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Friday Humor: And Now, It's The Warm Weather's Fault

Tyler Durden's picture




 

By now everyone knows that a $17 trillion economy has no greater nemesis than snow... in the winter... which in the first quarter of 2014 managed to lob off some $50 billion in growth from the world's largest economy, and instead of allowing the US to expand at its priced to ultraperfection 3.0% rate, resulted in a screeching halt in growth.

But did you know that the one thing that the economy of the centrally-planned world can't stand more than cold is... heat.

That is what Italians found out today when they read daily publication Ansa which "explained" that March industrial production declined by 0.5% because, drum roll, "summer came early this year." 

* * *

No really

 

And just like that the voodoo science of economicks (sic) has become the laughing stock of weathermen the world over (everyone else has already been laughing at economists for years, not with).

h/t @kristian_gjoka

 

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Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4744604 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

The porridge is never quite right.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:57 | 4744632 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

Better to marry an economist than marry a weatherman.

Atleast, nobody blames you if you are wrong. You can blame it on the weatherman !!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:01 | 4744652 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

You'd think up until this past year that there just plain wasn't any weather.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:11 | 4744685 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Who?

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:24 | 4744727 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

This is not a surprising meme. If weather is so important that it has an oversized influence on something as important as our economy, then it follows that the weather is something which must be controlled in order to not negatively impact the economy.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:26 | 4744732 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Is that you Al??

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 18:57 | 4745070 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

No, just humble I.

Sat, 05/10/2014 - 10:34 | 4745941 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

"Weather as a Force Multiplier: Owning the Weather in 2025":

http://csat.au.af.mil/2025/volume3/vol3ch15.pdf

A report for the USAF, presented in August 1996.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:45 | 4744785 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

Weather is something to be TAXED into submission. We pee-ons must pay up to fix it or die. /sarc

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:19 | 4744710 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

WTFO !!?? Now it's the fucking HOT weather to blame!?

C'mon!  The Itralians have got to have moar materia grigia, senza dubbio!?

Merda!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:22 | 4744717 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Boy, you know NAR is pissed.......

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:04 | 4744663 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The porridge is always going to suck when the bowl is made out of shit!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4744606 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Fucking earth and all of its weather.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:01 | 4744649 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

The USSR always blamed the weather

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4744607 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

psssssssssssssssssssssssssssst....its a depression

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:28 | 4744737 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

OK... Your secret is safe with us...

 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:51 | 4744609 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So a warmer than usual March slows production in climate controlled factories?

Did the chirping birds and blooming daffodils trip things up?

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 17:59 | 4744941 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm going to have to guess that power production is considered industrial output.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 21:52 | 4745432 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

fewer people had to claim cheap gas subsidies from Gummint. Gummint output (READ: control), over the economy was diminished.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:52 | 4744613 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Haaa haaaa warm weather in Europe, it hasn't f****g stopped raining all winter, a bit of warmth is needed to dry things out.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:54 | 4744615 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

L'anticipo del Money Printing e ancora merde da Brussels frena la produzione industriale, -100%

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:55 | 4744620 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

I've been trying to tell them, I'm at the beach, not the mall !!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:54 | 4744621 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Green for the Friday close!

Pump the bellows!  Prod the Orcs!  We must close green!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:56 | 4744627 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Looks like it's working !!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:56 | 4744629 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Too weathery! 

 

http://www.pakistantoday.com.pk/2014/05/09/city/islamabad/bank-employee-...

Now THAT is funny...because he is a banker. 

Use YOUR local black market...buy used. 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:14 | 4744695 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Accidental Death of an Analyst ;o)

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:58 | 4744638 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Panda bears don't need bamboo, but Honey boo boo.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 15:59 | 4744645 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Why is there only one lady working in the factory floor in the picture? 

 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:02 | 4744654 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

Siesta time?

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:36 | 4744763 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I noticed the same thing....the european economy must finally be improving. 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 18:04 | 4744952 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"Demand, meet Supply."

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:02 | 4744646 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

DAMNNNN YOUUUU EARTH NORMAL SEASONAL WEATHER !!!!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:00 | 4744648 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

It's too hot or cold or wet or dry or windy outside. I cannot pay my mortgage, buy a used house, buy a refrigerator, go on a vacation, trade in my old clunker, hire an illegal or start my company.

Sat, 05/10/2014 - 11:23 | 4746031 Tom_333
Tom_333's picture

You´re the model voter....get registered will you....Hillary needs you and you need her.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:05 | 4744665 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Weather and Economics...

If an economist flaps his lips in China there might be Hindenburg omen two weeks later on Wall Street.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:07 | 4744670 HamRove
HamRove's picture

The recovery will come whe the weather is perfect for a full year.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:07 | 4744672 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

It's not so much about the insult to our intelligence, it's the lack of imagination...THAT'S what really bothers me. There is no thought behind it, they didn't even bother to come up with something, they just pull out the same one they used last time and change a word. And it's used by everybody now, they'd probably blame the weather for a dip in mitten sales. You feel like they just don't give a damn. It's maddening.

They could at least have put a little effort into it.

 

 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:30 | 4744747 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     I wonder what the fucking Eskimos/Inuites say when shit doesn't go their way?

  Husband: "Honey the Reindeer must have taken February off because it was so fucking hot!"

  Wife: " Oh shit how are we going to feed our children?"

  Husband: " Well we have that old HP printer in the outhouse...I'll just print some Reindeer and we'll all eat that."

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:33 | 4744755 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Call me crazy, but I always thought lower power consumption resulted from lower industrial output as opposed to causing it.  In other news, people are eating out less as a result of lower restaurant sales.   

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:47 | 4744788 eurnzd
eurnzd's picture

To be fair, the Italian Institute of Statistics doesn't mention the weather....

http://www.istat.it/en/archive/121271

 

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 16:58 | 4744812 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Al Gore warned us and we didn't listen! WE DIDN'T LISTEN!! AAAAAHHHHHHH.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 17:09 | 4744835 wisefool
wisefool's picture

As I understand it, Al Gore wanted to set up an additional tax framework to avoid climate change. Apparently the existing 80,000 page US tax code was not enough to do the job.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 17:53 | 4744927 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Al is short for Asshole.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 20:46 | 4745319 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Al Gore, in my book, is the biggest dousche that ever lived. A total waste of oxygen. He should set an example and swallow some rat poison.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 21:41 | 4745422 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Al Gore invented the internet, discovered global warming-that is our fault- and invented carbon tax. What's not to like?

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 17:26 | 4744870 CoastalCowboy
CoastalCowboy's picture

I'm about halfway through my time on Earth. There has always been some sort weather going on for as long as I can remember. I'm talking heat waves, thunderstorms, snow, tornadoes, blizzards, sunny days, rainy days and even windy days.

I just can't recall it ever affecting the economy so severely. Either they are just making up bullshit or the economy really is so weak the weather actually affects it negatively.

God help us all if we ever have another Winter Storm of March 1993. I don't recall it affecting the economy very much either, and it smacked the bat shit out of the entire Eastern half of the nation.

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 17:47 | 4744912 AustrianJim
AustrianJim's picture

Truly hilarious

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 18:24 | 4744985 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

And what is this new crap where they're trying to 'label' our moribund economy as The Great Moderation 2.0?

WTF?

Has anybody else seen this?

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 20:30 | 4745273 hairball48
hairball48's picture

So if GDP falls in the winter because it's cold...and falls in the summer when it's hot...

Then when does it rise?

...oh nevermind. Fuck it! :)

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 21:13 | 4745373 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

we need to end the war on drugs, poverty and people with opinions and concentrate all our resources where they are needed, the war on weather, deal to winter first, then when it gives up we can move on to summer, how dare the weather interfere with the American dream, I'm outraged!

Fri, 05/09/2014 - 22:07 | 4745449 CoastalCowboy
CoastalCowboy's picture

Whatever it takes to deflect the blame from wet blanket in chief Lord Obama all you ray-cysts.

OBEY!!!!! /SARC

Sat, 05/10/2014 - 09:14 | 4745875 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Perhaps they are using "code" when refering to "warm weather."

 

They're really saying that the global warming bullshit hoax and resultant regulations, etc. is killing business and industry.

Sat, 05/10/2014 - 17:21 | 4746798 heavy.metal
heavy.metal's picture

Fucking amateurs.... a REAL central planner would have made warm weather punishable by death. Problem solved!

 

Sat, 05/10/2014 - 17:30 | 4746805 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...a man after my own heart, you got these fuckers figured out too I see ;-)

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