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America (According To Common Sense)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It's called a stereotype for a reason...

 

 

h/t AmazinMaps

 

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Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:35 | 4795629 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I don't think of California when thinking of oranges....

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:39 | 4795635 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Just all "fruits" in general.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:39 | 4795641 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

Hahahahaha! Yeah bro cuz like they're all GAY and stuff! High five!!!

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:43 | 4795652 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Low interest loans for all!

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:14 | 4795749 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Equating Oprah with Illinois is every bit as realistic as equating Chicago with Illinois. Down-state Illinois and Chicago are two entirely different worlds.

The "Land of Lincoln" is one of the most racist places I've ever encountered. In fact, that's the reason they didn't allow slavery. It was for whites only.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:17 | 4795763 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Thank God there are no race or hate crimes in Chicago.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:22 | 4795781 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Glad you could miss my point in order to display your misplaced attitude.

WTF?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:37 | 4795832 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Missing AK, HI, and, like, seven other states

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:52 | 4795880 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Those missing States are the ones only Obozo has visited. Otherwise, there are 48 States shown on the map.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:22 | 4796333 Me.Grimlock
Me.Grimlock's picture

Where's the other 7?  Surely he's visited "all 57" states.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:45 | 4796080 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Chill man.   I think that was double sarc

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:17 | 4796180 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

I got your lame point

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 19:50 | 4796811 VAD
VAD's picture

No gun crimes either, cuz they're illegal and whatnot.  Verrrry safe with Mayor Tiny Dancer in charge.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:29 | 4795804 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... at this point I can only assume I'm getting downvotes from racists who don't like being reminded of it?

Someone, please enlighten me.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:45 | 4795861 chemystical
chemystical's picture

I can't speak to the other post's arrows, but one here was for being a whiny jackwad.  Go peddle your guilt elsewhere.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:49 | 4795871 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Whatever.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:41 | 4796066 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

It's a tough neighborhood here...,

especially if you tell them they are missing the point. ;-)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 19:29 | 4796757 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

Coon hunting is still a celebrated weekend family event in Mt Carmel

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 21:00 | 4796990 Balanced Integer
Balanced Integer's picture

I grew up in Mt. Carmel and went coon hunting with my bow almost every weekend in the summer. 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:19 | 4796183 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

+1 for the term "whiny jackwad"

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:43 | 4796381 Xanadu_doo
Xanadu_doo's picture

"jackwad" = brilliant.

 

CHEERS!

 

(PS: silver bitchez)

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:49 | 4795666 Bear
Bear's picture

No just the married ones

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:53 | 4795681 dirty belly
dirty belly's picture

Think of this: When you use the term 'GAY' in the context you describe, you are implying that you must know something of 'GAY'.

Some folks, including myself, know nothing of this 'GAY' you are implying, unless it is from the old Flintstones theme song: "We'll Have A Gay Old Time".

Tell us all you know of 'GAY'.

"That's so 'gay'." is an implied statement, IMPLYING knowlege of 'gay' in a different context of the meaning of happy.

So, Californians are 'GAY', meaning happy.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:17 | 4795758 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

...and evidently stoned like you.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:43 | 4796074 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Too funny..

(clean-up on isle one)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:22 | 4795779 Brutlstrudl
Brutlstrudl's picture

You protest too much

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:05 | 4796124 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

"So, Californians are 'GAY', meaning happy."

According to the late Gore Vidal, "dirty belly" is correct. Vidal pointed out on many occasions that "gay" is simply absurd AND that "homosexual" is an adjective as in 'a homosexual act' ... Vidal pointed out that the correct pronoun for a homosexual man would be "homosexualist" but of course fag and queer are also very popular.

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:51 | 4796398 Xanadu_doo
Xanadu_doo's picture

Maybe FAG is better. Or is that just a British cigarette?

 

FAG.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:13 | 4795743 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Its not that they are all gay, they just want to be....its so cool now, you know.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:18 | 4795769 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

They are, after all, special people.  The rest of us are just neanderthal plebes.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:56 | 4795888 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Technically, the tomato is a fag.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:09 | 4796152 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

Tomata du Plenty was a fag and a very talented one (here he is):

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0-w0hUnhpI

 

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:41 | 4795648 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Where's Vacation Paradise and Oil and Igloos?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:14 | 4795748 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Commiefornia, as I like to say; the land of fruits, nuts, and assorted flakes.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:23 | 4795786 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

And a few of us rugged, wild assed individuals that can't wait for it to burn. We will have front row seats to all the fun while all the rest of you can only watch.

Miffed;-)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:33 | 4795819 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Enjoy, I have extended family in Commiefornia but you'll never get me to live there.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:50 | 4796098 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ans #1- Five, one to screw in the light bulb and four to share in the experience.

Ans #2- Duh, Calfornians don't screw in light bulbs they screw in hot tubs.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:55 | 4796109 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two...but how in the heck do they get in there???

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:58 | 4795896 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

You'd be better off watching the flames from Montana.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:37 | 4796228 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

We have 100 acres of prime farmland in Washington on a fantastic well free and clear waiting for us. We can't even sell it because the water rights are strictly deeded to our family and revert to the neighboring landowner if sold to an outside party. We have contemplated drilling another well in case we must sell it but looking as the way things are going, that probably won't be necessary.

The trick is not waiting too long before we make our escape as those did in the 1930s in Germany.

Miffed;-)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:14 | 4796171 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Yes. After the Long Beach Oil Refineries are burned to the ground I think that Houston and New Orleans will make interesting targets. It may just be audience participation night, Miffed.

 

Pipelines are always nice too. I am glad that we can hop over the border to Mexico. It will be entertaining.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:07 | 4796300 August
August's picture

Kaleefornia: physical Paradise, societal Hell.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:40 | 4795643 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Chemical Dependency and  disillusional - Kalifornia 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:40 | 4795647 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

And that differs from the rest of the US, how?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:53 | 4795683 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Kalifornia = chemical dependency and disillusional

Rest of US = chemical dependency and disillusional and in denial about it

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:57 | 4795694 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

Muchos inmigrantes ilegales en California. Hablas español?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:59 | 4795900 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I had eggs and bacon. Why do you ask?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:40 | 4795645 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

Do you think of the majority of the food you eat? Or how about everything you do on the internet?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:15 | 4795968 zerocash
zerocash's picture

This is the new map of Europe after yesterday's EU elections, according to the Euro elite and libtard media:

http://www.geenstijl.nl/archives/images/europagroot.html

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 19:45 | 4796792 Tulpa
Tulpa's picture

What, no Norsefire for England?

Speaking of which, I was watching V4V on BBC America last night; chuckled once again at V's description of the young Sutler, "a young politician, devoutly religious but with no respect for process" -- obviously a stab at Bush 2, but other than the religious part it fits BO to a tee.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:28 | 4796347 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

California?  Not oranges...twinkies.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:39 | 4795636 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

These maps are never funny or interesting.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:01 | 4795708 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

It was worth reading all of them to find this gem:

"Lard reservoir"

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:01 | 4795709 buyingsterling
buyingsterling's picture

It was worth reading all of them to find this gem:

"Lard reservoir"

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:19 | 4795772 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

It had a couple of spots, but yeah....

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:40 | 4795646 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

where are the PORN maps of every state?  Now that could be a major game changer. 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:49 | 4795667 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Florida (Miami)

California (L.A.)

Every other state....with a legend reading.....* Cell Phone Porn

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:03 | 4795674 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Ask and you shall receive:

http://gizmodo.com/heres-all-the-dirty-details-on-americas-thriving-porn...

Check Kentucky. 

Oh and this, because if you were to assume that the most homophobic bible lovin' states also watch the most gay porn, you would be correct! I'm sure it's for research..

http://oscarloveslife.blogspot.ca/2011/12/bible-belt-states-lead-us-in-g...

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:12 | 4795738 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

...and if you were to assume that only a Marxist troll like James_Cole would research which states watch the most gay porn, you would be correct! 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:40 | 4795843 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Yep, bible thumping gay porn lovin' staunchly homophobic southerners are always good for some chuckles. 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:50 | 4795873 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

Yep, and Marxist quoting gay porn lovin' staunchly heterophobic white libtards are always good for some chuckles.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:02 | 4795915 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

You'll have to introduce me to some, they sound entertaining. 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:14 | 4795964 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

Just look in the mirror at your reflection, then laugh. 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:28 | 4796020 Raymond K Hessel
Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:58 | 4796406 Xanadu_doo
Xanadu_doo's picture

Also note the southern states searching "ebony"...

huh...

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 17:02 | 4796413 Xanadu_doo
Xanadu_doo's picture

Everyone likes teens, creampies and milfs.

Who likes "ebony"?

The South/Southeast.... 

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 19:11 | 4796717 moar beer..
moar beer..'s picture

Guess you've never been to the South, but there are quite a few blacks in these parts. Just saying.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:45 | 4795656 giggler321
giggler321's picture

It's a tough flip between the Badlands or Flying Saucers for my holiday

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:46 | 4795658 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

At least Montana finally lost it's association with sheep......

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:11 | 4795733 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

I always thought that was Wyoming.

Never mention "I banged a U" in certain company there when trying to say you made a U turn, or you might learn more about velcro gloves than you ever wished to know.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:12 | 4795737 New Ordnance
New Ordnance's picture

Yep. Montana looks about right. The grizzlies continue to eat a few yuppies and assorted environmentalists every season.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:16 | 4795756 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Nature in balance, as I say.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:47 | 4795661 toady
toady's picture

I don't get the wonder woman Arizona thing....

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:56 | 4795691 XitSam
XitSam's picture

I think it is because Linda Carter, who played Wonder Woman, is from Arizona. I used to work for her dad, Colby C. Carter.

Really hoping it is not for Janet Napolitano. Or Rose Mofford. :)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:12 | 4795952 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Might be a reference to McCain.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:31 | 4796357 toady
toady's picture

Yeah, I didn't know Linda Carter was from here. Learn something new every day!

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:10 | 4795727 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

I assumed it was for Brewer or perhaps Napolitano....unless , there is some porn star I am not aware of.  

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:28 | 4796022 Curt W
Curt W's picture

I always think hot n dry when I think AZ

Wonder Woman threw me off too.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:35 | 4796047 allgoodmen
allgoodmen's picture

Take a walkabout on the Arizona campus, especially down sorority row. You'll see for yourself. Although they might be hiding due to Rodgers.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:51 | 4796259 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The looks of them Sun Devil coeds beat those of the Mildpussies any day. You ought to go visit Tempe instead of that school down south.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:48 | 4795663 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Where's the escape route?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:53 | 4796271 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The states that border on Mexico and Canada. As for the rest of this fucked up Nation...you are on your own.

 

Burn baby burn.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:49 | 4795664 Telemakhos
Telemakhos's picture

I'm sorry, Virginia and furniture?  Louisiana and Atlantis?  Maryland and statisticians?  Ohio and swingers?

I don't even.  What was the cartographer smoking?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:50 | 4795670 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

One could easily categorize everything East of the Rockies and west of the Cascades as 'Shithole'.......

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:35 | 4795825 Wizard of Ozman
Wizard of Ozman's picture

You Sir are a Lunatic! Time for a road trip to places like Oregon,or Maine.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:42 | 4795852 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Eastern Oregon is okay. Same with Eastern Washington. I forgot about Maine (it's not hard to do you know) so it gets a pass. I cannot abide the political blight that overshadows the secenry of the West Coast......

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:55 | 4795688 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

You missed Washington DC, home of the Federal sociopathic lying scumbag politician, please forgive me for being so redundant in my description.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:57 | 4795696 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Mordor on the Potomac.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:18 | 4795768 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I like to think of it as "The Dandelion Spot."

No matter what, someday the dandelions will break through the last chunks of granite and marble, once again ruling supreme.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 12:57 | 4795697 allgoodmen
allgoodmen's picture

DC - Aristocrats

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:00 | 4795704 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Number 5 says Statisticians.

 

It should say retarded.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:02 | 4795707 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Maybe the angle it's going for is:

 

Lies, damned liars and statisticians.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:09 | 4795724 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That part is a given.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:00 | 4795705 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Uh, I'm in Massachusetts and as I drive around the word that comes to mind isn't "POSH".  Is there some other phrasing of "Space Available" where POSH would be the acronym?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:10 | 4795730 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Previously Occupied Spot Here?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:42 | 4795853 James
James's picture

Pretty Obvious Shit Happens

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:03 | 4795713 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Could be worse bitchez,

You could be a Pommie Limey Backward Cunt, just like me.....

Pommie??

You fucking racist bastards....

;-)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:19 | 4795716 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

Anti-immigrant parties may be rising in Europe, but in California there are the pro-immigrant parties (aka Democrats and Republicans). 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:07 | 4795721 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

canned sardines ???? ..... that's the best you got, buddy ....how you doing ?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:09 | 4796149 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Joisey has da govamitt corruption! Fuggeddaboutit!

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:18 | 4795770 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Flying saucers, LOL.  And yes, we do capitalize on that:

 

http://forteanswest.com/lowfi/new-mexico/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2010...

 

Brewed 30 or 40 miles east of me in Moriarty.  The three best things about that town are the brewery, the year round fireworks store and a restaurant called El Vaquero on Rt 66.  I've never eaten there.  I just like the name.  Other than those things, I would not recommend stopping there.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:21 | 4795774 Space Animatoltipap
Space Animatoltipap's picture

And all together the US is the territory of some schmucks in NY and the City of London.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 16:46 | 4795792 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

Colorado is now indelibly associated in the public mind with marijuana. "The Southern Rectangle" ought to read "Pot Smoking Legal Here." Apart from that, the bicoastal bobos know it only as "Aspen." Everyone under 35 knows it as "The Home of South Park."

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:26 | 4795797 observer007
observer007's picture

SEE HERE:

Obama wants new world order 2014

 

See video here (speech from today)

 

http://homment.com/obamawelt

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:30 | 4795809 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Bullshit... lol

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 13:52 | 4795863 sylviasays
sylviasays's picture

This map is outdated and reflects stereotypes from the last decade?

Michigan is no longer the land of bankrupt carmakers but more like the land of government automakers thanks to Barry and his union donors?  

Illinois is Oprah with the wind? Oprah retired to a massive estate near Santa Barbara. Illinois is now more associated with Democrats and their union and gangsta thugs? 

Certain parts of Minnesota look more like Somalia and Cambodia rather than Scandinavia?

Maybe lots of fake boobs in California, but orange groves? Most orange groves have been plowed under and paved over, but there are still plenty of fruits?

 

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 14:22 | 4795999 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Shouldn't Texas have the additional title of "shriveled", as it is in a 4 yr drought?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:32 | 4796217 WMM II
WMM II's picture

apparently i am getting so bored with zh, i'll click on anything.

 

 

:)

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 15:46 | 4796249 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Haha!  I live in "Chastity Pop"...

Ah thank that's funny, don't y'all?

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 18:53 | 4796669 Ranting Troglodyte
Ranting Troglodyte's picture

I know some very nice racists in South Carolina.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 19:21 | 4796741 pops
pops's picture

Armed? You bet.  God fearing?  No way.  He comes here talking trash, we'll kick his celestial ass.

Mon, 05/26/2014 - 23:12 | 4797339 falconflight
falconflight's picture

What a load of pure typically obtuse Leftist troll sewage.

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