"One day a physicist, a biologist, and Ben Bernanke were sitting at a café across from an apparently empty building.
They watch two people enter and then, later, three leave.
The physicist says, "Apparently there was some error with our measurements," while the biologist says, "Obviously, they reproduced while in the building."
Then the economist [Bernanke] observes, "If another person were to enter the building, it would once again be empty."
Soviet era economist is create five year plan for production and facilitation of sustenance for population. Party secretary is very much pleasing and is approval of plan. Within first year, calculation is show too little production for too much people, so secretary is order Holodomor in southern republic. Now economic modeling is restore and everyone is happy joyous.
"If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions." ~ Winston Churchill
USSA is land of opportunity and diversity, is elect first gay president, is elect first religious diverse president, and is even elect first foreign president. Maybe is some day elect first real black president.
There is nothing wrong with their intellect, look at their lifestyles, they seem to be doing just fine, they also are spotted frequently golfing and socializing with the elite.. But that has nothing to do with their professional life, they always stay neutral and defend only what is good for the people!!
OK, sometimes they make a few honest mistakes and a few hundred billion end up with the ones who are already loaded. And most of the times their predictions are wrong, but hey, there are way to many unknown variables that can create a butterfly effect.. So even when theory is perfect, practise can turn out different..
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a practical economist, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
I know plenty of economist jokes.. I am also an economist :/
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist are all applying for a job position. One by one the interviewer calls each applicant into the room. First the mathematician enters and the interviewer asks his question: "What is two plus two?" "Four", replies the mathematician. "Are you certain?" "Yes, it is, and will always be four."
Next the accountant enters the room: "What is two plus two?" "Four", proclaims the accountant. "Are you sure?" "Well, there may be some variability, but on average it will be four."
Finally the economist enters the room: "What is two plus two?" The economist pauses, shifting slightly in his seat, glances around the room and shuts the blinds before sitting back down. He leans over to the interviewer and whispers: "What would you like it to be?"
(In all seriousness, there are some good economists. Unfortunately they get buried under stacks of zealotry and diatribe that is plugged by the political elite.)
So the waterlevel in your pool is dropping every day and you invite a team of pro's to come and check it and provide a solution. Then the pro's explain you their 'solution" one by one:
Number 1 proposes -Use 100 buckets to refill it every morning
Number 2 proposes -Use 50 buckets twice the size to refill it every morning
Number 3 proposes - Use 25 buckets in the morning, 15 at noon and 10 at dinnertime
Number 4 proposes - Use a hose to refill it every morning
Number 5 proposes - Wait untill it rains, then it will refill automatically
Economics are dead simple: If Joe wants a new roof made by John, John makes the roof and Joe writes him an IOU (worth of a new roof). So next time John want something done he knows Joe is good at, John can use this IOU to trade for Joe's work.
When it becomes ridiculous is when Joe can't write this IOU, but only James has the power to write IOU's. Now Joe has to lend an IOU (worth of a roof) from James who writes this IOU with his magic pen. So now Joe uses the IOU to pay John.
What happened?
Joe is in debt with James (who has done no work) equal to the worth of a roof + interest John has a IOU equal to the worth of a roof. Joe has to work for James to repay the IOU (worth one roof + interest)
So John has worked hard to provide Joe with a new roof, Joe is breaking his back doing work for James.
And James is best of, doing no work at all but getting Joe to work for him with a strike from his magical IOU pen.
One could say 2 slaves and one master were created, with the power of writing IOU's
Now James can control the economy of their little community, since only he can write IOU's. If he wants a economic boom, he will write IOU's easily without questioning. But if he wants to create a crisis, he refuses to write a single IOU, without these IOU's Joe and John can't trade, so all activity stops..
in the first instance, joe's iou is taken by john at 'face' value. no anything but that.
in the second instance, james 'gives' joe an iou but joe don't gots the same face value to give to james that joe gave john in the first instance. if he had he could have given that to james. all james would get were for penmanship, not the ability to magic wand an iou.
now, if joe's iou is worth shit in the first place, shame on both james and john...
Of course it is nonsense, in real life there are thousands of factors to get an economy up and running among huge ammounts of people who don't know each other.. So of course people can't write there own IOU's, nobody would accept them, because lack of trust, so money that is unversal accepted has to come from a central institution. Also in real life economy grows and so does population, so the ammount of mony has to be able to grow as well to make growth possible. But in this imaginary "3 man on an island community" the only limits are the limits of your imagination..
I had to think about that one for a second. that's a good one; I'm going to steal it. It explains what's wrong with statistics as it's usually implemented.
Of course they mean well, but they just make 'mistakes' and are 'clueless', they don't mean to transfer wealth to the riches, but they are just clumsy.
Well, look at it from the economists point of view. You get to watch from the sidelines while your theories are implemented and debate with your colleagues over cocktails how things just need a bit of tweaking to work to the fullest. No mention is ever made of the poor individuals dead in the crevasse. They are inconsequential and just part of the experiment.
It would be better for everyone if they limited their "experiments" to this machine..
First unveiled at the London School of Economics in 1949, the Phillips machine used hydraulics to model the workings of the British economy.
One early demonstration of the machine displayed the difficulties that can arise when monetary and fiscal policy are not synchronised. Phillips asked one of his students to be chancellor of the exchequer and control taxes and spending; the other to be governor of the Bank and control interest rates. Predictably, the policies were uncoordinated and the upshot was that water overflowed on to the floor.
Economists are such pussies! "Oh dear, it appears I've got my stockings wet!"
Now if they want to presume to be "Economic Engineers", they should be put to the same test as Roman Aquaduct Engineers: when it comes time to remove the bracing from each and every arch they've built, the Engineer must stand under the arch. Great way to weed out the incompetent engineers, that.
Or, in the case of the cartoon, it's the fucking genius who designed the catapult who should test it out.
as it is fixed relatively to anything and everything else.
and that fixed relativity is only of a moment called now.
as the universe is in constant change, so too are its individual components and their now relativity. it is those changes in the 'now' relativity of those, from our own relatively fixed to the earth now, that creates the expierience we call time.
Correct. And the Answer is: :"INFORMED PRAGMATISM". No idealogy. Some things need regulating; like Banks, and somethings dont'; etc. etc. case by case; assuming an honest and upright patriot, of course.
Ahhhh, the political cartoonist. Kind of a lost art, although there are still guys like Ramirez who are very good. You can really drive a point home in just a few panels
My thought as well. The trouble with most "political" cartoons is exactly that: they're "political," which means they're dumbed down and filtered to support authorized narratives. It is interesting to browse 100 year old newspapers and note the brilliance of their cartoons. Modern satire for the most part is like modern television: stupid. No wonder people are giving up on mainstream acculturation, aka "popular culture." Banzai's photoshopping can be more incisive than 99% of career "political" cartoonists.
The Fed Reserve currently has expanded the size of the board to where it is so large, it now is able to hurl 290 million people into the chasm simultaneously.
lol. My work involves commissioning complex machines and we deal with practice all the time. The world of theory is only sufficient to design the machine after that all the hard work is making the fucking theoretical monster actually work.
Here is one thing always not taken into account with virtually every design we see even though it is one of the most important effects regarding reproducibility. Hysteresis either mechanical or magnetic. At our labratory people are so in denial of hysteresis it isn't funny. I can't count the times I've heard 'the effects are so small' but if it means operationally the product doesn't come out the end it's a problem at least from a production and operations standpoint. Yet in the models 'there is no hysteresis or fringe fields' etc. hence important known operational and real physical effects are ignored. In fact fringe fields are so important that they have ruined the theoretical use of certain operational elements. Unfortunately there is no money to 'go back' and fix the problems so we work around them.
Obvioysly you need 2 people standing on one end of the board and 2 people jumping on the other end of the board. If you double the load and double the effort it will work for sure. (The Second Economist)
But that's because they're special tension checked, X-ray defect certified, .gov approved economics test boards; serial numbered. (it's a government procurement contract).
The gorge is obviously not wide enough. The solution is to make the gorge increasingly wider. You see, more inflation, err...I mean a wider gorge is a GOOD thing.
Economists are relativists. no matter the outcome, their models always indicate things would have been much worse had they not acted. actually, sounds more religious the more i think about it.
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?" The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
This thread made me think that the only reason Shakespeare didn't admonish the world to "kill all the economists" is because they hadn't been invented yet.
Looks perfectly plausible to me...
DaddyO
An economist is a person who will tell you that if you sit on a block of ice, and set your hair on fire; 'on average' you should be comfortable...
Clearly the situation requires moar leverage...
Ooooh; well-played sir.
[golf clap]
A drunk and an economist fall into a ditch. The drunk says, "How do we get out of this?" The Economist says, "It's easy. First, we assume a ladder..."
"One day a physicist, a biologist, and Ben Bernanke were sitting at a café across from an apparently empty building.
They watch two people enter and then, later, three leave.
The physicist says, "Apparently there was some error with our measurements," while the biologist says, "Obviously, they reproduced while in the building."
Then the economist [Bernanke] observes, "If another person were to enter the building, it would once again be empty."
Bernocchio and Mr. Yellens beards are (were) in tact.
Why do economists carry their diplomas on their dashboards?
So they can park in the intellectually handicapped parking.
http://vimeo.com/67848961
Soviet era economist is create five year plan for production and facilitation of sustenance for population. Party secretary is very much pleasing and is approval of plan. Within first year, calculation is show too little production for too much people, so secretary is order Holodomor in southern republic. Now economic modeling is restore and everyone is happy joyous.
If only Kondratieff had such an easy time at it.
Shout out to John Maynard Keynes:
"If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions." ~ Winston Churchill
A faggot, a Muslim, a Kenyan and an idiot walk into a bar.
The bar tender says "What will you have, Mr. President?"
WARNING: Clicking an upvote to the above comment automatically sequences you on Tuesday mornings Presidential "Kill List"
USSA is land of opportunity and diversity, is elect first gay president, is elect first religious diverse president, and is even elect first foreign president. Maybe is some day elect first real black president.
> Carter in black-face
> Four maor years
Worth it
A downvote gets you a genuine reproduction of a Soviet Army winter cap pin, autographed by Putin's autopen.
To get 0 out of 4 tells me that your level of stupidity is tremendous!
Soviet Era "Consumer" A: Comrade, is this queue for buying of meat?
Soviet Era "Consumer" B: Nyet, Comrade, this is queue for shop that is out of eggs, queue for shop that is out of meat is other one.
There is nothing wrong with their intellect, look at their lifestyles, they seem to be doing just fine, they also are spotted frequently golfing and socializing with the elite.. But that has nothing to do with their professional life, they always stay neutral and defend only what is good for the people!!
OK, sometimes they make a few honest mistakes and a few hundred billion end up with the ones who are already loaded. And most of the times their predictions are wrong, but hey, there are way to many unknown variables that can create a butterfly effect.. So even when theory is perfect, practise can turn out different..
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a practical economist, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
I didn't know any economist jokes. Who *are* these people who know economist jokes?!?
(And I'm someone who knows an architect joke. Bet you don't know an architect joke.)
I found one:
An architect, a philosopher, a biologist, and an economist were were arguing about what was God's real profession.
The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live."
"Ridiculous!" said the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist."
"Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!"
"Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"
I know plenty of economist jokes.. I am also an economist :/
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist are all applying for a job position. One by one the interviewer calls each applicant into the room.
First the mathematician enters and the interviewer asks his question:
"What is two plus two?"
"Four", replies the mathematician.
"Are you certain?"
"Yes, it is, and will always be four."
Next the accountant enters the room:
"What is two plus two?"
"Four", proclaims the accountant.
"Are you sure?"
"Well, there may be some variability, but on average it will be four."
Finally the economist enters the room:
"What is two plus two?"
The economist pauses, shifting slightly in his seat, glances around the room and shuts the blinds before sitting back down.
He leans over to the interviewer and whispers:
"What would you like it to be?"
(In all seriousness, there are some good economists. Unfortunately they get buried under stacks of zealotry and diatribe that is plugged by the political elite.)
Double post
Teach a parrot to say 'supply and demand' and you have created an economist. When you get tired of the repetitive bullshit, shoot the parrot.
So the waterlevel in your pool is dropping every day and you invite a team of pro's to come and check it and provide a solution. Then the pro's explain you their 'solution" one by one:
Number 1 proposes -Use 100 buckets to refill it every morning
Number 2 proposes -Use 50 buckets twice the size to refill it every morning
Number 3 proposes - Use 25 buckets in the morning, 15 at noon and 10 at dinnertime
Number 4 proposes - Use a hose to refill it every morning
Number 5 proposes - Wait untill it rains, then it will refill automatically
Can't do carpenter but can do accountant.
Q: What does an accountant do about constipation?
A: He works it out with a pencil.
that's like, soo 9th grade.
So easy even a Keynesian can do it.
When will it be our turn to decide who stands on the plank?
So Captain Barbossa is, in fact, an economist?
Sure!
Economics are dead simple: If Joe wants a new roof made by John, John makes the roof and Joe writes him an IOU (worth of a new roof). So next time John want something done he knows Joe is good at, John can use this IOU to trade for Joe's work.
When it becomes ridiculous is when Joe can't write this IOU, but only James has the power to write IOU's. Now Joe has to lend an IOU (worth of a roof) from James who writes this IOU with his magic pen. So now Joe uses the IOU to pay John.
What happened?
Joe is in debt with James (who has done no work) equal to the worth of a roof + interest
John has a IOU equal to the worth of a roof.
Joe has to work for James to repay the IOU (worth one roof + interest)
So John has worked hard to provide Joe with a new roof, Joe is breaking his back doing work for James.
And James is best of, doing no work at all but getting Joe to work for him with a strike from his magical IOU pen.
One could say 2 slaves and one master were created, with the power of writing IOU's
Now James can control the economy of their little community, since only he can write IOU's. If he wants a economic boom, he will write IOU's easily without questioning. But if he wants to create a crisis, he refuses to write a single IOU, without these IOU's Joe and John can't trade, so all activity stops..
fun.
but utter and complete nonsense.
in the first instance, joe's iou is taken by john at 'face' value. no anything but that.
in the second instance, james 'gives' joe an iou but joe don't gots the same face value to give to james that joe gave john in the first instance. if he had he could have given that to james. all james would get were for penmanship, not the ability to magic wand an iou.
now, if joe's iou is worth shit in the first place, shame on both james and john...
:)
Of course it is nonsense, in real life there are thousands of factors to get an economy up and running among huge ammounts of people who don't know each other.. So of course people can't write there own IOU's, nobody would accept them, because lack of trust, so money that is unversal accepted has to come from a central institution. Also in real life economy grows and so does population, so the ammount of mony has to be able to grow as well to make growth possible. But in this imaginary "3 man on an island community" the only limits are the limits of your imagination..
You're a very dangerous man. and very entertaining.
And statistically speaking the average person has one testicle and one ovary.
I had to think about that one for a second. that's a good one; I'm going to steal it. It explains what's wrong with statistics as it's usually implemented.
Is that Paul Krugman?
doing the same over again, because it works is equally insane. nothing works all the time..
Of course they mean well, but they just make 'mistakes' and are 'clueless', they don't mean to transfer wealth to the riches, but they are just clumsy.
Just......need.....MOAR!
Well, look at it from the economists point of view. You get to watch from the sidelines while your theories are implemented and debate with your colleagues over cocktails how things just need a bit of tweaking to work to the fullest. No mention is ever made of the poor individuals dead in the crevasse. They are inconsequential and just part of the experiment.
Miffed;-)
ceteris paribus mortem
It would be better for everyone if they limited their "experiments" to this machine..
First unveiled at the London School of Economics in 1949, the Phillips machine used hydraulics to model the workings of the British economy.
One early demonstration of the machine displayed the difficulties that can arise when monetary and fiscal policy are not synchronised. Phillips asked one of his students to be chancellor of the exchequer and control taxes and spending; the other to be governor of the Bank and control interest rates. Predictably, the policies were uncoordinated and the upshot was that water overflowed on to the floor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_-uGHWz_k0
Economists are such pussies! "Oh dear, it appears I've got my stockings wet!"
Now if they want to presume to be "Economic Engineers", they should be put to the same test as Roman Aquaduct Engineers: when it comes time to remove the bracing from each and every arch they've built, the Engineer must stand under the arch. Great way to weed out the incompetent engineers, that.
Or, in the case of the cartoon, it's the fucking genius who designed the catapult who should test it out.
Good riddance, idiot. NEXT!
I heartily recommend 'Making Money' by Terry Pratchett, if one wishes to better understand this.
I'm for implementing this machine.
~"doing the same over again, because it works is equally insane. nothing works all the time.."~
Horseshit. Does not the sun rise in the east?
Sample size not large enough
You might want to check the sun rising in the east thing; I am told, but cannot personally confirm, that the earth turns into the rays of the sun.
And only until the sun turns into a red giant, swallowing the inner planets.
"on a long enough timeline..."
http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1989/ch890730.gif
Actually, the Earth spins, revealing the sun as it does so. The sun neither rises nor sets, and is relatively fixed compared to the Earth.
Any chance the earth will tide lock before the red gianting?
It's possible but unlikely.
"and is relatively fixed compared to the Earth."
as it is fixed relatively to anything and everything else.
and that fixed relativity is only of a moment called now.
as the universe is in constant change, so too are its individual components and their now relativity. it is those changes in the 'now' relativity of those, from our own relatively fixed to the earth now, that creates the expierience we call time.
:)
It's a little more complicated...
<iframe width="1280" height="720" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0jHsq36_NTU?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
"Does not the sun rise in the east?"
Ahhh... I see there's an economist in the house...
Correct. And the Answer is: :"INFORMED PRAGMATISM". No idealogy. Some things need regulating; like Banks, and somethings dont'; etc. etc. case by case; assuming an honest and upright patriot, of course.
The first FED chairman?
Let me try !
sarc/
When will it be Krugman's turn?
Ahhhh, the political cartoonist. Kind of a lost art, although there are still guys like Ramirez who are very good. You can really drive a point home in just a few panels
From what I can see, they've ALL morphed into either the lefty or righty mode of mockery, which merely depresses me.
If someone were to truly skewer the state, they'd quickly wake up in Gitmo.
My thought as well. The trouble with most "political" cartoons is exactly that: they're "political," which means they're dumbed down and filtered to support authorized narratives. It is interesting to browse 100 year old newspapers and note the brilliance of their cartoons. Modern satire for the most part is like modern television: stupid. No wonder people are giving up on mainstream acculturation, aka "popular culture." Banzai's photoshopping can be more incisive than 99% of career "political" cartoonists.
All you need to know re: Politics...
It's funny how they have become a barbaric relic. We've come full circle.
Banks keep them out of "tradition, I guess".
Big banks use them as gardeners...
They're good at spreading manure.
The Fed Reserve currently has expanded the size of the board to where it is so large, it now is able to hurl 290 million people into the chasm simultaneously.
Way to go, Fed Reserve.
My calculations suggest it's 120million man years per $1T. So it's really only about 1.5M lives/$1T spent.
And people got pissed when a few thousand were killed.
The FED does a few thousand every POMO day.
OldE_Ant
Economy of Scale; one of the basics of modern Capitalism. As Lenin said, "the capitalists will sell us the rope to hang them with".
If you make the right assumptions, it works.
So true; so true. The Luminiferous Ether worked perfectly until that damn Einstein came along and fucked it all up.
I really wish that "deflationary crash" would hurry up. The cost of keeping my family healthy, fed, and warm is killing me.
The real debacle started when some economist discovered balloons...
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Yogi Berra
lol. My work involves commissioning complex machines and we deal with practice all the time. The world of theory is only sufficient to design the machine after that all the hard work is making the fucking theoretical monster actually work.
Here is one thing always not taken into account with virtually every design we see even though it is one of the most important effects regarding reproducibility. Hysteresis either mechanical or magnetic. At our labratory people are so in denial of hysteresis it isn't funny. I can't count the times I've heard 'the effects are so small' but if it means operationally the product doesn't come out the end it's a problem at least from a production and operations standpoint. Yet in the models 'there is no hysteresis or fringe fields' etc. hence important known operational and real physical effects are ignored. In fact fringe fields are so important that they have ruined the theoretical use of certain operational elements. Unfortunately there is no money to 'go back' and fix the problems so we work around them.
OldE_Ant
Standard comment at UTC missiles division; "We don't have time to do it right; so it's lucky we have plenty of time to do it over again".
T hat should be carved over the doorway to the Physics Department. I never heard that one before; it's just beautiful.
Well, the truth is so obvious for all to see: there aren't enough economists!
" there aren't enough economists being catapulted into chasms..." - fixed.
Is that the FOMC manning the catapult?
Obvioysly you need 2 people standing on one end of the board and 2 people jumping on the other end of the board. If you double the load and double the effort it will work for sure. (The Second Economist)
Call Ben and ask if he can take you to the other side with his helicopter.
it's time to BTFD folks!
"sell in May and go away".
And now ladies and germs, This is the humorous portion of our shooowhhh
when even cartoonists figure it out...
I love Wiley Miller's comic series, especially his 'Non Sequiter' series!
He does an excellent job of putting it all in perspective.
Check him out at: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur
Looks like a good idea to apply to Wall St and Fed economists.
Anybody seen Krugman? Tell him you've got a great Leverage Play for him...
The guy who makes the money is the guy who sells the boards..
Is it just me, or can that board clear the Gap? Here you walk across it first.
But that's because they're special tension checked, X-ray defect certified, .gov approved economics test boards; serial numbered. (it's a government procurement contract).
The gorge is obviously not wide enough. The solution is to make the gorge increasingly wider. You see, more inflation, err...I mean a wider gorge is a GOOD thing.
~Idiocracy II: Reverend Upgrayedd's Ministries
The best economists have only one hand because most economist have "on the other hand" disclaimers.
Economists are relativists. no matter the outcome, their models always indicate things would have been much worse had they not acted. actually, sounds more religious the more i think about it.
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"
The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."
Calling economics the "dismal science" is only half correct.
calling economics the wishful science makes the picture complete.
Archimedes would never have missed 'cos he was two nutted!
Not like these Miserly one nutted unbolted fools.
"Gravity, schmavity".
Yah -like the sound of one hand clapping.
Great idea!
As usual its the "other guy" who suffers and dies.
This thread made me think that the only reason Shakespeare didn't admonish the world to "kill all the economists" is because they hadn't been invented yet.
so the first derivative trade was the side bet if he'd make it or not?
You're very cynical.
just calling it like I see it...on the bright side JP "Rock" Morgan said was hedged neutral on its jump book
I say we make Krugman and his ilk do this experiment. Soon, we'd be rid of those nobs.