Socialist-Motion Trainwreck: France Mistakenly Orders 2,000 Trains Which Are Too Wide For Its Platforms

Tyler Durden's picture


How does the New Normal saying go: "socialist-motion trainwreck"?

In a time before the New Normal "fairness doctrine" where socialized companies such as GM have 60% more recalls in 5 months than they had sales in the prior year, a story such as the following would belong at best to a surreal "Polak" joke. Unfortunately, in this centrally-planned day and age, it is all too real. Reuters reports that in order to boost GDP and to cement that even under hard-core socialism France is still a manufacturing powerhouse, the French national rail company SNCF had ordered some 2000 trains for an expanded regional network from the national rail operator RFF. There was just one problem: the trains were too wide.

And since the local station platforms can not fit the misshaped trains, France now has to spend countless millions and add to its already disturbing budget deficit  in order to repair and construct wider stations. The good news, of course, is that France gets to double count the benefit of the GDP "boost" - first for the screwed up train order, all thanks to some bureaucrat who didn't feel like double checking his numbers, and second to reconstruct all of its incompatible train stations. Surely this is the purest definition of economic "growth."

From Reuters:

A spokesman for the RFF national rail operator confirmed the error, first reported by satirical weekly Canard Enchaine in its Wednesday edition.


"We discovered the problem a bit late, we recognise that and we accept responsibility on that score," Christophe Piednoel told France Info radio.


Construction work has already begun to reconfigure station platforms to give the new trains room to pass through, but hundreds more remain to be fixed, he added.

How could such an idiotic mistake take place: does nobody double check anything under a socialist utopia? Apparently not:

The mix-up arose when the RFF transmitted faulty dimensions for its train platforms to the SNCF, which was in charge of ordering trains as part of a broad modernisation effort, the Canard Enchaine reported.


The RFF only gave the dimensions of platforms built less than 30 years ago, but most of France's 1,200 platforms were built more than 50 years ago. Repair work has already cost 80 million euros ($110 million).

Still, it wouldn't be a story about socialist success if it wasn't someone else's fault: apparently in this case the responsibility lay in the "absurd rail system" changes made by the previous government.

Transport Minister Frederic Cuvillier blamed an "absurd rail system" for the problem, referring to changes made by a previous government in 1997. "When you separate the rail operator (RFF) from the user, SNCF, it doesn't work," he told BFMTV.

There is really nothing more to add except perhaps for this:

Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak Frenchman out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.

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Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:15 | 4779377 Slave
Slave's picture

Now they'll need to widen the platforms.

Keynesianism 101.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:16 | 4779385 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I need a new keyboard. Holy shit that's funny.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:23 | 4779407 Town Crier
Town Crier's picture

C'est la vie.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:25 | 4779416 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

How many gears are there in a French Tank?

Only 2, neutral and reverse.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:28 | 4779424 darteaus
darteaus's picture

French Army rifles for sale!

Never fired!  Dropped only once!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:38 | 4779450 Keyser
Keyser's picture

I think I'm coming down with a case of Schadenfreude...


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:49 | 4779468 knukles
knukles's picture

Economy is in Japanese Liquidity Trap
Economy is in European Planning Stage 1 


What could go wrong?


PS  Don't forget that the Opie&Cie administration is fawning the fuck all over a French Socialist Economics Book that makes Krugman look like a Libertarian

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:49 | 4779484 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

California will buy them.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:00 | 4779531 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Why would anyone double check things when there is no accountability in Socialism.  No mention of anyone getting fired.  Just "well, I guess we have to fix this now."

This is no different than fining a TBTF bank for criminal behavior- they just pay the fine and move on.  INDIVIDUALS need to be fired/prosecuted or nothing changes.  (A fantasy in .gov world, I know, where an EPA employee was recently given his bonus even after he got caught watching 6 hours a day of porn- just like in the SEC a couple years ago).

As soon as you disconnect fucking up with swift punishment, the sociopaths take over and everyone is fucked.  Just like in the US.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:13 | 4779575 spinone
spinone's picture

Exactly. Who got fired for the mistake. It's as bad as American banks and car manufacturers.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:19 | 4779612 Four chan
Four chan's picture

sounds like a shovel ready problem.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:28 | 4779823 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

More like a problem for a nice diamond wet saw. Just cut 12 inches off those platforms.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:47 | 4779993 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Oh God! Not the Broken Train Station Fallacy.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:58 | 4780032 BTFDemocracy
BTFDemocracy's picture

Delete. Joke already posted below.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 02:22 | 4780187 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture


EPA Worker watching porn == goodnews for Corporations


The downside is on a long enough timeline, we are all dead...

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 06:31 | 4780356 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

I worked in France many years ago as an engineer and found they are extemely theoretical in their mind set so as to avoid any one of them actually having to do something real and to then cast blame on a co-worker when it fails.

Asians are much the same in that they don't question authority.

The Russians however expect to blow up two or three tries along the way and consider it just working out the kinks.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 09:44 | 4780930 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

What about the Germans?  Mach schnell?   Ya gut

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:41 | 4779837 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Why are there so many trees on the Champs-Élysées ?

..because Germans like marching in the shade.


Wed, 05/21/2014 - 12:24 | 4781668 Analyse2
Analyse2's picture


Those emitting these kind of silly jokes should look themselves in a mirror and ask for the reason of such an unjustified stale hate

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:22 | 4779624 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

It's not necessarily a Socialist phenomenon.

Have any of you looked at France these days? This country is already half Asian/African and White genocide is committed at full speed.

And since society and culture follows biology the third world population turns France/Europe into a 2nd and then a 3rd world country/continent. South Africa is the undeniable proove.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:57 | 4779709 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, socialist governments (and by extension of being elected, the people) are allowing their "european culture" to be extinguished aren't they?

On the reverse side, that same "european culture" intruded itself into their world in the past, for king & country, wonder how they felt then? Course I'm biased, I've always looked at royal families as the first welfare families ;-)

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 06:49 | 4780387 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

european cultures. plural

yes, you are biased. yet you know it, so it's ok. ;-)

what you are missing is the historic & cultural experience of living on the biggest landmass of the planet, with hordes of invaders right behind the horizon, sometimes factual, sometimes imaginary, yet always there

what we are missing is the historic & cultural experience of living in a New World full of exiting new opportunities, and lots of space just asking to be settled

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 18:32 | 4782933 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Well, if you're including Asia in your land mass equation (and you are) there is plenty of land asking to be settled.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:52 | 4779722 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

You are lonely and ignorant. Assumptions and generalizations are fun for everyone. It's spelled "proof" also. Goodness, retarded people are silly.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:04 | 4779758 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



You, sir, are the lonely, ignorant, retarded person.

If culture doesn't matter, please explain why the African continent, with its abundant natural resources is a shithole of war, corruption and poverty.

I'm all ears...

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:19 | 4779795 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

I'm fairly certain I didn't say culture doesn't matter. I'm fairly certain I was referring to the line: "And since society and culture follows biology" 

This is clearly unsubstantiated racism. Though, I suppose I didn't make that abundantly clear, perhaps purposely leaving my comment open to your predictable argument.

It's interesting that you should choose the continent of Africa when you could just as easily choose many rural towns in the United States (or any other country) - though you would have to replace the word 'war' with 'criminal activity'. And don't worry, whatever your culture is, there are people in the world that think it is revolting.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:00 | 4779900 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Funny how we now use genetics to explain just about everything from disease propensities to intelligence, but once you go so far as to suggest that race (which is most definitely defined by genetics) could actually play into people's behaviors and culture, you are a hater and racist. Funny, ain't it? In the animal world we see people willing to pay millions for the semen of a winning race horse, or prize winning cattle, yet we dare not use genetics to project the behavior of any person, especially if they are of African descent. Political correctness demands we wear blinders, not for the sake of truth but the preservation of individual self esteem. And it doesn't hurt that these protected classes of people represent a significant voting base.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:52 | 4780013 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Good argument.

Rebuttal:  Ben Carson vs Hillary Clinton.  Perhaps they are exceptions but there are a lot of exceptions.  Blacks only make up about 10% of the population of the US but we still elected Obama.  The same could be said about Europe in the past.  They were predominantly white and they voted for what they have now.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 10:02 | 4781005 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Well yes, there are always exceptions, but if 75% of a given group predictably act in a specific way, would we not be foolish to ignore it or otherwise act if it were not fact? We are constantly excusing large swaths of people acting in specific ways because of the "exceptions" and it just seems stupid if not suicidal, all for the sake of political correctness. There is a huge fear of being labeled as a racist or bigot for pointing out the obvious. Because not all Nazi's were evil people, I suppose we should have surrendered our arms in fear of harming one of the "exceptions".  We are so absolutely fearful of offending anyone that we have unilaterally disarmed ourselves. In our desperation to avoid any accountability for anything we are relegating responsibilities to machines and rules that act without direction, removing any personal responsibility. We can send soldiers into combat under threat of criminality if they happen to misjudge a threat, yet send drones in to kill without any conscience whatsoever. We treat our laws the same, where the law is the law and no judge or jury has the power to decide what actually makes sense. No one wants that responsibility. We have descended into madness out of a fear of responsibility. At some point we will all be held to account. Wake up.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:22 | 4779938 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

The other day, my wife had to explain to a female patient that "no, removing the clitoral hood does NOT increase sexual sensitivity," despite what her 'african' husband said.  Sometimes 'culture' is just downright incorrect!

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 09:47 | 4780945 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

Maybe you should do some reading and learning:

Eventually (it might take 50 years), the many many people who think like you in the Western world are going to have to come around and drop the racial equality ideology, because there is not a SINGLE SHRED of evidence that it is based in reality.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 02:25 | 4780189 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

who gives a puck

stop worrying about how 'they' are fracking-up <insert your nation here> and do what your forebearers did... move.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 04:57 | 4780264 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

Trains too wide? No problem, it's just necessary to widen the railroad now. In fact, an ingenious way how to get rid of the French unemployment. And the government had best acquire a subsidy from the euro funds, which can be obtained for free.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:29 | 4779428 Town Crier
Town Crier's picture

Je t'afficherai mes vitesses si vous m'afficherez le vôtre.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 21:56 | 4779741 max2205
max2205's picture

I ordered a Russian bride but her ass was too wide for my furniture. ...what should I do? 

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:21 | 4779799 Volkodav
Volkodav's picture

stop posting stupid crap?

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:28 | 4779820 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

"In other news: internet traffic dropped by 89% in response to one zealous blogging website's commenter posting the suggestion that people 'stop posting stupid crap'...Comcast repsponded by doubling internet fees, citing increasing costs due to the inability to compress the same tripe repeated in various locations."


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:53 | 4780016 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

More like 99%.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:26 | 4779815 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Get wider furniture.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:28 | 4779821 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

That was the joke.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 22:32 | 4779831 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

lots of that in McUSA

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 02:26 | 4780190 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

wide is good


pump it frequently enough and it might just slim down...

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 00:47 | 4780120 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Muchas gracias mi amigo!

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:37 | 4779445 countryboy42
countryboy42's picture

There is one forward gear as well in case some one attacks from the rear.

Tue, 05/20/2014 - 20:47 | 4779481 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

We originally built the C17 to carry the M1 Abrahms, the modified it so it was too wide to fit on the C17

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 02:28 | 4780191 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

"too wide to fit on the C17"


No way, cite proof or be gone from here you crazy person


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:05 | 4779906 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

If you have ever been to Verdun, you would not doubt the courage of the french soldier in WW1.


Tue, 05/20/2014 - 23:55 | 4780026 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Just what the hell was the frog supposed to do?  Anything that moved was killed.  The only hope of survival was to dig a hole in the ground and hope someone can dig you out when you get buried by earth heaved up by artillery.  Nobody was brave - they just had no other choices.

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 16:09 | 4782413 Analyse2
Analyse2's picture

World War I cost France 1,697,800 dead, 4,266,000 wounded (of whom 1.5 million were permanently maimed) and 537,000 made prisoner or missing

— exactly 73% of the 8,410,000 men mobilized

Some context: France had 40 million citizens at the start of the war; 60% of men between the ages of 18 and 28 died or were permanently maimed

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 05:35 | 4784043 homonohumanus
homonohumanus's picture

We still lost ~500 000 people during world war II. It may be more than a lot of the surrounding countries... (even looking at %).

My gran father ended up in Germany for close to 5 years, working camp then farm working, out of his bataillon they were only two survivors...


We lost, and badly at it not that we were the only ones, they are historians that track plots within the high society of people that wanted it that way actually, betrayal or not anyway doesn't change the score.

Yet what tribute do all the counrties surrounding France paid to the war? I'm curious, Belgium, Netherland, Denmark, etc, all those countries that were indexed by Germany too?


I know the score, it is easier to point finger at France than to scrutinize how heroic its neighbours have been, and how heavy a tribute they paid to the war.


American got to look closer to History instead of believing in narratives that sounds more like tales or moral stories from La Fontainre than anything else... actually that is being unfair to Sir La Fontaine...

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