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IMF Warns Ukraine: Fight For The East Or No Money

Tyler Durden's picture


IMF approved the $17bn tranched loan to Ukraine last night, Gazprom gets paid; Ukraine gets its cash; and the door's wide open for the US and EU to pour more 'controlling influence' into the divided nation... Except there's one thing:


Which, roughly translated, appears to mean go to war with pro-Russian forces (and thus Russia itself if Putin sees his apparent countrymen in trouble) or you don't get your money!

Some other items of note include:


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Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:12 | 4716023 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Who's your momma Ukraine? 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:15 | 4716042 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

The IMF wants to pay Gazprom?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:20 | 4716072 Looney
Looney's picture

They (and us, the US) will be paying Gazprom for the Ukrainian gas for a veddy-veddy long time. Unfortunately...


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:26 | 4716110 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

So now the IMF is outright saying - "We will pay for War!" - WTF!!!!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:33 | 4716140 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

That's not really the issue.

The problem is the tax revenues from that rich farmland in the East.  If those regions go independent and join Russia, so does the tax revenue.

The western regions are all parasites hoping to get on EU benefits programs.  They don't pay taxes.

If the tax revs disappear, the IMF spreadsheets blow up.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:41 | 4716176 813kml
813kml's picture

The IMF spreadsheet blew up a long time ago, none of this is about money.  Ukraine is all about trying to bring Russia to heel.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:41 | 4716180 Arius
Arius's picture

17 billion redesigned comes down to 7-8-9 billion?

what is worth the life of few hunderds/thousands ukr ... those balckwater guys dont come cheap either ...


choices ... choices

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:43 | 4716194 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture



There's a gold market problem.

IMF needs a back story.

Get to work Mr. Yatsenyuk!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:53 | 4716251 dryam
dryam's picture

Sounds like the way the US federal government operates with the states; play by our rules or you won't get federal dollars. We don't have real power over you & the law doesn't support our position, but it's your choice to get this money or not. It's called extortion.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:55 | 4716255 Manthong
Manthong's picture

This is astounding.

They have opened their kimono completely..

It is all about buying a country and unbridled violent coercion.

We should all be ashamed to have anything to do with this assault on freedom.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:13 | 4716366 KnightsofNee
KnightsofNee's picture

What freedom?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:19 | 4716397 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

So manthong and others, really, can we do anything at all? 

Is the collective now totally helpless?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:43 | 4716533 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Without sound money this bullshit will continue world wide.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:57 | 4716616 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture



This is like getting to choose between two slave owners.


Dear people of Ukraine, please choose the third option.  


P.S.  I'm not sure what the third option is, so you may have to get creative on that one.


Oh and...... good luck.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:06 | 4716662 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

International Mother...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:15 | 4716697 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

The 'NEW' FightClub.  You get paid after you lose.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:30 | 4716770 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Ori.. the pro-Russian “separatists” (gotta’ love that term, all they really want is to get back what they had before the west intruded) are doing it with all manner of arms including beautifully embellished truncheons.

We will do it by starving the beast.. I would rather not have to pick up a truncheon no matter how splendid.

It will take some time, but the people are pretty clever and stuff is developing.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 16:09 | 4717472 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

All wars are bankster wars!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:30 | 4716764 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

The IMF can go to the Fed and say "Hey, print a few billion and launder it through POMO to us."

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:03 | 4716895 Malachi Constant
Malachi Constant's picture

Correction: Without letting the concept of PROFIT go this bullshit will continue worldwide.

Sound money, unsound schmoney - it's irrelevant.

Who are you to decide you "deserve" something? You already have what you need: body, water, air, food. Everything else your imagination - and you want everyone else to obey your imagination.

If you are driven by the promise of a reward, you are the problem. If you would do whatever you do even if you'd die of hunger, you are the solution.

If you create, you are the solution. If you prevent others from creating (by withholding information, too), you are the problem.

When you do what you want, you are happy. The world becomes better by 1 person.

When you lie to yourself in exchange for mansions and maybachs, you are neither living yourself nor letting others. You make the world hell for many people - including yourself.

Example: what on Earth makes Putin think it's "his" gas? It was there since forever; since when there was no one in the Universe to say "gas" or "Russia". It's Earth's gas. His fees are not for the gas, but for not letting anyone use it.

He's a bridge troll, like every government, like every merchant - especially in the intellectual property industry. "Instead of teaching you, I will fleece you. I would rather live among poor, uneducated, unhappy slaves than among equals, because surrounded by slaves I look like I am important."

And all for what? In a few years he'll be as dead and useless as the poorest sissiest leper 1,000 years ago.

What "profit"? What "I me mine" can there be?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:24 | 4717000 Jadr
Jadr's picture

It's a great idea in theory but it doesn't work given human nature.  Perhaps you should read about the tragedy of commons.  If there is no ownership of anything then people are not motivated to put their effort into developing the land they live on.  Your idea has been tried numerous times and failed every time.  There are some great stories of early US colonist groups which took an approach like you suggest and they failed due to lack of food.  Many of the groups were wiped out while others developed property rights before it was too late and began to survive and then flourished.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:10 | 4717171 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Governor Bradford and Plimoth Plantation (the Mayflower)... start there.

Tue, 05/27/2014 - 00:49 | 4797499 Malachi Constant
Malachi Constant's picture

tragedy of commons

is a BS concept, invented to prevent you from looking in this direction. You approach the issue from an erroneous side: you think "How will I profit, if my neighbors don't care about profits?" Try thinking "What other ways of approaching a problem are there, other than profit?" For example, I like to see dirty dishes become clean under my hands, upset kids calm down, apples picked, etc. I don't feel the urge to be paid for doing any of these - why do you? I never set a price for my professional work - pay what you think is OK. Some people can afford $500, some $20. Who am I to "correct" them?

If there is no ownership of anything then people are not motivated to put their effort into developing the land they live on

What is it that you own that will stay yours after your death?

Your idea has been tried numerous times and failed every time

I am trying this idea every day. I am not rich measured in gold, that's true, but I am alive, healthy and have everything I need. When did YOU try this idea last time?

began to survive and then flourished

As in "they are still alive, pay no extortion fees, and follow nobody's orders"?

Nevermind my comment. I realize that you are normal and perfectly fit for this world, while I am the opposite.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:21 | 4716726 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

Not helpLESS but help more Oh.  Still to much to lose for way to many.  There are just way to many ways to keep oneself alive without having to fight for it, so plenty of "help" available.

Know your enemy


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:17 | 4716968 Jadr
Jadr's picture

Freedom for the Ukrainians to demonstrate self-determination and determine which set of oligarchs they want to cozy up with.  I don't like the idea of Russia expanding its borders but I also don't like the idea of the coup government killing the other Ukrainians that want nothing to do with the new government.  Sections of Eastern Ukraine should be able to form their own autonomous government if they desire.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:53 | 4717120 Matt
Matt's picture

The People of Crimea chose to secede, then they chose to be annexed y Russia. IF the majority desire to be part of Russia rather than be independant, I guess it is their choice. Whether subsections can secede from the smalle State, and be independant, I suppose that would be right, but will likely not be allowed. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:56 | 4716609 Nigh Eve
Nigh Eve's picture

Perhaps Russia could simply purchase from Ukraine the 3 eastern-most oblasts for $25 to $30 billion.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:17 | 4716706 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Rent is the answer.  They can rent them for $9 billion/yr.  99-yr lease.  Oh yeah, that's what Crimea was supposed to be about....nevermind.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:05 | 4717155 Matt
Matt's picture

And then charge $10 Billion / year for natural gas, sounds like a real win-win to me.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:45 | 4716203 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Agreed. Pretty blatant anouncement; surprised more people don't notice what they're saying.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:54 | 4716257 813kml
813kml's picture

The Banksters know exactly how worthless paper money is since they print it into existence.  The IMF is a global payday loan shack, it's all about entrapping the desperate into doing its bidding.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:20 | 4716401 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

The Economic Hitmen as well as the Jackels are very busy pillaging what's remaining of what was once a Soverign Country.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:33 | 4716475 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

"What was once Sovereign Country"..

hardly..not thru history much..never, was never Ukraine ...nor last 23 years...sovereign in real 

and no country is Sovereign full of "Oligarch" control..thus also describes all western countries...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:35 | 4716780 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Right, because the eastern countries don't have oligarchs...

Sovereignty is in the self.  Do you, as a person, have enough knowledge and power to be sovereign?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:08 | 4717161 Matt
Matt's picture

Reading comprehension.

"and no country is Sovereign full of "Oligarch" control..thus also describes all western countries..."

No country that is full of oligarchs, including the west, is soveriegn. The poster in no way made any exclusion for any eastern country.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:33 | 4718899 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

Da...west is one in terrible denial though...

Russians accept more in real.....

Russia has more work to do..

laws are bad...23 years amazing work has been done, but old soviet laws linger..

I think has been good cautious paced work, rather than throw kid out with bath water...

hop before jump....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:36 | 4716788 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

The irony is, once they have all the money it will be worth even less; perhaps even 'worthless.'

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:21 | 4716413 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

My feeling is that we are going to see a surprising amoutn of force on the IMF's side, increasingly.

It is the IRS of the World bank, in some twisted way.

The enforcer.....the poverty maker.....

A good name to associate: Stanley Fischer...


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:24 | 4716429 813kml
813kml's picture

John Perkins wrote the book (literally) on Economic Hitmen.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:33 | 4716474 john39
john39's picture

i agree.  they are pushed into a corner.  do or die time for them, they won't turn back from their dream of total conquest...  not when they believe they are so close.   but alas, all illusion as they will soon discover.

Chapter 29

Those who wish to take the world and control it
I see that they cannot succeed
The world is a sacred instrument
One cannot control it
The one who controls it will fail
The one who grasps it will lose

Because all things:
Either lead or follow
Either blow hot or cold
Either have strength or weakness
Either have ownership or take by force

Therefore the sage:
Eliminates extremes
Eliminates excess
Eliminates arrogance

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:40 | 4716521 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Reminds me or a song long ago...

'..How low can you go...?..."

Limbo Rock, I believe...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:59 | 4717118 CPL
CPL's picture

Let's congratulate the IMF first for the announcement in confirming what most people understood what the organization was all about.  Because in a single public announcement they've revealed their weakness, location, position and motivations; completely by accident. 

Which is fantastic.  Sooner they throw themselves off the board, the sooner we can get started.

What the IMF believes happened:

What actually just happened:

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:04 | 4716302 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

@Tyler's or anybody else:


Any idears why IMF is issueing Ukraine SDR's (Special Drawing Rights) rather than fiat U.S. dollars???

Is there some underlying message there that dollars are not good enough maybe???

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:21 | 4716409 Edward1290
Edward1290's picture

get ready for some Serious inflation

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:03 | 4716643 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture



The dollar will be history.  SDR's will be a transitional NWO currency device.  


The US dollar has been used fully and will be discarded by the NWO as THE reserve currency after the reset.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:29 | 4716758 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Yep, the downside to the NWO re: the USD has always been that the American People 'unfairly' benefitted from reserve currency status (as opposed to the SDR, which will benefit ONLY the bankster elite)

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:35 | 4716786 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

nationstates are fictions, as are their fiat currencies.

plug's been pulled, drain circling in progess.

those who write the fiction-stories never wave the fiction-flags.

that's for the masses to imbibe.

act accordingly folks.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:44 | 4716821 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

truth titillates the imagination far less than fiction.

- marquis de sade

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:38 | 4716796 Jano
Jano's picture

'cause thats their bookkeeping.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:52 | 4717117 hobopants
hobopants's picture

I just can't figure out what is to be gained by pissing off Russia, sheer hubiris or are they intentionally trying to destroy the dollar?


Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:49 | 4720125 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

813kml:  "The IMF spreadsheet blew up a long time ago, none of this is about money.  Ukraine is all about trying to bring Russia to heel."


The 'money' is an illusion. Made up out of nothing with computer keystrokes. So, they literally loaned . . . nothing.

This is no different than some king on a throne passing out 'royal decrees'. (They must be 'legit' because the king's 'official' seal is on them !)  Their royal decrees are in the form of fiat nothings. On them might as well be printed "The king gives you this official looking paper, and you give him the goods you produce & your labor services . . . serf. Now bend over, the king is feeling frisky ! "

Its really quite hilarious when you think about it. The joke's on us, because we never understood the comedy.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:42 | 4716177 Arius
Arius's picture


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:53 | 4716246 intric8
intric8's picture

Speechless arius? This is perfect. Its the wests chicken shit way out of the entire fiasco, if they ever choose to back out. They'll just say ukraine didnt have the resolve to act for themselves, so why should the eu or u.s.?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:06 | 4716314 Arius
Arius's picture

my post is above, sorry was dublicate.  btw, you dont make sense, what are you sayin"?  can you be more clear in simple senteces with yes and no answers ... are you with us or against us? ... lol

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:49 | 4716576 intric8
intric8's picture

Sorry, i am most assuredly with you. What im thinking here is that this threat to pull the loan serves a few purposes, first obviously to motivate ukraine into fighting the 'russian seperatists', (i did offer an opinion here on zh days ago how the ukraine soldiers would have a morale problem because of the bullshit pretext involved with this mess), and secondly, to set up a further excuse for the u.s. to pull out of ukraine in case circumstances warrant it. They'll blame everything on ukraine, like 'not being interested enough in their own freedom', or 'they even turned away the generous hand of financial assistance' and other nonsense. That 'battleground ukraine' post really shed some light on who the ukrainians are really fighting for, and if anyone there has a half way decent understanding of the issue, more and more ukraine soldiers will be putting on masks and joining the seperatists side.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:04 | 4716649 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Like Vietnam...One side by day, the other side by night...??

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:43 | 4716802 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Vietnam will be the model for the war in Ukraine.  Rules of engagement, but this time for all sides (except the Ukrainians because they don't matter).  The war will be sharp, but contained which will allow the governments of all nations involved to push a powerful fear agenda in their own countries, drive up government taxes, spending and borrowing so the MIC and Global Banks get richer while the peoples of the nations involved bleed out in a slow and painful death.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:56 | 4716865 blindman
blindman's picture

the imf payment will be to the "elite"
in ukraine to spend in germany, the us, israel,
france, etc. and will accomplish the depopulation
of the country, ukraine, by the hand of boris.
that is the proposal to the people. take this credit
money to be spent by your overlords and commit a
particularly cruel form of suicide.
what a deal. only a bankster could sell that
deal to a suffering people, then the bank will
declare there has been substantial growth justifying
more credit money to be stolen and more people
the war business, beware the m.i.c. he said.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:12 | 4716945 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Bingo blindman who sees...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:44 | 4716188 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:30 | 4717278 Mr. Delicious
Mr. Delicious's picture

I believe farmland is in the center and west, mostly.  The east/southeast has the industry.  otherwise agree.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:33 | 4716146 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The shit-show must go on, at any cost. Starting to get the feeling that this is all leading up to the big thing that's supposed to distract everyone from the collapse of the global ponzi.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:50 | 4716234 Edward1290
Edward1290's picture

This was all scipted back in early 2009 when Timmy G was flying all over the world....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:07 | 4716663 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture


The shit-show must go on, at any cost. Starting to get the feeling that this is all leading up to the big thing that's supposed to distract everyone from the collapse of the global ponzi.


Yes, and yes.   The propaganda machines are cranked up to 11 now.  Clock is ticking.   

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:48 | 4716560 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Marc Faber said it in 2008.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:05 | 4716655 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Albert Pike-- 1871...!!!!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:30 | 4716765 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

Thanks for this Mesquite.  Most here likely know of Pike but in the odd chance some do not it would be worth your time to read up!

Know your enemy!


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:39 | 4716798 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

the distraction isn't to cover global ponzi, its to cover Muslim invasion, the ponzi is the distraction, the EU is a non-state Muslim pig farm, everybody in the EU is now a "tenant" to Islam. 

BTW the Tribe does really well under Muslim rule, so well in fact one could say they engineered it, they called it "the Golden Age".

Christians called it the "Dark Ages"



Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:40 | 4717075 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

In that time, Jews were a particular class of society, not just an ethnicity.  Follow different laws (allowed to charge usury), work in different professions (banking, for e.g.).  Often as Imperial representatives.  Even then, it was known that the big money was in indebting empires, nations, governments, and in return getting concessions, such as monopolies or collateral.  Remember the Fuggers...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:33 | 4716148 toady
toady's picture

Yep. That's about as close as we'll get to TPTB outright showing their hand.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:35 | 4716158 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

its very obvious now

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:46 | 4716209 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture


I'm trying to find a source for this that doesn't circle back to zerohedge. I'm not questioning this, just looking for a source. Anyone have one? Where is this coming from?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:50 | 4716232 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Just a guess, but twitter?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:00 | 4716284 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

I'm finding it lots of places... but all of those places seem to use zerohedge as a source (or don't site a source). In theory, if zerohedge wanted to create events, I suppose it could. Again, I don't think that's what's happening here, I just can't find it anywhere else. I want to send this to a friend, but I can't send him ZH links... his response is always the same. I can always find an original source to send to him instead, but I can't here.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:15 | 4716350 caustixoid
caustixoid's picture

How hard did you look?

IMF warns Ukraine on bailout if it loses east
Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:17 | 4716388 caustixoid
caustixoid's picture

CNBC article includes this juicy quote:


"This is something of a leap of faith for the IMF and is politically driven by key IMF shareholders to support the (interim prime minister Arseniy) Yatseniuk "kamikaze" administration in its reform efforts," according to Tim Ash, head of emerging markets research at Standard Bank.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:43 | 4716513 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

This shows why you should trust somebody who does more than a half hearted search. (Me, doing a half hearted search vs this.)


I've generally found that the Tylers have something to back up their assertions when I've checked.  And I have checked, and sometimes a lot more than half heartedly. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:51 | 4716580 caustixoid
caustixoid's picture

I totally trust you El Vaq!  You've built up cred. 

Absolutely right about the Tylers.  They are cutting edge, so are often outfront of the MSM, which can lead people to question if they're just making stuff up.   In fairness to kridkird the CNBC story might have appeared after his search.  As you say, it may be the tylers follow  secret twitter feeds. 


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:09 | 4717166 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Thanks for the link. Exactly what I was looking for...and while I didn't scour the intewebz, I did copy and paste some phrases from the tyler blurb... which usually takes me to lots of articles. I'm seeing more now.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:13 | 4716365 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Like I say, twitter may be the culprit.  I generally don't see tweets on internet searches. 


But it is good that you are being skeptical.  I did some half hearted searching and didn't find the source either.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:13 | 4716340 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Closest thing I could find was..


""Anything that undermines the economic situation of (Ukraine) will jeopardize the implementation of the program, which is why we very strongly encourage the parties to negotiate, to come to terms," Lagarde told reporters after the board's decision."


From WSJ:

 Further turmoil in eastern Ukraine, or a ramping up of the sanctions battle, would likely accelerate Ukraine's economic downturn. That would make needed budget belt-tightening, which is already a politically unpopular exercise, that much tougher. It could also raise external financing requirements.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:35 | 4716153 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Yes, yes they will. My solution is to chain those slimy banksters across the border as human shields then let's see just how quickly they call back the dogs of (banker's) war.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:57 | 4716557 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

(Tongue in cheek)  Russian counter-offer:  Ukraine, if you join us we'll forget about the debt. Together we'll toss out the crooks like we did with the criminal oligarchs during Yeltsin. We'll raise the price of gas to the EU to help pay for improvements in Ukraine. We're working up some trade & business deals with the BRICs and you'll be a part of them. You actually won't wake up some day to see that your country has been liened to banksters from the West, and there won't be war & ruin like there was in the former Yugoslavia.  Any pro West types can immigrate to the EU. We'll help with that like the U.S. does with people from Mexico sneaking across their border. All this would be subject to a vote by all your people. We don't want the headache of dealing with people who don't want to be with us. Unlike the psycho western banksters, we don't measure all value by the cash register but this works out much better for us. This proposal would be far less expensive in money and lives than going to war (which may even escalate to global nuclear war).

Win - Win   ;)

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:42 | 4716816 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

May be tongue-in-cheek, but sounds pretty reasonable to me.  You should be a diplomat, HardAssets.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:51 | 4716849 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

the reasonability is exactly why it won't happen.  

Rule of thumb, if it is good for the people it won't happen.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 16:05 | 4717459 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture



The IMF is saying, "We will get all our money back - and lots more - by raping you for arms and ammo."


There - fixed it for you.


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:26 | 4716111 bania
bania's picture

When is the IMF going to start demanding Ukraine women sent to Brussels?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4716129 123dobryden
123dobryden's picture

they are already there

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:37 | 4716493 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I thought Femen was already in Brussels.  I have no clue what they're protesting, but I like it when they protest.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:59 | 4716884 homme
homme's picture

Talented buncha gals but they seem a little pissed

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:07 | 4717160 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Lard-ass in Steven King's 'Stand by Me' got a sex change?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:34 | 4717039 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I saw a picture yesterday that showed what the area of Brussels looked like the last time CO2 levels in the atmosphere were this high. It had the city superimposed on it  (it was mostly under water). Every cloud has a silver lining. I hope those Ukrainian women can swim.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:42 | 4717083 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Co2 levels have no effect on global climate. The warmer global climate that melted the ice caps caused dissolved Co2 to come out of solution in the ocean; by standard high school chemistry process. warmer liquid holds less gass in solution. Congratulations on being made a sucker by propaganda designed for the ignorant.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:18 | 4717211 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

You're merely aguing cause or effect, not necessarily result, but I spent my winter in Minnesota - and its true - not much sign of warming here this year or last, when winter lingered on until nearly May. I do admit I have been pulling for the global warming folks as I can't really see any downside for me personally. I get a milder winter and a warmer climate with a longer growing season. If Brussels ends up under water what is that to me?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:59 | 4716628 dbTX
dbTX's picture

Sounds like a John Kerry brokered deal.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:27 | 4716122 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:17 | 4716966 Zirpedge
Zirpedge's picture

They have too. The EU has no backup plan to get nat gas. One might infer that this is a huge giveaway to the oil companies and that the banks and oil companies are colluding from both sides Russia and the West. Not like they haven't done this before. War is good. It makes us healthy, wealthy and wise.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:17 | 4716045 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Looks like the other $15 Billion offered to Ukraine by Russia, before the Coup, is looking awfully good right now.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:25 | 4716108 john39
john39's picture

Kiev regime will have to use that money to pay mercenaries to do the fighting.  It seems apparent that the Ukrainian military isn't that excited about the prospect of killing other Ukranians...  much less risking a shooting war with Russian troops.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:56 | 4716250 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Mercenaries are #2 on my shit list after bankers. Both groups are soulless and spread death and misery in their quest for riches.

Blackwater, etc. are used to picking on poor sand farmers with almost zero defense capabilities. It will be amusing to watch them go up against a more worthy adversary. Let's hope they packed enough body bags.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:49 | 4716843 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Mentioned this yesterday but it's worth repeating. Defintion of Blackwater is, basically, sewage.  They shouldn't have changed the name; they got it right the first time.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:47 | 4716215 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Hey, you. Mofo. We want to buy your country; and fuck you if you don't like it. Wow.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:16 | 4716380 ciscokid
ciscokid's picture

"There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt." … John Adams, 1826

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:24 | 4716427 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

Acting Ukrainian president just announced conscription by decree. Looks like they're going to fight for the east.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:48 | 4716556 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:51 | 4716848 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Ukraine reinstates conscription as crisis deepens
Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:00 | 4716634 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

Related article


There have been many wars — terrible wars — fought on Planet Earth over the past 100 years.  However, the greatest war of them all could literally around the corner, unless it is stopped by the people of this planet. The epic confrontation in the Ukraine presents the most dangerous and unprecedented conflict between the world’s superpowers since the breakup of the Soviet Union.  Truly, this clash between East and West represents an economic, political and religious battleground that will dwarf every other war save WWI and WWII.  If the conflict in the Ukraine is not resolved peacefully, it has the potential of evolving into a full blown World War III scenario.


The Latest and Biggest Battle Between East and West Converges in the Ukraine

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:09 | 4716674 Payne
Payne's picture

How well have ultimatums worked in Greece,  not at all.  Ukraine will attempt to hold it together nothing more.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:09 | 4716932 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

T hat;s some sick shit, Dude. Here's some money, go die for us. fuuuck.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:44 | 4717095 holmes
holmes's picture

Ukraine call up McWarmonger. He's ready to put on the gloves.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 16:19 | 4717509 doctor10
doctor10's picture

Evil Effer's -somebody finally put enough cash in the pot to make a bar fight "worthwhile"

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:15 | 4716036 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Should be the EMF, Evil Monetary Fund.  IMF is just a collection of the criminal banking cabel on a worldwide level.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4716130 813kml
813kml's picture

There's always a catch in the fine print when dealing with the soulless Banksters.  Worthless blood money.

Another notch on the belt for the Economic Hitman.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:35 | 4716157 maskone909
maskone909's picture

there is no reason to worry.  Belgium will surely pick up the tab for the gas bill.  those crazy belgiums are like monetary superheros.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:44 | 4716199 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Yeah isn't that amazing how Belgium can buy more us treasury (hahaha) bonds greater than they're entire GDP?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:11 | 4716941 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

they've been saving their lunch money; they're very frugal.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:34 | 4717041 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Chocolate, lace & beer sales are all up!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:10 | 4716940 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Please Colonel Klink, it's a creation and extension of the United States Government; and they're the good guys, remember?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:40 | 4717073 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

There are no good guys. There are only our guys and their guys. To paint your own side as good is only a useful propaganda tool. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:46 | 4717099 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

people like you require sarc. tags; sorry I forgot you were around. I think I'll forget you're around again.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:15 | 4716039 Confused
Confused's picture

Well, if it wasn't clear to anyone with a functioning brain before, it should be totally clear now. 


The warring factions want a war. They didn't get it in Syria. So the Ukraine will have to do. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4716128 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

The entire purpose of the West manipulating its Maydan stooges is to draw Russia into actually invading Ukraine.

 The eastern Ukraine is lost no matter what.  So the junta in Kiev have to pick on of the following options:

a) Let the eastern Ukraine leave by means of referendum and do nothing about it.
b) Let the eastern Ukraine leave but only after some violence.
c) Let the eastern Ukraine leave following a Russian military intervention.

Clearly, option 'a' is by far the worst.  Option 'b' is so-so, but option 'c' is very nice.  Think of it:  this option will make it look like Russia invaded the Eastern Ukraine and that the people there had no say about it.  It will also make the rest of the Ukraine rally around the flag.  The economic disaster will be blamed on Russia and the Presidential election of May 25th can be canceled due to the Russian "threat".  Not only that, but a war - no matter how silly - is the *perfect* pretext to introduce martial law which can be used to crack down on the Right Sector or anybody expressing views the junta does not like.  That is an old trick - trigger a war and people will rally around the regime in power.  Create a panic, and people will forget the real issues.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:31 | 4716136 Tabarnaque
Tabarnaque's picture

If you read this article you will understand that Ukraine is a manufactured side show to force Europe into quickly signing the TTIP (Trans-Atlantic Trade Investment Partnership).


Trans-Atlantic global leadership at stake in Ukraine – Kerry


In my opinion, the TTIP (And the TPP) are 2 of the most important issues in today’s world economy. However, this topic is receiving very little coverage.


These 2 “free trade agreements” are negotiated in complete secrecy. Populations of the countries involved in these treaties are absolutely not informed in what consist these trade agreements.


About a year ago, WikiLeaks released insider information about the content of these so called “free trade agreements”. They have nothing to do about free trade. It is all about a US Corporate power grab over the economies of signatory nations.


The TTIP would give excessive powers to Corporations, placing them above national laws and legal systems. For example the Investor-state dispute settlement provisions would enable US companies investing in Europe to challenge EU governments directly at private international tribunals (special courts for corporations), whenever they find that changes in law in the area of public health, consumer, environmental or social protection interfere with their profits. EU companies investing abroad would have the same privilege in the US.


There are other concerning aspects in these trade talks, such as; food safety regulations, data protection to banking regulations, copyrights law and enforcement, amongst others.


But the center piece of the TTIP and TPP is to force the signatory nations into using the US Dollar in their international trade settlement. Signatory nations will be chained into using the US Dollar as their reserve currency for decades to come.


Basically, the TTIP and the TPP would turn Europe and part of Asia into vassal states of the US economic and monetary system. The idea here is that the USA would “capture and retain” these territories under its sphere of influence at the precise moment when the BRICS are emerging and threatening the Anglo-American banks with the construction and implementation of a new monetary/financial/trade system. That’s what this is all about.


Negotiations for the TTIP were getting nowhere since the Snowden revelations and the WikiLeaks that generated a growing public opposition. 6 months ago, the prospect of Europe signing the TTIP was bleak at its best.


So here comes Ukraine. A USA manufactured political/military crisis in Eastern Europe. Washington is using their own manufactured crisis to separate Europe from the BRICS (especially Russia but WDC is doing the same thing in Asia against China with its “Pivot to Asia” program). WDC is truly trying to build a modern iron curtain between the “would be” signatory nations of the TTIP and TPP on one side and the BRICS on the other side.


The Ukrainian crisis has generated the necessary smoke screen for the USA to increase its military presence in Europe and create a climate of fear and distrust against Russia in the general population. My take on that is that Washington will now try to use this new dynamic to quickly force Europe into signing the TTIP. They have to do it now as practically all current European leaders are puppets of the Anglo-American Banking Cartel ( and They also need to do it before the BRICS can get their alternative system up and running (which I would guess should not take much more than 24 months).


The TPP has little hope of ever been signed as Asian nations are smart/nationalistic enough to understand that it would be detrimental to their own interests. However, the corrupt political class in Europe mostly comes from the financial sector and is loyal the banking cartel. They will do what they are told to do. Since the Ukrainian crisis occurred, the odds for the TTIP to be signed have greatly increased.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:37 | 4716163 Confused
Confused's picture

You don't have to convince me. 


I don't even believe Emmanuel Goldstein exists. 


But I do get a kick out of the two-minutes hate. 


*Thanks for the info. Nicely laid out, and much appreciated. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:07 | 4716317 dryam
dryam's picture

So, in a nutshell here's the way I see it: it's the BRICs against the pricks, and the pieces on the chess board are starting to move pretty quickly after a lot of stealth maneuvering over the past 10 years.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:23 | 4716736 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

a lot of stealth maneuvering over the past 10 years...

uh...try: the last 100 years....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:42 | 4717978 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Further back than that.  It goes back to the Great Game of the British Empire, for certain. And the more layers you peel, the further back it goes in history.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:58 | 4716183 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

It also goes by the TISP - Total Israeli skimming process.  Which seems to be what they're best at.  In all fairness I have to add that many jewish people have made great CONTRIBUTIONS to civilization.  Unfortunately those are tainted by the parasites which fester among the good ones.  Parasites, AKA the bankster and Fraud street class.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:08 | 4717035 Mr. Delicious
Mr. Delicious's picture

It all started with the Chosen People myth - which should be understood to be a purported Land for obeying Yahweh contract.

Canaan was of course the single most important trade route on earth - the crossroads of three continents, access the Med/Atlantic and Red Sea/Pacific.

Making money by acting as middleman, or by taxing merchants who wanted to pass through your land...making money from the labor of others a trait the Jewish people as a group, have stereotypically , and not entirely unfairly, retained through the ages.

Also recall that Yahweh was unable to give good and clear title to Canaan, and required some ethnic cleansing and murder.

This has now, of course, happened twice.

Few flinch when it is claimed, largely correctly, that there is a great deal of violence and intolerance in the Koran.

But violence, racism, ethnocentrism and megalomania lay at the very heart of the Pharisaism we now simply call Judaism.

If you don't believe me, or if you are about to shout Hitler Hitler Nazi Antisemite at me - how about you spend 10 minutes google searching hate and violence in the torah or talmud, or for that matter the old testament.

There's simply no question that Jewish religious tests contain a great deal of racism, supremacism and hate. Chabad Lubavitch is clearly a Jewish Supremacist organization, its former leader sad absolutely racist, hateful things, but yet was honored by Congress and Israel.  David Duke is literally no "worse" a racist or supremacist, and probably a smarter guy than a certain dead rebbe - but no honors for him... he isn't immune from criticism  {nor should he be}.

Rabbis in government positions in Israel regularly say racist, supremacist things - one can only imagine what isn't printed given the censorship surrounding Jews and Israel.

In a sense, there has been a Jewish War on Russia for over 100 years.... this isn't all of the story, at all, but it is a big part and explains why the same Jewish neocons who lead us into war, lied us into war on Iraq - fo Israel - have been cheerleading for war with Syria and Iran as well as Russia. They know Jews largely run the US. They want to help Israel itself become a Global Superpower.

It may happen - but only briefly. Israel may kill tens of millions before the end, but Israel can not last.

 The wise move would be for the US and Russia to get control of Israel's nukes - and to sink their subs.... but this world is allergic to wisdom.  And both Russia and the US have a ruling class that is very disproportionately Jewish.

International Jewry is a global superpower, and you can't really analyze world events without considering it - notwithstanding the fact there will always be some fucktard claiming facts are "anti-Semitic."

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:15 | 4717898 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

Canaan was of course the single most important trade route on earth - the crossroads of three continents, access the Med/Atlantic and Red Sea/Pacific.

Making money by acting as middleman, or by taxing merchants who wanted to pass through your land...making money from the labor of others a trait the Jewish people as a group, have stereotypically , and not entirely unfairly, retained through the ages.

Wow, you really have no idea what you're talking about. First of all, the big-time trading in Canaan was done through the valleys and the coastal plain which was monopolized for a long time by Canaanites e.g. Sidonians, Tyrrhians, Byblus etc. The Hebrew settlers arriving from the eastern bank of the Jordan in the aftermath of the bronze age collapse were pastoral nomads who lived in tents and subsisted on animal husbandry. When they crossed Jordan, into Canaan proper, they first thoroughly settled the hill country all the while taking on sedentism (and organized warfare) and were only able to gain a foothold in the valleys and coastal plains after some number of years. The Canaanite inhabitants there were too sophisticated technologically to be easily conquered. The Israelites therefore strictly remained for many years a hill country people with a hill country economy. Not international financiers. Only after the kingdoms of Judah and Israel arose and became strong enough to expand do we find references to cosmopolitan living. And even then it's arguable to what extent the urban lifestyle as well as engagement in trade was enjoyed by the tribes. The Canaanites still retained a prominent position as traders (see Jonah), especially in the Lebanon. This backdrop is the basis of the books of Joshua and Judges and generally speaking is agreed upon by archaeologists (of course details vary depending on who you ask). But I digress.

The tax collecting Jew is a creature of Europe in the middle ages. That's because the church (and crown by extension) prohibited Jews from owning land restricted them to living off of usury.

Get your facts straight.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:57 | 4716617 kurt
kurt's picture

How can they completely disreguard the effect this shit agreement has on its victims? They have entered the "Overlord" class. The balls this takes! We need to make some geldings.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:15 | 4716958 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Well, isn't that special. Shit, another thing I don't know a damn thing about. Sounds about right, tho. Now I have to go look that up.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:41 | 4716179 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Or, Russia can continue to do what it's been doing.  Sending in plain-clothes troops to act as "local militia" to sieze local government buildings.  They have plausible deniability this way.  No, "boots on the ground" so to speak.  Russia risks a media shit storm if they follow the old Nazi excuse of protecting fellow countrymen as an excuse for invasion though.  They very well may risk it however because the West is politcaly weak these days.  Whats the worst that will happen if they invade the Ukraine?  Obama will send  very strongly worded letter to the Kremlin?  Will he unfriend Vlad on Facebook?  Or maybe, just maybe....Obama might craft a particularly pithy tweet.  I swear, our leadership in the US is comparible to middle school student council. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:52 | 4716244 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

At least the student council used to host some sweet dances.  By comparison, what has the US leadership accomplished?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 12:55 | 4716606 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

$10 says Russia does absolutely nothing until at least May 25. They have to see how separatist and national elections shake out in Ukraine. Too much confusion/uncertainty on the ground right now.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:33 | 4716141 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This is just about the end of a very long sweeping parry by Russia from the northern border of Afghanistan in a wide smiling arc that will soon fizzle up to Finland.  Putin studies Chuck Norris, especially his roundhouse kick to the Baltic.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:46 | 4716147 813kml
813kml's picture

Syria isn't completely lost, the US is blowing on the flames again via Turkey.  Turkey is a NATO wildcard, the are ripe for an unintended revolution themselves and historically have tried to avoid pissing off Russia since they would have to live next to an angry bear.

I anticipate that many of the allies the US bought with worthless dollars and empty promises will turn out to be not so reliable.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:48 | 4716227 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I find myself hoping every day for a direct Russian intervention in Syria to wipe out and eject the CIA and Al-Qaeda once and for all.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:22 | 4716987 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

The history of a couple of the shooting wars Turks have had with the Russians is interesting. 150,000 dead in a week, in a small area. and then they charged again, over the dead bodies. Not much trust and good feelings there I'm afraid.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:24 | 4716999 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Turkey is a wildcard alright; the idea of them being a member of NATO is completely nuts. They're raring to go, foaming at the mouth. So nice to be shackled to a mad man when he's hunting for trouble.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:37 | 4717061 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

How many angry dogs does it take to overwhelm an angry bear?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 15:02 | 4717145 813kml
813kml's picture

Not enough, as the US will find out shortly.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:12 | 4716691 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

The warring factions want a war. They didn't get it in Syria.

Wtf are you talking about? Over 100 thousand dead since 2010.

Stop smoking that Marxist pipe. Control over means of production and banking cabals aren't the only catalysts of war. Religion and national pride (and women; see Helen) fuel conflict quite nicely too.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:22 | 4716730 dizzyfingers
dizzyfingers's picture

Your green triangle isn't working. S'up with that?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 14:04 | 4716911 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

The NSA has decreed that all posts starting with italics will be disallowed from receiving upvotes.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:15 | 4716041 wmbz
wmbz's picture

Funded in very large part by the sucker U.S. taxpayer.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 11:26 | 4716117 john39
john39's picture

aka serfs.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:22 | 4716728 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

Think of it as an investment. US industries will now gain new customers for the goods they manufacture and for the services they provide. Ukrainian cable companies will buy the rights to broadcast content like dancing with the plebs from US networks and GM will have a new market for its Volts. US economic activity picks up, more jobs are created and consumption will continue to grow.


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