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Is This Why Stocks Are Soaring?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A few weeks ago, after Gartman got "scared" of the market and "got out of stocks" only to see a sharp reversal, Gartman turned "pleasantly bullish" on stocks... only to see the market close the week red. Overnight, Gartman may have set the market direction once again with the following update:

We turned “pleasantly” bullish of shares several weeks ago when the S&P tested 1805-1810 and it has rushed higher since, although global shares have not followed the US higher with the same sense of urgency. Now, however, 1875-1885 has proven to be formidable resistance and our bullish enthusiasm has to be reduced once again.

And sure enough, stocks surge, in HFT momentum chasing algo terms.

 

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Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:44 | 4703909 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaah...this is perfectly Gartman!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:46 | 4703925 bania
bania's picture

hey gartman, they're laughing at you!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:50 | 4703945 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

Did Fartman ever do weather forecasting?

He says he is not scared...

http://dennisgartman.blogspot.com/2014/04/dennis-gartman-not-scared-anym...

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:01 | 4703976 rocker
rocker's picture

The Fartman Factor.........Goldman's Special Software Wins Again.  

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:03 | 4703986 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

The HFT vacuum tube algo-bots are laughing at him.  Gartman is Johnny-5's little bitch!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:11 | 4703997 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

stocks are "soaring" (zero sum plus friday) due ONLY to the fact it is month end and the fed is "ironically" making their announcement on the very last day of the month............period

 

we all know the script....better than expected econ until november, fed cannot untaper, IBM and V will be the dow catalysts, AAPL will be the ES catalyst, MOMO's will be sold into catalysts etc etc the world is saved!

 

That was only 1/4 retard

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:25 | 4704036 max2205
max2205's picture

Trend chop changes with the blink of an eye today

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:47 | 4703927 Arius
Arius's picture

give me a break with this bafoon ... i understand he is part of the system, but pleeeease treat it with care ....

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:27 | 4704044 holmes
holmes's picture

Gartman got "pleasantly bullish" less than a week ago. What a joke. Gartman is long of bullshit and short of brains.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:44 | 4703914 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

How does this guy earn a living again?

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:46 | 4703923 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Like most corrupt 0.01%ers, by fading his own advice. 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:53 | 4703951 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

by doing backbreaking work and keeping a high workethic....

it's called : FINANCIAL ENGINEERING

WHOEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 13:05 | 4704411 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Is that your evil laugh?

I really feel sorry for the folks starved for "lies and airtime." I mean how does this fit into a trading strategy again?

"First you have to make sense" and, well, since the market makes no sense...well, it is ironic that you can't just say "blah blee blah."

Actually ratings might do something other than collapse (along with many other things...like lower Jaws for example) if he did say "blah-ble-blah" with a strongly worded view on why this is done in the first place.

You know..."don't ask me how I can live myself! How can you live with yourself!!!!"

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:02 | 4703978 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture
  1. Same way as Monica  .........
Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:44 | 4703915 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Gartman, you fat bastard....put in a $500 an ounce call on Gold and I will buy your fucking newsletter for every member of my family. 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:45 | 4703917 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture

he found the market has.... er...   rigging support..  -lol

 

:^D

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:45 | 4703920 Four chan
Four chan's picture

how many units is he allocating, just kidding i never cared.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:46 | 4703924 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's amazing how an "asset manager" can move his clients in and out of stocks so quickly. I guess the friends and family don't mind the constant churning every time the wind blows. What a turd.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:58 | 4703966 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

he doesn't manage shitt, all he does is open his mouth and go blah, blah, blah for his newsletter subscribers (sad souls)...the guy is a tool!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 12:08 | 4704162 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

Whats also amazing is that joe retail can kick a whales ass.

Sell everything... Why Ukrane, Momo panic..lol I didn't see the shtf yet.

There is a lot of money on the sidelines and where else you gonna go, for now anyway.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:47 | 4703932 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

from the lower left to the upper right... got it!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:47 | 4703934 RockRiver
RockRiver's picture

Gartman learns the term "whipsaw"....

 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:48 | 4703937 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

We are long of whipsaw trades and short of rational decision making.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:49 | 4703940 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Not sure exactly who was Gartmaned here....but congratulations anyway.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:57 | 4703955 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

What a crock of shit. He did not turn pleasantly bullish at 1805...that's when he was bearish. He turned bullish both times we've crossed 1870. The cocksucker has top ticked and then bottom ticked the market 4 straight times. Talk about rewriting history

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:55 | 4703956 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I take it wearing the asshat for some people just never goes out of style.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:56 | 4703959 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

I fail to see how he blew this call.  He said 1875-1885 was resistance and he would be lightening up. So likely he is selling into today's strength which is probably a good move.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:11 | 4704010 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You need to look at what he actually said and when he originally pulled out of the market or jumped back in. Not the bullshit he wrote after the fact to make himself sound credible.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 10:58 | 4703967 Dadburnitpa
Dadburnitpa's picture

I'm long of Gartman in bullshit terms.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 12:11 | 4704167 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

Lol, good one

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:07 | 4703968 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true.  I'm half crazy.......
She's bullish.  She's bullish not.  She's bullish.  She's bullish not.
Oh, what a beautiful Moooorning...... !!

A market beater !!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:03 | 4703985 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Dennis Gartman, the guy who once told me "Gold will never trade above 500 Euro's"?

Oh yeah, that guy.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:04 | 4703988 CPL
CPL's picture

Fat men in driven around in limo's don't get an opinion.  They do recieve something else though.  <chuckle>

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:05 | 4703991 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

The stupidity of this market is pretty obvious- both Pfizer and Astrazeneca are up significantly this morning.  Simply fucking unreal.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:30 | 4704053 elwind45
elwind45's picture

Capital flows trump fundamentals? Fear will go where it is treated better regardless the price. Measurements are good when markets are calm in either direction but a trending one is about expectation both real or imaginary! I expect capital to come to America regardless of value estimates or citizens beliefs? It could be both better and worst to an outsider depending on his country of origin but it will be more stable in his mind being here in bartertown than anywhere else?

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:13 | 4704014 fed_depression
fed_depression's picture

He's eventually going to get one right. I'd say now may be the right time. The stupidy of the market is now unreal. MSFT up over 3% on less profit than last year. Sure they have near a 3% dividend but stocks aren't safe investments and nor is a company with sinking earnings.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:17 | 4704023 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

"stocks aren't safe investments"

 

We don't have investors any longer. We have rentiers, and right now the BernankenYellen wants them in stawks and bawnds.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:36 | 4704065 fed_depression
fed_depression's picture

They can want them to be in many things but eventually what will happen is the positions will start losing and then they will see the real Fed has no actual power to do anything at all. It's all a make-believe world.

In other words, it has only been working because people believe it will work.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:13 | 4704015 lemarche
lemarche's picture

WHO PAYS THIS GUY???

ACCURACY RATE (AT LEAST ON TV...) NEAR 0%... WAY TO GO...

 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:17 | 4704024 elwind45
elwind45's picture

Did you mean Cartman?

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 12:45 | 4704313 4 Freedoms
4 Freedoms's picture

Respect my authoritai!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:32 | 4704063 ratpack1968
ratpack1968's picture

Pathetic, but I suppose if you throw enough shit at the wall some of it is going to stick and get you a booking on CNBC.

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:40 | 4704079 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

since he is the only non algo left trading he is probably single handedly moving the market with his puny buy/sells

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 11:43 | 4704086 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

Clown!

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 12:02 | 4704143 Comte d'herblay
Comte d&#039;herblay's picture

Have just slaughtered 3 chickens, and diligently reading their entrails, we can state unequivocally, that they are unerring in predicting that the stock markets will rise and fall. 

 

This is gospel. 

 

 

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 12:43 | 4704307 IronShield
IronShield's picture

Uh, is this called soaring?  Seems too quick on the trigger there eh?  Not to mention month end.  Hmmm...

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 13:02 | 4704397 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

It's the same as the insane Ron Insana, who now is long stocks.

Both fucktards

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 13:32 | 4704502 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

GD ZH! You put us up to our ass with martin armstrong and now dump friggin gartman on top of that????????????????????? WTF

Mon, 04/28/2014 - 14:09 | 4704661 Spungo
Spungo's picture

This is unbelievable. I can understand someone being wrong 50% of the time due to random guessing, but this is just weird. Maybe the algos are programmed to do the opposite of what he says.

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