And The Highest Returning "Asset" Class In CNBC's 25 Years Is...

Tyler Durden's picture


Today, in celebrating its 25th birthday, CNBC will have you know that stocks, which have generated returns of over 500% in the past 25 years, are the best asset because, well, "where else are you going to put your money." So if you said the S&P500 is the best performing "asset" class in the past 25 years you would be... wrong.

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Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:19 | 4669576 NotApplicable
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Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:23 | 4669594 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Just think if the FED went public.  What an IPO that would be.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:30 | 4669611 chinoslims
chinoslims's picture

It's been public.  I'm holding Federal Reserve notes.  The fuckers keep diluting the shares.  What a shitty investment.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:31 | 4669617 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Talk about dilution. You nailed it. 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:35 | 4669634 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture


so .. tell me again who owns shares of that 'fed' thing?


Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:47 | 4669678 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture


The best performing asset class is Congress.

Then there's rackets, extortion, illicit drugs, Chinese solar projects, etc., the list goes on.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:40 | 4669900 0z
0z's picture

WTF? Their books isn't an asset. And its cooked. What is this article? I say you woulda done best raising cattle.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:03 | 4670173 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Ich bin flummixed.

... and not for the first time.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:42 | 4670346 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

The 10, 30 and 50 DMA are converging.   Something big is going to happen.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:56 | 4670409 mkkby
mkkby's picture

That Fed stock is a damn good investment.  It's almost like they print money.

Fri, 04/18/2014 - 05:24 | 4672388 ilion
ilion's picture

The ultimate bull market is coffee in 2014. Just crazy movements this year and probably there is more to come. Don't be short this market or you will have a same feeling like Obammer when an F16 flies up his ass.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:42 | 4670348 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Because jobs.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:48 | 4669682 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

you can google it; sadly the trade in class B non-voting securities are really dilutive and the yield compared to other assets sucks.

Short answer:

the issuance of stock by the regional Fed banks to the member banks.  This stock pays a fixed 6% dividend and gives the banks a claim on the Fed’s annual profits.  

Read more: the 4 second google. cause, stuff.
Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:00 | 4669733 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That's fuckin' hilarious!

I like how it's okay cuz all of the "profits" flow back to the Treasury. Riddle me this... what the fuck do profits matter when you issue the very currency they are denominated in?

I'd call this stupid-squared, but it's obviously far beyond that. It's a giant clearing house, all right. Clearing the wealth right out of everyone's hands.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:47 | 4669925 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"Just think if the FED went public."~

Could Snowden come home then?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:51 | 4670392 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

Thanks for the link vile,


comment from your link @businessinsider

buckethead on Oct 26, 7:01 PM said:

Does an entity which serves solely as a clearinghouse have the means and authority to purchase failed assets at par, from collusive entities which originally loaned them into existence without first having had real assets with which to purchase these virtually worthless "assets"? In other words, how the hell does a 'clearing house' create multiples of trillions of dollars worth of 'money' from nothing, in order to purchase failed investments thereby making players whole despite their having failed? And you do realize, that all the BIGS were insolvent in 08. All zombies. All counter parties, And all survivors made whole by decree. Clearing house my ass.

Read more:

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:17 | 4670244 raeb
raeb's picture

You know the answer--bankers all.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:32 | 4669622 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

now if we could just short it...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:34 | 4669627 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture



Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:36 | 4669640 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

Exactly. The biggest short ever.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:53 | 4669702 Professor Fate
Professor Fate's picture

Fannie, Freddie, and "Feddie"....all broke and busted.  Poor Janet.  She inherited a maxed out credit card from the Bernank.

Fate the Magnificent
"Push the Button, Max"

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:21 | 4669824 CHX
CHX's picture

Exactly, an we've got an extra sale offered to us right now. 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:43 | 4669668 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

Ticker symbol = SHIT

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:33 | 4669623 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

We keep investing in it every day we go to work. We must be idiots!!!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:43 | 4669667 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And every day we receive less and less value for our efforts.

OTOH, it does make spending the day at ZH a guilt-free endeavor. :)

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:35 | 4669635 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Working hard to taQE away those last two percentage points of your purchasing power.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:00 | 4669717 CHX
CHX's picture

FED: That's bcs we fear defation so much. See GDP = money supply x money velocity. The latter is collapsing due to our policies, so we have to keep propping up money supply, so that GDP does not collapse. Simple. Don't like it? Just hang in there, and we're very sorry for the inconvenience. EOM /sarc

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:51 | 4669936 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture

the base is so fkn big right now, if the velocity moved a smidgen we're talking double digit CPI inflation overnight

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:26 | 4670531 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

Don't fear the REAPER, er...ugh...DELFLATION.  If it hits big, the truly big guys will be worthless like the rest of us.  Of course Uncle Ben and his blonde bombshell won't let that happen - if - if - they don't lose control.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:49 | 4669931 Libertarian777
Libertarian777's picture



17,000,000,000,000 thumbs up!!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:27 | 4670536 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

Well Pard,  I preciate that.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:10 | 4670013 DDDingo
DDDingo's picture

Clasic!  LOL!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:17 | 4670246 Drifter
Drifter's picture

I think company stock analogy is the best way to explain what US dollar (FRN) is and how it works.

It's shares of stock in the US govt from a value standpoint, value rising and falling with people's confidence in US govt, value diluted when more "shares" are issued (currency printing).

It's stock shares we use as currency. Suddenly people get the picture, they understand.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:23 | 4670520 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture

Dat's wut I'm talkin' bout Farmer Bundy.

Fri, 04/18/2014 - 00:49 | 4672168 Fast Twitch
Fast Twitch's picture

Time for a 10:1 rollback...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:40 | 4669657 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Tyler, what is a "CNBC' ??

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:44 | 4669670 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sesame Street for suits.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:45 | 4669676 saints51
saints51's picture

A form of crotch rot.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:29 | 4670549 AlamoJack
AlamoJack's picture


Thu, 04/17/2014 - 16:22 | 4670765 Fast Twitch
Fast Twitch's picture

"Cheat N B Cheated"

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:25 | 4669599 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Amazing the year everything just went ape-shit.

My daughter is going to kill me when she asks why and how this generation fucked the pooch.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:31 | 4669618 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Nice steady balance sheet trajectory until.....what event happened in 08-09? Hmmm...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:52 | 4669698 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You're safe. All you've got to do is to introduce her to the Coup of '13.

The Creature from Jekyll Island should be sufficient.

My daughter was recently looking through my books for something interesting to read, so I directed her to Conjuring Hitler.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:32 | 4670303 walküre
walküre's picture

If your daughter is mad at you for that reason, you've done well in educating her. If she is mad at you because you didn't get in on the action and made millions to buy her the castle and the pink ponies, you might as well jump off a cliff.

Everything depends on your vantage point, I guess.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:42 | 4670601 AGuy
AGuy's picture

What about Gold?


Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:20 | 4669581 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Soon, there will be one primary dealer, the Fed. One buyer and one seller for all! Forward USSA!!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:20 | 4669583 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

well actually, if poverty were an asset class, that would be the hands down winner.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:23 | 4669593 Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder's picture

Of course the "war" asset class might be coming in a close second...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:21 | 4669588 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Fuckin stunning...hey good luck with all that shit, Fed!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 11:24 | 4669598 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

sorry kids.

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