Celebrate The Recovery By Buying Restaurant Garbage (And Yes: There's An App For That)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In a move reminiscent of the Victorian Age, when those "downstairs" lived off the scraps of those "upstairs", a new app 'PareUp' is set to revolutionize the way the increasingly poor and starving masses in America feed themselves. As HuffPo reports, in a country that wastes between 30 and 40 percent of its food, PareUp is a new app that aims to connect consumers to restaurants and food shops with excess food - enabling the impoverished to benefit from the excess greed of the well-to-do by buying their used and forgotten food scraps (at significant discounts of course). "Good food is a terrible thing to waste," boasts the app - and rightly so - but is it not a dismally sad reflection of a nation, that opines of its all time high stock prices as indicative of its cleanest dirty shirt status, that we need this service (and there's an app for that!)

As The Huffington Post reports,

"Good food is a terrible thing to waste." So reads the opening quote on PareUp's website. PareUp is a new app that aims to connect consumers to restaurants and food shops with excess food. Before retailers throw away food, they alert PareUp users and offer the extra food at a discounted price.

 

In a country that wastes between 30 and 40 percent of its food, PareUp is an app that is sorely needed.

 

PareUp is the brainchild of Margaret Tung, Jason Chen and Anuj Jhunjhunwala. The founders identified the common issue of throwing away unused food at home, and wanted to help chronic food wasters make good use of food doomed for the trash.

 

...

 

The retailers will set the rate of the discounted food, and consumers can choose to take advantage of it if they're interested.

 

...

 

Many bakeries already give out "day old" pastries for a discounted price, and PareUp is hoping to bring that practice to all kinds of food retailers.

So first Greece extends the date on "fresh milk" acceptable for human consumption... and now the US turns day-old, stale, rotting food into a profit center for the poor and starving.

Finally, it is amusing that a business model does exist which assumes that those who have to sift through others' garbage will also have an iPhone and a monthly cell phone contract. Or maybe it is all part of the next fiscal stimulus: ObamaGarbage? 

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Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:33 | 4736605 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Only in America is really getting a different meaning isn't it?

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:35 | 4736620 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

Food

Smartphone

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:40 | 4736646 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Muffin Stumps for Everyone !

 

Clasaic seinfeld,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHtWEH0euh4

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:44 | 4736667 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

When I was in college, I survived on a diet of day old Jimmy John's bread and mayonnaise packets.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:46 | 4736686 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

One man's trash is another man's stinky latte.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:50 | 4736707 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

America has the best-fed 'poor' in the world...

 

 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:53 | 4736723 knukles
knukles's picture

Whole New Meaning to Trickle Down, Bitchez

Jump you Fuckers

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:07 | 4736762 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

is there an app stopping the next pandemic which will be enabled by this?

God I hate software people...

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:32 | 4736864 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Cool.  

Every once in a while I get a taste of for some 2nd day Pate de Foie Gras du Dumpster from Chez Paul down the street.

 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:06 | 4736985 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

"Let them eat caked-on garbage."

-- Mrs. Debtfire (aka Janet Yellen)

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:41 | 4736895 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

The anti-penicillin crowd should applaud this, only those with a strong immune system will survive!

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:42 | 4736899 Confused
Confused's picture

So I can't afford to eat food bought from the supermarket, but with the help of my smartphone i can pair up with stores/supermarkets that have excess food. 

 

Anyone else worried about the disconnect in that logic? 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:03 | 4736978 lordylord
lordylord's picture

Last time that I went to a chain restaurant, the food tasted and looked like garbage.  No need to go digging in their dumpster.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:52 | 4737114 Bunders
Bunders's picture

I guess we live in interesting times.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 15:32 | 4737034 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

I've been dumpster diving for over a year and a half now and never got sick from it.  Stiffed the Man's economy out of well over $10k of spending (flatmates ate too).  Didn't pay restaurants for scraps.  Didn't even hit their nasty dumpsters.  Supermarkets are where it's at.  Much of the food is still packaged and perfectly edible.  See, the system wants to keep everyone on a treadmill to nowhere, unable to take a breather to see past the nose in front of their face.  The system wants an economy based on artificial scarcity.  The system would rather rob someone to give someone else a handout than let any serf eat for free, with no strings of loyalty attached.  All of these goals are served by keeping a large fraction of the population occupied with elaborate methods of turning the Earth's resources into garbage.  The real reason for all the waste isn't accidental legal paranoia or regulatory bullshit leading to arrests of Food Not Bombs homeless-feeders.  These are the intended consequences of social engineering by luciferian elites.

I am teaching others.  The Dumpster Mafia is growing.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 17:51 | 4737438 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

you use the term 'mafia' as jest. 

 

you should google and read about the history fo the carting industry and the domination of it by early husters, italian and jewish immigrants in the lower east side of new york. 

 

garbage has a rich social history associated with it. 

 

in egypt they tried marginalizing the christian zabuton who use their hogs to eat and cart the cities garbage. a fiasco of an imf loan used to buy sanitation trucks right before the arab spring was the motivation for declaring the pigs 'diseased' and killing them all. depriving the zabuton of their traditional means of self sufficiency at the bottom of the social wrung. the zabuton suffered greatly , the arab spring occured. the money meant for santiation trucks was all stolen, or the trucks were, and eventually the city of cairo drowned in its own garbage. 

 

eventually the zabuton got a donation of pigs and eventually started clearing cairo again of their own free accord. 

 

pigs are natures garbage recycling systems. even without people. just let them loose in a city and they do nicely on organic trash.  

 

 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:02 | 4736754 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

When one eats at McDonalds, aren't they eating a restaurant's garbage?  Who needs an app for that?

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:19 | 4736821 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

As that visitor from India said: "I want to live in a country where the poor people are fat"!

 

FORWARD THE COLLECTIVE!

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:28 | 4736852 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

This ain't no collective.  Keeping the rabble sated and passive (or incarcerated and dienfranchised) for the enrichment of the few does not a collective make. 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:51 | 4736925 deflator
deflator's picture

If by, "best fed" you mean highest levels of salt and high fructose corn syrup consumption.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:49 | 4736703 Agent P
Agent P's picture

and the free smells

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:43 | 4736670 pods
pods's picture

Our society is doomed.

You cannot buy food yet have a "smartphone?"

Must be a thing for the Mobile Creatives?

pods

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:52 | 4736714 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

You can't eat iPhones?

 Well, at least you can BLEND them...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAuhUTzNwiY

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:55 | 4736730 Portuguese Revo...
Portuguese Revolutionary's picture

I'm waiting for Moochelle's Marie Antoinette moment... "Let them eat vegetables!"

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:15 | 4736805 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I'm gonna write a LetEmEatCake app that connects poor people who've just had a nice dinner of dumpster food with the uneaten desserts rich people leave on their plates.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 18:07 | 4737482 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Back when I was circulating in, ummm, wealthier circles, I noticed that rich people picked at thier food - and guzzled thier alcohol.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:36 | 4736625 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Dumpster diving will be an Olympic sport soon apparently

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:39 | 4736644 813kml
813kml's picture

Ha, just make sure to use the springboard instead of the platform.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:10 | 4736786 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

BYOB

Bring your own bolt-cutters!

Nothing quite like the thrill of watching the manager of the Goodwill store chase you away from their dumpster. Besides, that desk took up half of the space in their dumpster. So I'd say they owe me.

And no, I didn't cut off any locks. Those went on the next week.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:38 | 4736638 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

This IPO will be $100 billion minimum.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:46 | 4736683 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Welcome to the new liar-in-chief grocery store...

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:52 | 4736719 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Boy when things collapse it's gonna be ugly. This heartbreaking scenario is common in the Phillipines apparently. They call it Pag Pag.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pagpag

 

Meanwhile the self anointed royal class dine on kobe beef sliders and the blood of children.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:54 | 4736728 knukles
knukles's picture

Heinz is coming out with new Blood of Children single serve packets ...

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:13 | 4736797 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Finally. Spicy as well?

Thu, 05/08/2014 - 16:35 | 4741051 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

wrong brand, you're thinking of Frank's Dead Hot.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:17 | 4736811 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

That Wiki entry could be tagged "EOTWAWKI"

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:27 | 4736842 pods
pods's picture

Yeah, that sounds like a small step up from "The Road."

pods

Thu, 05/08/2014 - 16:13 | 4740990 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

America's next civil war won't be over the loss of rights. It will be over cheezypoofs!

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:33 | 4736608 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Que the FSA on mobilty devices, in search of the elusive half eaten Dolly Madison

 

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:44 | 4736672 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

No ice cream, no peace!

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 17:41 | 4737415 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

No beer, no peace!

 

FIFY

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:33 | 4736612 youngman
youngman's picture

I notice that after I eat a salad..a lot does not get digested and is left the next morning in the toilet..is there an app for that....crapo de jour???

Just what you want is a line of homeless waiting ourside your restaurant

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:52 | 4736717 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You should definitely start a blog about this perplexing malady.  The money might start pouring in and you could create an app.....

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:56 | 4736733 knukles
knukles's picture

App my ass... he needs to see a doctor, FFS
Oh, there are none of them under ObieCare, anymore?
Go ahead, shit you guts out.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 14:04 | 4736758 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Actually, the only practice for doctors under ACA that has prospered is ass doctors.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:43 | 4736616 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

McDonalds should be perfect for that since their food never spoils - Diamonds and McBurgers are forever:

14-year-old McDonald's hamburger looks almost new

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2013/04/25/14-year-old-mcdonald-hamburger...

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 17:15 | 4737354 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

I have a 3 yr old loaf of bread that looks like the day I bought it. I want to see how long it lasts.

Did a look/see of our local food bank's aquaponics program. The guide said 'DO NOT PUT BREAD IN YOUR COMPOST HEAP, IT WON'T DECOMPOSE".

WTF does that tell ya?

Thu, 05/08/2014 - 16:08 | 4740978 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Glad I don't live in America. I've never had bread that won't decompose.

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:34 | 4736617 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

its just the beginning, unless every able-bodied man in the US gets some balls, grabs a gun, and gets in line...

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 13:36 | 4736628 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I'll take a t-bone leftover trimmings and some mashed potatoes with a cigarette butt in it please, hold the salad remnants.

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