Russian Foreign Minister Announces Four Party Agreement On Steps To De-escalate Ukraine Crisis

Tyler Durden's picture

Considering how successful diplomatic "solutions" to the Ukraine crisis have been in the past, it is no wonder almost nobody was paying attention to Geneva where today the four parties were holding talks to resolve the Ukraine situation, and moments ago they released, via Russia's Lavrov, a joint statement on "de-escalating the situation." From Bloomberg:

  • LAVROV SAYS DOCUMENT APPROVED ON UKRAINE
  • LAVROV SAYS DOCUMENT ON INITIAL STEPS TO DE-ESCALATE SITUATION
  • 4 PARTIES CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED: LAVROV
  • UKRAINIANS MUST RESOLVE CRISIS THEMSELVES, LAVROV SAYS
  • PARTIES URGE WIDE-RANGING NATIONAL DIALOG IN UKRAINE: LAVROV
  • PARTIES URGE AMNESTY FOR PROTESTERS IN UKRAINE'S EAST: LAVROV
  • UKRAINE NEEDS TO BOLSTER STATUS OF RUSSIAN LANGUAGE: LAVROV

And, approrpiately enough, the Easter Egg:

  • UKRAINE NEEDS DECENTRALIZATION, MORE REGIONAL POWERS: LAVROV

In other words, more referendums? For now stocks aren't reacting exactly bullishly (perhaps because as UBS recently suggested, with a straight face, "war may be bullish for US stocks"), however, oil is lower on the news.

We wonder how long until this too "diplomatic" solution is promptly ignored and forgotten: days or hours?

The Lavrov conference is here:

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The Juggernaut's picture

The Weather Underground Organization (WUO)

MrsMerkel's picture

Now, I'd be with him on the need for decentralisation and regional powers, if he could convince me this isn't just a ploy to prepare the east for future annexation.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

This means one of two things:

A) The Russians are pussies and gave up.
B) They have something else up their sleeves. 

If I was held up in some soviet style governmental building, had been pooping in a bucket, and was waiting to get annexed, I'd be MAF right now.

Arius's picture

i knew it!

Lavrov and Kerry always do deliver!!!

these guys are the best!

 

Edit: on second thought this might be a sticking point:

CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED: LAVROV

what is illegal anyway? does greystone or russian nationalist qualify as illegals? illegal according to whom? one revolutionary seems to be the other's terrorist ...

well, i give it until the weekend ...

Winston Churchill's picture

This has been on the table for two months now.Placed there by Lavrov,

so this is a US capitulation after two months of bluster and escalation..

McMolotov's picture

Nonsense! This is Because Obama™. Give him another Nobel Piss Prize. USA! USA! USA!

gcjohns1971's picture

That is because no one on the Western side is interested in a resoultion that doesn't include non-russian energy going through Ukrainian pipes. 

And no one on the Eastern side is interested in a solution that does include it...

But they can't say that.

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Yes Ukraine, we agree to allow peace in your Eastern region AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO RUSSIAN TERMS. Signed, the world powers who sold you out.

Putin: 1+infinity

Pigeon: 0

gcjohns1971's picture

Lavrov is clearly superior to Kerry because...

he doesn't have a horseface.

 

Otherwise they are pretty much the same imaginary person.

Payne's picture

Isn't the current Government of Ukraine, illegal and unelected ?  Call for immediate elections !

Fíréan's picture

What if " annexation" was the plan from the go/start, for the top dogs on both sides, and the method to get to that agreement  there having to be a situation by which the final  result is mutual agreed solution to a  problem . those who have to do so look tough and stood their ground, the people fall into line and agree with the compromise.

Every body flexed their proverbial muscles and nobody looked the wimp. Lots of heavy rhetoric ( or really lots of bullshit) pompous, self righteous  propoganda to impress the "folks" back at home watching it all on tv. All the parties involved, some of whom would never have agreed to the solution ( annexaion), feel as if they have stood their ground. Yet the problem, the conflict  being created in the first place for the annexaiton to be the mutually agreed solution, because all the other solutions or outcomes are are too damning to both sides .

Omen IV's picture

nothing was mentioned by Lavrov or Kerry about Crimea annexation and any western continued protest about the annexation - means? - more referendums to come and Federation is a cinch for the south and east -

US & EU get the debt, the west and the Fascists as the booby prize -

Question:  will Nuland get fired for her lousy myopyic vision that should have been obvious (overcommitted and under performed)

or

be rewarded and given another country to destablize?

 

Zest's picture

I'm curious what the Russian strategy is, seeing how NATO plans to set up camp just outside their doorstep.

john39's picture

Russia watches while kiev regime implodes...

saints51's picture

Russian strategy will set up camp with submarines outside Nato allies borders.

gcjohns1971's picture

Close the Bosporus.

 

Any other problems?

Winston Churchill's picture

No NATO, its not negotiable.

HardlyZero's picture

Open the borders with Russia.  Free trade zone.  Free movement between Russia and Ukraine.  Open borders.

 

Transnistria remains and has since 1991.  That will probably be the end-game in a few years, including Odessa.  The entire southern region would landlock Ukraine so will be the final putsch along with Kiev.

jubber's picture

another excuse for a rip your face off rally?

Winston Churchill's picture

So we are back with what  Russia wanted from the getgo.

A loose Federation, and no NATO in their backyard.Plus the bonus of Crimea.

I give it about a day before the neocons doublecross on the deal again.

813kml's picture

The neocons are rapidly escalating in order to prevent Obama any recourse.

gcjohns1971's picture

Respectfully,

I expect the 'Neocons' say whatever the the lobby that bought them, tells them to say - same as the democrats.

I expect a Gulf-bought lobby is telling them that if Russia is tied up in Ukraine that they won't be able to continue blocking pipelines through Syria.

I expect a Euro lobby will be saying that if the US is to remain at the head of the table, they must show they are able to provide access to strategic resources - like Energy.

I expect another Euro lobby will be saying that the whole reason for NATO rather than an EU Army is to prevent the very sorts of land-grabs going on right now.

I expect the US defense lobby will be saying that the US' credibility is at stake, and that reductions in defense - as currently planned ( and a necessity by the way) - are a foolish move at times like these.

No one is going to listen to people who say....

Condemn the whole affair and all involved, but otherwise mind our own business.

kridkrid's picture

You say that like the neocons and Obama don't serve the same master.

Winston Churchill's picture

They might appear to.
You just can't find good help these days.

redpill's picture

CIA-arranged coup didn't work in Ukraine, the false flag chem weapons didn't work in Syria, the warmonger playbook is getting pretty thin at this point!  Diplomatic assassinations next?

813kml's picture

It is yet to be seen how Ukraine plays out.  I suspect that the neocons will get the confrontation they want so badly.

kridkrid's picture

In your opinion, does Obama want something different? The President supported the lies that were told in Syria in an attempt to engage Russia there... do you believe that the President isn't aware of the CIA's activity in the Ukraine?

I think it's important for people to recognize that we are in Bush's 4th term (or Clinton's 6th or GHWB's 7th or RR's 9th, etc. etc. etc). Anything else is a lie you tell to yourself .

813kml's picture

I think that Obama does want a peaceful resolution, but ultimately maybe be forced to act.  He doesn't have control of the shadow government, the neocons have the money and reach to start enough fires to force him to respond the way they want.  The neocons have all sorts of underhanded tactics at their disposal, there is almost nothing they aren't capable of to make this fire burn out of control.

I think the threat to the dollar is very real and very imminent.  I'm not sure how much Obama is treated like a mushroom (kept in the dark and fed shit), but you have to remember that many of his advisors are of the neocon ilk.  His decisions may be based on 'facts' that aren't exactly accurate (echoes of Iraq).

Russia is very aware of the threat against them.  The neighborhood bully (the US) doesn't knock on your door and challenge you to a fight in your front yard unless they are nuts.

kridkrid's picture

If the neocons are as monied as you suggest... and if they do run the shadow government as you put it, then why would they allow Obama to be elected in the first place? I think you're about one step removed from the truth... and it's a very important step.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Assassinations have also been failing as of late.

HardlyZero's picture

Divide and Conquer to the South and West.

South Stream is entering critical phase now so Crimea overthrow will cement the deals.   South Stream is at critical funding point.

The rest is future planning.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Don't kid yourself:  Ukraine wiil be part of NATO in no time.

The more time passes, the more the Kiev Coup/Putsch is solidfied, no matter the level of competence/incompetence.  The US can "print" to near-infinity, as long as the Dollar is the GRC.  And as long as its military-surveillance complex can bully and blackmail world politicians.

sushi's picture

Excellent return on a $5 billion investment.

Cannot think of any better use of those funds. /sarc

saints51's picture

Already priced in.

813kml's picture

That solution is completely logical and rational.

Therefore, it will not be considered.

FieldingMellish's picture

Gold fading now as well even though it was never bullish into the escalation. As for stocks, war is bullish as peace is bullish. There is nowhere else to put your money or at least that is the way things are being painted.

gcjohns1971's picture

I suspect gold fading where you'd expect  it to be rising means something.

 

Just curious... is the Gold chart still showing morning slam-downs?  If so, it may not really mean much beyond a short term trade - people who would be buying gold opting instead for armaments companies, plus the usual manipulation, of course.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

There are only TWO types of gold speculators with guaranteed outcomes: The Insiders, and the Outsiders.  Speculate accordingly.

OTH, when it comes to phyz, feel free to BTFD and keep stacking.

gcjohns1971's picture

Actually, all those points sound very reasonable, except for the 'national language' part - very divisive for there to be two 'official' languages - speaking only of the 'official' part - what people use in their homes and business is their own affair.

 

Of course - is there any reason to think Lavrov has the Russian gov't behind him on this?

gcjohns1971's picture

Okay,

 

I suspect someone didn't like the 'language' part.

 

How about there be only one official language, neither Russian nor Ukranian.

How about French for all official documents and government policies?

Look at what wonders it has done for Canada!

Jorgen's picture

We wonder how long until this too "diplomatic" solution is promptly ignored and forgotten: days or hours?

The last one (back in February), worked out by Germany and France, lasted less than 24 hours...

Yen Cross's picture

Lavrov to NATO:  "Everybody needs to play nice for the Easter w/e"...

 after meeting- Putin to Lavrov: "We can all jump back in the cage Monday morning".

The wheels on the bus are going to fall off's picture

I am not convinced that the West can control the new puppet government, so all of this is going to go pear shaped anyway. The war raging criminals running the country wont accept this pussy bullshit.....

 

magpie's picture

No one expects Munich-backed savages to act civilized.

SoDamnMad's picture

Pay the gas bill West.   Agree to NATO concessions all over Europe.  Give us time to send in more special forces. Then demand referendums and we take eastern Ukraine and the coast.  Sounds fair to me says Lavrov.

PlusTic's picture

and FED got what it wants...the bond mkt is getting slammed

new game's picture

FM says "There is nowhere else to put you money or at least that is they things are being painted."

correct, so keep to cash and take the lose to inflation all while moving to a minmalist plan. Certain classes of bonds backstopped. but still no thanks. We are talking wxcess equity. Savings. Cash or and equivalent that will not be needed for quite some time.  zirp has fucked anybody prudent-this fact, unrefutable. so take you loss to inflation and don't stray from the reservation. some gold to insure the fiat. bit imo no more than 10 percent of this saving amount. the turtle wins even if inflation is now the headwind...

caconhma's picture

What a surprise? Zionist agent and thief Putin supports  the Kiev CIA-installed government and expense of Russian people living in Ukraine.

PS

Zero-Hedge Putin-supporting propaganda is not much different from the US mass media. The only difference is the clothing.

magpie's picture

Zionist agent Putin did nothing about Uljanowsk, i agree. What a faggot.