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The Rise Of The Fatty

Tyler Durden's picture


For all the talk about QE this, HFT that, crony capitalism, cold war 2.0, hyperinflation, hyperdeflation, social inequality, Keynesian dead end, global financial meltdown, perhaps the one more tangible threats to mankind as a whole (and to the future underfunded healthcare costs) is something fatr simpler: the rise of the fatty.

Below we present a candied look via Nature of, pardon the pun, society at large, and just why is it that those cuddly, jovial fat people, which seems to be growing exponentially in recent years, present a great danger not only to themselves, but to just as exponentially growing welfare costs in a world which already is, for all intents and purposes, insolvent (unless of course someone in charge gets a Swiftian idea to let the world's obese deal with their own problems just the way Charles Darwin suggested they should).

They are everywhere.


They don't fit on the scale.


A lot of their problems can be explained by the surge in cheap, hollow calories.


But the bottom line is they are a danger: to themselves, and to those others who will be tasked to pay for their care.

Source: Nature


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Tue, 04/22/2014 - 18:48 | 4684483 RaymondKHessel
RaymondKHessel's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 18:51 | 4684492 trader1
trader1's picture

great movie!

with a happy ending :-)

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:09 | 4684556 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

Pics like this make me think that "tons of people over 85" thing posted in ZH the other day will be moot...

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:19 | 4684584 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture



Oh, it would be so easy to have fun with this thread...:

LONG heavy duty bearings for scooters!


LONG statin drug mfrs!

LONG van lifts (500 lb cap)!

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:24 | 4684606 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Long Philly's fans! 

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:03 | 4684683 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Pics like this make me think that "tons of people over 85" thing posted in ZH the other day will be moot..."


Not true.  Thanks to Obama-care, no expense will be spared.   There are votes to be bought.   We are now free to unleash peak-fat.    Lifestyle choices shall now be unbound by premium rates that would otherwise limit those lifestyle choices.   The threat of the current generation living shorter lives than their parents did has now been safely removed.   

We are free to live longer, fatter, and  sicker lives than the generations before least until the dollar collapses and the last taxpayer standing sneaks across the border at night to catch a flight to Australia.  


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:12 | 4684795 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Thanks to Obama-care, no expense will be spared.   There are votes to be bought."

No kidding. That scooter above in the pic was no doubt paid for by you/us, not him.

This comment:

"But the bottom line is they are a danger: to themselves, and to those others who will be tasked to pay for their care."

Everyone realizes this is a slippery slope right?

I'm just as repulsed by the sloven obesity I see around me as everyone some point, the voluntary fatty's will be "rehabilitated"...then the collective will turn its attention on you, for (pick any percieved vice) because it impacts it/them monetarily.

Its why we ridiculed Bloomberg wasn't it? For his obsession over what someone else is eating or drinking, no matter how healthy they are.

Make no mistake, they want to control every facet of your lives.

And no, I'm not

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:32 | 4684866 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

I can't stand going to the grocery store anymore because everyone is on a goddamned scooter and they expect you to get out of their way because they're "disabled" (now that their unemployment benefits ran out), read, "you're not only buying my groceries today but you're also paying my rent, and you had better show me some goddamned respect and get out of my way or I'll vote myself more of your income".

It sounds like a fucking loading dock in there with all of the "backing up here" beepers.

Why do they NEVER make eye contact?

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:38 | 4684894 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Don't get me going on "disabled".

If I see one more SUV Caddy pull into the handicapped spot and the occupant jump out and jog into the store I'm going to shoot him in the back on general principle and torch his vehicle.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:01 | 4684985 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, that is a tad hostile nmewn ;-). But I have to confess, I've had that same thought many a time. How 'bout a good old fashion keying? Now that they have those stupid electronic fob things to open your car, I just don't have any more fun. The advantage in driving a hunk of junk is no one bothers to do that to my car.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:05 | 4684995 clymer
clymer's picture

that dude looks too young to have a FUPA

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:23 | 4685052 pods
pods's picture

Well at least the Biodiesel market has a bright future?


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:50 | 4685079 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Dude on the rascal scooter above is packing well in excess of 95 pounds of from-unda cheese just in between his thighs.

Imagine the aroma.

There's also a warrant out for his arrest for an allegation that he daily transports over 330 pounds of crack.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:16 | 4685194 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

from unda cheese = head cheese?


The guy pictured is why I am against government run healthcaare.  Can you imagine what he costs the system?

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:37 | 4685241 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:41 | 4685256 Joe Sixpack
Joe Sixpack's picture

How sweet it is...

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:58 | 4685298 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

As of this week..., there are more handi-capped parking at my grocery store than regular parking.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:10 | 4685327 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

If you can't beat 'em join 'em!  On second thought, beat them.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:24 | 4685375 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I like the one litre of soda.

The modern pacifier

I know the industry would hate it but how much medical cost would "we" save if people exercized and didn't eat crap?   

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:42 | 4685416 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

from-unda cheese = waxy, pasty cheese from down under on morbidly obese scooter scampers.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:02 | 4685447 MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture

"and to the future underfunded healthcare costs"


Dude, healthcare costs have never been fully funded since the creation and rejection of the purely volunteer version of medicare...


Ever wonder why you are forced to buy that shit???


Because it was once a volunteer thing along with SS, that is, until everyone started to opt out, then they just forced everyone to pay...

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:54 | 4685517 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Giving a morbidly obese person a Hoveround, is like giving a bottle of Barbiturates to a suicidal person. It should be common fucking sense not to, but alas, we live in a world where common sense is evaporating faster than a fine mist in the Sahara.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:16 | 4685542 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Two clear reasons...

Too much Alcohol/HFC/Sugar in General

and TOO MUCH MEAT. Most people hee hate the thought, but vegetarianism is a choice right now, will be foreced on you later. Just think, you trust the USFDA when they say that the US livestock is CJD free?

Just that one question.....should stop you cold. People are dropping like flies because of it and it is being mis-diagnosed. Old playbook.

CJD, look it up, study it and it's suppression.

At the right time, consider cutting way back on meat consumption and then Stop. 

We are what we eat....


Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:55 | 4685598 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

One drink a day is ideal, but in practice too little.
Two is the body's limit, but the third says "drink me."
Four and five, sly brothers in crime.
And six to join them along for the ride.


Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:58 | 4685661 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture a fully recovered one time functioning alcoholic, I could not agree more :-)

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:03 | 4685448 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Just stop. It may be true but it is too nasty to contemplate. So stop. 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:26 | 4685483 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Two diets to consider:

Calorie Restriction, the gold standard

and an intermittent fast (5:2) diet.

My brother is on a CR diet, I'm on the 5:2 diet. Comparing the two, I would say they both work.

My IGF-1 is low, body fat hovers around 14%, arterial blockage is under 10%, blood profile normal, and I feel great at 805 months of age.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 06:09 | 4685779 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Another thing that helps is lifting weights. If your diet is correct lifting will shed fat right off your frame rather quickly. 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 06:39 | 4685846 mrpxsytin
mrpxsytin's picture

Stop imagining, come to Australia. 'Our' current government is facing a huge outcry because it is talking about implementing a $6 fee for a doctor's visit... 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 07:56 | 4685983 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Since no politicians get a$$a$$inated anymore, maybe the Oswalds of the world can get workin' on the fatties.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:23 | 4685049 nmewn
nmewn's picture

It should be obvious my account has been hacked again, some malcontent no doubt. Everyone knows I would never shoot anyone in the back.

Its far more likely, that me, being the good citizen that I am, upon finding the now genuinely handicapped person writhing in agony at the front door, I would ask if thats his vehicle thats on fire over there and inquire as to if he needs the fire department or an ambulance to come, first ;-)

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:05 | 4684998 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Shoot the fucker in the kneecap.

At lwat that way the disabled sticker will be appropriate.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:50 | 4685137 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

The knee caps are purely decorative by that point.   Those suckers haven't bent in at least 10 years.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:12 | 4685461 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Those poor kneecaps.

And the agony of da feet.

Paul Krugman wrote that "we need to encourage Janet Yellen to
accelerate the 'morbidly obesite bubble' in order to force taxpayers to turn over more of their income to government so that can as inefficiently as possible spend trillions more on treating this growing proportion of the population."

It's like the broken windows thing, except this has more to do with broken chairs & completely breaking the taxpayer & health care system.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:46 | 4685269 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

 Reserve's got nothing to do with it

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:00 | 4685158 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

don't be stupid nm,  use an untraceable vehicle,  paper patch the bullet with a throw down stolen weapon, wear a mask, and plan your ingress and egress, then post it on world hip hop.  call it whale hunting,  you could even harpoon them.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:17 | 4685196 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Much simpler: blackface and a hoodie. Call it knockout game and it will be a harmless case of harassment.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:35 | 4685239 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I've always found it odd (annoyingly obvious, really) that people are allowed to abuse a law that was passed with the "best of intentions" (lol) and yet think no abuse will ever come from the next proposed law they now support.

Thats the guy laying at the front door with the car on fire in the background I'm talking about.

A fitting end ;-)

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:40 | 4685414 jaxville
jaxville's picture

  I tried to get a handicap sticker for my motorcycle but that didn't go over so well

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:54 | 4684955 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

""But the bottom line is they are a danger: to themselves, and to those others who will be tasked to pay for their care."

Everyone realizes this is a slippery slope right?

I'm just as repulsed by the sloven obesity I see around me as everyone some point, the voluntary fatty's will be "rehabilitated"...then the collective will turn its attention on you, for (pick any percieved vice) because it impacts it/them monetarily."

I believe we're long past the point where there will be any attempt made to control the cost of health care....or at least the lifestyle choices leading to the cost of health care. This is all about trying to buy the maximum votes possible....which definitely does NOT mean forcing people to make unpleasant or difficult choices.

What we have is an attempt to let people avoid those choices and pass on the costs of that to the the creditors of the debtor of last resort (the US government), courtesy of funding this effort through government issued debt. But we are quickly approaching the point where the last sucker to buy that debt at a sustainable rate will have been sheered.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:27 | 4685070 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

How does no fault auto insurance work(ed) out in the states it's implemented in? Are rates higher or lower? Not being held responsible for ones own actions has it's consequences.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:51 | 4685139 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"What we have is an attempt to let people avoid those choices and pass on the costs of that to the the creditors of the debtor of last resort (the US government), courtesy of funding this effort through government issued debt."

Plus the carrying charges of an unfeeling government run bureaucracy. What will happen is the same thing as happened in Britain and elsewhere.

Pick one, you're approaching the end of your usefullness to the state for taxation purposes, to society at large even (pick any) the costs do not warrant the procedure, the medication is not approved by the state, you shouldn't have lived the way you did, its not how we live...worthless POS, put them in Hospice etc.

Your government and its acolytes.

The most hysterical thing is, almost like clockwork, they revise what we should eat. Now salt is TWICE what was previously "recommended." Eggs, no problem. Wine, good for the heart! Milk, cheese...go down the list. resin, no problem (oh, hell I'll catch it for

Fully three quarters is government/media-driven horseshit for transient purposes.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:12 | 4685538 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

You need to hold that thought a little longer.  Yeah, they do revise their guidelines.  It's worth considering that the consumption of meat and saturated fat has gone way down in the US since the first government dietary guidelines were released (by George McGovern).   As obesity rates have soared.   These fat bastards are the ones who were dumb enough try and follow those guidelines.  Replace saturated fats with trans-fats.  More bread, much more.  Sugar/fructose are fine.  Protein and saturated fat are the enemy.

This is a goverment-caused epidemic.  The science behind their guidelines is non-existent.  They  are ably supported by the medical industry, no conflict of interest there I'm sure.  If you eat the polar opposite of what they tell you to, you will get (or remain) lean.  About 70% of your calories should come from fat.  And I don't mean fucking canola oil.  Lard is what I'm talking about.  Lard! 

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:58 | 4685296 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Yep. Fatties are the new smokers.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:27 | 4685383 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

Slippery slope indeed:

However, personal responsibility should apply. I had a shop designed to accommodate mum's with strollers; more than one super large customer couldn't fit to my shock and our mutual embarassment.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:52 | 4685593 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

you can always tell where the flights going to the US are in the airport terminals.  Fattest people in there.   Anyone  who travels a fair amount has seen it.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:09 | 4685010 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

Nmewn, I agree with the vast majority of what you write but not this. A good government's role is to protect citizens from having their rights infringed upon, particularily by other citizens, and to provide synergies that would not happen without their leadership (interstates, schools, etc). 

No government should require citizens to subsidize the healthcare of others related to their individual selfishness and repeated poor decision making. Im not saying it should be illegal to be fat, Im just saying the fat need to pay their fair share. Im a twenty something who works out regularly, who eats well, and who has never even had a single 30 day late payment. The only times I have ever billed my insurance as an adult have been for prevenative annual apointments. I am not a risk. Why does the government holds a gun to my head and tell me to subsidise the lazy, the obese, and even my less responsible elders? 

I dont care if you choose to over eat every day of your life. I dont care if you choose to go home and watch TV every day of your life. I care the moment the government infringes upon my right to economic freedom and requires me to pay for your bad habits.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:28 | 4685071 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"No government should require citizens to subsidize the healthcare of others..."

Full stop.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 03:58 | 4685691 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

"But the bottom line is they are a danger: to themselves, and to those others who will be tasked to pay for their care."

I won't even get into the nature of modern 'food' today - GMO and high fructose corn syrup based with low levels of essential nutrients and the whole mechanism of obestity and diabetes. But the above quote from the article is the essential one that lets you know what they are up to. That's the control of every aspect of people's lives - and the bringing about of their deaths as soon as possible. And it's the very same excuse used by Gates when he advocated for killing off old/terminally ill patients in their final months of life. "Look how many 'teachers' we could hire with that money. . . "

And some are naive enough to think they are forcing you into government controlled 'health care' because they love you !  Welcome to the eugenicist 4th Reich.  I know a long time Dem - grew up in an Irish Catholic neighborhood where they all voted Dem. His wife had a mini stroke and has a bit of dementia. His youngest daughter has Downes syndrome and lives at home with them.  He doesn't even see that his support of Dems & any program they come up with - has put the crosshairs on his own wife and daughter. (And I have no love for Repubs either. But the Dems are freakin' communists today.)

Our tombstone should read:   AMERICA - Killed off by lies and naive stupidity

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:15 | 4684802 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

looks like a hand job could lead to an earth quake

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:53 | 4685143 snr-moment
snr-moment's picture

Ya know, everyones bitchin about carbon sequestration these days......

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:28 | 4684804 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Lifestyle choices shall now be unbound by premium rates that would otherwise limit those lifestyle choices.   The threat of the current generation living shorter lives than their parents did has now been safely removed.   

Except the healthiest (OECD, least obese) countries tend to have some form of universal healthcare whereas the US charged (rolled?) its way to fattest nation on Earth with private health insurance. 

Downvote all you like, won't change reality.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:31 | 4684864 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I would say, they got fat by convincing state government workers, that they would actually starve to death without EBT, which you can now use at most the popular health food outlets.

Like convenience stores ;-)

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:40 | 4684897 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

I would say, they got fat by convincing state government workers, that they would actually starve to death without EBT

I think only God can explain what happened in the US re: obesity, but this is interesting:

And apparently private healthcare = paying 5x as much as Chile for the same results:

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:48 | 4684926 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I don't think we need to turn to God on this. America wasn't fat before the welfare state.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:04 | 4684994 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

I know you guys like to blame most problems in the US on .gov welfare intervention - keeps things real simple - but in health (and others) it's not a reality based assertion. If it were the case, the charts I posted above wouldn't exist. 

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:00 | 4685159 fattail
fattail's picture

Wrong.  It was in fact the government who changed the food pyramid in the 70's to load the sheeple up on carbs instead of healthy fats, protein, and plant based food.  The obesity epidemic took off from there.  I am in fact a refugee from my gov't brainwashed diet after being nearly obese (5 lbs short).  Never been happier or more productive than when I saw the light and got off of Michelle Obama's healthy whole grain diet.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:48 | 4685277 Okienomics
Okienomics's picture

I don't think it's primarily government or welfare or the fed or Obama care or socialism ... It's the fact that food is everywhere all the time. It's too easy and convenient to stuff your face. Used to be, cooking meals was a time consuming chore. Now it's a bucket, a bag, pop it in the microwave, drive through, carhop madness.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:31 | 4685390 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

we have a winner

most medical problems can be prevented and cured with the organic (mostly plant) diet our bodies were designed to take in 

heretics like Max Gerson have known this for a long time

it's not a radical concept. Nature still has the widest, safest, cheapest chemical treatment out there  

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:41 | 4685645 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Energy Crisis?  What energy crisis? 

Agenda 21 and Soylent Green, bitchez!

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 04:14 | 4685701 Rusty Loads
Rusty Loads's picture

Ya...I agree.  I don't think it was the BBQ Ribs that got him.  32oz Mountain Dew fur sure.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:12 | 4685184 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Reality based assertions eh?...costs & causation are not relevant...I see.

You're really sittin around thinking that Congress, passing a law (they did you know, long LONG ago) that anyone showing up at an emergency room WOULD BE TREATED regardless of insurance, has no impact on insurance rates?

That is "universal healthcare" as far as I'm concerned.

Let me tell you something, the first act of a tyrant is to make people ignorant (education). The second, is to insert himself between the doctor and his mortal life.

The third is to take that life (and all that entails) for his purposes.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:39 | 4685235 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

So France, which I imagine you would consider rather draconion on this issue, somehow has maintained far lower costs...magic perhaps?

And you can say the US has long had 'universal healthcare' in your opinion, but in reality that's not been true. 

There are pretty well endless charts pitting universal healthcare based countries vs. US healthcare and showing US spends more and has pound for pound worse outcomes (often abysmally worse) without exception. 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 06:38 | 4685845 nmewn
nmewn's picture

France? What happened to Sweden as the socialist model for anything & everything "progressively" avant garde? But we know Sweden is re-thinking "universal" don't we?

Ahhh yes, France.

It defies economic logic that inserting a middle-man (government or agent) or erecting barriers (laws/regulations) between two people (the purchaser & seller, in this case doctor/patient) into the equation and have costs go down.

We were willing to allow insurance companies to engage in betting (because thats all insurance is, speculating) that more people would not make claims than would, because of the overall benefits derived by that activity, even at negligible or modest yearly increases. It was voluntary on everyones part.

That all changed when the "other brand" of socialism took over and stuck a gun in our faces.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:45 | 4685265 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

Thank you nmewn, a lot of people (even on ZH) don't realize we have had universal healthcare for many years.  Obamacare just forces us to pay the insurance companies our hard earned fiat.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:12 | 4685023 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

James cole, I really don't thing we can blame god for this. God has supplied fertile earth, plant life, animals and water. The raw materials to built a healthy body. Twinkies are of man not God. We are fully responsible for our foolish choices that are an abomination of nature. Nature always wins in the end. There is no amount of money that can support the ballooning numbers, literally and figuratively. Socializing healthcare could only be possible in a very healthy population that doesn't have an inverted pyramid population distribution.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:23 | 4685035 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

I didn't mean blame God, I meant it's a very complex issue no one (on Earth) seems able to pin point exact cause - not to suggest there was one cause. 

Nothing about the obesity epidemic is simple - cause, solution, cost etc. 

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:25 | 4685064 pods
pods's picture

I can pinpoint the obesity epidemic in two words:

Easy Cheese.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:30 | 4685076 James_Cole
Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:37 | 4685099 813kml
813kml's picture

It's only a complex issue if you don't have a brain.  Put shit into your body and you will look and feel like shit.

Obesity is like a smoker wondering why they are short of breath.  Or an alcoholic who just can't seem to pinpoint the cause of his morning headaches.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:08 | 4685172 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

my vice is smoking but i'm 55 and run about 20 miles a week.  i can bear down to an 8 minute pace for 5 miles but creep up to about a 10 on 10 to 13 miles. maybe i should quit smoking i bet i could breath so much better.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:14 | 4685188 813kml
813kml's picture

You must be a moderate smoker, but sounds like you could outrun kids half your age.  You should give e-cigs a try if you want to kick the habit, or at least help cut down.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:27 | 4685219 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

yeah, i go longer and longer without a cig. particularly after a long run and a couple of hours back to where there is a cigarette.  i could quit.  but i like the early morning when the sun is just begininning to lighten everyone is asleep but me and i drink a nice cup of good coffee and fire up a marlboro red.


i enjoy that.


i know i am going to die one day, so is everybody else

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:13 | 4685620 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

The morning smoke is a hard one to give up. The last few months that I smoked, I would have just the morning smoke with some good ol French press coffee. Then one day just coffee. My lungs feel tons better. Looking back, it was a retarded hobby to pick up.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:22 | 4685632 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

Dump the Reds sailor. Some say it's not the tobacco but the chemicals they put in them. Amer Spir only for me

One of the best universal healthcare operations on the planet, the US military. Put that in your pipe-n-smoke it.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:28 | 4685220 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Obestiy isn't a simple issue - granted. But most obesity isn't caused by gluttony or moral depravity - its caused by inflammation, which in turn is caused by industrial, unnatural food.

And in fact there is a simple solution - the problem is that its illegal.



Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:37 | 4685403 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Like many chemical games we've played on this planet, we have only begun to understand the effects of modern "food" on our future. I can't believe the poison we have fed our children.  

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:18 | 4685465 w a l k - a w a y
w a l k - a w a y's picture

thanks for the link. a very interesting website!

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:38 | 4685406 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

well said Miffed

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 00:57 | 4702998 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

I dunno, I'd give credit to the Flying Sphaghetti monster for being an explicitly healthy-eating diety.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:35 | 4685236 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

And what does the US have to show for all that money spent on health care in terms of life expectancy ? I think we are at forty ninth just behind such bastions of health care excellence as Albania and other second world nations.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:19 | 4684821 The man with po...
The man with pointy horns's picture

Peak depravity. The orgy to surpass all other orgies. The ultimate in self-absorbed attention-seeking desire-quenching narcissism.

<< Now I'm off to stuff my mouth with food while indulging in my favourite desire; watching videos of clothed women who are soaking wet. >>

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:02 | 4685446 intric8
intric8's picture

lol check out tylers tags to this post - 'Hyperinflation' 'meltdown' and 'hft' which stands for high frequency.. tonsumption, lulz

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:41 | 4684902 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I am telling you with no humor in my voice that this guy and millions like him will be your/our collectivist future. A guy this size will  need virtually every intervention you can name to keep him going...from new knees and hips to two dozen meds. That scooter he uses is most likely near the price of a Honda Fit (no joke). Liberal-statists will have to eat their own words about being a cruel meanie if you do not buy the millions like him everything they need or want, including several failed visits to a fat rehab facility.

Collectivism makes others pay for bad choices and thereby eliminates the proper consequences this behavior SHOULD have. The consequences that keep this type of behavior to a minimum.

I will also bet you my entire next paycheck this guy is collecting disability along with some sort of medical benefits. The newest most common disability is being morbidly obese. So, you have two sides to this evil equation. First, collectivism removes the proper consequences of his actions. Second, the welfare state actually makes it pay.

Expect to see more of this as they give you the stink eye for blocking their preferred handicap parking at the grocery store.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:35 | 4685237 rbg81
rbg81's picture

When I see pictures like this, I feel fucking ashamed to be an American.  What the fuck happened to us?  The fact that this guy is pandered to, rather than ridiculed, makes it all the worse.  Fuck him and his ilk.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:33 | 4685563 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

Welcome to Fatville!

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:39 | 4685640 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

DCRB, and LONG Designer Soaps made from human liposuction waste.

Paging Dr. Durden.  Dr. Durden to the pink courtesy phone please.

Dr. Durden to nurse:  "Nurse, suction".

Nurse Marla: [suction sound]

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 07:53 | 4685971 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

and they all get a doctor to call them "disabled" so they get paid to stay home and eat.   It's pathetic.



Wed, 04/23/2014 - 07:57 | 4685985 Fiat Envy
Fiat Envy's picture

Long muu muus made from tarps.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 08:04 | 4686000 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

and they all get a doctor to call them "disabled" so they get paid to stay home and eat.   It's pathetic.



Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:50 | 4684687 logicalman
logicalman's picture

If you were to walk up to someone on the street and tell them they have to carry around 20 bags of sugar 24/7 they'd think you mad.

That's only 20kg (in Canada) 44lb US

There are thousands way past this.

My mind does boggle sometimes.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:00 | 4684747 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

I was in Alaska moose hunting last year and shot a moose.  You have to carry it out on YOUR back!  I remember carrying out a hind quarter that was probably 90 lbs at the least thinking hey, this is how it feels to be 280 #.  Luckily I only had to carry it down to the river and not for the rest of my life.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:34 | 4684883 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Try standing up in a C-130 with a helmet, web gear, main chute, reserve chute, couple of weapons, 120lbs rucksack. Say 200lbs. You are tied up like a rodeo calf. After sitting in a nylon web bench for 6-8 hours. Last two hours, low level vomit ride. And cause you are at the end of the stick, and the drop zone is so small, the pilots coming around for multiple passes is pulling another full G. 400lbs. Did I mention it's night, about 100 degrees and the deck is slippery with piss and vomit? Anyway, you want out, bad. Crawling if need be. Live volcano? No problem. Let. Me . Out.
Then theres a few violent seconds of all that open, no open chute business. If combat at 350 feet, dont worry there isn't time. Well after you crumple into whatever, tree, roof, concrete-rocks are nice, your vision starts to acclimate.
You are pretty useless for a bit. Unless a body part is at unatural angles. You may or may not have your pack. Your rifle may be in two pieces. You might not need a 120lb + pack because someone else's is just above you at some speed of 32ft/sec2. Or a nice hard radio. Or a surprise.
No one ever shot at me. Thank God.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:46 | 4684909 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Don't be such a Candy-Ass! Bill Clinton apparently slept with Hillary Clinton at least once.

j/k, and with RESPECT.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:51 | 4684943 centerline
centerline's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:11 | 4685021 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Could of been some "product" salvaged from a sink into a turkey baster.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:18 | 4685034 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, the official parentage of that child has been the fodder for lots of crude speculation. Paternity testing may be in order. I would not offer to do the testing for fear of drowning in my hot tub with multiple nail gun holes in my abdomen.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:42 | 4685102 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Understood. It would take a very brave individual to officially reveal that Webb Hubbell (Epinephelinae of the family Serranidae, in the order Perciformes) is in fact, the Father of that spawn.

The devastation of such a discovery would likely bring said individual to a point where they'd decide to end his/her life with a karate chop to the back of their own neck, or more commonly, a double-tap to the back of their own head.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:50 | 4684939 centerline
centerline's picture

Wow.  You are a great writer and really captured that experience... as much as words can do I suppose.  Just wanted to say thanks for the short journey you just took me on.  And also... your service IS appreciated for the right reasons.  God bless.  See you around.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:01 | 4684981 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I was unemployable, a 25 year old alcoholic with a ten year habit, Carter was President, I had a Dodge Duster, 30/32ths of my teeth, erections for no reasons, and free cash and cheap beer.
Life was good.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:52 | 4685284 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

You should write a book if you haven't already.  You have natural narrative talent.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 07:40 | 4685946 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:12 | 4684793 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

How does one become this???


I don't get/understand/comprehend how one allows themselves to become a tubby mass of lard?


Or they just big boned?

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:23 | 4685206 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Try figuring out how he takes a leak. Go ahead. Try.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:35 | 4685399 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

He pribably has an industrial grade toilet that he sits down on when he has to pee. 


Try figuring out how he wipes his ass. 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:06 | 4685453 Schizofrantic Squonk
Schizofrantic Squonk's picture

From what I hear from friends in the medical biz - he doesn't. They say the smell under there will knock you down.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:23 | 4685553 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Brings a whole new meaning to "smells like ass." 

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:41 | 4685644 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

Start a "fat preppers" camp. Invite all the slobs. You'll never go hungry WTSHTF.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 07:46 | 4685957 rbg81
rbg81's picture

We have a guy like this at work.  The janitor literally has to be on call after he uses the toilet.  If you didn't know better, you'd think some led a horse into the stall to take a shit.  But, this guy thinks nothing of the hardships he causes others.  Either totally oblivous or doesn't care.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:25 | 4685215 epicurious
epicurious's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:31 | 4685226 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Extinction level event.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 01:33 | 4685570 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

I'm curious to know how these fat asses wipe their own ass! Do they manufacture special tools for this process???

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 06:39 | 4685847 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:17 | 4684560 knukles
knukles's picture

It's either who cares, eat what you want or Mooch's Lunch of the Month Club.

HagenDas and taterchips forevah!
Along side of fried chicken, double cheese burgers and HagenDas
And fried baloney sandwiches
And chili dogs
And HagenDas.
And taterchips 
And rib eyed grilled steaks and corn on the cob, dripping with Real Butter


Oh, lighten up.  The poor dudes just looking for a new Spandex jumpsuit

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:44 | 4684910 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

See it happen.
once you get that big you become inert. You burn like zero calories because you dont move, move little and shortly.
So you can honestly eat few calories and maintain.
you are either still, sleeping, sitting.
Shedding weight at that size can cause organ death. Really needs to be done under hospitalization.
Then there is the whole headspace problem.

Free range mutated timber wolves, trained to smash through sliding doors in packs might be kinder. ( plus the back to nature recycle/green angle thing would be doing, which is nice. )

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 18:51 | 4684493 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:36 | 4685095 intric8
intric8's picture

Dude will be one of the first casualties in the future uprising when they round many up and place them in fema camps. It would make a good movie scene- fatty trying to get away full throttle at 5 mph while fema guys with guns give him a little distance and gun him down.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:25 | 4685212 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Casualty, or gourmet dinner for a dozen wild dogs looking for a place to happen.

Always look on the bright side.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 22:41 | 4685252 intric8
intric8's picture

I'll get downarrowed by every obese reader on the site. Lose weight, for fucks sake. They will double tap rather than deal with the difficulties of transporting these fat ass peeps

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:00 | 4685444 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

He's already death when the first EMP hits abd his batteries are fried :)

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:04 | 4684539 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

GMO high fructose level corn......

Which is made into....corn chips, corn nuts, totilla chips, cheetos, cereal, corn meal, corn bread, creamed corn, corn on the cob, maize, maize meal, tomales, corn meal hush puppies.....etc...etc.

Which is fed to beef cows, milk cows, goats, lamb, pigs, ducks, chickens, rabbits, fish.....etc.....etc......

Which is made into corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, thickeners......

Which is used in the processing of all the above......not to mention candies......syrups.......ketchup......BBQ sauce.....salad dressings.....creams......sauces......colas.....jellies......jams.....glazes......confections.......cakes......breads.....muffins......


Oh yeah.....everything you fry in corn oil.....GMO High Fructose level corn oil.



Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:13 | 4684567 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

Don't forget modern wheat.  It's in everything, and the amylopectin a in wheat spikes blood sugar more than table sugar.  You're better off eating jelly beans than 2 pieces of "healthy (LOL) whole wheat bread."  Read Wheat Belly, and you'll see why.  IMO wheat is a larger culprit than even fructose.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:28 | 4684614 ugmug
ugmug's picture

I weighed over 350lbs all of my adult life until I read wheat-belly recently and I stopped eating wheat. I lost 100 pounds in 8 months, my type 2 diabetes disappeared as well as my high blood pressure and high cholesterol. If people think their food is safe, think again!!!!!!!! 


Its not!


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:56 | 4684726 holmes
holmes's picture

It's not about eliminating entire food groups, it's about eating everything in moderation.

You don't get to be 350 lbs by eating in moderation.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:10 | 4684790 ugmug
ugmug's picture

The fact is that the wheat inflamed my appetite to where it would never subside. After I eliminated the wheat I finally experienced a normal appetite. I lost 100 pounds without starving myself.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:26 | 4684847 AUD
AUD's picture

The fact is you're a fucking moron

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:31 | 4684868 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

Well, I will give him credit for doing the right thing. I was taking my kayak to the reservoir two days ago and I saw a very large woman on a bike and my first reaction was "Whoa! Too much!". My second reaction was "Bravo!" for doing the right thing.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:37 | 4684888 ugmug
ugmug's picture

I had a cousin who said the same thing until they started to chop off his infected feet due to unchecked diabetes. People think that just cutting off toes and feet will stop the pain and draining, once again think again. The guy is in constant pain and probably you're heading in that direction.


Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:33 | 4685490 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture


I have never been as heavy as you describe, but I know you are right for you and for me. Dropped wheat and dropped weight I did not want. Also got better mental health for my trouble. I think some of us are built this way. I cheated and had a pizza the other day. I was laid out in pain for hours with a distended abdomen. If I stick to meat and veg, with a little fruit, I do great and have no worries. I cannot know this is best for everyone, I just know there are folks like us out there. Got my husband on my diet, got his blood pressure and cholesterol under control. Felt like an earth mother goddess when that happened. No statins for my male. Phuck big Pharma.

Compassion. They know not what they say and do. They ain't been there.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 14:04 | 4687273 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

MsCreant is a DAME, ya'll.

Your man is a lucky gentleman, indeed.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:58 | 4684973 Hovel Downs
Hovel Downs's picture

You will be fat again. Fatter til you die.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:41 | 4685498 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He may or may not be fat again. He has a chance.

I doubt you will ever recover from what is wrong with you (someone who needs to say what you said, for fucktard fun, or because of your deep feelings of inferiority). Then you will die too.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:36 | 4685093 Bro of the Sorr...
Bro of the Sorrowful Figure's picture

have to disagree. read good calories bad calories or anything on paleo. the entire "food group" you have to eliminate is anything that doesnt fall into the category of meat, eggs, vegetables, and fruit. also stay the hell away from anything with wheat or sugar.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 00:55 | 4685520 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

And above all, contrary to popular belief, people get fat not from fat, but useless carbohydrates.

Sweden Becomes First Western Nation to Reject Low-fat Diet Dogma in Favor of Low-carb High-fat Nutrition
Wed, 04/23/2014 - 02:10 | 4685610 general ambivalent
general ambivalent's picture

Yes, there's a lot of bad information out there. All the 1200 calorie and run in circles diets are just as much a part of the problem. Just think about the biking comment above, a bike is meant to reduce your energy usage, to make it easier to move around. The energy used while biking is minimal compared to lifting up heavy weights or swinging a tool.

It's counterintuitive really, but you need to eat more to lose weight (this kickstarts your metabolism by 'adding fuel to the fire' at the right times). And to lose weight you only need about 3 hours of exercise a week if you know what you're doing, but all of the diet programs are set up with the logic of capitalism/addiction, of reproducing the demand for diets. It would be self-defeating for the diet companies to tell the truth and solve weight problems.

Few people do the sort of labour that was required for survival, for what made us function as we do biologically. Gathering wood, hunting, building homes/shelters, training others for fighting/hunting etc. Anyone who goes to the woods with an axe regularly can tell you it's nearly impossible to gain weight. I've personally had times when I eat nearly as much as the athlete nutrition plans (ten thousand calories a day), and there's no weight gain apart from muscle.

And if you can't do that sort of woodsman/bushcraft labour then lift some weights. Bench press, squats, deadlifts, military press, and power cleans. Lifting 200 pounds or more at a time is what allows you to stay in shape and lose weight. The extra muscle allows you to burn calories, and your system has to go into recovery for damaged muscle tissue so it burns a lot of calories to repair (as well as the mental building processes, much of your ability to lift something heavy is in the mind/synapses and the body must develop a response there as well), those are the biggest things. Going for a run or biking takes much more effort and time, at least four times as much.

In terms of food you should be able to eat whatever you want if you're doing enough (don't take that as an excuse to eat junk, it's hard for your body to function properly without nutrients). And really, certain activites make you want to eat better food anyways. The problem is both the addictive and substanceless food and activity.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:18 | 4684818 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

I salute your enlightenment.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:28 | 4684619 john39
john39's picture

Old school fermented sordough is a whole different beast.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:32 | 4684633 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Wheat sure makes a damn tasty beer. Next thing ya' know, they're gonna be sayin' that I shouldn't be drinkin' beer no more.

Wed, 04/23/2014 - 14:08 | 4687284 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"I'm still here and I still love you"

signed.....Potato Vodka

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:36 | 4684650 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Excellent book.  Dumped wheat about 6 months ago along with a general reduction in grains and starches.  I'm not overweight but I lost 6-8 pounds of fat I just couldn't through exercise.  I feel better as well.  Yep, a Snickers bar is healthier than whole wheat toast.  Quelle irony. 

Fascinating that wheat activates the same sensors as opiates.  One just wants more....

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:54 | 4684722 logicalman
logicalman's picture

My approach has always been 'if you burn it, it won't hurt you'

My son and I cook from scratch almost every day. He's good at bread! We never even consider fats or carbs, just make sure to get plenty of veggies.

I cycle 10 miles a day about 360 days a year at a minimum.

Buy foods with only one ingredient and combine them yourself.

It feels good to be fit, but it takes some effort.



Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:17 | 4684812 samsara
samsara's picture

Only eat that which will spoil and eat it before it does.

Eat what you can, and what you can't, Can.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:53 | 4684950 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I eat everything. All I can.

Under the Obama economy diet I have been losing weight every year. (Although some of it I shed from shivering from no heat.)

I trendline i should be near my 40 years ago high school weight by Christmas.


Wed, 04/23/2014 - 14:11 | 4687297 Jumbotron
Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:55 | 4684959 centerline
centerline's picture

+1 for the effort.  But please consider that the "everything in moderation" concept has merit.  You have different teeth because nature intended for you to be an omnivore.  Fats and carbs are also important.  No one can turn millions of years of evolution on a dime and expect the outcome to be good.  Just my two cents...

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:55 | 4684724 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Agreed. Took wheat out of my diet and a whole host of niggling issues evaporated.

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 21:25 | 4685059 Jena
Jena's picture

Wheat Belly is good.  So is Grain Brain by David Perlmutter.  He goes after both wheat and sugar.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 19:59 | 4684741 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

While personal responsibility is the root cause of the rampant obesity in society, don't understate High Fructose Corn syrup’s (HFC) contribution.

Mexico until recently was not considered widely obese. That changed the minute HFC became widespread in their food. Remember, they are generally poor and so don't consume as many calories, but now those calories have been augmented with HFC, leading to rapid increases in obesity.

Ditto Americans.

The GMO and HFC people, all of them, are on my guillotine list. Those of Monsanto or similar, suing poor farmers for pollen blown in from other farms, will have no quarter with me.


“GMO: Guillotine Modified Organism.”

Tue, 04/22/2014 - 20:52 | 4684946 Freddie
Freddie's picture


The Hispanic culture they often spoil and baby their children which is somewhat of a generalization. Or maybe a compliment because they usually love their kids.  Just like you said - HFC hit and you see these young hispanic children who are blimps.  Mexico has become terrible.   Monsanto is spawn of Satan along with HFC=Archer Daniels Midland.  AMD slogan should be "Because We Own Congress."

AMD = another shit company from shit Illinois like McDonalds and a bunch of others.


Tue, 04/22/2014 - 23:34 | 4685395 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

The primary reason we use HFC is because the sugar industry is protected. We pay approximately three times the world price for sugar. Politicians allow it so they do not lose Florida to opponents in elections. It is your wise benificent government at work, once again.

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