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Sixth Phone Conversation: Obama Warns Putin "Costs" Will Increase; Kremlin Tells Obama To "Prevent Bloodshed"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A few hours ago, Obama and Putin held their sixth phone conversation since the fate of Ukraine rekindled the second cold war. As usual, much was said, the generic talking points were uttered, and nothing was resolved nor will anything change.

First, here is the White House repeating, literally for the sixth time, the "costs" line:

Readout of the President’s Call with President Putin

 

At Moscow’s request, President Obama spoke with Russian President Putin today about the situation in Ukraine.  The President expressed grave concern about Russian government support for the actions of armed, pro-Russian separatists who threaten to undermine and destabilize the government of Ukraine.  The President emphasized that all irregular forces in the country need to lay down their arms, and he urged President Putin to use his influence with these armed, pro-Russian groups to convince them to depart the buildings they have seized.  The President reiterated the importance of Russia withdrawing its troops from Ukraine’s border in order to defuse tensions.  President Obama noted that despite the rhetoric from Russian officials, the government of Ukraine has acted with remarkable restraint, and he praised the Ukrainian government’s efforts to unify the country by holding free and fair presidential elections on May 25, pursuing inclusive constitutional reform and proposing concrete steps toward the decentralization of power.  The President noted Russia’s growing political and economic isolation as a result of its actions in Ukraine and made clear that the costs Russia already has incurred will increase if those actions persist.  The President noted the upcoming contact group meeting in Geneva and said that while he continues to believe that a diplomatic solution is still possible, it cannot succeed in an environment of Russian military intimidation on Ukraine’s borders, armed provocation within Ukraine, and escalatory rhetoric by Kremlin officials.

And from the perspective of the Kremlin:

Vladimir Putin had a telephone conversation with President of the United States of America Barack Obama.

 

The leaders discussed various aspects of the crisis in Ukraine, first and foremost in the southeastern regions engulfed by mass protests against the policies of the current authorities in Kiev.

 

The Russian side stressed that the protests in Donetsk, Lugansk, Kharkov, Slavyansk and other cities in southeastern Ukraine are the result of the Kiev authorities’ unwillingness and inability to take into account the interests of the Russian and Russian-speaking population. Vladimir Putin called upon Barack Obama to use the American side’s capabilities to prevent the use of force and bloodshed.

 

In response to the US President’s expressed concern about Russia’s alleged interference in southeastern Ukraine, the President of Russia noted that such speculations are based on inaccurate information. The current Ukrainian authorities must think first and foremost about truly involving all the main political forces and regions in a transparent process for developing a new constitution that guarantees the main rights and freedoms for citizens, the nation’s federal structure and its non-aligned status.

 

The two sides agreed to continue efforts to seek diplomatic cooperation in the context of the Ukrainian situation ahead of the four-party meeting (EU, Russia, US and Ukraine) scheduled to take place in Geneva on April 17.

Meanwhile, East Ukraine is preparing for a full-blown military operation.

In lieu of an actual updated photo op, here is the stock footage from the first such conversation. It will do the job since it could as easily have been taken in Hollywood.

 

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Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:04 | 4658867 maskone909
maskone909's picture

There was no phone call. This is a joke. I mean its obvious we have mercs over there starting shit. How could there be any "discussion" under that pretext?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:09 | 4658885 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

We have mercs starting shit HERE for fucks sake.

"I will have more flexibilty after the election."

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:12 | 4658891 maskone909
maskone909's picture

BREAKING
CNN FLIGHT 370 discussion shifts towards maritime lubricants

Cant make this up
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:17 | 4658915 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Isn't that desk the one with the secret compartment containing a map that tells Nicolas Cage where the treasure is?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:24 | 4658939 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Barry draws another Pink Line and this time he means it!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658950 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Relax Tyler.  Bath House is on this like stink on a monkey.

That was not a Moochelle joke.

OK, maybe it was;)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:28 | 4658961 pods
pods's picture

"Let me be clear."

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, <cough cough, snort, deep breath>, sorry, you were saying?"

pods

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:36 | 4658987 knukles
knukles's picture

Ring ring (phone in Putin’s office)

 

Vlad:  Hullo?
Barack:  Good evening, Vlad, this is Barack Obama, President of the United States.
Vlad:  Oh yeah.  So’d they find your Kenyan birth certificate for you yet?  No?  Perhaps the original in the possession of the KGB could be of use to you.
Barack:  What?!?!?!?  I uh.  Vladimir Vladimirovich, perhaps (interrupted)
V:  Valdmirovich?  I do not remember acceding to familiar terms with you Mr Sowhato.
Barack:  V (choking sound) lahd  I uh …
V:  Trouble swallowing?  Sounds like a man under duress.  I do not mean to place you under duress, Barack Obama, President of the United States.  How may I help you tonight?

B:  Well, listen, we all must get along and remain civil and uh  ummm I ah
V:  Civil?
B:  Yes, civil
V:   Crimea River.  That is funny, no?  I get joke from ZeroHedge!  LOL

 

(dial tone)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4659049 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

LOL!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:03 | 4659059 max2205
max2205's picture

Costs? Is he fucking retarded?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:35 | 4659161 napper
napper's picture

Yes, he is. People with brains don't get to live in the White House. It's hard for the shadow powers to control an intelligent, educated and independently minded president. You don't want to do Warren Commission style cover-ups too often.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:38 | 4659176 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

The costs are rising.

Oil is now $104. 

The costs are rising, but not for Russia.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:46 | 4659207 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"Oil is now $104."

A dangerous indicator that something bad is going to happen soon.

Why do they ramp up the oil prices just before this wickedness happens?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:55 | 4659233 StupidEarthlings
StupidEarthlings's picture

Wasnt it like 150 during the 08 crisis?..

I think we got a little time here fellas.

 

Tho it may be hard for most to believe,  not EVERY ZH article means the end is here.

 

You know how many buckets of popcorn I've wasted since I joined this site?..

 

Sheesh. 

 

 

 

Just playin..now..wheres my popcorn..this is gettin good. ;)

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:10 | 4659584 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Putin: "You again... Fuck Off little worm! Go back to organizing your little community... this is the REAL world!"

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:36 | 4660124 sleigher
sleigher's picture

All part of the plan.

 

1.  Control all resources

2.  Start a war

3.  ???

4.  Profit

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:44 | 4659197 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

After realizing the puppet points were not discused as ordered to do, Barakh calls Vladimir Putin right back.

 

Ring ring....ring ring.

 

Vlad: Ya, what you want now?

Barakh: Forgot to tell you, we will be stirring up the usual antagonistic sordid al-cia-duh trouble making as the master banksters have ordered us to do to cover up the crash of the dollar. Did you get the memo?

Vlad: Dah, of course we did. We will accept your tit, for our tat, and then later stir the pot some more to scaremonger the world into not noticing our masters clever plan to crash all economies and countries for ze new world order. Did you get your check?

Barakh: Yes dear, but it was a few billion short. Dammed banksters ripping us all off, but what's a poor puppet to do?

Vlad: Not to worry, it will all be worthless soon and the world chaos of all the false flag events will keep everyone occupied and in fear. Go ahead with your plans to create more havoc. We will of course respond accordingly as planned.

Barakh: OK, sounds good. All according to ze plans of our master banksters.

Vlad: Dah. Now leave us alone and go back to the masters cage that we all live in.

 

(Click)

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:37 | 4658988 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Does anyone else find it extremely weird that  everytime Obama talks to Putin he always wears the same clothing.  I think the mother fucker is a psychopth.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 20:32 | 4663522 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

Prolly a color occult thing.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:41 | 4658975 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Its all rigged up boys...

.

but you know - we'll try to 'vote them out' for the 9,453,813,420th time in the next election and then will wonder why many full moons later, how can the common man lose that many 'coin flips' in a row?! Its impossible unless its rigged.

 

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:50 | 4660176 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Write-in candidate: Donald Duck

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4658962 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Under President Barry (and most of the presidents before him), the government of the United States sticks its nose into the affairs of every country on the planet and then whines like a little bitch when everything goes to shit. Detroit looks like fucking Dresden after the firebombing, but we still think we have the ability to "make the world a better place."

It would be funny if people weren't dying, Barry, you big fucktard.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:47 | 4659014 knukles
knukles's picture

Hold the Fuck On!
Don't belittle the man because of Detroit.
He organized the South Side of Chicago!

maniacal laughter

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:04 | 4659061 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

You're just jealous of his Nobel Peace Prize, MM.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:31 | 4658972 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Do you mean a Pinkman line?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:40 | 4659184 perchprism
perchprism's picture

 

No, he mean that Obama was going to draw and snort another pink line----Pink Peruvian flake, that is.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:50 | 4659025 sushi
sushi's picture

The Scots are very likely to vote for independence from England. How come Obummer is not getting Putin to accept the costs associated with the breakup of the UK? And it is well known that polite little green men have been operating in Ireland for years now. Why is Putin allowed to get away with these atrocities?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:54 | 4659229 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Latst polls say Scots will reject independence from the UK.

Where is your data from?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:24 | 4659313 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Scots will reject independence. The old Irish saying may fit "Better the devil you know than the one you don't." People are set in their ways, and Scotland has a large non Scots population in the cities, these will stick with the English Welfare State that feeds most of them. Sadly!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:01 | 4659652 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Cities are the root of all evil.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:45 | 4659003 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Maritime lubricants might reference what CNN is using to grease up the sheep every night.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:49 | 4659020 knukles
knukles's picture

CNN (Certainly Not News) Malay 370/24/7/365

Anybody but me find it humorous thinking that 370 just might have been spirited away for a distraction during these troubled times?  And that was before Bundy Ranch.

Oh boy!  It's all shits and grins, Giggles amok.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:12 | 4659082 KickIce
KickIce's picture

It's either a distraction and/or the Chinese stole some brand new tech.  But yeah, this admin seems to be in need of a distraction on a daily basis and 370 has been in the news for what, 3 weeks now?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:28 | 4659329 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

CNN has been banging away on this fucking plane for ever. I check when I get home to see if they say anything about Ukraine, 99% of coverage is the Plane. What really gets me, as a former Navy Sonar Petty Officer, is WHY, when the pinger was active and they had some ideas where it might be, a few Nuclear subs running silent and using the massive hydrophone array didn't simply make a few slow passes. Fuck! I can't tell you what a subs sonar can hear, but in truth you wouldn't believe me if I did. I don't get it, the Navy has no enemy, so why not run a few boats down there to listen. I never heard a word about that simple and most efficient expedient.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:43 | 4659630 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Because then the US would have to answer for why they can read your kindle fire over your shoulder, but couldn't find a 777 on this blue marble.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:48 | 4659637 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

No need for a search when you know where the plane is hangared.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 04:10 | 4659807 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Ok Jack you can tell us you are out of the navy for quite a few years now, so tell us what they can hear.......?

Im calling it ZH freedom of Zinformation

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:45 | 4660158 gallistic
gallistic's picture

"Hey captain, I got something!"

Is it the plane?

"Er, uh... never mind, false alarm; it's just a couple of Lobsters duking it out"

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:41 | 4660143 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Bundy ranch, 5-16-2014.  Ya think maybe?  

Will be a convenient time while all the "patriots" are in D.C. marching.

Hagman and Hagman certainly think so.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:17 | 4658917 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

you can, but they'll use it

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:34 | 4658980 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

the same narrative for this story seems to fit anything today.

 

At Clark County's request, President Obama spoke with Rancher Cliven Bundy today about the situation in Nevada.  The President expressed grave concern about civilian support for the actions of armed, pro-constitutional americans who threaten to undermine and destabilize the bureau of land management.  The President emphasized that all irregular forces in the county need to lay down their arms, and he urged Bundy to use his influence with these armed, non sheeple to convince them to depart the land they have been using.  The President reiterated the importance of Bundy withdrawing his supporters from the BLM's border in order to defuse tensions.  President Obama reitered they are free to stand in the 3x3 space they have designated the "first amendment area" located 4 miles away to express their grievances to no one.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:51 | 4659026 knukles
knukles's picture

No.
You gotta be shitting me, fonz.

Don't fuck with me like this.
I told you staying around here too long would fry your brain.
I ah...

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:38 | 4659171 Hulk
Hulk's picture

As an NSA Spook, I can verify everything fonz has written and in fact, I listened to the conversation in real time !!!

Bitchez !!!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:55 | 4659035 sushi
sushi's picture

How do we know those upset "irregular forces" are not Ukrainians? The Mexicans seem to get into the country with no problem. What are the chances that US unrest is being fostered by a 5th column of pissed off Ukrainians? Putin should pay the costs for this, for global warming, for the California drought and wildfires, and all the rest of it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:19 | 4659113 KickIce
KickIce's picture

3x3 space aka the drone targeting area.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:28 | 4659140 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Real conversation

Barry- Hi Vlad- How about that Masters Tournament?

Vlad- Did you let Reggie get another hole in one?

Barry- Vlad, you have to give me a little something so I look good

Vlad- Tell that Reggie to give you a little something. I have nothing for you

Barry- Come on Vlad, I need to get my groove on

Vlad- You are a functional idiot. Go fuck yourself. 

 

MSM press release- Obama warns Putin sternly

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:21 | 4658907 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

The administration talks peaceful solutions, but telegraphs preperations for war:

http://www.novinite.com/articles/159784/France

http://www.interfax.com/newsinf.asp?id=496459

US, France, Turkey...smells like NATO to me.

That was just from a quick google search.  How many more allies are sending ships?

The board is being set.

More flexible is right. 

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:51 | 4659027 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Foolish French, sending an anti-submarine destroyer into the Black Sea when all the Russian subs are already sitting off the coast of Virginia and California.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:06 | 4659579 stant
stant's picture

Putin get of my lawn mother fuker

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:27 | 4658958 tempo
tempo's picture

Why are we paying the Ukrainians gas bill????

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:47 | 4659015 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

File on time, serfs!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:01 | 4659052 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

because if NATO does not, then we will clearly violate Budapest. Also by defaulting on a loan, it gives the bagholder the right to compensation. If the Ukraine owes 1 billion in assets, Vlad can simply say I value all of East Ukraine at 0.001/acre and I will take whatever assets are up to this line in the sand, where I deem "1 billion in value" is made whole, regardless on what the true book value of the Oblast is insured for as a nation + corporate assets.

1 billion, vs. a war which neither Germany or the USA are capable of fighting at this stage due to base closures is a necessary strategy. Anything that delays the war/split until May 25th is a good thing.

Ah well, sooner or later the world will tire of US 'exceptionalism'. When the world aligned with Putin decides they have enough critical mass to rebuild the soviet PACT rest assured the "gold for oil/rare metals" will likely come true. As the trade barriers blow through the Doha round rachets, we will likely see a deep recession and collapse in earnings the tech rare metal consumers and retail oil consuming subsectors. At this time, even the most tender goldbug will see basic living costs blow out like the Iran crisis oil shock on steroids. If Argentina and Brazil are anything to go by, the collapse in logistics chains will drain even the largest gold stashes in short order. If that panic does not finish off the USA, the predatory asset purchasing by the oligarchs will.

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:13 | 4659276 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Very great receipe prediction Ratatouille

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:22 | 4659117 deus x machina
deus x machina's picture

the actual conversation between obama and putie.  

 

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1.0-9/q71/s720x720/160...

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:26 | 4660075 snodgrass
snodgrass's picture

Yo'mama is just ordering Pizza. None of you really think he's the one calling the shots do you? He's too busy golfing and spending time in gay bathhouses.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:04 | 4658868 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Telling Obama to stop bloodshed is like asking a vampire to switch to grape juice.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:32 | 4658963 813kml
813kml's picture

Someone needs to give US gov some TruBlood and stop this insanity.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:02 | 4659051 franzpick
franzpick's picture

GoBomb'em and OutYell'um are arguing tonight: he has ordered 20 drones sent for the Kiev krackdown, and she wants to send 100 helicopter$.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:04 | 4658870 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

And when all is said and done, it was another photo op for Obama and Putin will continue to control all of Europe and collapse the US dollar!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:11 | 4658890 Osmium
Osmium's picture

Costs will increase?  Whose costs?  We just spent a billion dollars paying the gas bill for Ukraine.  Seems to me the US is the country paying a cost for all this.  WTF

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:16 | 4658905 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

You only read the headlines.

That was only a photo op.  All that was provided was $1 Billion in "loan guarantees".  No money flowed.  And no money is going to flow, because it goes right to GAZPROM now that they won't send gas without advance payment.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:00 | 4659648 dogismycopilot
dogismycopilot's picture

i think what happens is the IMF picks up the tab and US cuts check to IMF. that way everyone can take a slice along the way.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:18 | 4658921 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Another billion dollars China will never get back...

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:00 | 4659246 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

Farking dollars rolling out to everyone in the world but Americans, like diarrhea out a gooses arse.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:22 | 4658930 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

But he looks so good working so hard for us in the Oval Office doing diplomacy for freedom throughout the world! God Bless America!

Kinda gives new meaning to the founding father's warning to stay away from foreign entanglements.

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:23 | 4658937 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The U.S. taxpayers are paying back bankers by paying the gas bill.  That's what we do.  We work to pay bankers to let us work, or we give up and accept EBT cards until those stop working, or we violate some law in the millions of pages of code and go to jail.  Those are the options.  

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:32 | 4659152 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

yeah, pretty much. i mean sure...we're producing more energy than we ever have in our history. But we're also paying more for that energy than we ever have before too.

Hmmmm.
"And Putin calls the USA" to say...

"hello, these are your friends from Wall Street"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:02 | 4659251 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"The U.S. taxpayers are paying back bankers by paying the gas bill.  That's what we do.  We work to pay bankers to let us work, or we give up and accept EBT cards until those stop working, or we violate some law in the millions of pages of code and go to jail.  Those are the options."

And they call it, UTOPIA!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:14 | 4658899 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

One does wonder where the diesel and gasoline is going to come from to power Ukraine forces.  There is no western source of influx.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:15 | 4658903 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Putin must be very tired of these worthless conversations with someone who is clearly his inferior.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:07 | 4659068 max2205
max2205's picture

Nah, he has a mini me to do all his phone talking

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:30 | 4659144 napper
napper's picture

tired? nah, I know I'd have enjoyed smashing an amateurish US/NATO plot in Ukraine and then talk about it with the figurehead of the losing party on the phone.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:10 | 4659659 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Ever listen to Obama off-teleprompter?

Frightening. He makes Dubya sound like Churchill.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:15 | 4658904 One And Only
One And Only's picture

The SIXTH phone call?

What the FUCK is this shit? Lets get the tanks rolling for Christ sakes. We need to stimulate this economy so we can turn off the economic random number generator.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:19 | 4658922 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Why would Russia want tanks to roll?  They are collecting 10.5 million barrels X $109 Brent/barrel =

$1.1 Billion drained from their enemies every day.

Why would you want to engage the military when you are destroying the enemy with his own cooperation?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:22 | 4658932 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Two games being played chess v. dress-up.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:48 | 4659214 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

BTW those numbers are only oil.  Nat Gas is extra.

These Ruskies are taking $500 billion/year from their enemies, and they ship them something the enemies burn immediately, requiring more next year and next year and next year.

You will finally pay attention to this when word emerges that Paris is shipping domestic help to Moscow the way the Philippines ships people to Saudi Arabia.  When the French are cleaning Russian toilets, because the Russians would not take Euros anymore and demanded something of value (labor, or food, certainly not gold), then you will realize what oil scarcity has done to world power.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:11 | 4659271 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"Why would you want to engage the military when you are destroying the enemy with his own cooperation?"

Was it Khrushchev that said, I will bury you, while pounding his shoe on the podium?

That's working out pretty well so far, eh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm0yQg1hS_w

 

 

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:19 | 4658908 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

Why do I feel like we are witnessing the whirlwind on the horizon?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:17 | 4658911 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Funny.  Sad, but funny.

Obama versus Kasparov.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658952 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

Karpov vs Kasparov -- now THAT was a fair match.  This scenario may as well be Kasparov vs Mariah Carey.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:18 | 4658920 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Release the Wookie (Mochelle).

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:24 | 4658943 sondernauch
sondernauch's picture

I wonder what Obanana's puppeteers are doing. 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:13 | 4659275 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"I wonder what Obanana's puppeteers are doing."

Digging in deep!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:17 | 4659290 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

They dont care they know the game in the USA will be up eventually, they have been suppressing gold and silver and stocking up like crazy, the gold is in Switzerland or Israel, when need be they will either exit to these countries or they will get their Russian citizenships by paying for them with gold.  Their life will still be grand in their new Crimean Villas instead of the Hamptons.  They have no allegiance to the USA.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658947 rlouis
rlouis's picture

A deciding factor in determining who's whose bitch:

Who b payin the gas bill for Ukraine, bitch?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658948 Dr. Venkman
Dr. Venkman's picture

Other than this picture of Obama ordering pizza, is there any evidence that these two clowns actually spoke? I assume they just provided the other side with the post-"TC" press release for comment and editing.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658951 TammanyBrawl
TammanyBrawl's picture

Safe to say I'm not a fan of the current President or his administration, but even I feel for this guy. When you've got nothing- no leverage, no influence, you're routinely getting humiliated on the world stage- and your left with putting out press statements stating the same things you said weeks ago? That smarts. Actually, I don't feel for this guy. I feel for my country.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:34 | 4658981 paddyirishman
paddyirishman's picture

anyone who thinks the nigga is in charge of shit is delusional, hes just a puppet.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:19 | 4659302 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Well he may be a puppet with one string broken, he did back out of bombing Syria, he certainly could of said go for it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 23:06 | 4659459 TammanyBrawl
TammanyBrawl's picture

He didn't back out, he copped out. Dumped it on Congress praying they'd save him from having to back up his rhetoric. Hersh nailed it in 'Redline and Ratline'. Obama cornered himself with his mouth.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:13 | 4659587 cro_maat
cro_maat's picture

The Pentagon told him to take hike which forced his hand. He would pressed every button on his Playstation otherwise.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:00 | 4659650 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hey, when you find out Turkey is playing you for a chump, what else can you do?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:29 | 4659331 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Hey this guy has done everything he can to debase American infulence.  Now he has to deal with it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:42 | 4658965 db51
db51's picture

All I can envision in that photo is Barry Bending over that chair in front of him with Reggie Love hammering him like Kobe Bryant in the Cordillera Hotel.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:47 | 4659016 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     Old "cinnamon sticks" ZERO looks pretty assertive in that press photo. </sarc>

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:54 | 4659033 TammanyBrawl
TammanyBrawl's picture

Yes, Barack. Yes, I understand you are very serious this time. What? What's that? Ooh, you are super serious. Yes, of course. No. I agree. Absolutely, no one wants this to escalate. Yes, John and Sergey are making excellent progress. And your new girl at the UN- Samantha? Yes, I like her. 'Humanitarian Intervention' in Libya, ha ha. Genius!! I may use that as justification in the Baltics. What's that- tea time? Oh, tee time, of course. don't let me keep you. Best to Michelle. Bye.

 

Tvoyub maht! If the Ukrainians would just grow a pair, comrades, we could have this over and done by the time the negotiations start in Geneva. Negotiating from a position of strength, Da?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:57 | 4659038 flyonmywall
flyonmywall's picture

Obama: Hello, Putin ? Did you get that billion I sent you? Please stop those tanks at the border.

Putin: Hey, thanks for the chump change, chump. *click*

Obama: There will be costs this time. Hello !? Hello !? NSA, get Putin back on the line please.

Operator: Sorry sir, he's encrypted his line with our own unbreakable codes.

Obama: I'll call Angela and talk to her then. Connect me please to her cell phone.

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:06 | 4659066 stant
stant's picture

Vlad hanging up" now to next phase of fiendish plan "

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:06 | 4659067 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Obama can't even invade Nevada. 

PUNK.ASS.BITCH 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:22 | 4659118 napper
napper's picture

"Sixth" phone conversation. Darn. With speed reading it's "Sex phone conversation" ... "costs" ... "blood" on the first pass.

 

Anyway, Obama is screwed. But he's got the toughest grip in US history on the media. He'll survive.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:39 | 4659181 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

What, are those his fightin jeans? He ought to change them once in a while.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:25 | 4659318 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Those are the jeans of a cattle Rustler from Nevada, he tried to steal them cattle but came back empty handed.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:53 | 4659712 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

The photo is recycled; as is the content of the phone call.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:42 | 4659192 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

I wonder if Obama is rethinking about his sacking of his best generals, promoting gay friendly military, and political appointees to head the inteligence world.  Obama is repeatedly outplayed by Putin to the point Obama looks like the dupe he is.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:43 | 4659194 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Putin: Why you no send monies?

Obama: Speak English, you fucking cretin.

Putin: Send money or Kerry gets it.

Obama: Kerry? Go ahead. Make my day.

Putin: I met Clint Eastwood. You no Clint Eastwood.

Obama: Give back Crimea or no money.

Putin: I want sex toys.

Obama: Have to go. Time for my bath.

Putin: Say hello to Reggie for me.

Click. Click. Boom.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:57 | 4659238 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Costs, costs, costs!!! Is that all he can say?  What about lives?  Channeled like a true money changer.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:22 | 4659306 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

A good report from a real news network:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z_rzFC8wQM

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 23:14 | 4659484 layman_please
layman_please's picture

yeah rt is real news, lol.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:45 | 4659396 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

So Vlad, what are you going to tell your assholes down there in Ukerane how you're helping them out?

Look Barry, I don't have to tell them anything, they know if they don't come over to our side you guys will just fuck them like you do everyone else, that's why they are stirring the shit all over eastern Ukraine.

Yeah I guess, but we had a hard enough time getting Yanukovich ousted. And fucking Kerry is causing me publicity nightmares.... So how do you want to handle this, you know, the directive is to start this war before june, have your guys come up with ideas how to escalate this thing in a creditable way?

 Look Barry, you sure this is this a secure line?  Da? We could just tell those jew bastards to go fuck themselves and call the whole thing off.

No way Vlad, you know they'll just off the both of us and then our replacements will get it on, besides, I got plans for when this is over. I got this spot picked out in Hawaii.

Ok.ok. We'll take out that destroyer of yours in the next couple of days. You make sure you get your sheeple good and stirred up, and maybe you could accidentally hit a couple of gas pipelines to piss off some of your Nato buddies. Blame it on us, but we'll of course deny it. I'll meanwhile mobilize more tanks and put more boots on the ground in Belarus, they'r on board. What about your lame ass Nato buddies, are those pussies ready to get it on?

Jesus, I would have never thought starting a war was so much work, the fucking Bushies had the balls, look at how they faked everything to get everyone on board.

True enough Barry but this is a whole new kettle of caviar, we're talking about starting another fucking world war. They want us to take out most of Europe for Christ sake, and want a guarantee that no nukes will fly. Fucking idiots, how can we guarantee that once this shit starts, can you guarantee your boys will show restraint?

 I know, I know. I'm having a hard time sleeping Vlad, and my game is way off. Well look, I'll have my guys call your guys and they can work on this shit. That's what they get paid for. This is giving me a head-ache.

All right Barry give the babuschka the high hard one for me.

Yeah whatever Vlad. Talk to you later.

 

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:57 | 4659418 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

Sooooo let me get this straight... Obama calls Putin from his golf cart and says what??? I'm buying stock in deer farms and buying up all the Donkey Kong Machines from the 80's...Bitchez

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:59 | 4659432 Ifigenia
Ifigenia's picture

I think they are not speaking with each other. Otherwise, why the contend is so diferent? Perhaps Putin is speaking with an Obama impersonator or Obama speaking with a fake Putin.

 

Almost like the Kurosawa film Rashomon

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:04 | 4659571 besnook
besnook's picture

this is what americans have to deal with. president obambam is trying to support a coup orchestrated by a team led by the usa by restricting the participation of all the citizens of the ukraine to choose their .gov. the usa is actually sending the military, albeit the ukraine military, to squelch any semblance of self determination by ukrainians of russian heritage. the usa position is all ukrainians must go along with the imposed .gov or lose the freedom they don't have anyway. either they know the russians will fight because freedom means they have nothing left to loose and are inviting it or the usa zionists are just plain stupid. on the other hand, the champion of american values is putin. self determination is the linchpin of freedom. my head is exploding. do i support american values coming from a russian or american arrogance by a puppet .gov in the usa led by craven zionist baby killers.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:05 | 4659656 dogismycopilot
dogismycopilot's picture

Ukraine is going to go full on into civil war. Obama & Co will think it is a game of checkers and send in guns and intelligence and mercenaries (Romanian hired guns). 

But Russia can't have this on their borders. They will roll in full force.

Then all bets are off.

You must always assume the worst when politicians are involved. especially American politicians.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:09 | 4659661 dunce
dunce's picture

The most powerful office in the world was the oval office. obama has turned it into a clown closet and pick up point for queers. Every thing he touchs turns to dung.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 02:30 | 4659746 zerohedgejjxxzz12
zerohedgejjxxzz12's picture

I wonder if the teleprompter counts the seconds for Obamba to pause before he speaks again, when he gives speaches. you know those dramatic pauses.

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 02:32 | 4659749 lead salad
lead salad's picture

When this fuck said I have a phone and a pen, I bet he didn't expect to be on the phone to Vlad this often while being told to stick that pen in his arse....fucking cunt.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 03:09 | 4659770 inky
inky's picture

Puppets are not elected to political office to change things.

They are put there to keep things the way they are.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 03:46 | 4659793 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

Dont know why they bother, they are just talking past each other, what a waste of time.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 05:18 | 4659847 intric8
intric8's picture

Obozo- 'this is your last warning. Comply with our directives or face action!'
Putin - 'Obozo, and your imf trollfaggotry can suck my fat russian cock'
Obozo- 'my fellow americans, putin is a gay basher. We must act'
lulz

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 09:29 | 4660361 Free Wary
Free Wary's picture

I wish I had the link, just yesterday I read that the US Treasury just paid Ukraine's gazprom bill. Obama is such a wimp.

"THERE WILL BE COSTS", "Oh, don't worry we'll pay you. . . "

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