Have No Fear, Joe Biden Is Here (Or Rather, In Kiev)

Tyler Durden's picture

John Kerry (and more secretly, John Brennan) came, saw, and failed miserably, and repeatedly, to "de-escalate" (or, re-escalate in the case of the CIA visit) the Ukraine situation. So the time has come to bring out the bug gun. Sure enough, heeeeere's Joe, as he arrived in Ukraine. And now sit back and watch as world peace breaks out in 5.... 4.... 3....

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fonzannoon's picture

Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!

DeadFred's picture

Your name is Dzho Biden, you have it under control.

Looney's picture

I hope he brought his donkey dentures with him ;-)


Ignatius's picture

He looks like proto CIA... 50 years ago.

Think 'Operation 40'.

AlaricBalth's picture

Joe Biden - Lifetime Council on Foreign Relations member. Installed as Obama's running mate by those who think they wield true power. Beneath the goofy Uncle Joe exterior is a sinister puppet who would not only sell his soul to his masters, but he would send it COD.

Tengri Temujin's picture

Come on Joe where is your BLACK MASK

I guess security in Maidan must be better than the last time Biden was in there wearing a black mask with Brenner while Nuland was giving cookies, now he can just sport some shades.

mjcOH1's picture

"Where the fuck am I? This is not West Palm beach!!!!!!"


Lies, damn Lies!   The real Uncle Joe would be asking why the local girls are all using Valley Speak right about now.

MontgomeryScott's picture

O.K., Ukraine, here's the deal:

We'll pay your gas bill if you just KEEP the motherfucker.

It doesn't matter why. Slash his airplane tires; arrest him for being stupid in public; ANYTHING, but DON't let him LEAVE!


We already paid your gas bill? SHIT...

Leaping Lizard's picture

You mean he is not as stupid as he appears?  Who coulda guessed?

Pairadimes's picture

This might actually work. Everybody will be exhausted from laughing at him.

detached.amusement's picture

nice...I was gonna say, tough to aim and fire when you're laughing your ass off!

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Lookout world, here comes the Chicken Hawk, on his Chicken Run.

Phuk u's picture

Chicken Hawk ? More like Chicken Kiev.

Headbanger's picture

And did he bring his shot gun??

He only needs to fire two shots out the window and the bad guys will go away!

Looney's picture

Nah... he's already discharged it into the pilot's face? ;-)


SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Why didn't he save taxpayer money and hitch a ride with top spook Brennan earlier this month? Oops, that didn't happen, shhhhhh.

Serfs Up's picture

Biden is there...just like Nuland said he would be...to meet with the US' favored neo-Nazis.

/When a meeting with Biden is your 'prize' you are truly a suck-wad player in a crappy nation.

//Slightly better than backing over your dog in the driveway, but not much.

SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Which will leave the admitted Zionist in quite the quandry

dontgoforit's picture

Next try Jesse Jackson and after that try Dennis Rodman.  Then, if all else fails, send Mickey Mouse.

V in PA's picture

He said "save taxpayer money". Hah!

If they didn't spend(waste) it, they would have a hard time asking for (stealing) more.

WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Looks more like "Joey Bag of Dumbass".

detached.amusement's picture

speaking of which, its moe monday, and that means a homewrecker and drink for 7 fitty!  now I'm hungry and dont feel like making eggs.

tony wilson's picture

anyone know who he wavin at?

y3maxx's picture

...Biden is dumb enough to set himself up as the "Archduke Ferdinand" black swan event.

NYPoke's picture

Wooderson says, "Alright, alright, alright".



nuclearsquid's picture

I think you have something there... I always watch this guy through my face palm, wondering how he is where he is.  But now it all makes sense.

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

i hadnt even thought of that, but yes, it does make perfect sense. i fucking hope not. if ANYTHING happens, even if it is obviously the US sponsored neo nazis, there will be a scramble to link it to pro-russian types, maybe even to putin himself, as if putin would actually do something that stupid. Just like everytime there is some kind of mass shooting, there is a scramble by the media to try to link this person to the tea party or paint them as some kind of 'right wing extremist'

fonzannoon's picture

I hope he brought his shotgun. He can fire it up in the air from his balcony 3 times if he gets into trouble.

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

you have probably seen this, but heres some women testing joes theory of self defense...



dontgoforit's picture

Saddam Hussein used to walk around with a shotgun.

kridkrid's picture

In a way, 9/11 raised the bar on "black swans". Though Biden's Archduke Ferdinand moment might do it.

Bugsquasher's picture

My thoughts exactly. This whole mess has had the stench of the hubris and arrogance of 1914 on it.  It would appear both sides are eager to move this forward into war.  Both the "leaflet" incident and yesterday's shoot out have failed to create the necessary "hot" incident.  So let's bring in idiot Joe.  If there is anyone who personifies that perfect combination of21st century hubris and arrogance he is it.

kridkrid's picture

Syria was a lot like this as well (continues to be so). I would say it's a lot like Japan and the US's attempts to bait them into conflict in the build up to Pearl Harbor. It would seem that we are doing everything we can to bait russia. A little hybrid approach between WWI and WWII would make sense.

Hopeless for Change's picture

"All of you slaughtered Ukrainians made it worth the trip!"

SDShack's picture

Biden wouldn't set himself up as Archduke Ferdinand, but he is dumb enough to let Hitlary set him up as Vince Foster.

Tom_333's picture

In the news tomorrow - great quantities of oil and gas (shale) has been discovered in Ukraine. Monsanto is also interested in Europes largest granary. Senator McCains office has just announced that he has departed to Ukraine for yet another fact finding mission.

holmes's picture

Joe thinks he's campainging for votes in Kansas.

slotmouth's picture

Joe Biden is throwing a monkey wrench into Jay Carney's massive RSX short.

intric8's picture

Who the fuck welcomed him to warrent such a cheesy smile?

MFL8240's picture

The fuckin clown has arrived, let the party begin!

kridkrid's picture

He really is a clown. Just look at the photo... as if he's some sort of rock star or something. Waiving and smiling like he has a group of adoring fans beneath him. He's forking entering a war zone.

Thorny Xi's picture

It's called "the Dan Quale".  Since Quale always did this at every airport just in case there was a camera around.  (We used to watch him do it when he came to ski Vail, the refueling techs noticed it ... there's never anybody from the press there.)

becky quick and her beautiful mouth's picture

joe and hillary should team up for 2016, think of the possibilities!


SDShack's picture

Joe with his shotgun, laying in the grass in some park?

earleflorida's picture

if the shoe fits, wear it...

joe eats his, while the throrn`dyke licks his sole

sad, a seventy year old gramma that don't no-shit-- the aliasalibi queen for lynn forrester de`rothschild?

valley chick's picture

Somehow this ass in Kiev is bullish?!