Thursday Humor: Over 100 Sick After Food Safety Summit

Tyler Durden's picture


File under "Government Health Care"...

Health officials are investigating what may have sickened over 100 people who attended a conference where more than 1,300 food safety experts had gathered.


No one at the Food Safety Summit held April 8-10 in Baltimore was hospitalized, according to health officials, and most people reported cases of diarrhea.


Alvina K. Chu, who is leading the Maryland Department of Health's investigation, said Tuesday that officials haven't yet determined what caused people to get sick. It's not yet clear if the illness was transmitted by food or from person to person, she said.


The Baltimore City Health Department received complaints of nausea and diarrhea from four people one week after the conference. After the illnesses were reported, city health officials inspected the convention center after and its in-house catering company, Centerplate, on April 16, and issued a violation for condensation dripping from an ice machine, according to city health department spokesman Michael Swartzberg.


City health officials found no violations during the most recent regularly scheduled inspection of the convention center on Feb. 27.


The state health department sent a survey to summit attendees on April 17. About 400 responded, with more than 100 people reporting symptoms. Health officials said there have been no reported hospitalizations or deaths.


Rita Foumia, corporate strategy director for BNP Media, which hosts the summit, said nothing like this has happened in the summit's 16-year history.

Source: AP

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Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:31 | 4717938 RacerX
RacerX's picture

I love the spin: "Well, no one at the Summit was hospitalized.. just cases of nausea and diarrhea"..

Well golly, sign me up then!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:40 | 4717965 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

I know of 6 people who have had Cymothoa exigua with thier fish in NYC during the past week.  

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:43 | 4717981 Looney
Looney's picture

Awww… the beauty of schadenfreude – the more schaden (harm) the more freude (joy). ;-)


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:45 | 4717991 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Glitchy ;-)

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:49 | 4717998 Looney
Looney's picture

Our Ministry of Truth should start blaming this on Chinese or Russian hackers. ;-)


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:55 | 4718013 knukles
knukles's picture

Your tax dollars at work
And I'll betcha not a single case of medical bills were covered by ObieCAre that all the gubamint workers wuz for but none would give up their Cadillac taxpayer funded plans for...

Why do things like if they died it would be cheaper in the long run because then we're all dead, anyhow, come to mind? 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 21:07 | 4718405 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

File this article under "richly deserved comeuppance" or "instant karma".


Fri, 05/02/2014 - 01:04 | 4718931 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Nope. Flat out incompetence.

Karma involves making a descision...any descision, and some form of action.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 22:05 | 4718562 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

I don't see any mention of tax dollars except the misleading title.

But please proceed to display your ignorance.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 20:39 | 4718329 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Damn! so that's where I left my vial of lyphilyzed Salmonella typhi! Sorry guys, I was going for the NSA conference next door.


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:49 | 4718000 FilthyHabits
FilthyHabits's picture

Condensation from an ice machine... Wtf?

More like the stoner in the back taking a duke in your BBQ sauce .

Full retard...

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 01:00 | 4718926 4 Freedoms
4 Freedoms's picture

What?  No syrup of Epicac in the cocktails?  Now, we're talkin.....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:32 | 4717946 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Stay away from the mushroom stroganoff!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:35 | 4717953 RacerX
RacerX's picture

it was the Salmon Mousse!

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:42 | 4717976 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"It's like diarrhea at a food safety summit..." —unused Alanis Morissette lyric

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 20:42 | 4718334 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

It would have been the only example of real irony in her whole song

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 23:20 | 4718773 Bloody Muppet
Bloody Muppet's picture

Yet it was a whole song about irony that didn't contain any ironic lyrics. 

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:14 | 4718872 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

The Escolar was a tad undercooked and way too oily ... rumor has it.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 01:04 | 4718932 Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

But that's what was ironic about it...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:49 | 4718001 spinone
spinone's picture

I got home from work and had a stroganoff.  Then I had some dinner!

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:26 | 4718887 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Magic mushroom stroganoff.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 02:08 | 4718988 Rock On Roger
Rock On Roger's picture

I can taste them now

Gives me the heeby jeebies

Then my cheeks hurt

And I giggle

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:33 | 4717948 Seek_Truth
Seek_Truth's picture

He was the guerilla terrorist for the food service industry. Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:36 | 4717954 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Pink slime re-enters the USDA food market.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:39 | 4717961 Nasquak
Nasquak's picture

That's a lot of people with the hershey squirts. Did they serve them white castle?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:41 | 4717970 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

mechanically separated chicken tartare

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 07:28 | 4719222 PT
PT's picture

Let me have a turn :

Caterers were the cheapest quote? 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:41 | 4717971 mikmid
mikmid's picture

Absolutely perfect.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:44 | 4717983 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


    ...must have been those leftovers from DC....that would turn anybody's stomach!



Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:44 | 4717984 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  They clearly didn't hire enough Belgian caterers...

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:48 | 4717996 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Gubbermint Affirmative Action in play... it can kill ya.... stay away

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:52 | 4718005 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

Apparently, ass to ass can spread diarrhea person to person. It's the only legitimate explanation of what went on here.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:56 | 4718014 davidalan1
davidalan1's picture

reminicent of Global warming with record LOW temps..



Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:54 | 4718211 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

What record low temps?
NASA Finds 2011 Ninth-Warmest Year on Record
2010 and 2005 tied for warmest years EVER on record

"the next warmest years are 1998, 2002, 2003, 2006, 2007 and 2009, which are statistically tied for third warmest year. The GISS records begin in 1880."

Those look like record highs.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 21:27 | 4718454 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

How could record highs do this?

Oh, I know, just like Homer Simpson, when I make ice cubes, I put them in my oven too.....

And then there is this:

Some parts of the Great Lakes have 3 feet of ice on them yet.

And there is little data point:

Of course, the midwest only counts only briefly during election years.....Sort of...... Does not really matter that many cold and snow fall records that go back well over 100 years were shattered this winter at all, does it?


Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:01 | 4718849 ForTheWorld
ForTheWorld's picture

I've said this before - there are more locations in the world with temperature variances than North America. For example, Australia:

The last four months of 2013 (and continuing into this year) were all well above average temperatures. September 2013 was our hottest ever, and October, November and December were well above average. I'm not saying that things aren't getting colder in areas of North America, but it IS getting hotter elsewhere on the planet, and I'm experiencing this personally, and have seen the effects via small scale farming.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 02:34 | 4718997 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

Antarctica is not North America last time I checked.

That was my first link.

That was also where the science ship that was studying the shrinking arctic ice became stuck in the ice that supposed to be vanishing.

Then again, if one were to study the climate of Australia during the last ice age here:

It would appear that looking at that map, the main part of Australia was a dessert or scrub country, while the upper Midwest US and Canada were under a mile or two of ice.

Much like according to archaeological evidence, the Atacama Desert in Chile was a nice place at one time, and so was the Sahara Desert.

All it takes is a degree or two of wobble on the Earth's axis, the sun to increase or decrease its output, and all sorts of chaos will ensue, with or without us lifting a finger.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 01:06 | 4742465 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

It would appear your argument for "no global warming" is "don't look at the globe, just America". You'll try to get it narrowed to North America, then only the USA, then only New York or Michigan, and so on.

You're an idiot as most Murrikinz are.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:56 | 4737127 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

winter in the North Hemisphere is SUMMER in the SOUTH hemisphere. That's what GLOBAL climate means, you can't try to pretend it isn't really warming by saying OH NO, IT'S COLD IN WINTER!

It's not in the SOUTH when we have winter in the north, numb-nuts.

Polar ice is melting at a record pace and photos PROVE it.

You can try to pretend it's growing but it isn't. It's melting, disappearing, and soon will be gone. Google image search it to check TONS of sources.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 18:55 | 4718015 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Pink Slime - aka US CONgress.....

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:09 | 4718058 B2u
B2u's picture

Soylent Green?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:12 | 4718071 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Escolar has been known to cause oily anal leakage.  I wonder if "tuna" was on the menu?

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:44 | 4718175 valley chick
valley chick's picture

+100  You beat me to it!  I still talk about that ZH article to this day. :-) 

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 22:18 | 4718367 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

A few years back there was a very large conference for Infectious Disease Drs and they served ceviche. Gave many people Anisakis. People are not a natural host for this worm so it tried to bury itself into their esophaguses but got stuck leaving its tail whipping around. So dozens of Drs and their wives were in the ER trying to get them removed.

The food handler when queried admitted when he made it he saw worms at the bottom of the bowl but figured they had all fallen out. I guess the food handler test didn't cover what to do when worms are seen in the food. The country where this man had come from would have considered them bonus protein.


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 23:46 | 4718828 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

And therein lies one of the many problems with having a rule or reg for everything.  Eventually, a new situation pops up that none of the rules and regs cover, and people don't know how to react.

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 00:16 | 4718876 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

You'd think these things should be inherently obvious but in our dumbed down world I guess things must be spelled out. Like the " wearing this does not enable a person to fly" tag on a Superman suit.

When I was working Blood Bank, my supervisor was proud he came up with every possible scenario that could go wrong in that department and compiled it in 10 huge manuals. It took 3 people on his shift to work one massive transfusion trauma. He knew I could do it by myself on graveyards. One day he asked me how I could possibly do such a volume of work. I just stared at him. " I don't think I want to know the answer." He finally said.


Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:13 | 4718074 Magnum
Magnum's picture

The govt food police created so many rules, that ironically only large industrial sleazy interests can satisfy the requirements.  This leads to very large scale illness when contamination occurs.  Not to mention mass-produced food never tastes very good.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:14 | 4718077 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Now that's funny.

Thu, 05/01/2014 - 19:15 | 4718084 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Lowest bid caterer + skim = prayer at porcelain alter

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