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The Cruelest Month: April Was A Bloodbath For Most Hedge Funds
April was supposed to be, if only based on history, the strongest month for stocks. Instead, it ended up being a hedge fund bloodbath. Of the 40 or so brand name hedge funds we track, only 3 outperformed the S&P, and 33, or over 75%, generated a negative return. Which is to be expected in a month in which the highest beta stock blew up, and an entire industry which now clearly uses alpha and beta interchangeably (as long as it means following the leader right into the comfortable confines of the hedge fund hotel), is stuck with the bill.
Ironically, when we previewed the April performance we said that "while one should prepare to hear a litany of how April is historically the best month for stocks ahead of the just as infamous "Sell in May and go away" which has not been the case for the past 4 years, the reality is that this historic patterns such as this, or any others, have zero bearing on the current experiment in "confidence boosting" central planning. In other words, the only thing that continues to "matter" for risk, is what the Chairwoman may have had for dinner." The vast majority of hedge funds just found out the hard way what this means.
Here are the best and worst performers for the month:
And the full breakdown courtesy of HSBC's hedge fund performance tracker:
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ah say, it's a buy, alpha baby up and die [/singing]
Yeah. Sometimes I pick red and it comes up black. ~50% chance aint bad though.
You can't say black or red anymore. You mean sometimes you pick Native American and it comes up African American. Fixed it for ya.
But I'm not racist! I voted for Obama 5 times! I swear!
You can't say Obama. It sounds too racist. You can say I voted for the current american president, may he live forever.
If they buy some shares of RGR or SWHC they might do better in May. Gun sales still strong.
This day an important thing happend, Super blood in the form the new Star trek become real and no one is covering it.
http://www.theguardian.com/science/video/2014/may/04/young-mice-blood-ag...
Yes, but here is the thing if you sow and old rat and a young rat togather (horrific indeed) you get two young rats.
So you tell me do Vampires exist or are they just stories. If you steal childrens blood for your own use is that not evil?
yes you heathen... it was and still is.
it was confirmed, is all. Now i know if you freeze your younger self's blood you can use it later in life to extend your life. not by much but how much is 5-10 years worth to you.
Why didnt they just buy the dips in the ES? You took no heat for five years running. The problem is they try to get fancy and pick stocks. Well if you liked twitter at 70 you must LOVE it at 38... place your bets.
Fortress Investment Group? FUCK YOU. Way to lose money in a rigged market. FIG can't even commit crime well. Suckers own this.
Hedge funds that uses tax sales/liens? Doom to you fucks.
You mean they weren't chasing alpha?! Lol.
Well, what are they buying then? Got hit with all the momos? Poor babies.
I say this with all the virtue of an accidental winner. Just happens that I had to reallocate some modest investments in April. I was just following safety-first and looking for dividends, like all the paranoids these days - and purely by chance the market bumped up after my investments and I came out a percent or two to the good (ok on one my timing was a little off ...). Since a couple percent a month isn't bad, plus a few percent dividends per year, I'm feeling like a genius right now. But it's not like it was hard. I could have picked five or ten other groups of stocks that would have done substantially the same.
So the hedge funds are obviously looking for a lot more excitement, and not finding it this month. Maybe next month, eh? What does Janet have to do, for these hedge funds to win, just send them dollars directly?
Indeed. You could have BTFD on an index tracker for the last 20 years and outperformed these goons. As you say, it's not like the Fed didn't telegraph QE and twist and whatever enough too. WTF are they doing?
Yes.
Corrupt, lying, lazy Scumbags
C/O Banksters forever
500 Park Ave.
NY, NY. 02584
ATTN: Coked up whore hounds
Cry me a river. It's time these clowns realize the days they could skim of millions just because they walked in the door are DONE. It's tough out there for all of us. Please join the club. Grab a cocktail and watch this shitshow implode before your very eyes.
Why are you doing a monthly report of hedge funds? Someone who buys stock with a 1 month time horizon is a fucking retard. Back during the 2008 crash, the "bottom" was a window of about 6 months, October 2008 to March 2009. Someone buying in November would look really stupid during the December report even though they'd make a killing over the span of a year.
oh fuck!!!! wait!!!! where can I get in on this fucking shit?????
hey Yellen - any fucking ideas of your own to pick????
stupid cunt!!!!!!!!