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Why Did The Fed Hold An Emergency Meeting Yesterday?

Tyler Durden's picture


Everyone knows that the FOMC announcement, due today at 2 pm, will be the culmination of an orderly, traditional 2-day meeting which started yesterday, April 29.

What few know, however, is that in addition to the generic FOMC meeting which started yesterday at 10:30 am, at about the same time, the Fed also held an "expedited" emergency meeting between the four board governors Yellen, Tarullo, Stein, and Powell.

As the WSJ adds, "The four members of the board met to discuss "medium-term monetary policy issues," according to a meeting notice posted on the Fed's website.... A Fed spokesman declined to say if the two meetings were combined, or how long the board meeting lasted." The WSJ also notes that the "last time the Fed board met to discuss "medium-term monetary policy issues" was on April 26, 2011, according to analysts at BNP Paribas."

The notice:

So what was discussed? We won't know because the "meeting was closed to public observation by Order of the Board of Governors because the matters fall under exemption(s) 9(A)(i) of the Government in the Sunshine Act (5 U.S.C. Section 552b(c)), and it was determined that the public interest did not require opening the meeting."

Ironic, because nothing the Fed does is in the public interest. Or, to be specific, 99% of the public...


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Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712019 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please, that's easy. It's 2008/2009 again and nothing has changed.  The same criminals and or their political puppets are still in charge, but the numbers are much, much, larger...

Tick tock motherfuckers...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712036 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Untapering the untaper!

Oh boy!  Only good things can come from a closed Fed meeting.

So ... does Yellen have balls or not?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712058 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

Representative government derives its legitimacy from the informed consent of the governed.  

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712099 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

“Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity.” – Lord Acton

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:11 | 4712114 knukles
knukles's picture

Whether the Bisley Boy tale applies to Dr Yellen as well as Queen Elizabeth I?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:19 | 4712151 remain calm
remain calm's picture

To discuss Yellen new Douche preperation. She wants to make sure she is as fresh as possible when the financial system collapses.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:24 | 4712171 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Someone on TeeVee told me that things were getting better.  So they must have met to try to figure out how to contain all this irrational exuberance.



Either that, or the fact that a debt based system dies unless phantom assets can be inflated high enough to attract more debt and leverage (I think the Fed calls this inflation, which is somehow good) has them concerned.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:24 | 4712177 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

did i see yellen playing a bit part in pac world?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:25 | 4712188 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

What Was Discussed???
How To Short More GOLD We Don't Have, To Keep The Keynesian Dollar From Imploding...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:28 | 4712196 power steering
power steering's picture

I give up. Why?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:28 | 4712497 max2205
max2205's picture

They are trying to figure out how to keep Spy up and prevent a collapse of TWIT IWM and IBB...good luck!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:59 | 4712654 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Peak Transparency™.....bitchez

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:05 | 4712675 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"So ... does Yellen have balls or not?"

From the look on her face..., I'd say she just discovered that she does.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:13 | 4712710 outamyeffinway
outamyeffinway's picture

The meeting notes have you cannot!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:24 | 4712758 SumTing Wong
SumTing Wong's picture

I'd say someone knew the 0.1% GDP growth number ahead of time and wanted to think it through before the FOMC decision. There may have been a few pairs of brown panties involved in this also...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:20 | 4712741 old naughty
old naughty's picture

"...Yellen, Tarullo, Stein, and Powell."

And Fisher.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:35 | 4712520 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

'Belgium' has been buying massive amounts of US Treasuries. Someone insane has been buying enough periphery bonds to drive their yields down to absurd levels and gobs of USDJPY mysteriously gets bought whenever it drops to the magic 102 level. US, Japanese and EU central banks are propping each other up each other since they can't openly do it for themselves without causing a loss of confidence. Someone's ammo is about to run dry and it's time to come up with a plan B. My guess is the US is running short of yen to shovel against the tide. The Fed can print dollars all day but they have to have the yen in hand. Oh well Obama said there would be costs if Russia didn't back down.


It crashes before the end of May.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:14 | 4712717 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

May of what year?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:34 | 4712769 Chief Wonder Bread
Chief Wonder Bread's picture

Anything to do with this?

"...last time the Fed board met to discuss "medium-term monetary policy issues" was on April 26, 2011, according to analysts at BNP Paribas."

Why does WSJ quote 'analysts' at BNP Paribas? Maybe they have a special interest?

Prosecuting the companies would break with a past practice of brokering settlements with large banks that are considered integral to the financial system. Previous probes have been resolved through so-called non-prosecution and deferred-prosecution agreements, which have been criticized by U.S. senators for failing to hold banks accountable for breaking the law. Preet Bharara, U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, responded last month, saying that “a significant financial institution” will soon be charged...

... To prepare for potential criminal charges, prosecutors have met with regulators including the New York Fed to discuss how to contain the fallout, the New York Times reported, citing records and unidentified lawyers.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:47 | 4713465 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

What if they just add onto each others balance sheets in bits and bytes - much more than "officially claimed"...

FED, ECB, Bank of Japan and Bank of England are not audited, so no one should notice and then they agree when economy picks up they will unwind... JPM, BofA, GS, DB, Citi and other big ones are all in on this and trying to put some of the shit on their balance sheets under "derivative transactions - OTC - interest related", but it all starts to spiral out of control because of the sheer magnitude of the rig. A lot of book-cookers with heart attacks, nervous break downs or jumping off the roof...

And collectively, they are like a gambler lending and stealing and scraping together more and more money, convinced he will "win back" the losses some time later and everything will be fine...

I'm just wondering about two things:

1) Did Putin maybe tell those crooks in 2013 that they should finally cut the crap because it's way too much now and they lead the world to the edge of disaster?

2) Is the PBOC in on this or not?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:45 | 4712571 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

Summary of Fed meeting:


Petroruble and Petroyuan.

Oh shit.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:28 | 4712197 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Why is it that picture of her face reminds me of an ostrich?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:59 | 4712351 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Looks more like 'OMG that's huge!"

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:06 | 4712400 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

One would think that Larry Summers could find a better wig.

Aaannnd make-up artist.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:34 | 4712523 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

What is missing from the picture is the caption " Yes I assure you we are quite safe from your rebel friends here"

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:22 | 4712172 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They were handed their scripts and they spent the emergency meeting preparing their lines.

I expect a Tony AwardTM nomination at a minimum.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:25 | 4712176 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:24 | 4712178 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

What Was Discussed???
How To Short More GOLD We Don't Have, To Keep The Keynesian Dollar From Imploding...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:19 | 4712152 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Why did they call an emergency meeting?

-Cuz there is an emergency.

What do i win?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:33 | 4712219 SoDamnMad
SoDamnMad's picture

You win a weeks paid vacation in Donesk, Ukraine  with "USA" lettered on the back of all your clothing.  Lucky you

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:24 | 4712483 rainingFrogs
rainingFrogs's picture

an autographed copy of Yellen's Central Banker's Illustrated deer-in-the-headlights centerfold, swimsuit edition.  huma! huma!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:25 | 4712184 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Yellen = Ashkenazi
Stein = Ashkenazi
Tarullo = Jesuit
Powell = Jesuit

Ashkenazi = ~1% of population; Jesuit = ~1% of population; but 100% of FED governors.

I guess that would be a fair representation for affected citizens ... in some alternative universe!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:30 | 4712198 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

what is the Jesuit angle, please explain... some kind of Illuminati stuff?

there is a similar composition to Supreme Court, so you may be on to something...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:38 | 4712246 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Washington DC: Military Arm of NWO

Vatican: 'Spiritual' Arm of NWO

Wall St./City of London/Frankfurt: Economic Arm of NWO

The Jesuits were writing world history all the way back in the late 17th century.   The important qualification is to be a sociopath, as far as I am concerned.  If you have proven yourself a violent sadist, or a cunning manipulator, you are 'in the club'.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:26 | 4712490 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

NWO needs a "spiritual arm"? lol...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:26 | 4712773 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Yep to put out the brainwashing to the masses to control them from that angle.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:47 | 4713466 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Jesuits psychopaths, violent sadists?  Not any of the ones I've known. Au contraire.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:06 | 4712385 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

Read: The Secret History of the Jesuits - by Edmund Paris (quick read)

Long 700 year history of geo-political intervention - Jesuits were Nazi collaborators 1930's - Pope Pius XII their man - and many of the european Bishops worked for Hitler

existing sitting Pope a Fascist collaborator in Argentina - trying now to make amends for his actions regarding the desperados etc

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:29 | 4712481 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

disagree with "Nazi collaborator" tripe - that is straight from anti-catholic Zio-media and has been thoroughly refuted ... and doesn't fit at all with the original point of ashkenazi/jesuit conspiracy....

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:35 | 4712526 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

The FBI just released records indicating that Hitler was not in the bunker and escaped to Argentina. U.K. records are sealed for a hundred years.


I suggest Greg Hallett's book, "Hitler Was A British" agent." It will show his training in Britain, Irish relatives etc.

It gets even better as more links such as this are popping up, some indicating that Der Fuhrer was a Rothschild and Angie is possibly his daughter.

Most everything you think you know could just be wrong.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:08 | 4712409 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The Jesuits are still trying to get even with Martin Luther (and apparently will stop at nothing to do so).

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:31 | 4712473 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Venetian Cardinal Gasparo Contarini was a leading supporter of the Reformation - in particular Martin Luther and the Swiss Calvinists - at the very same time as he was personally intervening with Pope Paul III to sanction Ignatius Loyola to form the Society of Jesus to conduct the Counter-Reformation!!!

In true Jesuit/Venetian/Khazar fashion, he was playing both sides. Nothing has changed since: Problem ... Reaction ... Solution.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:33 | 4712517 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

evidence for that? Contarini was for dialogue with the Reformers. That's quite a stretch between being willing to talk and being a supporter

further, the whole Counter-Reformation involved many other religious orders. I'd suggest you read both sides of the story, it gives you an interesting 3D effect

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:39 | 4712544 i-dog
i-dog's picture

As the leading member of the Spirituali, Contarini was not only a supporter of Martin Luther but also of Galileo and Copernicus (whose theories were the catalyst for the division of the Roman church).

You're too close to it to see the broader picture, Ghordius.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:47 | 4712555 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture
  • so the
  • great schism was because of astronomy? got it....
Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:22 | 4712748 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

You want to see someone play both sides?  Look no further than Cardinal Richelieu.  Damn near let his enemies destroy one another, before going in for the kill.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:59 | 4712653 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

The Captain Is not a big fan of Newton. In  fact he is a wealth of information hidden from the west. Once the calculus and gold was stolen from India, thus began the march of western civilization and industrialization.,

The Dutch East Indian Company was in Calicut in 1602, parleying with our Zamorin.

Even before that in  1580 Matteo Ricci borrowed Calculus Malayalam texts from Calicut in 1580, never to return it. (those days there were no fax or photostat machines). Whish and Hyne stole Calculus texts from Trichur Temple Library a few years later.

They too calculus to Europe, from where the likes of Gottyfried Wilhelm Von Liebniz, Isaac Newton and Robert Hooke raced with each other to translate, re-invent in their own names, in a acrimonious manner.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:10 | 4712418 Fast Twitch
Fast Twitch's picture

Google / YouTube Karen Hudes

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:25 | 4712486 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

the Jesuit Angle is what you get on websites like

there you read that Tarullo is Jesuit-trained, which means he went to a middle school run by Jesuits (like yours truly)

there you can read that Ike was a Knight of Malta (no, I'm not, I declined the last offer), among many others

and so stuff like what happened on the anniversary of the -quote- infamous Battle of Lepanto -unquote, which seems to be among the Jesuit Conspiracy theories, according to

Guy Fawkes? The guy famous for the Guy Fawkes Mask? A Jesuit Conspiracy Terrorist trying to destroy England or Freedom Fighter against the oppression of religious minorities in the realm? You decide, you'll find both versions since centuries

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:39 | 4712511 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

...both of the goys went to Georgetown at some point, hence Jesuit conspiracy!! I always try to be open minded but some of this stuff is too much to take...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:43 | 4712561 i-dog
i-dog's picture

Only you and Ghordius are crying "conspiracy!".

I was just quoting an interesting fact of contemporary representative government. You may call it "coincidence theory", if you like.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:45 | 4712568 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

and your original point was...? or maybe you're just a frustrated statistician?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 14:41 | 4713165 Telemakhos
Telemakhos's picture

Yeah, most Jesuits are actually fairly nice people who try to see goodness and potential in anyone.  The real reason the Jews and Jesuits (or Jesuit-educated people) both end up in positions of power throughout history is that both groups have strong traditions of intense education.  It's as simple as that.

Real conspiracies aren't entire demographic categories or religious movements: they're the guys who IM and e-mail to fix the LIBOR rate during their nine-to-five office hours, the NSA spies who are specifically employed to spy because their job is spying on people in their spy offices, the good-old-boys' network that makes business deals over golf when they're supposed to be in the office: real conspiracies tend to be work-related, not "identity"-related.  The concept of "identity," however dear to academia and fringe groups (both of whom have odd similarities in overthinking their research), isn't nearly as useful for examining the real world as knowing who works with whom in what fields.

I patiently await a torrent of downvotes.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:05 | 4712666 Golden Rule
Golden Rule's picture

"Yellen = Ashkenazi Khazarian
Stein = Ashkenazi Khazarian
Tarullo = Jesuit
Powell = Jesuit"

There fixed it for ya.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:44 | 4713453 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Similar profile for the SCOTUS.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:16 | 4712139 CPL
CPL's picture

It's only weds in the new week and it's only going to get so much weirder. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:29 | 4712161 ugmug
ugmug's picture

The FED has been digitizing so much money that they forgot what real money looks like.

So an emergency meeting was held to pass around real printed money and use it like a sex toy in exactly the same way Wall Street has been doing since its inception.


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:31 | 4712211 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Real printed money is an oxymoron

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:17 | 4712143 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Unfortunately, as others point out below.  real emergency meetings and the items discussed will NOT be disclosed to the public.

That's the fucking problem, there can be no "informed consent" if everything that really matters is being done in secret.

Audit the fucking Fed!!  Then END the FED!

Tick tock motherfuckers...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:21 | 4712165 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

I believe we have consensus.  

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:32 | 4712215 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

If there is something major brewing, I can guarantee it has already been disucssed in depth informally.  A meeting such as this could simply be a rubber stamp action.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:36 | 4712239 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Do you suppose they will ever tell us what they rubber stamped?

shell game without a pea


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:01 | 4712278 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

If they want to keep up appearances, they would have to assume that such rubber stamp meetings may be subject to future release.  Therefore, it would be wise to announce them and have something to hand out in the event that Congress decides to review what happened, or there is some successful FOIA request.  If something goes south, and eventually something is going to go south, they're going to want some meeting minutes to hand to the angry masses.  This way, they get to have talks in back rooms AND have something to hand the public. 


We have a restaurant in Santa Fe called the Bull Ring where a lot of the state legislators go to eat and talk shop.  Then they go into committee, or onto the floor and publicly talk shop, and eventually vote.  A lot of discussion happens off the books.  Federal politics, and private or not, the Fed is involved in federal politics, ratchets this kind of shit up 10 notches. 


Edit:  Perhaps we could start calling this Bull Ring Poltics.  It has a *ring* to it.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:14 | 4712430 Sambo
Sambo's picture

On a long enough timeline......

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:44 | 4712204 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

"Representative" government derives its legitimacy from the use of its monopoly on violence.  Nothing else.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:01 | 4712364 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Which is exactly why we have the present Bozos in office.  The lesser informed the voter, the bigger the Bozo. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:04 | 4712075 DavidC
DavidC's picture

With the indices up near all time highs and nothing happening in the economy that is any good, does she try to rein in the stock markets or pump even more money in to the banking system that is doing NOTHING of any good?

I hope she's got more balls than Bernanke or Greenspan.


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:06 | 4712089 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

We've crossed the Rubicon.  Yellin could be the best Fed chair ever and it wouldn't matter. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:26 | 4712160 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@El Vaquero

Yep.  It's a fait accompli, just got to ride out the coming shit storm.  Hopefully, when the shit subsides, we'll have enough sense as a society to rid ourselves of central bankers.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:37 | 4712243 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

One thing is clear and that is their power is dervied from the USD and they will do whatever is necessary to ensure it remains the world reserve currency.  Not that they will be successful ultimately but they will surely try.  With no USD, they have little to no means of control.

That's why untapering the taper is not a sure bet.

They will allow the economy to collapse, murder half the population, and put the rest in FEMA camps before allowing the USD to be killed off.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:41 | 4712266 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Their pawns are the US Gov't and the USD.

One will have to go, though, because we are in a terminal phase.  Either the gov't will have to make massive changes (budget cuts, don't make me laugh), or the USD will lose world reserve currency status. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:06 | 4712087 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

One of the fed idiots should not interested

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712039 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Pretty much that, LoPdood.

They had advance look at the GDP release.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712059 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

Enforce Chapter 6, Section 19 of the Coinage Act of 1792?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:03 | 4712071 yrad
yrad's picture

Why did the corrupt, central planning, narcissistic, Keynesian, war mongering, debt soaked, destroyer of wealth, Federal Reserve Chairwoman cross the road?  

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:07 | 4712093 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Because there was a wall, and her face wasn't quite flat enough. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:29 | 4712202 813kml
813kml's picture

Because the snakes wouldn't let her dig a tunnel, they don't like her kind.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:36 | 4712235 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

they had free bagels and lox on the other side?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:04 | 4712076 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Shadow banking getting stressed again?


Tick tock indeed.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:12 | 4712117 Confused
Confused's picture

Secret meeting topic: Pull the plug, or Brace for impact. Depends on their self-perceived level of control. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:40 | 4712548 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Maybe she passed out cyanide pills for each of them in case their monstrosity completely implodes, so they can take the easy way out.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:53 | 4712327 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Shadow banking getting stressed again?"

Wonder if a bunch of our EFH bonds were insured (CDS) by AIG?  Could be they (AIG, or some other bond underwriter) are fixin' to crash again.  You can't have one of the largest corporate bankruptcies on record without rattling some foundations somewhere, can you?

Or, Buffet wanted something.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:21 | 4712168 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Why did they ----?  To decide who would order in lunch ?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:51 | 4712604 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

"There ain't nuthin uglier than an old white woman."  Fred Sanford

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:19 | 4713353 fishmonger
fishmonger's picture

"...other than an old black woman." -Archie Bunker

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712020 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

QE to the moon and back?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712043 SHEEPFUKKER

I'm sure it was just a meeting to discuss what they will talk about at the other meeting. lol

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:14 | 4712125 sleigher
sleigher's picture

You laugh but I go to meetings like that.  *sigh*

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:15 | 4712435 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

My org is replacing our ERP software. I've been to meetings that started over two years ago that have still YET to progress to a decision making phase, even though we've gotten signed contracts from multiple vendors who will have to work together... SOMEHOW????

The project manager likes to pretend he's keeping "all of the options open."

Meanwhile, every milestone is labeled "TBD." (other than the handful rendered MOOT)

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712022 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

the buffet had run out of gravy and yellen was furious.  yellen demanded answers when she realized hitting ctrl-g didnt magically put gravy in her trough.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:09 | 4712699 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Vice-chair is the power behind the throne now. Yes-llen.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712023 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Just knowing about the emergency meeting is valuable intelligence; thanks to Zero Hedge.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:22 | 4712170 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Absolutely! I wonder who was at that meeting via Skype.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:57 | 4712348 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Skype can never be used at events such as this, bilderberg gatherings, davos, skull and bones, etc etc.

They know big NSA is watching and wouldn't want to give anyone else an edge....only the chosen people are allowed to profit from their raping and piliging

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:23 | 4712753 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

absotively bullish... a fed emergency can only mean more $$$ for everyone!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712024 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

me thinks .1% may have something to do with it?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712025 achmachat
achmachat's picture

of course a possible bank holiday from May 1st over the weekend!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:58 | 4712026 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

"Janet, you hold this card up with your left foot, while Art and I hold these two cards up with our right and left wait, that won't work.  Hold on a minute, let me figure this out before this whole house comes crashing down.   Oops.  Too late.  Duck!"

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 15:53 | 4713482 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

House of cards?

You mean we should buy NFLX?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712028 synergize
synergize's picture

Obviously about Donald Sterling - Yellen is a Clippers fan...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712100 813kml
813kml's picture

The FED is considering seizing and reselling the Clippers, that's half a day of QE right there.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:14 | 4712124 knukles
knukles's picture

Right now under a forced sale the Clippers are worth about Zero

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:17 | 4712141 813kml
813kml's picture

The forced sale will have no affect on value, the same parties would have been bidding against each other under a voluntary sale.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:18 | 4712146 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Funny, how I don't give a shit about the Clippers.  That people are distracted by such minutia when we're poking Russia with a stick speaks volumes.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:02 | 4712375 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

What is this Clippers I hear people talking about? Must be really important. It's days like these when I regret not having TV.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:16 | 4712446 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Long story short: Racist NBA owner is racist. Film at 11.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 12:07 | 4712359 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Then I bid $500, hell I don't even watch "Baket Ball"(sic), but there's value if I can snag it at my bid!

(I'll issue my players "shares")

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712031 slotmouth
slotmouth's picture

In the medium term we're all dead.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:18 | 4712148 knukles
knukles's picture

And in the short term, we're all fucked

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712034 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

'We gots to get our damn story straight, muthafuckas!!'

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 10:59 | 4712038 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Maybe they were discussing Spring fashion? Wouldn't want Mr. Yellen to make a fashion faux pas at the next press conference. I'm sure that's all it was.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:20 | 4712155 knukles
knukles's picture

Well beings spring, she can wear white.
But can she wear flip flops?

There's a new Johnny Kohn brand of flip flops.  "I wore them before I didn't"

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:22 | 4712169 superflex
superflex's picture

Funeral Black or Funeral Black with pearls.

That's the extent of her garb.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712044 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

So they could BTFD?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712045 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

Didn't they used to do this quite often in '09 - '10? Seemed like they were always having "emergency" meetings then.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712047 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

When it gets serious, you have to lie.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712048 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

"Sunshine act"? WTF???

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:04 | 4712079 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Where is Truth in Sunshine today? This post is tailor made for him. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:20 | 4712153 Mister Ponzi
Mister Ponzi's picture

Tyler probably wanted to write "Sunstein Act"...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:22 | 4712164 knukles
knukles's picture

Today is National Honesty Day.

Didju all know that?
Uh huh...

Maybe Obie will address the nation about his birt ... nah ... never mind...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 13:47 | 4712842 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

National honesty day?  Does this mean that we won't hear a peep out of the WH today?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712101 pods
pods's picture

People might raise an eyebrow if they simply said they were a private company and tough shit if you want to know what we are saying.


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:10 | 4712110 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

The act is aptly named.  It's about sunshine being inserted in our collective anus.  When the act gets a bit more truthy, it'll be renamed to the Smoke Act.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:14 | 4712127 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Blow sunshine up the ass of sheeple everywhere. 

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:14 | 4712128 813kml
813kml's picture

That would make Orwell smirk.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:00 | 4712050 kito
kito's picture

a real emergency meeting wouldnt have been announced. that much im sure of.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712066 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:15 | 4712130 jay28elle
jay28elle's picture

wait for it. wait for it....


Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:01 | 4712053 813kml
813kml's picture

"medium-term monetary policy issues"

AKA what to do in the next five minutes, long-term policy involves planning an hour into the future.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:55 | 4712322 viahj
viahj's picture

medium term 'cuz they ain't no long term no'mo

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:03 | 4712056 joego1
joego1's picture

They were discussing Putins recent financial move- "check".

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712061 JailBank
JailBank's picture

Does this mean even the ECB doesn't want our debt anymore?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712062 schooltruth
schooltruth's picture

Pure speculation but what if BAC wasn't the only one that struggled with the math on their stress tests?

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4712069 JailBank
JailBank's picture

Hey math is not used in banking a lot so I understand how this could happen.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712102 JRobby
JRobby's picture

What if

If Then

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:03 | 4712070 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Sunshine Act ...cant use weather as excuse with Sunshine Act..
...Its all an "Act"!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:27 | 4712191 joego1
joego1's picture

Don't miss Bath house Berry and Old Yeller in the new  musical;

"We're blowing Sunshine up your Ass"

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:03 | 4712072 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Perhaps a few banks need some emergency assistance.  It doesn't require a TBTF bank to bring down the system.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:03 | 4712074 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Probably was to get Hank Paulsons phone number....a bigger crisis is on its way.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:04 | 4712077 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Half of European banks got downgraded to negative today that's why!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:14 | 4712126 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture

Belgium wants out.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:05 | 4712081 XRAYD
XRAYD's picture

It was obviously to "school" Yellen about something!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:05 | 4712083 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Possibly mapping out Obamaville

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:05 | 4712084 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Yellen gang-bang? just a guess

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:07 | 4712092 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

runnign around in a panic like lunitics should not be made public

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712095 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

Yellen wanted to enquire wether she should decrease the bowl size for her next hair cut...she wants more of a pixie!

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712098 B2u
B2u's picture

they could not agree on what to order for lunch tomorrow...

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712103 john milton
john milton's picture

Russian hacker army stole most of the QE money in bitcoin-style..

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:55 | 4712337 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

And are pissed because they found out it was worthless.

Wed, 04/30/2014 - 11:08 | 4712104 Conax
Conax's picture

And what happened May 1st, 2011?  That was the Sunday night drive-by, the assault began 30 minutes before they released the Osama's dead bullshit.

Lookout below, Silver.  Here they come again.  They're rolling down the windows..


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