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Russia Reminds US It's Not Over: Test-Fires Nuclear Missile

Tyler Durden's picture


Both sides have run their nuclear drills (US here and Russia here) and it had all gone eerily quiet in the detente between the West and Russia...until now:


That should wake things up...for the 2nd time in two months. Time to BTFWWIII.

As Bloomberg reports,

Russia launched Topol rocket from site in Astrakhan region at 9:08pm Moscow time today, Interfax reports, citing Defense Ministry spokesman Igor Egorov.


Test missile hit notional target in Kazakhstan: Interfax


Of course - panic set in and so "Someone" - from the NY Fed - decided it was a perfect time to sell the shit out of the VIX ETF in massive size...



As a reminder, this is how Russia was not preparing for a nuclear strike...


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Tue, 05/20/2014 - 13:59 | 4778153 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

Sounds like it's time for our Slapdick-in-Chief to do something stupid.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:01 | 4778171 Arius
Arius's picture

is puting still in charge or not?  i thought he was in china ...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:10 | 4778196 SMG
SMG's picture

For those who haven't seen it, here's the Oligarch plan for WWIII:

Basically make the US look increasingly bad, justifying a Russia/China first strike against the US.  With a new world government winning in the end.

All non-connected and unprepared peasants lose.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:12 | 4778225 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

sure. on the selling point that only cockroaches survive, and politicians...

Putin is selling arms in China. ICBMs are arms... it's a commercial demonstration

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:19 | 4778252 metastar
metastar's picture

Does this mean we can't use Russian rockets to launch Chinese warheads?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:21 | 4778260 Four chan
Four chan's picture

they havent perfected them like we have. test on bitchskis.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:28 | 4778276 Manthong
Manthong's picture

We could consider a self-detonating Chinese rocket and a mysteriously disappeared spy satellite like the W J Clinton/Loral/Chicom deal.

What some people won't do for a lousy million or two in campaign slush...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:30 | 4778306 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

The Russians know that the US media's attention span is.... wait... what was I writing?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 18:02 | 4778994 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

fuck this shit! Come one you bastards! you want to poison me, kill me? come on! i'm ready to fucking jump out from the roof!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:53 | 4778394 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Gotta defend against those Loral MIRV'S.




Every Swiss home, from the mountain to the valley, protects the occupants from blast and radiation and chemical, biological, and radiological agents.


What are you going to do?

Using Water Resources is vital information for those who desire to keep drinking water and growing food.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:58 | 4778615 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

The above document does not have to be paid its available for free on the internet.  Its plans for a Swiss govt rec shelter

Technical Directives for the Construction of Private Air Raid Shelters

you can google that or here is the link to the pdf

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:20 | 4778897 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Thanks. Could not find a free copy at the sources you listed but I am all for free stuff.

For anyone who wants a free copy but cannot buy Painted Mountain Corn Seed, shoot an email to for the  promocode.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:45 | 4778954 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Just do a search in google for the title I gave above and you will see google give you the pdf link in the searches that takes you to the link in the survivalring website.  Anyways besides that he has tons of other docs on survival etc and you can download for free.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:48 | 4779866 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Thanks Cosmos. There is a backstory to that particular document. Back in the 1980's at the height of the cold war, I developed a business relationship with an engineer  who worked for a Swiss engineering firm. It turned out that the engineer was not exactly Swiss. He was a German who survived the fire-bombing of Dresdan as a boy in WW II. He subsequently developed a passion for what would be his life's work - protecting civilians and ordinary people from the horrors of war, even nuclear war. I received a treasure trove of documents from that era that I used in my work. Now, since the documents are not helping anyone lying in my archive, I decided to share them and promote their use. Since my German is rusty, I am posting the English versions first.

The document in question contains pre-engineered plans that would allow a competent do-it-yourself person to construct a safe home shelter. Of course if your pockets are deep enough, you can hire custom designs and construction or take your chance with an off-the-shelf bunker that may or may not work.

Why should we concern ouselves with blast and radiation shelters? I assure you that our .gov politicians in D.C. and in every state capitol have a seat in a shelter. If our leaders are protected why not us? Do they know something we don't?

The scientists who designed the bombs also knew how to protect against them. There is a substantial literature on the subject. For all who are new to this discussion and for all who may read this comment, please purchase a copy of "Nuclear War Survival Skills" by Cresson Kearney. The 1987 Expanded Edition with a Forward by Edward Teller is best. It has a bright green cover. You can inspect an on-line edition here:



Tue, 05/20/2014 - 18:28 | 4779059 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

One of my local nurseries sells painted mountain seed corn.  I can tell you that it is not happy with 107f.  Every single kernel that I got last year was saved as seed, because I figure those were the individual plants that were a little bit better at withstanding the heat.  I have 15 rows of corn planted, with two of them being painted mountain, and I am going to let all of the different varieties cross pollinate, and eventually I will have a genetically diverse population that is adapted to my soil, my climate and my gardening methods.  

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:11 | 4779565 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Good. Save the best ears for seed for successive generations and it should adapt to your local conditions and yields should improve year over year. Make sure your cross-pollinated varieties are non-hybrid and non-GMO open pollinators lest recessive genes sabotage your efforts. All the best for your endeavors El V in your area of operation.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:02 | 4778841 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture


I'm getting 100% germination rates on the corn I bought from you, and I'm stunned at how fast it's sprouting.

I would urge everyone who is interested in growing heirloom corn to check out You will not be sorry. 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:22 | 4778900 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Thanks for the testimonial Meattrapper.

Good to hear from you!


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:03 | 4779752 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Hmmm, 100% lol find it hard to believe

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:11 | 4779917 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

LOL. Meattrapper is down south. I am in Montana. We collided on zerohedge. Seems like we had some mutual interests - simple hunters and trappers.

It is an idea though. I am not as clever as the Bard and don't know how authentic the dramatis personae would be without a lot of practice.

"All the world is a stage..."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:56 | 4778603 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

According to rumour the latest version of the Topol vehicle can drop 3-8 re-entry packages into a 170 mile diameter 'basket', with a circular error probability of under 50 meters per package. How reliable it is at doing that, I couldn't say, but with 110/550kt per warhead, it only has to get it right more than half the time to give you a really bad day.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:03 | 4778424 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Well, the US looks like it has either not enough, or has non-working hardware to fire off on a test range in response.

This does not look good.

I wonder if any of our weapons even work anymore.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:58 | 4778612 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

Probably melted all the warheads down and gold plated them, to give Ft Knox the appearance of actually having some gold.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 19:39 | 4779247 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Hey Russia! Better save some for the Grand Finale!!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:19 | 4778253 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

from your link: "The Western globalists are divided into two main factions: a US/British faction firmly in control of the financial means of the NWO, and a European faction of hard-core leftists, secretly aligned with Moscow, which controls the majority of votes in the General Assembly of the UN."

just a general question: why do we "hard-core leftists Putin-friends" aka continentals control a majority of votes at the UN?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:24 | 4778272 Arius
Arius's picture

because none cares ... and all left or right or whaever just play what role they auditioned for ... just a job

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:26 | 4778283 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

I think that's probably because all of the former colonial states would vote for that faction as a way to "even" things out from the colonial exploitation. Most 3rd world countries and/or former colonies are hard leftist states

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:04 | 4778623 tonyw
tonyw's picture

"hard-core leftists Putin-friends" aka continentals control a majority of votes at the UN

ROTFLOL, the USSA bullies most countries to toe the line or else....

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:04 | 4778429 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Unless or until something breaks (ie a big bank, hedgie, or company) or goes tits up, you will get stupid action. There IS no fear because the banksters have your back. The VXX should be up 10 points.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:11 | 4778223 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

We call him King Putt, and I guess he is "in charge". Puting is spelled "PUTTING". 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:54 | 4778401 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Disclaimer: Long Ready-Mix.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:02 | 4778418 Payne
Payne's picture

Can they only target WASH DC ?   That would be such a relief !

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:05 | 4778190 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

And he will.  It's the only thing you can truly count on.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:09 | 4778213 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

He is so good at if it is planned.



Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:40 | 4778346 topshelfstuff
topshelfstuff's picture
Puppet Masters and Whistleblowers, the NSA Ties - Richard Grove

I know its nearly a half-hour video, but one you won't regret finding the time to watch, and you should prepared to take a few notes. The one thing important I want to point out now is a conclusion R. Grove mentions at the very end, when he explains that America, right now, is acting in a way, Globally, that destroys our reputation and makes it easy for countries to dislike us and believe we deserve anything "bad" that may happen to us

(a wealth of knowledge and I never heard of him before, you'll want to view this)

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:42 | 4778355 topshelfstuff
topshelfstuff's picture

""""when he explains that America, right now, is acting in a way, Globally, that destroys our reputation and makes it easy for countries to dislike us and believe we deserve anything "bad" that may happen to us""""""


I should have added that this is by Intent. You'll understand once you view the tube.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:00 | 4778413 Beard of Zeus
Beard of Zeus's picture

Barry Potter and the Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles of Astrakhan.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:48 | 4778574 lcs
Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:48 | 4778575 lcs
Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:52 | 4778583 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

More importantly where is bathhouse Barry golfing today?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 18:01 | 4778987 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

38°53 N 77°26 W is close enough for a MIRV.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 13:59 | 4778155 redpill
redpill's picture

You mean an ICBM?  It's not nuclear unless it has a real warhead on it, and I'm assuming that's not the case.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4778168 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Its the thought that counts.
Best wishes from Vlad.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778208 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I suggest the SS-25 Topol or 800 KT. 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:30 | 4778305 New Ordnance
Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:18 | 4778677 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

has the said pdf of swiss basement shelter in their archives for free as well as other stuff

or you can just search google for the pdf with

Technical Directives for the Construction of Private Air Raid Shelters

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:24 | 4778904 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Thanks. Could not find a free copy at the sources you listed but I am all for free stuff.

For anyone who wants a free copy but cannot buy Painted Mountain Corn Seed, shoot an email to for the  promocode.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:32 | 4778311 Old Man River
Old Man River's picture

Now that's pretty swift right there

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:34 | 4778330 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Try the Dong Feng 5000 which is in China's arsenal. Now THAT would have a little bit of a sting. We are outside of the Topol for our current location, but the Dong Feng would give us about 10 minutes to get outta Dodge.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:07 | 4778443 Old Man River
Old Man River's picture

Gulp, thanks.


Hail Mary...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:47 | 4778573 Bunders
Bunders's picture

What this thing? Have al-CIAda been playing Street Cleaning Simulator?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:45 | 4778361 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

From Russia With L...aughter

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:24 | 4778273 Sticky Wicket
Sticky Wicket's picture

It was a live drill, but it was a dud. They really hate Kazakhstan.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4778157 The_Ungrateful_Yid
The_Ungrateful_Yid's picture

Bama couldn't be reached for comment, he's busy test firing reggie's missile.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:02 | 4778161 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Russia shoots nuke at Kazahkstan. Kazahkstan says Russia crossed a red line, threatens sanctions, compares Putin to Hitler.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:55 | 4778599 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Did they # it yet?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:01 | 4778163 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

And what's up with Merkel?


That means that behind the scene, there's a growing number of countries willing to go to war with Russia and Merkel is warning them that Germany wants no part of it... which is quite scary. They probably think that Russia wouldn't be willing to launch nuclear war if they were attacked... YOU GUESSED WRONG.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:17 | 4778245 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Russia drains $500 billion/year from its enemies without firing a shot. 

At some point, those enemies will feel the bleeding.  They will have to do something, and it won't be stop buying oil and natural gas.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:21 | 4778685 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Why pay and bleed when they can kill a few thousands and get it for free and charge the locals for their own stuff, ie Ukraine.  I mean Biden's son is on the board, how soon before he becomes CEO lol

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:18 | 4778250 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Good analysis "lolmao500". I have noticed Germany is slowly trying to position itself as a rational actor in the Ukraine crisis, after at first lining up 100% with Washington. As you point out, the reason Germany is now talking differently, is probably because behind the scenes they are being filled in on Washington's plans for war with Russia. A proxy war with the USA funding, arming and training a series of willing dupes. Such as. The Ukrainian Right Sector, Bandera Nazis and various brands of extreme right wing nationalist West Ukrainians. They would carry out a proxy war in East Ukraine, doing their best to provoke Russia into acting to defend the population in East Ukraine. The CIA would step up it's funding, arming and training of Chechen terrorist groups. The anti Russian political parties in East Europe will get heavy funding of their campaigns for office, and the USA will sekk out and arm any and all Muslim extremists that promise to carry out terror attacks inside Russia.

What is more worrying by the Germans trying to talk down the west from open war, is the fact that teh USA really does want war, Poland and the Baltics are onboard with war, and even Sweden is talking war. So I assume that neo-cons have taken over the Swedish military industrial complex, and don't laugh, that Swedish complex is real and well funded.

Germany has seen the US war plans and are trying to stop this from going bad. Lets hope Germany can pull it off, because the US is war crazed at present and Russia has always been the target they most want to attack and destroy.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:29 | 4778285 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Poland and the Baltics are onboard with war, and even Sweden is talking war" told you so, didn't I? Though I would not pose it this way. More of a case of tensing, creating readiness if needed, advertising willingness if provoked further...

Germany, France, Italy and the BeNeLux are all trying to stop the Bold Eagle and the Russian Bear from behaving like two drunks baiting for a brawl

and with enough european countries opposed, it's easier to keep a lid on the thing

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:31 | 4778310 trader1
trader1's picture

and the continentals will save the day, marking the dawn of pax europa.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:35 | 4778332 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I think you are the first Old World Order (OWO) conspiracy theorist I spotted here on ZH

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:16 | 4778673 tonyw
tonyw's picture

in the meantime the oligarchs push for war to profit

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 01:12 | 4783887 trader1
trader1's picture

haha!  thanks for that ;-)

although, i don't think we're going back to some previous order.  

given what i observe, i am optimistic that we're finally on our way to a benevolent and practical one-world government.  and i only see the EU as the capable model to lead change and make a more positive difference on the world.  


Thu, 05/22/2014 - 02:54 | 4783982 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

happy to see you liked the humour. yet... a one-world government? there is a big difference between that and a capable model

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 00:43 | 4787490 trader1
trader1's picture

the tendency in Europe is towards a more centralized governance model.  

i think many don't understand or misconstrue how a "one-world government" might function.  not many consider the benefits such a system would offer in solving some of the root causes of today's problems.

such a one-world government could foster more cooperation of people + states + corporations, common standards, harmonization of processes, and a redistribution of resources to fulfill the basic human rights of every person on the planet, as per the UN declaration.  you solve those problems and you basically set better conditions for world peace.  

this is where i see the EU coming in to take the lead in setting priorities and making the tough decisions that must be made, because who else has the political capital to do that?  


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:41 | 4778352 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

As the dollar status dwindles, Bath House's handlers are pushing him for woar.

TPTB in the USG have fewer and fewer options left...we have seen this throughout history.

"War is Diplomacy by other means."

As they panic, war becomes a gamble worth taking. After all, they will be secure in DUMBs while the rest of us become nuclear toast.

The obsession to hold power at the expense of the US People is...Evil in its purest form.

Hedge accordingly.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:07 | 4778631 tonyw
tonyw's picture

reported today,  Ukrainian MPs call for immediate troop withdrawal from country’s east.

how dare the puppets defy their Amerikan overlords, don't they understand they are to be willing sacrifices, debt slaves to the MIC?

it's high time eurasia figured out they would be better off without Amerika's boot on their neck.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:45 | 4778343 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

The MSM propaganda has been carried out with such a single coordinated voice it's like nothing I have seen before.

They certainly want a major conflict of some sort to develop badly although I seriously doubt anyone wants this thing to go nuclear... especially the Europeans.

Unfortunately it's an all or nothing gambit at this point and even if they manage to subdue or isolate Russia I think China and India are fully aware that they are next in line.

I am reminded of the quote... "When you want something in the worst possible way that is precisely how you will get it..."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:41 | 4778758 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

I agree Jack, Europe looks with great hunger at Russias natural resources and territory, this time it will be all of Europe going to war with Russia, you cant run an economy only on ageing american tourists, they need raw natural resources.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:47 | 4778760 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:41 | 4778761 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

I agree Jack, Europe looks with great hunger at Russias natural resources and territory, this time it will be all of Europe going to war with Russia, you cant run an economy only on ageing american tourists, they need raw natural resources.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:41 | 4778762 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

I agree Jack, Europe looks with great hunger at Russias natural resources and territory, this time it will be all of Europe going to war with Russia, you cant run an economy only on ageing american tourists, they need raw natural resources.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:41 | 4778763 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

I agree Jack, Europe looks with great hunger at Russias natural resources and territory, this time it will be all of Europe going to war with Russia, you cant run an economy only on ageing american tourists, they need raw natural resources.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:41 | 4778764 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

I agree Jack, Europe looks with great hunger at Russias natural resources and territory, this time it will be all of Europe going to war with Russia, you cant run an economy only on ageing american tourists, they need raw natural resources.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:47 | 4778765 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:35 | 4778334 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Remember Back Door Barry's first Euro appearance?  By the Brandenburg Gate?

The central, deep European Powers TB run this guy.......don't they?

The Plot Thickens. TPTB have given him orders....but:

"H- Hello?"

"Hello, Barry. It is Vlad. Time for a game of Solitaire..."

"Yesss, solitaire....."

"Do you see the Red Queen?"

"Hillary is New York."

"No, the other Red Queen- in the cards..."


"What did TPTB tell you.. reveal to me their nefarious plans."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:36 | 4778743 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

It's the Anglo-American Alliance that's opposed to having Germany rise to European economic dominance.  A strong Germany means an attractive financial center in Frankfurt, and a level-headed Germany is bad for their own MIC but good for Germany's MIC.  Russia and China should keep buying German weapons, just to keep Germany neutral.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:42 | 4778769 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Very true, the Russians left Germany long ago after fall of Berlin wall, ask yourself why the Americans stuck around??????

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 19:26 | 4779203 Aussie V
Aussie V's picture

Where does Merkel make that statement??? Because I can't find it anywhere on the Net except, the "Godlike Productions" website that educates the loony fringe to become more loony and, if you try and read that article, you get a message that you are banned even though I've never been on that website. Question why you are banned and you get an email where they charge you $100 for membership.

If Merkel said it elsewhere please state it but, I think she said squat!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4778167 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

All is well. Obama's containment strategy is working like clockwork.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:05 | 4778188 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Yeah - he's pretty much got us boxed in.

Put a bow on it.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:48 | 4778374 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Coo-Coo clockwork if you ask me...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:00 | 4778169 km4
km4's picture

No worries because the Bama Green Lantern will be to the rescue ;-)

The Green Lantern Theory of the Presidency, explained via @voxdotcom

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:01 | 4778173 Smiley
Smiley's picture

This is no big deal; there is nothing to worry about, just ask Baghdad Bob...err, I mean Jay Carney.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:02 | 4778176 jubber
jubber's picture

Meanwhile unnoticed Nikkei futures fall through 14k

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:04 | 4778185 STG5IVE
STG5IVE's picture

S&P is now climbing

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:06 | 4778191 b_thunder
b_thunder's picture

"RUSSIA SAYS TEST MISSILE HIT NOTIONAL TARGET"  Really?   Every military test launch "hits" it s target, but 2 out of every 3 commercial or military satellite launches explode, implode, fall apart, fail to separate from 2nd and 3rd stages, or simply burn on the launch pad. 

It's called "Trust, but verify." And Russia (naturally) won't release any launch details.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778204 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

"2 out of every 3 commercial or military satellite launches explode, implode, fall apart, fail to separate from 2nd and 3rd stages, or simply burn on the launch pad. "

I trust you, but could you verify that with a link?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:52 | 4778389 potato
potato's picture

in 2012 only 6 out of 78 launches failed. 2 out of 11 Proton launches failed

in 2013 only 3 out of 81 launches failed. 1 out of 10 proton launches failed.

Russia had 31 launches and only 1 failed in 2013, vs 19 and 0 for USA.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:18 | 4778888 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

As an established net.kook, b_thunder can be ignored or mocked, depending on one's mood, but trusting him/her is not well advised.

As for launch statistics:

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:10 | 4778217 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Don't expect anyone to fess up to a miss with an ICBM, ever.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:48 | 4778368 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I remember an episode of Gilligan's Island when a warhead landed in their compound. The US and USSR were in a missile competition. The USA claimed their missile hit within 2 feet of its target. The Russians immediately responded Their missile hit within 14 inches of its target.

Of course, the Russian dummy warhead was way off, having landed on top of Gilligan.

Neither side will ever reveal its screw-ups.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:09 | 4778860 TheMeatTrapper
TheMeatTrapper's picture

Best TV show in history if you ask me. Nothing else even comes close. 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:15 | 4778240 RhoneGSM
RhoneGSM's picture

I am pretty sure that close is good enough when you are lobbing thermo nuclear devices

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:31 | 4778308 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

When was the last time the USSA tested an ICBM? Video games and computer simulations don't count...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:48 | 4778380 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Bath House had them decommissioned as an environmental threat to the Montana Field Mouse.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:03 | 4778425 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

probably closer to the truth than should be allowed

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:59 | 4778412 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Someone posted a link to an IG report on US nuke warheads
on ZH last year.
Bottom line was that only 50% of US warheads might not be duds.If that carries thru to launch vehicles,there may be no US deterrent.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:07 | 4778835 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

1,550 New START Treaty limit on deployed strategic warheads, which counts the actual number of warheads on deployed ICBMs and SLBMs plus one warhead for each deployed nuclear-capable bomber. This limit takes effect in February 2018.  

1,585 Number of warheads on deployed U.S. ICBMs and SLBMs plus number of warheads counted for deployed U.S. nuclear-capable bombers as of March 1, 2014 (the New START limit is 1,550).

 1,800-1,850 Estimated number of warheads on deployed U.S. ICBMs and SLBMs plus the number of nuclear bombs and air-launched cruise missiles at bases for deployed U.S. nuclear-capable bombers once the United States reaches the New START limit of 1,550 deployed warheads. The difference reflects the fact that, while New START counts all warheads on deployed ICBMs and SLBMs, it only attributes each deployed nuclear-capable bomber as one warhead, when the bombers can carry many more.  

2,700 Estimated number of U.S. nuclear weapons that have been retired from the stockpile and are awaiting dismantlement. There is a significant backlog in dismantling weapons.

3,200 Number of U.S. non-strategic nuclear weapons deployed forward in the Pacific region—Okinawa, South Korea, Guam, the Philippines and Taiwan—at their peak in 1967. The number began to decline after 1967, falling to 1,200 by 1977. The last forward-deployed nuclear weapons in the Pacific region were withdrawn in 1991.

4,650 Estimated total number of nuclear weapons—strategic and non-strategic, deployed and non-deployed—in the U.S. nuclear stockpile as of January 2014 (does not count an additional 2,700 retired weapons that await dismantlement).

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:43 | 4778946 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Not that one but thanks.
It was a technical analysis of component degradradation
over the long term.Mainly electronics.
Upgrading just allows Chinese chips(with backdoors) into the
warheads, also possibly neutralizing them.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 19:09 | 4779153 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I tried hard to find it. No luck.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:42 | 4778771 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

They gave the Chinese the coordinates of the Notional Target.  Didn't you get the memo?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778203 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Everything is going to be hair-trigger soon if not already.  The Nobel prize winner spreading peace and prosperity in Syria, Ukraine and this world. Give him another.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:12 | 4778222 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

You forgot Lybia, Egypt, Iraq and Thailand.  There are probably more on the list too.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:57 | 4778407 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Turkey, Argentina, Venezuela, Pakistan, Afghanistan...soon the list will be "places that are not knee deep in civil unrest".

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:09 | 4778641 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

If you made a jeopardy category of "places that are not knee deep in civil unrest" do you think you could make a whole column out of it?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:47 | 4778788 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

This is the peninsula where a referendum vote sealed the re-admittance to Russia.

What is Crimea?

200 and she has the board...ready...GO.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:45 | 4778784 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Kirk is all for spreading peace in Labia.  Especially if I ran Thai land.

;-)  ;-)

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778205 davidalan1
davidalan1's picture

How are those sanctions working out?  oh, lest i forget the  verbal threats.. 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778206 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Meanwhile back in the U.S, we've forgotten how to build a rocket, and there is a good possiblity that our ICBMs are worthless.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:11 | 4778220 Postal
Postal's picture

Pehaps the missiles are, but the bunkers make wonderful kinky sex dungeons. Or so I've been told.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:18 | 4778478 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I suspect the Bath House has intentionally disarmed every strategic missile we have.

Why else the turmoil in the US Rocket Forces, with all those officers canned?

I suspect the plan is to completely disarm the US Forces so as to enable foreign invasion "to restore order."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778209 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Hahaha, Backdoor Barry, I can fire my missiles with this remote control all the way from China!"

Backdoor: "slurp slurp."

Reggie: "Ah, that's the spot."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:08 | 4778211 jubber
jubber's picture

Time for a swift rise in VISA and anothe Gold and Silver smack?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:13 | 4778227 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

The computers don't care about ICBMs, most of the important ones are way underground. Now an EMP blast might get their attention

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:13 | 4778228 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     I wonder if that's the Russian Christmas/holiday card photo to TOTUS and Horsehead this year?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:16 | 4778241 Uncertain T
Uncertain T's picture

... Meanwhile, inside a 3 room apartment next door to NSA data center in Frostbite Falls, MN....

Boris:  Natasha come quickly!

Natasha: What is it darling?

Boris: Do my eyes deceive me?

Natasha: (defiantly)  Your eyes would not dare to do it.

Boris: Is encrypted message from Fearless Leader Vlad.

Natasha: What does it say boopski darling?

Boris: Is foolproof secret KGB plan to install Moose and Squirrel as pupet USA government and steal all USA gold. 

Natasha:  Foolproof?  Is KGB

Boris: No plan has been tested by CIA in Kiev.... it worked for them it can work for us.

NARATOR:  Stay tuned for our next episode... Baby it's Gold Outside... or Sanction This!



Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:09 | 4778643 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

They just don't do cartoons like they used to. Ren & Stimpy tried, but the flouride has worked it's magic.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:20 | 4778259 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture
Who Is The New Secret Buyer Of U.S. Debt?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 16:13 | 4778659 Kayman
Kayman's picture

 Bill of Rights

"The elites don’t want to hide behind the curtain anymore. They want recognition. They want to be worshiped. And, it all begins with secret buyout of America..."

Good read, until the end. The correct words are, " the open sell-out of America."


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:22 | 4778263 STG5IVE
STG5IVE's picture

Nothing is over:

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:22 | 4778264 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Vladdie boy shud lob a few ICBM's over Israel. That should cheer them up!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:23 | 4778271 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

With the Smirnoff's logo tagged along the side, you can tell it's a Russian missile.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:24 | 4778275 Hindenburg...Oh Man
Hindenburg...Oh Man's picture

2 pm stick save.....NASDAQ has been up ever since. Maybe the ICBM helped?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:25 | 4778282 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

So we are, as always, one bad bottle of Tequila away from all-out war in Russia & China

This market is so close to going away and not coming back I can taste it and all that printed fiat will be for naught.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:27 | 4778284 silentboom
silentboom's picture

Can you miss with an ICBM?  As long as you hit the right contintent you should be ok.

"Oh shit, sorry Auzzies, our bad."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:39 | 4778344 nje
nje's picture

you can miss. counter measures may blow out the icbm's propulsion causing the icbm to fall short of its target.

this could be a grave threat for canada if US and Russia want to play that game over the artic, every successful counter measure could mean a new crater for canada.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:27 | 4778290 WMM II
WMM II's picture

i've been reading about the wwiii this week or next week for decades.

monkey and a typewriter may not be able to write a symphony but it sure can come up with yet another wwiii omg!!! article for a blog.



Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:36 | 4778336 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

Calling for WWIII means you recognize your mark is losing and you are looking to double down.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:01 | 4778415 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

Well, as they say, it only takes being right once

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:58 | 4778986 WMM II
WMM II's picture

not if that once never occurs after always being wrong.



Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:27 | 4778292 Tarshatha
Tarshatha's picture

China's openly slamming it to Vietnam,

Russia's taking Crimea,

Russia and China doing Billions in trade w/o fake USD's,

Time for more do Nothing sanctions or perhaps some hacking charges, Blahahahahahha, what an utter fucking joke.

WW3 is the only way out for such a totally inept leadership. Red shield will be soooo pleased.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:32 | 4778314 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Here's an interesting take on Ukraine that you will not see in the Western press.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:41 | 4778348 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Pffftt...Yahoo tells me all I need. 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 19:03 | 4779133 JR
JR's picture

Quite a find:

“The Israeli-Ukrainian oligarch living in Switzerland, Ihor Kolomoisky, called South-East pro-federalist leader, Oleg Tsarev, to inform him that the Ukrainian Jewish community was prepared to pay a bounty of $1 million to whomever would assassinate him. He ordered him to immediately flee the country.” – Voltaire Network  (The federalists are those who want either separation from Ukraine or federation.)

This recent quote by Kolomoisky fits in with an old quote by veteran screenwriter and former ADL propagandist, Sidney Chayefsky --who was responsible for the deliberate falsehood (lie) that “Hollywood is owned by the Arabs” --in a film never produced and based in Palestine at the time of Israel’s founding: “We kill to survive. We kill so that we and our descendants shall live.”

Chayefsky, who died in 1981, made his mark in Zionist propaganda in the film “Network,” where in his preparatory notes, according to columnist Michael Piper, he wrote:

“The basic joke is that the networks are so powerful that they can make true what isn’t true and never even existed.”

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:33 | 4778322 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

There is an old adage that 5% of the people make up the minds of the remaining 95%.  Actions such as this test firing of a missle is meant to assist the scared in applying pressure to the 5% whom make up their minds.

By his actions, Putin admits he is not in the 5%.  Sitting on the outside of the decsion-makers; Putin shows he wants respect, and a seat at the table.

This approach (by Putin) worked a month ago.  Today, not so much.  Putin is not managing world events and is finding himself moved away from that seat at the table that he so wishes. 

It's clear that Germany is winning this fracas between Russia and the Ukraine.  The USA plays the bad cop, as usual.  Germany has stepped up it's geopolitical game and is playing the good cop.   (That good cop role was usually played by Britain.)  The time series of events are showing that Germany is the leader of Europe.  There is no room for Russia.  German-American relations are being strengthened as we watch this play out.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:44 | 4778362 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Germany is wishing the US would STFU so as not to crater German interests. I can see how you may think a goodcop/badcop scenario is being played, but in the end, the US is moving headlong into economic dire straits and war is the only solution...Germany is playing both sides so when the US officially shits the bed they can go to Vlad and say, "Hey...we thought they were batshit crazy too. We cool, right Vlad?"


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:55 | 4778396 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No way Germany falls on its sword for our Red Queen.

"In the end, Bath House was alone, except for Reggie and his young dancing boys in the bunker. Nobody would take his calls. The spent condoms and crack pipes attested to his frustration."

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:54 | 4778398 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"war is the only solution" ? why? because of all the Neo-Keynesian Broken Windows? Has Dr. Krugman really brainwashed the US?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:31 | 4778520 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Yes. I think history backs me up on where this leads to. As the proud father of two, I am not happy about this. There will be more than broken windows. This is moving ahead like the 1930s. This is the end of the current global paradigm as we are about in the middle of this wonderful Kondratieff Winter of Our Discontent. I think it sucks, but I have no control over geopolitics, just a nice seat in the stands with three other souls under my command.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:51 | 4778391 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

yes, but it's a bit more complex than that. take for example the role usually played by Britain. it was often in cooperation with France, and posing vs America as "Britain leading Europe"... for historic and cultural reasons

on the continent, we have less need for "leadership". it's built more on a consensus among peers. it's very visible in the US diplomatic approaches, too, nothing the US Foreign Department would not be conscious of

in short: it's not all about Germany at all, and particularly not "as the leader of Europe"

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:05 | 4778427 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

I can only speak as an outsider, but it certainly seems to me here in the good ole USA that Europe does pretty much whatever Germany wants (at least for the time being) because Germany is about the only viable economy left on the continent

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:12 | 4778462 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

that's a very common view, so common that it is reinforced by legions of journalists all over the planet

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 15:59 | 4778617 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Do those moose entrails you're reading say anything else.
Only because the exact opposite of your portends are what we are seeing.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 17:54 | 4778976 Rough-Trader
Rough-Trader's picture

Rather, Germany's depence on Russian gas has been exposed, thus, making Germany look weaker, not stronger.

  Futhermore, I don't know if this current crisis will lead to war or not, but it has certainly strated the process of Russia gaining back it's superpower status, and more importantly, strenthten it's grip on the military power in Asia, and further down the road, in the whole world, i.e. over the US.  Eventually, unfortunately, this will end up with nuclear weapons dropping on the US.  I hate that scenario, I don't know how long it will take, 1-50 years, but the process has started and it will culminate in the downfall of the US in the hands of Russian nuclear weapons.

   I regret to say it.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 19:22 | 4779191 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

You regret to say it? I regret to read it...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:34 | 4778323 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

President Purple-Lips will save the USSA.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 14:56 | 4778404 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Who do I have to blow to keep this gig?"

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