This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Blythe Masters Under Investigation By Federal Prosecutors

Tyler Durden's picture


There is much new info in the just released Bloomberg profile on the infamous ex-JPMorganite Blythe Masters, among which the disclosure that she had made it clear that she had wanted to go along with the disposable JPM physical commodities unit (which as was reported recently, was sold to Swiss commodities giant Mercuria) and "and continue as the group's chief", a plan which did not work out as she had planned since she has no plans to "join the unit’s purchaser" (although joining Glencore is another matter entirely, and one which looks increasingly plausible) but what we find most striking is the following revelation: "Masters is under investigation by federal prosecutors in Manhattan, according to two people with knowledge of the matter. That probe was opened following a settlement with regulators that alleged JPMorgan manipulated power markets in the Midwest and California."

This is somewhat ironic because it was none other than Zero Hedge which asked nearly a year ago if "JPMorgan's "Enron" Will Be The End Of Blythe Masters?" Suddenly, the answer appears to be yes.

More from Bloomberg:

The existence of a probe surrounding JPMorgan’s role in the energy market has been known since August, when it was reported by several news organizations, including Bloomberg News, and subsequently disclosed by the New York-based bank. What wasn’t known was prosecutors’ interest in Masters.

We also learn that in addition to Mercuria, two other bidders for the JPM unit were Blackstone and Macquarie:

Blackstone appeared to have an inside track on Mercuria and Macquarie in the final round of bidding, according to three people involved in the process. The buyout firm had a significant banking relationship with JPMorgan through its history of acquisitions.


Its limited presence in commodities and energy trading also made it the most likely candidate to buy JPMorgan’s business in its entirety and bring Masters and her team on board to run it, the people said.

it is here that Masters' legal liabilities reared their, or technically her, ugly head:

As the January deadline for bids approached, the question of Masters’s legal exposure to the federal investigation remained, according to the people involved in the process.


JPMorgan didn’t provide a level of detail about the investigation that was satisfactory to some of the bidders, according to the people familiar with the process. Masters dismissed any concerns about the inquiry, one person said.


“We didn’t receive any complaints during the process,” said Marchiony, the bank spokesman, about information on the lingering investigation. 


Blackstone executives wondered whether there could be more to it than the bank was letting on, said one of the people. Given that Masters might end up as the public face of Blackstone’s commodities business, they were wary, this person said.


Macquarie also was wary about potential legal issues, said one of the people. The bank didn’t want any unforeseen developments to harm its reputation in the U.S. energy markets.


Mercuria’s executives were less concerned about the legal exposure, according to a person familiar with its bid. The firm, started in 2004 by two former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. traders, had a minimal presence in U.S. power and gas markets, and it could run JPMorgan’s business without Masters.

Could it perhaps be because Swiss regulators are even more clueless and coopted than their US peers? Considering the amount of Libor manipulators that ended up in Swiss asset managers the answer is a resounding yes. That said, even Mercuria appears to have nixed the idea of Blythe coming on board as part of the commodities group package.

This is not surprising. What is however, is just how concerned Blythe was about her own security.

During a due diligence period from mid-December through mid-January, a handful of bidders emerged. The most serious were Mercuria, New York-based buyout firm Blackstone Group LP (BX) and Macquarie Group Ltd. (MQG), an Australian bank. A fourth contender, Grupo BTG Pactual of Brazil, dropped out in part because of the extra capital Brazilian regulators would require it to hold, a person said at the time.


Masters met with senior executives from the three final bidders in New York and elsewhere, according to people involved in the process. Her arrival at some of the meetings, with an escort of bodyguards, left an impression on her unit’s suitors, said two of the people.

Now why would one go to a diligence meeting with bodyguards - it is almost as if she was convinced someone meant her harm regardless of the circumstances. Whyever could that be? Certainly not due to the way her group conducted itself full of "integrity" and abidance by the rules. Just recall from her CNBC interview in April 2012, in which she made the following on the record disclosures:

  • JPM's commodities business is not about betting on commodity prices but about assisting clients"... "it's about assisting clients in executing, managing, their risks and ensuring access to capital so they can make the kind of large long-term investments that are needed in the long run to expand the supply of commodities"...
  • "There's been a tremendous amount of speculation particularly in the blogosphere on this topic. I think the challenge is it represents a misunderstanding as the nature of our business. As i mentioned earlier, our business is a client-driven business where we execute on behalf of clients to achieve their financial and risk management objectives. The challenge is that commentators don't see that. So to give you a specific example, we store significant amount of commodities, for example, silver, on behalf of customers we operate vaults in New York City, Singapore and in London. And often when customers have that metal stored in our facilities, they hedge it on a forward basis through JPMorgan who in turn hedges itself in the commodity markets. If you see only the hedges and our activity in the futures market, but you aren't aware of the underlying client position that we're hedging, that would suggest inaccurately that we're running a large directional position. In fact that's not the case at all.
  • "We have offsetting positions. We have no stake in whether prices rise or decline. Rather we're running a flat or relatively flat matched book.
  • "What is commonly out there is that JPMorgan is manipulating the metals market. It's not part of our business model. it would be wrong and we don't do it."

Of course, if some or all of the above bullet points were flat our lies, one can understand why Blythe could be concerned about her personal security. Which in the aftermath of the London Whale fiasco in which we learned that JPM mostly exceled in lying about everything, appears to have been precisely the case.

In retrospect we can understand why the inventor of the Credit Default Swap would only dare go out in public with a couple of armed gorillas covering her back.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:29 | 4646060 fooshorter
fooshorter's picture


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:30 | 4646064 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Silver, BITCH.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:31 | 4646066 Slave
Slave's picture

Don't you mean meth? JESSE.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:35 | 4646078 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Try selling paper meth on the street.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:36 | 4646084 Slave
Slave's picture

Don't you mean blue meth? JESSE.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:40 | 4646100 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Heisenberg is DEAD and rolling in his grave.

Fuck you Cranston.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:49 | 4646133 Slave
Slave's picture

Heisenberg was a better guy than Bryan Cranston.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:57 | 4646156 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I just love Blythe Masters!!!!  She is creative, goal oriented, rich and beautiful.  What is not to love?

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:59 | 4646166 Max Hunter
Max Hunter's picture

Zackly. She can hide out in my bedroom for a week or so.


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:06 | 4646179 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

You'd be better off fucking a real squid.  Same marks when you're done, but the money will still be in your wallet.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:10 | 4646189 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Like Ted Cruz.


(bring on the red!)

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:19 | 4646224 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Poor Blythe.

Last one standing without a chair when the music stopped.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:39 | 4646266 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

looking for number 14 since jan. 26....could she be it?.....

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:06 | 4646319 Four chan
Four chan's picture

tip for sec regulators, they are all guilty.

the more profit the more underhanded manipulation.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:14 | 4646340 strannick
strannick's picture

Under-the-bus-Blthye. Dare to dream. ''Ding dong the witch is dead...''

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 05:38 | 4646605 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Blythe received a gold plated nail gun kit when she left JPM.


Unfortunately it didn't come with instructions.


Bodyguards huh?



Fri, 04/11/2014 - 07:01 | 4646669 cifo
cifo's picture

When you live by the sword, you die by the sword.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 06:52 | 4646661 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I want first dibs as her prison guard

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:23 | 4646356 barliman
barliman's picture


If this is accurate ... " the inventor of the Credit Default Swap would only dare go out in public with a couple of armed gorillas covering her back" ... why would you want her in your bed?

On the other hand, if you can't snap your fingers and have YOUR lackeys roll out a literal TON of physical gold ... why would she want to be within a mile of you?

IAC ... there are undoubtedly enough oligarchs she's pissed off or on to insure someday the pretty lady will  d i s a p p e a r 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:29 | 4646365 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

What's the difference between Blythe (JPM) and my bookie who recently got popped?  They are both making bets on both sides with other peoples money and taking the vig.  Half win half lose, they don't give a shit but they get 10% of the book...if it were legal we would all be doing it.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:42 | 4646389 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


I'll educate you.

Blythe Masters is a girl. She has a pretty smile and a nice set of titties. She is also one of the 'priveledged class', in that she has supposedly 'broken through' the so- called 'glass ceiling' of so-called 'gender bias' (AND, she has a nice fuckable ass, as well).

Tell me about your bookie.

A nasty, ugly, short, nervous MALE by the name of, perhaps, 'Guido', or 'Vinnie', HE isn't skinny, and has a small cock and NO titties. His ass has pimples on it, and his ass is not desirable by either sex (as he still hasn't learned how to wipe the shit off correctly, and never heard of soap)...



Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:47 | 4646462 Manthong
Manthong's picture

maybe miedevel on her butt would be approprite..

gee.. after all.. all thats what the MSM wants to impress on the dupes/

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 03:34 | 4646545 manofthenorth
manofthenorth's picture

"Five To One"

Yeah, c'mon
Love my girl
She lookin' good
One more

Five to one, baby
One in five
No one here gets out alive, now
You get yours, baby
I'll get mine
Gonna make it, baby
If we try

The old get old
And the young get stronger
May take a week
And it may take longer
They got the guns
But we got the numbers
Gonna win, yeah
We're takin' over
Come on!


Your ballroom days are over, baby
Night is drawing near
Shadows of the evening crawl across the years
Ya walk across the floor with a flower in your hand
Trying to tell me no one understands
Trade in your hours for a handful dimes
Gonna' make it, baby, in our prime

Come together one more time
Get together one more time
Get together one more time
Get together, aha
Get together one more time!
Get together one more time!
Get together one more time
Get together one more time
Get together, gotta, get together


Hey, c'mon, honey
You won't have along wait for me, baby
I'll be there in just a little while
You see, I gotta go out in this car with these people and...

Get together one more time
Get together one more time
Get together, got to
Get together, got to
Get together, got to
Take you up in my room and...
Love my girl
She lookin' good, lookin' real good
Love ya, c'mon

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:31 | 4646580 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

Why in the name of all that is righteous do you use Bing?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 06:53 | 4646664 unrulian
unrulian's picture

How old are you guys that think Blythe is hot?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 07:40 | 4646721 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Over 50

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:51 | 4646463 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture



"Masters is under investigation by federal prosecutors...'

Pffft!  Mere window-dressing for the masses.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 03:55 | 4646557 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

Banksteress "suicide" red alert!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:04 | 4646309 john39
john39's picture

bean her with a shoe.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:31 | 4646447 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

Is is wrong that I want to fuck Blythe Masters doggie style?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 05:25 | 4646600 olenumbersix
olenumbersix's picture

Hope she likes it ruff.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:00 | 4646172 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

She may end up as rotten as Hitlery on the inside but at least she won't be as ugly on the outside.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:27 | 4646243 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

She's English, so I'm guessing probably her teeth and a Royal fetish.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:21 | 4646497 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Bush or hardwood?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:19 | 4646574 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

Define "beautiful" dawg. In my book, Blythe Masters is beautiful like Lloyd Blankstein is handsome.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 06:32 | 4646640 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Three things: 1) Wrong species; 2) Tribal member; 3) Banksta

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:50 | 4646134 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

she'll probably get a "hard" spanking and then a "fine" ... after her book she should get Treasury Sec or SEC chief.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:58 | 4646162 Slave
Slave's picture

I bet you're already in line to give her that spanking.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:14 | 4646205 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

yup....... and she can call me daddy

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 17:51 | 4649209 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

She'll end up teaching Control Fraud 101 at university, like her buddy Fabulous Fab.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:45 | 4646120 philipat
philipat's picture


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:04 | 4646177 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Whose still paying for these "Fire Kathleen Sebelius" pop-ups?


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:32 | 4646069 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

She will probably be burried with a tonne of silver like some god foresaken princess pharaoh.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:06 | 4646180 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

I'm hoping her bodyguards are packing nail guns.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:33 | 4646070 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

With a name like Blythe, you just know her parents were the completely anal-retentive, elite-effete types, who harbored deep & twisted hatred towards each other, and engaged in all manner of moral & sexual depravity-bordering-on-brutality.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:38 | 4646086 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Dear, have you heard that the porno industry is infested with this AIDS problem. 

Yes, honey, I have. Pittty. 

Wanna go fuck a goat?  

Honey, goat night is tomorrow. 

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:40 | 4646101 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Or it just tells you she's British.  Which, come to think of it, suggests the rest.  Never mind.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 08:02 | 4646771 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

She's the next Corzine.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 09:07 | 4646979 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

You mean, she won't get jail time?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 17:54 | 4649216 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

What synoynm of "vaporized" will she use? 

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:55 | 4646138 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

Sebelius bailing, shoe-hurling at Hillary, Blythe under investigation--I must be dreaming.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:06 | 4646181 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

It's one of those nice dreams that turns into a nightmare.  You know, like that movie Very Bad Things.  A bunch of guys go to Vegas to gamble, snort a lot of coke and fuck hookers, then BAM!  You've got a dead hooker on your hands and a security guard who needs a corkscrew in the chest. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:05 | 4646203 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Blythe is like that the control freak corporate attorney, Karen Crowder, who orders hits on both George Clooney's character & his fellow attorney, Arthur Edens, in 'Michael Clayton.'

Film reflecting reality.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:17 | 4646346 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Great film. Great performances. Great directing.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:41 | 4646386 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Wow Tilda Swinton is a dead ringer for Blythe in that role.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:50 | 4646519 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Yep. In the upoming movie about the rise & fall of Blythe "The Big Fixer" Masters, Tilda Swinton is a shoe-in to play her.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:25 | 4646238 BandGap
BandGap's picture

See this for what it is. These people are going to "admit" to crimes or mistakes. These mistakes will be fixed or reversed.

How would you fix PM manipulations?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:02 | 4646304 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

By trying and executing every last one of 'em.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:33 | 4646581 spiral galaxy
spiral galaxy's picture

Obama impeached, Pelosi in an asylum and Reid captured by aliens -- a dream in the making! :-)

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:55 | 4646153 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

If she realizes that she was sold out by her former employer, it would be sweet if she released a statement, with supporting documents, on what is really going on at JPM.  I'm sure her suicide clock is ticking, so time is of the essence.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:25 | 4646359 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Stay off tall buildings.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:32 | 4646249 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:39 | 4646265 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Let them eat squid.   

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:30 | 4646367 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I hope she has a parachute back there that works off of tall buildings or she drives an old pickup with no chips in it like a new Mercedes.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:25 | 4646357 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I got a little something she can investigate.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:38 | 4646092 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

Market starting to tank - Sebelius resigns - Someone throws a shoe at Hitlery - Blythe Masters investigated

If Corzine turns himself in next, I'm having Christmas dinner early this year.


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:47 | 4646124 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Government has to pretend to clean up its act before the elections.

Cull the obvious liabilities and threats to the status quo.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:59 | 4646165 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I know a patent lawyer who says if they grant all your patent claims then you didn't ask for enough. For a bankster if you aren't being investigated then you're not pushing the limits hard enough. Investigation is not conviction and it's a badge of honor. All the reptilians love to tell stories about being investigated when they're at their clan fests.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:09 | 4646188 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Stories they can tell when they're sitting around a block of ice in hell.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:54 | 4646408 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

'Government has to pretend to clean up its act before the elections.'

'Elections', 'Selections'; whatever, dude. 

Terminology and correct dictum are key quantifiers.

In the CONUS, it's a foregone conclusion that it will be 'BILLARY' (HITLERY CLIT-TON) vs. 'JEB CLAMPETT' (BUSH THE THIRD), in '16. WATCH the RNC/DNC false left/right paradigm programming controllers and the FUNDING, for further eludication. DUH!


'Elections', 'Selections'; whatever, dude.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:18 | 4646438 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Put her in a 6x6 foot cell with Corzine and tell them only one will be out alive.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:14 | 4646432 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Bingo, it's one big side show

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:12 | 4646197 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

rut roh!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:35 | 4646508 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

If Corzine turns himself in next, I'm having Christmas dinner early this year.

Yep if he turns himself into fish food or fertilizer I'll do the same.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:39 | 4646095 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I woldn't say her head is ugly.

She's ugly ob the inside, where it really counts (no, not that part)


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:49 | 4646129 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

She would have been a better person if she had sold her body instead of her brain.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:53 | 4646143 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

or soul for that matter.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:57 | 4646157 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Then put her head on a pike and hang for all to see her pretty head.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 08:55 | 4646938 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

she has all the trappings of an attractive woman without actually being one

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:40 | 4646097 BrigstockBoy
BrigstockBoy's picture

Jamie Dimon recently said JPM had a tin ear for regulators. Is it that or just that the place is littered with psychopaths like Blythe Masters?

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:08 | 4646135 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

At what point do grown men ditch their boy names? 

Billy, Jamie, Kenny, Ronnie, Willy, Johnny...Barackie....Benny......Sue? 

If your last name is Idol, Joel, Hawkins, Nelson, Rogers, Cash, Mardones or Reagan, fine. 

James Dimon! There is a man! A man with a man's name for fuck sake. A pathetic piece of shit...but he is no boy.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:41 | 4646107 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Okay, she invented it. But really? Throw the chick under the bus? While these other pricks walk? Cause that's all you got?

Fuck you all.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:54 | 4646146 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

perhaps, but really, check out that lizard skin before gettin sucked in by the gender benders:

don't sleep, HillBilly's comin...with a high heel shoe.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:01 | 4646303 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

So much theater. It will hurt to watch it. I know it does not matter which puppet is there, but I guess if/when she gets in there I will know how Black folk with good consciences feel now. There are good people out there who could make a difference in office. We will never know of them (except maybe Ron).

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:15 | 4646210 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"Okay, she invented it. But really? Throw the chick under the bus? While these other pricks walk? Cause that's all you got?"


You got to admit she fucked a lot of shit up...

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:56 | 4646298 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

I admit it.

Women are so rare in this arena, I do have to laugh. She's the problem. It's just funny. If she hangs with lots of others, cool, I'll shut the fuck up. That is not what is being staged here.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:48 | 4646397 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Was talking to friend recently....all these women in positions of power all of a sudden, the Kirchners etc. included, in India, half the big banks are ruled by recently appointed women...

thailand with Sinawarta, Mynmar's MI6, Aang Sang... plant doing really well for them.... on and on...Sonia Gandhi in India....

Were they the set-uppers or the overseers of the flames?



Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:23 | 4646424 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture


I suspect Blythe is being offered up as an aperitif .. like you said tho .. plowed under as part of a field expedient fire break in an all too familiar way.  That fire break has no chance of holding with enumerable Paris sized portions enroute to dine upon as this supper theater of the absurd continues to unfold.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:33 | 4647643 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Love you babe. Glad to see you out there. Oldest skool. Love the Avatar, out on the edges, in the hinterlands, paradise beyond.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 09:34 | 4647074 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Throw the chick under the bus?"

Sometimes management isn't very creative, and they have to recycle ideas from other venues.  I wonder how many of her peers and superiors watched Margin Call and decided that she would make a good patsy - since it worked so well in the movie?  Maybe Blythe Masters is playing the part of Sarah Robertson?


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:46 | 4646117 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture
James Brown - It's a Man's World, Paris 1967

looks like Daddy Dimon sold you down the river, Lady B.

time to cum back to Papa...

(btw, i know u know i know u're reading this)


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:47 | 4646125 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

i hope she makes a youtube burning an obama t-shirt and rattling off all the shit she knows about pm manipulation before she hits the bricks.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:49 | 4646130 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Smells like nailgun spirit.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:37 | 4646452 seek
seek's picture

Seriously, she knows a lot of shit about the manipulations, including collaborators.

With a liability like her walking about and talking to regulators (if they're sincere), I can see why she'd have security.

(Good thing the regulators aren't sincere.)

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:52 | 4646139 infinity8
infinity8's picture


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:54 | 4646149 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

You Didn't Google That.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:53 | 4646141 Hungarian Pengos
Hungarian Pengos's picture

Time for her to head to Home Depot to pick up a pneumatic nailgun.  High capacity, assault-style, 30-nail clip.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:01 | 4646174 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

Make sure it has a black handle or it won't work.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:20 | 4646227 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture

I am having a new roof put on the house.  Those guys have these little "slap hammers."  They look a little a short handled fly swatter, but the end is very heavy.  They snack it against the tar paper.  Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  Every time it discharges a staple.

Being suicided with a nail gun exceeds cerdulity.  Now a slap hammer, just might fool the experts. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 09:36 | 4647086 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

Nothing in life scares me more than exceeded "cerdulity"!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:01 | 4646560 CuttingEdge
CuttingEdge's picture

Pneumatic? Please...

If you gonna tool up, do it properly.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:13 | 4646570 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Both of you should read "Brave New World" - to get a clue what "pneumatic" means!" (as in: "She is very pneumatic.")

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:54 | 4646147 booboo
booboo's picture

"In retrospect we can understand why the inventor of the Credit Default Swap would only dare go out in public with a couple of armed gorillas covering her back."

Turd Ferguson in a trench coat in the parlor with a silver monkey wrench.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 22:57 | 4646160 infinity8
infinity8's picture

LOLOLOLOL!! . . with the hat. thank's for the visual!

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:02 | 4646175 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Rest easy now stackers.  Blythe is being crucified.  It's the end of PM manipulation.  lol

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:48 | 4646285 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Exactly. Kabuki theater.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:26 | 4646361 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

I wouldn't mind seeing Blythe in a Bukakke theater right about now.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:11 | 4646187 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Mess with silver at your peril.  It truly is a disinfectant...slayer of demonic spirits...shiny...precious

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:11 | 4646195 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Somebody announce the time and the place for the party when she is tried, convicted and given 2 life sentences for the crimes she's committed in the PM market(s)...  If that happens it means Obama's been impeached and AG Holder is serving 4 life sentences for the crimes he's committed while serving in office along with Hitlery, and probably more than 2/3 of Congress and the Senate for similar terms in prison (hopefully death)...

I'll believe it when I see it.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:15 | 4646209 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

 You don't want to go there buddy...

Oh wait. You do. Nvm.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:17 | 4646218 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

You must be on LSD to imagine such fairy tales

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:51 | 4646290 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Our brother there is making the same righteous point you did above. Ain't real, ain't nothin.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:54 | 4646406 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture


But we still have time and choices.  Too bad we won't be the ones fixing it ,because if Washington starts the next one on our behalf which is more than likely the outcome you're going to need that LSD or morphine to get you through the days ahead if you survive it.

Me personally?

I'd much rather live with the worst Depression and have a picnic in downtown D.C. watching the Executive, Judicial and Legisilative swinging from the end of ropes than attempt to live through a worldwide holocaust that our government will create for us and the rest of the World simply because they didn't get there way with the only holdout countries left who don't have Western controlled banks in them and who desire a new beginning with stable currencies and markets outside of the Anglo-American sphere of destruction!

Decisions... Decisions...


Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:13 | 4646201 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

"Now why would one go to a diligence meeting with bodyguards"

Because she's executed her "indiscretions" with full awareness.

Now a stupid, sacrificial lamb; prosecutors owned by bigger rats, all being exposed, slowly but surely... still all for show, 'til it can't be.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:15 | 4646207 Shrapnel
Shrapnel's picture

Hope you die in a cage, cunt.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:15 | 4646208 ChanceIs
ChanceIs's picture


Max Keiser hasn't covered this yet.  Until he does, I am reserving comment.  But then again, it is about 5AM in the UK.

Wanna bet he introduces a new Blythe silver sheckle in her memory.  Maybe a Blythe crypto coin.  Or would that be a klepto coin?

We need Brooksley Born silver dollars.  That would be good.  Those Susan B. Anthony and Sacagawea were so Jimmy Carter and Bubba Clinton political correctness based concepts.  Better yet, let's have the Brooksley platinum or paladium $1 coin.  Somebody is making a big deal about how Putin controls all of the paladium.  David Morgan?  Marc Faber maybe?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:53 | 4646404 bardot63
bardot63's picture

Hey, I'd buy Blythe Masters Silver Commemoratives!  Blythe, Baby, get busy and start minting some rounds for us.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:16 | 4646211 X_mloclaM
X_mloclaM's picture


u didn't

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:17 | 4646213 royal
royal's picture

Blythe Masters isn't the problem...she's just a symptom of the disease of fiat money... as long as credit can be created out of thin air, there will always be huge amounts of market manipulation.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 04:03 | 4646562 grekko
grekko's picture

I agree, like the puss that leaks from a boil.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:17 | 4646219 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Lol   i remember previou blog posts about blythy and everyone sayin she was an ugly shrew  


I was the only one who consistently volunteered to fuck her, even before it was cool to claim a desire to have sexual relations with that woman    

At least you all are being a bit more honest lol.  Hell I woudnt even need beer goggles

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:09 | 4646325 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Her looks helped with her power. Silly not to acknowledge that. Smart. Deadly. At a great distance she is a hell of a character for a novel or dumb assed movie (The Vixen of Wall Street?). But not the only thief on Wall Street. Not the biggest.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:18 | 4646221 X_mloclaM
X_mloclaM's picture

no coincidence? the master of Blythe is a regional electricity distribution hub. Name change? Insdurz joke?

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:19 | 4646222 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Blythe needs to wash her face.  It's got BITCH written all over it. 

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:19 | 4646225 infinity8
infinity8's picture

Goo-bye, Yotch. See ya in hell.

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:22 | 4646231 Blood Spattered...
Blood Spattered Banner's picture

The criminality of Wall Street is there for all to see now.  Armed bodyguards at a fucking board meeting?  Bankers belly flopping off of asphalt?  WTF!



Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:31 | 4646233 kurt
kurt's picture

Fascist Queen Ant pumping her mucus covered eggs. Soldier ants wait ready to clip off heads: all they need is a whiff of stress hormones from her spirocettes.


Sign here,

                and here,

                                  and here.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:11 | 4646329 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 03:02 | 4646527 ebear
ebear's picture

"Fascist Queen Ant pumping her mucus covered eggs."

She mostly comes out at night.  Mostly.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 05:50 | 4646611 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

like Slurm! Now with electrolytes!

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:24 | 4646237 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

I heard Blythe Masters was stealing cattle at the Bundy Ranch in Nevada through a BLM play on agenda 21. lol

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:33 | 4646251 LongMarch
LongMarch's picture

Oh wow, she is sooo fucked, just like Jon Corzine./sarc

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:37 | 4646260 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

She can have her nails done at Zero Hedge Nails

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:45 | 4646391 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Boris couldn't possibly fit her in 'till next week.....

Thu, 04/10/2014 - 23:44 | 4646274 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

Am I dreaming?  First Catlean Shitbelis resigns and now this!  Man I wish I bought more booze to celebrate with tonight.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:06 | 4646307 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture

Jamie will throw Blythe baby under the bus at the first appropriate moment and then hold a press conference claiming the neither he nor any of the rest of the board had any idea what she and her team were up to.  She will then skate on some technicality.  All clearing the way for her to retire to the Hamptons next door to Jon Corzine.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:12 | 4646334 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Damn straight.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:11 | 4646332 Bernanke'sDaddy
Bernanke'sDaddy's picture

I do admit, the bitch is an attractive woman.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:50 | 4646401 bardot63
bardot63's picture

So, you did not see Banzai7's cute little screen saver recently of this drunken slag?  Get her a Hartz Mountain Flea Collar - the woman's a dog. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 08:22 | 4646822 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Said all of the men who hired her for a Fuck.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:12 | 4646335 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Funny thing, like at SAC, and as expected, she is not a 'tribe' member,

She should count herself lucky the are using an "investigation" instead of a nail-gun or 5th. floor "jump."


"The wife loves my guillotines adeptness with watermelons."

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:12 | 4646336 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Dumb broad thought she was part of the club.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:26 | 4646362 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

If I were her, I would stay away from nail guns and penthouses.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 08:21 | 4646758 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

...and shitgums.

She is just a fascist so will be protected. Holder is a sAd joke of a human. 

Long lizard food.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 00:55 | 4646410 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Would be nice if she could be arrested but the banksters have more on Holder than conspiracy theorists could even dream about. He may require something in return for considering the matter in a more judicial way.

I might be for a world oder if someone would let me in on it. I mean it would have to have a Swiss style of constitution and be run by referendum and open source software. And no politicians or supreme leaders could be a part of it.Banks and the militaries would be outlawed and bankers imprisoned. Twelve pyramids would have to be built to sacrifice, each month, anyone caught with over 10,000,000 dollars and so on. But I'd give it a look over and let them know if they were in line. I don't know why they won't tell me what they are doing.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 01:38 | 4646454 wisefool
wisefool's picture

I have been on other projects for a while now, but as I understand it, this person keep silver prices low for physical stackers, as a fient for the central banks who printed money from nothing? kinda sarc.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:15 | 4646489 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

Too bad she did not duck like this hag did.:


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:20 | 4646496 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

All right Blythe, on your knees and spread 'em!!!


Dirty bitch!!!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 02:25 | 4646499 stopthejunk1
stopthejunk1's picture

Whatever else she did wrong... she did +1 doable her body right.  That is one hot biatch.  I'd buy her a drink.


Oh and hey ALANIS, 

"This is somewhat ironic because it was none other than Zero Hedge which asked nearly a year ago if "JPMorgan's "Enron" Will Be The End Of Blythe Masters?" Suddenly, the answer appears to be yes."


....there's nothing ironic about it.  Please for fuck's sake differentiate irony from coincidence so we can all stop cringing.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!