• Knave Dave
    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

Monday Humor: So You Want To Be A Trader...

Tyler Durden's picture


Months of BTFD momo mentality lost in days... so we thought this was appropriate



Source: TradingMemes

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Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:42 | 4658408 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Clever .. not funny ...but clever

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:46 | 4658431 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Too much Truthiness.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:07 | 4658474 cifo
cifo's picture

I completely agree.

I would also add a few crevices on the flat surface.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:26 | 4658521 Four chan
Four chan's picture

great view from the noose.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 19:06 | 4658646 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

Had to do a double take because of the source joke. Agreed.

Funny how nobody is talking about the Cattle futures & OJ futures making historic (inflation adjusted) highs. No way can that be healthy for retail margins.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 19:10 | 4658660 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Soon Amazon will be the only retailer,

  and Bezos will still lose money.  WTF?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 19:28 | 4658718 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

rideit till you die!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:59 | 4659046 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

only in real life, there is no highsec

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:53 | 4658453 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

I thought it was the IPO market...

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:43 | 4658413 NoPantsSpongeBob
NoPantsSpongeBob's picture

Painfully true.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:44 | 4658418 jefferson32
jefferson32's picture

Great, but the 3 coloured lines need to be consistently above the black one (otherwise don't change a thing, it's very funny thank you :) )

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:47 | 4658419 db51
db51's picture

hmmmm...I don't see any Goldman or JP Morgan Types in that Graphic?   Must have accidently trimmed that part....where they're sitting around popping Champagne, fist bumping and high fiving each other.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:41 | 4658564 Blano
Blano's picture

They don't lose money trading silly, that's why they're not on there.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 19:35 | 4658745 vie
vie's picture

I thought they were well represented by the bulldozer.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:02 | 4659570 mkkby
mkkby's picture

They don't trade, they steal.  Al Capone's numbers raquet wasn't gambling either.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:45 | 4658421 Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

Where is a nail gun on this chart?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:06 | 4659577 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Look at all those muppets being bulldozed to their graves.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:46 | 4658430 holmes
holmes's picture

Gartman's still on the x/y axis.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:49 | 4658436 incalculable captcha
incalculable captcha's picture

Hey you finance people are supposed to be good with charts... at least label the axes correctly.

X axis should be Skill.

Y axis should be Time.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:49 | 4658437 atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

So if I become a trader I can go back in time?  Cool!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:21 | 4658503 reload
reload's picture

Your net worth can, and it will.

But you will get older fast, learning and re learning how to be disciplined enough to stop those reversions from becoming career enders.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:50 | 4658443 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Van Halen - Diver Down - Little Guitars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_-ytH0JMZg (3:47)

Van Halen - Diver Down - Where Have All The Good Times Gone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke3ua0kLhYA (3:02)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:55 | 4658454 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know


Mon, 04/14/2014 - 23:57 | 4659562 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Van Halen, butchering another perfectly great Kinks song....

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:50 | 4658444 besnook
besnook's picture

you are not a trader unless you have cheated death a few times or have died several times and come back from the dead as a zombie trader. the eyes give us away.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:59 | 4658628 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

When you start noticing how often an ambulance is parked in front of your office building you realize there's something deeply wrong going on around you ...

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:52 | 4658447 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm long the crony 3X levered short Bureaucrat-Statist ETF.

(Bull Shit for short...lol)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:02 | 4658468 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

That's great, nmewn,

  but I'm trying to figure out who I can tell that to who will understand it;)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:19 | 4658504 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats the problem ain't it?

Just like Goldman Sux, the government has its tentacles in everything now...from food, to tech, energy, autos...you name it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 19:29 | 4658721 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Let's pitch it to knucks as a real ETF. 

He might do a master piece of a rant before he realizes we're just drunk;)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:38 | 4658992 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...he's much better at than I.

Him and stooging, I can't contort myself like those two.

But I'm trying ;-)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 17:53 | 4658452 Spungo
Spungo's picture

According to that graph, trading is the easiest job while social work is the hardest job. With very minimal time spent, the trading skill goes parabolic. Social work is mostly flat, showing only marginal gains in skill as large amounts of time are spent learning it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:06 | 4658473 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

For proof, just look at "Community Organizer"......

OK, nevermind.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:04 | 4658471 ronron
ronron's picture

start high, stay high. then buy a nail gun.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:16 | 4658492 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

See mom, trading IS a profession, it says so in the chart!  So stop asking me when I am going to get a real job.  

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:22 | 4658513 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   I already said the equity market charts looked like the Matterhorn at least 6 months ago.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:26 | 4658525 dirtyfiles
dirtyfiles's picture

I like the parabolic/vertical trading chart with the blow of the top hook..after which there is no way but go down I'm afraid with same down momentum

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:34 | 4658544 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

Maybe it is better to laugh all the way back to the gas chambers.:



Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:39 | 4658555 booboo
booboo's picture

Now can we show the learning curve of a entrepreneur, at least the fuck ups are on his nickle.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 18:48 | 4658592 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

Sure this is the majority of daytraders - but it doesn't mean that those who follow the market's signals can't be successful.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:21 | 4658926 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

I remember that graph. It's funnier in the original context of the learning curve for popular MMORPGS from 2008, with Eve being the top one.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/23579228@N04/2335016192/ Man I am getting old.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 04:48 | 4659836 Bankstein Swiss...
Bankstein Swissgoldberg's picture

+1000 - cheater spotted!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:37 | 4659169 Notsobadwlad
Notsobadwlad's picture

That's only because to be successful, not only fo you have to be able to recognize the fraud, but be complicit in it.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 09:33 | 4660385 whisp
whisp's picture

Stolen picture. Originally, this is learning curve of EVE Online.  Red blue and green lines does not belong there.

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