Angela Merkel On The Ledge: "This Is Not Fair... I Am Not Going To Commit Suicide"

Tyler Durden's picture


What is most remarkable about the following detailed FT profile of the Cannes November 3-4, 2011 G-20 summit (when Europe, knowing well virtually every other option had been exhausted and was forced to grovel for Chinese cash)... not that Obama, facing an election and fearful of what a Eurozone disintegration and depression would mean to the US economy and more importantly, to his re-election chances,  managed to bring German chancellor Angela Merkel to tears, which he did...

To the astonishment of almost everyone in the room, Angela Merkel began to cry.


Das ist nicht fair.” That is not fair, the German chancellor said angrily, tears welling in her eyes. “Ich bringe mich nicht selbst um.” I am not going to commit suicide.


For those who witnessed the breakdown in a small conference room in the French seaside resort of Cannes, it was shocking enough to watch Europe’s most powerful and emotionally controlled leader brought to tears.


But the scene was even more remarkable, those present said, for the two objects of her ire: the man sitting next to her, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, and the other across the table, US President Barack Obama.




The US president asked whether Ms Merkel could work it out with the Bundesbank by Monday. Mr Sarkozy suggested finance ministers meet to agree the details before the summit ended the next day. Perhaps something vague could be mentioned in the summit’s communiqué, Mr Obama suggested. No, said Mr Sarkozy, but we could meet again in the morning.


It was as if the two men had not heard her. She made the point again: “I’m not going to take such a big risk without getting anything from Italy. I’m not going to commit suicide.”

No, the real news is that even as Europe was facing near certain disintegration, it still was unwilling to make the compromises necessary to move away from a pseudo-union, one which is neither a federation where joint bond issuance is possible and where members are ratably responsible for each other, nor where the countries are wiling to cede soverignty to the most stable and viable entity in order to spread risk.

Mr Sarkozy attempted to manage the three-way impasse. The US wanted Germany to contribute its SDRs but Germany was only willing to give a partial commitment if Italy gave in on the IMF programme. Giulio Tremonti, Italy’s finance minister, held firm: Rome would accept IMF monitoring but no programme. Would the Italian monitoring plan, plus a commitment by Germany to contribute bilateral loans, be enough, Mr Sarkozy asked.


“No. Germany has one-fourth of all [eurozone] SDR allocations,” Mr Obama objected. “If you have all the EU countries together but not Germany . . . it starts losing credibility.”




The leaders met again the next morning but the momentum was gone. “The storm was over,” said one person at both meetings. The SDR plan would never again see the light of day. Italy would get a monitoring programme but no funding. And to compound the failure, Mr Berlusconi at his closing news conference publicly acknowledged what everyone had assiduously attempted to keep secret: that the IMF had offered him a rescue programme. Italy would suffer the stigma of needing a rescue but without receiving any assistance.


The Cannes failure provided new oxygen to the eurozone fire. When markets reopened, Italian borrowing costs soared. Within the week they would nearly touch 7.5 per cent. Greece’s would go above 33 per cent, a level almost without precedent for a developed country. Now, with no new firewall in place, it was unclear what would save the euro.

There is more in the full report by Peter Spiegel, but for those who lived through each and every trial balloon headline, what happened next is a clear memory: Goldman's recent ascendent to the head of the ECB, Mario Draghi, sent Italian bond yields soaring in the process forcing Berlusconi to quit, Greece's G-Pap also quit after his failed referendum gambit, and the one thing that prevented the all out collapse of the Eurozone, was the (latest) US-Funded global bailout of November 30, 2011.

And ever since then it has been one lie after another, starting with Draghi's "Whatever it takes" bluff to prevent the collapse the Euro, knowing full well the ECB is unable to monetize bonds at will like the US Fed (in his own words), and which has since transformed to a "whatever it takes" to push the Euro lower (confirming that the Eurozone is only viable in a EURUSD 1.20-1.40 corridor, and proceeding with the OMT "program" which still doesn't actually exist, nearly two years after its introduction.

So what has happened in Europe since the fateful Cannes G-20 summit in 2011 which made Merkel cry? Why nothing. Absolutely nothing has changed, that infamous austerity which everyone hates never actually happened (those confused about this are urged to look at all time record high (and rising fast) debt numbers across the Eurozone periphery), and worst of all, that most important Keynesian variable - private sector loan growth - never picked up. As the chart below shows, Eurozone lending to private business remains at a record low, and very deflationary, -2.2%.

The reason: since European government merely kicked the can courtesy of yet another global central bank "put" exercise, all the politicians were spared the dread of actually implementing painful reforms. So what did Europe do? It changed the definition of GDP sufficiently to make Spain and Italy appear as if the two fulcrum nations are growing, and also suckered US hedge funds and private equity firms to chase after European non-performing loans and bad debt, now that the scramble for distressed real estate is finally over as US housing has finished its fourth dead cat bounce.

But at least Merkel did not have to cry any more, as the return of the Deutsche Mark was delayed by a few more years, at the expense of all those peripheral workers (the lucky ones who did not lose their job of course) who devoid of the capacity for an external, FX, rebalancing have seen their wages crater for years, just so Germany can keep its export machine humming courtesy of a cheaper currency.

We wonder if once the effect of the liquidity tsunami fades alongside the Fed taper (especially since the ECB's bluff of full, Fed-style QE will remain nothing more than just that, a bluff), and European bonds are finally reacquainted with selling, in turn sending the continent in yet another recession because, we will repeat again, nothing in Europe has been fixed, whether European stubbornness wins out again, and the member nations would opt out for disintegration of the most artificial union in history, or whether Angela Merkel will cry one final time?

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Sun, 05/11/2014 - 20:58 | 4749443 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

What's new about nothing being fixed?  We've had a broken economy since before 2008 and it's only patched over with paper.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 20:59 | 4749449 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Some cruel bastard said she looked like Janet Yellen?

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:00 | 4749453 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

USD and EUR collapse at the same time to unveil a single currency.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:03 | 4749461 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Cry for me, Germany.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:06 | 4749471 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Fast forward to 2014...

Guess the banker deaths have not spread to politicians, yet?

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:26 | 4749528 markmotive
markmotive's picture

Isn't she being bugged anyway? Just check the recordings if you want proof.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:29 | 4749531 i-dog
i-dog's picture

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye ... or a country.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:42 | 4749568 max2205
max2205's picture

Fuck that bitch......

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:49 | 4749586 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

I'm gonna take 'crying' as a good sign... something human.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:51 | 4749594 American Dreams
American Dreams's picture

This story is bullshit.  No way Obama projects even this inept level of statemanship.  No way for Sark either, just no way.


Sun, 05/11/2014 - 23:37 | 4749786 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture



Merkel knows that Obozo and Putin control her (and the euroweenies) fate...

And that scares the shit out of her!

I can't say I blame her one bit.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:38 | 4749870 BTFDemocracy
BTFDemocracy's picture

If dual currency collapse, then single currency.

If single currency, then time to buy Bitcoin.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:33 | 4749938 Mistress Raindrop
Mistress Raindrop's picture

Angie, don't you weep.  All your kisses felt so sweet.  Hate that sadness in your eyes.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 04:01 | 4750067 Lore
Lore's picture

Mistress Raindrop = Bot. DO NOT CLICK.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 04:39 | 4750083 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

BIG mistake putting Germany into a corner!

Look what happened the last time.

Soon we will see those swastika banners flying again.

Nicht gut!

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 06:39 | 4750160 old naughty
old naughty's picture

tell her:

"woman (eh Angie) on a ledge, you don't have to copy Sam Worthington, after all, he's after a diamond."

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:42 | 4749878 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Remember when George came up behind her and gave her a quickie backrub?  Skeletons and water, closets and bridges.  Lots.

I am Chumbawamba.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:26 | 4749857 adeptish
adeptish's picture

Three year old  hear-say garbage story, not impressed Tyler...

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:45 | 4749964 August
August's picture

Never happened.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:54 | 4749601 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"the ECB's bluff of full, Fed-style QE will remain nothing more than just that, a bluff"

the article is saying that the euro is in no danger of being over-printed, and therefore the euro will continue to be strong

this is very bullish for the zh-reader's Euro play

grabbing them up, hand over fist. 

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 23:43 | 4749808 daveO
daveO's picture

At least until Draghi meets with an unfortunate accident?

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:55 | 4749607 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Wait...viewing the rather copious amounts of " suicide" bankers recently, the extrodinarily amount of bio techs dead in the 00's, would this comment by a ruler of Germany be viewed as concrete evidence to the masses that fucking every reporting suicide is suspect?

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 22:48 | 4749707 noless
noless's picture

People don't just up and commit suicide, usually it's preceded by a concerted campaign of psychological harassment, generally imperceptible to the outside observer because it has to do with deeply private memory triggers not recognized by anyone besides the individual or those within the campaign..

That being said I'm sure there are "well adjusted happy fun loving" individuals who just decide to jump out a window one day, but I'm guessing it's not that frequent.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 07:09 | 4750188 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

I think that is what got old Adolf so down too, down in that bunker. ( Or maybe it was T-34s and special NKVD squads 100 meters away constantly playing Alexanders Rag Time Band over and over...)

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 23:20 | 4749752 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I think it was political suicide she was alluding to, but when was the last time you heard someone who wasn't a kid protest that something wasn't fair? Who said the world was fair? That's something that comes out of the mouth of someone younger than a middle-schooler, not an adult. I thought she could hold her own with the big boys. Adults know things are often not fair and don't generally whine and cry about it. You either take the chocolate or you don't. Apparently she did.

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 23:51 | 4749818 daveO
daveO's picture

Most women are children. They always cry to get their way. It's their 'go to' tactic. Hillary almost used it at the hearings. Then, knowing that would cost her, shreaked instead. A suitable alternative emotional outburst. 

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:13 | 4749846 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

To be fair most men are children as well.  Different tactics; same service to self.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:20 | 4749853 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Personally, I never could squeeze out tears to get my way, but if I get angry enough I cry - its beyond my control and frankly mortifying. Tears don't work for very long, if at all, as a means of getting ones way. Men become inured to tears pretty quickly. I always found withholding sex to be a much more effective means of getting what I wanted if I wanted it badly enough, and that tactic stood the test of time. 

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:24 | 4749856 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

Merkel tried that already.  It......... didn't work.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:31 | 4749864 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I bet it works for her with Herr Merkel.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:53 | 4749874 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture



HM: "kann ich berühre die hiney, meine Frau?"
FM: "NEIN!  
Bring den Müll raus und reibe meine Füße!!!" 

HM: "awwww...... Ich bin ein geilerMerkel....."

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:00 | 4749893 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

"I always found withholding sex to be a much more effective means of getting what I wanted if I wanted it badly enough, and that tactic stood the test of time"

Thats the worse tactic you could use, it's never worked since the beginning of time.  Wake him up with a BJ instead.  He'll love you for it and won't think you're a whore.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:10 | 4749899 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

Good advice- Always worked for my dad.  His lover was putty in his hands. 

Dad likes to overshare.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:11 | 4749906 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Withholding sex from your wife is not good advice.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:13 | 4749909 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

I meant the bj.  Nevamind.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 01:19 | 4749923 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

That didn't clarify anything.  Dads lover being putty in his hands?

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 05:17 | 4750098 BigJim
BigJim's picture

The implication is that his Dad is gay.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 11:18 | 4750848 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

hmmmm....... my dad would call that a "sticky situation".

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 02:38 | 4750016 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I'm not talking about things. It was politics and war.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 05:18 | 4750100 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 I always found withholding sex to be a much more effective means of getting what I wanted if I wanted it badly enough, and that tactic stood the test of time.

I suspect Merkel found that didn't work with the Big 0.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 09:17 | 4750437 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

You are absolutely correct, just look at Boehner.

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:15 | 4749839 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

...A great 'piece' explaining the quantum physics that our governments/elites and of course ALL religions have used and worshiped for thousands of years.....TIME/SPACE (time is sin, space is matter) now you too can avail yourself of high physics through your programmed religion and CERN. All roads lead to Rome...which Italy USED to be called and known by the OLD world as really ALL YOUR WORLD is and has been created by saturn. Today your stupid sychopaths that own you through the dollar/currency.....have NO TIME LEFT...eeeeehhhhhhhh.....and they think their ''god particle'' CERN is going to replace SATURN. I know we all know today.....that the royal families of europe are truly inbred idiots.....but la rouche....the vatican jesuit pedophiles.....and of course the bush ego maniacs of the many luciferian clubs, aka free masonic doo doo's...and the like, are going CRAZY......cause they aren't god, and their 'light barrier' isn't holding up ITS end! which is funny, cause its dickless anyway!



Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:23 | 4749854 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Time is Money

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 00:37 | 4749871 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

On a long enough timeline...

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 05:19 | 4750101 BigJim
BigJim's picture

You used to make sense. What happened?

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 08:05 | 4750252 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

2 bottles of wine...

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 05:31 | 4750107 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

I love a good rant, but you lost me at "..."

Was there a point you wanted to make?

Mon, 05/12/2014 - 03:20 | 4750047 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

With your dick

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 21:54 | 4749606 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"Cry for me, Germany."

Hamburg, Germany 1962: 

Recommended setting:  LOUD

Sun, 05/11/2014 - 23:33 | 4749784 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

Suicide she says.


Maybe it has something to do with Germany siding with the BRICS and CO,  60+% of their oil comes from the "Ruskies".

Wasn't DOUCHE BANK holding like 70 trillion in worthless derivatives, that form the pillar of 1,000 trillion sheets of freestanding paper on a vertical string?


Thats gonna sting a bit..


The big question I have, is how are we going to add a G to BRICS?



FUCK Psycho child molesting shape shifting reptile mother* fucking squids!!!!





* For Mothers. Happy Mothers day.


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