This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
The 10 Best (And Worst) Jobs In 2014 (Or Why You Should Study Math More Betterer)
Forget well-roundedness... if you really want to get on in this world... study math betterer is the clear message from CareerCast.com's rankings of the best and worst jobs in America. As WSJ reports, it’s no secret that quantitative skills are in high demand on the job market; and as one analytics recruiter noted: workers who can’t crunch numbers may ultimately face a "permanent pink slip." Mathematician is the 'best occupation' in 2014 according to their report and Lumberjack the worst (with Newspaper reporter second worst).
Below are the best and worst jobs of 2014, according to CareerCast.com. Click here for the full rankings and here for details on the methodology.
Best Jobs of 2014 / Midlevel Income
1. Mathematician / $101,360
2. Tenured University Professor / $68,970
3. Statistician /$75,560
4. Actuary / $93,680
5. Audiologist / $69,720
6. Dental Hygienist / $70,210
7. Software Engineer / $93,350
8. Computer Systems Analyst / $79,680
9. Occupational Therapist /$75,400
10.Speech Pathologist / $69,870
Worst Jobs of 2014 / Midlevel Income
200. Lumberjack/ $24,340
199. Newspaper Reporter / $37,090
198. Enlisted Military Personnel / $28,840
197. Taxi Driver / $22,820
196. Broadcaster / $55,380
195. Head Cook / $42,480
194. Flight Attendant $37,240
193. Garbage Collector / $22,970
192. Firefighter / $45,250
191. Corrections Officer / $38,970
The outlook for some jobs are so bleak that they weren’t included on this year’s list. Among the occupations consigned to the dustbin are bricklayer, typist/word processor, and stationary engineer automobile assembler.
Or there's always modeling...
Or living off the government in a nation where work is punished...
As quantitied, and explained by Alexander, "the single mom is better off earnings gross income of $29,000 with $57,327 in net income & benefits than to earn gross income of $69,000 with net income and benefits of $57,045."
»
- 34471 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
Cool, there are still some lumberjacks.
Then I must find them. They will make me their accountant, and worship me.
I AM an accountant. You will find it a tough task to find worshippers.
But the groupies are awesome.
When accountancy gets too exciting for you, become an actuary.
Actuary...the morticians of accounting.
I loved the work I did as an actuary, I just found the people boring. Then I worked as a Bond manager and found the people boring. Then I worked at a strip club.... Still do.
i can see how the robots got the autoworker and the computer and the outsource gets the typist but what lays the brick?
Veneer.
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Not sure why firefighter is #192. It seems like a pretty cushy job. Spend most of your time driving a firetruck to traffic accidents so you can block 3 lanes of commuters who could have otherwise gotten past the wreck, or washing your personal car at the station. If called out to an actual fire be unable to hook up the hose to the fire hydrant, or be immediately overcome by heat exhaustion so as to sit things out . Then retire with great bennies after 20 years.
I often see a fire truck in the parking lot at the grocery store. Obviously stocking up for the big cook out and volleyball game back at the station. Oh, and gotta get a few Red Box movies.
Ya ever wonder why firetrucks don't drive around looking for fires, yet cops drive around looking for crime?
Used to own a video store back in the 80's, firefighters rented a whole lot of porn. There weren't many women firefighters to offend back then.
http://apps.usfa.fema.gov/firefighter-fatalities/fatalityData/statistics
Typical list put out by higher education PR teams, like in high school when you took the aptitude test and the first question asked you how much education you planned to get. If you said high school only it gave you a career list that looked like this:
Farmer
Garbageman
Warehouse worker
Factory worker
There, make your choice dumbfvck. Nevermind the multimillionaires in real estate, investing, and businesses of their own.
I took the aptitude test in 9th grade. It indicated the ideal occupation for me was...lumberjack! I guess that explains my love for flannel. Alas, I did not pursue that line of work. Unfortunately, I haven't fared much better than if I had.
Firefighter is the best job of all. The pay is good, the benefits are good, the stress is so low, the retirement is second to non (percent of pay), and all this is because they have the strongest union of all. The worse job of all is army soldier. The pay is very low, very long hours, working conditions are very bad, and the chance of getting hurt or killed is highest of all, benefits are a joke, and you get let go with little little pay the first time you get hurt bad. The top boss has no trouble sending you into fights with rules that put your life second to that of your enemy.
When I used to hang out in very nice places in Mexico all winter long; all the ex-pats. were retired firemen. 39 years old and retired, with a 18 yer. old Mexican girl "cook". start at 19 retire at 39. Un-believable. Except for one guy who lived aboard his cruising sail-boat; he was only 24 years old; he hurt his neck; or so he claimed.
Fucking mattress backs make a lot more in my community. Avg. 70k. Battalion Chiefs 150k. Union of course.
I don't see pandering senators on there, we sure about the accuracy of this list? ;-)
Sure, you're all bent out of shape because the pandering senators are not represe-ed. Well, what about the hard working lobbyists, huh?
I don't think former staff of senators was represented very well either ;-)
What about hookers, pimps, & dealers?
Oldest professions don't count?
I don't see orally copulating senators on there, we sure about the accuracy of this list :-) Fixed it for you
I don't see
Italian smugglers, hookers, fluffers,m/f/t/g/c/a porn actoresses, medicare fraud specialists and interns, poisoners, artists, enforcers, collectors, whistleblowers, telemarketers, spammers, Zuckerberg, cabbies, irs minions, Gollum, It, She, The Blob, Cat People, Prince of Wales, pickpocket, day laborer, gigolo, pilates mistress, The Cable Guy, DMV front line supervisor, chicken fucker, geek, nerd, blivets delivery guyis or pink slime scraper.
So I could have made a living fucking chickens??? Well I'll be damned.
Of all those jobs people do do, I think the DMV is the most unappreciated.
But I gave my life to be the best math speaker, ever. I did. I am. I'm also a pretty good teacher.
I have no credentials. Yet your children come to me, and I teach them MATH and PHYSICS. Are you clear? JFDI
Yea!
And how about high end whore? Or crack dealer / wholesaler / distributor? Legitimate occupations that contribute to GDP.
QE1 + QE2 + QE3 = QE6
common core is strong with this one!
"this is B.S." say the 120 math M.S. graduates who applied for a single position teaching at a community college. as does that 1 guy who got the position and still has to teach twice the normal courseload just to stay current on his 2nd mortgage.
market saturation is a bitch. until media idiots stop selling fields as 'this is where all the money is going' (remember nurses, librarians, real estate agents a few yrs back?) we're always going to end up with gluts of half-ass educated morons with degrees from for-profit colleges that are almost as useless as the paper they are printed on. stop pushing this propaganda and you end these useless gluts.
it's only made worse by the fact that these degreed individuals end up in 1 place when the private sector thinks they're useless: government.
The maf masters multiply their capacity by delegation. If you're carrying a double by yourself when you have all those students around, you lack imagination. I recently read an Oxford feminazi working in parapsychology bitching that its hard to be a genius. Its not. If you're a paper tiger finding it hard to live up to your credentials, Dr. Economystic, maybe the credentialing system is as gamed as the admissions quota system. For the same protocol.
great in theory, works at unis w/ the GSI system, but how many people (even students) are dumb enough to do work on your behalf for no pay and no credit? maybe that stuff worked 20-30 years ago, but even then i doubt it. millenials would just as quickly tell you to fuck off as help you grade a single test covering all the methods of integration. and then you'll be lucky to find 1 who has even mastered them all.
fortunately i'm not that guy. for me it's anecdotal. i wouldn't be caught dead teaching; it's for losers, even if the pensions are (for now) pretty lush.
Just learned today that an RN (Registered Nurse) can get by on an Associate's Degree (at least in California), Step-Sis is working on her Bachelor Degree to stay employable. Because now they're only hiring RN's with Bachelor Degrees. Indicates to me that there's already a serious glut in the medical field.
<sarc> Glad Press Zero's Health Plan will fix it all. </sarc>
Once the cost cutting really begins in earnest, the hospitals won't want the more expensive Bachelors grads, but will probably mostly want the cheap ones. And foreigners on H-1B. Just like it went down in the tech sector.
It's completely crazy. Math majors can't get jobs. they have to get on the degree treadmill and aim for a teaching position at a University. That's a long, long row to hoe. And as for tenure; hah. one in a hundred.
If you do your job only for money, you've really fucked up.
I studied Chemistry and Astronomy at uni.
I then became a sign painter - because I enjoyed it.
You only live once.
Hah. I studied the hard sciences as well. Well, I also studied economics...which we can all agreee is about as scientific as scientology...maybe less?
Anyhow, I went into sales and my ability to bullshit paid off huge! Turns out all those nights telling bimbos in the bar that I was a test pilot slash spy paid off.
i studied keynesian economics in college (uh-hem modern alchemy) as well. then i graudated and stumbled across mises, rothbard, and hayek, and now i actually understand economics.
I was a rocket scientist until the shuttle blew up (the first time) in 1986. Then I taught myself optics and haven't looked back. The money is good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGWRAa5uTUQ
>>>If you do your job only for money, you've really fucked up.
That's the very best thing about Obamacare: Americans, both young and old, no longer have to worry so much about money, but can pursue the careers of their dreams.
Lumberjack, Ha – check this out. Turn down / off volume!
If corrections officers are paid so little, how are they able to bankrupt California?
Because politicians struggle with math?
It's all in the bennies. My neighbor just retired as one at 55 because he told me he was only making $3/ hr. I was horrified until he told me he would retire at 97% salary.
Miffed;-)
The list has more than one occupation that obviously excluded California from the averages. Cali corrections officers are more like 100K. It still wouldn't be worth it if they paid triple that. Destruction of one's soul- priceless.
Working by himself, Bob can paint a house in 3 days. Mary takes 4 days. How many days does it take them if they paint together ?
There's a lot of variables in there!
OK, let's see. At the end of the first day Bob has painted 1/3 of the house, and Mary has painted 1/4, so together they have painted 1/7 of the house, which if they are minimum wage would take 365/7 which is, like, two weeks?. Which is proof that the minimum wage should be raised. Next question please...
1 day, 17 hours,
22 minutes, 45.5 seconds....
No sleep, lunch or bathroom breaks
The New World Order loves algebra
Hats off to robo Bob and Mary
Bob paints a house in 3 days, which is the same as him painting a third of a house per day (0.33~). By the same token, Mary paints a quarter house per day (0.25). That gives them a combined speed 0.33 + 0.25 = 0.58 houses per day. So, the formula for painting one house ends up being 1 = 0.58*x, where "x" is the number of days required. Solving for x you get approximately 1.72 days or 1 days 17 hours and a few minutes.
... unless this is a trick question.
Solving for 'workdays' is correct - converting to 'hours' is incorrect
Nobody works 24 hours in one day so 1 day, 17 hours is misleading at best. The job should be done in two working days - odds are they'll stretch it out to fill the second day.
The size of the house is not accounted for in this problem and that is the real determining factor. If they could paint a small house in three or four days, that is irrelevant if applying this estimate to a house that's 5 times the size.
1 + (5/7) days.
It depends if Mary is good looking OR has a nice ass...and Bob likes women.
Why should Mary paint when Bob is there to do it.
Bob got the job for Mary, so Mary paints in 4 days gets paid for 3 days and Bob gets a 1 day payoff.
Common core, Bitchez.
I love these word problems! I've developed an answer that is correct for all of them:
"Drive to the Lowe's parking lot and hire a Mexican. Drop Mexican at job, then go golfing."
Bob does all of the work, himself, gets all of the pay, and then blows it on Mary hoping for a chance to kiss Mary's fine ass.
Dog killers (cops) make some good chingy...especially with OT.
This is such bullshit. Quant jobs also face some of the lowest barrier to entry because math is a 'universal' language and tech can be done anywhere on the planet.
Looking back at my HS graduating class, the ones that have done the best were those that went to elite schools, studied soft shit like undergrad econ and went to top law or b schools and onto consulting, biglaw, or ib-programs (and later to the buyside).
The stem kids went to the flagship state school (which is actually pretty decent) and then moved on to F500 or military contractors where they get paid a pittance of what the former group gets.
There is a reason why kids of engineers are told not to go into engineering.
The ones that suck at engineering should be in the field in the first place.
Gee I've been looking and looking but no jobs show up for Mathematician. Try tacking something useful to the math skill. Thumbs down on this analysis.
Try Creative Accounting - high demand, especially from the Cartels.
If you have one bucket that contains 2 gallons and another bucket that contains 7 gallons, how many buckets do you have?
Two, unless its Common Core math, then its a 1/2hr discussion on how the student came up with nine and a half...which is also correct under current guidelines ;-)
2, but what's in the bucket? Which begs the question: How can you tell 'Paul Krugman' from a bucket of shit??? Okay, okay, the bucket!!!
Old way: 2
Common Core: 7 x 2 = 14, 2 + 2 = 5, carry the one, = 20...divide by ten, 2
As the IRS officer assigned to your case the question I'm posing is, where did you get the money for said buckets? And how did you afford to fill them up?
You've filed zero taxable income for the past 5 years.
JuliaS got those jugs the old fashioned way. Nice ones, too.
and filled them in her teens. Totally non-taxable.
No mention of aliens. I have a two year degree in human mathematics. Booorrrring.Best not to work. I find crypto-currencies a great source of income.
Bricklaying is actually in short supply in Perth, Western Australia. In this city we can still afford to build double-brick homes, and that is almost the only construction style the home builders use here. So if you are a bricklayer who is out of work then come here.
Bricklayers are currently earning anywhere from $200 - $700 per day. http://www.homeimprovementpages.com.au/article/how_much_do_bricklayers_c...
Get out of dodge. Move to Australia.
I know a bricklayer (I guess he's good from what others have said///retired now). Its very hard on the knees over time (yeah yeah..i know of other occupations where that happens :) )... Still..its a career and it puts food on the table, go for it. Can't complain about being behind a desk.
Pa, they're trying to teach me pie are squared! Everybody knows pie are round! (Jethro, Beverly Hillbillies.)
What's math ? Heck, P.H.D.s in {Non GAAP accounting} are all the rage.
* A minor in { fuzzy math } also looks good on the resume.
I took calculus/anal geo I at a State U as a frosh. Teacher sucked, but I didn't have the experience to grasp this. When approached, Dr. LISKOVEC invited me to his office to discuss my success. We talked about his lilly pond. Was he a narcist? Did he want me to sodomize/blow him? This happened 2x. Then myI friend who was a senior in engineering tutored me so much I skipped class until the midterm.
I aced the midterm. I was the first to finish. I was done so fast that I waited for someone else to turn in their test paper first. When I followed that student, without looking up professor LISKOVEC said "you failed.".
I got a lawyer. As you can imagine I had no cred and the system pertekted its own. I took the lesson well. And left the Institution.
Despite the dance I did learn calc + anal geo. Elsewhere. The next time I signed up, on the first day I knew the teacher was a loser, so I dropped it. Next term I tried another teacher, who happened to be a working engineer. I aced it, top of the class. I didn't come in with a lead, his teaching method worked for me + I worked hard. I so broke the curve he asked me to not take the midterm AND the final. Young and dumb, I aced both, making the deans' list while having my scores dropped from the class grade averaging method.
We are doomed. In some ways; if you have imagination you can find your own way.
I guess your first teacher wanted to include some butt-spelunking in your "anal geo" experience.
Interesting story. I like it how well you coped with this depravity.
Do you mind sharing what you're doing now to make a living? I'm genuinely interested to know how this early exposure to depravity has influenced your life.
I made my nut as a working engineer in the private sector. I created about 200 million in wealth to get my first million, and about 100 million to earn the 2nd. Lawyers took moar than half...
My inventions have been coming back from overseas since 911, unpaid and not only uncredited, with insult, so I QUIT.
I will take my discoveries to my grave.
When you say the private sector, was that the Fed backed or non-Fed backed private sector?
Sorry I couldn't resist that little dig. Not aimed at you though.
IMHO MILF is the best profession.
Nobody hires Mathematicans with nothing else behind them except for the NSA and academia. Anything else except for actuarial work which requires these days the first 2 exams passed for FSA certification to even be considered for entry level will not hire pure mathematicians on an entry level period. You ain't getting shit with a BA applied math degree by itself unless you intern in a company while still in school. The game is rigged against pure math and science degrees on the 4 year level these days.
Plus the other factor is the H1B crowd, STEMS jobs are lies since the companies don't want to pay for Obamacare for workers when they don't have to.
So I guess the world needs to learn more math to get a better job? So lets all be accountants, physicists, and software engineers so we can all be moderately well off!
Doesn't work that way, asshole.
Grads with math-intensive degrees are a dime a dozen and they gotta compete with grads worldwide coming here which have a greater understanding of the mathematological stuff than our schools which get shittier every year (unless you're attending a pretty sweet school like University of DeVry).
But anyway, what was my point? Oh yeah -Tylers stop fucking around on the news front by posting garbage and get to the real news like this:
https://www.privacyinternational.org/blog/what-does-gchq-know-about-our-...
You're welcome.
Remember how awesome two mathematicians named Merton and Scholes worked out when working a gig at a private investment firm
Ding, ding, ding; we have a winner ladies and gentlemen. Exactly what everyone should be remembering. Hedge fund for the rich; something like a 10million$ minimum account; their performance was analysized afterwards by real market traders; conclusion they were like children on tricycles trying to cross the interstate hwy. After, they got "saved" by Greenbrain, et all; the speculators got something like 10cents on the dollar. I laughed so hard it hurt. "LTCM---Long Term Capital Management-- the standard traders joke is, "the term didn't turn out to be so long, after all".
One Nobel Laureate in Econ. and one Math. whizz bang from the Ivory Tower; what could go wrong? They got their old jobs back at the Universities; nice houses, nice cars, nice health plans, no problems; their investors? not so much.
Thats why you failed statistics. 2 mathematicians are not a statistically representative sample
I'll see your accusation of small sample space, and raise you every quant that priced MBS and CDS. This is coming from someone that holds a MSFE, but at least I realize the idiocy of models built with assumptions.
Whenever I read these stories I think of the little talk between Peter and Michael in "Office Space" on what they would do if they had a million dollars (career was based on this answer):
"I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech."
"No, you're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars."
There has to be garbage men, there has to be coal miners, there has to be truck drivers. The jobs suck (most likely, i've never done them!) but someone HAS to do it or else the whole fucking thing doesn't work (no power, no Chinese trinkets delivered to WalMart, garbage piled up in the streets)... We can't all be mathematicians, dental assistants, etc... aren't those jobs really the icing on the cake...the real fucking workers are the ones hauling in big loads, the farmers, the oil workers... the guys with hair on their asses and big nutsacks.
It's interesting that the people who do the actual, physical work get paid the least.
economists make more than mathmeticians and they have the apex math career if they work for banksters. there is no finer profession than bullshit with numbers.
Economics is a difficult career choice, though, what with the required lying and loss of integrity thingies.
Nobody think the Fed's rally monkey isn't a good job?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmfE4KAZicY
I suppose "stationar engineer" being in th dustbin may hold true for Detroit, but not enough can be found in my parts. Never ever had to look forwork doing that.
I don't buy it. Computers do math so humans don't have to. And dental hygienists at #6?
This new learning fascinates me. Tell me again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
Speech Pathologist - "I hear dead people."
Mrs. Silencer used to work with hedge fund hyena mathemeticians on wall street. She told me they made astronomical money, writing the high frequency trading bots. Crazy, crazy bread.
"Recent industry research indicates that 60% of IT budgets is spent on personnel costs, while 85% of IT management tasks are mundane and can be automated. Automating these activities can reduce operational costs dramatically."
Cognizant.
Yep, good-luck with that non elite STEM degree.