Friday Humor: CNBC Adding Value

Tyler Durden's picture

Does anyone miss Maria?



h/t @Stalingrad_Poor

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
H. Perowne's picture

You mean when we throw stuff at her?

Xibalba's picture

she still bangin everyone at Citi? 

Say What Again's picture

Whenever I tune into CNBC, I keep the volume down.  I turn on my iTunes, and set the station to "Porn Groove" which makes for a real interesting multi-media experience.  Now that the work day is over, I can start happy hour, and it gets even better.

knukles's picture

Whazzizname there's gettin' some pretty big bags neath them eyes...
Lyin' is tirein' 

MeMongo's picture

If he would just do it this way, it wouldn't cause so much lasting damage!

fonestar's picture

New suit.  Same as the old suit.

Glasnost's picture

Everyone is getting tired of the game now.  How much time is there I wonder?

I am more equal than others's picture



Is getting the stock cum off hard?

Wile-E-Coyote's picture

That guy looks ill, even he knows deep down we are in a world of hurt.


unwashedmass's picture

Actually, he might not. 

He went to Columbia University School of Journalism. 

He has had NO formal education whatsoever in finance, business, the markets, etc.

He's a blow dried air head. 

mjcOH1's picture

Wrong talking head-- University of Virginia:


Besides, he 'projects credibility'.

wee-weed up's picture

"Does anyone miss Maria?"

Just her bosoms!

ebworthen's picture

I miss her nugget nipples when Gold is down and she is interviewing Jamie Dimon.

villainvomit's picture

I always thought he looked like Beavis or Butthead.  I don't know which is which ????

ReligiousAtheist1's picture

+1 i see what you did there, gave me a good laugh

old naughty's picture

"Does anyone miss Maria?"

where is "them" now, again?

Thermopylae's picture

Heard FOX has her doing an investigative story - She's gonna try to smuggle 50 ozs of gold into India by hiding it in the crack of her ass.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

If her lips below are as levianithic as her lips above, I'd say you'd named the wrong crack. 

max2205's picture

Looking for all time highs next week with momo pomo stocks all down 30%.



It's a stock pickers market ya know......

American Dreams's picture

Not even a challenge, have you seen those hind quarters.  Looks like se is carrying around a volks Bettle on her ass.

No shelter here


Blano's picture

You're missing a digit.

nasdaq99's picture

nice screen capture.

Tyler is a total buffoon, too.

konputa's picture

I see the mortician is getting ready for the pending blood bath.

NOTaREALmerican's picture

To the moon, Alice...  

HaroldWang's picture

Her mantra at the end of every down day. "Stocks finish off their lows" -Ah, the good old days!

Aknownymouse's picture

That guy has such a limited brain capacity, it is amazing. Watch him struggle if he is put on the spot without a teleprompter. it is hilarious.

tom a taxpayer's picture

He and David Gregory may need the same shrink and psychic face-lift.

buzzsaw99's picture

i wonder if he takes the subway to work :heh heh:

Stoploss's picture

Momma said shees the debil...

Tsar Pointless's picture

What is CNBC? I vaguely remember something like it, but that was at least four years ago.

Peter Pan's picture

CNBC stnds for


sodbuster's picture

I always thought it was CNBS!

SDShack's picture

Hey, I watch CNBC every night now that they are showing NHL Playoffs. It's probably the best ratings they've seen since last year at Hockey time. If CNBC were smart, they would have a couple of panel guests during business hours, dressed in opposing NHL team garb, "drop the gloves" and go at each other in a real economic fight. It would be a ratings bonanza... a cross between CNBC, WWF, NHL, and Jerry Springer.

Pooper Popper's picture

The worst part of cnbc is the trolls clumpus and bloody stump man-SERIOUS ASSHOLES!

If you get a chance,and you want a good laugh visit the cnbc site and flag the comments of these dicks.

It only takes 5-10 flags to remove a comment on that SHIT site!

astoriajoe's picture

I much prefer a downvote to comment removal. It makes it easier to tell who is a shill if you can read what they shillin'.

Pooper Popper's picture

I Agree.

But disqus or whatever it is called,doesnt allow counting of down votes!!!(Its almost like their trying to steer the agenda!)-sarcasam!

I mean if you put in a system to count votes,but it doesnt count the down votes???WTF!!!

Fucking libertrolls!

We hates them,We hates them forever!!




icanhasbailout's picture

Actually, I don't miss Miss Ground Beef Meat Flaps at all.

Seasmoke's picture

Tyler M. Looking tired ......

Atomizer's picture

Yep, it’s a stressful high paying job when attempting to falsehood the public. I'll bet he has days in which he grabs the phone and stares at the dial pad, debating whether to call off sick. CNBC Tyler looks like a candle burning from both ends.

bullet's picture

cue BoB Pissonit... its a victory for the bulls...

pauhana's picture

Maria's only question for most guests was "Would you be investing money in this market today?"  She was replaced by a robot.

Spitzer's picture

The WOP has a feature on Bill Orilly now. She's too washed up for the stun kunts Bill has on the payroll

luckylogger's picture

Great post Tyler, one of your best friday humor posts!

virgilcaine's picture

Tyler Matheson is a worn out financial bot.

Yen Cross's picture

     His name is Vlad Dracula.

debtor of last resort's picture

I'd refuse interviews while taking a shit.