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Sixth Phone Conversation: Obama Warns Putin "Costs" Will Increase; Kremlin Tells Obama To "Prevent Bloodshed"

Tyler Durden's picture


A few hours ago, Obama and Putin held their sixth phone conversation since the fate of Ukraine rekindled the second cold war. As usual, much was said, the generic talking points were uttered, and nothing was resolved nor will anything change.

First, here is the White House repeating, literally for the sixth time, the "costs" line:

Readout of the President’s Call with President Putin


At Moscow’s request, President Obama spoke with Russian President Putin today about the situation in Ukraine.  The President expressed grave concern about Russian government support for the actions of armed, pro-Russian separatists who threaten to undermine and destabilize the government of Ukraine.  The President emphasized that all irregular forces in the country need to lay down their arms, and he urged President Putin to use his influence with these armed, pro-Russian groups to convince them to depart the buildings they have seized.  The President reiterated the importance of Russia withdrawing its troops from Ukraine’s border in order to defuse tensions.  President Obama noted that despite the rhetoric from Russian officials, the government of Ukraine has acted with remarkable restraint, and he praised the Ukrainian government’s efforts to unify the country by holding free and fair presidential elections on May 25, pursuing inclusive constitutional reform and proposing concrete steps toward the decentralization of power.  The President noted Russia’s growing political and economic isolation as a result of its actions in Ukraine and made clear that the costs Russia already has incurred will increase if those actions persist.  The President noted the upcoming contact group meeting in Geneva and said that while he continues to believe that a diplomatic solution is still possible, it cannot succeed in an environment of Russian military intimidation on Ukraine’s borders, armed provocation within Ukraine, and escalatory rhetoric by Kremlin officials.

And from the perspective of the Kremlin:

Vladimir Putin had a telephone conversation with President of the United States of America Barack Obama.


The leaders discussed various aspects of the crisis in Ukraine, first and foremost in the southeastern regions engulfed by mass protests against the policies of the current authorities in Kiev.


The Russian side stressed that the protests in Donetsk, Lugansk, Kharkov, Slavyansk and other cities in southeastern Ukraine are the result of the Kiev authorities’ unwillingness and inability to take into account the interests of the Russian and Russian-speaking population. Vladimir Putin called upon Barack Obama to use the American side’s capabilities to prevent the use of force and bloodshed.


In response to the US President’s expressed concern about Russia’s alleged interference in southeastern Ukraine, the President of Russia noted that such speculations are based on inaccurate information. The current Ukrainian authorities must think first and foremost about truly involving all the main political forces and regions in a transparent process for developing a new constitution that guarantees the main rights and freedoms for citizens, the nation’s federal structure and its non-aligned status.


The two sides agreed to continue efforts to seek diplomatic cooperation in the context of the Ukrainian situation ahead of the four-party meeting (EU, Russia, US and Ukraine) scheduled to take place in Geneva on April 17.

Meanwhile, East Ukraine is preparing for a full-blown military operation.

In lieu of an actual updated photo op, here is the stock footage from the first such conversation. It will do the job since it could as easily have been taken in Hollywood.

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Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:04 | 4658867 maskone909
maskone909's picture

There was no phone call. This is a joke. I mean its obvious we have mercs over there starting shit. How could there be any "discussion" under that pretext?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:09 | 4658885 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

We have mercs starting shit HERE for fucks sake.

"I will have more flexibilty after the election."

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:12 | 4658891 maskone909
maskone909's picture

CNN FLIGHT 370 discussion shifts towards maritime lubricants

Cant make this up

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:17 | 4658915 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Isn't that desk the one with the secret compartment containing a map that tells Nicolas Cage where the treasure is?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:24 | 4658939 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Barry draws another Pink Line and this time he means it!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:25 | 4658950 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Relax Tyler.  Bath House is on this like stink on a monkey.

That was not a Moochelle joke.

OK, maybe it was;)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:28 | 4658961 pods
pods's picture

"Let me be clear."

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, <cough cough, snort, deep breath>, sorry, you were saying?"


Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:36 | 4658987 knukles
knukles's picture

Ring ring (phone in Putin’s office)


Vlad:  Hullo?
Barack:  Good evening, Vlad, this is Barack Obama, President of the United States.
Vlad:  Oh yeah.  So’d they find your Kenyan birth certificate for you yet?  No?  Perhaps the original in the possession of the KGB could be of use to you.
Barack:  What?!?!?!?  I uh.  Vladimir Vladimirovich, perhaps (interrupted)
V:  Valdmirovich?  I do not remember acceding to familiar terms with you Mr Sowhato.
Barack:  V (choking sound) lahd  I uh …
V:  Trouble swallowing?  Sounds like a man under duress.  I do not mean to place you under duress, Barack Obama, President of the United States.  How may I help you tonight?

B:  Well, listen, we all must get along and remain civil and uh  ummm I ah
V:  Civil?
B:  Yes, civil
V:   Crimea River.  That is funny, no?  I get joke from ZeroHedge!  LOL


(dial tone)

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:00 | 4659049 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture


Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:03 | 4659059 max2205
max2205's picture

Costs? Is he fucking retarded?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:35 | 4659161 napper
napper's picture

Yes, he is. People with brains don't get to live in the White House. It's hard for the shadow powers to control an intelligent, educated and independently minded president. You don't want to do Warren Commission style cover-ups too often.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:38 | 4659176 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

The costs are rising.

Oil is now $104. 

The costs are rising, but not for Russia.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:46 | 4659207 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

"Oil is now $104."

A dangerous indicator that something bad is going to happen soon.

Why do they ramp up the oil prices just before this wickedness happens?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:55 | 4659233 StupidEarthlings
StupidEarthlings's picture

Wasnt it like 150 during the 08 crisis?..

I think we got a little time here fellas.


Tho it may be hard for most to believe,  not EVERY ZH article means the end is here.


You know how many buckets of popcorn I've wasted since I joined this site?..






Just playin..now..wheres my popcorn..this is gettin good. ;)


Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:10 | 4659584 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Putin: "You again... Fuck Off little worm! Go back to organizing your little community... this is the REAL world!"

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:36 | 4660124 sleigher
sleigher's picture

All part of the plan.


1.  Control all resources

2.  Start a war

3.  ???

4.  Profit

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:44 | 4659197 Philalethian
Philalethian's picture

After realizing the puppet points were not discused as ordered to do, Barakh calls Vladimir Putin right back.


Ring ring....ring ring.


Vlad: Ya, what you want now?

Barakh: Forgot to tell you, we will be stirring up the usual antagonistic sordid al-cia-duh trouble making as the master banksters have ordered us to do to cover up the crash of the dollar. Did you get the memo?

Vlad: Dah, of course we did. We will accept your tit, for our tat, and then later stir the pot some more to scaremonger the world into not noticing our masters clever plan to crash all economies and countries for ze new world order. Did you get your check?

Barakh: Yes dear, but it was a few billion short. Dammed banksters ripping us all off, but what's a poor puppet to do?

Vlad: Not to worry, it will all be worthless soon and the world chaos of all the false flag events will keep everyone occupied and in fear. Go ahead with your plans to create more havoc. We will of course respond accordingly as planned.

Barakh: OK, sounds good. All according to ze plans of our master banksters.

Vlad: Dah. Now leave us alone and go back to the masters cage that we all live in.




Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:37 | 4658988 remain calm
remain calm's picture

Does anyone else find it extremely weird that  everytime Obama talks to Putin he always wears the same clothing.  I think the mother fucker is a psychopth.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 20:32 | 4663522 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

Prolly a color occult thing.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:41 | 4658975 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Its all rigged up boys...


but you know - we'll try to 'vote them out' for the 9,453,813,420th time in the next election and then will wonder why many full moons later, how can the common man lose that many 'coin flips' in a row?! Its impossible unless its rigged.



Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:50 | 4660176 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Write-in candidate: Donald Duck

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:29 | 4658962 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Under President Barry (and most of the presidents before him), the government of the United States sticks its nose into the affairs of every country on the planet and then whines like a little bitch when everything goes to shit. Detroit looks like fucking Dresden after the firebombing, but we still think we have the ability to "make the world a better place."

It would be funny if people weren't dying, Barry, you big fucktard.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:47 | 4659014 knukles
knukles's picture

Hold the Fuck On!
Don't belittle the man because of Detroit.
He organized the South Side of Chicago!

maniacal laughter

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:04 | 4659061 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

You're just jealous of his Nobel Peace Prize, MM.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:31 | 4658972 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Do you mean a Pinkman line?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:40 | 4659184 perchprism
perchprism's picture


No, he mean that Obama was going to draw and snort another pink line----Pink Peruvian flake, that is.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:50 | 4659025 sushi
sushi's picture

The Scots are very likely to vote for independence from England. How come Obummer is not getting Putin to accept the costs associated with the breakup of the UK? And it is well known that polite little green men have been operating in Ireland for years now. Why is Putin allowed to get away with these atrocities?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:54 | 4659229 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Latst polls say Scots will reject independence from the UK.

Where is your data from?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:24 | 4659313 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Scots will reject independence. The old Irish saying may fit "Better the devil you know than the one you don't." People are set in their ways, and Scotland has a large non Scots population in the cities, these will stick with the English Welfare State that feeds most of them. Sadly!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 01:01 | 4659652 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Cities are the root of all evil.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:45 | 4659003 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Maritime lubricants might reference what CNN is using to grease up the sheep every night.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:49 | 4659020 knukles
knukles's picture

CNN (Certainly Not News) Malay 370/24/7/365

Anybody but me find it humorous thinking that 370 just might have been spirited away for a distraction during these troubled times?  And that was before Bundy Ranch.

Oh boy!  It's all shits and grins, Giggles amok.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:12 | 4659082 KickIce
KickIce's picture

It's either a distraction and/or the Chinese stole some brand new tech.  But yeah, this admin seems to be in need of a distraction on a daily basis and 370 has been in the news for what, 3 weeks now?

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 22:28 | 4659329 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

CNN has been banging away on this fucking plane for ever. I check when I get home to see if they say anything about Ukraine, 99% of coverage is the Plane. What really gets me, as a former Navy Sonar Petty Officer, is WHY, when the pinger was active and they had some ideas where it might be, a few Nuclear subs running silent and using the massive hydrophone array didn't simply make a few slow passes. Fuck! I can't tell you what a subs sonar can hear, but in truth you wouldn't believe me if I did. I don't get it, the Navy has no enemy, so why not run a few boats down there to listen. I never heard a word about that simple and most efficient expedient.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:43 | 4659630 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Because then the US would have to answer for why they can read your kindle fire over your shoulder, but couldn't find a 777 on this blue marble.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:48 | 4659637 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

No need for a search when you know where the plane is hangared.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 04:10 | 4659807 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Ok Jack you can tell us you are out of the navy for quite a few years now, so tell us what they can hear.......?

Im calling it ZH freedom of Zinformation

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:45 | 4660158 gallistic
gallistic's picture

"Hey captain, I got something!"

Is it the plane?

"Er, uh... never mind, false alarm; it's just a couple of Lobsters duking it out"

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 08:41 | 4660143 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Bundy ranch, 5-16-2014.  Ya think maybe?  

Will be a convenient time while all the "patriots" are in D.C. marching.

Hagman and Hagman certainly think so.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:17 | 4658917 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

you can, but they'll use it

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:34 | 4658980 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

the same narrative for this story seems to fit anything today.


At Clark County's request, President Obama spoke with Rancher Cliven Bundy today about the situation in Nevada.  The President expressed grave concern about civilian support for the actions of armed, pro-constitutional americans who threaten to undermine and destabilize the bureau of land management.  The President emphasized that all irregular forces in the county need to lay down their arms, and he urged Bundy to use his influence with these armed, non sheeple to convince them to depart the land they have been using.  The President reiterated the importance of Bundy withdrawing his supporters from the BLM's border in order to defuse tensions.  President Obama reitered they are free to stand in the 3x3 space they have designated the "first amendment area" located 4 miles away to express their grievances to no one.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:51 | 4659026 knukles
knukles's picture

You gotta be shitting me, fonz.

Don't fuck with me like this.
I told you staying around here too long would fry your brain.
I ah...

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:38 | 4659171 Hulk
Hulk's picture

As an NSA Spook, I can verify everything fonz has written and in fact, I listened to the conversation in real time !!!

Bitchez !!!

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:55 | 4659035 sushi
sushi's picture

How do we know those upset "irregular forces" are not Ukrainians? The Mexicans seem to get into the country with no problem. What are the chances that US unrest is being fostered by a 5th column of pissed off Ukrainians? Putin should pay the costs for this, for global warming, for the California drought and wildfires, and all the rest of it.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:19 | 4659113 KickIce
KickIce's picture

3x3 space aka the drone targeting area.

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 21:28 | 4659140 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Real conversation

Barry- Hi Vlad- How about that Masters Tournament?

Vlad- Did you let Reggie get another hole in one?

Barry- Vlad, you have to give me a little something so I look good

Vlad- Tell that Reggie to give you a little something. I have nothing for you

Barry- Come on Vlad, I need to get my groove on

Vlad- You are a functional idiot. Go fuck yourself. 


MSM press release- Obama warns Putin sternly

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:21 | 4658907 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

The administration talks peaceful solutions, but telegraphs preperations for war:



US, France, Turkey...smells like NATO to me.

That was just from a quick google search.  How many more allies are sending ships?

The board is being set.

More flexible is right. 


Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:51 | 4659027 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Foolish French, sending an anti-submarine destroyer into the Black Sea when all the Russian subs are already sitting off the coast of Virginia and California.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 00:06 | 4659579 stant
stant's picture

Putin get of my lawn mother fuker

Mon, 04/14/2014 - 20:27 | 4658958 tempo
tempo's picture

Why are we paying the Ukrainians gas bill????

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