Thursday (Un)Humor: Bulletproof-Vest-Wearing Man Yells "Shoot Me"; Is Killed

Tyler Durden's picture

Who could have seen this coming? USA Today reports deputies have charged an 18-year-old South Carolina woman with the fatal shooting of a male friend who had donned a bulletproof vest and allegedly asked her to "shoot me."


As USA Today reports,

Deputies have charged an 18-year-old South Carolina woman with the fatal shooting of a male friend who had donned a bulletproof vest and allegedly asked her to "shoot me," according to local media.


The killing occurred Wednesday in Honea Path, S.C., after 25-year-old Blake Randall Wardell discovered the old vest in a garage where he had been hanging out with friends, WYFF-TV reports.


Anderson County deputy coroner Don McCown said Wardell asked Taylor Ann Kelly to "shoot me," the TV station reports.


Kelly allegedly fired a small caliber weapon at Wardell, but the bullet went through the edge of the vest and into his heart, McCown said.


McCown said there were as many as 10 other people at the home at the time. He said no evidence at the scene of a fight or struggle, The State newspaper reports.


"It wasn't a fight. They were actually going to take a shot at the vest," McCown said, according to the newspaper. "They were going to shoot the victim with the vest on. And he was shot in the chest, just above the vest."


He said the vest appeared to be 10 or 15 years old.


Wardell died at the scene despite attempts to apply CPR, WYFF reports.


Kelly was charged with involuntary manslaughter, which carries a five-year prison term upon conviction.

And that is America... (at least she didn't shoot him in the face)

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tmosley's picture

"Hey, let's make a bulletproof vest that leaves the heart exposed!"

Sounds like the same guys who designed our financial system.

AlaricBalth's picture

Never underestimate the stupidity of our indoctrinated, uneducated youth.

Grande Tetons's picture

That goes double for the free thinking, educated adults. 

NoDebt's picture

And this year's Darwin Award goes to!......


barliman's picture


Darwin was an optimist.

In this case, I hope her lawyer is smart enough to ask the jury to find her "Not Guilty" by reason of insanity of the nitwit who WANTED to be shot.

DaddyO's picture

Stupidity is Terminal...


Stackers's picture

FYI: bullet proof vest only have a 5 year life span

NoDebt's picture

Bah!  I got one that's 12 years old.  Works just fine.  In fact, I'm going to prove it right now.  Here, hold my beer for a second.  I'll be right back.

fonzannoon's picture

here is a good article to illustrate how liquidity is flowing in the economy as the fed winds down QE.


NoDebt's picture

You have the balls to post up a link to champagne drone service while I sit here suffering from an arterial hemorrhage?  Goddamned 12 year old bulletproof vest!

SilverIsKing's picture

Too bad there wasn't a 'gun free zone' sign somewhere in that garage.

El Oregonian's picture

My question is: Was the kid working in the financial sector? Banker maybe? Or was he the son of a banker? ...

Hey! don't get mad at me for asking yo! Just closing up the loose remaining threads....

SafelyGraze's picture

1. man dons bullet-proof vest, is killed

2. bullet-proof vests outlawed as "potentially lethal"

what's that smell's picture

an old vest, beer, a dingy garage, beer, a gun, beer, and a party of drunk white trash...what could go wrong?

jeff montanye's picture

as stated above, the average i.q. rose significantly.  well, maybe.

darwin awards should be grounds for jury nullification.

old naughty's picture

"Never underestimate the stupidity of our indoctrinated, uneducated youth. "


But accepting the "bullet-proof" meme is stupid?

At least not his to start with, no?

And I will not touch the education part. Leave that to the gubermint.

Christophe2's picture

Bullet-proof vests are ALREADY illegal in some states (and Canadian provinces), since serfs with guns AND armor are much more intimidating to the cops than obese civilians would be otherwise...

How many people will the cops kill before people start wearing body armor in the street and on the bus?

JRobby's picture

I wear mine to church. The parking lot is especially hazardous right after receiving the "sacrament"

USisCorrupt's picture

Actually that line came from the late Jim White frm KMOX radio, aka the Big Bumper in the Night.

I am really showing my age now.

TheRedScourge's picture

It looks like someone did, in this case.

Al Huxley's picture

You two should work together more often.

ebworthen's picture

Now I'm REALLY going to shotgun any drone I see.

hot sauce technician's picture

Be sure not to skip news of the Queen of Kenya's royal appointment with the Ivy League's national poet in which she was presented with a bamboo wine cooler:

Save_America1st's picture the infamous words of Forrest Gump:  Stupid is as stupid does

And also, and as always...everyone in the south knows the famous last words of any redneck:  Hey ya' this!!!


case in point:

A Nanny Moose's picture


You are correct in pointing out that there were surely alcohol and/or drugs involved. This is my story and I am sticking to it, simply because it keeps me from giving up on human doings.

SilverIsKing's picture

He should have gone for the double breasted vest. Not in style these days but making a comeback in South Carolina.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

In fairness to her, the victim did in fact ask her to shoot him.

DaddyO's picture

Ya, but she limp wristed the shot and hit him above the vest.


edit: Judging from the down votes, no one read the source article and haven't shot with inexperienced female shooters.

worbsid's picture

She needs more range time. 

Grande Tetons's picture

When somebody is that dense....we can safely dispense with the word, victim. 

Your honor, my client has been charged has been charged with conspiracy to commit murder....upon himself. 

ebworthen's picture


And I'd bet this happens five times a week.

This dude just picked the wrong:  vest, gun, girl.

CheapBastard's picture


Charge her with what?

Reckless stupidity?

I'd hate to be the DA prosecuting that case...massive waste of taxpayer money.

A Nanny Moose's picture

All taxpayer money is, by definition, wasted.

jeff montanye's picture

some is more wasted than other (as in the garage).

i'd rather have I-95 and teflon than the ukraine operation and the war on drugs.

BrosephStiglitz's picture

Yeah.. what a shitshow.  It's like a "who is the biggest retard competition".

Contestant A (dead guy): finds outdated and potentially faulty defensive equipment and wants someone to voluntarily use a lethal weapon on him.

Contestant B (woman):  voluntarily uses a potentially lethal weapon  on him.

Contestant C (court): decides to spend massive amounts of taxpayer money to in legal fees and imprisonment over these 'tards.

Well I guess somebody benefitted right (lawyers)? 

NOZZLE's picture

Sounds like the scene from trading places. 

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Reading all the Darwin awards of yore really is entertaining. As a microbiologist my favorite one was the man that masturbated on some machinery which promptly ripped off his genitals. Horrified and not willing to admit how this had happened, he closed the gaping wound with a staple gun and hoped for the best. The resulting infections were presented in many a seminar as a case study. Stupidity can be quite educational at times.

Shooting someone in a bullet proof vest is just... well... sad.


tenpanhandle's picture

The pic of the girl should be proof enough.  Looks just like my sister-in-law from south carolina.  She'll shoot you before you ask.

BigJim's picture

  As a microbiologist my favorite one was the man that masturbated on some machinery which promptly ripped off his genitals.

Well, some of the German stuff  is quite sexy.

StychoKiller's picture

Next time, use a nail gun!