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Making $400,000 Per Hour, The Best Paid Hedge Fund Manager In 2013 Was...

Tyler Durden's picture


When it comes to returns, 2013 will be best remembered as the fifth consecutive year in which the S&P 500, lead by Chief Risk Officer and Portfolio Manager Ben Bernanke (replaced by Janet Yellen in 2014 following a bumper 30%+ year), outperformed over 90% of all hedge funds, which as the recent beta blow up has shown, have virtually no original "alpha" ideas, and all merely piggyback on the same high beta "greater fool", hedge fund hotel trades and/or lever on beta as much as their Prime Broker will allow them (in many cases quite a lot).

And yet, hedge fund investors were perfectly happy to keep handing over 20% of their upside and paying a 2% management fee when they could have generated the same returns for free by simply buying the SPY ETF.

How happy?

According to a just released ranking by Institutional Investor magazine, The 25 top earners of 2013 raked in a total of $21.15 billion. That’s roughly 50 percent more than the 25 best-paid managers reaped in each of the previous two years. Four managers earned more than $1 billion, while a fifth just missed that distinction. To qualify for the list, a manager needed to have earned at least $300 million in 2013, or 50 percent more than the 2013 cutoff.

And despite the epic payday, these hedge fund executives may have handily beaten their take-home total for the previous year, but 2013 was hardly the most profitable year for the highest-earning managers as a group. The total earnings for the top 25 are only the fourth highest in 13 years, while their average combined earnings of $846 million are just the fifth-best showing.

Then again, when it comes to the Top 10 hedge fund managers, who all make more money in one year than they can spend in their lifetime, it is no longer about the money, but about bragging rights as the only thing bigger than the 20% performance fee is the PM's ego.

So in the annual ranking of the best paid hedge fund managers, in the top spot, paid a whopping $400,000 per hour amounting to a mindblowing $3.5 billion in 2013, is... well, here is the full list.


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Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:06 | 4732130 CH1
CH1's picture

And the suckers keep buying.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:16 | 4732154 A L I E N
A L I E N's picture

Their funds performance versus the S&P should be on the chart as well.

edit:  Tepper had ~42% return in his two main funds

Well I guess someone knows how to play the game lol

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:29 | 4732229 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, should be "Well I guess some people have a direct line to the Fed"...

All animals are created equal and all that...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:32 | 4732239 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yet we openly mocked him for his CNBS "balls to the wall" idiocy.

I guess clowns can earn a decent living too?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:00 | 4732357 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Scams aren't run to benefit the huddled masses.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:03 | 4732371 Stackers
Stackers's picture

So wait. SAC Capital gets shut down, the manager just squeezes by not getting criminally prosecuted and he got paid $2.4 billion ?

Color me confused

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:13 | 4732405 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

I can't wait to see some of those hedge guys when we are all running through the forest...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:58 | 4732620 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

8 of the 11 on the lists are Jews...

as well, the past three Federal Reserve Chair are Jews....not to mention the FOMC.

also, 8 out of 10 guests or people they mention daily on CNBC are Jews...

What are the chances of that. Its mind boggling.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:27 | 4732753 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Nothing to see here. Move on!

You don't follow the orders? Then you are an antisemite!

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:31 | 4732773 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Whats up ATL....btw, has Francis Sawyer gone again? I havent seen him post in a while...actually I havent been posting as much on here either.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:34 | 4732245 lordylord
lordylord's picture

"And the suckers keep buying."

You said a mouthful.  We don't need government "help" to regulate anything.  Just STOP buying.  Take your money out.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:44 | 4732275 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Tell that to all the ZH daytraders. Even they can't resist and they should know by now what's at stake.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:58 | 4732276 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Actually there was an interesting article on KWN by Michael Pento and he refers to Tepper. Tepper postulated in 2009 that the market would rise no matter what due either to market conditions or Fed intervention. Whats more interestiing is he NOW says that markets are going to tank regardless of either of the above scenarios.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:00 | 4732358 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"Whats more interestiing is he NOW says that markets are going to tank regardless of either of the above scenarios." - Yes, something about full faith and credit and all that.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 15:30 | 4732561 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Time to taper, Tepper!

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:50 | 4732585 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

All that money can't buy Tepper a full head of hair. Sad, really.....

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:28 | 4732207 Payable on Death
Payable on Death's picture

I don't (want to) have a problem with high earnings. However, the bailouts changed my mind. I used to defend these earnings by saying, "They took the risk." Turns out, taxpayers really took the risk (for GS, at least). And, now we have the Fed lifting all oligarchic boats...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:33 | 4732228 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Sshh! You must forget about that and pretend America is a free market... until the next meltdown. Now get to work, you could make this much too if weren't so dumb and lazy!!!


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:31 | 4732234 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

The issue I have with high pay is that if you can make $10 million in a year, who cares if your company crashes and burns. You've just made enough for life. This is also the case with fraud. If you make enough money, your reputation doesn't matter over the long-term because you just retire.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:30 | 4732768 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Intelligent, or I should say, properaly educated, sophisticated, speculators would not have bought the SPY ETF. ETF's are a mugs game designed for and sold to the "public", by the advertising psychologists working for the brokerage industry. The sophisticated speculator would have a futures account and buy and hold the S&P contract, ES; using considerable free margin.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:07 | 4732135 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

Hang em High!

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:12 | 4732155 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Nobody "earns" this kind of money.  They may gain it, but earn it, never.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 16:18 | 4733341 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Envy is a grevious problem - I'm grieving.  He makes more money in a day than I'll make in my lifetime - and I have really worked hard at times.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 16:43 | 4733460 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

So you feel envious of a rigged system and fraud?  Or were you just being facetious?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:08 | 4732136 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

How much does his gardener make? I still got this shovel.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:08 | 4732137 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Just the "free and fair market" sorting out what everyone's compensation should be...


Bullish for those of us with experience providing or managing personal security teams...


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:09 | 4732139 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

The Tribe. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:18 | 4732173 pods
pods's picture

Damn, I could not believe that. What are the odds that they would occupy the top 4 spots?


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:23 | 4732194 Edward1290
Edward1290's picture

had extra cheese on my pizza while watching the pope on TV

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:23 | 4732195 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Why, 100%, obviously.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:24 | 4732201 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Francis Sawyer did a daily recalc of those odds, and look where it got him.  I think there is an assumptive quality by now.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:27 | 4732217 Edward1290
Edward1290's picture

Francis taught us so much..........

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 16:56 | 4733524 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

And that's why he was banished.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:26 | 4732208 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Stay vigilent.  I never complain when making the executioners list gets a little easier.

Give these guys all the rope they want.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:44 | 4732272 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

On a day like this it is comforting to recall the time I fed Bernie Madoff to an actual tiger:

Best line: "Well Mr Madoff you might have walked in here wearing prison orange, but you'll be walking out wearing stripes! You like stripes I hope?"

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:59 | 4732354 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm always hesitant to think that way, but sometimes I just have to wonder.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:08 | 4732391 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

If it's true, then so be it. I've given up trying to be fair about it.

We are in the grip of a historical trajectory that was set in motion 900 years ago.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:13 | 4732409 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It sure is hard to deny that fact. Some thresholds are difficult for me to cross.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:19 | 4732431 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

why Madoff? He was a private ponzi. people could opt not to "invest" with him. i'd start with the people forcing everyone into the mandatory public ponzi's.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:25 | 4732451 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

You'll get nowhere asking a cat why.

To your point however the knives cut all directions. Perhaps you would prefer some Jon Corzine with your tiger today?

How about a little Paul Krugman with that Corzine?

So much to devour for just one tiger. So I had to bring in a backup:

Yes it is very much insane. And the problem is -- what?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:26 | 4732469 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

can we at least get a suggestion box going?

My top 3 would be

1)Ron Insana

2) Blankfein

3) the guy who sometimes works at the deli near me


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:34 | 4732510 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I see you've taken up comedy.

Blankfein it is.

I was going to do Putin, but my tiger fell in love with him instead they went out for drinks and it took all afternoon to get her back on the set. Silly thing.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:40 | 4732537 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

i'd be afraid insana would cause the tiger massive indigestion. Blankfein is the right choice. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:10 | 4732676 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I have to be careful of the fine people at PETA. They've already given me notice that teaching a tiger to murder people is suspect treatment. I only pointed out that I haven't trained her to do anything of the kind, it just sort of came naturally. She being after all an apex predator familiar with eating anything that moves. To which they had no ready answer, their representative being at that very moment too busy being eaten.

She has sensible tastes, for a mindless destroying machine.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:36 | 4732518 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

what happened 900 years ago that set this in motion?  link?


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:05 | 4732655 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

good one

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:27 | 4732755 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

900 years ago "high finances" was invented to help fund (and profit from) the 200 or so years worth of Christian Crusades to the Holy Lands.

A lordling could secure a loan in France from one financier and venture onto the road with nothing but a letter of credit to the effect, and take money from an associate financier at the desitination to buy soldiers, arms and ships. This contrasted with how kings did things which was to travel with a chest of treasure, or even an entire train of treasure mules. You can imagine the risks.

And since that time it has been nothing but credit. I'm sure there are some debts (financial and personal)  from the 1200's still being paid down. You have to wonder how that works out for the rest of us.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 20:07 | 4734181 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

cool beans

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:17 | 4732419 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Anyway you slice it Doc, its so fucking disgusting and embarrassing that it cannot be ignored.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:19 | 4732432 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

There is a lot of truth in that statement BOP.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:09 | 4732143 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Push button make money....

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:10 | 4732147 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

What a loser! Jones only makes $600M/yr. How does he have the balls to show his face at the club? JEEZ.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:11 | 4732149 xamax
xamax's picture

I thought Hedge Funds go long and SHORT.....not necessary any more with the Fed pundits......

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:11 | 4732150 Cunnial
Cunnial's picture

Holy Fuck

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:11 | 4732151 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

We have an economy built on skimming (or rather gouging) off of the productive work of the population, while offering nothing of value in return.   I think there's a term for that.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:15 | 4732161 DOT
DOT's picture


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:19 | 4732176 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

When money is the only measure of success, then the only thing better than dropping a turd on a plate and convincing you it's dinner is no turd, and no plate for that matter.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:20 | 4732184 cipher14
cipher14's picture

Parasite. Blood sucking parasite is the term you're looking for.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:57 | 4732615 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Rentier class?  Wealth extractors?  I DO like the other commenter's "parasite" term.  It's not so "nice" and its much more accurate.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:15 | 4732158 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Wow.  Put in 20 years are these rates......  

I wonder if they'll also get social security and a pension later.

So you see, Manfred.  This is how rich folks buy politicians.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:15 | 4732160 10mm
10mm's picture

Doing Gods work i see. /sarc

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:58 | 4732618 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Ripping the faces off the muppets is hard work, you know.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:18 | 4732171 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

I'm going to retire after 1/2 a days work....  

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:18 | 4732172 cipher14
cipher14's picture

Do they think their evil, injustice, and corruption can continue forever? Do they really believe their iniquities will go unpunished? To those in power, the Rulers over the weak and the poor, the Administrators of the Law, the Corporate and Political Kings, the Wicked Men in high places... they are surely headed toward a Great and Dreadful day. Great for some... dreadful for others.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:25 | 4732205 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

$3.5B buys a pretty big can of "Don't Give a Fuck."

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:17 | 4732421 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

AND, if the market tanks and their fund goes down by 80%, do ya' think they have to give back 80%..... 

Raped, wrapped and that's a take.  a big take

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 17:07 | 4733565 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

they are surely headed toward a Great and Dreadful day.


We'd all like to think so but their kind has been getting away with it since time immemorial.  In the next life....well, who knows?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:25 | 4732174 sondernauch
sondernauch's picture

It always struck me as ironic (paradoxical?) that the people who actually do the work -- the bricklayers, the carpenters, the mechanics, secretaries, engineers, usw. -- make so much less than the people who do almost no physical work.

I heard a few years ago that in Japan no executive should make more than 300x the pay of the lowest paid employee. Here in the U.S. that ratio is a billionx and rising. These days I can easily sympathize with the French peasants of 1787.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:26 | 4732211 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

I think humans tend to look at physical labor as being demeaning to the person performing it.

That's certainly true here in the good ol' USofA, the Greatest Country in the WorldTM.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:09 | 4732668 sondernauch
sondernauch's picture

Didn't used to be that way. Used to be, every man was proud of his ability to do carpentry and mechanical work, and any man who couldn't do those things was ridiculed. But then we received a large infusion of ideology from the Mid-East ...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:23 | 4732197 RSloane
RSloane's picture

I don't know about the rest of you, I can't wrap my head around someone making 3.5billion$ a year....for doing anything. I would probably work two years and then quit to live a very secure life with my family.

I wonder if he pays any taxes.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:28 | 4732221 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

i'm with you but i'd prob stretch it to three years. i think 10 bil would do it for me, just to be on the safe side.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:11 | 4732330 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Not me. Three months and i'm out. Besides, some day we will all be trillionaires Zimbabwe style.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:59 | 4732349 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

But you're a greedy bastard fonz.

Think of all that gold and silver you could buy! LOL...


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:01 | 4732363 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

thats a great point. stick it out for an extra 3 months just to see if you can corner the silver market.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:19 | 4732430 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Didn't work out too well for the Hunt brothers 30 years or so ago.  Let 'em eat catsup.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:05 | 4732364 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Yep. Working another year will get you your very own personal plane and airplane hanger. Or maybe your own helicopter and pad. Good thinking Fonz, a personal air transport vehicle is a must. I wonder what kind of car[s] he drives and does his chauffeur live in, as it were. That must be the trickle down aspect of his salary.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:04 | 4732365 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Double post, I must be feeling keenly about it.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:42 | 4732268 forwardho
forwardho's picture

A three month stint would net you over $850 million. Think you and yours could scrape by on that? 

Its a truly astounding sum.


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:58 | 4732340 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

The ancient Romans had a good rule of thumb; anything over a million was lumped in under infinity.

$850 million isn't even money anymore. It's just power.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:38 | 4732812 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

You'd think that more people would do just that...enter that world, make a quick killing, and leave for a quieter life where they can just enjoy their 'winnings'.

But I think that once you're in, it changes you. You can't live around all that wealth without having something 'rub off' on you. You develop that mindset where no amount is "enough". A million sounds great to someone making 15 dollars an hour. But when you are making a million yourself, it becomes the average for your new lifestyle, and the goalposts get moved to 100 million, then a billion, etc.

Maybe they don't leave because they never feel like they've 'arrived'...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 17:11 | 4733580 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Mike Milken is a good example.  He made more money than he could spend in 100 lifetimes yet went to jail by trying to make even more.  I certainly don't get the mindset.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 21:35 | 4734474 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Having such a mentality is what it take to get there in the first place.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:23 | 4732198 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Members of congress are lining up to work the glory hole in Tepper's executive washroom.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:24 | 4732203 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

You can't bitch about these guys. Their "investors" pay them all this money. Some "investors" continue to pay year after year while still earning subpar returns.

In most cases you could have bought a 6 fund portfolio and out performed the majority of these guys by simply reallocating and reinvesting the dividends. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:26 | 4732209 sondernauch
sondernauch's picture

Laundering money is still a crime. Well, at least for us little people.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:28 | 4732218 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

On that point, does the fund performance match this compensation? I wonder how this would have all happened without QE-infinity.

Full faith and credit motherfucker.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:26 | 4732210 ...out of space
...out of space's picture

so QE did help?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:59 | 4732353 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Gee -- ya think?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:26 | 4732212 q99x2
q99x2's picture

To the pyramids. To the pyramids. To the pyramids.

Keep dem doggies movin. Putin.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:27 | 4732219 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

We are all even in the


doesnt mean shit when you die! 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:51 | 4732312 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Yes. But it makes for a nice 90 years, waiting to die.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:26 | 4732457 walküre
walküre's picture

Plus the kids will inherit the wealth and status and continue the raiding. Same as it ever was. Just stop accepting their money for your services and products.

Price gold and silver properly and accept an ounce of silver for every $50 worth of your products. Your customer will convert their cash into silver and bring the silver to you, banking the "discount".

When you're a farmer like myself, you don't give a shit about paper money.

No receipts, no income "declared", no taxes.

It just might start a trend.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:05 | 4732654 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"No receipts, no income "declared", no taxes."-  This is actually how the vast majority of "successful" operations actually work. If it keeps uncle SAM out of the till, of course any smart owner will gladly spread the profits around.  Keeps the tribe loyal.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:29 | 4732222 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Top 3 in da club. It is easy to make money when you in da club trading on inside information or being protected by the rig.

Simons not sure if he is in da club since the guy really is a mathematical genius and bases most of his investing on number crunching not inside information like Cohen there.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:13 | 4732406 novictim
novictim's picture

When you have such money, you buy "mathematical geniuses" like turnips at the farmers market. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 17:16 | 4733608 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

I was assured by a moderately successful fund manager that it was ALL about access to inside information at the earliest possible time.  He admitted to using it himself but pointed out that he was in the penny league working off scraps.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:29 | 4732224 optimator
optimator's picture

"Making 400K an hour".  Or, Taking 400K an hours. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:09 | 4732394 Bear
Bear's picture

I'll a little overtime

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:31 | 4732236 fishwharf
fishwharf's picture

A handy list for people with nothing left to lose.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:33 | 4732244 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

And, what they did actually pay taxes on, they paid the long-term capital gains rate. Because Hitler.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:44 | 4732277 larz
larz's picture

worth every cent

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:45 | 4732284 _SILENCER
_SILENCER's picture

Skyscraper People.  Elysium.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 12:55 | 4732331 Puncher75
Puncher75's picture

Gee, thanks Mr. Ben!!

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:04 | 4732374 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

We must all now take a moment from our daily toil, doff our caps and heartily thank our betters running the non-Federal non-Reserve non-Bank. Without their benevolent hand -- graced by God -- at the nation's tiller I cannot imagine how the rich would have managed to survive, the pitiful dears.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:04 | 4732376 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

I wounder if Tepper is a good tipper?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:08 | 4732390 Bear
Bear's picture

Looks like its Wall Street has a War on Women ... No cute Hedgies

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:10 | 4732398 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

If any girls enter the field they are quickly devoured by the sociopathic alphas ever craving fresh meat.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:08 | 4732392 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Made wealthy via destruction.

Enjoy the ride up, as there will be millions of awake and pissed off sheeple on the way down.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:09 | 4732395 novictim
novictim's picture

This list is just the symptom of a economic system you folks at Zero Hedge refuse to be critical of: Capitalism.

Those named are just better at the game (due to inherited wealth and connections, etc)  than the rest of us.

That said, TPTB have taken away a democratic solution to these grotesque inequities that would be bloodless.  Dollars buy you political results (low taxes) and a stacking of the deck in favor of the oligarchs.

But at the end of the day, bodies and people willing to die in order to "take out the trash" trump any theoretical collection of "wealth".  History has shown that time and again.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:24 | 4732455 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

That's like calling jihadist terrorist 'islamic.'  It could be many things, but it sure ain't capitalism.  I'd call it 'anti-capitalism.'  They don't build, make or produce anything.  Their capital is in their pockets.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:14 | 4732411 walküre
walküre's picture

Invite the whole lot to a penthouse party and then this

One of my all time favorite movie scenes. That's how it's done. The world is used to asshole bankers falling from buildings. Who cares what they did? They're all guilty by default.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:16 | 4732418 reader2010
reader2010's picture

The bourgeoisie has gained a monopoly of all means of existence in the broadest sense of the word. What the proletarian needs, he can obtain only from this bourgeoisie, which is protected in its monopoly by the power of the state.

—Frederick Engels - Condition of the Working Class 1845

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:37 | 4732527 Puchica
Puchica's picture

Mama said they'd be days like these...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:49 | 4732578 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

And yet the money keeps flowing in as pension funds and others are desperate to grab yields and keep up with funding shortfall gaps. 

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 13:57 | 4732611 kevinearick
kevinearick's picture

Gangs:  Knowledge & Willful Ignorance

Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It is simply transmitted – transformed and transferred, with relativity – of, by and for time. Consumers consume the planet in a duration mismatch. That which is most rare and valuable in a consumer society is vision and trust. Vision is the ability to recognize what others do not. Trust is the will to employ vision productively. The old timer with the assets you need to begin doesn’t care about your pieces of paper from the empire, one way or the other, just that you can come, go and return.

Stupid human assumptions imprison humanity in self-absorption. Fiat is grounded, by the tax control of so-misappropriated real estate, by the “they’re not making any more” crowd and the “equal rights” crowd, which is arguably, a better ground than gold, which has even less productive utility in the economy. The opposite of empire is empire.

Gold is simply swapped in and out, when the critters realize that the NPV of misappropriated real estate fails the ongoing concern assumption. Digital money is tied to global real estate control, as is all technology. A casual trip across the empire tells you that it is in demographic collapse again, and the liars depending upon demographic acceleration to feed the ponzi are lying again, big surprise.

All empires, great and small, have a share cropping mentality. The consumers gang up in a distribution to control the land, assuming the individual producers so dispersed must then rent the land, at a premium increasing beyond its productive capacity over time, to produce conspicuous consumption. Empires collect and dispose of DNA accordingly, in demographic booms and busts.

All the legacy empires are top heavy with legacy interest, aligned in a row, with no productive children to support them. And neither misappropriated real estate nor gold, which they have in abundance, does any work. Like all nations before it, the US has consumed its private sector, with the proliferation of public education and law enforcement, in what is now a majority owned market for real estate, organized by legacy feudalists.

Consumers may squeal about how the operation is being run, but only because they want a greater return on the corruption for themselves, which is normalized. The consumers chose not to see their own participation in corruption long, long ago, most by the 4th grade, which is when public education began to arbitrarily slot them into ‘economic’ event horizons. The faster the empire collapses, the earlier the propaganda slotting the increasingly tyrannical outcomes must begin.

The elevator mechanics make a elative premium, without fixing the elevators, because the majority must have those elevators to collect their rent, and the latter has employed technology to replace the former with more monkeys, which doesn’t work, because the arbitrary programmers do not understand the arbitrary engineers, due to specialty proliferation by design of legacy control, and arbitrary call centers employed to fill the gap multiply the stupidity.

Like everywhere else in the empire, development has ground to a halt, increasing efficiency, moving faster into the past. With nothing more than you already have, you could elevate the building and/or rotate the rooms. Those drones are all about real estate control, price and wage control to the end of legacy consumption, artificial demand for artificial supply.

Middle class consumers choose not to think, to accept debt for income in return for a cut of the corruption, re-enforcing consumption. Empires are a classic duration mismatch, between willfully ignorant short term interest and long term natural interest, which is why empires evolve by adding classes, which this one is desperately attempting to do now, but the consumers are only capable of make-work, dressing up for a role in the existing sh-show, which is why labor discounts money by horizon.

If the focus of your community is real estate, the only possible outcome is income inequality, in which the middle class grows its make-work queues, to serve legacy interest, and destroys itself, to serve legacy interest. The migrants run from one empire into the hands of another, which is the same empire. They run from small towns, with tyrants of their own making, to big cities, with bigger tyrants, expecting a better outcome, but are liquidated by duration mismatch in every case.

The critters aren’t sucking down selenium in the valley by accident, and fracking, benzene distillation, will have no better outcome. Have you been to Louisiana? ThyssenKrupp couldn’t make the technology work either. At least healthcare is growing, by inflation. Have you volunteered for your cancer treatment?

Gangs, or tribes, or classes, or corporations, or nations, or whatever you choose to perceive culture to be creates a duration mismatch for a purpose. Effective development is not about controlling others to the plan of competitive advantage in an arbitrarily closed system for the purpose; it’s about moving the focus of the flux to where it is needed, which requires relative foresight in a feedback loop with development.

You will not find your self on the frontier of faith by obeying or rebelling against derivative law. The snake is always a false choice, on a bridge to nowhere created by the chooser for the purpose. The wealth effect of money is, and always has been, an illusion chosen by the majority. Confidence is one thing; stupidity is another. The latter is the empty half, pretending it’s not.

I don’t need a license, a secretary, a supervisor, an administrator, or a lawyer to work on elevators, or a physician. I can serve all those purposes at much lower cost in time. In fact, I don’t have to work on elevators at all. And if it’s all about money, or real estate price inflation, all I have to do is write a few lines of code, which, as you can see, is still far more valued than gold.

There is much more and much less to productivity than meets the eye. Printing inflation for monkeys to eat is one thing; getting people to work is another. Navy is much more than a pretty uniform, a colorful flag, and a toy boat.

If you think about it, you can always cut the certified compliance chain of command supporting legacy, at will. Expect the computers to take from the consumers faster than the consumers can take from others. Heal thyself physician; labor has much better things to do.

Public education breeds attention deficit, granting credit to build scale stupidity.

Bring on the next 800lb gorilla.

I don’t need drugs or proprietary information to make an elevator work. You are not on this planet to be liked, except by your spouse. The correct door is never the ones proffered at the artificial intersection on a one-way bridge to nowhere, all leading to the past. Do not dishonor your spouse and expect to return to a happy home. Teach your children to teach themselves. Better to learn early than late, which is better than never.

Your conscience is the seed and soil, from and to dust you shall go. The empire is just a gap in the switch, in which stunts create insecurity and avarice. Adjust accordingly, to build your own bridge, from and to talent.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:44 | 4732758 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

I'll just run an Accurint report and find out where they live.

Find out if they want to make a donation.

Accurint really does provide some great information!

Anyone want to know what David Tepper's SS# & DOB is????

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:28 | 4732759 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

I'm gonna ask a question here, and don't want to be pelted with vegetables...These hedge funds, are these the types of things a person could be invested in without knowing it? Like some little guy invests through some smaller firm, and that firm goes ahead and puts his money there for the bigger return or something?

I only ask because I wonder how many people actually have their money with folks they wouldn't have invested with, had they know, like we don't know who actually has our mortgages, etc?

If so, that could explain why more folks aren't pulling their money out of the market. Do they even know where it is and who is playing with it?

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:30 | 4732767 basho
basho's picture

fuck 'em all and save 6 for pallbearers

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:34 | 4732789 royal
royal's picture

No Gentiles in the top 5.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 15:34 | 4733080 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Last three words in the Jewish Bible:  "Get the Money!"

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 14:46 | 4732855 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

I don't want to be in their skin honestly. There might come times where riots break out and people will feel very much betrayed. The list of those 10 guys' names' is now out there for everybody to see...


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 15:07 | 4732951 AsIseeIt
AsIseeIt's picture

Yep - and if any of the guys on this list happen to read this.................................there is indeed a list.

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 15:23 | 4733017 Mr. Delicious
Mr. Delicious's picture

The amount of Jews on this list reads like the amount of Jews amongst Ukrainian or Russian billionaires, or indeed amongst heads of federal agencies having anything to do with $$   [treasury, fed, fdic, cftc, cbo, cee, and on and on - as a wise man/woman pointed out on here some months ago].

And we can't talk about it - it's "hate."

Is your school, golf club or fire department too white?  Let's discuss...

My thesis:  'antisemitism' as a word is primarily used to obfuscate wildly disproportionate Jewish power.  I mean, you have to be a special kind of asshole to claim that Jewish dominance of Hollywood, media, banking, etc. is either a 'canard' or necessarily "anti-Semitic"  to point out.

Wouldn't matter quite so much if fuckin' Israel wasn't run by crazy people.  Oh, and if Fundamentalist Judaism wasn't one of the very most crazy, racist, and xenophobic dogmatic concoctions ever dreamed up by a bunch of fucks who wanted to control trade routes to make money from the fruit of other people's labor....

Who owns the Federal Reseerve Bank of New York?  Why can't we find out, and why do 99% of Americans not even care?

Is there any fuckin' chance it isn't primarily owned by European Jews? 


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 17:33 | 4733681 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

According to this guy they're smart and we're dumb - relatively.  And that largely explains it.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 02:45 | 4735093 Mr. Delicious
Mr. Delicious's picture


It does not.

Take it from a guy smarter, by the ridiculous standard of iq testing, than 99% of "them."


Tue, 05/06/2014 - 15:37 | 4733098 jubber
jubber's picture

Here is the link to the Pento interview if anyone is interested

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 18:19 | 4733859 unicorn
unicorn's picture

and now show us the REAL list...

Tue, 05/06/2014 - 18:46 | 4733937 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Ok, statistical inference. Null hypothesis and all that.
2% of the population and 7/11 of that list.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 04:21 | 4735155 johngerard
johngerard's picture

James Simons at Renaissance has been paid billions of dollars a year for as long as I can remember. He should be richer than Buffett by now. Yet I've never seen him on the Forbes list or whatever it's called.

What does he do with the money, spend it all on coke and hookers?

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 21:49 | 4738263 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

$3.5B.  Imagine how many lives that could save.  And these people would think my opinion is motivated by envy, whilst they demonstrate that human life is less important than owning a collection of atoms in the shape of a yacht.

This is why we struggle so - 'stuff' is more important than species.

Anyone been to any good exoplanets recently?




Fri, 05/09/2014 - 14:39 | 4744316 mh505
mh505's picture

Arithmetic is clearly not the strength of this author.

Assuming a very liberal 70-hour week and NO annual vacation, Mr Tepper had an hourly wage of US$ 960K; more than twice the amount stated in the title for this article

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