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Peak Smuggling: Indian Has 12 Gold Bars Removed From His Stomach

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While US central bankers seem to believe that you can eat iPads, it seems one Indian fellow has taken the ongoing restrictions on gold imports, owning, or transacting in India to a whole new level. As we have noted previously - have led to an epidemic of smuggling as Indians continue to horde the precious metal (the only true source of financial security in their view) by any means possible. As The BBC reports, 12 bars of gold have been removed from the stomach of a 63-year-old businessman in the Indian capital Delhi. The surgeon said he had never seen a "case like this before," and customs officials were called and confiscated the gold - where whistleblowers for gold smuggling are rewarded more richly than for cocaine and heroine smuggling.

 

 

As The BBC reports, and as we have noted before, India, the world's largest consumer of gold, has seen a record rise in smuggling after a rise in duty on imports of metal to curb the current account deficit.

Last year India's government hiked the import duty on gold three times to curb demand for the precious metal. Gold imports, which had peaked at 162,000kg in May 2013, came down to 19,300kg in November after the hike.

But this takes the proverbial biscuit...

Twelve bars of gold have been recovered from the stomach of a businessman in the Indian capital, Delhi, a surgeon treating him has said.

 

The 63-year-old man was admitted to hospital after complaining of vomiting and difficulty defecating.

 

He told his doctor that he had swallowed a bottle cap in anger, after a fight with his wife.

 

But when surgeons operated they found gold bars weighing nearly 400g (14oz) in his stomach instead of a bottle cap.

 

Doctors, who performed the operation on 9 April, told the BBC that police and customs authorities had questioned the businessman and confiscated the gold.

 

...

 

According to hospital sources, the man had swallowed the 12 gold biscuits to smuggle them into the country from Singapore 10 days ago.

Dr CS Ramachandran, a senior surgeon at Delhi's Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, said he had never seen a "case like this in my life".

"This is the first time I have recovered gold from the stomach of a patient. I remember having taken out a bladder stone weighing 1kg from a patient. But finding gold in a patient's stomach was something unbelievable...We found 12 gold bars lying in a stack in his stomach."

 

The businessman, who had undergone four stomach surgeries in the past and is a diabetic, was admitted to the hospital earlier this month, with symptoms of "acute intestinal obstruction", Dr Ramachandran added.

One wonders whether the previous 4 surgeries were gold-bar-related? And this time - since the rules changed... doctors decided to tell customs...because rather remarkably, as we noted previously,

In a sign of the times, whistleblowers who help bust illegal gold shipments can get a bigger reward in India than those who help catch cocaine and heroin smugglers.

Because that makes a so much sense.

“There has been a several-fold increase in gold smuggling this year after restrictions from the government, which has left narcotics behind.”

 

That suggests official data showing a sharp fall in gold buying, which has helped narrow India’s current account gap, may significantly underestimate the real level of gold flows.

 

Last week, Sri Lanka limited the amount of jewellery its residents can take out of the country and it will try to monitor whether they bring it back. Pakistan banned all gold imports in August for a month as it believed much was being smuggled on into India.

 

Indian gold premiums have soared to $130 an ounce over London prices due to the supply crunch, compared with about $2 an ounce in Hong Kong, Singapore and Thailand.

 

In June, a passenger flying from Dubai was caught at New Delhi airport with about 755 grams (1.7 lbs) of solid gold staples painted grey. Officials stopped the man because the cardboard boxes he was carrying were stapled far more than seemed necessary.

Simply genius.

“We are trying to plug all the loopholes. We have strengthened our anti-smuggling staff and installed door metal detectors,” said S.A.S. Navaz, deputy commissioner of customs in the south Indian city of Kochi. “We are spending sleepless nights.

Sleepless nights because citizens want to buy a piece of yellow metal. You might have bigger problems than gold champ.

In an effort to change that, Mumbai customs offers a reward of up to 50,000 rupees per kg of bullion seized for informers in gold smuggling cases. Cocaine and heroin informers get only up to 40,000 rupees and 20,000 rupees respectively.

Idiots.

 

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Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:53 | 4677511 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Gold bitchez!

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:57 | 4677516 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

- 1 to the rat doctors who called Customs and the cops.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:04 | 4677537 remain calm
remain calm's picture

That man was over heard upon awakening from anesthesia saying, " I could have had a V-8"

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:29 | 4677581 JoeSexPack
JoeSexPack's picture

Extra curry should pass that.

 

If not, then cheese-filled, deep-fried jalapenos.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:39 | 4677606 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

That was my uncle. Old fuck cant realize we value gold more than his fucking useless life! Even his wife, my aunt, is ruing the the day she married this bum. Fuck you uncle. Rot in prison you moron. Could've easily gained Moksha by now if only he hadnt gone to the docs...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:46 | 4677617 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

If I was that doctor, I would have ordered a nurse to go buy me a soda pop before the patient awoke.  I would then pop the cap and give it to him while I was drinking the soda.

"Hey, I found the problem.  I thought you might want to keep this as a souvenir."

Later that evening I would be packing my bags for a quiet island get-away somewhere in the Indian Ocean.  Fiji is nice.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:21 | 4677673 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Yes but the problem with gold is that you can't eat it.

Oh wait...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:39 | 4677700 zhandax
zhandax's picture

He could eat it, he just couldn't shit it out.  Poor health has a way of doing that to a person.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 16:12 | 4677754 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

… the doctor reported the findings to the authorities and customs officials … who promptly confiscated the gold … and split it amongst themselves.”

 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 16:54 | 4677835 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

“We are trying to plug all the loopholes......"

Uh, you mean buttholes?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:32 | 4677917 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

The Indina Medical Board needs to yank that doctor's license ... violating doctor-patient confidentiality.

[yeah, right....]

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 21:39 | 4678426 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"This is the first time I have recovered gold from the stomach of a patient. I remember having taken out a bladder stone weighing 1kg from a patient. But finding gold in a patient's stomach was something unbelievable...We found 12 gold bars lying in a stack in his stomach."

 

The businessman, who had undergone four stomach surgeries in the past and is a diabetic, was admitted to the hospital earlier this month, with symptoms of "acute intestinal obstruction", Dr Ramachandran added."

 

 

Breaking on CNBC -  Gold causes Diab-eat-us.   Sell.  Sell.  Sell.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 18:21 | 4678026 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Just had an awesome smuggling idea; find someone with only one eye and make a gold fake eye for his other, creepy, weepy gaping red hole.

He can smuggle an eye of gold or diamonds every flight!

Hey, you can also smuge gold in your teeth!

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 20:28 | 4678301 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Transport Osmium, transport iridium, because pretty much nobody knows what the fuck they are.

 

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:40 | 4679411 Armchair Bear
Armchair Bear's picture

at $130 per ounce over spot, that's only around $1500 profit for the twelve bars...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:34 | 4677594 PersonalRespons...
PersonalResponsibility's picture

It's just some metal.  Id rather have some egg laying hens and some goats.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:53 | 4677719 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

I'll take the metal and when you can't afford your mortgage/rent I'll buy your land, hens, and goats for just some metal.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:07 | 4677654 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

THE REALITY OF GOLD IN AMERICA- IT IS MISSING, MANIPULATED & MONITORED. 

If you have not seen it last night on the History Channel or do not live in THE GOOD OL' USA, you can watch this fascinating documentary from the History Channel and Prometheus Entertainment right here: Kudos to the people who made it.

http://12160.info/group/embedding-is-not-a-crime/page/watch-michael-rive...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:56 | 4677518 q99x2
q99x2's picture

They talked about golden hemorrhoids in the Bible. Pretty sure this is not a new phenomena.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:56 | 4677519 Silverballs
Silverballs's picture

I would love to party with that guy!!

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:18 | 4677563 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Would have been one hell of a poop....no doubt.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:57 | 4677521 Bluntly Put
Bluntly Put's picture

Idiots

Oh it's gone far beyond that, now we have institutionalized idiocy into full blown Idiocracy.

,

 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:57 | 4677523 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Man, stick 'em up your ass after your morning constitutional then jump on the plane.

I'd bet those bars couldn't get past his stomach's sphincter.

Big picture, it's the Indian .gov's fault.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:43 | 4677703 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

He should have bought 8 of those 50g Valcambi gold bars and broke each of them up into 1 gram "skittles".  He could have mixed them all up in a nice steaming bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal and sat around the house for the next day or two honking like a goose everytime he lays his golden eggs.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:57 | 4677524 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Looks like everyone in the story has their prioroties straight!

Wouldn't sharting out a brick rip you a new one?

People are weird. How come the metal detectors did not go off?

 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4677528 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Another good thing about Gold; takes a specific detector to find it.

Airport detectors are for gun type metals, not PM's.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:14 | 4677558 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Interesting, did not know that. Thanks.

ori

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:24 | 4677574 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

May come in handy down the road there ORI ;-)

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 18:15 | 4677704 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Depends on the tuning.  My watch doesn't set off one at work, but does set off the other.  There is a LCD readout at the top with a numerical scale.  One triggers around 120 and the other around 90.  Non-ferrous metals and stainless steel seem to be detected less, but a tight tuning will detect them.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:58 | 4677633 4 Freedoms
4 Freedoms's picture

I hate to burst your bubble.  I had several Au bars in my pants, going thru airport security in the US.  The detectors found them.  I had to show the bars, but I kept them and proceeded to my flight. 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:40 | 4677694 IdeasRbulletproof
IdeasRbulletproof's picture

U did a full body scan? Or walk thru? My chain has never caused the detector to go off. Belts, watches, wallet maybe. But never my gold...

Next time, choose to walk thru, you will have no problem.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:26 | 4680648 FinalEvent
FinalEvent's picture

Gold plated plastic is not dense enough

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:38 | 4677697 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I stand corrected - damn T.S.A.

According to this, shows up in X-Ray because it is dense; thanks for the heads-up.

http://snallabolaget.com/?page_id=170

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 18:40 | 4678081 laboratorymike
laboratorymike's picture

Correct me if I'm wrong, but...

Walk-through detectors rely on magnetic fields, which picks up iron (steel in guns).

Full body scanners using millimeter waves pick up anything dense that is not below the skin. So any metal in pockets.

Full body scanners using X-rays will get everything.

But hey, it's for your freedom(tm)!

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:21 | 4677671 FinalEvent
FinalEvent's picture

Thanks for the advice.

Next time I will take one of these with me in the plane

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/30/ak47.jpg

You never know these days,... all those terristststststst

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:29 | 4677689 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Negative "ghost pilot" . A round of Maple Leafs,Krugerrands,will set off the sensors.

 Just do it carry-on as jewelry.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:58 | 4677525 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

They left the 20 1oz silver bars up his ass alone. They were not worth recovering and it's on him now to crap them out.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 13:59 | 4677527 novictim
novictim's picture

<--Weapons

< --Food

 

Which is the "real" true source of financial wealth?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4677529 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I guess that's the true definition of "tank ass?"

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:01 | 4677531 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Wish I had the ability to literally shit gold.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:22 | 4677569 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Fifth of Goldschläger should do the trick.

p.s. too bad that guy didn't shit it out like he thought he would. Pyloric sphincter said "nuh-uh, not happening."

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:36 | 4677600 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

@ Skateboarder  are you sure you aren't lieing about your age? 

  
      I just found a bottle of  Goldschläger "circa '90's" in my cottage. (not a joke)  I was dealing with a bee-hive above the water heater at the time.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 20:27 | 4678297 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

That should still be drinkable. I recently found in my things a flimsy Peruvian soda bottle with about two swigs left of homemade Peruvian moonshine that my friend gifted me in '06. I doubt it will ever go bad. ;-)

We had a beehive in the house once - in the wall of my sister's room. It was a sudden explosion of bees over a month's time, buzzing away at night. Poor girl had to sleep through that. We had 'em humanely removed, but man... bees in your walls aint fun.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:05 | 4677542 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

Someone should sell 'novelty' .999 gold buttplugs. Lube not included.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:17 | 4677561 Rican
Rican's picture

What's the market for curry-scented gold?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:30 | 4677580 giggler321
giggler321's picture

That's what happens when you ban something, they'll stick anything in a golden boy condom just to see if they'll get over border.

If I was him I'd plead overindulgence at a party where they had real edible gold.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:35 | 4677597 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

"I thought I was eating those gold-wrapper chocolates."

"Then why didn't you take off the wrappers?"

"Uhh... I was in a hurry, and I was really hungry!"

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:31 | 4677586 infowars1971
infowars1971's picture

no need to do that with bitcoin bitcoin wins

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:17 | 4677667 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

He was smuggling gold into the country. Bitcoin is good for smuggling wealth out of a country. 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:31 | 4677587 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I was told by a South African friend years ago of how he smuggled gold out of the country by putting gold in the hollow handle bars of an old lawn mower which he sent with a container of furniture.

There is always a way.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 18:44 | 4678089 laboratorymike
laboratorymike's picture

A number of chemical supply companies also sell platinum labware for experiments that don't do well with glass. Replacing a roll of solder with platinum wire may do the trick.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:41 | 4677588 RaiZH
RaiZH's picture

Is all that really necessary? Surely you can just slip it into your hand luggage and the chances of getting caught by customs is miniscule, or in your back pocket considering metal detectors aren't tuned to detect PMs anyway. 

If they attempt to stop you... just throw a mere 1000 rupees at them and walk on. (I know this from experience)

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:38 | 4677589 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Ron Paul: "Why do central banks hold gold?"

Bernanke: "Tradition"

Ron Paul: "Why do Indian men eat gold before a flight to India?"

Bernanke: "ehh, Tradition?"

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:05 | 4677649 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Why do Jewish women have gold IUD's?

Jewish men always like coming into gold.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:55 | 4677590 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:35 | 4677598 Caveman93
Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:36 | 4677599 zjxn06
zjxn06's picture

Barbarous relic. Why does the indian government care?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:49 | 4677621 linniepar
linniepar's picture

The FedRes told them to care.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:04 | 4677647 RaiZH
Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:44 | 4677613 observer007
observer007's picture

Kuala Lumpur-Bangalore  (India) Flight

 

Another Malaysia Airlines flight forced to turn back after..

 

Malaysian Airlines has reported that its Kuala Lumpur-Bangalore Flight MH192 has made an emergency air turn back and is now returning to Kuala Lumpur.

Latest:

http://tersee.com/#!q=Malaysia+Airlines&t=text

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:54 | 4677630 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Where is MH370?

Not where they are searching.

Did it fly North?

Probably.

So where could it have gone?

Various places are logically realistic: Diego Garcia, Almaty at Zhetygen, Qamdo Bamda airport Tibet.

Cui Bono?

Well, who do you think?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:37 | 4677698 flyingcaveman
flyingcaveman's picture

That's a shit ton of gold onboard when you overheat your brakes enough to blow out the fuse plug on taxi out. 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:45 | 4677616 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thar's gold in them thar Tamils.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:49 | 4677620 Mr Giggles
Mr Giggles's picture

$100.00 to the first Indian to get a 400 oz bar up his rectum, and sit still on the plane.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:50 | 4677622 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

We cannot have a slave taking real money from one slave pen to another.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:50 | 4677624 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Apparently, you can't shit gold too...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:49 | 4677956 CHX
CHX's picture

of course you can, a golden shit nugget

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 14:50 | 4677626 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

It's good to see the indian government taking such care of its citizens.

This gold is dangerous stuff and should be kept out of the hands of the Indian people, in case they accidentally swallow it!

Why don't folks hoard the rupee instead, much safer and more digestible...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:04 | 4677855 Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder's picture

Only terrorist like gold.... /sarc

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:00 | 4677636 Stinko da Munk
Stinko da Munk's picture

I just feel so old. Used to be folks respected the honorable tradition of hiding gold in your ass. Nowadays it's all Facebook, the Twitter, Instagram and those crazy kids are swalloing the relic. I miss the good old days.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:00 | 4677637 Roger Shermanator
Roger Shermanator's picture

And they say you can't eat gold...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:02 | 4677641 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I was told you could not eat gold.  This guy ate gold.  Deal with it.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:19 | 4677658 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

There is no problem eating gold.
Just the small problem of digestion. Or should I say Indiagestion.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:03 | 4677642 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Hope he washed those before he spread 'em out in his hands.

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:07 | 4677653 Burticus
Burticus's picture

When I shared this article with my lady friend, she said, "Now, they have to hide their gold in their cocaine!"

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 05:07 | 4678837 mt paul
mt paul's picture

shhhhhhh

no chocolate for you...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 15:19 | 4677670 Acidtest Dummy
Acidtest Dummy's picture

Prohibition is an ignorant, desperate and temporary measure. It fails in such predictable ways (I bet) people bank on it. You'd think there was no institutional memory -- no secretary somewhere saying, "Last time we tried this all our poor and marginalized people became smugglers." No middle manager saying, "We might as well just institute price supports." No politician saying, "I am stocking up before we pass this law."

 

 

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:02 | 4677849 mc225
mc225's picture

'heroine smuggling'... and probably even heroin smuggling

 

so what does 'heroine smuggling' entail? kidnapping wonder woman and sneaking her across the border?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 00:02 | 4678644 StychoKiller
Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:30 | 4677908 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

you can't take it with you!

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 17:47 | 4677949 CHX
CHX's picture

If true, he had some stomach...

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 20:35 | 4677984 Ckierst1
Ckierst1's picture

I really can't understand why he did one ounce gold bars.  They make some really nice small denomination gold bullion coins for that purpose.  Maybe if you take a one tenth ouncer every other mouthful of a full blown turkey dinner.  Maybe it was the higher premium?  But compared to a whistleblowing gastro surgeon?  Does gold bullion require Beano?

Sun, 04/20/2014 - 23:38 | 4678614 bilbert
bilbert's picture

Nope - requires Auno

Pronounced "Aw no" 

Ask for it by name............

B

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 06:51 | 4678901 esum
esum's picture

yeah but they missed his 25 lb gold testicles.... 

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 08:23 | 4679006 the6thBook
the6thBook's picture

I counted 13.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:31 | 4680044 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

You'd be far safer making gold bars into a belt with other metals than to swallow it unless you plan on entering far, far away from metal-detectors.
Plus rehearsing with your most serious & surprised-face: "but don't be absurd: sir, everyone knows you can not eat your gold!"

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