Russian Politician Demands Banning McDonalds After Fast Food Chain Halts Crimea Operations

Tyler Durden's picture

A few weeks ago, when the US announced the first set of sanctions against Russia, we jokingly commented that among the possible retaliations would be a Russian explusion of that global US permastaple, McDonalds. As it turns out, yet another "joke" may be on its way to becoming the truth.

The reason: overnight, newly Russian citizens in the Crimea discovered that they will have to live without Big Macs for a while after McDonald’s suspended operations on the Crimean Peninsula after it was annexed by Russia. In response, infamous Russian nationalist member of parliament, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, has demanded that every McDonald’s restaurant in Russia should be closed and the business evicted from the country.

Japan Times has more on the first part of the story:

The omnipresent U.S. fast-food chain said in a statement, posted on its Ukrainian website and taped to the front doors of its shuttered restaurants, that the decision was taken “for manufacturing reasons beyond the company’s control.”


The news hit 21-year-old Lilia especially hard because she had been happily employed at McDonald’s until Thursday and had no suspicion that she was about to be out of work.


They told us that we would be closing because Kiev was no longer sending us any ingredients,” she said as a blond girl next to her pulled at the restaurant’s locked door in vain.


Yet the move out of Crimea by the world’s biggest hamburger maker reflects a much broader uncertainty among Western firms about their positions in Russia following the Kremlin’s military intervention in Ukraine.


McDonald’s insisted that it wants to reopen the stores “as soon as there is an opportunity.”

So, the official version is that Kiev was no longer in the pink slime processed meat delivery business when it comes to newly annexed territories? Perhaps JPM was also not in the money transfer business for all companies east of the Volga river, because Kiev wouldn't supply the cables?

Joking aside, Russia was not only quick to see through the real reason for the shutdown, but did what it has done all along in the relentless Tit-for-Tat when it comes to the future of Ukraine: it re-escalate. From Telegraph:

The fast food chain became embroiled in the fall out of the worst diplomatic crisis in years when it closed its three Crimean chains.


McDonald’s announced the temporary closure of its outlets in Simferopol, Yalta and Sevastopol, due to what the company called “operation reasons beyond McDonald’s control.”


The company offered its Crimean staff jobs at any other outlet in mainland Ukraine and has promised to reopen the restaurants as soon as possible. But as far as some of the more hawkish elements in Moscow are concerned, the damage has been done.


“McDonalds closed their outlets in Crimea. Very well. We’ll close the rest. I’ve given instructions to all city divisions of the Liberal Democratic Party to hold pickets at every McDonalds,” Mr Zhirinovsky said on Friday.


It’s muck, why poison our citizens,” Mr Zhirinovsky added in the outburst.

Well... he is right, as "court jesters" usually are.

While Mr Zhirinovsky is widely viewed as the court jester of Russian politics, his trademark outbursts are occasionally used as trial balloons for schemes that do eventually become policy.


If this is one of those cases, other iconic American food brands may also have to watch out.


Mr Zhirinovsky suggested that after closing every McDonald’s restaurant in the country, he would move on down a hit list of brands.

And after the Bolshoi Mak is gone? "Then we’ll deal with Pepsi" Zhirinovsky said.

Russia aside, considering America's own problem with runaway, pardon the pun, obesity and spiraling healthcare costs, isn't it time Kiev also halted sending ingredients to US-based McDonalds restaurants?

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holdbuysell's picture

Looks like McDonald's same store sales growth is going to really suck in Crimea this month.

Truthseeker2's picture



Obama’s Ukraine Fiasco Will Trigger US-EU Economic Ruin…

Pool Shark's picture



"I'm lovin' it."



BaBaBouy's picture

NO Bigg-MACK For YOU, Commrade...

BaBaBouy's picture

Crimeans Just Got Handed To Them An EXTRA 10 YEARS Life Expectancy !!!
Thanks MCD...

onewayticket2's picture

Dear Vlad,

You're only half right.  The way to cause real pain to America is to ban McDonald's in Washington, DC, not Crimea.   You'd have rioting and protests at 1600 in under 15 min.

666's picture

An unexpected, but welcome, outcome for Crimeans! Not only will they not have to pay the 40% per year gas hike, 1% tax on their bank accounts over 100K HRY, deal with a debt in the billions owed to China and Rusia, etc., now they will be healthier than their Ukranian counterparts.

So when will the rest of Ukraine join Russia?

f16hoser's picture

McDonalds food SUCK's anyway. Close 'em all I say.

zerozulu's picture

NWO, new relics. McDonald, the first goat to be sacrificed when two tribes take their arms up in the air.

Mesquite's picture


You were a day early (with your post...)   :-)

PT's picture

No loss.  Hungry Jacks is waaaayyy better.  Mind you, even HJs is crap really.  No-name mum-and-dad hamburger shops ARE THE BEST.  Hamburger costs twice as much?  Who gives a shit, they're still affordable PLUS THEY'RE EDIBLE AND TASTY AND REAL.  I mean, honestly, anyone can produce cheaper crap if what they make doesn't actually do what it is supposed to do.  I could sell you a car for fifty bucks if you didn't mind having a cardboard cutout.  Maccas can give you cheaper burgers if they taste like slimy cardboard.  But that is not what real burgers are about.

Oh yeah, do you want some fiefdom fries with that?

And, and, and, FREE TRADE WILL MAKE THE WORLD MORE PEACEFUL!  (MSM tolled me sew - menny, menny times.)







Actually, and I really hate to admit this, one of the best burgers I ever had was from a big - chain hardware store that had an in-store cafe.  Not sure if they still make 'em, but those burgers were top quality.  Sure they cost more than McDs and co (maybe 50% to 100% more, I really can't remember) but I was an adult apprentice living by myself at the time and I could still afford to buy them. 

Aussiekiwi's picture

I have always had an atrocious diet, I'll shovel anything in, massive chocolate eater,bacon and eggs for breaky, love cheese and lots of fatty chops fried, oh yeah potato fried in chop fat, yum yum,  friends I know are astonished, I only have 2 rules. no soda or sweets apart from dark chocolate. No takeaways. Had Tests about 6 months ago, I'm in my fifties, I'm slim, cholesterol a fraction high, blood pressure spot on, no prescription medications, I had a theory 30 years ago that you could eat anything you wanted and as much as you wanted provided you did not drink soda pop like drinks or eat takeaways and I applied it, I walk a couple of hours a week too. people used to eat lots of fatty meat, eggs,bacon etc in the old days, but they were not fat. Its takeaways that does it, sugar and doughy processed flour crap, and drinks with 20 teaspoons of white sugar in them.

Went to the mall at 12:30 one day there was a queue outside MacDonald and one outside the health food takeaway next to it, the health food takeaway people were all slim, tha MacDonald queue was 9 fat people for every slim person, I reckon eating at Mac Donald's is an IQ test, and they take their kids there, how much must they hate their kids to do that to them.


daveO's picture

LOL! I agree completely with your diet. Sugar(and starch) kills. I quit MCD's when they quit cooking fries in Beef Tallow. They were awesome back then(about 25 yrs ago). Back then, the customers had to pay for soda refills. That, alone, explains why they've gotten so big.

flapdoodle's picture

I took my four year old son to McD once because he insisted in a Happy Meal with a Toy Story goodie. OK, I hadn't gone to McD for a *long* time, and had never taken him before, so why not?  He took one bite out of the hamburger and put it down in disgust to play with the Happy Meal toy. He wouldn't touch i anymore.

Smart boy! But McD can't be *that* bad, and I used to love their burgers and fries when I was in High School many years ago, so II says to myself, it would be a shame to throw away a "perfectly good" hamburger. I was on the Atkins diet at the time, so said, what the heck, took the meat (?) patty out of the bun and took a bite of the meat.. Yuck...had to spit it out.  It was *really* foul - I hate to think what it does to ones health...

Haven't been back in twelve years and never will again.

I can see that without the sugar-laden hamburger bun  the game would be up for McD, except of course that the sheep have become accustomed, or maybe McD improved the pink slime flavor over the years...

Now In-n-Out Hamburgers, that's something else...

BellyBrain's picture

So then you basically eat high protein, high fat, moderate-to-low-carb, but with lots of chocolate?  Sounds pretty good...

Wraith's picture

What you are describing is the paleo or primal diet.  It is an attempt to return to the eating of our predecessors (the ones before all the sugar and rubbish got added to EVERYTHING). It works really well for everyone because it is the natural way of eating for humans: high fat, moderate protein, low carb (and only natural carbs - not processed ones).  It's effectively how our grandparents ate. 

HardAssets's picture

When I have a fast food craving I go to a local, small family cafe or drive-in. In such places you can find Real Food. No, you won't get it within 30 seconds, but it won't dump junk in your system that'll cause problems that'll stick with you. Like with anything, its buyer beware.  Local places aren't all necessarily good, so you have to shop around. But, mickieDs are uniformly horrible.

BanksterSlayer's picture

They don't need to actually ban McDonalds ... just change "Dollar Menu" to "Ruble Menu."



cossack55's picture

Maybe change "Five Guys" to "Five Comrades".  Money maker for someone.

QQQBall's picture

In Syria, Iraq and Libya its the Rubble Menu

daveO's picture

May as well shut down Russian stores. Very few black customers there to advertise to.

Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

We Russian's tend to be about 2-3x smarter, on average, than Americons.


We avoid the fast-food fever, prefering instead to poison ourselves with vodka.



Jam's picture

Maybe they will think of running the community organizers home turf into the ground next.

BlindMonkey's picture

Yep. You have to keep the Russian and Ukrainian women hot. Getting rid of mcD's will go a long way towards making sure they don't turn into copies of Bovine-Americans.

Can't have a million dollar body when you eat from the dollar menu!!

UselessEater's picture

mmmm...add Soviet hard labour and you have buff man eye-candy instead of blokes with verandahs over the toy shop!

as an aside, in Port Douglas (Carins, Australia) there is a beach front hotel with private pools with a GLASS front across the road from a kids playground. Imagine the shock and laughter one day when a lilly white tubby guy went for a nude swim in his private pool. We saw a big white tummy with a little bauble bobbing behind, we laughed too loud and all the kids turned to look.

Infinite QE's picture

Grapping all the Monsatan execs and sending them to break rocks in Siberia would guarantee him a Nobel Prize.


Unless of course that instituion is corrupt too, hint hint, Obama's prize.

remain calm's picture

No special sauce for you.

Jumbotron's picture

The more you ban these shit burger outfits the potentially more healthy your people will be.  Go ahead and ban them all.

HardAssets's picture

I used to go to this tiny cafe attached to a shooting range (Seattle area). They only had three tables and was owned by a lady that came over from the newly fallen USSR.  I used to order a stuffed cabbage and borscht soup with a dollop of sour cream. Absolutely delicious and I think it was $6 with a soda. The lady hadnt quite figured out American pricing yet.

Why people around the world bought into the American fast food fix when they have so many delicious and healthy cuisines, I'll never know.  They would do themselves a favor by eating real food again.

kashey's picture

It won't be for long. Russia raised gas prices from 265 to 485 dollars, because 2 discounts ( 1 - to support Yanukovich and 2 - to pay for Sevastopol naval base) are not applied any more. Ukraine said it will not pay more than 265. As well they don't pay anything for consuned gas in February and March, as well I' m sure they will have no money to pay further. So very soon we'll see new round of gas wars with Russia reducing its gas flow for volume of Ukraine's gas consumption, and Ukraine stealing gas meant for Europe, and Europe blaming Russia for "using gas weapon to blackmail Europe". So Ukraine will economically collapse and probably dusintegrate as a state, there will be nobody to economically block Crimea.

Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Kashey... Ukraine is going to need NATO troops but not for the reasons msm is spouting now.

NATO will be sent in to stop the theft of gas bound for western europe by Ukrainian government. 

Not the outcome that our leaders envisioned.

And forget that story about US gas liquification headed to western europe to replace Russian gas... It ain't gonna happen... more pie in the sky.

"The Insanity Of U.S. Energy Independence & Cracks Beginning To Appear In The Natural Gas Industry"


Canary Paint's picture

And the average weight of Crimeans will decrease, too... Through sanctions, Crimeans will be slimmer and healthier. With any luck, they will be sanctioned by Monsanto, the pharmaceutical industry, Hollywood TV & movies, and the IMF. Crimeans will be superhumans in 50 years if so ;-p

ziggy59's picture

Fear not, for the weather excuse is now global..

rabbitusvomitus's picture

Ruh Roh!  There goes this quarter's profits....


Moscow politician calls for all 400 McDonald’s outlets in Russia to be shut down after fast-food giant exits Crimea

Freddie's picture

McDonalds = scum Chicago suburbs company serving GMO Frankenfood and pink slime. MCD is a Obam voter EBT/WIC hangout. 

F MCD, McCain, Obam, Schumer and O's govt of dual citizens and Nudelmans.

Eat McDonald's shit fake food at your peril.

Russia needs Chick Filet and Jesus.  Their food is actually tolerable and far better than McDonld's Pink GMO Slime.

stant's picture

A few fries short of a happy meal

New_Meat's picture

There had been a thing about "no two countries with Mickie-Deez have ever gone to war with each other."

Pool Shark's picture



So, now that they're closed; let the war begin!



McMolotov's picture

"When Big Macs don't cross borders, soldiers will."

ymom11's picture

There is an interesting theory that no two countries with McDonald's restaurants ever went to war with each other...

nmewn's picture

lol...because when you're really hungry, you eat whatever you can find.

When you eat whatever you can find, you wind up eating hallucinogenic wild plants. When you eat hallucinogenic plants, you start seeing things that aren't really there, like imaginary cake & cookies. When you try to live on fantasy pastries you will wind up starving to death.

Don't starve to death.

Its absolutely imperative we spread McDonalds to every corner of the world! ;-)