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What Airlines Really Charge (In 1 Simple Table)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Based on the historical profit cycles of the US Airline industry, this most recent exuberance is starting to come to an end. However, as Morgan Stanley notes in their 'deep dive' report, "other revenues" continues to rise as airlines nickel, dime, and benjamin travelers for everything from flushing toilets to extra bags... here, in one simple table, is everything you need to know about Airlines' add-on fees but were afraid to check online...

 

Is the US airline profit cycle getting old?

 

 

Morgan Stanley remains very bullish but we suspect the reality is a different place...

 

But if they keep upping fees for everything else... who knows...

 

How long until we have no-money-down, 72-month financing for airline baggage?

 

Charts: Morgan Stanley

 

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Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:49 | 4757266 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

southwest all the way

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:05 | 4757326 Cow
Cow's picture

Southwest has raised their fares in Texas tremendously since they managed to get the gates at Love Field reduced from 32 to 20.  They then got 16 of those 20 and promptly raised rates like hell.  All thru political pressure.

crony capitalists

 

 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:12 | 4757342 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I remember the days when flying was more of an experience as opposed to a very expensive and much more risky bus ride.

I am Chumbawamba.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:24 | 4757378 Singelguy
Singelguy's picture

I remember the days when I counted the days with excitement until my next trip. Now I dread it and try to avoid airports as much as possible. The security hassles, crappy service and the nickel and diming by the airlines are ingredients for nightmares.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 01:41 | 4757945 Titus
Titus's picture

Totally agree. I fucking hate flying now. HATE IT. There's no difference in how they treat passengers to how ranchers treat cattle on their way to market. And somehow the metal detector goes off every time I go through it despite wearing NO METAL.

Magic?

And why is it easier and less intrusive to get on a plane anywhere else in the world than it is in the USA?

This whole bullshit is just about compliance, not about a real threat.

I was detained in LA once by a fucking mexican CBP guard because I couldn't understand his English.

"JOO BORN HERE MANE?"

Were you born here? Certainly doesn't sound like it.

Cocksucker.

I'm still looking for the t-shirt that states: "The TSA touched me"

 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 10:01 | 4758682 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

What is come up, must is go down.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 11:36 | 4759152 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

T-Shirt:    "I was groped by TSA and loved it!"

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 12:32 | 4759430 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

T-Shirt:   "I was groped by TSA and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt!"

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 04:49 | 4758071 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

From your mouth to ariline fascist airline execs' ears.

 I am fying SBA to MSY on Thurs....only because of short notice. Have trip to MCI in July to MCI planned...am considering drviing if notice is far enough in advance.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 10:02 | 4758689 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

You are to try Aeroflot economy class, is like, how you say, cattle car of skies!

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:37 | 4757416 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

The last time I flew, I refused to go through the junk radiator and made the TSA flunky fondle my nuts in front of the entire airport.  The flunky didn't appreciate it when I said, "Faster,  bitch!" ;)

Of course, this was years ago.  I no longer subject myself to the vagaries of air travel.  I drive my 13 year old Toyota where ever I need to go.  Takes more time, but costs a hell of a lot less and I don't have some randy pervert sticking his hands down my ass crack in the name of nashunal sekurity, because terrrrists.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 09:46 | 4758599 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

How's industry consolidation working out for you?  FYI, it's not the pilots and crew who are making the money.

Free the Enterprise!  Kirk out.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:00 | 4757300 optimator
optimator's picture

Wanted to take my little dog under the seat.  Was given a price higher than my seat.  I asked if I could get a seat for the dog instead putting him under the seat.  Was told that was  not allowed.  So, I get a note from my dr. stating dog is a guide and he gets to go for free.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 20:59 | 4757303 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Can not wait to leave this country...

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:04 | 4757320 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

It's a race to the bottom. Are we there yet?

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:59 | 4757409 SameAsItEverWas
SameAsItEverWas's picture

Can not wait to leave this country...

For where?

Many would like to leave, but finding a place to go and getting comfortable there is easier said than done.  A major issue holding me here are the very loose gun laws in my state, where the right of self-defense is honored .... unless cops are involved.

State constitution preempts local governments from imposing their own gun laws.  And the Castle Doctrine was extended to motor vehicles way before many have been living in their cars due to recent economic crash.  Motorcycle riders asked for equal protection and got it.  Even bicyclists.  Thass right.  Just as you can have a concealed firearm on your person in your home w/o a permit, so can motorcycle riders and now bicycle riders ... no CCW required. 

So the 14th amendment that got corporations protected from arbitrary controls works the other way too, and gives bike riders the same gun rights as automobile passengers under Equal Protection, per state Supremes.

Reasonable fear of grave bodily harm is the triggering condition.  Out of domicile there needs to be no possibility of flight (let that crotch rocket fly!), but Castle precludes escaping home to avoid use of deadly force.  But, indoors or out, shooting someone in the back is a big no-no.  Deadly force to protect self or loved ones is fine, but it's damn stupid to kill someone because you think you're protecting a stranger, because you have no idea what's going on.  And shooting someone over property theft or trespass is also a big no-no unless they've illegally entered your home.

And finally we have the Open Carry law, which allows it, but cops will always hassle you, so it would be great if some Tea Partier opens a Open Carry cafe as a gimmick for business.  God knowws the cafes are already fiull of people with concealed weapons, CCW or not.  Many who went through that rigamarole every two years have said to hell with the relicensing hassle, if a cop hassles them they'll show them their EXPIRED permit(s) indicating at least ability to handle it, while the polizei can run their ID for outstanding warrants or recent convictions that would preclude CCW licensing ... and maybe let you off with a warning.

I simply cannot understand how the gun-loving people of Colorado were outnumbered by the totalitarian liberals there and imposed a 10-round magazine limit. A full--size 9 mm carrying 10+1?  Gimme break!

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 00:21 | 4757833 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Don't leave, stack and arm. Stack and arm.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 08:23 | 4758281 PT
PT's picture

The flying drones will follow you back to your stash and the biological drones will avail themselves to it while you are busy elsewhere.  Given that you do manage to keep your stash when TSHTF, you will probably unload all your fire power on a bunch of brainless zombies.  Meanwhile, those who created the mess will be partying untouched, thousands of miles away.  Stack and arm all you like, but please try to think a little harder.

On a related note, will you be ready when a dozen goons knock on your door, Boston style?  What would have happened if you had have lived in Boston at the time?  What would your situation be today, if you had have been in Boston?  Just askin'.  Hope you already have good answers.  If not, I hope you find 'em.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 13:06 | 4759578 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

To beat drones, think WWII French resistance, not American Civil War.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 17:14 | 4760583 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

“I may die fighting, and I may be forgotten, but if Liberty lives, I will live on and be remembered forever."

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:15 | 4757348 Whatta
Whatta's picture

Oh for the days of young, well dressed, Stewardesses and free Rueben sandwichs, hot coffee and a smile.

Now, some jag Attendant named Tomas wearing a frown, sporting an attitude, and extorting money cuz I need a drink of clean water.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 04:55 | 4758073 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

last time I flew Horizon Air to/from SeatTAC (ca. 2011), there were FREE Microbrews. IDK WTF goes on since the Alaska Air/American merger but they definitely lost money on my seat

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:21 | 4757370 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fuck the airlines and the TSA.  I refuse to fly unless absolutely necessary.  Vote with your wallet.  Refuse the rapescanner and asked to be manually sexually assaulted instead, while proclaiming not to touch your junk.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:49 | 4757423 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Last time I flew, I was detained, questioned/harrassed and interogated for 4 hours, missed my connection flight and denied reentry into the counrty I was born and raised in by an illegal immigrant Cuban POS and they could not even tell me why I was being detained. They told me that he was just making sure i was cleared for travel, I told the idiot that that was what the passport was for, that I had been cleared for travel. I finally told them if I am being denied reenrty to my home county I need to speak with the embassy. All for going to another country to run a welding job because there is not enough work here to make an honest living.

I am a veteran so maybe I am on some list is all I can figure. That is the real thanks you get red flagged, harrassed and interogated.

ILL WALK FIRST

As I was released without an explaination I told them get a good look at this passport because the next time they see it, the flight will be a one way trip and when I return it will be a different color and his illegal Cuban ass can stay here and have it. never did get my luggage or belongings back that went on without me to be lost.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:24 | 4757380 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

And on top of what the airlines do to you the airports themselves reek of overcharging for anything and everything. It wouldn't be so bad, except that these are 'public' facilities - yet the 1% get treated like royalty with their own short security lines (at many airports), their own lounges, preferred seat selection and boarding, preferred parking, etc, etc. All this - on top of what the airlines do to the average flyer has turned me from a frequent flyer to an infrequent flyer. It is simply more convenient and less expensive to reach any place within a day's drive than it is to fly.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:32 | 4757398 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

Get the 1% back.

 

Use the First Class bathrooms, pee on the floor, wipe your arse on the sink handles, and other general foulness.

 

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:42 | 4757436 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Ahh, my son, you need a special key card to get access to those areas.  Peasants aren't part of that club, you see.  So you will not be able to stuff all the toilets to overflowing with whole rolls of shit paper.  You will not be able to piss your name across their sparkling marble floors.  You will not be able to turn on all the faucets and bidets to jet power.  Unless, of course, you mug the flunky who has the access card for emergencies (like a bankster ODing on hookers and blow while sandwiched in the third stall and needing discreet emergency services). 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 10:48 | 4758930 moonman
moonman's picture

KLM flight from JFK to Dublin about 5 years ago. Wife gets airsick and 2 hours in she is gonna hurl. Bathroom is right in front of us, stewardess says she can't use it, first class only.

Wife hurled all over her.

Fucking priceless

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:39 | 4757424 duo
duo's picture

Tell you what, you fly to Tokyo 80 times and Frankfurt 40 times in a 15 year period and tell me you didn't earn it.  That being said, being one of a few dozen people who qualified for AA Executive Platinum every year since they had the status (17 years), they couldn't wait to kick me off when my business travel turned down.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 00:43 | 4757873 Telemakhos
Telemakhos's picture

Haha no.  Those are maybe the 5%.  The true 1% fly their own jets, their company's jets, or a service like NetJets.  I met a NetJets pilot once; she was one of the most knowledgeable people I'd ever met in the air industry, and she was incredibly personable.  She explained the various options for non-commercial flight: the real elite don't ever use the normal airports but general aviation terminals instead, which means no TSA groping, no mingling with hoi polloi, no hassles, no waiting, no lost luggage.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 07:09 | 4758158 Singelguy
Singelguy's picture

The 1% are getting hosed too. Ever look to see what the difference in first class and coach fares? In many cases, especially international flights, the difference is anywhere from 5 to 10 times the coach fare. But I concur. I have also become an infrequent flyer; as infrequent as possible.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:43 | 4757443 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Ok, I'm going to LA in the fall from Fla...whats the best one?

Serious question...

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 21:57 | 4757482 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Leer or I10

serious answer

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:02 | 4757496 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...well, thats a little above my pay grade but thanks ;-)

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 09:12 | 4758316 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

If you can get on an airline like Southwest they have 737s (3 rows each side) and an unambiguous boarding process. (you line up and get on)

If you are stuck with United, you may have an Embraer or a Canada Regional Jet (2 rows each side) doable - cramped.

American would probably connect in Dallas though they have some loud planes - bring your ear plugs just in case - esp if u r stuck in the back.

I used to fly a lot - but joining the common theme with my own pet peeve, the flights were late, had to run fast to make connections, got left at the airport at times, and got tired of the airlines who left me, as well as my clients, as well as my company-blaming ME for not being where I was supposed to be  OR  getting stuck in some airport on my way home.

TSA felt me up a few times, but I became trained to go through the radioactive junk scanner - Probably gonna pay for that at some point in life.

For anyone else out there - think twice before you take that 100% travel job, unless you are about to starve.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 18:18 | 4760797 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I appreciate all the feedback from everyone, its starting to look like SW, good point about the 737's.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:02 | 4757494 Seek_Truth
Seek_Truth's picture

Southwest.

Just search on google for flights between the two airports.

When you get to the Southwest site, select "direct only," if your dates are flexible select "flexible dates" and walla.

Will save you time and money.

Tue, 05/13/2014 - 22:06 | 4757508 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Never flown them before (not a frequent flyer) but I've heard good things about them.

(Let the hatin start on SW now...lol)

Thanks ST.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 00:42 | 4757867 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Does Virgin fly that route?  If so, it's worth the premium for a little bit of humanity...once you get past the gate that is.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 06:40 | 4758129 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Doesn't look like they have anything close to me Vlad, surprised they don't serve JAX, thanks for the insight.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 11:46 | 4759202 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Virgin doesn't have an American division yet and Branson said just the other day he doesn't foresee a time when that would happen due to crony capitalism in the airline industry.  If they could....they would REALLY shake things up.  I've flown Virgin by way of Delta from JAX to LA for a few years.  Once off Delta and on Virgin the 14 hour flight to OZ was almost pleasurable.  Even in coach you are treated with respect....all requests quickly and cheerfully responded to by the crew.  You have your own multimedia center free of charge.....various music categories, films, TV, etc.  Mood lighting...FRIGGING MOOD LIGHTING all around that changes during the day and night and two meals plus a late night snack with some personal freshening items.  And the meals were actually quite good....considering airline food.

Yeah....shame they don't serve JAX.  Doesn't matter now anyway.....I fly out of Gainesville Regional.  Only a third of the way to JAX from home.  Now I fly mostly United.  They suck donkey balls....but in a year I've made it all the way to Gold status.  They do have the best frequent flyer program.  Shame that it's connected with a lousy airline.  But EVERY American airline is lousy except for Southwest.  At least they are honest that they are a bus company with wings.  And no 1%ers.  What's your status?  You've got a ticket....and you've got a seat somewhere....THAT'S your friggin' status.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 18:23 | 4760810 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Went out of Gainesville one time, thats not too bad cept I'd have to hit a connection in Dallas or Atlanta maybe, trying to find a non-stop.

G-Ville is a little over an hour away from me.

 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 09:23 | 4758470 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

SW is an economy class airline. That said, their staff really do seem to be glad to see you. Note: only six legs on SW, so not a lot of experience.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 10:15 | 4758763 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

I fly SW almost exclusively..out of Hou Hobby. Was silver and above on Cuntinental, AA., and Uslessairways.... travel rewards are better, people are better, fares are excellent. The only way I fly the legacies are when SW doesn't go there...

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 06:09 | 4758110 sethstorm
sethstorm's picture

Poor service compared to other airlines, service to middle-of-nowhere airports, and you get to have the "checkin roulette" with respect to seating sections.  That's how they make up for their supposed "positive" qualities.

 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 00:56 | 4757884 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Nmewn, try JetBlue...

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 06:47 | 4758136 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Appears like they do the eastern seaboard to hubs, Fla to BOS/JFK, change planes, then to LAX.

Something to consider...thanks.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 05:01 | 4758078 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Drive. Enjoy the countryside.

Just avoid the border "checkpoints" in the South. It you should encounter them, perhaps asking "Am I free to go?" is the only response.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 06:49 | 4758137 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats a long drive...going to Atoka Ok and back was enough for me...lol.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 08:49 | 4758326 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

That is a long drive.  Depending on where you're at in Fl, might be worth checking airgorilla for rates (caveat, haven't used them in years):

http://www.airgorilla.com/

Airline safety ratings: 

http://www.airlineratings.com/safety_rating_per_airline.php

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 18:24 | 4760816 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'll check them out, thanks!

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 07:05 | 4758157 Singelguy
Singelguy's picture

The cheapest way to get there is to book a flight to Las Vegas on Southwest. The casinos subsidize flights into Vegas. Then book a separate flight from Vegas to Long Beach. Much cheaper than flying into LAX. I have done that trip several times. Total cost is about $340.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 08:48 | 4758331 potato
potato's picture

I've seen connecting flights through LAX to LAS that were cheaper than flying straight to LAX. 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 09:21 | 4758454 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

That trick used to work, especially in the early days of hub-and-spoke systems. It was often cheaper to fly to a major hub by booking a flight to a second city through the hub, and then throwing away the portion of the ticket for the legs to the second city, than it was to book a ticket to the hub directly!. However, these days, the airlines will cancel all remaining legs of a ticket if you don't show for any one of them.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 09:20 | 4758449 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

Greyhound

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 04:33 | 4758059 RagnarDanneskjold
RagnarDanneskjold's picture

What about taxes? Taxes are sometimes close to and even more than 100% of the airline's price. 

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 04:56 | 4758074 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Ask Lil' Timmy

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 08:49 | 4758335 potato
potato's picture

What's the fastest way to make a million in aviation?

 

Start with two million and know when to quit!

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 08:57 | 4758349 Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

Has the industry as a whole (sans defense) ever turned a cumulative profit?  Seems like a giant capital sinkhole.

Wed, 05/14/2014 - 11:39 | 4759170 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

What other business charges you up front before delivering the service, provides lousy customer service, provides a lousy experience and then if you want a refund, they refuse or if you want to make a change several hundred bucks to make that change?

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