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Insider Trading Bombshell: FBI/SEC Investigating Carl Icahn & Phil Mickelson

Tyler Durden's picture


Did you hear the one about the Vegas gambler, the Pro golfer, and the Wall Street insider? Straight off the pages of some Hollywood script, the Wall Street Journal reports that Federal investigators are pursuing a major insider-trading probe involving finance, gambling and sports, examining the trading of investor Carl Icahn, golfer Phil Mickelson and Las Vegas bettor William "Billy" Walters. All three men have denied any investigations or "no comment"-ed about "well timed" stock trades in Clorox in 2011 - around the time Icahn made a $10.2bn bid for the company. Mr. Walters and Mr. Mickelson, 43, play golf together; and rather comedically, Mr. Icahn said he didn't know who Mr. Mickelson was...?



Via The Wall Street Journal,

The Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Securities and Exchange Commission are examining whether Mr. Mickelson and Mr. Walters traded illicitly on nonpublic information from Mr. Icahn about his investments in public companies, people briefed on the probe said.


Investigators are examining whether over the past three years Mr. Icahn tipped Mr. Walters—famous in Las Vegas for his sports-betting acumen—about potentially market-moving investments by Mr. Icahn's company.


The FBI and SEC are examining whether Mr. Walters on at least one occasion passed a tip on to Mr. Mickelson, these people said, and are studying the two men's trading patterns.

The denials were quick to come...

"We do not know of any investigation," Mr. Icahn said on Friday. "We are always very careful to observe all legal requirements in all of our activities." The suggestion that he was involved in improper trading, he said, was "inflammatory and speculative."




"Phil is not the target of any investigation. Period," said a lawyer for Mr. Mickelson,




When asked to comment about the investigation, Mr. Walters, reached by phone on Friday, said, "I don't have any comment about anything," and then hung up.

They kinda sorta know each other... kinda...

Mr. Icahn met Mr. Walters, 67, through a mutual acquaintance when Mr. Icahn's company owned the Stratosphere Hotel in Las Vegas. Mr. Icahn bought the Stratosphere in 1998 and sold it along with several other properties for $1.2 billion in 2008.


The two struck up a friendship. Mr. Icahn was once an avid poker player and enjoys betting on football games. The two have spoken about stocks.


Mr. Walters and Mr. Mickelson, 43, play golf together, said people familiar with their relationship. Sometimes Mr. Walters has suggested stocks for Mr. Mickelson to consider buying, one of the people said.


Mr. Mickelson, who has one of the most loyal followings of top professional golfers, has won the prestigious Masters three times.


Mr. Icahn said he didn't know who Mr. Mickelson was.

It seems the trades in question are focused on Clorox in 2011... (and also Dean Foods)

The government investigation began three years ago after Mr. Icahn accumulated a 9.1% stake in Clorox in February 2011, said the people briefed on the probe. On July 15, 2011, he made a $10.2 billion offer for Clorox that caused the stock to jump.


Well-timed trading around the time of his bid caught the attention of investigators, who began digging into the suspicious trading in Clorox stock, the people familiar with the probe said.





The investigators expanded their probe to look at trading patterns by Mr. Walters and Mr. Mickelson relating to Dean Foods Co. , said the people briefed on the probe. The FBI, following its approach to Mr. Mickelson on Thursday, expressed an interest in his trading in Dean Foods, a person familiar with the situation said.

We are sure somewhere Bill Ackman is laughing his ass off...

Cue CNBC defense... and Icahn's twitter feed seems awkwardly quiet on the matter


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Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:26 | 4811503 CH1
Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:30 | 4811525 TheLooza
TheLooza's picture

what Mickelson is thinking:

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:39 | 4811549 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

nice to see some good christian boys doing god's work

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:57 | 4811590 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Does this potentially make them the new "Clorox Crew"?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:22 | 4811873 SumTing Wong
SumTing Wong's picture

The SEC is getting involved? Does that mean these three guys took the SEC's stash of porn???

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:15 | 4811960 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I'm totally shocked that the guy that uses Twitter to front-run his trades is being investigated.  Just shocked.

And here I thought that Carl was one of the few (1 maybe?) that didn't have that lust for money that all other front-runners have.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 03:40 | 4812134 Number 156
Number 156's picture

Im shocked, shocked I tell you!

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 06:31 | 4812190 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Maybe Carl doesn't watch golf.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 12:59 | 4812631 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"The SEC is getting involved?"

Apparently they need to add to the office party fund..., and get their piece of the action. 

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 09:43 | 4812384 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The real crime was committing illegal investing without cutting the government in for its share of the profits,

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 22:17 | 4813645 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

you been here 8 weeks and using a 4 year old SEC jab??  who's alt are you?


Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:19 | 4811658 AllWorkedUp
AllWorkedUp's picture

Upvoted you but just dont see any of the good Christian boys you refer to. Nope, look like the sme old money changers to me.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:07 | 4811753 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

My God... not Phil!

Okay, the country's really gone down the tubes now.  With that baby face... whoda thunk?  

I'll wait until the facts will out before passing judgement, but nothing surprises me anymore.



Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:30 | 4811787 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Hopefully, they will make public the building where the records of the SEC/FBI investigation are stored.

ENRON'S investigation records were in WTC7.

No, REALLY, they were.

Fact-check it ('Snopes' doesn't count, by the way).

Maybe they can get 20 Saudis this time. NAW, Mickelson and Ichan combined don't have enough money for that. Perhaps, some Somali pirates with Ak's? Chechen rebels? Guys who wear wool face-masks and like to do overhead bar swinging on a jungle gym?

DAMN, it's getting SO HARD to put together a demolition op these days...



Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:33 | 4811994 Dolar in a vortex
Dolar in a vortex's picture

('Snopes' doesn't count, by the way).

You went right to  the top of my credibility ladder.

I've supplied Snopes with contradictory evidence to a position that he took and he responded, "so what". His credibility is zero with me.


Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:59 | 4812018 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



And by "he," you of course mean Barbara Mikkelson? [note different spelling of Mickelson...]


Sun, 06/01/2014 - 09:21 | 4814047 TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

Investigation going nowhere in....3....2.....1

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:39 | 4811553 XitSam
XitSam's picture

They didn't buy their "Jon Corzine Patented Get Out of Jail Free!" card.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:54 | 4811588 Frilton Miedman
Frilton Miedman's picture

It's not too late to write that anonymous check to the specified superPAC.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:59 | 4811607 nasa
nasa's picture

If the boss has to remind you to pay tribute, its already too late. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:00 | 4811609 fonzannoon
Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:22 | 4811870 deflator
deflator's picture

 Stuck on Libertarian island!

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 10:05 | 4812410 booboo
booboo's picture

Hurry Phil, run for congress and get a retroactive exemption from insider trading or just write a check, just don't lie under oath, ask Martha.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 10:24 | 4812435 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Just write a check to the Obama 2016 campaign and you'll be good. May even become an ambassador and be able to steal more

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 01:12 | 4812026 Renewable Life
Renewable Life's picture

Hey Boyz, how does that unbridled big government of the people, feel now?
Let's spy on everyone because they might be terrorist, ya right!! Try let's spy on everyone to make sure we get "control" of the whole fucking population, especially the rich and success niche!

Remember sheeple, "they hate us for our freedoms"!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:37 | 4811543 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

That chubby dummy has made hundreds of millions hitting that dumb fucking white ball and it's just not enough. Greedy assholes like that deserve to go to jail! 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:49 | 4811574 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

You need to take great care in your denials in these matters...I'm not sure I would advise them to get a lawyer actually.

Believe it or not you can be arrested for the denial. You can be denied counsel by the Government as well!
Sounds strange to say "the casino operator is concerned about his reputation"...but guess what "even the casino operator is concerned about his reputation."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:06 | 4811623 playnstocks
playnstocks's picture

Ahhh.. FBI says your a target.. Lawyer UP Fast!



 With the FEDS it not if your going to jail when they charge you.. It's how long!



Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:34 | 4811796 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"Gotta hang someone. Might as well be Phil Mickelson."

I'd laugh if he spent the rest of his life in jail for this.
Or better yet "if they were betting on whether someone would die."

Like...Phil Mickelson for example.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 06:34 | 4812192 negative rates
negative rates's picture

He had a long talk with Martha Stewart last night, she said he could get off with just 18 months or the end of the world, which ever came first.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:16 | 4812257 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

It really is that stupid. "Lying to investigators."

I know this sounds crazy "but just tell the truth" and go from there. Bald face denials that you know are false just make it worse.

What happened to Martha Stewarts broker again?

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:52 | 4812292 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

The casino operators are not, and never will be, bulletproof.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:02 | 4811613 living on the edge
living on the edge's picture

Really, fuck you Bangin Dick Head....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:24 | 4811781 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Sorry Phil.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 09:36 | 4812374 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Interesting how most of the ZH posters automatically buy what .gov claims to be true. Maybe it is or maybe it's not but for all the .gov bashing and NSA crap posted here, I a bit surprised that everyone here has found them guilty as charged. Let's see the "facts" first. Yes, "facts" in quotes since we won't really know if we are even getting those.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:13 | 4811638 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I say send Corzine, Paulson, Mozillo, Blankfein, Dimon, & the rest of the Wall Street criminal crew to jail first if they can't beat Mickleson in 18 holes.  No Mulligans.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:40 | 4811802 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I SAY send SOETORO to jail if he can't plant HIS balls in their 18 holes in a session. Reuben, Bush...

I only counted 16 holes in your post (males only have two), so I added two to round it up to 18.

Who's 'Mulligan'? Is that a new official over in Brussels or something?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:43 | 4811710 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Speaking of greedy assholes.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:48 | 4811572 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

That is the first thing I thought.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:01 | 4811747 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

The first thing I thought was how big of a dump the Stratospher is. Our room stunk to shit there. Seriously ... It's a sick place. The ventilation is a joke

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:01 | 4811610 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Yet, the banksters continue to escape justice despite open stealing. Amazing.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:38 | 4811801 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"Carl Icahn." Hmmm.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:53 | 4812299 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

incorporation, baby - totally fukin lawless.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:33 | 4811691 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

Apparently insider trading is having "fore"knowledge.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:41 | 4811804 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

I saw what you did there!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:13 | 4811764 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Get the popcorn. Icahn may have "pant-zed" Ackman with the Herbalife trade, but something tells me nothing tastes better and is life's best feeling than ackman will feel with revenge. Not even coke can make you feel that high...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:45 | 4811816 prains
prains's picture

FIGJAM = Mickelson

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:27 | 4811511 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

Good. He needed it

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:28 | 4811516 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Fuck yeah. Anybody determined to be a financial pervert shall be locked up and have their DNA altered. These NWO folks aren't after money any moreThey want it all.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:29 | 4811519 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am sick of these 1%ers getting away with this bullshit. I hope Congress gets involved and investigates the hell out of it when they take a break from insider trading their own accounts.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:34 | 4811537 10044
10044's picture

By 1%ers you mean the congress right?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:50 | 4811575 B2u
B2u's picture

You are shitting me.  Congress get involved?  You write for late night comedy?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:19 | 4811659 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Read what Fonz said one more time.

Stop and think (that's the important part)

Then, type a comment.

Just trying to be helpful to all concerned.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:47 | 4811718 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

But..that takes all the fun out of it. How else could shitgums come about?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:12 | 4811852 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Two of the most despised professions in the world (right above lawyers and politicians; same thing) are real-estate agents and used car salesmen (same thing).

Hookers are actually FAR more well-respected. Actual physical exertion, long hours, on-call 24/7, always trying to stay clean, learning street-smarts, and able to con men out of money for sex are a few of their more redeeming qualities. Those who are attractive are usually more sucessful (an unfortunate trait shared by lawyers, politicians, used car salesmen, and real-estate agents).

You KNOW this, I presume.

What IS a 'SHITGUM', and what, pray tell, does this have to do with the topic?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:29 | 4811891 Bernankenstein
Bernankenstein's picture

A fairly recent reference to "Shitgum":

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:55 | 4811831 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Meanwhile, in MSM news:

"Members of Congress are once again focusing their regulatory powers like a LAZER to find out about what really happened in the Baseball Steroid scandal. Several members of both the Democratic and Republican carcasses are reaching across the aisle in a bipartisan effort to enact legislation so that no player can ever hit a perfect 1,000 during a game.

"The White House has issued a statement that says that strong regulations need to be enacted in order to ensure that the 'Great American Past-time' remain pure and unaltered by adulteration of possibly illegal substances. it went on to state that the economy seems to be recovering at a rapid pace, and the numbers here look very favorable."

I forget that fuck's name. Is it JIM DEMINT, who pulled off the 'steroid scandal' shit, when the laws were passed regarding the FISA or the NDAA?


GOOD CALL, 'logicalman', and, of course, 'Fonzanoon'.

OH, the IRONY...

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 12:04 | 4812581 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Tranny transgender political correction, illegal drug running allegiants, and the new debt ceiling crisis. All new Congress objectives.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:56 | 4812305 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

Kongress created "reg-u-la-tors" to do all the work.   That way no work ever gets done, but dont tell a republican, they still believe.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:29 | 4811520 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Not Mr. Squeaky Clean.....the Great White Hope (sorry Tiger).....Phil ????

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:30 | 4811526 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Mickelson is a degenerate gambler, it's one of the things I really like about him.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:52 | 4811580 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"You will not be welcome in Jack's House." Move along...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:54 | 4811589 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Jack's a dick.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:42 | 4811808 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

That might be true...but when he hits a golf ball he's not afraid it will suddenly explode blowing his head clear front of 20,000 spectators no less.

Looks like Jack's records are safe too as Tiger appears to have career ended himself. Should be interesting to see if he's going to prison too.

Still...winning the US Open with a broken leg is one of the greatest moments in sports history.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:17 | 4811864 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

It all stems from the confusion Mickelson has by not knowing whether he is right handed or left handed.  Leads men to all sorts of follies.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:30 | 4811523 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Icahn is such a whiny fuck. Hope he burns.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:31 | 4811524 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

The Feds are going to shove it up their asses!  I'll bet they're hit with at least a $100 fine, a no-prosecution agreement, and date night with Obama.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:31 | 4811527 DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

Of course the .gov has noting to say on HFT, FX markets being rigged, PM markets rigged by the hour, and about every financial market in the US being manipulated.

No, much more productive to spend their resources going after a few celeb types.

Just another shining example yet again this week of how fucking worthless our government is in doing anything to serve the poor bastards that fund it, the fucked tax payer.

Eat shit and die .gov bureaucrats.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:59 | 4812315 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

You obviously don't live in high populations of illegal aliens rigging your citizenship.

Obama admin has actually told all border enforcement not to enforce the law.   They don't.

Same shit with pinstripes -- 'hope and change' = record bonuses for national security!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:33 | 4811533 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Chevy Chase, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Adam Sandler have another sure-thing upcoming gig.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:13 | 4811644 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Don't forget Bill Murray, the Gopher, and the ghosts of Rodney Dangerfield and Ted Knight.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:35 | 4811541 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Say hello to "black helicopters" Phil the Kill.

The 75th Ranger Regiment is on station...over your house.

Don't bother with the Yacht either. "Those are called Virginia class attack submarines."

Wondering who just boarded your private jet while flying 500 miles an hour?

"That's called the Air Force."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:39 | 4811551 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

Yea. The SEC want to 'clean up' the Clorox situation.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:46 | 4811552 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Icahn's doctors will swear on a stack of million-dollar bibles that he has had Alzheimer's since 2010.  See he does not even know who Phil Mickelson is.  

Icahn will walk away scot-free


Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:41 | 4811555 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

I'm Jon Corzine and I approve this message

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:43 | 4811561 Frilton Miedman
Frilton Miedman's picture



It's all a big misunderstanding.

Icahn & Mickelson forgot to make the requisite campaign donations the TBTF's make, once they pay their SuperPAC dues, charges will be dropped.

Now repeat after me kids: "Bribery is free speech"

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:44 | 4811815 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

They were betting on that too.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:36 | 4811567 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Like the Martha Stewart BS probe, another diversion from prosecuting the Wall Street's Too Big to Fail, Too Big to Jail crime families, like GS and JPM. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:52 | 4811576 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Mickelson rolls over like a $3 tranny, throws Walters under the bus, who pins the tail on the iCahn.

The question is, does AAPL take a hit based on iCahn's fall ??? I seem to remember some "cozy" dinners with Timmy Cook...

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:07 | 4811893 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

SloMoe calls it.

I feel about the same watching Icahn going down as I would watching a sewer rat get crushed by the front tire of a bus; but I have always rather liked Mickelson.  I have done things like what he did.  

I am sure they have him dead - e-mails, telephone calls.  He has to sing like a canary.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:51 | 4811578 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Are these names Corzine aliases?!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:58 | 4811598 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

happens every day and nothing happens. Look at the recent options actions in that thinly traded company that got bought out. Now the SEC is hot on the trail of a 2011 trade - sumtin else going on here. Phil spoke the truth about taxes and trends in Cali - he should have just moved to Florida and STFU.


Invoke the Holder memo. Mikkelson is too important for golf and commrcial air rates and Icahn is TBTJ so paint the gambler as a degenerate tax dodger and throw the book at him.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:58 | 4811603 Tinky
Tinky's picture


Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:24 | 4811669 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Life's like a shit sandwich.

The more bread you've got, the less shit you have to eat.


Sat, 05/31/2014 - 07:54 | 4812237 sleigher
sleigher's picture

Life is like stale bread. Crumby...  

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:26 | 4811680 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

There has got to be an Indian in this somewhere...

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:23 | 4811978 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture


Sat, 05/31/2014 - 03:21 | 4812127 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Whoop! There he is!

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 06:36 | 4812193 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Could be you.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:29 | 4811684 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Made for a caption contest.

From left to right...

Who, me?? What are you tallking about anyway?? No comment.

Prove it!

I'm rich, famous and arrogant, I'll get away with it for sure.



Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:34 | 4811693 chinaboy
chinaboy's picture

Lets see if they are too big to indict.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:47 | 4811820 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Are you kidding? "See ya on the driving range Phil."

Mary Jo White.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:35 | 4811699 notadouche
notadouche's picture

I'm sure it's only a coincidence that the SEC/FBI would go after Phil Mickelson after he made disgruntled remarks of the tax situation and how he would consider making moves to reduce his tax burden.  The IRS didn't target tea party groups/conservatives either.  I'm sure Mickelson is such a major stock trader that he made an obscene amount from stock trading.   Just another symbolic gesture that shows what is wrong with the US.  Get that Mickelson already.  He's destroying society.  Corzine, Pelosi, Clinton, Goldman, JP Morgan, BofA, Buffett, Congress etc.. all those guys are as clean as a hounds tooth but the golfer has got to do the perp walk.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:19 | 4811776 Dr Benway
Dr Benway's picture

Yeah I fully agree with you, insiders that haven't made "obscene" amounts from their crimes yet should face no repercussions, especially if they have spouted political comments I agree with.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 02:03 | 4812068 you enjoy myself
you enjoy myself's picture

the really scary part is that, 6-7 years ago, you would rightly be dismissed as a tinfoil-hat-wearing, living-in-moms-basement, conspiracy theorist.  but given the (known) repression of dissent by the current regime, do you have any doubt Mickelson ended up on some white house enemies list?  the crimes alleged happen every single day by an untold number of potential perps.

worse, do you really think the SEC porndogs (who never prosecute anyone other than an occasional sacrificial lamb) were the ones who connected the dots?  now that we know the NSA monitors everything you do and say, is it more likely that the SEC sleuthed this out, or that NSA targeted Mickelson and then gave a "hint" to the SEC?  the NSA has already been doing this for years with drug cases - the term is "parallel construction".  get a tip from big brother ("there will be a red honda accord at this truckstop at 4:30pm that you might have an interest in") but the local cops pull it over for some inane traffic violation.  whaddauknow, there's 5 kilos in the trunk, but the search is legal because it was predicated on an ostensibly innocent traffic stop.



Sat, 05/31/2014 - 11:47 | 4812561 ChargingHandle
ChargingHandle's picture

When one expresses displeasure with the current regime their minions/enforcers are released upon thee. Makes makes one wonder if Phil donated any funds to conservative action groups since it has been proven you are ten times more likely to be investigated if you do. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:49 | 4811722 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Their wives did it...along with their drivers.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 07:34 | 4812225 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

With their irons?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:58 | 4811741 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Is this the same SEC that has logged on hours watching online Porn while the Criminals were betting on Mortage backed securities?

That Criminal SEC?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:04 | 4811750 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Carl was too cheap to pay for his golf lesson - instead he had to barter.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:25 | 4811782 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Lefty = sinister.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:43 | 4811813 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Sometimes I feel sure that a given ZH article is really just an Onion-style hoax. This is one of them. 

Maybe Ackman has friends in the government who hate Icahn too. I dunno. 

But still, when articles like this pop up, I wonder if I should take the advice offered by Men In Black and start reading the National Inquirer for the real news. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:47 | 4811821 flyingcaveman
flyingcaveman's picture

Its not like the made a pefect trade every day for a year or somthing.  Whats the big deal?


Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:53 | 4811835 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"FBI guys arrive at US Open."

Make sure you sign that scorecard right too. That might be considered evidence now.

I'm sorry...did he pick up that ball on the green and then clean it off? Officer! Officer!

The idea of "men in suits with sunglasses" following him...even during the practice, I should be doing late night comedy.

Talk about "the gift that keeps on giving."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:16 | 4811859 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Phil Mickelson - PGA Tour favorite "Boy Scout", caught up in insider trading scandal... Priceless.

Carl Icahn - " I have never heard of Phil".

Billy Walters -  "Hey Carl, who can we get as our fourth for the game with Phil on Monday?". "Is M.J. going to be in town?"

Carl Icahn - "I have never heard of M.J".  "I'll have my people get in touch with his people anyway, and work a deal."


Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:12 | 4811844 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I think that Phil was forced into insider trading because of the extremely high taxes he was forced to pay to California just because he happens to live there.....


Oh, the indignity

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:01 | 4811845 JJdog
JJdog's picture

Phil big boobs Mickleson couldn't win golf tournments, why not do couple of insider trades to pay the taxes in California! 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:04 | 4811850 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

average foursome at the country club,  lawyer, broker, docter and banker.  Think they work and trade together.  It is a small club and most of us aren't in it.  By the way I am very excited.  I was in a hit and run accident that pretty much blew out my left shoulder.  Because it was hit and run it is on my own insurance company in under/uninsured drive portion of my policy to pay for injuries and rehab.  After 3 years 2 months the corporate attorney for American Family Insurance company has replied to my lawyer.  When I see their commercials I get ill.  14 years homeowners and two autos insurance premiums paid on time every time.  That is the attention you get when they owe you money.  No golf, no shooting my compound bow, no swimming in the pool,  hardly able to pick up the 30 lb grandson.  If it goes to trial my attorney keeps 40%.  They all play golf together.  Illinois governor wants to make permanent the uptick in state income tax from 3 to 5%.  City of Chicago wants to raise its cell phone tax per phone from 2.50 per month to 3.90 per month to upgrade the 911 system or some such thing.  When will we all have enough?  Why the hell does any city have the right to tax your cell phone bill?  Isn't the phone company a contract between you and a phone company?  Any one taxed enough?  Any one tired of it all?  Don't laugh at toll roads for the whole country.  These sons of bitches could do it and contract out toll booth building as shovel ready jobs in a heart beat. Be careful what you speak of.  Have a great weekend everyone. 

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 09:36 | 4812373 ricky663
ricky663's picture

Got tired of it all, and bailed to Thailand in 2012.
No more "hidden taxes" (except inflation) or tricks by phone, satellite TV or other US corporations. Get some interest on bank savings accunts.
As we no longer make enough income, no more tax returns need to be filed.
Other than loss of income, couldn't be happier.
If you can get to another place in the world, and have safety and comfort... The move is worth it IMO.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 23:52 | 4811928 RiverRoad
RiverRoad's picture

How the rich get richer.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:02 | 4811937 Steel Magnolia
Steel Magnolia's picture

You have got to be kidding. With the level of corruption in this country at nauseous levels & they go after Phil Mickelson. Of course if you make examples of Martha Stewart & Phil Mickelson, this shit will stop immediately. We passed pathetic years ago& now we get to watch the insane run the asylum.

God Help us because our children & Grandchildren DO NOT deserve what is coming their way.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:15 | 4811961 california chrome
california chrome's picture

i-Con has screwed over so many people, and with all the enemies he must have, this was just a matter of time.

The said part is he'll just get a slap on the wrist and be fined, at worst.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:16 | 4811963 Duc888
Duc888's picture




Yet Jon Corzine is still free.


FBI >>>>>>>>> fire 'em all.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:55 | 4812011 Sizzurp
Sizzurp's picture

Phil must have turned down an offer to play golf with the prez. Tiger knew enough not to miss that invite.  Going after Phil is like going after the ultimate all american boy.  This is tearing down the old America and bringing forth the new Amerika.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 02:18 | 4812081 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

Am I supposed to be shocked at Icahn and Insider trading?

There's one name you will never see on the Insider Trading list, Soros. This guy must be so honest it's scary.


Sat, 05/31/2014 - 04:11 | 4812140 maneco
maneco's picture

Maybe Phil should run for  congress and if he wins a seat then he would be allowed to insider trade as it would be legal.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:55 | 4812303 Duude
Duude's picture

Technically not legal, just impossible to enforce.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 06:25 | 4812186 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Somebody must have warned Phil - it would explain his form lately. Now he'll be the one with "form".

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:58 | 4812311 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Easy targets.

Tip of the iceberg.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 08:58 | 4812313 Duude
Duude's picture

You just knew Phil's anti-tax comments were going to come back to haunt him. If you don't believe political retribution is the reality of today, you must be dead.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 09:19 | 4812346 JmanSilver.Gold
JmanSilver.Gold's picture

BOMBSHELL ?  LOL Please !   How is it a 'BOMBSHELL'  when we know what the porn-addicts are gonna do ?   "After a thorough investigation, we found no criminal or other wrong-doing here".  Now back to our local porn stations.

I CON shouldve been in jail by now.   The other 2, I cant say.  But I CON is guilty as the day is long IMO, along with every lying fraud CEO that went to bed with him.  gReed Hastings immediately comes to mind.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 10:16 | 4812425 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Icahn and his buddy Sam Zell: two fucking moronic creeps who parade around as if they have acumen.

They have nothing, they are nothing. They are not smart, they are not prescient, they are not wise.

They have one thing, and one thing only: access to capital. The crony farce is strong in Icahn.

And now, it will be revealed: he has no ability to generate (*giggle*) "alpha," he's just another fraudster-inside-trader-shitbag. Whee! I could pretend to be cool too, if I could tap into the fraud-o-matic FreeMoneyMachine.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 10:38 | 4812449 Your Creator
Your Creator's picture

Put the taxers in jail.  The thieving politicians.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 11:27 | 4812461 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Ichan says he is unaware of any probe, yet the WSJ apparently knows all about it.  What's up with that?

Nevertheless, we should all sleep a little better tonight knowing that the FBI and the SEC are all over it.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 10:49 | 4812469 Nimby
Nimby's picture

I wonder how much KPMG will pay Phil to take the hat off.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 11:40 | 4812549 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

We have been hearing this for months on Bloomberg/CNBS. Apple is going to become Crapple [Sic] NSA [K]rapple dumbphone.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 12:01 | 4812574 drstrangelove73
drstrangelove73's picture

It's simple schadenfreude .
Personally,I think it's no damn coincidence that Phil complained in public about confiscatory taxation and suddenly he's the victim of a total shitstorm.The IRS is being used to persecute political enemies and now the FBI.We is now officially a banana republic.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 12:08 | 4812587 Chippewa Partners
Chippewa Partners's picture

Mike Milken made Icahn.   What is up with these billionaires who get in trouble with an SEC that is funded by the insider trading guru's themselves?

Phil's first few wives have to be howling at this.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 12:28 | 4812598 Jack4952
Jack4952's picture

Can you say ... "SMOKESCREEN" ?????

Given the proven manipulations of gold, silver and other metals, FOREX, LIBOR, ad infinitum, it appears that this story is similar to "What fashion faux pas did [enter name of celebrity] make at the [enter name of awards show]?"

Same old BULLSHIT distractions.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 14:26 | 4812730 PubliusTacitus
PubliusTacitus's picture

Pure bullsit political prosecution for Mickelson's correct remarks about taxes.


Almost time for the shooting to start.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 15:17 | 4812798 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

Jewish mobsters - the Arnold Rothsteins of this generation.  The Mick is getting schooled on rubbing elbows with these hoodlums.  And they in turn are going to get schooled on what happens when you try to do business with the gold-plated Goyim - you get ratted out.

I know how it is - stars in their eyes, teeiing it up with a champion.  This sort of shit gets played out at all levels in this great country of ours ... in all countries.

What fun watching this snake baiting.  One would almost think it was being offered for our entertainment while the country is legally looted.

And Publicious is right - Mickelson got set up by our absolutely venal, alien, hijacked WH for daring to bitch about the IRS.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 15:39 | 4812848 slvrizgold
slvrizgold's picture

That's what Lefty gets for selling out and doing Boneva commercials.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 15:53 | 4812867 Aloha
Aloha's picture

I'm sure the FBI won't be able to fit this into their schedule. I hear they're too busy investigating the IRS scandal and Benghazi.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 16:39 | 4812976 robnume
robnume's picture

What do you expect from a guy like Mickelson, who hawks Psoriatic Arthritis meds for Big Pharma in DTC advertising? What a scumbag. He should work for the Gates foundation which has joined with Big Pharma in making pharmaceutical Guinea Pigs of African and Asian people, particularly women and children. Rich people suck, period. They're cheap, despicable LIARS, one and all. Let's lock and load, people! WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 19:55 | 4813397 highwaytoserfdom
highwaytoserfdom's picture

Clorox is very very good for white wash....    Or in this case Mary Jo White wash.... 


Silly weapon of mas distraction.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 20:07 | 4813417 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I think a pertinent question to ask are these guys politically active and which groups and candidates did they donate to.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 20:31 | 4813446 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

There's gotta be a joke in this story.

A Jew, a gambler and a golfer walk into a bar .....

Sun, 06/01/2014 - 10:39 | 4814139 esum
esum's picture

its OK for CONGRESS to use insider info..... who give a flying rat's ass fuck ........ Martha Stewart perhaps.. the SEC those astute pornhogs who nabbed Madoff ... oh wait .. they didn't ....he confessed of his own accord... i smell obama behind the scenes.... he and holder going after whitey..... let's investigate what prompted this persecution... i mean prosecution... and how many man hours did it consume ... just dont rat anyone out.... this case is bullshit...

Sun, 06/01/2014 - 11:49 | 4814271 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Just saw it reported that the "Authority" was waiting for him in the clubhouse after finishing his round at this weeks PGA tournament.  No this is not about a dog and pony intimidation show.  The "Authority" had to be there to question him at his "place of work" because they couldn't do find his house or have him come in for questioning or meet at his attorney's office.  It had to happen at a tournament.  Really?  If I'm Phil I suppose it may be the best place to insure his own safety.  Would hate to come under "the Authority's" questioning process in my private residence because apparently after about 3 hours of questioning, surrounded by seasoned agents you may end up being shot 10 times due to becoming a threat that the only option is deadly force.   I could envision Phil's dead body with his pitching wedge placed near his body as proof of his attempting to attack.  

At this point in our history anything is possible, even the tragically absurd.

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