Thursday (Non?) Humor: A Look Inside The Real Fed Balance Sheet

Tyler Durden's picture


Sometimes one just needs a little translation to see the big picture for the trees...



Source: @RudyHavenstein

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Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:24 | 4787245 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

I am Rob Ford and I approve this message

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:51 | 4787253 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

With all the back-door Belgium bond buying and Europe bailouts, I'm sure the Fed balance sheet is 

many times what they claim.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:19 | 4787737 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Does anyone think for a moment the Fed is keeping track of any of this ?

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 08:20 | 4787969 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

"The IMF has a clean balance sheet"

"We (the USA) have 8800 tons of gold"

James G Ricktards
famous financial author

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:11 | 4787335 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Dear Indian/Chinese/Peoria hired down-clicker. Read what we say as you methodically down vote every post. This applies to you too.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 01:33 | 4787528 mt paul
mt paul's picture

I Rob Ford

will not be responsible 

for any ones debts

other than my own 


[ heck might not even be

responsible for my own ]



Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:24 | 4787246 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Yea baby another boom right around the bend.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:28 | 4787252 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Nice wave.


Fluid Dynamics?


Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:32 | 4787258 Platinum
Platinum's picture

"Roller coaster!!"

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:32 | 4787259 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Loans to Smith College Medieval Studies Majors"

Perfect.  Now I know how I'm going to survive my 50's; a PhD ought to do it. 

Should take me at least five years if not seven, and I can hit on the MILF Social Work Master's students and flirt with them over Pizza and Beer while discussing the parallels between our neo-feudalist kleptoligarchy and the Monarchial/Guild systems.

I'm sure there will be room to throw in talk of cod pieces and chastity belts, after the third or fourth beer.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:37 | 4787271 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

You can probably milk it for ten years. Focus on metallurgy and forging codpieces. Specialization is key.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 01:27 | 4787534 mt paul
mt paul's picture


Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:40 | 4787277 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

I say "Medieval Studies" is kind of relevant, since that's the system we're returning to...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:27 | 4787366 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I've been peppering my conversations with HUZZAH! and forsooth, fortnight and such...I have no idea what they mean, but neither does anyone else.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 08:21 | 4787975 Fuh Querada
Fuh Querada's picture

palladium chastity belts

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 02:38 | 4787576 BrosephStiglitz
BrosephStiglitz's picture

I know a guy who is a legit blacksmithing major.  He will be hand crafting war machines for the local lord with a hammer and anvil while I am trying to scrape together enough for a loaf of bread.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 10:12 | 4788347 Debt-Penitent
Debt-Penitent's picture

Hmm, it will be a loooong time before my Springfild rusts to disfunction. 

Ammo already buried for generations.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:32 | 4787746 H. Perowne
H. Perowne's picture

Road to Serfdom 2.0

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:42 | 4787757 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Yeah.  I'm honing my skills in the fine art of medieval transportation by traveling by sail boat.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:37 | 4787268 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hell, no need to take out a bankster loan when all they had to do was play Dungeons & Dragons and watch Monty Python movies to learn everything they needed to know about medieval studies.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:50 | 4787297 ebworthen
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(link opens in new window/tab)

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:50 | 4787300 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

You can also pick up a minor in Shrubbery.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 03:42 | 4787633 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Monty Python was a subversive terrorist organization of the 1970's, similar to the Patty Hearst led Sybionese Liberation Army that was decimated in the very first SWAT-raid on May 17, 1974.  (It was also the same date that SWAT's ultimate offense was defined as 'burn those fuckers out'). There is no benefit to be gained by informing the masses that simple clowns such as George Carlin, or more organized, foreign terrorist groups like Monty Python or Al Quida (what day is this?  Are they terorists or freedom fighters?) are absolutely, spot on,correct.

And if the need does become so great that we must inform the public, be sure to include a shitload of commas, indented comments, and obstuse allegations.  In other words, business as usual.


Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:41 | 4787280 Pootie Tang
Pootie Tang's picture

Yellen is trying to find a carpet big enough to sweep this under right now at Ikea

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 04:15 | 4787659 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

... but she noticed that the carpet would have to be so damn huge that it is easier to just manipulate the people into believing there is no mess (dirty = the new clean)

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:30 | 4787374 billhilly
billhilly's picture

It brings a picture to my mind of the landfill.  The mountain just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and is filled with rotten smelly trash (treasuries and mbs').

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 08:26 | 4787988 Oleander
Oleander's picture
Do you mean Big Rock Candy Mountains?- " To be buggard sore like a hobo's whore"- 
I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore
And I'll be damned if I hike any more
To be buggered sore like a hobo's whore
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains."
                         Harry McClintock
Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:31 | 4787377 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

But everything is going straight up in price, that is good for the economy right?  

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:32 | 4787381 trillion_dollar...
trillion_dollar_deficit's picture

$4.336 trillion as of 5/14/14


Its the chart that will explain the end of western civilization as we know it to figure generations. 

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 00:47 | 4787494 yogibear
yogibear's picture

If the Fed is following it's member banksters the real balance sheet is a lot larger.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 01:41 | 4787543 mt paul
mt paul's picture

don't forget the 140 bil

of Belgium chocolate....

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 03:20 | 4787611 CHX
CHX's picture

See the tapir ?

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 03:48 | 4787636 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture


I now have a Grandson.

I will kill you immediately at the first threat to his future.

Yeah, I know what you already did to him.

Add anything to it.  I'm personally coming for your ass.

I WILL fucking shoot, or bayaton (it's so much quieter) you in your sleep.

And I'm really fucking looking forward to meeting you!

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 03:54 | 4787643 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

congratulations, OldPhart. tickle his belly for me

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 04:55 | 4787680 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Congratulations OldPhart....and I commend your post. Well reasoned and thoughtful.

I shed a tear knowing that you have that mind set.


I stand at your side - armed to the teeth - locked and loaded.

Private Bailey <saluting>

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 05:19 | 4787699 Snoopy the Economist
Snoopy the Economist's picture

Sure those are the numbers that the fed shares with us peons...but what are the real numbers?

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:50 | 4787770 nixy
nixy's picture

There are two types of debt.

1. The debt we are morally obliged to repay, 'cos some one's worked to earn it.

2. And then there's the stuff we're (they're) NOT morally obliged to repay...... AKA thin air banker credit.

Markets are  destroyed by 2.

Normal safe havens of real honest wealth must be destroyed to preserve the beneficaries of thin air banker credit.

Apolagies for the lack of wit & humour.




Fri, 05/23/2014 - 07:10 | 4787801 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Notice the Rob Ford part of the graph.  How clever.


Another Rob Ford joke - hats off to the dim-witted simpleton who created it.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 08:41 | 4788024 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

A mirage is a naturally occurring optical phenomenon in which light rays are bent to produce a displaced image of distant objects. Joining the idea of a mirage and contagion with the reality of collapsing debt forms an interesting subject.

It is important to remember all debts and obligations do not come due at the same time. Also, it must be noted when a bill is not paid or defaults it often starts a long and drawn out legal battle, this collection process that may extend years without harsh consequences. This my friends is the reality of modern life in America and much of the world. More on this subject in the article below.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 09:06 | 4788125 Rikky
Rikky's picture

discounting the satire for the moment, can the Fed basically hold onto their $4 trillion balance sheet and let everything mature?  is this a viable strategy to stabilize markets and let the air out of the tire slowly?  i would imagine removing trillions even over 30 years would cause some dislocations but i'm no expert in this area so looking for opinions.  thanks.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4788200 wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

seems appropriately diversified

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