This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Tuesday "Hockey Stick" Humor

Tyler Durden's picture




 

"Faith" in America's central planners goes from the sublime to the ridiculous...

 

 

h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:33 | 4757007 Slave
Slave's picture

What a bunch of fuckups.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:38 | 4757030 max2205
max2205's picture

That's right. ..I checked my calendar and everyday is now Tuesday

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:05 | 4757114 knukles
knukles's picture

This has the same credibility of Angelina Jolie walking into some show somewhere (lead photo on Drudge, no I don't follow here, other than to know she probably would be arrested if she had as many dogs as she has kids) and having white powder on her face and it dropping onto a carpet and her makeup people saying they screwed up.
For thew Love Of Fucking Sanity, Please God (whom or whatever you are) please strike these people down!

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:10 | 4757132 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Angelina Jolie needs to up her game to twerkin.

(And go all skin & bones anorexic, of course)

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:19 | 4757167 knukles
knukles's picture

What I can't figure out (And this is all from reading the front pages of the Enquirer, News of the World and so on at the grocery store checkout lanes... is good fun.. especially when you strike up conversations with strangers about how talented Miley Cyrus is, etc... )  is what the fuck Brad Pitt was doing with Jennifer Aniston.

 

scratching nuts, wondering   wondering           wondering

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:24 | 4757186 nmewn
nmewn's picture

First Rule, we don't talk about Fight Club ;-)

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:36 | 4757222 knukles
knukles's picture

LOL

Jenifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie fighting to the death in a swimming pool of Jello.

Now that would get the old CNN ratings back up!

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:36 | 4757225 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Brad Pitt did pretty well for himself... considering he's basically just a stoner from Missouri ;)  

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:37 | 4757230 knukles
knukles's picture

He went to journalism school?

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:40 | 4757236 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Yup.  Journalism and Advertising.  Like I said, a stoner from Missouri.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:30 | 4757391 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Wait, I've been away cooking bacon, whats the matter with stoners again? ;-)

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:38 | 4757419 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Whoa!?!... nothing wrong with stoners nmewn.     Rastafari    -_-

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:39 | 4757425 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Both of those are my greenies my man ;-)

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:02 | 4757495 Mistress Raindrop
Mistress Raindrop's picture

I'm a big fan of hockey.  But I never learned to skate.  Bitches.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 23:44 | 4757776 prains
prains's picture

you are a taint boil that never goes away

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:47 | 4757454 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Hey! I'm a stoner from Missouri...or at least I was forty years ago, and yes I attended that dreaded University of Missouri and walked past the communist school of Journalism every day. Of course I was just taking brain dissolving courses in math and sciences. If I hadn't been such a stoner I might have realized the potential of that giant stack of Fortran cards I was packing around. I eventually had to leave as it was the only way to get free of the drugs that saturated a college town in the seventies.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:22 | 4757550 youngman
youngman's picture

My college computer was a CDC 6400....we learned Fortran in Engineering...I had those boxes of cards...I hated them because I do not type very well..and I always made a mistake..and we could only run our programs 2 or 3 times before they kicked us out...I passed..but many long nights in the computer room...

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:31 | 4757575 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Yes, computers seemed so useless back then. So much work to solve relatively simple problems. At the time it seemed like we were doing everything the hard way. Fifty years later and I realize I have been doing everything the hard way ever since.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:40 | 4757038 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

Give um a break, they get their data from equifax, just like the fed and everyone else

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:56 | 4757091 So Close
So Close's picture

I would trust them to run the biggest economy in the world.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:05 | 4757119 knukles
knukles's picture

I thought it was a TurboTax datd series derivative

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:33 | 4757009 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

Matches CO2 - must mean global warming causes GDP recoveries. Where's my PHD!?

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:33 | 4757011 Seize Mars
Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:35 | 4757015 JJdog
JJdog's picture

weather! Weather screwed up everything! too cold and then too hot! 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:38 | 4757032 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Well, as the wise Sphinx said once:  The worse it was the better it must be.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:40 | 4757039 nmewn
nmewn's picture

No margin for error there!...lol.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:50 | 4757068 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Swinging for the fences every time.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:00 | 4757103 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Is this stuff gettin' wobbly, er whut?

Maybe it's just me....

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:12 | 4757144 knukles
knukles's picture

No more Ativan, Thorazine, Vicodin, Quaalude and vodka enemas for you, son!

Look mommy, daddy just melted! 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:17 | 4757163 negative rates
negative rates's picture

You're so far out there that the bay in san fran has no more room for kayaks. 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:05 | 4757116 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Amazing ain't it?...lol.

The bean counters did an audit on our department today (we were 99% by the way) and in the spreadsheet they passed around there were so many misspellings I found it almost unreadable. Bean counters.

Hey, here ya go, I know you love this shit about the whackos living around me...

"When a 62-year-old St. Johns County woman decided she didn’t like the sort of people who had been living next door, a bulldozer solved the problem.

Except the demolished trailer wasn’t hers."

http://members.jacksonville.com/news/crime/2014-05-08/story/police-upset-neighbors-st-johns-woman-bulldozes-their-mobile-home

We take this community watch thingy serious down here ;-)

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 19:56 | 4757095 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

con

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:00 | 4757104 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

sent

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:03 | 4757111 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

...fidence

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:26 | 4757193 nmewn
nmewn's picture

trary

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 23:45 | 4757777 prains
prains's picture

way twitty

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 03:05 | 4758022 CHX
CHX's picture

...densation

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 10:05 | 4758706 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

...sious denial of reality

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:07 | 4757124 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

How the hell do you expect them to sell anything if they tell the truth?!

Of course they expect a banner quarter and year. There has NEVER been a better time to buy.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:14 | 4757153 knukles
knukles's picture

And here, kiddies is a place that people used to call Echo Point which was later discovered to really be where Satan was talking inside people's heads ...

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:21 | 4757175 negative rates
negative rates's picture

That guys real too, started wit me at 7 years dropping out the sky at night, woke just before i hit, thought it was joke back then, today not so much. I hear if you don't wake up, you actually die. Even I almost didn't get out of those cement boots back in 07. 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:07 | 4757126 Rehab Willie
Rehab Willie's picture

wake me up when we hit ludicrous speed

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:22 | 4757180 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Did that at a camp out in 94, you rode by like a witch on a bike.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:32 | 4757217 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

As the pundits YELL, "the stock market discounts FUTURE earnings"  What an idiots game.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:33 | 4757219 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    These fucking guys have been spending too much time in the choom wagon with Zero behind the Out(White) House.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:34 | 4757403 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fake it until you make it.  Lie until they die.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!