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Federal Reserve Admits Truth In Internal Memo: "Prices Continue To Rise Between 3% And 33%"

Tyler Durden's picture


We are confused: on one hand the Fed is injecting hundreds of billions of liquidity into the market, boosting the S&P to all time highs and making the rich richer (Piketty taking Excel lessons from Rogoff notwithstanding) while the economy remains stagnant because, according to the BLS, inflation is too low, and as everyone knows the biggest lament of the impoverished middle class is that "the value of my dollar isn't being destroyed fast enough for me to feel confident about the future." On the other hand, the very same Federal Reserve Bank (of Chicago), just announced that as a result of "prices continuing to increase between 3% and 33%" (!), beginning May 27 it is hiking the prices in its cafeteria. So, clearly prices are rising at a 33% clip due to, how does the IMF put it, lowflation, right? Oh, and harsh weather.

From the Chicago Fed, highlights ours

Subject: Reserve Center Cafe changes coming


Reserve CenterTM Tenants,


Due to rising product prices in the past several years, The Reserve Center will increase its prices in the cafeteria effective May 27. 


Over the past five years, many of you may have experience product price increases in grocery stores. Prices continue to rise between 3% – 33%.  For the past eight years, The Reserve Center has been absorbing these increases. The last overall price increase in The Reserve Center cafeteria took place in 2006, followed by a limited increase on sugar-based products in 2012. 


For the upcoming price increase, a thorough review of café items was conducted and, while some prices will remain flat, others will increase to recognize these market increases. The price increase will help The Reserve Center cafeteria continue to maintain high standards and service levels by providing quality products.


Another change includes the introduction of new menu program changes to provide greater variety as we continue to refresh the cafeteria menu offerings.  In the following months, we will be distributing a survey to obtain feedback on these new menu changes, as well as your food preferences so that we can continue to tailor menu offerings based on input we receive from our customers.


Lastly, we've reviewed feedback and in response The Reserve Center cafeteria will now close at 1:30 p.m. on Fridays. However, July 11 tahrough Aug. 29 we will close at 1 p.m. as the traffic is lighter due to vacations.


Thank you for your continued support of The Reserve Center cafeteria.


Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago

* * *

The good news (for Fed employees): as we reported last year, the average annual increase in the salaries of Federal Reserve workers over the past year has been around 13%, so a price hike should be bearable.


Everyone else? As we showed in "Real Hourly Wages Decline For The First Time Since 2012" better luck next time.


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Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:04 | 4791088 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

No worries. It's only the price of beef that is being hiked in the Fed café.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:09 | 4791094 H. Perowne
H. Perowne's picture

Hedonically adjust it to horsemeat, problem solved

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:14 | 4791103 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Soylent Green is....people!

In a world dominated politically with people who see us, you and me, as the problem, the natural solution will be OUR consumption.

Higher food prices indeed!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:23 | 4791116 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture



Current discussions about rising food prices and fears of inflation are largely overstated.  Rising food prices in developing nations can be attributed to the citizens of those nations seeking more sophisticated diets.


- Bernocchio, June 2011


A comment so ridiculous you wouldn't even read it in a Mad Magazine.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:25 | 4791123 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Damn! Until that last sentence I thought I WAS reading a Mad magazine!


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:29 | 4791135 Stackers
Stackers's picture

talking to one of my rancher buddies the other day. Cows being sold at the auctions for processing would bring $600-700 2 years ago, now bring $1,100+.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:51 | 4791166 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Only when these sumbitches are afraid to leave their dwellings will we be free from their disease.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:04 | 4791186 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey, all they have to do is reduce the serving size by 40% and hype up the "New Reduced Healthier Caloric intake size" while increasing the price a measily 5% and BAM! Problem solved! WINNING!!!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:14 | 4791197 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Hang the mother fuckers.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:56 | 4791258 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

USDA warns of sticker shock on U.S. beef as grilling season starts


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Department of Agriculture has warned of sticker shock facing home chefs on the eve of the Memorial Day holiday weekend, the unofficial start of the U.S. summer grilling season.

The agency said conditions in California could have "large and lasting effects on U.S. fruit, vegetable, dairy and egg prices," as the most populous U.S. state struggles through what officials are calling a catastrophic drought.

The consumer price index (CPI) for U.S. beef and veal is up almost 10 percent so far in 2014, reflecting the fastest increase in retail beef prices since the end of 2003. Prices, even after adjusting for inflation, are at record highs.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:12 | 4791508 max2205
max2205's picture

Who's running this country anyway. ...oh wait....

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:54 | 4791569 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

"For the upcoming price increase, a thorough review of café items was conducted and, while some prices will remain flat, others will increase to recognize these market increases."


What's wrong with using hedonics and substitution to solve the problem of "inflation" at the Fed cafeteria?...

Just replace the steak in the steak sandwich with cheaper (and thus now prefered) shit and you have a shit sandwich that's every bit as tasty as the original steak...

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 17:03 | 4791787 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

Saturday Reading:

The Origin Of Dollarbleck

most people don't realize that the mechanism for covering the kingdom with green monetary slime originated before helicopters and ben

magicians, acting on the orders of the king

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 03:32 | 4792805 August
August's picture

Ask Obama, he might know.  The again, maybe not.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 16:58 | 4791773 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

When they start seeing numbers of upticks in the range of hundreds or thousands for comments like these, you know that they will be trembling, like Jimmy Saville at Wiggles concert.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 18:29 | 4791953 MountainsRoam
MountainsRoam's picture

Hangin is to quick and easy, I think we need something really special for the Federal Reserve Gang..

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 03:34 | 4792807 August
August's picture

Back to the Old Vikings Days, I say: into the Wolf-Pit!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 23:20 | 4792547 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Econ9698- Iran just did.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 22:55 | 4792502 xtop23
xtop23's picture

They have internet access, and have stolen enough of grandpa's pension plan, that they can afford armed mercs as babysitters.

Until some of these guys start swingin' from a high branch, you aren't even giving them a chill.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 12:01 | 4793332 All Risk No Reward
All Risk No Reward's picture

We are aloooooong way away.

We can't even get to the point that tax payer money isn't used to support their sybaritic living arrangements...

Read 'em and weep, lady (there has to be one!) and gentlemen.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:55 | 4791168 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

None of this is a problem unless you eat or use energy.  So just stop doing that.

Also most state and local governments are cutting taxes to help you out.  I pay far less in property taxes, sewer taxes, municipal taxes, etc. than I did 7 years ago.  I'm sure you've all experienced similar declines in your taxes over the last 6-7 years.  (Yes, that's sarcasm)

So to recap:  your earnings are flat to declining, your taxes are going up and what you pay for necessities like food and energy are rising as well.  Someday we'll mourn over the death of the middle class.  Someday after it's far too late.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:23 | 4791211 TruthTalker
TruthTalker's picture


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:43 | 4791665 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

i'm long embalming fluid

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:30 | 4791229 ATM
ATM's picture

THEY want to destroy the middle class. The middle class is that portion of society that is self sufficient, ambitious, hard working and for th emost part moral.

All of those traits are incompatible with authoritarianism which seeks a docile, needy, amoral citizenry who willingly accept the meager rations of their masters. 

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 01:35 | 4791474 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"The middle class is that portion of society that is self sufficient, ambitious, hard working and for th emost part moral."

Bullshit !

The Middle Class is a total fabrication due to a singularly unique time in human history where the industrialization of Cheap Energy....(first coal and then oil) came about at the same time as Central Bank planning (1913) and then RAMPed way up in the 50's and 60's until today with Ponzi financing.

Cheap Energy is over.  So is the Middle least the way we have known it.

Back to Feudalism we go.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 01:07 | 4792678 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

Isn't it already too late?  The middle class seems dead to me.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 12:07 | 4793343 All Risk No Reward
All Risk No Reward's picture

Yes.  The ever thinning veneer of the middle class is wholely dependent of the issuance of exponential debt (money - debt **is** money).

When that exponential debt growth curve breaks for good - and it will...  it always does...  not to mention that is an integral part of the plan to strip mine the planet Earth on behalf of the Machiavellian oligarch class...  the veneer will be gone.

Most people who are now "rich" will be impoverished to a level few can imagine today.

The Great Depression will have to be renamed "The Happy Days" before this Debt Star economy destroyer is done working its "magic" on an insouciant and ignorable galactic chump population.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:25 | 4791124 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:26 | 4791125 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

This is definitely Irony Story of the Month.

Would be funny if it was....funny that is....

Is the Kool Aid free?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:07 | 4791190 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

The Kool Aid is free.

The antidote, however, is very, very expensive.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:33 | 4791136 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Last time I looked at the price of the hotdogs that they put the red dye in to hide the shit that you really don't want to know that you're eating, they were $4.00, and that was a couple or a few months ago.  No inflation?  What goes into hotdogs to begin with is normally pretty bad, but when they have to put red dye into them to make them more palatable, you know that they are probably horrid.  And they're getting to the point where they're not exactly cheap.  

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:32 | 4791314 chapaev's ghost
chapaev's ghost's picture

There is no inflation. A price increase based on a limitation of supply is not a sign of inflation.

The article's context is about the price of FOOD. Food is becoming more expensive for the following one reason:


Every petroleum-related production index is in decline. If you don't believe me, check out this website:

All of our food is grown/harvested/processed and delivered with fossil fuel/petroleum. For example, locally hay prices have essentially doubled. Cattle prices have more than doubled. Add to this hog virus, GMO diminishing returns, soil degradation, etc and the cost of food production will continue to soar.

Spending more money on food (which is a secondary fuel expense, ie, it really means spending more for petroleum), is NOT , I repeat NOT inflation. It is actually deflationary, because that money cannot be spent on other things. Fixed costs detract from economic growth. Food (we all have to eat) is a fixed cost at the BOTTOM OF THE PYRAMID. If the krill die, the whales die. If I have to spend more for food, Blankfiend, Ber-stankie, Yeller, and the rest of the bankster-vampire class will die.


Peak oil bitchez...



Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:33 | 4791319 chapaev's ghost
chapaev's ghost's picture

PS. Don't eat hot dogs! Really. That is cancer-sausage. Literally, hot dogs are made out of the cancerous growths cut out of the animals. Do your health a favor and spend that money on cigarettes.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:50 | 4791354 Stockmonger
Stockmonger's picture


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:02 | 4791386 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

LOL !!!   Me too.....had to do a double take on that last line.  Well played, sir !!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:35 | 4791436 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture


Your sense of humor is appreciated.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:52 | 4791567 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

It's not humor.  It's just fact.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:43 | 4791326 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Peak oil and an increase in the number of dollars are not incompatible.  We're printing because real growth is no longer possible across the broad economy, and the number of dollars sloshing around out there is increasing.  The thing that has kept this from blowing up is that many of those dollars have not yet come out to play, and the money velocity has tanked.  Add to that the number of dollars abroad, and you add another layer of potential inflation.  No, we are facing ever dwindling resources with an increased supply of FRNs.  While we may hit a deflationary bump along the road, I fully expect the endgame to be hyperinflation, brought on, in part by dwindling resources and in part by printing.  


EDIT: That expectation is in the event of no major war that crushes the country before we get to that point, be it a nuclear war with Russia or China, or a civil war.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:08 | 4791393 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture


We HAVVvvve a WINNAH !!!

Absolutely correct.  Everything begins and ends and begins again on Cheap Energy as the input for all production in the modern world.  Price inflation due to monetary policy only comes about because there is not enough Cheap Energy to keep the Debt Ponzi going.  Therefore more money is printed for fear of debt not being paid back due to the increased input cost of Expensive Energy.

And there is not enough Cheap Energy remaining....nor will there be enough new finds of Cheap Energy in the future to make up the difference in order to pay back the debt needed to bring 30-100 years of future production to the present as we have been doing for the last 60 years or so.

The organic analog to this is.....try doing the exercises needed to compete in Crossfit.  Now....try doing that full on 24 hours a day for the next week.

You will learn very quickly the concept of Peak Cheap Energy....and how that affects production....namely....your ability to ouput those exercises in the same manner you did at the beginning.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 20:04 | 4792155 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"Spending more money on food (which is a secondary fuel expense, ie, it really means spending more for petroleum), is NOT , I repeat NOT inflation. It is actually deflationary, because that money cannot be spent on other things. Fixed costs detract from economic growth. Food (we all have to eat) is a fixed cost at the BOTTOM OF THE PYRAMID. If the krill die, the whales die. If I have to spend more for food, Blankfiend, Ber-stankie, Yeller, and the rest of the bankster-vampire class will die.


I will live off weeds and dirt if it means that the Oligarchs and Cocksuckers die a miserable death and the land is purged of them.

Bring the brutal austerity and cleansing.  Please.  Yes, I understand. No, not kidding...

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 03:29 | 4792804 Serenity Now
Serenity Now's picture

chapaev's ghost,

It's so nice to see another poster who knows the real definition of inflation.  I think there are four of us on ZH now.  :)

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 10:02 | 4793056 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Wrong there is 'inflation'....why?



"inflation is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon."

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 11:37 | 4793278 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Yes, petroleum prices are critical to all modern life, I agree.

As far as the 'peak oil' myth, not so much.

There is way too much evidence to possibly continue believing the 'fossil fuel' bullshit story. Look at the Gulf of Mexico issue, for example; or the Kola S/G superdeep wells that Russia drilled.

Asa far as 'inflation/deflation', these terms have NOTHING to do with the amount of fiat currency spent; they refer to the number of fiat currency units being put in to (or removed from) the overall supply. As a corollary, if all people must spend more to get the same, and all people CAN spend more, then the supply of fiat currency MUST have been increased (hence, the INFLATION of the currency supply MUST exist), and your 'deflationary' statement becomes a misnomer.

NO, the REAL issues have to do with the CONTROL of the oil supply (and, the FOOD supply). You KNOW who I'm discussing here.

I wonder what the USDA needs with body armor and submachine guns, anyway.

A lot of people discount Lindsay Williams, perhaps because he's a Baptist preacher, but I have no reason to doubt his story about Gull Island.

It takes an enormous amount of fuel to fly all those spraying planes, you know. The causes of the symptoms you are concerned about ("...locally hay prices have essentially doubled. Cattle prices have more than doubled. Add to this hog virus, GMO diminishing returns, soil degradation, etc and the cost of food production will continue to soar.") have different root causes than you appear to know of.

In order to effect a solution, one must first CORRECTLY identify the actual problem.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 12:33 | 4793369 All Risk No Reward
All Risk No Reward's picture

The main reasons for price increase, ex preconceived notions which most people can't seem to cognitively parkour over, is that Wall Street took their trillions in free bailout money, leveraged it up and bought commodities including food.  Or, in the case of GMOs, pesticide edibles and herbicide resistance edibles.  I'm not sure they are actually food or not.  Maybe slow kill food, but that's not the same as "food."

This free money being tossed at commodities bid the price up of same.

This is true of oil.  Demand for oil is primarily dependent on the issuance of exponential debt, that is money.  Money **is** debt.  The asset that enables you to "feed your family" is exactly the same as the liability that will enslave your family.

By definition.

But apathetic and insouciant people don't worry about math, abstract mathematical monetary Sun Tzu Art of War models engineered to destroy their future, do they?

Here is inflation in credit issuance...  first chart:

The debt inflation chart is skewed high because of the true debts of financial institutions are being kept in a state of unrecognition.  You know, markt o myth, not reality.  My guess is that a mark to reality chart would indicate that outstanding debt is still below 2007 levels.  Perhaps by a significant amount.

This bolsters the idea that the bailout debt proceeds (aka, money) are being targeted at breadstuffs in particular.  This creates marginally higher demand which drives the price up.

This is nothing new as Andrew Jackson was commenting on the exact same Bankster tactic in the mid 1800s.

"Gentlemen! I too have been a close observer of the doings of the Bank of the United States. I have had men watching you for a long time, and am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won, you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the bank and annul its charter I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves. I have determined to rout you out, and by the Eternal, (bringing his fist down on the table) I will rout you out!"
~President Andrew Jackson, from the original minutes of the Philadelphia committee of citizens sent to meet with President Jackson (February 1834), according to Andrew Jackson and the Bank of the United States (1928) by Stan V. Henkels - online PDF

Note what Andrew Jackson expected of the Banksters in his day...

"The bank, Mr. Van Buren, is trying to kill me, but I will kill it."
President Andrew Jackson, said to Martin Van Buren (8 July 1832) and quoted in The Autobiography of Martin Van Buren, published in Annual Report of the American Historical Association for the Year 1918, vol. II (1920), ed. John Clement Fitzpatrick, ch. XLIII (p. 625).  Referring to the Second Bank of the United States

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:34 | 4791320 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Maybe they are making the hot dogs out of cochineal, hm?  Not just using it for dye!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:44 | 4791342 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

LOL.  Good thing I'm not in the habit of eating hot dogs.  

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:34 | 4791652 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

The problem is it is rare today to find anyone willing to face reality. As people stuff themselves with hot dogs I suggest a tour of a sausage factory. They react in horror and refuse. So, if people innately know what they would find would be unpleasant why do they stuff themselves with such an offensive "food"? It scares me how detached from the real world people are today.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:43 | 4791153 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

"A comment so ridiculous you wouldn't even read it in a Mad Magazine."

The satire event horizon has been reached. Every 'real' event forward will be indistinguishable from a past or current satire. Laugh (or cry) accordingly.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:53 | 4791167 Slave
Slave's picture

Rising prices must mean more aggregate demand! Because Ben with his helicopter fixed this mother fucker!!

Oh...that doesn't make sense? Neither does what he said.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:23 | 4791119 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Time to lie to each other internally, the total-lie strategy, then these slips will be avoided. 

Lying to oneself first is the best strategy, before lying to others.

:-) happy, happy

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:36 | 4791236 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Lying to oneself ... something every junkie does.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:40 | 4791445 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

Those who cannot ly do not know what the truth is ..... Nietzsche

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 11:41 | 4793289 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Nietzsche... what an ass.

Those who do not know truth cannot recognize the lie for what it is.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:21 | 4791208 TruthTalker
TruthTalker's picture

WEll Obama and his administration only want to serve man - I do not see what the problem is

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:29 | 4791132 SunRise
SunRise's picture

Horsemeat over time to be hedonically adjusted to roach meat.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:50 | 4791161 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

As a bonus, you can wash the roach meat in the N Pacific for that extra bit of Fukushima spice.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:04 | 4791187 813kml
813kml's picture

And the roaches will become reanimated.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:53 | 4791364 messymerry
messymerry's picture

Great, just what we need, zombie roaches.  Fortunately, the pentagon has a plan in place for just such a contingency.  I feel better already.  ;-D

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:09 | 4791192 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I hear the Soylent Corporation is coming to market with a new "green" product. Tastes just like chicken.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:12 | 4791194 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Dupe. My bad.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:35 | 4791233 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

My hedonistic adjustment:  Use an '06 to whollop an elk and plant a garden.  

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:33 | 4791139 20834A
20834A's picture

I say let them eat...rat.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 17:11 | 4791799 KickIce
KickIce's picture

Even White Castles are too good for these SOBs.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:46 | 4791156 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

I've watched dozens of senior couples in my home town go from living a reasonably comfortable life a couple of years ago to living on the edge. And the rest of us are shell shocked when we go to the store as prices continue to skyrocket. Whenever I see a news piece about the "economy improving" or inflation being "under control" or "unemployment improving" I simply turn off the TV and go on a 50 mile bicycle ride to blow off steam. It's that or quaff a bottle of 12 year old Glenlivet.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:59 | 4791177 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I watched on the news this morning that they are promoting seniors use of insecticides as a preventative to West Nile. I can't help wonder how much these poisons will accelerate our mortality over the statistical probability of West Nile deaths.

They constantly harp on the plight of children yet do everything they can to prevent them for coming into existence.

We know that the old people (like me) are going to present a huge burden on the economy and maybe I'm paranoid, but what possible incentive do they have in keeping us alive?

Nothing, and I mean nothing that comes from our leaders has anything to do with the present, other than their own survival. Any agenda they may have is expressly pointed at the future and I do not believe for a moment that they are not seeing exactly the same thing as the rest of us. The only difference is that they are driving policy, not living it.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:14 | 4791195 813kml
813kml's picture

It's disturbing how many people still take US gov advice as gospel.  I'm waiting for the day that the Surgeon General recommends preventing cancer by hacking off one's extremities and removing all but the most vital organs.  It is truly amazing that most Americans still can't figure out that their health is directly affected by environmental factors and whatever crap they stuff in their mouths.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:21 | 4791206 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

You are what you eat. Eat enough if processed parts dyed red you will look like a blended tube of fat stuffed into a stretched skin.

On the plus side nobody will mind if you use a scooter @walmart to get around.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:26 | 4791216 813kml
813kml's picture

I can picture the sausage races at Brewers games just becoming fatties drag racing Hoverounds.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:37 | 4791238 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Are breasts an extremity or a vital organ?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:44 | 4791244 813kml
813kml's picture

Most definitely a vital organ.

Second thoughts, Angelina?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:56 | 4791688 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

she never cut off her breasts. never happened. she's just reading the script. not about breast cancer. it's the genetic test.   cataloging the goats so when the time comes to cull the herd...

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:49 | 4791459 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture


I also find the cancer thing amazing. They say new research indicates that soursop and grape seed extract is about 10,000 times more effective than chemo and has no ill effects.

When my mother was in a nursing home (she was in her 90s) the "doctor" told me she had a lump in her breast and was "probably" cancer. He recommended a full masectomy. I told him many older women had lumps there and it was mostly benigh. He said do you realize how painful cancer of the breast can be? I said well do a biopsy and lets find out. He never brought up this again. My mother live many years after this and never had a problem.

My uncle was 88 and in perfect health. The doctor said his blood was a little low and recommended a transfusion. He got one and two months later was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly thereafter.

I friend of mine I talked too recently says he beat throat cancer. They cut it out and gave him chemo. He said I didn't even know I had cancer until they told me. I said maybe you didn't have cancer! Maybe somebody just made some money!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:58 | 4791259 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Old is relative and burden is too.


That being said, the News was cancelled on 9/11/2001, but you rightly picked up on the message below the surface of what you watched.  


bad consumer!  You're not to see fear as a tool for marketing poison.


West Nile Bad, buy Ortho!


and take you soma


fucking terrorists





Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:01 | 4791481 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

"the News was cancelled" after 911

According to this guy it was cancelled much earlier.


John Swinton on the Free Press

One night, probably in 1880, John Swinton, then the preeminent New York journalist, was the guest of honour at a banquet given him by the leaders of his craft. Someone who knew neither the press nor Swinton offered a toast to the independent press. Swinton outraged his colleagues by replying:

“There is no such thing, at this date of the world’s history, in America, as an independent press. You know it and I know it.

There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion out of the paper I am connected with.

Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation would be gone.

The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country and his race for his daily bread. You know it and I know it, and what folly is this toasting an independent press?

We are the tools and vassals of rich men behind the scenes. We are the jumping jacks, they pull the strings and we dance. Our talents, our possibilities and our lives are all the property of other men. We are intellectual prostitutes.”

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:36 | 4791552 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

“Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed: everything else is public relations.”

George  Orwell

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:39 | 4791432 Zoomorph
Zoomorph's picture

Do you want to live forever? Hopefully those Fukushima hot particles will waft through the hospital beds of our "loved ones" on life support and help end the shame that is the last 20 years of most of their lives. Pump the pesticides through their IV to remind them of the cost of their lives and their philosophies. Humans are the cancer and pollution of the planet, and it is unsustainable to think that we can continue inflating our population and expanding our lifespans without making tradeoffs. We are approaching the tipping point where our environment can no longer support that. It's easy to point fingers at the government, but the problem is much bigger than that. All of our pollution must go somewhere.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 18:13 | 4791921 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

The only thing our planet can no longer afford is more fucking idiots.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:09 | 4791275 The Most Intere...
The Most Interesting Frog in the World's picture

Not sure which part of the country you live in but in washington dc the federal government employees are retiring with millions of dollars in retirement accounts and pensions.  im sure your experience and mine have no connection...  

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:18 | 4791294 SoDamnMad
SoDamnMad's picture

Damn, the rib eye is going from $2.00 to $2.66. I'm going to have to make sacrifices to pay that on my measley 175k salary.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:12 | 4791402 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

I have never once heard a MSM "journalist" ask Berfuckface why it's okay to devalue the currency 2% per year. Not once, as if inflation is some necessary good. Fuck You Bernanke

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:10 | 4791095 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Reserve Center TM Tenants,

We are happy to report that the 6 yr old 18 inch flat screen TV in the cafeteria will be replaced this year, for roughly the same price as the current one was purchased for. Thus reflecting the lack of inflation currently taking place in the economy. 

Thank you for your continued complicitness in our grand scam.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:18 | 4791112 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

We will all need to go out and buy the new curved screen TV this weekend. Flat screens or so yesterday and non-progressive. Forward!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:33 | 4791140 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

Also a better source for a well-rounded diet.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:10 | 4791097 Five8Charlie
Five8Charlie's picture

I'm going to print this out and mail a copy to those assholes in DC everytime I hear that inflation is not a concern. Won't do a damn bit of good, but I'll feel better.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:12 | 4791100 One And Only
One And Only's picture

"The price increase will help The Reserve Center cafeteria"

Did they forget about the large counterfeiting machine in the basement?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:16 | 4791106 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Just trying to get the velocity of money up.

Spend more, spend what you don't have and never save the economy!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:39 | 4791239 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Unless you can get something like 8%-10% on your savings, you might as well spend it anyway. Our current environment is...perverse.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:14 | 4791102 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

The Federal Reserve = exclusive power to create fiat = exclusively responsible for creating inflation.

Any questions?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:49 | 4791162 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Because the constitution is only relevant if they openly state their policies are designed to harm us?

Progressivism is the belief that if your cause is pure of heart, the consequences are irrelevant.

It's for the fucking children of course, even if they want late term abortions, birth control, general population reduction and to promote homosexual marriage that expressly denies procreation. No conflicts there, is there.

and the pathway to hell is paved with what?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:27 | 4791223 Vooter
Vooter's picture

"...and to promote homosexual marriage that expressly denies procreation..."

Gee, I didn't know there was a law that required humans to procreate...must have missed that one!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:39 | 4791331 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Someone needs to watch Idiocracy.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:17 | 4791620 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

It's called Natural Selection.  You are doing a fine job of complying.  Keep it up.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 18:25 | 4791941 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

So what is society doing any of this for? Why give a fuck about pollution or climate change or anything else? Forever, the primary concern of advanced societies, if not everyone in them, has been the future for future generations. Today, all we hear is the evil of humanity, that we are the fucking blight. This only proves how fucked up our education system is and how gullible people are today. Those at the top have always seen the masses as the problem, with the solution as a good and proper "thinning" and finding it easiest by pitting one group against another. Every person on this planet has just as much right as anyone to be here if they are willing to pull their weight. If we just spent half the energy trying to be best we can be instead of calculating how best to eliminate those we see as "the problem", the world would be better by far.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:16 | 4791107 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

"When people have nothing left to lose, they lose it"  HT Celenty.  This is going to be a bumpy road socially speaking.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:24 | 4791121 DavidC
DavidC's picture

I think you mean Gerald Celente, but yes, you're right.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:18 | 4791110 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


     Don't worry people, these guys are professionals...they know what they're doing, just look at how they got right with sub-prime!!!    But please, don't try this at home!


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:18 | 4791113 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Just print moar roast beef and mashed potatos....Whaaaat's da problem?........

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:17 | 4791200 813kml
813kml's picture

I hear that the whistleblower stew is delicious.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:19 | 4791114 sandhillexit
sandhillexit's picture

It IS funny.  But on second reading, isn't this just the "company store" taking back some of those over-generous salary increases?  In their "trade circle" the cafeteria workers want a raise, and rightly so, if the credentialed staff can extract 10-12% a year from the taxpayers.  So they are just "sharing the wealth." But to explain it by food price increases in so RICH.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:28 | 4791134 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

I seriously doubt this is for raises to the cafeteria workers.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:20 | 4791115 intric8
intric8's picture

Well folks can always hit the cafe discount window. its actually slightly more pricey but you get food real fast.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:23 | 4791120 DavidC
DavidC's picture

13% salary increases over the last year?! I haven't made that much in the last FIVE years!


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:19 | 4791201 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

I've had a 100% salary increase over the last year.


2* Last year salary = 0 = This year's salary.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:25 | 4791122 short screwed
short screwed's picture

Is the price of Victory Gin still the same?

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:27 | 4791128 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Yes, it's been 1984 for as long as I can remember.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:25 | 4791126 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Yeah... with 13% salary increases per year, I'm sure they can manage.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:25 | 4791127 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Federal Reserve cafeteria prices should be our benchmark for real inflation.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:31 | 4791137 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

The same guy massaging numbers on a spreadsheet to make inflation "go away" will probably be bitching about the price increases with his coworkers at lunch.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:55 | 4791169 813kml
813kml's picture

I can't believe the cheapass FED can't pull a million or two out of the trillions they print to provide a free cafeteria.  One of the Tylers needs to piss in their soup.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 16:26 | 4791725 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

!!!  better than the economists 'big mac' index.


wonder how much bill dudley pays for a chicken i-pad wrap?


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:28 | 4791133 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

It's not complicated. They lie.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:38 | 4791148 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

A very terse statement that gets right to the heart of the matter.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:32 | 4791138 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:33 | 4791144 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Make the usual rounds through the local Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, etc.

Ran across a secretary in a State Farm office.  She was simultaneously depressed and happy.

She has four kids and between her salary and her underemployed husband they are now reaching out to the local food bank for anything.

Sadly, she probably makes too much money to qualify.  Meanwhile all the anchor baby dropers are driving their electric cars to collect their section 8 vouchers and USDA food boxes loaded with bacon.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:51 | 4791675 HeavydutyMexica...
HeavydutyMexicanOfTheNorthernKingdom's picture

"Meanwhile all the anchor baby dropers are driving their electric cars to collect their section 8 vouchers and USDA food boxes loaded with bacon."

STFU crybaby boomer...there's plenty of landscaping jobs available for those willing to bust their ass son.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:37 | 4791146 dust to dust
dust to dust's picture

 Need a copy of the Menu. Brain food no doubt.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:01 | 4791180 813kml
813kml's picture

Probably cannibalism of their vanquished foe, reality.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:30 | 4791226 TruthTalker
TruthTalker's picture

but Obama only wants to serve man =

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:39 | 4791149 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

between 3% and 33%? That's quite a spread! I'm guessing it's closer to the 33%

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:45 | 4791154 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I was really pissed off when I noticed the other day that my "cheap" Kokanee brand beer was 11.5 ozs.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:03 | 4791183 813kml
813kml's picture

Wine will soon come pre-decanted in a half empty bottle.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:13 | 4791196 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

Why those cheap, fucking Canadians!

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:04 | 4791489 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

I never knock Canadians, at least they know they are under the London circus. Americans have no idea they are. They think people hate our freedom.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:06 | 4791597 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

They do hate us for our freedoms.

And the US .gov is doing everything in its power to vanquish from the face of the Earth any remaining freedoms the idiocracy thinks it still has.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:56 | 4791257 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

It's impossible to know for sure, but that 11.5 oz. is probably the equivalent of some exotic metric unit like 1 Litter or .5 Hectacres.  If you buy Iron City like I do, you know you get good old American beer, served in English units.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:46 | 4791344 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I found out the 11.5 oz comes from the old traditional "Canadian stubby" bottle. However, Kokanee looks like a regular long neck, so I still call bullshit. For me, it's local beer, even though I live in Washington State.

When I was a member of the "middle class," I confined my consumption to Washington and Oregon ales.

Only as a treat, now.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 21:05 | 4791855 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Canadian drinks are mostly 330 ml which is 11.15 ounces.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:50 | 4791165 The wheels on t...
The wheels on the bus are going to fall off's picture

The Irony is overwhelming lol

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:58 | 4791175 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

When we stop spending in masses, this stupid game ends quickly.


Only essentials.  Nothing else.  Avoid driving.  No more online purchases.  No more shopping or home renovation.


In short order, this forces the hand of the Fed and government.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:26 | 4791218 disgruntled hou...
disgruntled housewife's picture

This is correct. It is the only option we have. The voting booth doesn't work- by the time they get to the federal level they are bought and paid for.  We live in an oligarchy and the only way to get their attention is hit them in the pocket book.  No more GE, no more Apple, Exxon, no more business with the partners (Google, Yahoo, Facebook) of the NSA- there are options.  No more GMOs- so fresh local food not the crap the FDA labels as food. 

There will be casulties on our side from these measures.  Hours will be cut.  Help those you can. I suggest we choose a month. Is it possible to have a citizen solidarity for a month? Maybe a "Voting with our Dollars" Campaign?

There is a possibility the QE taper will be pulled or they could use the event as an excuse to let the dollar crash thereby absolving themselves from the fact they destroyed it.  I don't know but we must do something. 

I am unemployed- I have lots of time but not the tech know how to start the campaign. Any ideas for me

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:47 | 4791248 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Based on my observations, they are bought and paid for at the local level as well.


"My guillotine will start local, and go global."

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:20 | 4791296 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Right, but local politicians throats are within reach, so to speak.  This makes them somewhat of a different animal than the creatures who haunt the buildings in DC.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:10 | 4791398 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Start with your bank accounts and CASH HOLDINGS, people.  Abandon the USD as anything more than a currency for paying taxes with.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 15:53 | 4791680 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Nothing like cutting one's way up."

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:10 | 4791500 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

I try and follow your advice. I don't eat corn unless it is popcorn I buy at the health food store. I don't use corn oil, .... olive oil or sesame, cocanut oil for me.

No American beer, only German as they have not gone to GMO yet. .... yet Guiness will not answer you if you ask them whether they use gmo corn syrup.

The only two whiskies now available that are not GMO are Wild Turkey and Four Roses.

I no longer eat fish. I am amazed that saki is still being sold here without a fuku warning label.

A friend of mine bought a new toyota, I told him it would be wise to put a geiger counter to it.


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:31 | 4791230 messymerry
messymerry's picture

+1000 o geek san,  it's money that fuels the madness. 

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 10:59 | 4791176 Spungo
Spungo's picture

If the fed employees are getting raises above 10% per year, that would strongly imply the inflation rate is around 10%.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:25 | 4791213 messymerry
messymerry's picture

Actually they got 13% which means they effectively got a 3% increase.  Quite reasonable dontcha thank???

Ladeis and germs, we still have a three class system here in the good 'ol USSA a la Orwell:  The inner party .001%, the outer party 4.999%, and the proletariat...the rest of us.

I know, 'cuz Ima happy prole,


Sat, 05/24/2014 - 14:19 | 4791519 max2205
max2205's picture

We need better schools for the kids....and food for the kids....ect so they can join the FSA and maintain their standard of living till they and their kids and kids kids can do the same except the United States of Mexico will be the Govt in charge by then.



Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:07 | 4791189 MATA HAIRY
MATA HAIRY's picture

the beatings will continue until morale improves

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:27 | 4791221 messymerry
messymerry's picture

...and after that, lots of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT).

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:18 | 4791199 joego1
joego1's picture

Don't worry it will be ok the employees  all have a fed discount window visa card at 0% interest forever with a starting balance of $20,000 parked at the fed collecting %10 interest.


The Fed- "It's everywhere you don't want it to be"

The Fed- "Whats in your wallet?"

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 13:29 | 4791430 813kml
813kml's picture

The Fed- "Whats in your wallet?"

The tentacles of a giant vampire squid.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:19 | 4791204 Sambo
Sambo's picture

Another crazy guy rejected by girls goes on a shooting spree in California....

America is a sinking ship....

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:27 | 4791220 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

With a rant like what he said, I am sure he was loaded up on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. That fucks everybody up that takes them and trips a few of them into a homicidal rage. Tragic and I blame the pharma industry.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:30 | 4791228 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

I would also like to see a VA study on how many vets that committed suicide were on these damned drugs too. I bet it is a lot.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:46 | 4791247 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Likely would have committed suicide if they weren't on them, too.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:14 | 4791285 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

I am not so sure.  I have heard that the suicide rate is higher than previous wars.  I believe that the horrors seen are not materially different so, all other factors being similar, the post trauma treatment would be suspect.  I am not qualified nor do I have access to the data to do the study myself but I can ask the question.  It is important.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:48 | 4791249 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

I saw something on that last night.  One of the vets was being interviewed, and when asked what the medications he was getting for PTSD, the list was one that made me take a doube take.  I don't remember it all, but he was on TWO, yes TWO anti-depressents simultaneously.  Paxil and Zoloft.  Well, he may have been on more, but I recognized those two.  It was a fuck-ton of meds, and he claimed that they only kind of worked, and that the only thing that really helped him was heroin.  Yes, he was on a fuck-ton of psychoactive drugs plus heroin to boot.  He overdosed not long after the interview.  Give that list of drugs to somebody with the wrong brain chemistry, and you will fuck them up.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 12:51 | 4791357 gonetogalt
gonetogalt's picture

I'm reposting this link, it's been put up before on ZH, but tells all you neewd to know about psych drugs...

hope it works here.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!