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And The CME Breaks (Due To "Technical Issues")

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The new normal...

  • *CME CITES SOME CME GLOBEX FUTURES, OPTIONS MKTS ON WEBSITE
  • *CME SAYS DUE TO TECHNICAL ISSUES, HALTS SOME FUTURES,OPTIONS
  • *CME HALTS SOME GLOBEX FUTURES, OPTIONS MARKETS

As CME explains (or doesn't)

 

The full list of compromised futures and options:

  • Corn (ZC);
  • Mini-Corn (XC);
  • Wheat (ZW);
  • Mini-Wheat (XW);
  • Feeder Cattle (GF);
  • Live Cattle (LE);
  • Lean Hog Futures (HE);
  • Goldman Sachs C.I. (GD);
  • Class III Milk, Class IV Milk, Non-fat Dry Milk (DC);
  • Cash-Settled Cheese, Dry Whey (DY);
  • Random Length Lumber (LU);
  • KCBT Wheat (KE); MGEX Wheat (MW);
  • U.S. Dollar Denominated Crude Palm Oil (UC);
  • Cash-settled Butter (CB);
  • MGEX Apple Juice Concentrate (AJ);
  • Goldman Sachs - Excess Return (GA);
  • Real Estate Complex (HI);
  • MGEX National Corn Index (IC);
  • MGEX Hard Red Winter Wheat Index (IH);
  • MGEX Hard Red Spring Wheat Index (IP);
  • MGEX National Soybean Index (IS);
  • MGEX Soft Red Winter Wheat Index (IW);
  • CDD & HDD Weather and Rainfall Complex (HW);
  • Frost Complex (FZ);
  • Hurricane Complex (HF);
  • Snowfall Complex (SB)

CME took to Twitter to explain:

 

 

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Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:06 | 4636347 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

It's been broken for years, as a scam home for the bankers.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:10 | 4636362 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Bubblegum and bandaids fell off the lug nuts....

 

Roll'd it till the wheels fell off....

 

Silver Bitchezzz!!

 

Fuck you Bernanke, Yellen, Dimon, Chilton, Masters, Soros, Gore, Kissenger, Pope...and fuck all your mommas too.

 

(i feel a bit better)

 

RIPS

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:12 | 4636384 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Wait... what are those last 3 things on the list?  Sorry, I'm not a commodities guy, but I was doing fine until I got to the last 3.

 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:14 | 4636402 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

I concur. WTF?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:22 | 4636437 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Sunlight is a commodity, bitchez.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:43 | 4636524 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

The Frost Complex is a contract that is based on the likelihood of you getting laid before the expiration date.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:59 | 4636574 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Yea if your girlfriend goes cold you get frosted. Takes the bloom of the evening right pronto.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:11 | 4636621 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

So how exactly do you hedge the gf? with another gf? 2?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:19 | 4636633 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

The gf is the hedge for the wife. 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 19:54 | 4637486 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

That's called leverage. Be careful of a potential squeeze.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:50 | 4636707 Leaping Lizard
Leaping Lizard's picture

They are HAARP/CHEMTRAIL derivatives.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:55 | 4636722 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Exactly!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:17 | 4636407 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Fair enough... It could be confused with all your mommas...I mean all their mommas. :)

 

Nice nailgun.

 

List list..whos on the list.

 

http://www.henrymakow.com/committee_of_300.html

 

The crown and church are responsible for alot of killing in the name of___________. Right?

RIPS

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:52 | 4636552 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Henry Makow is so whacked out that even Jeff Rense won't link to his digital detritus.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 17:20 | 4636971 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Fuck the messenger.. the list looks about right to me.

 

RIPS

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:20 | 4636425 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Looks like somebdy is going to get Corzined.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:15 | 4636399 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Frost Complex?

Hurricane Complex?

Snowfall Complex?

 

Better put your booties on. It's cold out there!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:16 | 4636410 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

you guys are missing the best one. "Random length lumber". 

"I need some lumber and I need it right now goddammit, I don't care what length!"

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:20 | 4636427 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Random length lumber (Lu)lz

 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:25 | 4636452 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I just blew snot all over the keys, fonz!!!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:28 | 4636466 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I call that firewood.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:57 | 4636541 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Rough sawn dimensional lumber when sold by thousands of board feet(MBF) will contain random lengths.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:04 | 4636601 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Usually in a range.  8' or better, 10' or better, 12' and so on.  But yeah, it's considered and called "random length."

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:59 | 4636573 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture

hahahahaha

 

 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:08 | 4636734 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

I'm not proud, if It's free I take it. You never know when you are going to need a piece of wood.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 19:12 | 4637361 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I thought that lumber is always a random length and rangebound. It increases in size, it grows, during certain times and seasons, with the appropriate environment.

 

Now some may choose to cut their lumber. Others may choose to have others' lumber cut without their consent.  

 

But in my opinion they need appreciate the length of their lumber to be just the way that it is.

 

But I will take the Beaver any day if they don't gnaw at my lumber.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636349 One And Only
One And Only's picture

WTF

This god damn market breaks every fucking day it feels like.

Fix this shit already.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:11 | 4636385 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

It is "fixed".

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:19 | 4636423 One And Only
One And Only's picture

What you did there. It was clever. I liked it.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636350 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Just unplug it for 30 seconds and then plug it back in.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:08 | 4636363 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

CTRL-ALT-DELETE and done!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:09 | 4636366 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

cntrl-alt-del

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 17:13 | 4636948 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Maybe they are still using XP.

 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:10 | 4636373 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

here ya go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DItgw1mU9Us

btw..."random length lumber"? Can you imagine people leaving with tiny pieces yelling how they got fucked over again? I can.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:43 | 4636690 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The contract was for 200 telephone poles, but they couldn't deliver, so I had to settle for 5,000,000,000 matchsticks. 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:14 | 4636779 seek
seek's picture

Awesome!

Disclosure: long glue futures

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:10 | 4636379 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

Gold star for you today.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636351 Tinky
Tinky's picture

CME? The Crimean Madcap Escapade?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636352 indygo55
indygo55's picture

Goldman-Sachs Excess Returns? WTF is that?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636353 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

What did someone transact something against the manipulation?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636355 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

RIGGED.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:14 | 4636398 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Rigged!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636356 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

WTF Goldman Sachs has two markets of it's own!!!

Should I be surprised. Fuckers.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:07 | 4636357 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

How the world advances

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:10 | 4636375 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Yup.

To where exactly we aren't quite sure yet....

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:08 | 4636359 Gypsyducks
Gypsyducks's picture

Classic!  Something wicked this way comes...

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:08 | 4636365 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

corzined again

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:09 | 4636369 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

CME Group  How the world advances

Not very well apparently...

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:10 | 4636376 CHX
CHX's picture

<<< "some elite shorts" got too much heat of a rising commodity market

<<< nothing to see here, move along

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:11 | 4636380 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

BSOD.  Nice.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:12 | 4636388 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

You guessed it ------ must be the ------------------- WEATHER!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:14 | 4636400 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I mow my lawn with a 42 year old Bolens Husky tractor (just because I can).  It breaks a LOT less than these markets.  

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:22 | 4636433 DontGive
DontGive's picture

Like a boss!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:17 | 4636416 TheHamburglar
TheHamburglar's picture

Most likely related to the SSL vulnerability publicized earlier today.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:22 | 4636432 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Or CME is running Windows XP

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:26 | 4636456 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

With Google Chrome.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:27 | 4636464 Brainssss
Brainssss's picture

At least they didn't have to halt Frosted Mini-Wheat.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:32 | 4636478 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

Awww, your posting click is faster than mine.  Beat me to it!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:28 | 4636470 deeply indebted
deeply indebted's picture

Since this seems to be the "new normal", perhaps a "How to Trade a Broken Exchange" story is in order?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:31 | 4636475 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Mini-Wheat (XW)"

Hey, were these the Frosted Mini-Wheats?  If so, then XW and FZ should always be in correlation, right?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 14:51 | 4636546 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

And I have clients wondering why I refuse to trade options and currencies. I have killer strategies but they don't work if the options markets break at crucial times. Then when they aren't broken you can't get a fricking bid. The HFT guys are NEVER there when you need them.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:00 | 4636578 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

Fuck the petrodollar, we must save the palm-oil-dollar!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:04 | 4636602 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

Where is Bart the Fart when you need him?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:07 | 4636612 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Where does Jim Rogers trade commodities?

How do I open an account in Singapore?

I guess I'll have to buy some real property in Singapore like Jim.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:18 | 4636631 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

May I suggest 1-800-GEEK-SQUAD.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:25 | 4636650 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Thanks for the ticker symbols.

 

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:39 | 4636677 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

CTRL-ALT-DEL you lazy fuckers!!!!!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:40 | 4636681 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I'm going long on frost here. (FZ)  Where is the "We are likely going to get more fucking snow here again before the temps go straight to 110 degrees F and tornadoes blow us to hell." hedge option?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:44 | 4636695 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Did they try unplugging, waiting a  minute and plugging back in?

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 15:51 | 4636712 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Without a doubt my favorite is "Random Length Lumber". 

 

I've experienced that repeatedly over the years.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:22 | 4636805 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

Physical gold, bitchez!  No IT department required.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:23 | 4636807 kurt
kurt's picture

Of course its down. It all runs on a Dell with a Pentium 1 and Windows XP. They were afraid that XP support is done so they were transfering operations to a Timex Sinclair Kaypro I with tape drive.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:24 | 4636810 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Turn these machines off right now!!!

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:36 | 4636836 katchum
katchum's picture

I thought these were a joke:

  • Frost Complex (FZ);
  • Hurricane Complex (HF);
  • Snowfall Complex (SB)
Tue, 04/08/2014 - 17:19 | 4636966 zipit
zipit's picture

Can someone provide info or links about FZ, HF, and SB, please?  Because when I Google them, nothing comes up except this blog post and ones like it.  I can't find anyting on CME's website, either.  Thanks.

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:44 | 4636861 dot_bust
dot_bust's picture

"Mortimer, we're back."

-- Coming to America

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 16:55 | 4636883 cheetahbaby
cheetahbaby's picture

Russian assymetrical warfare. The first time is happenstance, the second time is coincidence, and the third time is enemy action.....

Tue, 04/08/2014 - 18:38 | 4637261 Quackking
Quackking's picture

I'm guessing this is less creepy than it appears.

One word: Heartbleed.

http://www.zdnet.com/heartbleed-security-patches-coming-fast-and-furious...

I spent the last couple of hours patching SSL on my servers.

The real issue is - who's been bleeding the certs and ACL credentials for the last month or so?

 

 

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