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#AskBoE: Ask The Bank Of England Anything

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In the footsteps of the smashing success that was the #AskJPM and #MyNYPD social outreach by the two beloved institutions, yet another renowned entity has decided to take its comedic genius to the people: none other than the place where it all started - the Bank of England. So if you have a question for Mark Carney's money printing and housing bubble-forming institution, do no hesitate to tweet it: just remember to add the #AskBoE hash tag.

 

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Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:50 | 4808911 PR Guy
PR Guy's picture

 

 

Why?

 

Here's one of their spokesmen (person!) from the UK in action :-)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QPxDugs0Nw

 

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:04 | 4808937 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

If they couldn't predict this stunt blowing up in their face, how can they be expected to predict the economy?

 

At least they aren't as shameless as in Australia, where a central bank board member doubles as director for a hedge fund fraud scheme. Check out my updated blog on Australian financial crime:

 

http://drbenway.blogspot.com/ncr

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:48 | 4809131 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

How much gold do you currently hold in physical form, as opposed to what you tell the chumps who were dumb enough to let you hold theirs?

I don't use Facefuck or Twatter so maybe someone who does can ask this for me.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:52 | 4809203 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

 

A question for Mark Carney:

What specifically is 'escape velocity' and how will you achieve it by creating more medium of exchange?

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 09:52 | 4812392 BigJim
BigJim's picture

I'm not on twitter, so could someone plese tweet for me:

BofE - but we weren't on the gold standard in the 1930's, were we? We were on the Gold EXCHANGE Standard. You don't even know that???

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:36 | 4809156 Hulk
Hulk's picture

You got it all wrong. The responses determine the amount of security they budget for next year !!!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:47 | 4809020 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

BOE:  You've been accused of being 'Satan's Spawn'.  Your response?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:23 | 4809127 remain calm
remain calm's picture

In Kelvin, How fucking hot do you believe hell will be?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:02 | 4809230 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:51 | 4808913 stant
stant's picture

Wheres flight 370?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:12 | 4808938 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Last I heard.....Pakistan via Diego Garcia.

 

I hope that doesn't qualify me for Directive 3025.18....it's not a really well kept secret. It's not like I outed the CIA chief for Afghanistan.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:39 | 4809008 Bunders
Bunders's picture

Maybe he was already compromised and outing him seemed like an easy way to get rid of him.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:47 | 4809021 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

I heard he was late on his "contribution" to CREEP.

( Commitee to RE-Elect the President)

Then there was that puzzling 17 minutes of silence on the latest Obama Secret Tapes. ...

Somebody get Kissinger in here Stat....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:21 | 4808973 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

More importantly, why wasn't he  and the other Board members on it?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:53 | 4808914 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

#AskBoE What will be the price of gold on June 30, 2014?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:58 | 4808917 PR Guy
PR Guy's picture

 

 

I thought it was the Fed that decided that? Via their proxies of course.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:30 | 4808995 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

No, Barclays (Fed apparently being well endowed with tungsten, or so I read).

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 07:58 | 4808923 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Does the Queen enjoy her fresh baby brains scrambled or poached?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:03 | 4808932 negative rates
negative rates's picture

We don't really know, but what ever it is, you better give it to her or prepare yourself to live in real hell, cause you aint seen nothin yet.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:11 | 4808952 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Come on, those are for her corgi's.

She only eats the hearts , stuffed with caviar.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:00 | 4809058 giggler321
giggler321's picture

Russian caviar at that - yes the band stuff

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:09 | 4809086 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Peasant.

Iranian caviar is the best ,and even more banned.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:26 | 4809133 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

You big ass.

We Corgi's do not eat scrambled brains....

HRH gives us French cake - you get .........crumbs and crumbs of crumby debt....

WOOF!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:11 | 4808953 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

I thought the new wonder treatment involves injections of young blood?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:15 | 4808960 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Save that one for #askhenrykissinger.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:01 | 4808928 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Mark, what is it like to be a human hemorrhoid? #AskBoE

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:09 | 4808949 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

What have you got against hemorrhoids?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:01 | 4808931 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Drugs and Hookers For GDP!!!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:51 | 4809032 TheMerryPrankster
TheMerryPrankster's picture

Q. How many hookers and blow will it take to raise the GDP by 1 percentage point?

Q (part two) Can we institute a government program to incentivize spending on hookers and blow through tax deductions and direct payments to low income citizen who can't spend their fair share?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:06 | 4808941 muleskinner
muleskinner's picture

Dear BoE, you got that money you owe me?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:07 | 4808942 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Does Mervyn King cross dress, or what? #askBoE

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:08 | 4808943 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Are they willing to release a full ledger showing what gold they own and what gold they are holding on behalf of each other nation as well as conducting a full and independent audit?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:13 | 4808956 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

The Queen has ordered you off to Tyburn.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:25 | 4808979 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I am currently living in one of her penal colonies which is by far a better place than the one she is living in.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:12 | 4809093 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

You sure?

She kinda still owns lots of lands in penal colonies... loads of land and just "maintains' a residence for the masses dog and pony show. Whatever!! My penal colony got a grand fabulous media frenzied royal inspection...erm, I mean, visit.... recently, did yours?

WOOF!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:08 | 4808944 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Where's Inthemix99?

I think they could relate to his dynamic homespun style.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:30 | 4809140 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

He can spin the word cunt into such a deep and complex tapestry of rage that I am never less than completely impressed and awestruck at his posts. +1000 for inthemix.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:09 | 4808948 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Why don't you make like a tree and get the fuck off this planet?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:10 | 4808951 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

# if the masses awaken to your theft, would you prefer to have your head on a pike or placed in a basket#

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:26 | 4808982 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Better still they can kick it all the way like they did with Cromwell's head.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:43 | 4809014 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Actually the king ordered that Cromewell's body be disinterred and his body was hung after which his head was placed on a spike. 

They have in my mind set the precedent for awaits them as well.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:05 | 4809074 jubber
jubber's picture

just tweeted that to @bankofengland just in case you hadn't

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:15 | 4808961 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

How young , is too young ? 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:20 | 4808967 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

When you suck Satan's dick, does it taste like Obama's ass? #askBoE

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:28 | 4808990 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

10, 9, 8, 7.....is the NSA, FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, at your door yet?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:32 | 4808997 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Is that synonymous with Yellen's dick?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:31 | 4808984 crazytechnician
crazytechnician's picture

Is this really how they manage inflation ? From their own web site:

www.bankofengland.co.uk/education/Pages/inflation/balloon/balloon.aspx

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:30 | 4808994 Vooter
Vooter's picture

Shooting or hanging?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:35 | 4808998 Sirius Wonderblast
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On what planet is throwing cash at mortgages, causing another housing bubble and more concreting over of Englands (formerly) green and pleasant land, a good idea?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:36 | 4809000 KickIce
KickIce's picture

If you are on a path that leads straight to hell when do you get there?

Not soon enough.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:43 | 4809005 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

If you could legally rape any baby in exchange for an extra million Pounds in bonus, what would you do? #askBoE

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:42 | 4809012 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

#AskBofE - Can you go to hell?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:51 | 4809202 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Their job is to put us there.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:43 | 4809015 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Why is London home to all the financial parasites of this world? #AskBoE 

Whenever financial swindlers prosper at the expense of investors or bank jiggers interest rates to bugger their competitors or tax evaders flee fiscal crises or rent gouging petrol monarchies recycle profits or oligarchs pillage economies and drive millions to drink, drugs and destitution they find a suitable secure sanctuary in London.

They are wooed and pursued by big British realtors eager to sell them multi-million dollar estates, trophy properties and landmark mansions. Pompous and pretentious British academics convince them to send their progeny to six digit private schools, promising them that when they graduate they will be speaking English through their nasal cavities, rolling their r’s and mastering the art of eloquent but vacuous elocution. British governments, Labor Liberal and Conservative, in the best and most hypocritical legal traditions, fashion the legal loopholes to attract the biggest and wealthiest parasites of the world.

http://www.boilingfrogspost.com/2012/10/16/london-parasites-paradise-or-...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:04 | 4809069 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

pompous gits like Cecil Rhodes who set a template for others in various "Colonies" to attract the biggest and wealthiest parasites of the world...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:45 | 4809018 They_Live
They_Live's picture

Is it right that an organisation that effectively controls the level of inflation via interest rates is allowed to invest in index linked pensions for its staff?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:51 | 4809029 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

do you fear zombies? #askboe

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:53 | 4809039 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Who is the one down voting everyone? Is that you, Mark?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:54 | 4809044 CHX
CHX's picture

Is gold money ? 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 08:55 | 4809048 CHX
CHX's picture

When do ya'll start jumping out of the windows ?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:05 | 4809073 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Who are the Shareholders of the BOE and what are their shares?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 16:58 | 4810864 maneco
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According to "The World Order - Our Secret Rulers." by Eustace Mullins these are some of the original shareholders: page 29, "Early descriptions of the shareholders of the Bank of England identify them as a society of about 1300 persons. They included the King and Queen of England, who received shares to the value of 10'000 pounds each, the Duke of Marlborough, who invested 10'000 pounds, Lord Shrewsbury invested 10'000 pounds and the Earl of Godolphin invested 7'000 pounds." pages 30-31, Others mentioned by Eustace Mullins in his book: William Bentick, the Duke of Devonshire (William Cavendish), the Earl of Pembroke (Thomas Herbert), Salomon de Medina, Sir Gilbert Heathcote, Sir Charles Montague, John Sheffield (Marquess Normandy), Thomas Howard (Earl of Arundel). On page 31: "In his 'The Bank of England, A History', Sir John Clapham notes that by 1721, a number of Spanish and Portuguese Jews had been buying stock in the Bank of England - Medina, two Da Costas, Fonseca, Henriquez, Nunes, Rodriguez, Salvador Teixeira de Mattos, Jacob and Theodore Jacobs, Moses and jacob Abrabanel, Francis Pereira. Clapham notes that since 1751 there had been very little trading in Bank of England stock; it has been very closely held for more than two centuries." I hope this helps.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:07 | 4809078 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Of course they know this will blow up in their faces. What they are trying to ascertain is the pulse of the informed people.

People should stay quiet and not provide any information...let crickets chirp on that hashtag.

Information asymmetry is a powerful weapon.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:09 | 4809080 Shylockracy
Shylockracy's picture
Since the BoE was apparently nationalized in 1947,  what exactly is the relationship between the BoE to the private firm Bank Of England Nominees Ltd located at

19 Old Jewry
London
EC2R 8HA
Phone: (020) 7601 4915

?

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:21 | 4809120 Shylockracy
Shylockracy's picture

By the downvote it seems Lord Evelyn didn't like my asking.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:54 | 4809212 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

We Corgi's found it amusing. Tks

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:33 | 4809150 Divine
Divine's picture

Love the address: Old Jewry..

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 16:21 | 4810770 maneco
maneco's picture

Old Jewry was a Jewish ghetto from the 12th to the 13th century. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:09 | 4809087 jubber
jubber's picture

LOL love this one!

 

Mediocritas @Mediocritas

I want to buy a 2x1 in London, closer to work (to boost productivity). Should I go for fixed or variable on the 200 year mortgage?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:45 | 4809182 Mediocritas
Mediocritas's picture

Cheers. More to come.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:11 | 4809090 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Reminds me of the Bad Idea Jeans advertisement SNL skit from the late 80s.

 

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:17 | 4809107 BoingBoing
BoingBoing's picture

I love it. LOVE it.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:19 | 4809113 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

AskBOE
Will you surrender peacefully, or will you need to be forced out?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:22 | 4809123 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

My fave from the #askjpm debacle: Of all the nefarious activity in which you engage, which is your favorite?

If I didn't have a personal ban on twatter, I could have some fun with this.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:59 | 4809223 SquirrelButtDan
SquirrelButtDan's picture

Dittos...heh kinda sounds like something you would hear asked on one of those phone party lines.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:34 | 4809151 DonGenaro
DonGenaro's picture

Question 1: Do any of your members have members ?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:39 | 4809167 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

I'm surprised there's so little communication between JPM's marketing group and the BOE's.  And also that the BOE's obviously heard of twitter, but apparently nobody' there's ever used it before.  Oh well, probably brisk demand in the private sector for a former BOE marketing executive.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 09:49 | 4809192 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

#AskBoE, what's it like to be the 's bitch?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:13 | 4809261 inky
inky's picture

AskBOE
Please stop charging me money for not having enough money.
Yours Sincerely, I'm already broke without your help.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:18 | 4809279 F.A. Hayek
F.A. Hayek's picture

Do you wax nostalgic for the days when the masses were oblivious to your true activities, and do you think you can get away with it this time when the global central banks bring down the world economy?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:22 | 4809289 SquirrelButtDan
SquirrelButtDan's picture

WilliamBanzai7 was just waiting for something like this again. He's got lots of ammo via his art work. I suspect visits to his account will rocket once again. ;)

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:50 | 4809384 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

Some very good advice there for Mr Carney, it's certainly a lot better than the rubbish he's been getting from his own people.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:54 | 4809415 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture

Question for Mark Carney

Mark, do you still have the Austrian Gold with you?

Or do you have to invade some country to get Gold and return it to the Austrians.

Be " Man up" and tell the truth.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 11:12 | 4809485 Billy O'Naire
Billy O'Naire's picture

#AskBoE

If I steal someone's purchasing power via the letterbox, I'm a thief. If I do it via the ballot box, I'm a hero. If I do it via the printing press, I'm the saviour of the world.

Do you think the average guy is a charlatan or intellectually comatose?

BTW if you allow follow-ups, any idea why us Brits couldn't find someone dodgy enough to be Governor? Do you really think we have that kind of shortage?

 

Cheers Mark!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 11:22 | 4809520 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Q for MC

ru gay? ("janet" is looking for a date)

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 11:27 | 4809563 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

Please bombard them with questions. They asked for it after all.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 12:15 | 4809775 putaipan
putaipan's picture

do you answer to the pope or vice verse?

#AskBoE
Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:15 | 4811312 jez
jez's picture

I once wrote to the BoE -- this was years and years ago -- and asked them:

 

(1)  What is money?

 

and

 

(2)  Where does money come from?

 

To their credit (if that's the word I want), they did reply. But they didn't answer me; they gave me a few other people's views. Galbraith's was one, I remember.

 

I had hoped that, since its founding in 1694, the Bank would have developed its own view on what money was.

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