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Market Timing With Dennis Gartman: "The Market Will Stop When It Stops, Not A Moment Before"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Renowned for something, Dennis Gartman has outdone himself once again (again). After explaining that bonds are rallying on pension fund rebalancing but stocks should not be lower and shorting bonds never works; the bearded market-timing philosopher gives a glimpse of the kind of insight that can only be purchased for $29.95: "the market will stop when it stops; not a moment before."

 

Here it is...grab the popcorn


 

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Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:39 | 4803733 Spungo
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His brain is stuck in the old normal. This is the new normal.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:45 | 4803749 max2205
max2205's picture

Jeff Mackey was great...'draw a fucking line up and don't sell until it breaks...oh and use a crayon to draw the line'

 

Even he was reduced to twitching and manic before the market broke..

Good times

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:04 | 4803833 dryam
dryam's picture

I can't figure out if Gartman knows everything about nothing, or he knows nothing about everything.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:09 | 4803850 NoDebt
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"Renowned for something, Dennis Gartman..."

Best opening line in a long time.  Dead on.  Love it.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:35 | 4803925 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

I agree with his analysis; I too believe the market will keep going up unless it goes down.  

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:41 | 4803945 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Bold Fucking call!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 03:30 | 4804631 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

A mile wide and an inch deep no matter how you look at it.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:44 | 4803751 Keyser
Keyser's picture

I'm beginning to think that Gartman and Cramer are the same person...

 

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:29 | 4803915 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Gartman ist he calm one.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:58 | 4803812 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Enlightening?

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:15 | 4803879 TheBoyPlunger
TheBoyPlunger's picture

Still waiting for that $85 WTI crude Gartman was predicting back on Nov 6th:

http://dennisgartman.blogspot.com/2013/11/selling-any-short-term-bounces...

 

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:46 | 4803740 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Tyler should post this underneath the cnbc vid as an open question to Gartman

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SoWNMNKNeM

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:49 | 4803770 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

I am impressed at the magnitude of the effort undertaken to at all costs get the conversation off of Michael Lewis.

They gave him 48 hrs and then their advertisers spoke and that was it -- there shalt be no other suggestion that the market is anything but humans negotiating deals.

Regardless of HFT volume.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:55 | 4803798 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

It is all illusion now.

But that's what the people want, so that's what they get.

Reality is going to show up one of these days and I really am going to take some time off from tilting at windmills to sit back and watch everyone's heads explode. That will be fucking amazing.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:45 | 4803746 Flying Wombat
Flying Wombat's picture

Yeah, and Tylers, when you identify just what it is he's renowned for, please do tell.  Meanwhile, I'll be working on the age old question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.  I normally wouldn't bash anyone, but Gartman is a grade-A ass hole when it comes to how he attacks precious metals investors.   ...and he does it while at the same time maintaining a groomed public image of being an uber-nice guy.  

--

Eric Dubin, Managing Editor, The News Doctors

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:31 | 4803918 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Gartman was laughed off the stage the only time he ever spoke at the Cambridge House Conference in Vancouver, BC several years ago. I was there, and it was comical. And you're right, he is an asshole too.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:44 | 4803748 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Truly ,a legend in his own mind.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:03 | 4803830 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Gartman:  "respect my authority".... oh that was Cartman.  My bad.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:46 | 4803754 Big Brother
Big Brother's picture

"the market will stop when it stops; not a moment before." - aphorism much?

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:30 | 4803919 homiegot
homiegot's picture

That's clairvoyance for you.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 23:17 | 4804254 jez
jez's picture

He's wrong yet again. According to my infallible calculations, the market will in fact stop exactly 1.3 moments before it stops.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:48 | 4803763 NoDecaf
NoDecaf's picture

up up and away....to infinity and beyond!

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:57 | 4803806 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Toy Story - Buzz Lightyear - To infinity and Beyond
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejwrxGs_Y_I (0:36)

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:49 | 4803766 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Now I am forced to sell 20,000 Big S&P's tomorrow.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 23:11 | 4804230 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

I now expect a major market meltdown tomorrow- Friday at the latest.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:53 | 4803785 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

"the market will stop when it stops"

Damn that pretty much wraps up the Nobel Prize in Economics right there.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:54 | 4803789 hegemony
hegemony's picture

Gartman is "pleasantly" a moron but come on Cramer is the face of the whole network. I NEVER get tired of perusing this manifesto

http://www.thestreet.com/story/891820/1/the-winners-of-the-new-world.html

 

Most of these companies don't even have earnings per share, so we won't have to be constrained by that methodology for quarters to come.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 20:55 | 4803794 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

The Muppets - Popcorn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvDvTnTGjgQ (3:25)

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:00 | 4803819 NDXTrader
NDXTrader's picture

Well, he's been the perfect contrarian indicator. He went long around 1880 the first time, short around 1840, long around 1900, short at 1850 and now long around 1900...does he secretly work for Goldman?

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:08 | 4803822 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

she even calls him on his bs halfway through. utterly clueless as always.

hey dennis, the bond and stock markets rose lockstep for thirty years but now you are suddenly expecting a medium term inverse correlation?

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:12 | 4803863 nosoeawe
nosoeawe's picture

the stroke bus is about 20 minutes overdue at the gartman stop

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:13 | 4803867 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

That is so Yogi Berra.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:15 | 4803873 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

That;s worth $400 a month! Or you could flip a coin and be guarantted to be 400 buckeroos to the good on Day #1.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:15 | 4803875 Azwethinkweiz
Azwethinkweiz's picture

Everyone who pays for the Gartmen Letter should be granted an honory Darwin Award.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:17 | 4803882 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

The sellers are just balancing their ports due to too much stock profit.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:23 | 4803900 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Gartman rhymes with Cartman rhymes with Fartman.

 

Taper in June - unless Yellen feels the need for a 2500 S&P with negative GDP and 50M Americans on food stamps.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:24 | 4803902 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Dennis Gartman can lay on his back to forecast financial autofellatio HFT trading waves.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:26 | 4803905 Sticky Wicket
Sticky Wicket's picture

"My predictions will be correct when they are correct, not a moment before"

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 01:21 | 4803921 Frilton Miedman
Frilton Miedman's picture

I watched it live.

More noteworthy than the "It'll stop when it stops" comment was his acknowledgement that he keeps getting it wrong...so he called for a bull solely to be contrarian to his own judgement.

If I were to guess, he uses his air time to dupe home gamers to the benefit of his clientelle the same way Cramer used to call in stocks for Bartiromo to pump on air so he could dump them.

If that's the case, it's time to batten down the hatches, it's correctin' time.

 

 

 

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:41 | 4803936 Magooo
Magooo's picture

I hear Gartman is making his hollywood debut soon --- he is starring in the remake of 'Being There'

 

He wouln't even have to act to do this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcPQ9gww_qc

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 21:47 | 4803960 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

didn't Gartman make a bearish call about 50 handles ago? now he says hop on the train...lol!

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 22:50 | 4804158 booboo
booboo's picture

Bet he wasn't wearing any pants in that interview and was fondeling Mr. Winky.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 22:52 | 4804163 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

Copy. Stand by to Stand by. Market collapse in: five...four.....three.........two..........one........

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 23:50 | 4804344 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Wow, heavy!

Bet ya the monkey throwing darts on a wall full of dates is more acurate than Gartman.

His name sounds too close to Cartman of South Park.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 00:04 | 4804370 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

Fartman trying to get in the top 5 of CNBC dungheap...tall order.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 01:43 | 4804542 basho
basho's picture

"the market will stop when it stops; not a moment before."

he gets paid for this kind of BS?

he has an audience that listens to this BS?

doesn't take much these days to satisfy the exceptional ones does it? LMAO

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 04:19 | 4804664 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

Gartman looks just like the croupier he is.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 06:57 | 4804777 eddiebe
eddiebe's picture

The bond and stock markets will stop going up when the Central banks decide they stop. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 07:45 | 4804862 kurt
kurt's picture

Hey!

Stop picking on Gartman. Somehow his fate is to be who, and where, he is. I like to look at him like a rune which you interpret according to your own cosmology.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 08:37 | 4804993 Police Commissi...
Police Commissioner Jacobs's picture

I was his neighbor for a few years in Suffolk, Va. Pretty nice guy personally, though I never could get my head around what it was exactly for which he was renowned.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 02:39 | 4808748 PiratePiggy
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"It's always good to be Sean."

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:02 | 4808809 bigprofitbuzz
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