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Presenting The White House Decision-Making Machine

Tyler Durden's picture


Rube Goldberg, eat your heart out...





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Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:06 | 4717686 Slave
Slave's picture

I don't see buttsex on there...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:17 | 4717727 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Someone needs to close the yellow valve!!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:25 | 4717750 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

That money valve is now fully protected from closure by the Supreme Courts definition of "Freedom of Speech"

So STFU you terrorist.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:32 | 4717770 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Which way does this shit flow?  Politics->Money or Politics<-Money?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:32 | 4717774 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Of course you don't see buttsex -- no one expects the buttsex.  (Look for the label "IRS".)

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:44 | 4717800 0b1knob
Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:51 | 4718916 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Niether. The term money is misapplied. Should be Fiat currency.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:57 | 4717838 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Does the downstream politics line dump into the vaginal reservoir????????

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:21 | 4717745 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

He leads from behind

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4717764 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

buttsex was playing golf at the time; but he'll be back in time to get the days orders on his teleprompter.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 22:09 | 4718581 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Where are the multiple taps where cash is siphoned off?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:09 | 4717692 unrulian
unrulian's picture

where's the nine iron?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:11 | 4717698 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

It's also missing the gigantic bullshit injector. Obama politics is made up of equal parts money and bullshit.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4717712 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

..... call it what it is, not bullshit but pathological lies, more lies and damn lies... but what else would you expect from such a corrupt, arrogant, narcissitic illegal alien indonesian kenyan muslim sociopathic fudge packer in chief...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:25 | 4717724 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Thats what comes out the "politics" end of the machine.  Bullshit!!  Money in, Bullshit out! It's the best bullshit money can buy!!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:28 | 4717768 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

No, no. The Decision is made by the machine out of politics and payoffs; Obama himself can supply all the Bullshit necessary to the final press release.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:12 | 4717699 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

you wanted him. you got him. and you got him for nearly another 3 years. and he's stupid as shit. and so are you if you voted for him.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4717713 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I've been telling people to stop voting for decades, they never listen.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:32 | 4717776 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Wrong answer; incredibly stupid reply. The purpose of voting is to get the other candidate and try him out; and yes it does make a difference. Was there a difference between JFK and Nixon?  It's just an excuse for lazy irresponsibility, and IT DOESN'T WASH.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:37 | 4717786 Confused
Confused's picture

Its funny. Right? Because everyone seems to agree that politicians are scum, and they lie, cheat and steal. However, when it comes to voting, some still think it would make a difference between the two parties 'chosen' representatives. They are chosen for a reason. 


And not voting is a form of saying, fuck you, I do not agree with the system as it exists and will not participate. 


If anything, he may have more right to complain than the guy saying, "its your fault, you voted for him." As if voting for the 'other' guy would have made things somehow better. 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:18 | 4717908 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

In the national polls, voters give their House & Senate reps only single-digit approval ratings, yet when election day rolls around, voters reelect the incumbents more than 90% of the time. I don't get it.

"If voting made any difference, it would be illegal."    Dorothy Parker

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:59 | 4718924 james.connolly
james.connolly's picture

I agree, if they had a "None of the above" I would vote, ... but I never vote for this reason, ... that there is nobody that I want.

It's really disgusting here how people are saying that if the MORMON had won that things would be different, bull fucking SHIT the MORMON's are NSA/CIA, and that why the new NSA OP is in Utah. CIA since the 1950's has preferred MORMON MISSIONARY boy's for cover, on their little bicycyles, today the CIA/NSA is full to the brim with MORMON's, had ROMNEY won, then there would never had been SNOWDEN.


Elections in the USA don't mean shit, and never have, everything is QUID-PRO-QUO, and always has been.

Look when GORE won, what happened? You Got BUSH, enough said.

Anybody that even thinks for running for public office, should be tarred and feathered and sent to exile in Siberia, where other like minded lawyers can fuck each other to death from HIV.

Anarchism RULES, and anybody that VOTES is part of the problem.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:38 | 4717790 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

JFK got a lot more pussy than Nixon did.

Nixon was right about China.

Red/Blue screw us equally.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:01 | 4717852 logicalman
logicalman's picture

1. Voting is a one bit system - can't convey much information with a single bit.

2. If you vote you are complicit in the crimes of government.

3. If voting changed anything, it would be illegal.

4. It matters not who casts the vote. What matters is who counts them (paraphrasing Joe Stalin)

Can anyone come up with a good reason to vote, and back up their argument?


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:14 | 4717715 pods
pods's picture

And yet another one who had me at voted.


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:56 | 4718017 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Don't blame me - I didn't vote for anyone.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 20:06 | 4718240 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Yep - not registered to vote either since I am not interested in jury duty.  But registration does not matter - anyone can vote if they just show up at the poll.  Even dead people.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:31 | 4717772 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

I tried to get people to vote for Romney and they all screeched at me that it didn't make any difference. Well, does it make a difference suckers? huh, did it. Yeah, it did. Romney promised to cancell Obamacare and he's so clean and so normal the media couldn't find a damn thing on him; but nooo; you know everything; it doesn't make any difference who gets elected, so you don't have to get up off your lazy ass and do anything. Well here you go bunky.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:01 | 4717856 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Your definition of 'clean and normal' differs radically from mine.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:12 | 4717886 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Romney has no Negro dialect unless he wants to have one.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 01:04 | 4718934 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Romney was a fucking Mormon, and he practically invented obamacare in Massachusetts. As far as his promise to overturn obamacare-- bullshit. He might have fiddled with it a little around the edges, maybe. He's a fucking lying sack of shit just like every other politician.

With Obama, at least you know exactly where you stand-- he's a Muslim communist out to destroy America, and he really doesn't bother to hide that fact. Romney was just a worthless tool who couldn't even mount an effective campaign against the worst president in US history. Fuck him.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:02 | 4718032 intric8
intric8's picture

Romney would have been more tolerable than obozo up to this point, im quite sure

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:19 | 4718104 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Of course he would; but these self-anointed experts can never admit their complicity; if you don't vote you don't get to complain. and you're a shameful excuse for a citizen.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 07:30 | 4719225 grekko
grekko's picture

The lesser of two evils is still evil. I quit playing their game. I now just invest my time in gold, silver and lead.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4717704 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Is that what a cesspool machine looks like, PU U stink.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:12 | 4717706 stant
stant's picture

Well I do see the siphon valve it's just not labeled

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:14 | 4717710 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Cocaine and amyl nitrate to clean the pipes.


First closeted homosexual President.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:15 | 4717719 negative rates
negative rates's picture

You know that shit wears out the inside lining of your colen, we call him Mr. red line the pipe cleaner.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:21 | 4717748 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

How do you know he's the first? -1

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:32 | 4717775 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

James Buchanan was a flamer.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:39 | 4717793 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

So was Lincoln.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 01:08 | 4718938 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Well, Lincoln was bisexual. Buchanan was definitely a homo.

Isn't it funny that we've had homosexual presidents during the two biggest domestic crises in US history?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:49 | 4717819 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Closeted?  Everybody knows....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4717711 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Shit goes in...guess what comes out.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:20 | 4717722 Slave
Slave's picture

Cum injected shit?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:17 | 4717723 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Mr. red line the pipe cleaner?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:21 | 4717744 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Polished turds

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:17 | 4717726 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

There must be a valve in there somewhere where millions are siphoned off to finance Michelle's vacations and custom made dresses to cover her transsexual man-frame

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:18 | 4717732 atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

Your political orientation can be determined by your perceived flow direction, or directions, along that fluid path.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:19 | 4717737 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

forgot the laser like focus...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:23 | 4717753 headhunt
headhunt's picture

Is this a Rorschach test? Because I see the entryway to hell.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:23 | 4717754 venturen
venturen's picture

where is the wookie?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:54 | 4717829 Jethro
Jethro's picture

The Wookie is there, but you can't see it because it's the "pig" cleaning the pipes.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 20:02 | 4718232 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

I thought that was some guy named Reggie

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:23 | 4717755 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

And how is this different from any previous administration>

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:24 | 4717759 Slave
Slave's picture

Just bigger numbers.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:27 | 4717767 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Quantitatively different...Qualitatively the same...SSDD...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:36 | 4717784 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

As we know now; it's a carry on from the Bush Dynasty; but that is a new phenomenon. Do your homework; other possibilities exist; for instance the romney administration that you refused to get off your lazy ass and vote for.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4717761 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

This is a fittingbound clusterfuck; IBD has a genius drawing this up.  When this puppy gets the least bit warm, all of the parts will grow at different rates and all of dem flanges will bend and spring leaks.  Is the money flowing from right to left?  I bet the money is flowing from the right into the direction away from the plane of the picture.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4717762 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

I guess when Obama said " ignore the tyranny calls " what he meant was " put it in me and tear me "

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4717763 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Great pipeline. Maybe they can supply the Ukranians with ample quantities of methane.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:33 | 4717777 blindman
blindman's picture

it appears the white house has been programmed
to destroy itself? the international banks, and
others, must want it that way. if i could stop
the insanity i would but it appears to be
way over my head.
maybe they know what they are doing, destroying
any integrity they could have for less than nothing?
end the fed.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:32 | 4717778 MedicalQuack
MedicalQuack's picture

Well I am probably in trouble with these tweets...their big privacy report today...they learned well from Wall Street and insurers, keep it "very" complex:)

MedicalQuack Saddest thing about the @WhiteHouse #privacy report=no addressing the #data selling epidemic in US "The Grays"
Thu, May 01 14:09:18 

MedicalQuack Still need to license ALL data sellers, #privacy efforts useless w/o an index on who they are @WhiteHouse missed it

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:35 | 4717783 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Not to be too cynical but aren't you being just a tad generous with that "visual"?...

I would have expected a uni-directional line of Obama's snount shoved up the unwiped asshole of someone like Zbignew --->George Soros---->David Rockefeller----->Jacob Rothschild (.)

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:38 | 4717792 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Zbig is his daddy; aside from doing odd jobs for hire; for GE, Exxon, and so forth. I'm thinking we should float a story to the crazy Muslims that he betrayed them in Egypt; see if they follow through. They do tend to get the job done when they make up their "minds".

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:57 | 4717840 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Delighted that you mentiond "Egypt" and that De-nial runs through it...

I posted this earlier today and believe me just watch when Al-Sisi's secret police set up these mass executions wagging their finger in the publics face not to even think about riots like 2011.

Bet Israel can't wait for the fallout of this when they decide to "throw that switch"? They certainly got enough on there plate not to lose Egypt while they continue to attempt to make inroads on a war with Syria and Iran!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:38 | 4717789 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Rube Goldberg is a cartoonist who passed in 1970. Wish he put this in cartoon form.


Spiritual Fascism

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 17:38 | 4717794 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Since raciss speech banning is all the rage I am going to start a petition to have the word cracker banned. I find it racist and prefer to be called a saltine american.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:32 | 4718148 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

How about Triscuitier?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:03 | 4717859 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Will this make things harder for the average American? If the answer is yes then Obama is all for it. If the answer is no then it's back to the drawing board. That's how these communist's and a redistributionist's work. On top of it all he's a political hack and we have three more years of his bullshit lies to deal with in an imploding economy that's now clearly because of his policies. Obamacare, NSA, IRS, Benghazi, Fast and Furious, Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, China now with a larger economy than the US (something we have enjoyed since 1872)... Scandal upon scandal. His presidency is a complete failure unless the goal is to destroy the US economy. Thanks a lot you stupid people who voted for this divisive ignorant failure.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:24 | 4718125 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

And thanks to the lazy excuse makers who didn't bother to vote too; for contributing to the muppets victory.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:05 | 4717863 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


     I used to have one of them but I divorced her!


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 20:03 | 4718233 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Surplus from British Petroleum?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 21:32 | 4718468 deepsouthdoug
deepsouthdoug's picture

and the GW Bush machine, the Clinton machine, the Bush 1 machine, the Reagan machine..........

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 23:42 | 4718819 2bit Hoarder
2bit Hoarder's picture

certainly true that no President since Old Hickory did anything about the debt, even our progressive "friends" have to admit that Obama is in a class of his own when it comes to debt creation.  If he does not double the total debt of all presidents before him combined, i'll be quite surprised.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:16 | 4718870 All is chosen
All is chosen's picture

Reminds me of the plumbing under the kitchen sink of the old house we bought in 1971. Someone added a washing machine & dishwasher; then Nixon closed the gold window. 

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 07:55 | 4719277 TalkToLind
TalkToLind's picture

It's for the children, err...I mean the veterans,'s for world peace!

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