Thursday (Un)Humor: Bulletproof-Vest-Wearing Man Yells "Shoot Me"; Is Killed

Tyler Durden's picture


Who could have seen this coming? USA Today reports deputies have charged an 18-year-old South Carolina woman with the fatal shooting of a male friend who had donned a bulletproof vest and allegedly asked her to "shoot me."


As USA Today reports,

Deputies have charged an 18-year-old South Carolina woman with the fatal shooting of a male friend who had donned a bulletproof vest and allegedly asked her to "shoot me," according to local media.


The killing occurred Wednesday in Honea Path, S.C., after 25-year-old Blake Randall Wardell discovered the old vest in a garage where he had been hanging out with friends, WYFF-TV reports.


Anderson County deputy coroner Don McCown said Wardell asked Taylor Ann Kelly to "shoot me," the TV station reports.


Kelly allegedly fired a small caliber weapon at Wardell, but the bullet went through the edge of the vest and into his heart, McCown said.


McCown said there were as many as 10 other people at the home at the time. He said no evidence at the scene of a fight or struggle, The State newspaper reports.


"It wasn't a fight. They were actually going to take a shot at the vest," McCown said, according to the newspaper. "They were going to shoot the victim with the vest on. And he was shot in the chest, just above the vest."


He said the vest appeared to be 10 or 15 years old.


Wardell died at the scene despite attempts to apply CPR, WYFF reports.


Kelly was charged with involuntary manslaughter, which carries a five-year prison term upon conviction.

And that is America... (at least she didn't shoot him in the face)

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Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:18 | 4765091 tmosley
tmosley's picture

"Hey, let's make a bulletproof vest that leaves the heart exposed!"

Sounds like the same guys who designed our financial system.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:24 | 4765108 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Never underestimate the stupidity of our indoctrinated, uneducated youth.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:26 | 4765117 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

That goes double for the free thinking, educated adults. 

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:29 | 4765124 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

And this year's Darwin Award goes to!......


Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:34 | 4765143 barliman
barliman's picture


Darwin was an optimist.

In this case, I hope her lawyer is smart enough to ask the jury to find her "Not Guilty" by reason of insanity of the nitwit who WANTED to be shot.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:38 | 4765156 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Stupidity is Terminal...


Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:54 | 4765211 Stackers
Stackers's picture

FYI: bullet proof vest only have a 5 year life span

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:03 | 4765232 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Bah!  I got one that's 12 years old.  Works just fine.  In fact, I'm going to prove it right now.  Here, hold my beer for a second.  I'll be right back.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:10 | 4765250 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

here is a good article to illustrate how liquidity is flowing in the economy as the fed winds down QE.


Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:13 | 4765259 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

You have the balls to post up a link to champagne drone service while I sit here suffering from an arterial hemorrhage?  Goddamned 12 year old bulletproof vest!

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:22 | 4765287 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Too bad there wasn't a 'gun free zone' sign somewhere in that garage.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:35 | 4765315 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

My question is: Was the kid working in the financial sector? Banker maybe? Or was he the son of a banker? ...

Hey! don't get mad at me for asking yo! Just closing up the loose remaining threads....

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:44 | 4765448 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

1. man dons bullet-proof vest, is killed

2. bullet-proof vests outlawed as "potentially lethal"

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 06:38 | 4765689 what's that smell
what's that smell's picture

an old vest, beer, a dingy garage, beer, a gun, beer, and a party of drunk white trash...what could go wrong?

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 07:33 | 4765745 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

as stated above, the average i.q. rose significantly.  well, maybe.

darwin awards should be grounds for jury nullification.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 08:02 | 4765798 old naughty
old naughty's picture

"Never underestimate the stupidity of our indoctrinated, uneducated youth. "


But accepting the "bullet-proof" meme is stupid?

At least not his to start with, no?

And I will not touch the education part. Leave that to the gubermint.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:45 | 4766457 Christophe2
Christophe2's picture

Bullet-proof vests are ALREADY illegal in some states (and Canadian provinces), since serfs with guns AND armor are much more intimidating to the cops than obese civilians would be otherwise...

How many people will the cops kill before people start wearing body armor in the street and on the bus?

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 11:23 | 4766652 JRobby
JRobby's picture

I wear mine to church. The parking lot is especially hazardous right after receiving the "sacrament"

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:23 | 4765291 macholatte
macholatte's picture



You can't fix stupid.

Ron White

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 06:30 | 4765684 USisCorrupt
USisCorrupt's picture

Actually that line came from the late Jim White frm KMOX radio, aka the Big Bumper in the Night.

I am really showing my age now.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 23:23 | 4768543 TheRedScourge
TheRedScourge's picture

It looks like someone did, in this case.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:30 | 4765303 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

You two should work together more often.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:35 | 4765316 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I thought he was dead.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 01:32 | 4765500 Serenity Now
Serenity Now's picture

That was funny, you guys.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 05:40 | 4765650 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Tater Salad will never die.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 02:43 | 4765565 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Tis only a flesh wound.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:00 | 4765369 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Now I'm REALLY going to shotgun any drone I see.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 07:51 | 4765778 hot sauce technician
hot sauce technician's picture

Be sure not to skip news of the Queen of Kenya's royal appointment with the Ivy League's national poet in which she was presented with a bamboo wine cooler:

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:19 | 4765263 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture the infamous words of Forrest Gump:  Stupid is as stupid does

And also, and as always...everyone in the south knows the famous last words of any redneck:  Hey ya' this!!!


case in point:

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:57 | 4765469 dirty dolphin
Fri, 05/16/2014 - 02:45 | 4765562 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture


You are correct in pointing out that there were surely alcohol and/or drugs involved. This is my story and I am sticking to it, simply because it keeps me from giving up on human doings.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:18 | 4765277 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

He should have gone for the double breasted vest. Not in style these days but making a comeback in South Carolina.

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:40 | 4765159 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

In fairness to her, the victim did in fact ask her to shoot him.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:30 | 4765168 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Ya, but she limp wristed the shot and hit him above the vest.


edit: Judging from the down votes, no one read the source article and haven't shot with inexperienced female shooters.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:34 | 4765438 worbsid
worbsid's picture

She needs more range time. 

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:46 | 4765175 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

When somebody is that dense....we can safely dispense with the word, victim. 

Your honor, my client has been charged has been charged with conspiracy to commit murder....upon himself. 

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:10 | 4765391 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


And I'd bet this happens five times a week.

This dude just picked the wrong:  vest, gun, girl.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:47 | 4765453 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture


Charge her with what?

Reckless stupidity?

I'd hate to be the DA prosecuting that case...massive waste of taxpayer money.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 02:50 | 4765570 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

All taxpayer money is, by definition, wasted.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 07:38 | 4765755 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

some is more wasted than other (as in the garage).

i'd rather have I-95 and teflon than the ukraine operation and the war on drugs.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 02:48 | 4765569 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Perhaps they had some pronoun trouble...

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 22:43 | 4765173 BrosephStiglitz
BrosephStiglitz's picture

Yeah.. what a shitshow.  It's like a "who is the biggest retard competition".

Contestant A (dead guy): finds outdated and potentially faulty defensive equipment and wants someone to voluntarily use a lethal weapon on him.

Contestant B (woman):  voluntarily uses a potentially lethal weapon  on him.

Contestant C (court): decides to spend massive amounts of taxpayer money to in legal fees and imprisonment over these 'tards.

Well I guess somebody benefitted right (lawyers)? 

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:07 | 4765241 NOZZLE
NOZZLE's picture

Sounds like the scene from trading places. 

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 01:34 | 4765504 Serenity Now
Serenity Now's picture

I think it would work.  

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:07 | 4765384 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Reading all the Darwin awards of yore really is entertaining. As a microbiologist my favorite one was the man that masturbated on some machinery which promptly ripped off his genitals. Horrified and not willing to admit how this had happened, he closed the gaping wound with a staple gun and hoped for the best. The resulting infections were presented in many a seminar as a case study. Stupidity can be quite educational at times.

Shooting someone in a bullet proof vest is just... well... sad.


Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:22 | 4765412 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

pics or it didn't happen!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 00:39 | 4765443 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

The pic of the girl should be proof enough.  Looks just like my sister-in-law from south carolina.  She'll shoot you before you ask.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 06:12 | 4765672 BigJim
BigJim's picture

  As a microbiologist my favorite one was the man that masturbated on some machinery which promptly ripped off his genitals.

Well, some of the German stuff  is quite sexy.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 08:57 | 4765989 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Next time, use a nail gun!

Thu, 05/15/2014 - 23:08 | 4765246 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Hey now. That's science!

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