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This Is Why Hewlett Packard Just Announced Another 16,000 Job Cuts

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The biggest scandal in today's release of Hewlett Packard Q2 earnings was not that it hit 30 minutes prematurely, catching algos unaware and unable to BTFD when the stock tumbled on what was a revenue miss and 1% decline from last year, nor that the company guided below estimate, pushing its stock some 3% lower in the last minutes of trading.

The biggest scandal was this disclosure in the second quarter results press release: "As HP continues to reengineer the workforce to be more competitive and meet its objectives, the previously estimated number of eliminated positions will increase by between 11,000 to 16,000." This is in addition to the 34,000 layoffs already noted previously, meaning HP will fire a total of 50,000 in the near future.

Want to know why HPQ is forced to fire so many well-paying jobs it once again makes a mockery of anyone who claims there is some economic recovery going on?

The chart below, which compares the company's quarterly CapEx, declining (so no, not increasing as some clueless sellside analyst hacks claim) by 16% from last quarter and down 4.5% from a year ago to $840 million and thus leading to less growth opportunities for the company and resulting in tens of thousands of pink slips, and the soaring amount of stock buybacks, which rose by nearly 50% in Q2 from Q1 to $831 million and by 27,600% (!) from a year ago, the most since 2011, should provide all the answers.

So dear soon to be laid off Hewlett Packard employees, if you want to direct your anger somewhere, please direct it at the company's "activist" shareholders who have forced management to invest not in growth for the future, and thus you, but to reward its shareholders immediately, right now with what otherwise would have been your future salary.

 

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Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:28 | 4786220 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Eating their seed corn. HP is gone.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4786315 duo
duo's picture

Who is gong to buy a printer or computer these days?  A small business?  Good luck with that.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:58 | 4786336 john39
john39's picture

i traded a 12 pack of beer to my accountant neighbor for a HP printer last week... and was shocked to realize that i had to buy color ink, with a black ink cartridge, just to print black and white documents...  wtf?  but it gets better...  also the half empty black cartridge had a chip in it with an expiration date... which is of course past.  so just to get thing to work, i need to spend almost $100 for 4 cartridges of ink...    not hard to see why this company might be having issues.

btw, did go on line and figured out how to buy ink refills and defeat the expiration date... but still, most are not going to go through that trouble.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:01 | 4786345 Rainman
Rainman's picture

go get your beer back.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:02 | 4786348 john39
john39's picture

bastard drank it staight away. 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:16 | 4786399 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Lol I guesss you can have him pee in the snow what you want printed and then take a picture of it and send it as your document.  With that much beer I am sure he is good for a few snow coverd fields worth of Piss Printing.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:17 | 4786407 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

It was a good prank though. You'll just have to get over the fact that he profited from that bit of information asymmetry.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:35 | 4786475 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

The Peeples need to be "Repurposed."

 

Dats all.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:43 | 4786736 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Cue Obozo saying "And I'm mad as hell about it!" in 3... 2... 1...

Hope & Change! O-ba-ma...  O-ba-ma...  O-ba-ma...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:51 | 4786768 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

"Small business," someone above said?  Forget that.  Of the three 'small businesses' I know the owners of,  two went under this year due to postal rate increases, internet sales tax and higher health insurance costs.

I don't see much of a demand for this stuff anymore.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:14 | 4786389 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Look online you can buy replacement ink you inject into the cartridges, walmart has it also. And most printers you can overide the empty cartridge setting by holding on to one of the keys for a few secs, go online and do some searching.

I have a cannon, bout a bunch of refill ink for eight dollars, been using it for two years no problem, and I can overide the empty ink cartridge deal after i refill it by holding on one of the keys.  Works great for me.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:30 | 4786456 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

What keys?--and on the printer or the computer? TIA.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:43 | 4786502 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Laser printer is the way to go, toner cartridge is $72 and lasts 2,500 pages instead of 250.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:16 | 4786637 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Toner refill for $26.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:44 | 4786745 duo
duo's picture

 Oh, and the software default to photo quality every time you hit print.  You have to go through a menu tree to get to draft or another non ink-wasting quality.  I did that for a year, bought a Canon, and never looked back.

Fuck HP.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:57 | 4787306 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I still own a working 24-pin Citizen dot-matrix printer (GSX-130).  They're still used whenever you gotta print out a form with multiple copies, so printer ribbons are also still available, runing around $8/ribbon.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:58 | 4786337 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

I heard that National Public Radio is laying off a bunch of people too.  I guess all that cheerleading was for nothing...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:39 | 4787016 knukles
knukles's picture

All the liberals gone over to Fox ....
(snark)

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:31 | 4786999 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, I noticed there are no longer any Oscilloscopes at Office Depot anymore either.

Miffed;-)

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:39 | 4787009 knukles
knukles's picture

Yeah, but at my local Rite-Aide they now have about a dozen different dildos on sale at the prescription counter*.
Bread and Circuses, Daaahling

 

* With them funny plastic security caps on them the cashier has to remove, like on booze bottles.... "Hey Maude, let's take some-a these funnies and a bottle to the little boy's room before we git our groceries, huh?"

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:30 | 4787375 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

nothing wrong with sexual entertainment. Think of how dealing with those women will be if they're constantly aggravated at not getting it.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:56 | 4787429 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, you may be right but personally, as in all things, I prefer the real deal to second best fakery. ;-)

Miffed;-)

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 07:16 | 4787823 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

I would hope so or that eliminates a heck of a lot of our purpose on this side of the gender divide!

Then again... from personal experience I can say one doesn't necessarily exclude the other. That can get interesting. You ever seen a pic of one of those crazy sybian things? It's like a damned engine. Shake a house. Not a hand-held appliance if you know what I mean.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:23 | 4786427 mt paul
mt paul's picture

GMO

seed corn..?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:29 | 4786224 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

I didn't think HP still had 16,000 jobs left in the US.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:03 | 4786355 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

My last printer was a Brother HL2240.  I bought it for $50 on sale at Staples.  You can buy refill kits for it for cheap.  I will NEVER need to buy another printer, any time soon.

FGB

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:17 | 4786409 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

As long as they keep writing drivers for it for newer operating systems lol

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:15 | 4786393 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

And you can be sure that the majority of the 16,000 are engineers, R&D staff etc. The untoucheed ones will be in sales and Diversity Management.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:29 | 4786454 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'd bet they let go of a number of the engineers and R&D staff, most of whom will never, ever be hired by Google or Apple (they're over 35).

HP will replace them with E-1,2,3 Visa holders from India and China for 1/2 the cost and no benefits.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:27 | 4786677 pitz
pitz's picture

Google and Apple mainly hire over-35 types.   But most of them, are, of course, toast because of all the H-1B holders glutting up the Silicon Valley and elsewhere.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:26 | 4786852 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Whaddya mean "will" replace?  Have you walked around their Cupertino or Palo Alto campuses lately?

They replaced most American-born staff with these visa holders > 10 years.  Even back then the white guys were < 40% of the staff.

I'm all for giving people and "minorities" and opportunity.  But given China's and India's populations, exactly WHO is the "minority"?  Dumbass liberal HR assholes!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:42 | 4787025 knukles
knukles's picture

Yeah, well, white Anglo-Saxon, Christian, English speaking males are now one of the smallest minorities in Kalifornia and you think any "diversity" laws being enforced... Oh Fuck Me No!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:29 | 4786228 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Corporations putting dividends before people?  < shocker >

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:11 | 4786377 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

 LawsofPhysics       Corporations putting dividends before people?  < shocker >

---

We had something like that. It's called unions. Then the unions became corrupted too.

What's even more of a shocker is that one would think corporations would put people before profit and dividends. And aren't those people receiving dividends people? Oh yea, this is a facist society. Corporations are there to provide jobs, not profit for the owners.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:30 | 4786230 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

fucken a, its a recovery

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:32 | 4786237 Muppet
Muppet's picture

Hewlett the dogs out!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4786290 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Numbers "accidently" (?) released by Meg Whitman during a conference call.

http://blogs.marketwatch.com/thetell/2014/05/22/h-p-fiscal-second-quarte...

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:26 | 4786442 mt paul
mt paul's picture

asset deflation dogs

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:35 | 4786238 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

If you no longer actually manufacture....it's all contract...so no manufacturing CapEx....then what percentage would you expect to see...things like R&D (I thought) are Expense....

 

NOT saying that HP is not a POS company since Bill & Dave left...it is....but my question about CapEx is real.

Seems to me that HP is more like Broadcom than Intel.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:51 | 4786316 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

Software and services are no more free to develop than hardware is, so even if HP went that route it wouldn't eliminate capex. However, even assuming the premise implied in your question is correct, it should still manifest as a gentle downtrend in capax, not the worst drop in three quarters.

HP ought to know by now that nobody is buying its junk. Capex is the most important thing for them to spend money on if they want to remain viable over the long term, but they've already decided not to do that. The strip mining of the company has begun.

Another one bites the dust.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:56 | 4786332 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

I have to disagree...development is MUCH less capital intensive (in my experience)....high volume automated manufacturing is not cheap...but to your point I would have expected CapEx to have been relatively low for the last decade...so if it has taken a dive in the last few years like you I wonder why.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:03 | 4787321 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Agilent actually produces all the measuring instruments that Hp is famous for.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:33 | 4786241 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

So the borrowing of the future chart is going hockeystick?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:33 | 4786242 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

HP is the worst ever! I got one of their laptops for Christmas and its total junk, inoperable.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:20 | 4786421 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

You know my family has bought over the years three of their desktops and four laptops and have been very pleased.  They all still run just upgraded for more computing power and newer CPUs.  I would buy an HP over a Dell or Acer anyday.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:35 | 4786247 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Eating themselves alive.No ketchup.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:34 | 4786249 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Remember the last ceo who got fired just after 11 months on the job got a 8 figure severance package. His idea was to divest the core hardware business to focus on software BS.

Meanwhile he had them buy a software company that had to be written off due to its fake valuation. People made billions on it yet nobody went to jail.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:40 | 4786276 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

...and then they hired Meg Whitman.  Goodbye frying pan, hello fire.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:47 | 4786302 Rainman
Rainman's picture

+ 1 Fiorina

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:37 | 4786883 GoldRulesPaperDrools
GoldRulesPaperDrools's picture

I heard Carly didn't know squat about running the company but could suck a brick through a garden hose. ;)

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 02:41 | 4790754 IronForge
IronForge's picture

Failed at Lucent; and presided over a dirty Coup over the Packard Family.  

Some Bad Mgmt decisions just keep cascading down over the years. 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:05 | 4786359 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

"I don't know you, and you don't know me."

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:39 | 4786888 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

HP's core problem is its rotten core:  the BOARD!

Those fuckers are really bad at picking or keeping CEOs, and it is the Board that needs to be replaced en masse.

E.g., As I recall, the GOBs (Good Ol' Boys) ganged up and turfed Carly because her profit stats "were good, but not good enough".  They then hired Mark Hurd from NCR (who was eventually fired for Misconduct).  Mark was supposed to help HP beat IBM, given that NCR and IBM had a 100 year war.  He did not succeed, and was eventually fired for violating Standards of Business Conduct (SBC).  The same SBC crap that everyone else had to "refresh twice a year".  Before he did, he shut down profitable sections that were "not a good fit" or "not profitable enough".  And so on, and so on.

It might interest you that the "grey mouse" among the execs, who made like a fucking Bandit, was their EVP of Finance:  the guy double-dipped on salary while he was Interim CEO, and they were hunting for a new one.  Doubled his salary for... doing fuck all, little more than he did before.  What a cesspool of GOB cronyism!  The Founders are spinning in their graves, while the many descendants are pissing away the Trust Funds in petty squabbles and ego-indulgences.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:35 | 4786250 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

How many of those 16k sheep just bought a house or new car? Pays to have a f u kkng clue what's going on in the world.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:37 | 4786480 Postal
Postal's picture

Now you're just expecting a little personal responsibility.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:36 | 4786252 Devotional
Devotional's picture

shit, HP still exists????

o_O

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:38 | 4786266 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Yes...it's called Agilent.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4786286 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

They are splitting that too, Keysight Technologies, for the test and measurment division.  "tax-free spinoff of Keysight to Agilent shareholders and is targeted to be completed in early November 2014."

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:44 | 4786295 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

Thank You...that is news to me....did not know that...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:36 | 4786260 pods
pods's picture

Hmmm, so if your company was letting go 50k people you might wanna touch up the old CV.

pods

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:39 | 4786269 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

The talk about the lack of jobs has been going on for some time now, but perhaps it's time to approach it from another angle.

When this is how companies treat their employees, who the hell wants a job?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:40 | 4786274 RacerX
RacerX's picture

HP employee #50,001: Please turn the lights out when you leave.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:16 | 4786402 sushi
sushi's picture

The lights have been out there for a long time.

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:40 | 4786278 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

How does Carly' s trickle feel ????

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:15 | 4786395 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Seasmoke      How does Carly' s trickle feel ????

---

Odd question since Carly hasn't been with HP in almost a decade. Maybe you should ask Meg Whitman, the current chief.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:40 | 4786471 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Dunno, some girls have long legs.  Fiorina got the company all hot and bothered, or took on a lot of water.

Funny how IBM made the same mistakes, sold off PC's to Lenovo, whose sales are up 25% this year.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:38 | 4786886 GoldRulesPaperDrools
GoldRulesPaperDrools's picture

Meg's too busy managing her illegal house-help.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:40 | 4786279 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It's really sad what America has turned itself into in the name of fighting "terrorists." The downsizer in chief has much more of this to look forward to as well I'm afraid.

If you don't stand up to them they stand on top of us. Legal arguments brook no quarter with them...and now they're rejoicing as the Generals...and Admirals...get blamed for what clearly was Wall Street's war from Day One.

"The Taliban." Give me a break. Screw you Brian Williams. Your fired.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:44 | 4786296 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

why in the hell the military hasn't turned on these fuckers and their political puppets in D.C. is beyond me.

 

Given our extensive experience in coups around the globe especially.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4786311 rtalcott
rtalcott's picture

The military has not turned on the politicians because the military is very fat and very happy....that might change if they have to fight the Russians.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:17 | 4786410 trader1
trader1's picture

because the military as a whole is about as dumb (and morally/fiscally broke) as the american citizenry who support the current power balance within the political economic system?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:49 | 4787294 Promethus
Promethus's picture

The US military has become a home for same sex couples, single moms and Muslim terrorist allowed to wear the uniform of a once great country. Obama cured me of any residual patriotism I felt after leaving the military. 

 

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:49 | 4787295 Promethus
Promethus's picture

The US military has become a home for same sex couples, single moms and Muslim terrorist allowed to wear the uniform of a once great country. Obama cured me of any residual patriotism I felt after leaving the military. 

 

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 22:49 | 4787296 Promethus
Promethus's picture

The US military has become a home for same sex couples, single moms and Muslim terrorist allowed to wear the uniform of a once great country. Obama cured me of any residual patriotism I felt after leaving the military. 

 

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:38 | 4786484 seek
seek's picture

TPTB have been actively cleansing the upper ranks of men that would take action for the past couple decades.

On rare occasion one sneaks through, but when the time comes, the coup will be supported by someone(s) far away from the pentagon, and their rank won't be general.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:08 | 4786815 r00t61
r00t61's picture

"My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of the higher ups.  This is typical with everyone in the military."

- Smedley Butler, United States Marine Corps, Major General, 2-time winner of the Medal of Honor, 1935

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4786283 Omen IV
Omen IV's picture

i believe this is good.. not bad - adds to the shitstorm 

In addition I would like to see student loans instead of $1.2 Trillion balance currently - go  to $3 Trillion - my understanding a majority of student graduates have no job nailed down after  graduation which is  three days away -  every $35,000 in loans is $1,000 per month payment - with no jobs these people are all kindling for a major fire

the system needs to be on tilt to reach the chaos stage

the kids stoppped the war in Vietnam not the politicians or the military - everyone was on the street from University Place to Berkley - 1A sooner or later and "hell no we wont go" was the standard - let somone else get murdered -

they stopped the draft was the result and the war was over

the kids are the catalyst for major change especially those with an education - no matter how limited

republican or democrat is the same system we need totally different paradym to effect change

kids get it started and the rest of the demographic will follow

blow it up!

 

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:01 | 4786346 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

CIA/NSA will take care of these kids. I expect rather some kind of fake "blow it up" to give more power to the banksters and deep state.

Those kids would have to wake up from the facebook dream, it is not going to happen.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:03 | 4786356 garcam123
garcam123's picture

I concur.

Possibly if things get hot with Russia or they start some shit anywhere else again they will have to have bodies to put guns on.  I believe that young people will NOT report and then the domestic shit will really start to happen, then full on police state!

I never was a big gun person, but I will be standing against a criminal government when the time comes.

 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:06 | 4786364 Cygnus Nigri
Cygnus Nigri's picture

If only... I'll be surpised if the brainwashed socialists can pull thier eyes off thier iphones long enough to cross the street much less rebel. Can't afford your iphone? No prob big O's got free phones for you too courtesy of the few of us still working and the financial future of the US thanks to QE/endless deficits...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:10 | 4787332 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, how well did those former 60's radical hippies support the OWS movement?

Strange how becoming part of the establishment changes you priorities...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:43 | 4786287 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Would be nice to see companies start caring about their people again.  Businesses need to consider all stakeholders, not just shareholders if they want to succeed in the long run.  This is bullshit, but I guess Meg's got a number she's gotta hit...at least she'll be able to consult all those laid off on how to sell their possessions on eBay.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:42 | 4786288 Jack of All Trades
Jack of All Trades's picture

This is just a blip due to the weather. . .

 

This is Recovery Summer v. 5.0 (or is it 6.0??), so I'm sure they'll be hiring 'em all back soon.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:43 | 4786293 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

How many of those 16k sheep just bought a house or new car? Pays to have a f u kkng clue what's going on in the world. Good One, Carpenter1 +10000000000000

4 Rules to live by:

1) True Money is gold.

2) True Money is Freedom.

3) Debt is Slavery.

4) Make sure you have a marketable skill that is in demand.....

Thaaaaaats all folks.....

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:26 | 4786443 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

5) Government is a plague on humankind.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:45 | 4786298 Unknown Poster
Unknown Poster's picture

If people without jobs wouldn't buy your products well into the foreseeable future, then what is the point of capex?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4786308 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Yep - even outsourcing is getting automated.

 

50,000 cut - ouchie!!!!!!!!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:50 | 4786313 Jack of All Trades
Jack of All Trades's picture

Maybe they need to start marketing in Belgium.  Someone's using a lot of printers there. . .

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:02 | 4786347 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

May has been quiet around here.  The concerning part is usually we don't feel recessions hard.  Looking like another subpar month.  Along with Q2 looking worse than Q1.

One other thing to note - I've heard things like "This is the toughest/worst quarter in all my years in business."

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:05 | 4786361 Spungo
Spungo's picture

I'm actually starting to get a bit worried about how much money is returned to share holders. If they could grow the business and make it more profitable, they would. Giving money back to share holders means the company looks at the economy and can't find anywhere to grow.

Think of it on a small scale. Imagine you run a lemonade stand. Your lemonade stand is doing well and the business sits on a lot of cash. If you think there is a market to grow your business, you might hire someone so two people can sell lemonade instead of just you selling lemonade. If things are very good, you might invest in a second lemonade stand to double your cash flow. If there is no market for a second lemonade stand and demand is not high enough to justify hiring someone, you'll pay the cash to yourself as a dividend (because it's more tax efficient than giving yourself a salary raise).

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:12 | 4786380 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

They have a word and half for those details : non gaap

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:57 | 4786566 pitz
pitz's picture

Its better for them to admit they can't grow, than to try and grow and kill margins in the process.  Which is the big problem with most of the big brand-name social media companies -- they can't grow, yet they pretend they can and hoard/destroy shareholder value trying to. 

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:05 | 4786362 Duc888
Duc888's picture

 

 

Hey, don't fret.  They can all get government jobs.....

 

"Communism works. If you give everybody a good government job, there’s no crime.” 

Because we all know how honest government is. 

 

http://dailycaller.com/2014/05/21/dem-congressman-weve-proved-that-commu...


Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:01 | 4786928 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

"....if you give everybody a good govt job....no crime...."

More proof that the politicians are proud of their gangster state....and if you don't agree, a highly paid LEO will break your kneecap.....

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 21:32 | 4787137 Me.Grimlock
Me.Grimlock's picture

Politicians - the Peter Principle in action.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:07 | 4786366 kellycriterion
kellycriterion's picture

PTCs have one foot in the OPM biz and one foot in making real stuff. In this environment extracting cash flow is what they're supposed to do.

Future salaries? Capex? If there are all these wonderful opportunities for making real stuff, STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD. Invest your time and money and ingenuity.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:07 | 4786367 pitz
pitz's picture

There's a video on the Internet where two Indian HP employees are asked about the origins of the name "HP", and say, and I shit you not, they responded by saying "Happy People". 

The company has been thoroughly infested with low-quality H-1B guest workers, at least in the roles that remain in the United States.

The mismanagement and offshoring of HP is a national disgrace.  If Carly Fiorina and friends tried the same crap in China on a Chinese company, they would've had a date with the lethal injection bus a long time ago.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:07 | 4786368 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

as an hpq shareholder i approve of this message

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:16 | 4786406 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Sad, been a customer of Packard Bell/ HP since the heathkit/zenith days when my father spent the money to buy a computer. My favorite computer is my HP intel i7. That can rip time wasting in ms.

Typing on a Dell POS. Two other HP laptop computers are dormat. One has win7, the other has win8. She never uses the laptops anymore. Loves the HP i7 desktop processor speed. Neither one of us play computer games. Getting to one website to another is wickly quick.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:26 | 4786445 fishwharf
fishwharf's picture

Looks as if my boycott of HP is starting to bite.  I haven't given HP a dime since Meg Whitman ran for Governor of California and brutalized the good people of California with an endless assault of political ads.  Thank goodness Jerry Brown won.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:46 | 4786909 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

The good people of California keep returning the brutish Diane Feinstein to office to so they deserve whatever crap they get.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:32 | 4786463 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Stock buy backs remind me of bulimics and people who have to donate plasma to pay rent.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:35 | 4786474 seek
seek's picture

The PC market (of which HP fights with Lenovo now for the #1 spot) is at near free-fall velocity, especially in notebooks where HP made a lot of effort to differentiate itself. The Q1 numbers are down something like 20% on year, ala Q4 2008. And China, the emerging market that had been propping everyting up, is heading down fast.

Ironically nearly every vendor says high-end desktops are doing great. Kids living in basements have disposable income for gaming systems, but businesses of all sizes aren't refreshing, and small busines is dying, killing corporate sales, too. Add in the lost BRIC consumer business and HP is toast, and I doubt Dell or Lenovo are too far behind.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:40 | 4786494 waterhorse
waterhorse's picture

Oh, and here I thought it was due to the incompetence of the overpaid wealth-extracting CEO, Meg "Troll Teeth" Whitman.  She tanked E-Bay, looks like she's doing a good job here too.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:42 | 4786500 ilovemilken
ilovemilken's picture

Bad weather?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:45 | 4786747 SykeWar
SykeWar's picture

I blame it on Global Whoring.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 17:46 | 4786504 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

WTF!?!? 

Pretty sure I just heard Meg Whitman on the conference call say HP may lay off 50,000!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:05 | 4786594 SykeWar
SykeWar's picture

Shut up meg!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 21:39 | 4787148 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Better get used to her fat incompetent ass as it will undoubtedly have a high position in the coming Clinton admisitration.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:31 | 4786699 Zarbo
Zarbo's picture

The absolute brilliance of Dave Packard and Bill Hewlett's employee stock purchase plan was that it continued to give a hefty discount, even in times of bad economic performance.  The employees kept the company capitalized during downturns.  They were rewarded for their investment during the good times.

At the same time, there were never layoffs.  Before all the outsourcing "stuff" started in the early '90s, it was cheaper to keep good employees in place to be ready for the upturn.  Everyone, everyone, took a nine-day fortnight (i.e. one day off in ten) without pay.

No, I blame the graduates in Medieval French History that subsequently think that an M.B.A. from a major school somehow prepares you for reality.  I also blame the managers that neither taught, nor instilled, the corporate culture in the new hires.

Right.  It used to be an amazing place.

(by the way, the new buzz-phrase is: "we're only hiring engineers at the beginning of their careers".  weasle words.) 

P.S.  My employee number is in the low 30,000 range.  I've witnessed it all.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:33 | 4786706 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

the new CO2 pistol is putting away squirrel in the freezer what with the cost of beef.  Wild game. It's what's for dinner. YUM

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:48 | 4786762 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Maybe they should have directed their CapEx and efforts at manufacturing a printer that isn't designed to ripoff the consumer?!

I wonder if that mindset, of designing to ripoff, then also infests the rest of the company?!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 18:55 | 4786778 giggler321
giggler321's picture

A certain Mrs J.Yellen will be unhappy if they can't keep the printers going - thanks HP, keep up the good work

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:10 | 4786820 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

"please direct it at the company's "activist" shareholders".....

 

I'd also include all those in top management who make the big bucks from their stock options and I'd also question their board of directors.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 19:52 | 4786926 Rooster68
Rooster68's picture

HP at one time was the cutting edge of digital test equipment but when fiber optics came online it's like they ceded the market and then they bought Compaq. Following the Compaq model they wrote drivers to make up for cheap hardware and expect primo prices for basically garbage. HP! I knew you when!!

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 20:28 | 4786989 Space Animatoltipap
Space Animatoltipap's picture

It's all just part of the crazy squeeze out boom-bust economical model. 2008 Is just being posponed by the Masters of Craziness. Please fasten your seat belts. Seat belts??? Who has got gold and or silver? 95% Is in India, China and Russia ...

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 21:35 | 4787143 Karaio
Karaio's picture

Caterpillar, IBM, HP, overpriced elitist expensive hardware. 

Not always good. 

Ten years, wait ten years (if anything left over). 

Apple, Google (maybe) and others will pro bag (Microsoft included). 

Maybe get Intel and AMD. 

hehe.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 03:19 | 4787609 napper
napper's picture

HP is known for bulky and buggy softwares (inkjet printers, laser printers, fax machines, digicams etc etc)

HP laptops used to be loaded with all kinds of crappy trial softwares.

I have never had much respect for HP printer/fax/imaging programmers, and their hardware designers. So while the firing is sad, there is some element of justification due to the longstanding incompetence of HP employees.

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 21:48 | 4787173 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Who the hell uses HP?

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 23:28 | 4787369 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Mrs Atomizer and I do. we even have two HP wifi printers. Just like a cat spraying her terriory, she left her laptop for the i7 deskstop.

Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:39 | 4787751 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Who needs jobs? We have PRINTED prosperity now!

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