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Have No Fear, Joe Biden Is Here (Or Rather, In Kiev)

Tyler Durden's picture


John Kerry (and more secretly, John Brennan) came, saw, and failed miserably, and repeatedly, to "de-escalate" (or, re-escalate in the case of the CIA visit) the Ukraine situation. So the time has come to bring out the bug gun. Sure enough, heeeeere's Joe, as he arrived in Ukraine. And now sit back and watch as world peace breaks out in 5.... 4.... 3....

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Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:48 | 4679211 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679230 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Your name is Dzho Biden, you have it under control.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679237 Looney
Looney's picture

I hope he brought his donkey dentures with him ;-)


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679249 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

another chicken in kiev

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:08 | 4679298 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

He looks like proto CIA... 50 years ago.

Think 'Operation 40'.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:49 | 4679446 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Joe Biden - Lifetime Council on Foreign Relations member. Installed as Obama's running mate by those who think they wield true power. Beneath the goofy Uncle Joe exterior is a sinister puppet who would not only sell his soul to his masters, but he would send it COD.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:52 | 4679453 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Come on Joe where is your BLACK MASK

I guess security in Maidan must be better than the last time Biden was in there wearing a black mask with Brenner while Nuland was giving cookies, now he can just sport some shades.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 19:45 | 4681176 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!"


Lies, damn Lies!   The real Uncle Joe would be asking why the local girls are all using Valley Speak right about now.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 22:24 | 4681515 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

O.K., Ukraine, here's the deal:

We'll pay your gas bill if you just KEEP the motherfucker.

It doesn't matter why. Slash his airplane tires; arrest him for being stupid in public; ANYTHING, but DON't let him LEAVE!


We already paid your gas bill? SHIT...

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 14:35 | 4680268 Leaping Lizard
Leaping Lizard's picture

You mean he is not as stupid as he appears?  Who coulda guessed?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:22 | 4679352 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

This might actually work. Everybody will be exhausted from laughing at him.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4679375 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

nice...I was gonna say, tough to aim and fire when you're laughing your ass off!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:47 | 4679443 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Lookout world, here comes the Chicken Hawk, on his Chicken Run.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:43 | 4680094 Phuk u
Phuk u's picture

Chicken Hawk ? More like Chicken Kiev.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679254 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

And did he bring his shot gun??

He only needs to fire two shots out the window and the bad guys will go away!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:00 | 4679266 Looney
Looney's picture

Nah... he's already discharged it into the pilot's face? ;-)


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:03 | 4679276 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Why didn't he save taxpayer money and hitch a ride with top spook Brennan earlier this month? Oops, that didn't happen, shhhhhh.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:08 | 4679306 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

Biden is there...just like Nuland said he would be...to meet with the US' favored neo-Nazis.

/When a meeting with Biden is your 'prize' you are truly a suck-wad player in a crappy nation.

//Slightly better than backing over your dog in the driveway, but not much.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:14 | 4679324 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Which will leave the admitted Zionist in quite the quandry

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679330 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Next try Jesse Jackson and after that try Dennis Rodman.  Then, if all else fails, send Mickey Mouse.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:27 | 4679359 V in PA
V in PA's picture

He said "save taxpayer money". Hah!

If they didn't spend(waste) it, they would have a hard time asking for (stealing) more.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:09 | 4679307 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Looks more like "Joey Bag of Dumbass".

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:23 | 4679360 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

+1 for the moes burrito

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:28 | 4679377 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

speaking of which, its moe monday, and that means a homewrecker and drink for 7 fitty!  now I'm hungry and dont feel like making eggs.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:32 | 4680047 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

anyone know who he wavin at?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679231 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Biden is dumb enough to set himself up as the "Archduke Ferdinand" black swan event.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:10 | 4679300 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

Wooderson says, "Alright, alright, alright".



Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:12 | 4679321 nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

I think you have something there... I always watch this guy through my face palm, wondering how he is where he is.  But now it all makes sense.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:39 | 4679410 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

i hadnt even thought of that, but yes, it does make perfect sense. i fucking hope not. if ANYTHING happens, even if it is obviously the US sponsored neo nazis, there will be a scramble to link it to pro-russian types, maybe even to putin himself, as if putin would actually do something that stupid. Just like everytime there is some kind of mass shooting, there is a scramble by the media to try to link this person to the tea party or paint them as some kind of 'right wing extremist'

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:44 | 4679430 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I hope he brought his shotgun. He can fire it up in the air from his balcony 3 times if he gets into trouble.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:00 | 4679477 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

you have probably seen this, but heres some women testing joes theory of self defense...



Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:50 | 4679637 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Saddam Hussein used to walk around with a shotgun.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:16 | 4679334 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

In a way, 9/11 raised the bar on "black swans". Though Biden's Archduke Ferdinand moment might do it.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:20 | 4679344 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture

My thoughts exactly. This whole mess has had the stench of the hubris and arrogance of 1914 on it.  It would appear both sides are eager to move this forward into war.  Both the "leaflet" incident and yesterday's shoot out have failed to create the necessary "hot" incident.  So let's bring in idiot Joe.  If there is anyone who personifies that perfect combination of21st century hubris and arrogance he is it.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:47 | 4679441 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Syria was a lot like this as well (continues to be so). I would say it's a lot like Japan and the US's attempts to bait them into conflict in the build up to Pearl Harbor. It would seem that we are doing everything we can to bait russia. A little hybrid approach between WWI and WWII would make sense.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:59 | 4679663 Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

"All of you slaughtered Ukrainians made it worth the trip!"

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:22 | 4680635 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Biden wouldn't set himself up as Archduke Ferdinand, but he is dumb enough to let Hitlary set him up as Vince Foster.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:55 | 4679248 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

Is kim k. near?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:58 | 4679263 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

In the news tomorrow - great quantities of oil and gas (shale) has been discovered in Ukraine. Monsanto is also interested in Europes largest granary. Senator McCains office has just announced that he has departed to Ukraine for yet another fact finding mission.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679333 holmes
holmes's picture

Joe thinks he's campainging for votes in Kansas.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:48 | 4679213 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

Joe Biden is throwing a monkey wrench into Jay Carney's massive RSX short.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:24 | 4679370 intric8
intric8's picture

Who the fuck welcomed him to warrent such a cheesy smile?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679214 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

The fuckin clown has arrived, let the party begin!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:00 | 4679265 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

He really is a clown. Just look at the photo... as if he's some sort of rock star or something. Waiving and smiling like he has a group of adoring fans beneath him. He's forking entering a war zone.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:11 | 4679317 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

What, no selfie for Joe?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679328 Thorny Xi
Thorny Xi's picture

It's called "the Dan Quale".  Since Quale always did this at every airport just in case there was a camera around.  (We used to watch him do it when he came to ski Vail, the refueling techs noticed it ... there's never anybody from the press there.)

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:51 | 4679217 becky quick and...
becky quick and her beautiful mouth's picture

joe and hillary should team up for 2016, think of the possibilities!


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:25 | 4680641 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Joe with his shotgun, laying in the grass in some park?

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:43 | 4684675 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

if the shoe fits, wear it...

joe eats his, while the throrn`dyke licks his sole

sad, a seventy year old gramma that don't no-shit-- the aliasalibi queen for lynn forrester de`rothschild?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:51 | 4679220 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Somehow this ass in Kiev is bullish?!

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