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Ballmer Baller: Former Microsoft CEO To Buy Clippers For $2 Billion: 2nd Highest Price Paid For Any US Sport Team Ever

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Former MSFT CEO, Steve Ballmer, who earlier was said to have put in a $1.8 billion bid for the LA Clippers, is reported to have won the bidding war for the troubled sports team, and will shelve out a massive $2 billion: a record price for any NBA team, and four times the $550 million that was paid earlier this month for the Milwaukee Bucks. It is also the second highest price ever paid for any US sports team, only behind the $2.1 billion paid for the Dodgers in 2012.

From the LA Times:

Former Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer won a frenetic bidding war for ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers, with his $2-billion offer setting a record price for an NBA team, The Times has learned. Ballmer, who was chief executive of Microsoft for 14 years, was chosen over competitors that included Los Angeles-based investors Tony Ressler and Steve Karsh and a group that included David Geffen and executives from the Guggenheim Group, the Chicago-based owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

 

A person with knowledge of the negotiations said the Geffen group bid $1.6 billion and Ressler at $1.2 billion.

 

The sale price is almost four times the highest previous NBA franchise sale price -- the $550 million paid earlier this month for the Milwaukee Bucks. It is second only to the Dodgers' 2012 sale for $2.1 billion as the highest price for any sports team in North America.

 

The prospective sale by Clippers co-owner Shelly Sterling comes five days ahead of an NBA hearing to oust her family from ownership following a controversy in which Donald Sterling insulted African-Americans in a secret audio recording.

There appears to be one contingency: the approval of Donald Sterlin whose rant caused the forced transaction in the first place:

The tentative deal still must receive the blessing of her husband, Donald Sterling, who has waxed and waned on the question of whether he would allow his wife to sell the team he has controlled for more than three decades. The deal also needs the eventual approval of 29 other NBA owners, but is expected to clear that hurdle as long as Ballmer reaffirms his pledge to keep the team in Los Angeles and not move it to Seattle, where he lives.

As for Ballmer, he will be the proud owner of an NBA franchise for a measly 10% of his net worth:

Ballmer, 58, left the software giant in February and has an estimated net worth of $20 billion. Unlike other bidders, he did not immediately seek out partners for the purchase of the Clippers.

 

Ballmer last year joined a group, led by hedge fund manager Chris Hansen, to bid on the Sacramento Kings, intending to move the team to Seattle. NBA owners voted to reject the proposed move.

 

The businessman said in a recent interview that he had no intention of moving the Clippers. He said that the high valuations for the team only made sense in Los Angeles -- the second biggest media market in the country.

Oh well, nothing like a little bidding frenzy among billionaires to change one's mind about what a "fair valuation" is. Some of the more cynically inclined are already wondering whether the Clippers will be instantly worth $3 billion the moment Ballmer announces his retirement.

In other news: welcome to the basket bubble.

Finally, who else can't wait for the Clippys get pumped to this ritual before every game?

 

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Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:38 | 4807873 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

He'll run it into the ground just like he did with Microsoft.

Can that dude negotiate a price or what?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:39 | 4807886 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The only NBA team that Blue Screens.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:40 | 4807889 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The L.A. Ctrl-Alt-Deletes

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:44 | 4807904 knukles
knukles's picture

Why would he wanaa own a barber shoppe chain?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:50 | 4807926 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

what inflation ? !

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:53 | 4807941 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

this IS an Onion headline , right ? ? ?     ;>)

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:54 | 4807946 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Reality has caught up with The Onion.  Their business model is in serious jeopardy.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:23 | 4808034 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Modern day slave trading for the wealthy merchant class.

Wealthy douchebag Mark Cuban pits his gladiators against wealthy douchebag Steve Ballmer's gladiators.

Same thing, just less blood & gore (we've become such pussies as a race).

I am Chumbawmaba.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:32 | 4808061 RevRex
RevRex's picture

I'll be a slave that shoots a ball through a hoop for a million a year, no problem.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:45 | 4808093 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

For every one of those there's 100,000 who never did homework or learned a skill - and failed to grasp the brass ring; and they'll kill for a pair of Nike's.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:17 | 4808172 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Why I will never own a pair of Nike's, British Knight's, or Reebok Pumps.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:50 | 4808303 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Are the Clippers the team with the Negroes?  And the owners' assistants are Harpies?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:03 | 4808337 Pie rre
Pie rre's picture

Chump change for him

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:16 | 4808377 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

See?  It pays to be a bigot.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:05 | 4808599 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

And they say that they don't ring a bell at the top!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:04 | 4808501 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

NEWS FLASH: Old Jewish men really don't like blacks.

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:07 | 4808676 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

But what about Welcome Back Kotter, the teacher he cared about the brother in the classroom, please tell  me he wasn't faking it.  I guess as long as he sat the white girls away from the brother it was all good.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:43 | 4808090 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Precisely.

And if you don't let your girlfriend cavort with the slaves - your galdiator school will be taken away from you.

Ballmer is a Class A dope - proof that the corporatocracy rewards "go along to get along" mediocrity.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:14 | 4808154 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

 

 

Cue that ugly photo of Ballmer with his tongue sticking out...

What a holier-than-thou uber-rich shit!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808193 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Liberalism and political correctness has a noose around every white males nuts.  You have to belong to a certain class, the I can afford to raise my kids with a black nanny class.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:37 | 4808245 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Deals like this say the speculative business and investment top is in, or one shot away.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:31 | 4808404 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

But there's nothing wrong with the biz model of its current owner:  Bought at $23M and "forced" to sell at "Billions"?

Boo-hoo, kitty!  Think about it ZHers...

Without the "scandal", he never would have had the free publicity, the buzz and the feeding frenzy.  His Madison Ave Ad Man (Mad Man), his Agent and his Lawyer deserve a Nobel Prize in Economics.

Boy are some people naive and gullible!  [rolls eyes, facepalm]

- Kirk out.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:59 | 4808589 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

Ballmer likeness... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1FLZPFI3jc

I have no respect for Ballmer especially after giving the NSA complete access to Microsoft customers via Windows 8.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:54 | 4807949 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The LA Clippys!
Say what you will, but I'll tell you, NOBODY gives a pep-talk like this man.

Gonna be epic.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:00 | 4807963 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI2LVI4xgvs

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:49 | 4808107 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

LOL, love that clip.

"It looks like you're writing a letter."

Some of Gilbert Gottfried's best work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv0nxHad-Eg

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:29 | 4808049 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Sterling got the boot...for this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I14b-C67EXY

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:11 | 4808606 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That never gets old.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:35 | 4808241 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

I hate the dog, too.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:03 | 4808334 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

A perfect example how a Fool and his Money are soon parted...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:29 | 4809141 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

Easy come, easy go...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:58 | 4808671 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I knew old Steve was rich, but dayum! - now I know he's nigger rich!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 11:02 | 4809450 markpower49
markpower49's picture

Any white man who is a fan of the NBA is also a fan of race cuckold porn. Pathetic sniveling cowards.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:42 | 4808089 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Sterling is genius. GENIUS!

Top of the market valuation. All by saying a few words about the brown people.

Cuban next? I don't think, personally speaking, he's that smart though. Looks confused a lot lately.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:12 | 4808365 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Fat monkey rising. 

The prelude...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:12 | 4808157 Bro of the Sorr...
Bro of the Sorrowful Figure's picture

CONSPIRACY THEORY! leaked on purpose. boom $2 billion sale. genius. haha

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:26 | 4808206 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

When the game is over, you have to click on the Start button. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 02:06 | 4808729 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

There's a sucker born everu minute.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:37 | 4807875 Stackers
Stackers's picture

If I make a bunch of racist remarks he can come buy my company for 4 times what its worth too.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:24 | 4808041 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

Hey! The lesson I have learned here is, it pays well to use the N word!!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:39 | 4808255 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Naggers"?!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:12 | 4808610 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Actually, he never used the N word.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:37 | 4807876 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

maggot

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:50 | 4807929 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

TOOL

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:37 | 4807880 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

So this must mark the peak for professional basketball.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:38 | 4807883 free_as_in_beer
free_as_in_beer's picture

No Russian bidders?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:41 | 4808086 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

No black bidders? Maybe that was racist too.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:38 | 4807884 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Knew a couple of underlings who worked for Sterling. Nasty old fart but he still managed to fall into this shit and still come up smelling like a ro$e.

NBA is a rigged game - sports bettors often say - and I tend to agree.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:36 | 4808243 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

But the sheeple love it!

And if it's rigged, it's even better!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:51 | 4808662 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ah the NBA. I love to watch them play with the basketballs and run hither and yon, then jump up and force the basketballs into the goal.

Yessir, as a white male who isn't gay, I love to watch the sweaty black men undulate across the wooden arena field.

Often I scalp large amounts of my net pay for the enjoyment of actually being there in person - that's me, the skinny white guy wearing a jersey of a famous basketballs player; see me smile and wave!

When I learn I am in the presence of a ... Human who actually watches the NBA basketballs games, the gigantic shit-eating grin that blossoms unbidden on my mug isn't because I'm laughing uncontrollably inside, it's because I've found another fellow traveler who shares my passion for sport in general, and the basketballs in particular.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:39 | 4807888 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Steve Ballhead...an LA outsider.

One can ask why none of those Hollywood cheapskates, you know, the ones always depicted in TV shows sitting coutside, stepped up and bought the home team?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:41 | 4807892 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

They're all afraid of being caught using the word nigger on tape by their mistresses.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:48 | 4807919 knukles
knukles's picture

Jack Nicholson....
I could just hear the rants...
"Listen, LeRoy, cut the "toof fairy shit" with me.  If you can't fucking jump high enough, then ...."

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:15 | 4808001 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

Is this for real? 2 billion dollars for some basketball players? When will the madness end... when?

The west coast is choking with automobile traffic, there is no decent public transport and no decent railway system but 2 billion for basketball...


 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:42 | 4807893 knukles
knukles's picture

First Paul Allen and now Ballmer.
Guess when ya' Really Got Money.....

BTW, is it just me, but don'tch think Microsoft oughta be controlled like a public uiility?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:44 | 4807903 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well, there's no way anyone is buying Windows 8 without the government mandating it.  So, yeah, might as well make them a public utility.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:45 | 4807906 knukles
knukles's picture

Or the Rosskies and Chinee Not Buying It

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:08 | 4808354 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Buy it ? They don't even bother to pirate it...

Windows 8 must be the least pirated program in the entire Microsoft history.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:49 | 4807925 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"Well, there's no way anyone is buying Windows 8 without the government mandating it.  So, yeah, might as well make them a public utility."

You were saying.....

 

News and Articles Upgrading Microsoft Software Is as Serious as HIPAA Compliance June 4, 2013  |  posted by Michelle A. Dick

If your practice needs a “good” reason to upgrade your old Microsoft operating system, here’s one: Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) compliance. On April 8, 2014 Windows XP will no longer have Microsoft support, and in 2015, Microsoft Server 2003 will follow suit. Because security updates will cease and Microsoft will no longer bail you out to fix issues, your medical data security will be vulnerable to viruses and electronic personal health information hacking, putting you at risk of HIPAA violation.

As per HIPAA Security Rule section 164.308(a)(5)(ii)(B), health care entities must have in place “procedures for guarding against, detecting, and reporting malicious software.” Failing to upgrade to a secure operating system means you are using “malicious software” and in violation of adhering to HIPAA Security Rules.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:51 | 4807932 knukles
knukles's picture

Ah hah!

aaaaaaarrrraaaagggghhhhhhhhhh.........

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:53 | 4807942 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Yeah.  That sounds about right.  Gotta love central planning.  If it wasn't for those genuses protecting and watching over us, we'd all be broke and homeless by now.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:25 | 4808042 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

They gotta make sure you upgrade to all the latest and greatest NSA backdoor upgrades.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:46 | 4808288 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

We went to windows7.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:44 | 4807900 Platinum
Platinum's picture

LOL. In line with paying $8.5 billion for Skype. Enjoy the expensive turd you've purchased.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:46 | 4807911 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Yeah, that's pretty much the same pattern I'm seeing.  Pay way too much, do nothing useful with it, sell it at pennies on the dollar a few years later (or just shut it down and sweep under the rug).

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:23 | 4808200 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Kind of like they are dismantling something, isn't it?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:45 | 4807908 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Sterling paid 12.5 mil for the team. That's a 15900% profit. Yeah...being a rich racist jew is very very profitable in amerika.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:20 | 4808028 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Does that cunt with the visor go with the deal?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:24 | 4808203 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

That bitch goes where ever she is told to go. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:46 | 4807912 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Will this ever end?

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:49 | 4807927 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

You must be new here.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:09 | 4807989 knukles
knukles's picture

lol

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:01 | 4807965 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

if by "end" you mean "go on forever" then, yes, it will.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:46 | 4807913 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:53 | 4807940 Jumbotron
Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:57 | 4807955 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

The creator of Ctrl-Alt-Del.....

"I may have created it.....but Bill made it famous"

LOL !!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE&index=3&list=RDVhh_GeBPOhs

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:02 | 4807970 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Grass Valley Greg and My Dead Gay Son

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5i6BHBuqxE

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:55 | 4808586 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Awesome.  If you knew that developers were going to make you worth more than $20B you'd get that excited too

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:45 | 4808092 edifice
edifice's picture

I think the sweaty armpits do it for me... and the Caesar harline.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:53 | 4808115 NoPantsSpongeBob
NoPantsSpongeBob's picture

I feel like he wanted to come off as a technology evangelist but took evangelism part a bit too literally.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:53 | 4808309 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Center! Center! Center! Center! Center! Center! Center! Center! -Steve Ballmer

Or maybe...

WAAAOOWW! WOOOOO! WAWAWDAJFPO EIUGHPOSIUEHRF! I love this basketball team!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:46 | 4807915 I am Jobe
I am Jobe's picture

Does this mean XP will be supported? 

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:50 | 4807928 knukles
knukles's picture

I just spit on the screen and keyboard.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:06 | 4807980 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Does this mean XP will be supported?

Only if he's 6'11' and can dunk.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:51 | 4807933 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So, a white guy who screws all colors financially (no XP product support) is gonna buy the Clippers from a white guy who pays to screw all colors physically...but just likes to keep that activity on the down-low.

lol...sure, why not.

In other white guy news, Apple bought Dr.Dre's horrible headphone company, not because they are at best mediocre (that would be bad business) but because people actually buy an awful product based on image not functionality.

WTF ya gonna do? ;-)

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:53 | 4808099 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

And yet CNBC will celebrate both transactions as

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:23 | 4808169 nmewn
nmewn's picture

...BULLISH!!!

Without the slightest bit of societal soul searching, raw numbers of nothingness mean so much to them.

They're paid very well to be just common propagandists ;-)

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:54 | 4807934 deflator
deflator's picture

 I have a Steve Ballmer "autographed" edition of Windows 7 ultimate 32bit and 64bit that is good for installation on 10 different machines for free. Can't really say anything bad about Steve except thanks! and sorry that I didn't have that, "Windows 7 party" lol

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:55 | 4807950 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

who fucking cares....

we in a mother fucking depression.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 19:55 | 4807951 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Hes just doing his part to boost the gdp...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:01 | 4807966 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

After the $$ changes hands and champagne flows, I wonder if V. Stiviano will get a kickback?

If not for her illegal wiretap . . .

Probably another lawsuit from the Sterlings.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:03 | 4807971 Tulpa
Tulpa's picture

It would be hilarious if he moves them to Seattle now.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:19 | 4808021 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

I hope they move to Seattle

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:30 | 4808226 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

And get Spencer Heywood back ... sorry flashback.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:01 | 4808808 mc225
mc225's picture

main seattle rag (the times) is saying there's no way cali lets the clippers go.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:04 | 4807974 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

There!  That will teach Donald Sterling a lesson. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:11 | 4807995 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Most people who get lynched by a slimy, skinny bald-headed prick heeb with an inferiority complex do not come out with $2 Billion... hope he spends a few thou to have the megaslut gold digger Botox horror Vi beaten to a pulp.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:12 | 4808004 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"The L.A. Zunes."

"Before you enter we will need to 'validate' your ticket and may do it intermittently throughout the game. Please don't be alarmed if you are told that you have an invalid ticket, just pay again, and continue to enjoy the game."

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:12 | 4808159 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"The L.A. Zunes."

Wouldn't that be the shit....if the players all came out with Zunes.....bought on Ebay....since the Zune is now defunct.

And it would be even better if they were all wearing Beats headphones which is now owned by Apple.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:16 | 4808014 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

everybody, take a hint, and learn from the best

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:19 | 4808026 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

best of what exactly??

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:32 | 4808060 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I guess you missed the part where the douche bag got a bid of 2 billion USD for a pretty lame ass basketball team?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:00 | 4808592 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

He actually thinks he's getting the LAkers

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:23 | 4808015 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

while many proletariat and peasants will remark that he (said owner) got a good 'price', this is rubbish. 

 

the money is worthless, all he got was 1 billion dollar tax bill and forcibly removed from owning an INCOME BEARING ASSET heading into a major inflationary period. so he can take 1 billion after tax sales price and plow it into what,....treasuries? at 3% he would making a measily 30 million a year pretax interest. i mean i don't feel bad for this fucker at all, nor do i care how rich or poor he is. but he got pushed out of owning a team-----------in favor of 30 million a year in 'risk free' and 'work free' income. 

if i were him, i'd take all 1 billion and buy 20 metric tons of gold and just put it in a vault in switzerland to invest it AFTER world war 3. then again, that would be an investment in his heirs , not the present. 

what the fuck do you do with money when you are 85? you can bet a whole BUNCH of jewish non-profit organization are already making plans to solicit this guy for donations. how do i know, i'm jewish and i know these organizations. he is their bread and butter. and old jew with money. like a ripe pork chop. with bacon. irresistable to jews. totally KOSHER. 

that said------should times get hard, the clippers will probably go bankrupt as every last person switches allegiance to the Lakers. 

 

LA can profitabbly have two teams and seatle cannot even have one?

 

the realities of hard times and inflationary fuckage of the old owners does not necessarily comport with the realities of hard times economics going forwards. 

margin compression is coming for all businesses. nba tickets----advertising reveneus, even the hotdog and concessions. 

you can raise prices on hotdogs to 8 dollars a piece but in the end you will have a smaller and smaller group of buyers, till your concession stand needs only one worker to satisfy the demand, and eventually no workers. because no demand. 

that which holds true for the lowly concession stand holds true for the economics of the entire team as a whole.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:28 | 4808047 One And Only
One And Only's picture

EEEEHHHHHHH! Wrong

"all he got was 1 billion dollar tax bill"

Donald Sterling’s Last Laugh: Force Him to Sell the Clippers and He Could Pay No Taxes

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/05/donald-sterling-s-last-...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:32 | 4808062 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

DID YOU EVEN FUCKING READ THE ARTICLE. HIS PROPERTY IS NOT BEING FORCIBLY CONVERTED AND THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THE IRS WOULD NOT FIGHT HIM ON ANY ATTEMPT NOT TO PAY FULL TAXES ON THIS SALE. 

 

IF HE WANTS TO AVOID TAX, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO COURT. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING MORON. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:47 | 4808085 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Uh.

Yes. He is being forced to sell his team (his property) by the NBA. Maybe you missed that part.

You're a stupid cunt.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:26 | 4808209 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

OMG I think this might be right - he could certainly argue it, and why not, it passes the time.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:24 | 4808201 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Court?! LOL

Who controls the IRS?! Who owns the courts?!

Slam dunk for Sterling. Pun intended.

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808194 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

From 5-5-14:

With this strong platform, the Clippers could sell for $1 billion. Just consider two other NBA teams—worse performers in much smaller markets—that sold in the past year: the Sacramento Kings ($534 million) and Milwaukee Bucks ($550 million). So Sterling, who paid only $12.5 million for the team back in the 1980s, may be able to lock in a 100-fold return on his investment.

If Sterling had voluntarily sold the team for $1 billion, he would have owed about $200 million in federal income tax and another $123 million in California state income tax. But thanks to a tax law that applies only to forced sales or other “involuntary conversions,” Sterling’s profits may all be tax-free.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/05/donald-sterling-s-last-...

He is getting 3 to 4 times what it's worth, and since there are people from Ashkenazi involved, I would not put it past him to have engineered this.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:33 | 4808070 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Sooooooooo.........what you're saying is that a "whole BUNCH of jewish non-profit organization" are the equivalent of vultures waiting for the d-bag to die?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:35 | 4808071 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

oh for godssake please wake the fuck up: a sport team for 2 billion dollars in a country which has no decent train system, no decent public transportation system. i'm so fucking sick of americans

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808195 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I thought that infrastructure thingy got fixed with a trillion dollar shovel-ready debt bomb.

Did someone lie to us, again?

If you like your trains/busses/bridges you can keep them! ;-)

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:42 | 4808271 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Did someone lie to us, again?"

It's not lying if it's bullshit. I looked it up.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:45 | 4808285 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I stand corrected! ;-)

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:42 | 4808572 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

It's not lying if it's bullshit.   LOL!!!  I'm putting that on a T-Shirt.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:11 | 4808605 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Licensing fee: $2Bil. ;-)

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:20 | 4809114 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Will you take a check ?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:04 | 4808057 Chief Wonder Bread
Chief Wonder Bread's picture

Successful bidders in a bidding war always feel buyers remorse but this looks like a match made in heaven. Ballmer Ball will be way better than with that cankerous leech in control. I don't know anything about ticket prices to attend Clippers games but they couldn't have been that much in demand. What's next? Trickle-down ticket price bumps? It had to be built into the franchise bid.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:33 | 4808063 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

 

 

. . . 1) Buy NBA team for next to nothing.

. . . 2) Fuck some ladyboy-looking money-grubbing bitch.

. . . 3) Fling some stupid ass racial nonsense.

. . . 4) Sell the NBA team for 2 billion dollars

 

Is this a great country, or what the fuck?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:36 | 4808073 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Hear, hear!

My thoughts exactly!

Everyone raise their glass, to the conspiracy boys.

Up next, Ballmar demands brand new LA sports complex or he'll move his team to Seattle.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:41 | 4808264 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Pat Robertson said you don't have to pay taxes on a forced sale. Pat said.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:44 | 4808284 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Up next, Ballmar demands brand new LA sports complex or he'll move his team to Seattle."

Hey, how'd you get a hold of the script?!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:54 | 4808072 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

So, what are the Dodgers really worth? Didn't they come with Chavez Ravine, Stadium and all?

 

IF he really is paying $2B can they really vote against a move to Seattle?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:39 | 4808256 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Maybe soccer will get a foothold in the US after all. Fertile ground.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808101 JR
JR's picture

Just keeping the money “all in the family.”

Silicon Valley is merely an annex of Hollywood/LA and a story of “money so big that more of Obama’s 2012 campaign haul came from California than from any other state,” where the City of San Jose just increased its minimum wage from $10.00 to $10.15 per hour effective January 1, 2014.

Silicon Valley, where Google and industries of six of the world’s ten richest Jewish entrepreneurs reign supreme: industries owned by Larry Ellison (Oracle), Michael Bloomberg (Bloomberg L.P.), Sergey Brin (Google), Lawrence Page (Google), Steve Ballmer (Microsoft), Michael Dell (Dell Inc.)…

After Bill Gates sold 4.6 million Microsoft shares recently, lowering his holdings to 330,141,164 shares in the company, former CEO Steve Ballmer now owns more Micosoft shares than he does, 333,252,990 shares.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:55 | 4808118 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Let's see the terms of the $2B sale. Betting that douche Billy Crystal was a throwin to seal zee deal. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 20:54 | 4808120 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Is he the dude that was in Young Frankenstein?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:37 | 4808246 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

he was awesome in Everyone Loves Raymond.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:11 | 4808153 Wilcox1
Wilcox1's picture

Prolly a bargain for that Ballmer guy, tons of recent publicity and he's the best cheerleader I have ever seen.  

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:12 | 4808156 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

Cocaine is a helluva drug!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:20 | 4808186 user2011
user2011's picture

Good,  continue to have good reason not to watch NBA.   Anything microsoft touches suck.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:42 | 4808267 logicalman
logicalman's picture

The only time MSft will make anything that doesn't suck will be when they make vacuum cleaners.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:48 | 4808295 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Modeled after Apples's iFloorSucker, except it will not clean. But it will phone home with every bit of info about your house dimensions.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808196 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He'll replace all those highly paid black people with H-1Bs from India for about $30k/year and make his investment back in no time.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:26 | 4808208 Blood Spattered...
Blood Spattered Banner's picture

$2B for a team that up until the last 5 years was a laughingstock, and in the most fickle sports city in the world?

Did Ballmer vet this at all, or is this just some billionaire dick swinging?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:27 | 4808210 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

LOL....what a stupid ass.

2 billion dollars for a chump BB team.....LOL.....what a cunt

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:27 | 4808213 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

The Los Angeles 8.1's

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:28 | 4808220 darteaus
darteaus's picture

BTFATH

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:00 | 4808327 zen0
zen0's picture

The important thing is that everyone can go back to thinking diversity is strength, and not the sowing of the seeds of ethinic warfare when the gravy train derails.

 

Nap time, kiddies.!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:02 | 4808333 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

1033 involuntary conversion

$ 2 BILLION Tax free $$$,  LOL

THANKS MAGIC...THANX BITCH.  

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:03 | 4808336 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Saved the NBA with that bid. Had it been $1.2 bn, sterling would have sued for anti-trust. There are triple damages with an anti-trust suit. At $2bn, sterling walks away whole after tax.

If it had sold for $1.2bn, sterling would have sued and won an additional $900bn in damages.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:04 | 4808340 kurt
kurt's picture

It's a gang and Balmer has been assigned the property. The property didn't actually change hands, just the name on the documents. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:08 | 4808353 10mm
10mm's picture

Ok. So this guy is half dead already, acting like a retard. Grown man acting like a boy. Regardless, this is what were up against. What we have here is a lost soul. Could be you are me, i am not judgeging. Am i suppose to be enlightened by this?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:09 | 4808357 Duude
Duude's picture

$2B?  With that price Balmer shouldn't be expecting any appreciation for years. But that shouldn't be a problem for Balmer. He's had plenty of experience with a dead money investment.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:18 | 4808381 10mm
10mm's picture

It's what Murica loves.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:20 | 4808384 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

I could see 2 large for a football team in LA (I don't mean soccer).....but the Clippers?

Seriously?

It's gotta be for taxes, depreciation or something like that.

There's something I'm missing.

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