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Russian Foreign Minister Announces Four Party Agreement On Steps To De-escalate Ukraine Crisis

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Considering how successful diplomatic "solutions" to the Ukraine crisis have been in the past, it is no wonder almost nobody was paying attention to Geneva where today the four parties were holding talks to resolve the Ukraine situation, and moments ago they released, via Russia's Lavrov, a joint statement on "de-escalating the situation." From Bloomberg:

  • LAVROV SAYS DOCUMENT APPROVED ON UKRAINE
  • LAVROV SAYS DOCUMENT ON INITIAL STEPS TO DE-ESCALATE SITUATION
  • 4 PARTIES CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED: LAVROV
  • UKRAINIANS MUST RESOLVE CRISIS THEMSELVES, LAVROV SAYS
  • PARTIES URGE WIDE-RANGING NATIONAL DIALOG IN UKRAINE: LAVROV
  • PARTIES URGE AMNESTY FOR PROTESTERS IN UKRAINE'S EAST: LAVROV
  • UKRAINE NEEDS TO BOLSTER STATUS OF RUSSIAN LANGUAGE: LAVROV

And, approrpiately enough, the Easter Egg:

  • UKRAINE NEEDS DECENTRALIZATION, MORE REGIONAL POWERS: LAVROV

In other words, more referendums? For now stocks aren't reacting exactly bullishly (perhaps because as UBS recently suggested, with a straight face, "war may be bullish for US stocks"), however, oil is lower on the news.

We wonder how long until this too "diplomatic" solution is promptly ignored and forgotten: days or hours?

The Lavrov conference is here:

 

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Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:29 | 4669853 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

The Weather Underground Organization (WUO)

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:36 | 4669883 MrsMerkel
MrsMerkel's picture

Now, I'd be with him on the need for decentralisation and regional powers, if he could convince me this isn't just a ploy to prepare the east for future annexation.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:37 | 4669888 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

This means one of two things:

A) The Russians are pussies and gave up.
B) They have something else up their sleeves. 

If I was held up in some soviet style governmental building, had been pooping in a bucket, and was waiting to get annexed, I'd be MAF right now.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669893 Arius
Arius's picture

i knew it!

Lavrov and Kerry always do deliver!!!

these guys are the best!

 

Edit: on second thought this might be a sticking point:

CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED: LAVROV

what is illegal anyway? does greystone or russian nationalist qualify as illegals? illegal according to whom? one revolutionary seems to be the other's terrorist ...

well, i give it until the weekend ...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669916 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

This has been on the table for two months now.Placed there by Lavrov,

so this is a US capitulation after two months of bluster and escalation..

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:45 | 4669922 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Nonsense! This is Because Obama™. Give him another Nobel Piss Prize. USA! USA! USA!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:54 | 4669953 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

That is because no one on the Western side is interested in a resoultion that doesn't include non-russian energy going through Ukrainian pipes. 

And no one on the Eastern side is interested in a solution that does include it...

But they can't say that.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:25 | 4670056 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Yes Ukraine, we agree to allow peace in your Eastern region AS LONG AS YOU AGREE TO RUSSIAN TERMS. Signed, the world powers who sold you out.

Putin: 1+infinity

Pigeon: 0

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:52 | 4669942 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Lavrov is clearly superior to Kerry because...

he doesn't have a horseface.

 

Otherwise they are pretty much the same imaginary person.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:52 | 4669943 Payne
Payne's picture

Isn't the current Government of Ukraine, illegal and unelected ?  Call for immediate elections !

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:05 | 4669989 Fíréan
Fíréan's picture

What if " annexation" was the plan from the go/start, for the top dogs on both sides, and the method to get to that agreement  there having to be a situation by which the final  result is mutual agreed solution to a  problem . those who have to do so look tough and stood their ground, the people fall into line and agree with the compromise.

Every body flexed their proverbial muscles and nobody looked the wimp. Lots of heavy rhetoric ( or really lots of bullshit) pompous, self righteous  propoganda to impress the "folks" back at home watching it all on tv. All the parties involved, some of whom would never have agreed to the solution ( annexaion), feel as if they have stood their ground. Yet the problem, the conflict  being created in the first place for the annexaiton to be the mutually agreed solution, because all the other solutions or outcomes are are too damning to both sides .

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:13 | 4670227 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

nothing was mentioned by Lavrov or Kerry about Crimea annexation and any western continued protest about the annexation - means? - more referendums to come and Federation is a cinch for the south and east -

US & EU get the debt, the west and the Fascists as the booby prize -

Question:  will Nuland get fired for her lousy myopyic vision that should have been obvious (overcommitted and under performed)

or

be rewarded and given another country to destablize?

 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:31 | 4669862 Zest
Zest's picture

I'm curious what the Russian strategy is, seeing how NATO plans to set up camp just outside their doorstep.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:33 | 4669873 john39
john39's picture

Russia watches while kiev regime implodes...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:34 | 4669876 saints51
saints51's picture

Russian strategy will set up camp with submarines outside Nato allies borders.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:50 | 4669934 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Close the Bosporus.

 

Any other problems?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:34 | 4669878 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

No NATO, its not negotiable.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:06 | 4669915 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Open the borders with Russia.  Free trade zone.  Free movement between Russia and Ukraine.  Open borders.

 

Transnistria remains and has since 1991.  That will probably be the end-game in a few years, including Odessa.  The entire southern region would landlock Ukraine so will be the final putsch along with Kiev.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:32 | 4669865 jubber
jubber's picture

another excuse for a rip your face off rally?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:33 | 4669866 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

So we are back with what  Russia wanted from the getgo.

A loose Federation, and no NATO in their backyard.Plus the bonus of Crimea.

I give it about a day before the neocons doublecross on the deal again.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:34 | 4669879 813kml
813kml's picture

The neocons are rapidly escalating in order to prevent Obama any recourse.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:48 | 4669928 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Respectfully,

I expect the 'Neocons' say whatever the the lobby that bought them, tells them to say - same as the democrats.

I expect a Gulf-bought lobby is telling them that if Russia is tied up in Ukraine that they won't be able to continue blocking pipelines through Syria.

I expect a Euro lobby will be saying that if the US is to remain at the head of the table, they must show they are able to provide access to strategic resources - like Energy.

I expect another Euro lobby will be saying that the whole reason for NATO rather than an EU Army is to prevent the very sorts of land-grabs going on right now.

I expect the US defense lobby will be saying that the US' credibility is at stake, and that reductions in defense - as currently planned ( and a necessity by the way) - are a foolish move at times like these.

No one is going to listen to people who say....

Condemn the whole affair and all involved, but otherwise mind our own business.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:59 | 4669977 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

You say that like the neocons and Obama don't serve the same master.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:06 | 4669999 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

They might appear to.
You just can't find good help these days.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:39 | 4669897 redpill
redpill's picture

CIA-arranged coup didn't work in Ukraine, the false flag chem weapons didn't work in Syria, the warmonger playbook is getting pretty thin at this point!  Diplomatic assassinations next?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:42 | 4669911 813kml
813kml's picture

It is yet to be seen how Ukraine plays out.  I suspect that the neocons will get the confrontation they want so badly.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:08 | 4670003 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

In your opinion, does Obama want something different? The President supported the lies that were told in Syria in an attempt to engage Russia there... do you believe that the President isn't aware of the CIA's activity in the Ukraine?

I think it's important for people to recognize that we are in Bush's 4th term (or Clinton's 6th or GHWB's 7th or RR's 9th, etc. etc. etc). Anything else is a lie you tell to yourself .

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:29 | 4670073 813kml
813kml's picture

I think that Obama does want a peaceful resolution, but ultimately maybe be forced to act.  He doesn't have control of the shadow government, the neocons have the money and reach to start enough fires to force him to respond the way they want.  The neocons have all sorts of underhanded tactics at their disposal, there is almost nothing they aren't capable of to make this fire burn out of control.

I think the threat to the dollar is very real and very imminent.  I'm not sure how much Obama is treated like a mushroom (kept in the dark and fed shit), but you have to remember that many of his advisors are of the neocon ilk.  His decisions may be based on 'facts' that aren't exactly accurate (echoes of Iraq).

Russia is very aware of the threat against them.  The neighborhood bully (the US) doesn't knock on your door and challenge you to a fight in your front yard unless they are nuts.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 16:15 | 4670737 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

If the neocons are as monied as you suggest... and if they do run the shadow government as you put it, then why would they allow Obama to be elected in the first place? I think you're about one step removed from the truth... and it's a very important step.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:44 | 4669919 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Assassinations have also been failing as of late.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:45 | 4669923 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Divide and Conquer to the South and West.

South Stream is entering critical phase now so Crimea overthrow will cement the deals.   South Stream is at critical funding point.

The rest is future planning.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:02 | 4669982 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Great Scott!

He gets it!!!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:56 | 4669958 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Don't kid yourself:  Ukraine wiil be part of NATO in no time.

The more time passes, the more the Kiev Coup/Putsch is solidfied, no matter the level of competence/incompetence.  The US can "print" to near-infinity, as long as the Dollar is the GRC.  And as long as its military-surveillance complex can bully and blackmail world politicians.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:35 | 4670086 sushi
sushi's picture

Excellent return on a $5 billion investment.

Cannot think of any better use of those funds. /sarc

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:32 | 4669867 saints51
saints51's picture

Already priced in.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669869 813kml
813kml's picture

That solution is completely logical and rational.

Therefore, it will not be considered.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:34 | 4669872 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Gold fading now as well even though it was never bullish into the escalation. As for stocks, war is bullish as peace is bullish. There is nowhere else to put your money or at least that is the way things are being painted.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:38 | 4669890 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

I suspect gold fading where you'd expect  it to be rising means something.

 

Just curious... is the Gold chart still showing morning slam-downs?  If so, it may not really mean much beyond a short term trade - people who would be buying gold opting instead for armaments companies, plus the usual manipulation, of course.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:59 | 4669974 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

There are only TWO types of gold speculators with guaranteed outcomes: The Insiders, and the Outsiders.  Speculate accordingly.

OTH, when it comes to phyz, feel free to BTFD and keep stacking.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:35 | 4669880 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Actually, all those points sound very reasonable, except for the 'national language' part - very divisive for there to be two 'official' languages - speaking only of the 'official' part - what people use in their homes and business is their own affair.

 

Of course - is there any reason to think Lavrov has the Russian gov't behind him on this?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:05 | 4669997 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Okay,

 

I suspect someone didn't like the 'language' part.

 

How about there be only one official language, neither Russian nor Ukranian.

How about French for all official documents and government policies?

Look at what wonders it has done for Canada!

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:45 | 4669881 Jorgen
Jorgen's picture

We wonder how long until this too "diplomatic" solution is promptly ignored and forgotten: days or hours?

The last one (back in February), worked out by Germany and France, lasted less than 24 hours...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:36 | 4669886 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Lavrov to NATO:  "Everybody needs to play nice for the Easter w/e"...

 after meeting- Putin to Lavrov: "We can all jump back in the cage Monday morning".

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:38 | 4669892 The wheels on t...
The wheels on the bus are going to fall off's picture

I am not convinced that the West can control the new puppet government, so all of this is going to go pear shaped anyway. The war raging criminals running the country wont accept this pussy bullshit.....

 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:40 | 4669899 magpie
magpie's picture

No one expects Munich-backed savages to act civilized.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:40 | 4669898 SoDamnMad
SoDamnMad's picture

Pay the gas bill West.   Agree to NATO concessions all over Europe.  Give us time to send in more special forces. Then demand referendums and we take eastern Ukraine and the coast.  Sounds fair to me says Lavrov.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669904 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

and FED got what it wants...the bond mkt is getting slammed

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:42 | 4669905 new game
new game's picture

FM says "There is nowhere else to put you money or at least that is they things are being painted."

correct, so keep to cash and take the lose to inflation all while moving to a minmalist plan. Certain classes of bonds backstopped. but still no thanks. We are talking wxcess equity. Savings. Cash or and equivalent that will not be needed for quite some time.  zirp has fucked anybody prudent-this fact, unrefutable. so take you loss to inflation and don't stray from the reservation. some gold to insure the fiat. bit imo no more than 10 percent of this saving amount. the turtle wins even if inflation is now the headwind...

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669913 caconhma
caconhma's picture

What a surprise? Zionist agent and thief Putin supports  the Kiev CIA-installed government and expense of Russian people living in Ukraine.

PS

Zero-Hedge Putin-supporting propaganda is not much different from the US mass media. The only difference is the clothing.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:45 | 4669921 magpie
magpie's picture

Zionist agent Putin did nothing about Uljanowsk, i agree. What a faggot.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:43 | 4669914 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture
  • 4 PARTIES CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED: LAVROV

Groups respond: "No!"

 

Okay, agreement is null and void.

 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:44 | 4669918 free_lunch
free_lunch's picture

This will be the first and only step: 4 PARTIES CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED

After that the people are defenceless against IMF financial weapons of mass poverty.

 

You can view it as a sign of weakness from Russia to agree on disarming their fanbase in Ukraine.

Or it could be another chess move, wellknowing that the IMF policy will result in a revolution when patient (see Greece, Spain, Italy mass protests). Part of their strategy could be, avoiding military confrontation untill the dollar colapses and the EU falls apart. While the BRICS set up a new and healty financial system of their own, dumping the dollar..

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:55 | 4669946 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

+1 - it is the old soviet georgia playbook

 

step 1) take away deer rifles.

step 2) invade

 

they tried the old usa playbook

 

step 1) install puppet regime

step 2) not req'd

 

but it didn't work out as planned

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:03 | 4669987 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Just out of curiousity: when did the Soviets invade Georgia?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:07 | 4670002 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

1919

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:29 | 4670072 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Actually it was in 1921-22, but I doubt that Bolsheviks had disarmed Georgia prior to invading it. 

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 14:11 | 4670199 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_9_tragedy

1989, perhaps "invade" was the wrong word?

quote: The local Georgian militsiya (police) units were disarmed just before the operation.[1]

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:59 | 4669935 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Who pays for all these immediate (expensive) actions ?  Illegal will be subjective so will require many expensive lawyers to determine and years to adjudicate.

Did they agree who pays and who pays for the Ukraine fuel .... the US$5B in immediate fuel required for next EU Winter ?

Details...

  • UKRAINIANS MUST RESOLVE CRISIS THEMSELVES, LAVROV SAYS
Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:10 | 4670011 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

That's the crux of it:

The energy problem must be resolved first  - NOT just the Ukranian energy problem, but the European one who is fed by those same pipes.

Any fix without that first will go straight back to crisis in a short time.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 12:57 | 4669970 White Owl
White Owl's picture

This is the key of the statement Lavrov made: 4 PARTIES CALL FOR ILLEGAL ARMED GROUPS TO BE DISARMED.

What is legal is not necessarily lawful by definition of international treaties and historical laws.

What is IL-legal is not necessarily UN-lawful.

How this is to be interpreted by all 4 parties is simply to ask yourself this question: By what lawful basis is the term 'illegal' going to be defined? Will it be defined by international law, Ukrainian Constitutional law, current Ukrainian coup law, EU law, Russian Federation law, or US law?

That's why not a single armed group in the Ukraine will be disarmed.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 15:00 | 4670429 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

Everyone knows its the law of the jungle that will decide who keeps their guns.

No one in their right mind is going to agree to Lavrov's key statement.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:08 | 4670005 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Is the freedom fighters at the Bundy ranch an "illegal armed group"?

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:13 | 4670022 White Owl
White Owl's picture

While the FED may say they are an illegally armed group, the fact remains that they are lawfully armed according to the Nevada Constitituion.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:20 | 4670047 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Peace in our time.  Glad this is all over.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 13:53 | 4670148 Phuk u
Phuk u's picture

This will allow all parties to regroup, rethink and go home for Easter(the Orthodox and Catholic for once falling on the same weekend).

Hopefully it will also buy time for the Presidential elections to go ahead next month. The fact that

a major pipeline goes through Ukraine heating Europe and providing funds to the Kremlin

had nothing to do with this 'agreement' in Geneva today.

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 17:51 | 4670998 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Just when I thought I knew it all I learned something new today about Russians.  There are still bags of crap dragged back from Russia last fall and in one bag were some uninflated balloons.  Of course the kids find this stuff but no one could blow up those balloons.  I really do not need balloons underfoot but they seem to be a common feature around here to stumble upon in the middle of the night.  

"Dad, can you blow up this balloon for us?" I was asked.  "No problem" I replied.

I think I have a leaking lung now.  You can not inflate these damned balloons.  I stretched the balloon and did all of that shit as the Mrs was laughing at me.  It was a huge fail in the end.  She finally told me that you can't blow up Russian balloons.  Yeah, I guess not.  She had a good laugh at me for trying though.

Then she dropped the bombshell statement; "When we were kids if we wanted balloon we would use condoms to make balloon".  What?  How does one even respond to that statement?  Ten years later, I still do not understand.

Now you know.  I am going to go get the air compressor out now damn it.   

Thu, 04/17/2014 - 18:34 | 4671116 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

THE US NEEDS DECENTRALIZATION, MORE REGIONAL POWERS

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