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Mainstream Media Meteoronomics

Tyler Durden's picture




 

When the weather channel of USA today discusses economics it may be time to officially replace Joe LaVorgna with groundhog Phil...

 

 

And in case you were wondering just how much the weather impacted the strong vibrant US economy...

 

 

A 3.5 percentage point plunge since the start of the year in the world's largest 'escape-velocity prone' economy due to some snow...

Or in real terms a $100 billion loss in US economic growth...sounds reasonable eh?

 

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Thu, 05/29/2014 - 22:58 | 4808488 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

If you like your recovery, you can keep your recovery.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:06 | 4808503 Gypsyducks
Gypsyducks's picture

What if it is broken, can i return it?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:11 | 4808516 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Not right now.  However.... I offer you the possibility of returning it in roughly 3 years under a new administration.  You can begin holding your breath.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:36 | 4808631 I MISS KUDLOW
I MISS KUDLOW's picture

peter schiff vs ron insana today on the shrinkage

 

ron....the weather caused the shrinkage

peter.....i think inflation caused it

ron...people couldn't get out of their houses due to weather

peter....they had to stay in their houses with sweaters on because of higher electric bills and gas bills

ron....peter gold is going down what do u have to say about it?

 

should i even continue?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:47 | 4808654 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

yes, please do.

i grew up on a farm and can't stand New York City for what they did to all "my cities" up here. For some reason I still think The City can be saved however.

Did they do the interview in their respective Superhero costumes?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mTpxoNOZa8

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:42 | 4808904 kill switch
kill switch's picture

30% Restocking fee...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:13 | 4808779 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

Any day now the weather will clear up and its Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:41 | 4808823 BeansMcGreens
BeansMcGreens's picture

But the official hurricane season begins Sunday. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:23 | 4809125 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Wait a minute. I thought all that destruction was good for the economy? Did the snow not break enough windows?

...or have these fucktards have encountered a contradiction? If so, they need to check their premise.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:12 | 4808491 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I'm surprised that Q1 GDP expectations took such a large dive after the ACTUAL GPD number was released.  You would think they would at least have the balls to expect a later revision to only -0.5% growth.  

'US Yesterday' weather reporters should be more on the ball.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:13 | 4808520 Luckhasit
Luckhasit's picture

Look NoDebt, what have we said about using logic and critical thinking when it comes to the circus called the economy and the markets.  

It's all sunsines and rainbows until reality bites the drones in the ass.And we both know when this shit blows up those drones that blamed the weather will say no one saw this coming.  The problem is is that its hard to see whats really going on when you stay in your ivory tower with your head up your ass. Kinda makes it hard to see the forest for the blighted, acid rain scarred trees.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:23 | 4808539 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

At the lower levels where you and I exist.... absolutely agree.  Higher up, where the real masters of the puppet leaders live, no.... there is a plan.  

No, not a plan.  More like a recognition of reality.  Of inevitability.  They play the long game, and it's done on a sliding scale.

Nobody gives a shit the state of the empire over which they rule, so long as they rule over it absolutely.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:27 | 4808548 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Exactly, that is why absolutism is so dangerous.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:36 | 4808569 Luckhasit
Luckhasit's picture

I agree whole heartedly. 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:20 | 4808533 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I agree, I may switch to a different weather provider for my GDP forecasts.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:26 | 4808542 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I've switched to WeatherBug, personally.  Insightful economic commentary AND they give me tornado warnings straight to my cell phone.  

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:36 | 4808638 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I'll give it a try...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:50 | 4808659 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

"When even shoeshine boys are giving you stock tips, it's time to sell."

- attributed to Joseph P. Kennedy

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:45 | 4808713 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Regis Philbin was on CNBC's "Fast Money" today.

David Einhonrn of Greenlight Capital called in and asked Regis to be an intern this Summer.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:12 | 4808954 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

"When even stock tip boys are giving you shoeshines, its time to bail out of Dodge"

attributed to MillionDollar Bonus, may he rest in peace....

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:00 | 4808493 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Fewer hookers adding to the GDP because of snow.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:07 | 4808507 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

I don't know, feels like snow jobs are at an all time high.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 03:10 | 4808758 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

You might be onto something there....

The whole "cold weather/penile shrinkage" thing comes to mind

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:02 | 4808497 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

PR handout repeaters, not reporters.

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:07 | 4808505 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

Damn folks you ain't seen NOTHING yet! Just wait until the Fed has to UNTAPER! Holy crap the markets will go fucking nuts then won't they!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:09 | 4808513 raki_d
raki_d's picture

They wont. No untaper ever. No fighting Fed

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:17 | 4808530 Protokletos
Protokletos's picture

 

Real gross national product -- the goods and services produced by the labor and property supplied by U.S. residents -- decreased 2.1 percent in the first quarter, in contrast to an increase of 3.1 percent in the fourth. GNP includes, and GDP excludes, net receipts of income from the rest of the world, which decreased $42.4 billion in the first quarter, in contrast to an increase of $17.0 billion in the fourth; in the first quarter, receipts decreased $29.0 billion, and payments increased $13.4 billion.

Ouch.

 

From the BEA report http://www.bea.gov/newsreleases/national/gdp/gdpnewsrelease.htm

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:02 | 4808595 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Time for:

Sad trombone http://www.sadtrombone.com

Losing horn http://youtu.be/1ytCEuuW2_A

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:21 | 4808535 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Uh, "The US economy shrank in the 1st quarter for the 1st time in 3 years due partly to bad weather that hampered activity"

You LIE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_y00kb_jVc

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:26 | 4808549 mademesmile
mademesmile's picture

Ha ha ha ha ha

"Partly" what, pray tell, was the other "part"?

The death of the middle class, huge debt levels, printers on fire, obamacare, business closing down, discouraged workers, the handout class or was it something else, like terrorists?

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:32 | 4808561 ObamaDepression
ObamaDepression's picture

it may be time to officially replace Joe LaVorgna with groundhog Phil...

Agreed! Why not? Every day is the same. Reminds me of the movie Groundogs Day

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:09 | 4808680 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"Punxsatawny." I think that was his name. Was he a woodchuck or a groundhog?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSUyYSQie8
gopher it is...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:20 | 4808970 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Actually a heavily mutated beaver discovered near a Nevada Nuclear Weapons testing range.

He has the ability to predict the future up to six weeks in advance and enjoys wearing doll clothes and collecting PokeMon Cards. Favorite Color Green.

Dresses up like a garden vegetable for Halloween. Also does financial analysis and forecasting for Goldman Sachs and Sears.

Hopes to open a franchise business teaching rodents how to succeed in finance by learning his 10 rules of success.

Also flips houses on the side and has a reality show in the works..

P.Phil as his friends call him is represented by William Morris Agency and is available for select events.

 

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 23:37 | 4808568 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

and now what will sunshine do.....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 00:32 | 4808634 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Still expecting 2.5% on the year. 

 

There are lies,  damned lies, and statistics. Take your pick. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:40 | 4808797 RazvanM
RazvanM's picture

"When the shit gets really bad, you need to lie!" european bureaucrat.

"When the shit gets really bad, you need to change the terms of the comparison!" US bureaucrat

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:13 | 4808682 walküre
walküre's picture

33 shysters are up for election on November 4th. Red shysters trying to outnumber the blue shysters again.

Let's just say, the shyster's focus is not on the economy right now. God willing, there will be a massive hurricane destroying Vichy, DC on 11/04/14 which will blow the entire shyster gang to hell.

Take that you dumb metereologists wannabe economists!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:48 | 4808801 Obamanism
Obamanism's picture

Lets make it a rule no Lawyers/shysters are allowed to make or pass laws, they have to much of a vested interest.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 01:49 | 4808715 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yeah, all that weather kept people from buying snow shovels and blowers, and firewood, and fixin's for chili, and turning up the heat, and ordering pizza, and paying people overtime to do snow removal.

Yup, that's it, the weather.  Q2 it will be the "sweltering heat" in that dastardly "Summer".

Almost getting too hot to go out as we speak.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:45 | 4808800 Obamanism
Obamanism's picture

Time to blame El Nino again

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:28 | 4808989 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

The boy child always be makin some troubles.

Why aren't the analyst and talking heads discussing why the unemployed are not buying more stocks and bonds?

Wallstreet is Mainstreet. Whats good for General Motors is good for America. A chicken in every pot and a hobo under every overpass.

written on an Osborne portable computer in a van down by the river.

Let me help you overcome your child's behavioural problems today.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:11 | 4808778 NoIdea
NoIdea's picture

In five years' time that -1.0% will probably be revised down to -4%. In the meantime figures for Q2 will be massaged so the US can avoid being shown to be in a recession. Expect a sub 1% print which will subsequently be revised down below zero

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:26 | 4808786 Obamanism
Obamanism's picture

Canada, Switzerland, Sweden all have similar bad weather but they did not have problem.

There is no such thing as bad weather, just not enough snow ploughs.

I blame climate change........ wait....... because of "Global Warming" there was no investment in proper equipment to cope with the bad weather.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:37 | 4808790 RazvanM
RazvanM's picture

So, next time somebody predicts economy, he should study weather really hard :)) "Oh my God, it was so much snowing during this winter!" "This summer was so hot that the economy was negatively affected by it."

 

People, Atlas Shrugged evoques so well the stupid excuses made by these incompetent imbeciles!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 04:39 | 4808793 observer007
observer007's picture
interesting: Russia gov report Snowden Greenwald are CIA frauds

 

report at the Moscow offices of Russia's SVR and FSB intelligence / security agencies, on the ongoing fraud of CIA agent Edward Snowden and his CIA-tied media such as Glenn Greenwald, UK Guardian, NY Times etc

http://homment.com/3K3xdsYD7a

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:44 | 4808849 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Yea right, because "I read it on the internet". From that tripe:

"By his support for lying, murdering CIA media, Edward Snowden is helping kill in Ukraine, and to damage the naturally good relations that should exist between Russia and Central and Western Europe. Against his own people, Snowden is helping to silence and kill genuine US dissidents and honest US officials, and to crush USA's internal reformist 'Liberty Movement'."

 

"honest US officials" - three words rarely found in the same sentence...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 05:33 | 4808822 intric8
intric8's picture

I almost bit through my metal fork when i read that tweet.

LAME excuse making at the highest levels. How does this not affect the psyche of kids and american public?

Not only do we have politicians and oligarchs lying to protect each others behavior, they lie to protect the behavior of the economy! They dont want obama taking the rap. This is the current fucked up state of the liberal media for you. The agenda's to feed the masses bullshit till we all go blind and insane rather than serve healthy dollops objectivity and truth to restore vision.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:07 | 4808834 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

That's handy because now I only have to look at the economy (what I do anyways) to know what the weather is.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:53 | 4808853 Farqued Up
Farqued Up's picture

Yeah, tell 'em Ride, "'tis but a scratch".

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 06:57 | 4808856 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

Being the economy has been whittled down to bankstering and Ipads, and bankstering is done electronically and the weather is always sunny in Silicon Valley, how was GDP possibly affected?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:12 | 4808865 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Eh. It's just mission creep from the meteorologists. They've had penis envy about economic forecasting for decades. That's why they came up with Climatology. It's the same bullshit non-science using forecasting models. Weatherman still can't predict the weather 40 hours in advance with any accuracy.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:30 | 4808881 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The Weather Channel is trying to start up yet-another-morning-news-and-entertainment show. It now resembles what you get on 20 other channels in the morning. They are also filling up evening programming with 30 or 60 minute reality TV shows. Except during major storms, I flip to other places for weather now.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:36 | 4808999 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Try the WallStreet Journals Weather and Worries in a Hurry with Katie Couric, a jam packed solid 17 minutes of what you need to know to invest today along with how to dress for success AND the weather.

Great recipes between stock tips and celebrity visits.

close second is Kim Kardashians Capitalist Celebrity Weather on CNBC, now with Doppler Radar. Includes funny Youtube clips of Mereologist having fist fights over the current economic trends and secretly filmed clips of the Weather Channels Weather Girls oil wrestling each other to see who has to drive Al Rouker home.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:34 | 4808887 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

USA Today, lol! Have they retracted the "All Jews Must Leave Ukraine" leaflets hoax yet?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:38 | 4809003 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Propaganda is only retracted when the regime changes ideology or pogroms.

You are getting propaganda mixed up with the truth which changes as new facts emerge.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:54 | 4809211 mraptor
mraptor's picture

Is there a real GDP calculator (which does not include latest gimmiks).

Something like Shadowstat but for the GDP ?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:22 | 4809291 RevRex
RevRex's picture

Bad Weather= Record Cold = Global Warming.....

 

Right lying asshole democrats?

 

 

IF "both parties are the same", why is only one party pushing the ManMade Global Warming Lie?

 

P.S.,

 

I don't expect any intelligent responses from people who blindly repeat Socialst Semite Democrat media election year  propaganda....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 11:11 | 4809480 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

We're told over and over by TPTB that the weather is the dominant factor in recent market outcomes, so this new Weather Channel play is a natural synergy. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!