"Eastern European" Buyer Scoops Up World's First Quarter-Billion-Dollar Apartment

Tyler Durden's picture

The world's most expensive apartment sale has been 'consumated'... in London (of course). As The Evening Standard reports, an Eastern European buyer (has anyone seen Yanukoych recently?) is believed to have paid £140 million (~$235 million) for the 16,000  square feet apartment — more than 10 times the size of a typical London three-bedroom home — at the One Hyde Park scheme near Harrods. This values the apartment at a 'mind-blowingly-desperate-to-launder-my-money-and-get-my-assets-away-from-potential-bank-freezes' $17,000 per square foot.


Ironically the price is a deal against the $295 million valuation that had been place on the apartment by appraisers.

Quiet City living...


Candelabra looks like Superman's home (hhmm, perhaps)


Kitchen looks a little narrow to us... (and no Sodastream)




No beanbags?


Well, yeah that's great but $200million?!


Well - we guess it's worth it if you like that kind of thing - at least it is a "hard asset."

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Grande Tetons's picture

What! No picture of the shitter? 

Say What Again's picture

Where is the room for the Bunga-Bunga parties?

Oh... I almost forgot...  where is the "dungeon room" because these guys are into some kinky shit!!!


Also, that explains why the market is selling off so much.  They need to raise cash to buy the place.

Troll Magnet's picture

That property tax bill is gonna hurt.

zaphod's picture

This is peak something, I'm just not sure what. So many issues.

Pladizow's picture

Who was the seller and what will they do with $235mil?

And did each Realtor get $7mil?

Manthong's picture

Yeah, but does it have high pressure air in the bathroom like in my house?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Nothing says "opulent comfort" like the cool clean lines of an office waiting room.

Manthong's picture

The heating system might need an upgrade. That two level  open fire pit is kind of Neolithic.

sushi's picture

Paid for by the skim off the 17 billion IMF loan.

Its why peasants are required.

To support the overlords in the style to which they want to become accustomed.

Next the overlords will be demanding velvet lined guillotines with padded buckets to collect their  heads.

For a small fee I'm sure they can be accomodated

wallstreetaposteriori's picture

So this is where Putin is hiding his billions...

Rock Sniffer's picture

Property tax?  In London?  Doesn't exist; that's why it's the world centre for money-laundering through property.

Wonder if those windows could withstand .50 BMG...

GamesMaster's picture

Ukrainians don't hang about.....IMF loans $17billion, they go shopping in London.

CheapBastard's picture

They got tired of that IMF "loan" money just sit'n there in Swiss Bank Vaults do'n not'n .... so why not buy a nice place in London, eh?

Enjoy life a bit until things simmer down back home.

Mr Pink's picture

I need some of those chrome pillars for my pad.  Think they have them at Menards ?

Manthong's picture

I think the ones that are over 14' are special order.

Stanley Kubrick's picture

Speaking of using the shitter...

"Remember, the National Assoc. of Realtors reminds you to always use your local REALTOR"

"And there's never been a better time to buy or sell your HOME"


Mercury's picture

The Restoration Hardware metal-and-brown palette  is the avocado and gold for today’s aspirational  global nihilist.

People say to me: “Yuri, aluminum wall paper and fudge orbs?”

“But of course…why not the best?”

Monty Burns's picture

Czechs tell the story about two Russian oligarchs


'How much did you pay for that watch?'




'What, are you serious?? I know where you could have got the same one for €75,000'

NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

US$ 235 MM laundered, cleaned & pressed!

Amish Hacker's picture

Yup, and probably Permanent Resident status thrown in as well.

Flux's picture

Yeah, but does it have underground parking?

yrbmegr's picture

Laundering money by investing it at a loss.  That's novel.

Xibalba's picture

Keeping half is still 50% more than what's coming.  On a side note,  I've recieved 4 phone calls and 3 solicitations in the mail from CHASE bank to give them my money.  They are offering $200 to open an account with any balance, and another $200 if I donate 15k.  So, $400 for a $15,001 deposit/donation.  Bail-ins imminent? 

Notsobadwlad's picture

Personally, I see no difference between buying that apartment and just burning the money.

Oh, and the galley kitchen blows and the 60s retro furnature is hideous. Must be a Russian or similar buyer.

mjcOH1's picture

90s leather furniture and 'life' in a city of 8 million people  .... 295million dollars.

Getting out of Russia before you get tossed in a 6x9' footer with Mikhail  Khodorkovsky for declining the 100% savings transfer/gratuity.... priceless.

Cacete de Ouro's picture

Well, at least it's near the Tube station and the Piccadilly Line if they want to go to Heathrow Airport. That convenience factor must be worth eh.,...maybe £500..

katchum's picture

With a mansion tax of $2 million?

A_Nejad's picture

$100 on a Russian Jew...taking the bets now.

Zirpedge's picture

Think of the convenience walking to Harrods and buying a pet giraffe or baby white tiger? 

The "shitter" is gold plated (becasue gold has no real industrial application) and the biday speaks seven languages. 

thamnosma's picture

Would they sell a few square feet to me?

Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Let's give every billionaire a fancy title like Lord or Duke.

Only then can they be properly worshiped by the masses.

I am the Count of Monte Crisco!

Love me!

jmcadg's picture

Whoever said UK house prices are in a bubble has got to get their head seen to.

Cacete de Ouro's picture

There's an army barracks accommodation tower block up the road from One Hyde Park that has a much better view. It's in the background to the center in the top photo. Those army guys could make a quick killing if they sold off their bedrooms to some non-resident buyers, as long as the non-doms never show up for a shopping trip in London.

jmcadg's picture

Fuckin' galley kitchen! Where's the Arga?

Cacete de Ouro's picture

Looks like a 2 ring cooking hob... Obviously the buyer eats from cans and has microwave dinners - no class

Ratscam's picture

perfect layout, ask any professional cook.
In an efficient kitchen you want to keep walk distance as close as possible.
Ok, the dish washing sector needs some improvement.

Yttrium Gold Nitrogen's picture

I wonder if a semiconductor fab is cheaper per square foot than this apartment?

Diet Coke and Floozies's picture

Only if the semiconductor factory is in China

Yttrium Gold Nitrogen's picture

At $17000 per square foot and gold at $1300 per ounce, one could cover the floor with a 0.227 mm (0.009 in) golden foil.

q99x2's picture

Arrest the owner and redistribute its stolen wealth. People will not survive another 10 years if they don't stop living like animals.

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

For $235M I would hope that I liked the kitchen more than the one that I have now.

Ribeye's picture

iirc, that place is next door to one of the best hotels in London, and residents can use the hotel facilities, including room service, 

pretty sweet eh, especially when ye wake up hungover and ye have three hungry high class hookers to feed, 

1stepcloser's picture

Agenda 250,000,000  

Calls and Putz's picture

"Kitchen looks a little narrow to us... (and no Sodastream)"

It's designed for servants only.  

mkhs's picture

It looks like a standard European kitchen.  I mean, who cooks at home? 

By the way, is "putz" yiddish?

Racer's picture

Why do they have such dreadful furniture in these expensive places?