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"Scared" Gartman Bottom Ticks Market With Uncanny Precision... Again

Tyler Durden's picture


Yesterday, when we commented on the bloodbath going on in the hedge fund space, someone asked if a hedge fund mauling is an indication of a market bottom. We replied no, and clarified as follows: "The bottom tick sign, if any, is that Gartman just went mega bearish..."

Yup: the infamous, and infallible, Gartman contrarian indicator had just struck again.

Ironically it was merely days earlier on April 1, when Gartman collected his daily $200 CNBC appearance fee, saying that "experience tells him to stay bullish on stocks", and that it's foolhardy to fret about the fundamentals of the economy adding that "Here, write this down: The stock market will stop when it stops, and not a moment before. It's moving from the lower left to the upper right," Gartman said. "Enjoy the ride!"

Fast forward to Monday when we got the following pearl:

In a reversal of his more bullish take on U.S. equities in recent weeks, Dennis Gartman said Monday that he's getting out of equities and sticking with cash and gold to ride out the recent pullback, which he called a "long-awaited and much-needed correction."


On CNBC's "Fast Money" on Monday, the editor of the Gartman Letter said simply, "I got scared."


Gartman said that Friday's action made it seem as though a switch was flipped in the minds of investors. "The whole world switched at that period of time," he said.


That same switch evidently dimmed Gartman's view of stocks as well; he pared down his exposure to equities from an average of 100 percent, to close to zero.




"You don't need to be short, but you don't need to be long at this point. I think cash is the right place to be," he said.




In Monday's issue of "The Gartman Letter," Gartman said he couldn't recall "a time in our history of trading when we've seen such unanimity of trend reversals" as was observed on Friday. "Indeed, the changes were material enough and important enough to mandate that action be taken to reduce our exposure to everything we have on, save for positions in gold," he said.

Ah, to have Gartman's magical VWAP algo that allows him to get out of all stocks into all cash in the span of hours. But then again one doesn't need VWAP or any other WAP when one "transacts" in monopoly money. Further, here was his commentary from his April 8 "Gartman letter":

STOCKS: The Trend’s Still Up But the Sidelines Seem the Better Place To Be: We’ve gone to the sidelines as the market “reversed” to the downside last Friday and seems intent upon tracing out a monthly reversal too, although it is far, far too early in the month to make that statement now and to give it great credence. But with the 100 and 200 day moving averages so far below us and with the market’s propensity to put the 100 day moving average to test we’ve taken to the sidelines… and we’re rather comfortable there… at least for now.

For those curious, here is the entire clip:


So what happened next? This:


Then again, none of this should be a surprise. Recall:

And so on.

We were wondering what we would do in the absence of Tom Stolper's impeccable genius of picking FX inflection points, we are, however, lucky to still have Dennis.

So this Bud's for you, real man of contrarian genius - we hope you remain as long of CNBC appearances (in $200 appearance fee terms) as is possible, sharing market inflection points with laserlike precision.

Luckily if Gartman is ever barred from appearing on CNBC, there is always a backup plan:


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Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:36 | 4640707 FilthyHabits
FilthyHabits's picture

What a crack head...

Arm Yourselves..

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:43 | 4640734 gafgroocK
gafgroocK's picture




Gartman is *simply* the *best* Fade trade in the World!


He's better than any ol' Goldman Muppet Buy/Sell Rec !


He makes a Cramer Fade look unpredictable !

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:46 | 4640752 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Nobody beats the Cramer fade. Nobody...


Cramer, FTW!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:48 | 4640757 Algosaurus Rex
Algosaurus Rex's picture

You have NO IDEA what it's like out there! NO IDEA!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:55 | 4640786 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Kass, paging Doug Kass - third stooge, ur up!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:01 | 4640817 Algosaurus Rex
Algosaurus Rex's picture

Art Laffer is on deck...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:09 | 4640851 synergize
synergize's picture

Now I see why people pay $150 / month(?) for his newsletter - you can't go short Dennis Gartman if you dont know what he's saying...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:40 | 4640959 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

$150 a month? For "Lower Left to Upper Right"?

Good work if you can find it.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4641030 bania
bania's picture

Lower Denis to the upper Gartman

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:10 | 4640861 macholatte
macholatte's picture



Is there anyone who is not a contrarian indicator, who actually does get it right +60% of the time?

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:15 | 4640873 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

My favorite actual Cramer line:

I blew Foster Wheeler and i'm not proud of it

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:20 | 4640887 synergize
synergize's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:37 | 4640943 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

5:30PM, someone just dumped a few thousand gold contracts. Went from +$3.20 to -$3.30 in one flash. So much for fidiuciary duties.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:31 | 4640924 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

wonder if FW was sporting a smile thereafter?!


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:50 | 4641147 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

i'm fairly desperate at times, but i'm not sure i want garden gnomes anywhere near me, let alone my best bits.


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 00:49 | 4642197 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

When Lawn Warriors Strike: how to survive

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:52 | 4641153 Moon Pie
Moon Pie's picture

Favorite Cramer Line:  "Nobodys gonna continue paying $2 for average Starbucks coffee."  Circa 2003.

He added a bunch of other Cramerisms panning SBUX, then at $24.  Closed at $70 today.

Buffoon, I tell ya, the man is a Buffoon!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:37 | 4641477 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

Favorite Cramer Line: "Nobodys gonna continue paying $2 for average Starbucks coffee." Circa 2003.

He's just early in his call.  Where is Starbux going to be when the world is back on REAL MONEY and all the credit cards are vacuumed out of the sheeple's wallets?

He added a bunch of other Cramerisms panning SBUX, then at $24. Closed at $70 today.

Hmmmm...... QE double double anyone?  

I admit the man is moron, but then again isn't anyone who touts this market on TV?  I give Cramer one small credit though, in 2008 when the market was crashing he did advise anyone who was retiring in the next few years to GET OUT!!!  He quickly went back in the dumper when he began saying "just a trillion for wall st" and we can make this go away in late November 2008!!



Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4640824 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Free Jon Corzine!  He should be on Wall Street ripping people off like he used to!  Why let Gartman, Kass, and Cramer have all the fun?

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:55 | 4640788 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I don't watch the cartoon channel so don't know who this Gartmun character is.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:09 | 4640858 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

I bet his entire Au holding is paper

theres no way a chump like this would be in physical gold

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 21:41 | 4641687 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I´ve heard him say he owns gold in yen more than once. 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:12 | 4640869 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Assman Speaks! Again!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:56 | 4640790 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The entire economy has become a bipolar, schizophrenic basket case, with no one really knowing how it's all *relatively* treading water, while the hull of the economic ship, in reality, takes on more and more water.

There aren't any rational "investors" out there. There are only insiders, people playing with OPM, and degenerate gambling junkies.

All the Fed's manipulations and BigGov's manipulations of everything from banks, to interest rates, to subsidies (to rich and poor alike), to tinkering with energy credits, the tax code, etc. have only made things more bipolar and schizophrenic.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:03 | 4640829 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Thank you fluoride.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 22:10 | 4641797 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

And we still have 3 more years of Obama.  There is no way on Earth this shitstorm is going to be held off until he gets to jump ship.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 00:45 | 4642193 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

SOLD! I'll buy that for a dollar!

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 04:08 | 4642332 Seer
Seer's picture

If it appears irrational it's because it's dealing with the irrational: The perpetual-growth-on-a-finite-planet system's head is exploding (over it having no growth to feed it).

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:12 | 4640870 WSMassiv
WSMassiv's picture

The only thing that was missing was the eye twitch...

I add it in my memories, makes me laugh thank you..

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:49 | 4640762 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Dear Tyler,

Could you give us a warning the next time Dennis turns bullish, so we can all short the hell out of the market?



Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:59 | 4640805 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Gartman = dweeb.  Look it up.  Love me some contrarian indicators.  Now that Kudlow is toast I gotta look elsewhere.  Thanks for the new standard.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:59 | 4640807 holmes
holmes's picture

"So this Bud's for you, real man of contrarian genius - we hope you remain as long of CNBC appearances (in $200 appearance fee terms) as is possible, sharing market inflection points with laserlike precision."

The Tylers' have taken snarkiness to new heights. It's why I love this site.

Thanks Tyler.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:03 | 4640830 negative rates
negative rates's picture

From what I grew, this buds for you.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:49 | 4641143 Remington IV
Remington IV's picture

CNBC's " Fast Money" crew =  Chimp City

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:44 | 4640962 mtndds
mtndds's picture

what a tool.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:21 | 4641416 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

The stopped having Ralph Acampora coming onto CNBC when he made bad predictions back at the start of the 2000 tech bubble bust.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 23:51 | 4642085 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Ralph IllmakeUpoorer & Ron InsaneA should have started a hedge fund together.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:37 | 4640712 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

I cannot wait until he goes full retard.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:39 | 4640718 Algosaurus Rex
Algosaurus Rex's picture

You mean he hasn't already?

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:39 | 4640725 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

He is nearly there.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:42 | 4640738 Algosaurus Rex
Algosaurus Rex's picture

Keep me posted...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:43 | 4640743 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Lookup full retard in the dictionary and there is a picture of Dennis Gartman.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:38 | 4640715 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Hahaha! Jackass.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:40 | 4640726 10mm
10mm's picture

Priceless and worthless. 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:27 | 4641085 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

Fucking love that 8am perfect convex dump that can only be done when a desperate seller overloads the book. Somewhere is a really dumb looking agency trader who was suckered into the squak box.

Stay Awesome.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:40 | 4640727 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

The fact that this guy makes more than 99% of us, really goes to show just how stupid this has all become.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:44 | 4640745 FilthyHabits
FilthyHabits's picture

Does it really matter what you make when you end up becoming a complete immoral fucktard that has genital herpies and anal warts from all the parties he thinks we're a good idea?

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:50 | 4640772 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

You can tell he's a miserable human being. Cares more about money and fame than anything real. I'm sure he hates his life.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:50 | 4640975 knukles
knukles's picture

Sounds more like one of my ex-bosses ... hating his life ... Maybe my old boss was too narcissistic to not know to hate his own life ...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:30 | 4641451 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

Dennis Ass Wartman.........  Good one FilthyHabits!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:40 | 4640729 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Gartman is the new Cramer.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:42 | 4640739 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

Maybe he is the one I bought those spoos from yesterday.


Don't these idiots know that it is literally impossible for this market to go down for any appreciable length of time or magnitude? 


It is not going to happen, ever.  We have passed the point of no return where the market shall continue its parabolic rise towards infinity as the USD declines towards zero.  


All down-ticks need to be bought with both hands, its free money.  

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:44 | 4640747 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Wow.  You'd think we were at 36k by the way you are writing. 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:53 | 4640779 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

I think he is right.We need to rename the 'market' the Zim bourse.

It will keep rising to valueness.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:58 | 4640802 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 19:28 | 4641231 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Valueless. It will continue to rise but lack any real value as the value of the currency is concurrently destroyed.


Me thinks un o' doze thar awtimatic spellcheckers gots 'im in that thar un.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:49 | 4640764 centerline
centerline's picture

You could be right.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:52 | 4640777 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

He'll be right until we wake up one morning and a rogue algo ate the NYSE.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:01 | 4640815 centerline
centerline's picture

lol.  I think the algo thing might be used for nasty downside move in the short term - but ultimately the big rush of capital is just getting started.  The chase for yield and/or safety isn't nearly in insane territory yet.  Being this is likely the last round before the global banking system shits itself, I am thinking we are looking at panic buying in the near future like no one has never been seen before.

When the capital flows reverse, they will suck the oxygen out of the US on the way out.  That's when shit really goes parabolic and the USD goes "poof."

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:07 | 4640843 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Until then the Fed Board will soothe everyone with an acapella version of "Dream Weaver" while Yellen trips on the kool aid.

Until then....

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:12 | 4640868 centerline
centerline's picture

I figure we have a few token HFT or similar perp walks for entertainment value coming up soon (you know... illusion of fairness and all).

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:28 | 4640905 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

And they'll blame some poor shlub from MIT for inventing the algo that decimated the NYSE instead of arresting Blankfien even though the banks are the problem.  

Goldman shut down Sigma X.  It wasn't their fault!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:03 | 4640832 max2205
max2205's picture

Stay long till they get rid of the , never

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:10 | 4640863 centerline
centerline's picture

Hmmm... I think the when the massive sucking sound is heard (as capital flees the US) at some point, that will be the moment to bail too.  That is when the TBTF will fail.  And that is where the FED will be overrun (by design).  The politicians will have thier fingerprints on the levers of the USD failure. Is ironic huh?  The ultimate "reaping of what one sows."  Except that the consequences land on the Public at large regardless of what will someday be termed "onerous debt" (ultimately referring to the USD itself).


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:03 | 4641016 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I think you mean odious debt.

USD comes under another category - unconsciounable contract. Look it up.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:46 | 4641117 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

i'm afraid he is right.  printing can not stop and will not stop.  it works!!  the ponzi works, they finally figured out how to keep funneling your money up into their accounts.

and i sit here and watch as my cash in brokerage account makes 0.004% interest, because i can't buy into stocks that i know aren't worth X% of the price.

it's not different this time. - what is different is the war is financial (always was) but to the nth degree because computing does so much better tracking the flow the betting and the winners and losers, and the transfer of fiat.  if you aren't playing in the 'game' - you are headed to a death camp (financially).

i'm not going to play the cheap, sympathy analogy.

'have you seen the smith's?  we hear they are 'savers'.'

'no.  havent'

'has anybody seen the smith's?  they are violating the law by saving.  they need to invest their money in stocks'

'no,  nobody in the neighborhood has seen the smith's in a few days'.

'is anybody harboring the smith's?'

'not that i know of'

'can we come in'?

that's where we are today, from my 'a lot of fun' perspective.  and it ain't a lot of fun, because it's more manipulated than ever.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:51 | 4640773 migra
migra's picture

Wow. Its time you found a meeting.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 19:09 | 4641186 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

You (ThisRideNeverEnds, etal.) can suck all the Fed dick you want----you're a coward loser hiding behind the status quo. May you reap what you have sown...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:49 | 4640763 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

An all American paid whore!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:56 | 4640789 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

That's a funny article. The poor bastard; he's not a trader and has no idea what to say; but he gets paid for mouthing off. His opinions are very much like the "common man's".  Should be another shorting opportunity coming up soon; the cycles are getting shorter; if it gets to 1890 I'm going short for sure.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:01 | 4640814 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

My question is: does he manage other people's money?  If so, then they are the ones to watch; proving that there really is a bigger fool.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 16:58 | 4640799 kurt
kurt's picture


Respect his authoritay!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4640822 ForWhomTheTollBuilds
ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

I tell this story every time...

He was on CBC Business World (no longer exists) the day Alberta was announcing whether or not the govts royalty take from the oil companies would rise.  Before the announcement he informed the anchor that no substantial changes would be made because the conservative govt understood well how to manage the province.


They then went to the govt announcement where sweeping changes were announced including some that would substantially increase taxes on the oil companies.


They came back to Gartman and the anchor and Gartman's face was beet red with anger and he muttered that Alberta was obviously in the hands of communists and he would no longer be investing in anything in the province.


Good times.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4640823 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Gartman is such a sock puppet, and a dirty sock with a hole in the toe at that.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:34 | 4640938 zipit
zipit's picture

a happy sock puppet

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4640825 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

he gets scared when the market is down 2% when everybody and his dog at zh knows that's when you must btfd. how funny.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4640827 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Going short on the triple-inverse ultra funds.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:04 | 4640835 Mr Giggles
Mr Giggles's picture

Is he an actor? cause if he is, he is about as convincing as Adam West.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:51 | 4640983 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 04:30 | 4642345 Flagit
Flagit's picture


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 10:11 | 4642960 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:07 | 4640845 IronShield
IronShield's picture

It ain't over yet.  Cause it wasn't over when the Germans b0mbed Pearl Harbor; no sir it wasn't.  And it ain't over now.  Not sayin Gartman is a genius, cause he ain't, but the Fed manipulated BS isn't exactly going to stick, except in the short term.  And it is likely to be quite short.  Smoke-em if you got-em.  The next round is going to be a doozie.  ;-)

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:23 | 4640901 Pareto
Pareto's picture

Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:37 | 4640947 IronShield
IronShield's picture

You must not be from around these here parts...  Allow me to enlighten you about how I learned history:

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 19:33 | 4641255 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Yeah. Those Germans bombed Pearl Harbor just like those Iraqis and Afghanis who flew aircraft into the WTC and Pentagram on 9-11.



Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:56 | 4641550 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:08 | 4640850 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:28 | 4640866 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Pensions are eating themselves - they need higher stock prices but there is no growth and little revenue.  Sorry everyone, but there will come a correction.  It will likely be when Gartmen, of course, goes long.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:15 | 4640872 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Last year on, Ralph Acampora said that IBM was a 'double'.  And I don't think he meant double top on the chart.  C'mon, Ralphie.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:15 | 4640874 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Well they all have their contrarians.


Look at FOX, they still bring Karl Rove on (who has been wrong more often then he has been right on the important stuff).

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:01 | 4641007 knukles
knukles's picture

Karl Rove and his ilk have never even addressed the important stuff.  They mumble shit about Establishment Republican Polemics and Fairy Tales and the boys all run off to vote with the Marxist Democrats.

Note today's Journal piece about Jeb Bush...  OK'ing unlimited immigration and common core education (indoctrination)... With the exception of some (badly maligned) Tea Partiers and Libertarians they might as well.. oh, neverthefuckmind
Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:17 | 4640879 RaiZH
RaiZH's picture

I don't think holding onto paper fiat currencies makes you "neutral" at all. 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:21 | 4640895 Hal n back
Hal n back's picture

My vision of a non algo portfolio manager nowadays. A guy or gal smoking a cigar, a bottle of beer  in hand and doing trades at random betting  on the Fed action, real or jawboning.


Its tantamount to going to a baseball game and making a bet on whether the next pitch is a strike or ball.



Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:26 | 4640906 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

Gartman, the "Sybil" of the financial media talking heads...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:38 | 4640953 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

What a dick!!!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:46 | 4640969 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Screw you guys. I'm going home.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:49 | 4640981 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

It actually looks like things were starting to go right for Gartman before the Fed minutes hit the tape, at which point stocks were buoyed by what can charitably be described as "a public reading of Fed members' memoirs of non-hawkishness." I actually have some sympathy for the guy on this one.

My big beef with Gartman has more to do with the fact that he consitently gets forex calls wrong on a technical evalution, which tells me he has difficulty understanding the very principles of economics.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 17:58 | 4641001 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Maybe the guys at the fed follow Gartman and fuck with the market every time he says something. I suggest this because this is exactly the kind of fuckery I would do if I had that much power. 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:03 | 4641014 knukles
knukles's picture

Ain't just Dennis bein' fucked with!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:43 | 4641126 rivoniaboy
rivoniaboy's picture


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:00 | 4641003 blindman
blindman's picture

i'm confused and ready to start a fire.
in the fire place, of course, so please
mr. blue, watching our every move,
don't lay your taser gun
on the agony of poor little me,
or send your underemployed rake workers
to front run my escape.
let me down easy or just let me go.
anyway poems*tm

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:02 | 4641011 blindman
blindman's picture

who said "he who sells first sells best"?
beats me into the evening.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:04 | 4641021 Spungo
Spungo's picture

Buy the all time high then sell the dips. That's how I roll.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:06 | 4641029 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

support? resistance? technical analysis hasn't worked since 2009 ... same goes for the fundamental analisys ...

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 23:52 | 4642087 Zero guest
Zero guest's picture

2009 was suport... 2013 was resistance.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 00:24 | 4642162 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

"support" and "resistance" aren't technical, they're fraudulent concepts.

Even at the very base level of inflation those are curves on linear price charts.

That means every declaration of a linear pattern is wrong and the worst wrong is one that's a flat line, zero slope, and "support" or "resistance" are those zero-slope lines declaring a particular price over the time window.

There's nothing technical about it. Those are absolute bullshit.

If a time-series equation was used to determine something that looked like a Bollinger band (but wasn't one) that would be support or resistance, anticipating specific price-windows on each particular time-slice of the chosen resolution, and never a linear model as the markets aren't linear.

That would be technical even if it was wrong some of the time. Support & resistance as declared prices, like "gold at 1300" and "support becomes resistance" are absolutely anti-technical and should be dismissed outright every time, every price, every chart.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:11 | 4641041 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

TPTB these days allow short signals in the technicals but then short-circuit them within days, downward momentum is verboten.


Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:13 | 4641048 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Do people actually pay for his letter, or is it in the boxes outside the super markets along with the real estate ads.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:21 | 4641072 Spungo
Spungo's picture

I would guess people really do pay for his letter. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that terrible advice is easier to sell. In 2009 when the market was ridiculously cheap, there was no way to convince people that they should buy low then sell high. Now that the market is at all time highs and anyone buying at the top is very likely to lose everything, every dumb ass is all in. Some people are even leveraged to buy at the very top.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:34 | 4641099 Blano
Blano's picture

Why oh WHY did I not buy calls when Tyler made that post?????  (slaps head)

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 18:38 | 4641108 Doug
Doug's picture

(singing) I love a charade....

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 19:24 | 4641226 MarcusAurelius
MarcusAurelius's picture

Tyler have you ever thought of opening a signal service based on these wall street Jackasses? Guys like Gartman and Stopler just might make you as good as the HFT boys doing the opposite of what they say....ha.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:03 | 4641367 Godisanhftbot
Godisanhftbot's picture

Gartman  makes Joe Granville look like  Nostradamus.

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 20:29 | 4641448 bardot63
bardot63's picture

Gartman is a moron. Everybody knows he's a moron.  Even Gartman knows he's a moron.  CNBC knows that also, which is why they keep bringing Garrtman on as a paid schill. I can't remember the last time CNBC (other than Santelli) had anyone on with any brains (or moral character).   The question now is, where does Gartman stand on selfies at the White House? 

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 21:15 | 4641607 MIDTOWN
MIDTOWN's picture

No No No Bear Stearns is fine, do not take your money out!

Wed, 04/09/2014 - 23:58 | 4642100 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Gartman’s next challenge is to figure out how to become a contrarian of himself.

Unfortunately, I think that’s also the first step to going insane, or possibly becoming a member of the U.S. Congress.


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 04:44 | 4642354 atoast2toast
atoast2toast's picture

I thought this kind of doom monger analysis was what zerohedge was all about ? Next you will start attacking Keith McCullough for his bearish calls - zerohedge wants a monopoly on armageddon protection 

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