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Trading Made Simple

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As stocks once again flip-flop from manic depressive to manic impressive; heading into the last few hours of the day, we thought we would simplify the art of trading a little with the following flowchart...

 

 

And in case you are an algo, here it is further simplified for your boolean logic circuits:

 

h/t @RampCapitalLLC, @Not_Jim_Cramer

 

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Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:01 | 4662235 The Axe
The Axe's picture

I need 6 beers  

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:05 | 4662252 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

How come there are no strippers to be found anywhere on that flow-chart?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:10 | 4662269 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

Who still programs in visual basic?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:13 | 4662276 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

That is a flowchart, more like a basic visual, isn't it?

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:21 | 4662297 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

this is clearly missing the 8:30AM ES ramp and correlating 8:29:59AM gold/silver Smack Down

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:31 | 4662338 flacon
flacon's picture

This time it's different.... 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:34 | 4662364 Battleaxe
Battleaxe's picture

Simpler version:

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY

BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:08 | 4662262 tmosley
Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:01 | 4662236 Alethian
Alethian's picture

Capitalism for Dummies!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:10 | 4662267 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

the algos are trying to front run the 330PM rampfest.  they're going to be left holding a big pile of shit.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:12 | 4662272 Alethian
Alethian's picture

"That shit's Productive!"

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 17:20 | 4662786 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Where is the button for kill all muppets?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:03 | 4662240 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

i don't know ... drinking beer at 8:30am is probably not a good thing ...

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:06 | 4662255 Alethian
Alethian's picture

What planet are you from?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:35 | 4662363 flacon
flacon's picture

I start binge drinking at 4:30pm and again right before bed so I can wake up buzzed and begin again at 6:00am in time for daily metals smash, and drink another six pack at 7:30am watching the ES S&P rise on no news. By 9:25am I am asleep until 10:30 ramp job and take a nap until 11:30 Euro close. Then I'm drinking for the rest of the day until 4:30pm when I start drinking for tomorrow's punishement. 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:59 | 4662452 JohnG
JohnG's picture

You're doing it right.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:08 | 4662261 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Not if you haven't had the 7:30 beer. 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:11 | 4662510 brak
brak's picture

scotch?

-mr mom

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:03 | 4662241 X_mloclaM
X_mloclaM's picture

TUESDAY IS COMING . DID YOU BRING YOUR COAT? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adUn1AeFkmo

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:06 | 4662253 Fiat Burner
Fiat Burner's picture

Yellen gave the "market" its RJ early today.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:07 | 4662259 Flying Spaniard
Flying Spaniard's picture

I need a beer regardless! 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:10 | 4662264 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

and the poor smucks continue to leave what little savings that hasnt been wiped out yet in this fraudulent rigged banker casino waiting to be fleeced for the last time in their lives....

FUCKING STUPID MAN....

prepear the gallows .

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:09 | 4662265 Obama_4_Dictator
Obama_4_Dictator's picture

I was always told towards the end of this stock manipluation, we would see wild swings from negative to postive.....seems we are drawing near

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:10 | 4662266 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

yesterday's 3:30 ramp up literally started "right on the second."

bwahahahahahahaha.

"maybe we should have the regulators look into this"?

in the meantime "come three thirty stop trading" is Cramer's one and only rule. That says to me the Mad Money folks are still trading, and losing BIG TIME.

Is this what's running the whole economy right now?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:22 | 4662307 seek
seek's picture

If the regulators looked into it, you know the one guy with a clock that was 1 second fast would get the fine, providing he wasn't GS or JPM.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:11 | 4662271 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

if the last half hour is the ramp up shouldn't i buy everything up until 3:30 and sell at the close?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:13 | 4662275 mattgallis
mattgallis's picture

IGNITE!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:14 | 4662277 BubbleBobble
BubbleBobble's picture

Today's markets remind me of that 80s arcade game 'Berzerk' where dozens of robots followed your every move and the only way you could exit was to fake them out in one direction as you made your way in another direction.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berzerk_%28video_game%29

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:15 | 4662281 starman
starman's picture

Damn it I  always forget that beer part! Thanks!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:16 | 4662282 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Maybe today 3:30 will be a violent dump. Nah who am I fooling, probably +3% by close.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:17 | 4662287 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Glad we could keep things, visual and basic for everyone.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:41 | 4662390 Krynn Economics
Krynn Economics's picture

C#

private void ES_Ramp_Click(System.Object sender, System.EventArgs e)

{

   Buy_ES_RefuckingGardless_Of_Anything = Is_Tuesday;

}

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:30 | 4662586 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

What is the coding for buying any stock with a symbol that is close to the symbol of a company that has good news?  

FOREACH Company.Listed

IF (Company.Listed.Symbol.SubString(0,2) == Company.GoodNews.Symbol.SubString(0,2))

{

BUY Company.Listed.Symbol

}

RINSE_AND_REPEAT

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 17:25 | 4662801 goBackToSleep
goBackToSleep's picture

the Dow 1,000,000 neverending QE loop!

if ($DOW == 'M,W,Th,F') then

    BUY!

ELSEIF ($DOW == 'Tu') then

     Sell!

Endif

There, fixed it. now you boys and girls quit confusing the muppets.

chart added for clarity:

http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user3303/imageroot/2014/04/20140415_tuesday3.png

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:20 | 4662299 qazwsx
qazwsx's picture

10mins early today!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:24 | 4662311 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

Just trade support and resistance. It's worked since the advent of public, liquid markets. Worked again today on the Nascrap. Keep your emotions and biases out of your trading.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:06 | 4662483 besnook
besnook's picture

why don't you add that you have never blown up, self immolated, never had a loser.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:12 | 4662513 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

I've lost more money in markets than you'll ever make in your lifetime genius. Being wrong is part of trading. 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:17 | 4662536 besnook
besnook's picture

lol! dumb fuck! just trade resistance and support. i can tell you have never traded a bear from that simplistic comment.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:21 | 4662549 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

That's right. You've got me completely figured out. Good job bro. Congrats to you!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:25 | 4662314 ...out of space
...out of space's picture

fuck i just dont get it

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:31 | 4662341 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

No wonder, the code does has no reference to the picture..

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:29 | 4662327 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Visual Basic .NET microsoft shit.. linux c/python/ruby/erlang/haskell for the win!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:46 | 4662407 Shameful
Shameful's picture

Working in anything other than assembly is for weak babies without large powerful neck beards.

Wed, 04/16/2014 - 08:33 | 4664563 PT
PT's picture

BASIC when you need code working in a hurry and you don't care if it runs slow.
Machine code for when you need the code to run fast and you don't care how long it takes to write it.

Machine code for when you want to actually be in charge of the computer for a change. 
Other languages when you don't care what the computer is doing, as long as it eventually does what you told it to do. 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:29 | 4662329 zstard
zstard's picture

Excellent code snippet. I love it when the F word is used to "bind" the first and last parts of words.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:29 | 4662330 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the algo that needs another algo to go where no algos have ever been. 

Its called algos on crutches. 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:29 | 4662332 Heyyouguys
Heyyouguys's picture

Forget the beer need something stronger. How about a Beefeater martine, very, very dry.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:31 | 4662333 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.
You take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall."

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:33 | 4662357 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

Beer? How do people drink that after trying bourbon.

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:17 | 4662537 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Some of us craft our own beer.  How can you drink mass produced alcohol after trying home made?

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:30 | 4662564 TaperProof
TaperProof's picture

When I drink brew, I drink microbrews.   How can I make my own whiskey at home?  jk i'm too lazy i'll just pay tons of money for good booze

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 17:45 | 4662909 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

:) Hey, you know what? To each his own! Drink up!

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:40 | 4662389 flowlessflow
flowlessflow's picture

Rigged and damn those HFTs

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 15:43 | 4662400 GhostInTheMachine
GhostInTheMachine's picture

If (market open == true)

{

Open_Buy();

}

else

{

JustBuyWhoCares();

}

 

Tue, 04/15/2014 - 16:22 | 4662552 drinkin koolaid
drinkin koolaid's picture

Could be " Spirits In The Material world".

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