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Have No Fear, Joe Biden Is Here (Or Rather, In Kiev)

Tyler Durden's picture


John Kerry (and more secretly, John Brennan) came, saw, and failed miserably, and repeatedly, to "de-escalate" (or, re-escalate in the case of the CIA visit) the Ukraine situation. So the time has come to bring out the bug gun. Sure enough, heeeeere's Joe, as he arrived in Ukraine. And now sit back and watch as world peace breaks out in 5.... 4.... 3....


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Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:48 | 4679211 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679230 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Your name is Dzho Biden, you have it under control.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679237 Looney
Looney's picture

I hope he brought his donkey dentures with him ;-)


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679249 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

another chicken in kiev

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:08 | 4679298 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

He looks like proto CIA... 50 years ago.

Think 'Operation 40'.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:49 | 4679446 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Joe Biden - Lifetime Council on Foreign Relations member. Installed as Obama's running mate by those who think they wield true power. Beneath the goofy Uncle Joe exterior is a sinister puppet who would not only sell his soul to his masters, but he would send it COD.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:52 | 4679453 Tengri Temujin
Tengri Temujin's picture

Come on Joe where is your BLACK MASK

I guess security in Maidan must be better than the last time Biden was in there wearing a black mask with Brenner while Nuland was giving cookies, now he can just sport some shades.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 19:45 | 4681176 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!"


Lies, damn Lies!   The real Uncle Joe would be asking why the local girls are all using Valley Speak right about now.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 22:24 | 4681515 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

O.K., Ukraine, here's the deal:

We'll pay your gas bill if you just KEEP the motherfucker.

It doesn't matter why. Slash his airplane tires; arrest him for being stupid in public; ANYTHING, but DON't let him LEAVE!


We already paid your gas bill? SHIT...

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 14:35 | 4680268 Leaping Lizard
Leaping Lizard's picture

You mean he is not as stupid as he appears?  Who coulda guessed?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:22 | 4679352 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

This might actually work. Everybody will be exhausted from laughing at him.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4679375 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

nice...I was gonna say, tough to aim and fire when you're laughing your ass off!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:47 | 4679443 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Lookout world, here comes the Chicken Hawk, on his Chicken Run.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:43 | 4680094 Phuk u
Phuk u's picture

Chicken Hawk ? More like Chicken Kiev.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679254 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

And did he bring his shot gun??

He only needs to fire two shots out the window and the bad guys will go away!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:00 | 4679266 Looney
Looney's picture

Nah... he's already discharged it into the pilot's face? ;-)


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:03 | 4679276 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Why didn't he save taxpayer money and hitch a ride with top spook Brennan earlier this month? Oops, that didn't happen, shhhhhh.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:08 | 4679306 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

Biden is there...just like Nuland said he would meet with the US' favored neo-Nazis.

/When a meeting with Biden is your 'prize' you are truly a suck-wad player in a crappy nation.

//Slightly better than backing over your dog in the driveway, but not much.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:14 | 4679324 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Which will leave the admitted Zionist in quite the quandry

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679330 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Next try Jesse Jackson and after that try Dennis Rodman.  Then, if all else fails, send Mickey Mouse.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:27 | 4679359 V in PA
V in PA's picture

He said "save taxpayer money". Hah!

If they didn't spend(waste) it, they would have a hard time asking for (stealing) more.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:09 | 4679307 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Looks more like "Joey Bag of Dumbass".

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:23 | 4679360 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

+1 for the moes burrito

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:28 | 4679377 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

speaking of which, its moe monday, and that means a homewrecker and drink for 7 fitty!  now I'm hungry and dont feel like making eggs.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:32 | 4680047 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

anyone know who he wavin at?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679231 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Biden is dumb enough to set himself up as the "Archduke Ferdinand" black swan event.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:10 | 4679300 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

Wooderson says, "Alright, alright, alright".

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:12 | 4679321 nuclearsquid
nuclearsquid's picture

I think you have something there... I always watch this guy through my face palm, wondering how he is where he is.  But now it all makes sense.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:39 | 4679410 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

i hadnt even thought of that, but yes, it does make perfect sense. i fucking hope not. if ANYTHING happens, even if it is obviously the US sponsored neo nazis, there will be a scramble to link it to pro-russian types, maybe even to putin himself, as if putin would actually do something that stupid. Just like everytime there is some kind of mass shooting, there is a scramble by the media to try to link this person to the tea party or paint them as some kind of 'right wing extremist'

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:44 | 4679430 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I hope he brought his shotgun. He can fire it up in the air from his balcony 3 times if he gets into trouble.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:00 | 4679477 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

you have probably seen this, but heres some women testing joes theory of self defense...


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:50 | 4679637 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Saddam Hussein used to walk around with a shotgun.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:16 | 4679334 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

In a way, 9/11 raised the bar on "black swans". Though Biden's Archduke Ferdinand moment might do it.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:20 | 4679344 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture

My thoughts exactly. This whole mess has had the stench of the hubris and arrogance of 1914 on it.  It would appear both sides are eager to move this forward into war.  Both the "leaflet" incident and yesterday's shoot out have failed to create the necessary "hot" incident.  So let's bring in idiot Joe.  If there is anyone who personifies that perfect combination of21st century hubris and arrogance he is it.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:47 | 4679441 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Syria was a lot like this as well (continues to be so). I would say it's a lot like Japan and the US's attempts to bait them into conflict in the build up to Pearl Harbor. It would seem that we are doing everything we can to bait russia. A little hybrid approach between WWI and WWII would make sense.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:59 | 4679663 Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

"All of you slaughtered Ukrainians made it worth the trip!"

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:22 | 4680635 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Biden wouldn't set himself up as Archduke Ferdinand, but he is dumb enough to let Hitlary set him up as Vince Foster.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:55 | 4679248 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

Is kim k. near?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:58 | 4679263 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

In the news tomorrow - great quantities of oil and gas (shale) has been discovered in Ukraine. Monsanto is also interested in Europes largest granary. Senator McCains office has just announced that he has departed to Ukraine for yet another fact finding mission.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679333 holmes
holmes's picture

Joe thinks he's campainging for votes in Kansas.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:48 | 4679213 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

Joe Biden is throwing a monkey wrench into Jay Carney's massive RSX short.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:24 | 4679370 intric8
intric8's picture

Who the fuck welcomed him to warrent such a cheesy smile?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679214 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

The fuckin clown has arrived, let the party begin!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:00 | 4679265 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

He really is a clown. Just look at the photo... as if he's some sort of rock star or something. Waiving and smiling like he has a group of adoring fans beneath him. He's forking entering a war zone.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:11 | 4679317 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

What, no selfie for Joe?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:15 | 4679328 Thorny Xi
Thorny Xi's picture

It's called "the Dan Quale".  Since Quale always did this at every airport just in case there was a camera around.  (We used to watch him do it when he came to ski Vail, the refueling techs noticed it ... there's never anybody from the press there.)

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:51 | 4679217 becky quick and...
becky quick and her beautiful mouth's picture

joe and hillary should team up for 2016, think of the possibilities!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:25 | 4680641 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Joe with his shotgun, laying in the grass in some park?

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:43 | 4684675 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

if the shoe fits, wear it...

joe eats his, while the throrn`dyke licks his sole

sad, a seventy year old gramma that don't no-shit-- the aliasalibi queen for lynn forrester de`rothschild?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:51 | 4679220 valley chick
valley chick's picture

Somehow this ass in Kiev is bullish?!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:56 | 4679250 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

vc, it's all bullish now!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:57 | 4679224 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Would be a shame if he was terminated...

Like President Ford, this guy always seem to fall in shit.

Step back Putin, this guy will screw things up for the west all by himself...


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:17 | 4679532 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture


“So stupid he couldn't pour Pee out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.”

quote by LBJ on Ford

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679227 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Biden in Kiev?

Putin can now take a break and not worry about things for a while.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679229 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I didn't know Bob Barker was touring 

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:17 | 4679340 superflex
superflex's picture

He's there to spay and neuter the pesky Russians.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:38 | 4679399 813kml
813kml's picture

He set up a game of Plinko for Kiev neo-nazi gov in order to keep the palms greased.

The Showcase Showdown should be explosive.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:50 | 4679449 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

My guess, he is there to sexually harass the Kiev product models

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679232 Racer
Racer's picture

Oh he of the US has to spend money to save from going bankrupt Biden?

What a thick dunce he is!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:53 | 4679233 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

obama had a lunch date with oprah he couldnt cancel.  which, of course, is immediately after his first 18 of the day.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679234 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

Nothing will happen, vladimir vladimirowitsch or sergei viktorowitsch lavrow will do everything, that jou 6pack biden is making a bella figura. But they won't tell us the price tag.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679235 replaceme
replaceme's picture

Fear and Loathing in Kiev  - he looks like he's on a very bad ether binge, f*king lawyer promised he'd have the mescaline there at the tarmac.  Bad craziness this.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679239 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

maybe re-route his plane to Fukishima

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679241 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Complete Hubris. These Psycopathic Criminals aren't even trying to hide anymore their Criminality.

It's all out in the open for all the world to see.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:44 | 4679426 813kml
813kml's picture

It's been out in the open for a while but Americans pay no notice.  I feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone sometimes, I end up looking like a crackpot if I attempt to talk to anyone about all this BS.  At this point, I'm just waiting for the shooting to start.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:12 | 4679708 PlausibleDenial
PlausibleDenial's picture

ZH will do that to you..... I know....  my friends have... oh that's right, what friends...

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:56 | 4679729 Blankenstein
Blankenstein's picture

Oh looky no plugs.


The psychopath in action.  His reaction when the reporter questions his lies about his academic record - textbook.


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:54 | 4679243 bobby02
bobby02's picture

bug gun [sic] ?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:58 | 4679253 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Went to grad school in DE in the late 70's early 80's...ran in to Smokinn Joe a few times...he was quite the sleaze snake-oil salesman then...definitely used car slimey in person...wonder if he has cleaned up a bit.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:03 | 4679280 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

you just missed running into his wife when she hustled drinks at the Balloon in the early to mid 70's. Man if those walls could talk, but anyway, I know plenty who can.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:09 | 4679308 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

No shit...really?  I was typically in the Stoned Baboon during the late morning....and migrated to the Deer Park after that....but yes...didn't get to DE till late 1978 so I msut have missed some good stuff!  Thanx for the info!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:20 | 4679345 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Deer Park - god that brings back memories of the early '60s. Many a late night ......

Anyone remember Harry Pack's great bar at Rehoboth Beach?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:25 | 4679371 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

I still remember the stench when you walked in...the Deer Park...before they ripped it up and cleaned it up...the Old Park had a better atmosphere.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4679373 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

The DP was the bar of choice, especially the townie bar on the left. Loved the DP chilli and RR.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:32 | 4679388 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Townie Bar was where it was at...beers + bloody mary's in the morning...GREAT omlets too...and relatively cheap....those were the daze.  The neat thing about working with Ultra High Vacuum systems is that most of the time you are "pumping down" which means you have a LOT of free time to spend drinking.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:04 | 4679287 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

He constantly sips single malt rather than blended these days but other than that he hasn't changed a bit since you ran into him

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:12 | 4679322 Arius
Arius's picture

yes, but he is our Son of a Bitch!  thats what you need to deal with former KGB agents ... sleazy, con man ... i just hope Kerry would join him on his effort ... they make a good team!

if only our economy was doing well ... and we did not had any financial problems ...yeah well

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:57 | 4679257 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



What viable solution is available for Joe to plagiarize?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 09:58 | 4679262 richsob
richsob's picture

Come on, USA. Either do something effective or get the hell away from this situation. Want to do something that will put a serious hurt on Putin/Russia? Cut them totally off from SWIFT. Don't want to go that far? And military action is (hopefully) out of the question too? Then blow it off and focus on securing our borders. I'm a lot more afraid of millions of illegal immigrants than I am of Ivan running roughshod in east Ukraine.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:03 | 4679282 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Cutting Russia off from SWIFT will only result in the BRIICS forming their own "SWIFT" equivalent.

The earth is coming to the end of the "debt is money" system, period.

(It can't handle any more debt/paper promises)

The first country/society to adopt a commodity/technology/energy-backed monetary system will lead from here.


Tick tock motherfuckers.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:16 | 4679336 Arius
Arius's picture

"It can't handle any more debt/paper promises

common you cant be serious, this phrase has been used since the 70s and everything seems to be working just fine ...

To RichSOB - you are correct to be afraid of illegal immigrants ... thats a perfect avenue for terrorist to come into this country ... yes, secure the borders!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:22 | 4679348 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What was the debt/GDP in the 70's?  We still had a tremendous amount of untapped energy resources in the 70's.  What were interest rates in the 70's?  Go ahead raise those rates now fucker...

The bottom line is that America had plenty of room for more debt in the 70's

Please, this is not the 70's.

Full faith and credit bitchez (as in no more faith, means no more credit motherfucker).

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:26 | 4679374 Arius
Arius's picture

you dont need to get personal ... all i am saying is that there is not a certain number which cannot be breached ... it is all speculation, it will be a number when the switch will be turned off ... otherwise all is business as usual ... at least thats my view

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:33 | 4679393 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"all i am saying is that there is not a certain number which cannot be breached ..."

You are correct, and that number was breached many years ago.  That's the real problem for america.

Be optimistic in your daily routine/bussiness, but prepare yourself and your family, as useless paper-pushing psycopaths have been at war with you for quite some time now.  can't pay your taxes? you will be sent to a FEMA camp in the near future.  taxes and real costs are about to jump significantly, they have to in order for the oligarchs in the west to maintain control (bread and circuses).

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:45 | 4679433 Arius
Arius's picture

thats a very pessimistic view of the future ... i am certain, you hope you are wrong on your predictions!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:01 | 4679483 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

7+ billion and growing.

That which cannot be sustained, won't be, regardless of we "think" or "believe".

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:10 | 4679512 813kml
813kml's picture

That is a very realistic view of the future, and the future is almost here.  The US is escalating Ukraine with such vigor because it is desperate, I would look for things to go hot very soon.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:02 | 4679676 richsob
richsob's picture

With all due respect, you don't understand SWIFT. You don't just create an alternative "SWIFT" out of thin air unless you are intending it to be only used within the BRICS orbit. The world's money centers would reject an alternative to SWIFT. Do you not understand that London, New York, Singapore, etc. are the world's money centers? If the Russians were cut off from SWIFT it would be ringing bells from Moscow to Vladivostok. But I don't think our Kenyan president has the cajones to do it. So....let's focus on the illegals. They DO present a clear and present danger to the United States.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:15 | 4679978 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

With all due respect I don't think you understand what really keeps the actually lights on in "the world's money centers".  It sure as hell isn't bullshit paper.

Tell me, who runs Bartertown?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:24 | 4679368 agNau
agNau's picture

Sorry, but I believe Russia has already cut themselves out of the swift system. They have nuked the US w/o firing a shot.
You could call it a "self inflicted" bandage; inoculation; cure, to the dollar scourge.
They are attempting now to manage "events" created by the US/CIA.
Otherwise, on the road to recovery.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:29 | 4679381 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I agree.  If they can cull their corruption, just a little bit, and get a bit more organized Russia might be the next superpower, but I won't hold my breath. 


I see the world becoming considerable more "local" as no one trusts anybody else right now.  7+ billion and growing is a major problem.  There will be no "law and order" until either 1) a new energy technology comes online to support such numbers, or 2) humanity's number are cut back to something the central planners can manage (like 2 billion).

hedge accordingly, because fraud is the status quo on earth.


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:37 | 4679566 813kml
813kml's picture

I think that Russia will be content as the regional power, being a superpower is expensive.  The Team America:World Police act by the US was only able to continue through the ability to print limitless amounts of the reserve currency.  The US will become an isolated pariah once the dollar collapses and consequently its military has been neutralized.

I have experienced firsthand the damage that the NSA has done to America's trustworthiness in the international IT industry.  Fuck you again, NSA.  As if it needs repeating...

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:53 | 4679462 Blano
Blano's picture

"Come on, USA. Either do something effective or get the hell away from this situation."

Hey we sent them water filters and sleeping bags, what else do you want from us????

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:03 | 4679279 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

The dishonorable Harry Reid may think Bundy is a domestic terrorist, but Eastern Europe has many people like Gavrilo Princip who started WW I. Do you think Biden will follow  Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria's fate as he pops into Kiev to save the day?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:04 | 4679284 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

great analogy, was thinking the same thing.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:27 | 4679358 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Knocking him off won't start shit without a NWO MIC clown running the show. Still need to deal with O'Muslim and he has enough time to appoint a new vice president before they can slip in Bonerhead if they finally try to impeach the grey alien. The fact they are sending them there directly says the comm lines are all tapped or else they'd be doing video/audio conferencing. They must also be paranoid about insiders if they are travelling to Kiev instead of the other way around....

Keep up the pressure.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:43 | 4679421 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Probably true but hey it's worth making the effort!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:00 | 4679476 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

We've had NWO MIC clowns running the show since they took down JFK. Puppets, for the most part, but guys who knew where the real power was and have known better than to cross it. But as I've said since Obama was elected... it's the next guy who should scare us. Things will get bad enough that we beg for him... and we'll get him. I don't know yet who that guy is. That putin-like guy from Indiana seems like a fit. I think I'll know it when I see him in full election mode.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:32 | 4679391 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Probably a better chance of him getting shot by the CIA.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:04 | 4679285 hotrod
hotrod's picture

Seems a bit disingenuous to wear the shades on arrival.  Not sure he is a rock star.  To be honest I would feel like a real tool, ok, dick, to hop off the plane on a humanitarian mission with my raybans on. 

Joe Dirt to the rescue.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:21 | 4679350 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Hotrod - it's a musical allusion - "My future's so bright I gotta wear shades."

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:39 | 4679407 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Well that settles it, he's perfectly dressed for the occasion.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:05 | 4679290 booboo
booboo's picture

If anyone can start a war corn row joe can. "Help us obi joe, you're our only hope"

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:06 | 4679294 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

There is nothing the US can do. Sanctions will only hurt us and Europe more than Russia, cause further escalation and retaliations, and accelerate the demise of the petrodollar.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:06 | 4679295 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

It's now official: the US is the laughingstock of the world. (sigh)

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:07 | 4679297 nah
nah's picture


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:08 | 4679304 Infinite QE
Infinite QE's picture

Anyone doing a breakdown of the costs of these trips versus doing a video conference? I mean really.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:10 | 4679310 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please, no-one with any clout wants to save the earth. This is just more proof that it really is about the oligarhs trying to save themselves and their wealth.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:11 | 4679315 Laughinggrizzley
Laughinggrizzley's picture

Joe Bidens foreign policy quote:

"I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you." --Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt's famous quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." (April 26, 2012)

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:14 | 4679327 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

It's big but it's soft.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:11 | 4679316 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Awright, Big Joe's here and I have my double-barrel and ammo."

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:39 | 4679408 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Shitgum Joe rides into town.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:13 | 4679323 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Too bad old Joe's plane can't pull a flight 370. The world would be a better place.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:20 | 4679349 Marley
Marley's picture

Now, what would I expect to hear from a Russian blog?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:22 | 4679354 Old Man River
Old Man River's picture

You don't say, Joe. Like kicking a fresh turd on a hot day.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:24 | 4679366 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Monday humor at it's finest.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:36 | 4679386 SmilinJoeFizzion
SmilinJoeFizzion's picture

bet he cleaned out the free liquor on the plane

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:28 | 4679570 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

...stiffin' the honor bar.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:35 | 4679394 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

Russia invades Ukraine?   Isn't it clear by now who is meddling in Ukraine.  High-ranking U.S. officials visiting one after another despite Ukraine half way across the world.  Meanwhile, no visits by key Russian officials.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:41 | 4679415 dizzyfingers
Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:43 | 4679420 shutupnsing
shutupnsing's picture

" was worth it!"

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:45 | 4679434 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture

Poor dumb Joe.  That face has sacrificial lamb written all over it.  Both sides seem anxious to bring this situation forward into war.  Neither the "leaflet" incident or yesterday's shoot out have seemed to work.  If there is anyone who in the contemporary world who more personifies the hubris and arrogance of the dying empire of 1914 Austria-Hungary than this ignorant fool I can't imagine who it could be.  Will it be up close and personal with a Browning model 1910 or more long distance with a surplus scope mounted SKS?  Or maybe something really dramatic for the TV cameras like an IED or an RPG.  Nothing inflames irrational passion like a drama shot on endless loop on all the news channels.




Mon, 04/21/2014 - 10:54 | 4679464 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

The Naked Gun has arrived to sort it all out.  No more worries, Frank Drebin is on the case.  He will get to the bottom of the glass.  I mean case.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:04 | 4679492 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

If you're a shithead, please raise your hand.....

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:04 | 4679493 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

sending in the VP?  if I were Kiev I would be insulted, that is the single most useless empty suit in a government full of them.

if I were them I would send Biden packing and call Obama on his little red phone in the oval office...

"really? so this is how it is, eh? your feeble attempt at humor just now is not funny and nobody here is laughing. when you are ready to have a real meeting please feel free to send the sec. def. or the chairmen of the joint chiefs. another visit by the head of the CIA would be acceptable as well...

hold on....sorry, but I have to go I've got Vladimir Putin on the other line" click.

on the other hand Biden did say he keeps getting all the "shit jobs" so I guess showing Washington's support for and solidarity with a fascist, armed coup imposed junta would be about par for the course.


Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:07 | 4679497 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Joe who? Trust me, I bet no fucker in Ukraine knows who this dufus is. And if they did, he would have the shot kicked out of him.
Now that would be worth watching.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:07 | 4679499 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Any chance they'll keep him?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:08 | 4679505 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Buffoon Biden is here...

...and with a Russian target on his back, at that! Fancy that!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:20 | 4679544 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Latin American "leaders" learned long ago that when domestic policy was a failure and the citizens were restless, great distraction could be had by having an external enemeny like the big bad United States.

Same thing here for our "leaders" except its big bad Russia.



Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:25 | 4679561 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Having this lukewarm IQ visit any country other than Fiji is a national disaster waiting to happen.

Thing is, Joe is such a self-absorbed narcissistic buffoon that he doesn't realize he is considered the national clown.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:45 | 4679762 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Rambozo The War Klown Obama
Horse-Face The War Horse KKKerry
Kick-Ass The War Buffoon Biden
Chucko The War Joker Hagel

Easy to ridicule them for their clownishness but they are clowns that deal death and destruction around the world -- recent Obama war crimes include more civilian drone killings in Yemen.  All while attention is diverted to the comedy show in Ukraine.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:51 | 4679642 geno-econ
geno-econ's picture

Biden will reveal in one of his Pappy stories that his father was really a Ukranian from Odessa and his real name is Bidenko. We already know about Nuland.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:52 | 4679646 royal
royal's picture

These motherfuckers are so out of touch with the needs of Americans...this jackass should be flying to California or Michigan or any of another handful of states where the economy has gone to hell...but no, this asshold flies to fucking Ukraine...

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 11:59 | 4679667 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

A visit by Al Gore and Bill Gates should finish off the Ukraine.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:12 | 4679707 MEAN BUSINESS

VAU(kraine)A ? Biden is an expert on violence right? Russia are bad. Never fear, Joe is here!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:14 | 4679712 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Boston Marathon is over. Now is the perfect time.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:28 | 4679757 jughead
jughead's picture

I don't see World Peace breaking out anytime soon...he was waived by the Knicks back in February.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:54 | 4679864 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture



can you here me

do you love me



your the only one joe

your the only one

no joe


not there joe

stop joe

please joe

stop now





Tue, 04/22/2014 - 08:17 | 4682081 intric8
intric8's picture

sounds like a night out i had with my first boyfriend, xcept his name wasnt joe, it was warren.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 12:52 | 4679871 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Maybe Biden should call in Corzine to announce a Civil War Holiday! Much like his success with Bank Holiday advice and MF Global.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 13:39 | 4680084 messymerry
messymerry's picture

How ignominous can it get?  Biden, the vice skxawng playing useful idiot to the useful idiot in chief.  This would be funny if it were some other country on some other Pandora...  Unobtainium is the new gold.  Get it while it's hot... (do it, it's only 11 seconds long)


OBTW:  When the acron stops spinning, it's time to head for the hills...and "consumer" is a derogatory term.  Please don't use it.  Tyler, can we have some sigs pleeze,,, ;-)

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 14:43 | 4680318 F em all but 6
F em all but 6's picture

Joe Biden. Absolute undeniable proof that the inmates are indeed running the asylum.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 14:45 | 4680322 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Hilariously, behind the camera there is absolutely fuckin' no one to wave to!

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 14:46 | 4680330 Joe A
Joe A's picture

He brought a new supply of red paint

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 15:00 | 4680385 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

They keep sending this poor bastard back there.

Has it dawned on him that they will keep sending him back until something bad happens to him?

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 15:21 | 4680456 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

You have to wonder if the Kenyan owes somebody a shot at the VP slot.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 16:09 | 4680593 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

If you like our moron, you can keep our moron.

Mon, 04/21/2014 - 17:18 | 4680807 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Interesting article over at David Stockman's blog to the effect that O'Bama is essentially fighting the Democrat Neo-Cons, represented by Hillary and John "Haircut in Search of a Brain" Kerry, that has the virtue of at least explaining all of the foreign policy fits and starts. Seems Baracky and Putin have been kind of chummy for quite a while, to the dismay of the neocons who keep trying to do things like start wars in Syria and the Ukraine, and kill deals that might make sense between the Israelis and the Palestinians.  If you subscribe to that theory then Joe, no friend of the Neocons, is working a different angle on behalf of the President. 

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