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How Britain Calculates Its Hooker "GDP Boost": 60,879 Prostitutes x 25 Clients Per Week x £67.16 Per Visit

Tyler Durden's picture




 

First it was Italy which, as we reported last week, had decided to "boost" its GDP by adding the estimated impact of cocaine and hookers. And now, riding on the coattails of this economics gimmick designed solely to make the economy appear more solvent, it is Britain's turn, whose Office for National Statistics will also add add up the "contribution" made by prostitutes and drug dealers.

According to the Guardian "for the first time official statisticians are measuring the value to the UK economy of sex work and drug dealing – and they have discovered these unsavoury hidden-economy trades make roughly the same contribution as farming – and only slightly less than book and newspaper publishers added together."

How big of a "contribution" by hookers and coke are we talking?

Illegal drugs and prostitution boosted the economy by £9.7bn – equal to 0.7% of gross domestic product – in 2009, according to the ONS's first official estimate.

 

A breakdown of the data shows sex work generated £5.3bn for the economy that year, with another £4.4bn lift from a combination of cannabis, heroin, powder cocaine, crack cocaine, ecstasy and amphetamines.

Here's the problem: since one can't put down on their tax return form that they have paid sex or deal drugs for a living, the ONS will have to estimate the economic contribution by these illegal professions. This is how it has gone about doing it:

According to the estimates there were 60,879 prostitutes in the UK in 2009, who had an average of 25 clients per week – each paying on average £67.16 per visit.

That's right: there is now an excel model to calculate what the hypothetical GDP boost to a nation is. Making things even more surreal, and confirming the GDP calculation is officially a statistical joke, here is how drugs are accounted for:

The statisticians reckon there were 2.2 million cannabis users in the UK in 2009, toking their way through weed worth more than £1.2bn. They calculate that half of that was home-grown – costing £154m in heat, light and "raw materials" to produce.

The models will need updating: "The ONS will work in the coming months to bring the data more up to date. The figures will then be included in the broad category of household spending on "miscellaneous goods and services" alongside life insurance, personal care products and post office charges."

It is unclear if the ONS will pay for its agents to conduct due diligence in various brothels, or alternatively conduct "inhouse" sessions at the headquarters.

What is clear is that quite soon the largest marginal provider of "growth" not just in Britain but all of Europe will be otherwise illegal activities:

The more inclusive approach brings the ONS into line with European Union rules, and will eventually allow comparisons of the size of the shadow economy in different member states.

 

Joe Grice, chief economic adviser at the ONS, said: "As economies develop and evolve, so do the statistics we use to measure them. These improvements are going on across the world and we are working with our partners in Europe and the wider world on the same agenda.

 

"Here in the UK these reforms will help ONS to continue delivering the best possible economic statistics to inform key decisions in government and business."

"Best possible" indeed.

Some are already using puns to justify the new methodology:

He said the ONS would attempt to "fill in the gaps" left by available studies but it would be impossible to measure illegal activities as accurately as other components of GDP. Other activities are measured using questionnaires but the response rate in the sex and drugs trades are unlikely to be high.

It is indeed unlikely.

Others are already spinning the justification:

Alan Clarke, a UK economist at Scotiabank, said that although the government would not feel the benefit of illegal work in terms of income tax take, there would be a spending boost. "A drug dealer or prostitute won't necessarily pay tax on that £10bn, but the government will get tax receipts when they spend their income on a pimped up car or bling phone."

Others are openly scratching their head at the New Hooker and Blow Normal:

Steve Pudney, professor of economics at the University of Essex, said he was sceptical about the methods used by the ONS to estimate the size of the drugs market.

 

"In my view, the ONS estimate of the size of the drug market is unlikely to be very accurate. It rests on some heroically large assumptions which would be difficult to test, and it also uses a measure of demand that is likely to understate systematically the true scale of drug use."

 

He added: "They are using a demand-side approach which loosely involves multiplying a survey estimate of the number of drug users by another estimate of the amount consumed by the average user.

 

"Average retail prices of drugs come from other sources – mainly police/customs/security service intelligence sources – and, multiplying this by the estimated demand, gives the size of the market in cash terms."

What Steve doesn't seem to get is that at this point all GDP numbers are about as made up as can be, and are merely fabricated on the spot to justify the prevailing economical narrative. Case in point: the history of Q1 2008 GDP revisions over time, as we showed earlier:

 

If nothing, it will certainly provide comedians with fresh joke fodder. This should at least boost their take home pay and result in higher disclosed taxes.

And since this is just the beginning for a world which is slowly coming to grips with just how insolvent its non-shadow economy is, we eagerly look forward to the next bold move by economist everywhere: estimating the number of undocumented drug dealer and prostitutes and adding them to the monthly nonfarm payroll total. Think of it as a Birth/Death adjustment. Only more like a Blowjob/Drugs adjustment.

 

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Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:05 | 4808141 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

and how much if she has good teeth?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:13 | 4808160 Deathrips
Deathrips's picture

If shes a crony...she'll fuck your ass for nothing...WTF?

 

Sigh.

 

RIPS

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:16 | 4808166 max2205
max2205's picture

Sin City the movie

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:24 | 4808202 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

 

What about the blow?  

How are you supposed to compare the UK with Italy if you don't count the blow?!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:26 | 4808211 Stackers
Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:39 | 4808253 cifo
cifo's picture

Hire escorts, support the economy, grow the facking GDP!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:56 | 4808318 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Who in hell paid you 16 pence Maise ?

All of them.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:59 | 4808829 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Hookers and coke, hookers and coke. 

I dedicate my life, to hookers and coke.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:55 | 4808316 Crawdaddy
Crawdaddy's picture

Classy people. The key identifier these days is "you know what I'm sayin?" When you hear that, run.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:17 | 4808529 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

i thought you knew when you were being shafted when you hear the word 'folks' used by a politician in a speech.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 02:07 | 4808731 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

67 quid for them doves?!? You must be jokin'!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:29 | 4808761 old naughty
old naughty's picture

you must like Marc Faber's Bangkok.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:47 | 4808279 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Is that with or without "the Tip"? Nudge, nudge, ;-)  ;-),  say no more, say no more.

Is she a goer then?  Eh?  Eh!?  Nudge, nudge, ;-)  ;-)

She into... photography?  Know what I mean, know what I mean?  Nudge, nudge, ;-)  ;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:46 | 4808851 TheMadNumismatist
TheMadNumismatist's picture

I do not think dental work would be a problem.

Based on these figures Hookers are just outside being in the top 1% of earners in the entire country, definitely in the top 2%; now that’s what I call equality.

But pretty sure some lefties still want to rescue them from such lives; )

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:46 | 4809019 Divine
Divine's picture

The BJ is much better without any teeth......

 

"They calculate that half of that was home-grown.." And another 50% was office grown by the CIA/MI6? I can't really believe the level of idiocity here.

With 400€ equipment you can make 4000-8000€ extra income every 3rd month with very limited skills & input - best thing is in my homecountry you cant really go to jail for growing under a kilo at a time.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:01 | 4809060 mr1963
mr1963's picture

$2500 a week per - cash? Me thinks I need to put together a stable...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:17 | 4810302 Thom_333
Thom_333's picture

Did we get a comment from Krugman on this...? Maybe an op-ed. His ordinary rant the conscience of a liberal...should be the perfect venue.

You know this Italian thing fits perectly well into Keynesianism. Hedonic adjustment and all that.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:06 | 4808144 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

25 a week .. means about 1300 per year ... plus a few freebies.

Daddy must be proud.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:15 | 4808165 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

"Daddy must be proud"

Daddy doesn't give a shit most likely and is a John himself boosting GDP.....

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:18 | 4808175 max2205
max2205's picture

In the Ussa add in unemployment ebt and free school....kick that gdp up yo!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:13 | 4808612 prains
prains's picture

25 a week means in a 5 day week, 5 a day........holy park your car in a ditch, thats a well travelled labia-thon.

 

That's Cha Chi abuse......

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:15 | 4808148 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

holy fuck that's righteous bucks!

did a scotiabank economist really use the words "pimped up car"? omg lolololol straight out of idiocracy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzEMGfR_BtQ UpgrayyeDD, two Ds for a double dose of his pimping...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:01 | 4808330 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

A phantom GDP boost from estimated black market activity does little good if they cannot tax it.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:41 | 4808434 thexperience
thexperience's picture

"A pimps love is very different from that of a square"

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:10 | 4808152 daveO
daveO's picture

Does this mean we get to tax the CIA for all the drugs it brought out of Afghanistan?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:19 | 4808180 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The CIA has the finest printing presses and can print all the dollars it needs:

The American secret service, the CIA, could be responsible for manufacturing the nearly-perfect counterfeit 50 and 100-dollar-notes that Washington pins on the terror regime of North Korea. The charge comes after an extensive investigation in Europe and Asia by the Sunday edition of the Frankfurter Allgemeinen Sonntagszeitung of Frankfurt, and after interviews with counterfeit money experts and leading representatives of the high-security publishing industry.


The U.S.-dollar forgeries designated “Supernotes,” which are so good that even specialists are unable to distinguish them from genuine notes, have circulated for almost two decades without a reliable identification of the culprits. Because of their extraordinary quality, experts assume that some country must be behind the enterprise.

The administration of George W. Bush officially accused Pyongyang of the deed in the autumn of 2005, derailing Six-Party Talks on Pyongyang’s nuclear weapons program. Since then, tensions on the Korean Peninsula have increased considerably. America charges that North Korea is financing its rocket and nuclear weapons program with the counterfeit “Supernotes.”

North Korea is one of the world’s poorest nations and lacks the technological capability to produce notes of such high quality. According to the Frankfurter Allgemeinen Sonntagszeitung, North Korea is at present unable to even produce the won [the North Korean currency]. The sources, which do not wish to be identified, allege that the CIA prints the falsified “Supernotes” at a secret facility near Washington to fund covert operations without Congressional oversight.

http://www.globalresearch.ca/experts-suggest-the-cia-not-kim-jong-il-is-...

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:27 | 4808214 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

 

 

THAT is an interesting story.  

I would have no idea if true or not, but it might explain why "N Korea's" counterfeits (and the country itself?) don't suffer any consequences....

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:31 | 4808228 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The thugs working for the counterfeiting criminals have their own counterfeiting ring.

 

"I could have built a press, but built a guillotine instead."

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:32 | 4808230 Bunders
Bunders's picture

"The administration of George W. Bush officially accused Pyongyang of the deed"

If USGov has accused another nation of doing it then my money is on them doing it themselves.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 13:14 | 4810002 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

Projection is a fundamental concept of the Talmud.  If a gentile woman is raped by a Rabbi, the woman is guilty and should be killed.  No bigotry going on here, just religious fundamentals no more different than Sharia Law.  Religion, it sucks...

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:36 | 4808242 deflator
deflator's picture

 Why would the CIA need to, "counterfeit" counterfeit? probably over your head, jus sayin

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:30 | 4808409 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

...and we never heard from JustObserving again.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:32 | 4808413 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I worked on a .GOV sponsored project about twenty years ago trying to identify where the supernotes were getting their paper by identifying the DNA residual in the processed cotton fibers. It was one of the strangest points in a very strange career. Lab members got to visit the snake farm and it was never quite sure who we were working for.

Who exactly is funding this?

Think of us a consortium of agencies. Treasury, Secret Service, NSA, CIA, pretty much everybody but the FBI.

Why not the FBI, they have a pretty good DNA lab

We don't trust them.

Technicians came and installed 'programs' of some sort on the University's computers and they never worked the same afterward. We had drawers of shredded conterfeits and sheets of partially printed FRN 100s.

We quit the project after we determined it was possible to ID the DNA because there was just so much red tape that the small amount of funding wasn't worth it. I look back at the experience as the point when DeadFred started to change from a red blooded lifelong Republican patriotic type to the "pull the pillars down and end this Ponzi scheme" guy that I am today. Should I be grateful or sad that I got to see a bit of underbelly of the USA? You could make a case for either side.

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:28 | 4808554 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

@DeadFred - be grateful.

 

Like many others, you had an experience which opened your eyes. Without this, real freedom is impossible. With this, even if imprisoned, you won't be a slave.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:13 | 4808161 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

This is a wash. Previously these figures were classified under lawyers and politicians.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:18 | 4808177 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

All of which are the oldest professions of the world, eh Ol' chap?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:42 | 4808269 LawyerScum
LawyerScum's picture

My attorney brethren and I have proudly been contributing to the cocaine and whores sector of the economy for many generations.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:17 | 4808170 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Oh Lord Cockmire, have you received the quarter one report on Hadley Street prostitution?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:17 | 4808171 gimli
gimli's picture

.....by hook-er by crook ......?

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:18 | 4808176 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

WOW . . BY this Calculation, Brazil should be a World Class, Economic Superpower.

Just returned from a couple months there in Rio. Only able to $pend a little time with the working girls.

Here is a link you might find "Educational," from an Economical POV of course.

Garotas de Programa Rio de Janeiro - ScortRIo
Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:18 | 4808178 user2011
user2011's picture

Amazing...... how pathetic British has become.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:00 | 4808828 tonyw
tonyw's picture

The reason is that the "black" economy should now be measured according to European Union rules.

Incidentally prostitution is not illegal so it is perfectly possible for one to put down on their tax return form that they have paid sex for a living

not that much is probably declared to the tax man.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:19 | 4808181 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Perhaps Fitch and Moody's can create an index to measure this new contribution to GDP similar to PMI and ISM - something like BBI - big ballin' index.

 

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:20 | 4808185 Devotional
Devotional's picture

the UK and Italy must be really hard up and desperate for some growth,no? 

he said "hard up" ... o_O

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:21 | 4808188 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

Do politicians jerking us off count?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808197 Devotional
Devotional's picture

no, what counts is when they butt fuck us.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:22 | 4808192 darteaus
darteaus's picture

How is it a "boost" when, I assume, hookers were working last year too?

If anything, it's a downturn as disposable income declines.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:01 | 4808831 tonyw
tonyw's picture

increases the size of the economy so that debt becomes a smaller percentage

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:23 | 4808198 NOZZLE
NOZZLE's picture

Russia,  looking like a saner place by the day. 

You buy Cocaine or any oother drugs,  a substantial slice of that money goes back to some third world Shitpotle the remainder gets invested in a local dance club or carwash, plus factor in the lost productivity and health care costs and you have a foundation for economic success on your hands. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:24 | 4808204 franzpick
franzpick's picture

CA's Moonbeam Brown must be rolling himself a fattie as he estimates the pro forma income when the state's biggest cash crop is added to the pot.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:26 | 4808207 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Truth being stranger than fiction out does Orwell again.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:27 | 4808217 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Regarding the "Garotas da Programas"of Rio de Janeiro

If perchance you are curious, and so inclined to call any of these beauties, add 9 to their eight digit cell phone number.

Their rates very between R$ 300 - R$500 and up.

Viagra is available over the counter there. R$30, or about US $12 when I priced it.

And Yes, I did help Pfizer, but only for their bottom line - and mine

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:33 | 4808234 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Bet the prices go up when the World Cup starts!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:32 | 4808218 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

I really do not understand the bias here against counting hookers and drug dealers in GDP.

I doubt many here are working in a manufacturing industry, taking raw materials, value-adding, and then shipping the finished physical goods out the door (a model that many critics of GDP insist is 'the only real' GDP).

I you save your money, accrue capital, and buy an asset it does not matter if you do this making machinery, being an Accountant, or hooking. If they own bars of gold, I doubt you would claim their GDP is now to be ignored.

That asset is tangible all the same and the economic activity that generated that surplus is to be counted.++tEuropeans have, for decades, said that Italy's GDP was/is higher than the official figures due to a large underground economy.

So if the GDP/income is underground, then it's no longer counted and the standard of living of everyone involved does not exist?

What ever makes you think that thugs, criminals, prostitutes and drug dealers don't have houses, apartments, bills, assets, automobiles and other sources of wealth?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:33 | 4808237 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Timing is everything.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:08 | 4808356 Carl Popper
Carl Popper's picture

Exactly.

 

The GDP boost is needed now.  Lol

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:27 | 4808221 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Mush those Sussex huskies! Jiffy the Pimp has GDP to boost!

 

edit: sheesh...tough crowd. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:29 | 4808223 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

it does seem patently absurd to include black market transactions into gdp, but think about it this way . 

 

IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO DEBASE THE CURRENCY OF A NATION ALREADY APPROACHING THE EDGES OF HYPERINLATION, A NATION WHERE YOU ASSUME THE 95% OF PEOPLE CANNOT OR WILL NOT PAY ANY TAX ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU'VE EITHER PUSHED THEIR LIVLIHOOD INTO THE BLACK MARKET OR INTO A LEGITIMATE INCOME BRACKET THAT IS BELOW THE THRESHOLD FOR TAXATION----THEN YOU NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT YOUR TRUE BLACK MARKET AND WHITE MARKET GDP. 

 

WHY? BECAUSE KNOWING YOUR BLACK GREY AND WHITE AGGREGATE GDP GIVES THE CENTRAL BANKS MORE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH MORE THEY CAN DEBASE THE CURRENCY TO THE LEADING EDGE , WHILE KEEPING IN PLACE FISCAL PROGRAMS TO KEEP RIOT COPS AND WELFARE BEARACRATS EMPLOYED TO KEEP THE REST OF SOCIETY IN CHECK. 

 

REVOLUTIONS OCCUR AT THE MARGINS. CENTRAL BANKS WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHERE PRECISELY THIS MARGIN IS, TO THEY CAN MORE AGGRESSIVELY PUSH TOWARD IT WITHOUT STEAMROLLING PAST IT BLINDLY. 

OF COURSE, IN THE END THEY KNOW THEY WILL STEAM ROLL IT, BUT POWER IS ALL ABOUT TIMING.....

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:37 | 4808244 Rootin' for Putin
Rootin' for Putin's picture

I think they will be including chaturbate tokens next.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:41 | 4808263 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

What if they included all the money laundering flowing thru The City in their GDP? The GDP would soar!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:43 | 4808275 Bunders
Bunders's picture

 £67.16? Is that why I've been getting crotch rot?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:26 | 4808394 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

That's what, about $112?

Those girls should be charging more.

Maybe they're averaging the "toothless $20's" in with the smokin' hot $1,000 gals (?).

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:44 | 4808280 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

At least its a fairly stable component, unless the economy gets really bad. Then Brits substitute hand jobs for intercourse and speed for coke. Of course, to raise GDP you've only to increase the visits per month and if "inflation" rears its ugly "HEAD" then you can hedonically reduce it by substituting ugly bitches for call girls. Its all good. 

 

If the Brits really wanted to juice GDP they would add the word ORTHODONTIST to their vocab.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:45 | 4808287 Drop out
Drop out's picture

How many pounds per visit? Must have some sort of package deals over there.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:49 | 4808299 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

Pussy is cheap in the UK deflation is a bitch....

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 21:52 | 4808308 Piranha
Piranha's picture

lol, the new growth model! so then a drug bust would be GDP negative

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:11 | 4808517 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

The drug squad might have to be disbanded, can't have them running around damaging GDP growth.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:00 | 4808328 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

If you guys think £67 is an expensive blowjob, you should see my marriage. Wow.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:28 | 4808403 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

LOL.

Well, hopefully you're the only blowee, that's got to be worth something.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:06 | 4808504 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Them's San Francisco rates - for the massagee girls.  A good one.  Can't say what the boys charge ... probably free.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:10 | 4808514 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

Read recently the following, supposedly from a Doctor.

The three most overrated things in America today

Home sex, Home cooking and the Mayo clinic

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:24 | 4808391 Piranha
Piranha's picture

@ReutersBiz: Siemens to eliminate 11,600 positions: Bloomberg http://t.co/eBTIHEA3C0

no worries - they are hiring in the drug and prostitution sector

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:58 | 4808484 Bazza McKenzie
Bazza McKenzie's picture

Next step is to add in the imputed value of conjugal sex and masturbation, and no doubt horny dreams have some economic value for the statisticians to figure out.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:24 | 4808540 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

wow...so the average hooker pulls in (sic) 25 tricks at $100 a trick or $2,500 a week in the UK or whats that $125,000 a year? Somehow I think the statisticians sampling techniques need to be more hands on. Maybe they can entrap 50 dollar blow jobs form even the ugliest looking pieces of pigs in lipstick but that doesn't mean a) that there are only 68,000 slappers working (more like 680,000 I would guesstimate, though of course I have no clue) or b) that the number of tricks a week for the ones that smash into every branch of the ugly tree on the way down is a lot less or c) that the average charge for the said fugly bush pigs is closer to ten dollars for a bj and 25 bucks goes all the way.

I think the number of call girls visiting hotels might be 68,000.

anyway, does this include wives who force their husbands to buy goodies in exchange for sex and vice versa?

how on earth does a blow job add to gdp? i know its a service, of sorts, so i guess the whole idea of each of us cutting each others hair or mowing each others lawns is a dubious one as a defintion of "output"

(sperm counted output? wtf!! is that GDP too, as in productivity lost form a high sperm count!)

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:54 | 4808720 huggy_in_london
huggy_in_london's picture

oh man... a new low...what a joke....

and we bemoan that china's numbers are made up .....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:31 | 4808762 zipit
zipit's picture

It's no joke.  Hookers and coke are saving the world.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:10 | 4808757 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Everytime i see a beautifull naked girl my GDP rises too.

 

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:35 | 4808764 Perfecthedge
Perfecthedge's picture

You mean a hooker makes 6.700 Quid a MONTH? I should have become a hooker...oh, wait a minute...never mind.

Siemens: greatest criminal-pimp-organization in Germany.  Worked there as Financial Auditor.  I know what I am saying.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:53 | 4808767 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Siemens is well known in Central Europe for their procurement practices, they bribe everyone until they get the quote.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:24 | 4808785 Jano
Jano's picture

only 0,7% boost?
do they do an IPO?
What about silkroad guy? couldn't he save the treasury? let him go and give to him revenue targets.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:06 | 4808814 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

WTF!

It snows in Sweden??

-------------------

Sweden's GDP falls unexpectedly

 

By Jens Hansegard

STOCKHOLM--Swedish economic growth fell unexpectedly in the first quarter from the fourth, data showed Friday.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:29 | 4808821 Obamanism
Obamanism's picture

For Leonard Cohen "Everybody Knows"

Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose what everybody knows

Read more: Leonard Cohen - Everybody Knows Lyrics | MetroLyrics Brilliant song
Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:14 | 4808867 Raging Debate
Raging Debate's picture

Instead of the Big Mac index to measure inflation we're now going to use the Whore Index. Oops looks like deflation is the forecast, after inflation of course.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:06 | 4808939 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

I'm Seymore Butts and i approve this message

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:09 | 4808945 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

"What Steve doesn't seem to get is that at this point all GDP numbers are about as made up as can be . . . ."

By crook or by hook.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:17 | 4808962 Vuke
Vuke's picture

With this news we can be assured we're in the "beginning of the end".  No rational person is going to accept "official" statistics anymore.  Funny money, sociopathic banking practices and wild rules always marked the end of any Monopoly game played.  Once all trust is gone, the system collapses inwardly. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 12:00 | 4809705 MrFailSauce
MrFailSauce's picture

It may sound silly, but it is better to know that to not know.  Illegal trades are a big part of our economy. One that we shouldn't ignore.  Hopefully they'll improve their estimates with time.

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