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Obama Announces Kathleen Sebelius Resignation

Tyler Durden's picture


... Because the sheer success of Obamacare was too great for her to handle.


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Fri, 04/11/2014 - 10:59 | 4647459 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Spitterz r quitterz!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647474 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

What a fucking waste of time.

This is his legacy that will get chopped up and cost more $$$ to destroy.

Fuck him and the seabeast

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:04 | 4647489 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Moar vagina!!!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:30 | 4647622 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Obviously the answer is MORE GOVERNMENT!  Just kidding libtards/RINOs/Statists.  Your system built upon force, theft, and coercion will never last. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:30 | 4647857 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

More worthless Obama drama and inane antics, The Kommie Keystone Kops in full retard mode.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:32 | 4647634 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

It's amazing what you can achieve when you make something mandatory and fine people if they don't do it and keep extending the deadline for months. It's like a Cinderella story. - Jimmy Fallon

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:41 | 4647687 lordylord
lordylord's picture

The goal of the ACA and all other government efforts is consolidation of wealth and control to one central power.  From this perspective, government has been VERY successful over the last 100 years.  

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:56 | 4647736 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

This is the truth.   Screw if it "works", puts one more person on health insurance, pays on a medical bill.   Smoke and mirrors, they don't care, why should you?. 

The program was to move control of 1/6th of the economy under the thumb of D.C.   Mission accomplished bitches.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 10:59 | 4647462 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture
An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them onanother man and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work".   The German doctor says: "that's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work".
The Russian doctor says: "gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work".
The United States doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Five years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!"
Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:11 | 4647525 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:01 | 4647467 Bosch
Bosch's picture

I see three ugly bitches

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647478 RevRex
RevRex's picture

She's got a new position under Hillary Clinton......

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:09 | 4647515 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nobody should have to suffer that fate.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:13 | 4647536 Agent P
Agent P's picture

True, but 330,000,000 probably will. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:14 | 4647542 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

That image makes me want to tear my eyes out!!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:22 | 4647590 topshelfstuff
topshelfstuff's picture

I couldn't help but take notice, and many of you all may have also, it seems like an over abundance of women appearing in gov. positions ,,, in the State Dept., aside from Kerry, in all the televised press briefings, it was all women

I know very well that Males are and have been under attack, and any parent of a school age boy should know or research the feminization on US/UK Males. You can start by rsearching these:

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:31 | 4647631 Bryan
Bryan's picture

After the fem revolution of the 60s, men just said "F- it" and decided it was easier to drink beer and watch porn.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:32 | 4647640 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

Sacred Feminine - Look it up, it might just open your eyes a bit farther.

There be no shelter here


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:54 | 4647939 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Actually very much so. These people have counterfeited the sacred feminine, taking female virtues and perverted them until the women we're presented as role models look like men, talk like men, and exhibit the very worst qualities of men. Not to say a lady can't be a tomboy or a lesbian or whatever she wants, but when they parade a bunch of axe wounds around to promote mass murder, it's a gross perversion of the sacred feminine as well as general human virtue.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:01 | 4647763 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Isaiah 3: 12 As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:57 | 4647954 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Why do so many ZHers see through the economic and political shit but fail completely to see through the religion shit? Dude, this religious crap was constantly edited, reedited, rereedited, and reintepreted to fit whatever the ruling class needed from the proles that day. There's a reason the Bible tells slaves to obey their masters; there's a reason women are treated as property through the Old Testament. The Hebrew-Roman axis founded by Emperor Constantine was the O.G. New World Order.


The religion shit is a lie too man! I'm not saying there's no God, I'm saying a bunch of knuckle-dragging nomadic ape-men didn't have a monopoly on the divine presence in our universe.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 14:04 | 4648228 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

I've wondered that too, many times. How otherwise seemingly highly intelligent people are able to see through the lies and bullshit that permeate our society, yet still believe what the bible says. There is some magical sky fairy that hovers around occasionally granting wishes.... All in how you were raised I guess. Religion is like crack. Get them hooked early they are addicted for life. Religion is a means through which rich men send mostly poor men to die, by convincing them they are fighting for their idea of god. I have been to a couple catholic ceremonies, had to for my wife, mainly for her family, and that shit creeps me out big time. No child of mine will ever be left alone with a member of the catholic clergy. That being said, the religion of statism that has infected at least 95% of the population is much more dangerous than any other one in my opinion.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 15:08 | 4648546 SofaPapa
SofaPapa's picture

It's the same tendency in human nature that worships the state and that worships "big religion".  Following the herd is clearly a valid survival/breeding strategy, because the vast majority of humans work with the herd mentality.  And let's face it, the herd animal that tries to move against the group is going to get trampled 95% of the time.  Is it rational?  No.  Is it reality, absolutely.  Accept that humans have always had this tendency and that it is part of our collective DNA and the world we live in makes perfect sense.  Assuming the world is at some point in the future made unfit for human habitation through our actions, that destruction will be a direct consequence of this herd behavior.  Depressing, but logical.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 14:07 | 4648235 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

FYI - a lot changed with the new covenant...

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 18:16 | 4649292 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Or perhaps through some very real experiences some people have been able to confirm the truthfulness of some eternal principles.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:01 | 4647470 RacerX
RacerX's picture

so just who believes all this horseshit he's shoveling?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647476 superflex
superflex's picture

You'd be suprised how many people eat that shit up.

The FSA fo sho

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 13:19 | 4648038 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Who believes all this stuff from Obama? My Liberal friends do! One just recently told me that Obamacare, which he was very upset that it was being called Obamacare because somehow it was Bush's idea ( I kid you not on this bizarre twisted logic), was actually the best for us. And didn't Social Security and Medicare and all the other government programs have slow starts too? And they turned out fine and are working successfully today. I may criticize Obamacare now, but my Liberal friends say that it will work out great soon. And besides, Republicans hate children and Bush is an idiot. And most of all...

Because Obama!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:32 | 4647655 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Obama's hasn't accomplished a single thing on behalf of the American people and the US Constitution.  His list of accomplishments on behalf of the globalist bankers/corporations/social engineers/MIC/etc. is quite long. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647471 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Oh sweet Jesus how long is he going to blather on? 

Just get me the hell out of here, I have a plane to catch!"

Not enough notice to gather a wall of idiots behind him I guess.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647473 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Lies and spin. I'm so dizzy.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:02 | 4647477 wmbz
wmbz's picture

So Obozo replaces one pissed off progressive cunt with another one. Yea, that would be par for the course.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4647480 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

The Queen's hoe has gotz to go!


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:03 | 4647482 asteroids
asteroids's picture

The look on her face says "get me the fuck away from here".

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:03 | 4647483 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

out with the old , in with the old

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:09 | 4647514 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

What a great pick! This chick has a long record of campaigning and OMB show-up-to-work jobs. No health or science knowledge or background. Sounds perfect. It is not what you know but who you know in this crony facist system.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:55 | 4647945 XitSam
XitSam's picture

The players may have changed, but the song remains the same.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:03 | 4647484 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture

I'm surprised 0bama didn't give a "shout out" to her and then culminate the announcement with fist-bumping. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:06 | 4647485 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hey Zero. Knowing you enjoy the bath houses I'm sure that you and Reggie will be pleased with the fact that scientists can now grow you a vagina:

In Medical First, Scientists Implant Lab-Grown Vaginas in Humans

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:04 | 4647491 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

It is amazing how well dressed these clowns are.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:11 | 4647523 F em all but 6
F em all but 6's picture

Bread and circuses are best administered by clowns

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:52 | 4647723 Bryan
Bryan's picture

+1 for you, for teaching me what 'bread and circuses' means.  I have seen the phrase often, but didn't look it up until now.  It's quite apropos regarding the FSA especially.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:05 | 4647496 Ljoot
Ljoot's picture

Is falling on a sword covered by Obamacare?


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:05 | 4647498 centerline
centerline's picture

Damage control.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 14:55 | 4648472 codecode
codecode's picture

Mid-term elections...

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4647500 shermacman
shermacman's picture

Too bad Sebelius is resigning. As Cruella DeVille she was the perfect poster child for ØbamaKare.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4647502 Conman
Conman's picture

Where's the human props for the background?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:07 | 4647504 valley chick
valley chick's picture

WTF?!  Come in from tending to the farm critter to see spewing bs and a casino that is floating back up.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:08 | 4647507 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Is it me or is Zero looking a little Michael Jacksonish today?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:09 | 4647512 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

Hang her outside on a street lamp...thanks.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:10 | 4647517 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Retirement for a job well done... Hahahahah

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:10 | 4647518 starman
starman's picture

Shes got more balls then Obango!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:10 | 4647520 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

The Center for Medicare services has released how much it paid doctors in the year 2012. The big news is that one doctor in Florida made a lot of money:

Medicare paid a tinygroup of doctors $3 million or more apiece in 2012. One got nearly $21 million.


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:10 | 4647521 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Disengenuous, lying, see through, pencil necked cunt.

Lets see who faints and who he saves today the waste of fucking skin that he is.  Second hand car salesmen are more trust worthy and believable than this outright fucking idiot.

My old grandmother used to say, 'Never trust skinny politicians, they take drugs, and never trust a normal weight politician, as they are mainly cunts, and never ever trust fat politicians, as them swines are double claiming on their expense forms and eating the profits'.

The old girl was spot fucking on.

Moral of the story?  Sotero is a cuntish fuck, and trust your grannies words, they know these things you see.


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:16 | 4647549 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

My Granny never used the word cunt. Dickgrinder...yes...but cunt...never. 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:24 | 4647598 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Grande Tetons,

Your granny wasnt from Newcastle-Upon-Tyne was she?

Mine did, in every other sentence, sweet old bugger what she was, especially about my father for some reason.


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:13 | 4647534 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Is it cuz they like my gangsta walk?

Is it cuz they like my gangsta talk?

Is it cuz they like my gangsta face?

Is it cuz they like my gangsta ways?

Whatever it is, they love it
And they just won't let me be
I handles my biz, don't rush me
Just relax and let me be free
Whenever I call (I call), come running.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:13 | 4647539 Duc888
Duc888's picture



"Is it me or is Zero looking a little Michael Jacksonish today?"


A case of the slims will do that to ya.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:14 | 4647543 mattgallis
mattgallis's picture


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:56 | 4647951 fishmonger
fishmonger's picture

Quit being a fag...

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:15 | 4647546 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I hope she dies of gonorrhea and rots in hell.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:11 | 4647795 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Noble sentiments but I just can imagine how she would contract it in the usual way. But I guess men's standards have lowered in recent years.

Oh, and FYI,since we are on the topic of GC, I must warn all I have never in my life seen the amount of GC and Chlam out there today. Used to see 2-3 cases of double infections a year. Now at least one a week. Two men were hospitalized with GC recently. One with knee and eye infections and the other had a bowel obstruction and nearly lost a testicle. We naturally see lots of STDs being a military town but it's at levels we've never seen and I don't know where it's coming from. What I read, this is a national trend.


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 21:14 | 4649764 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

1. Cover your stump before you hump.

2. Before you attack her, wrap your wanker.

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.

4. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.

6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you go into heat, package your meat.

13. While you're undressing venus, dress up that penis.

14. When you take of her pants and blouse, be sure to suit up your trouser mouse.

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

18. The right selection! Protect your erection.

19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

20. A crank with armor will never harm her.

21. If yo really love her, wear a cover.

22. Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.

23. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.

24. If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.

25. No glove? No love.

26. Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.

27. AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.

28. Even though you're tired and sleepy, take the time to wrap your pee-pee.

29. Before getting drastic, wrap it in plastic.

30. Before getting laid, wrap up your spade.

31. Bodies shouldn't go slapping unless peter's got his wrapping.

32. Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.

33. You could get a germ if you don't cover your worm.

34. You might wind up dead if you don't shield your head.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:17 | 4647554 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

       Sebelius looks like Skeletor in a dress. I guess that's fitting being that she's speaking from Castle Numbskull...

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:19 | 4647567 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

In all seriousness, everyone really needs to stop feeding this megalomaniac's ego by calling it 'Obamacare' and start referring to it by its proper name, 'The Affordable Care Tax Act'. It IS a tax, pure and simple.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:40 | 4647681 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Nah, The FSA doesn't pay taxes so they can't relate to it, but they will get shitty healthcare and Obamacare will remind them.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:19 | 4647569 SmilinJoeFizzion
SmilinJoeFizzion's picture

Her head is shovel ready

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:20 | 4647570 Agent P
Agent P's picture
"Obama Announces Kathleen Sebelius Resignation"

That title is too long.  It should be shortened by dropping two words.... 

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:21 | 4647581 22winmag
22winmag's picture

You can put lipstick on a pig... but it's still a pig.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:25 | 4647599 intric8
intric8's picture

She is? Thank heavens. She could use a good hair dye appt, and while she's at it, a new hairsyle, maybe a facial (or two), and then take a vacation. I hear Thai land is a great sex destination for women too, hey, nothing like getting laid in an exotic foreign destination to take your mind off the rigors of imposing a sham socialized medicine regime on 300 million people who now recognize it as the crock of shit it really is. She might as well take two Thai guys at once, no?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 13:20 | 4647600 intric8
intric8's picture


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:27 | 4647610 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Dang It! She just left ... an' I already miss her :(

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:30 | 4647628 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

And now she'll move on to lobbying for United Healthcare or some such, making $100 million a year.  Not a bad deal for fucking up a web page and helping destroy the American healthcare system.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 11:50 | 4647715 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Sebelius had to take the heat for a clumsy healthcare rollout and dreadful Congressional hearing. Next to go is Victoria Nuland for starting Ukraine fiasco, handing over Crimea to Putin and using profanity in discussing EU.
In fact, Nuland should have preceded Sebelius in being fired. Maybe after Europe freezes will Obama understand extent of damage Nuland has caused.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 19:13 | 4649436 Bazza McKenzie
Bazza McKenzie's picture

Why would you imagine that Obama would regard Europe freezing as damage instead of a job well done?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:05 | 4647776 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Globalist traitors be gone.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:13 | 4647800 22winmag
22winmag's picture

What a shit parade. It's already little more than applause, back slapping, butt-licking, and mutual masturbation.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:18 | 4647813 ReactionToClose...
ReactionToClosedMinds's picture

when will AG Holder resign?

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:28 | 4647853 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture


suck one, you ugly cunt!

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 12:59 | 4647966 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

a sad day indeed.

gentlemen and ladies a moment of silence please.

Kathleen Sebelius

was not pulled

this was not a controlled demolition .

just a burp of lower intestinal wind


Fri, 04/11/2014 - 14:08 | 4648242 PubliusTacitus
PubliusTacitus's picture

Feel free to print up a bunch of targets with her face on it.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 15:12 | 4648572 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

What about software company that screwed up entire system ? Head of that company an old college buddy of Obama and he survives, thrives and will contribute lots to Obama Library.

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 16:22 | 4648881 EL SCRIPTO
EL SCRIPTO's picture

Noticed the K-Seb looked like she is now permanently bent over - probably from taking it so many times from Obumster...

Fri, 04/11/2014 - 20:21 | 4649606 NoelConfidence
NoelConfidence's picture

U.S. Government, where the incompetent go to mingle.

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