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What Else Has Steve Ballmer Overpaid For?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As reported yesterday, Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer appears set to be the new owner of the LA Clippers, or Clippys as they are now known, paying the record-shattering price for a basketball team of $2 billion, which is the second largest price ever paid for a US team second only to the $2.1 billion paid for the Dodgers. Considering recently Forbes estimated the value of the same team at $575 million, Ballmer appears set to overpay massively, with a premium that matches any of the ridiculous social networking deals we have seen in recent months. But is this the first time that Ballmer, either as an individual or as a CEO, has overbid? Hell no. In fact, as the following list by WSJ's Paul Vigna shows, the only question when analyzing Ballmer's horrendous track record at estimating fair value of underperforming assets is "where does one begin."

From the WSJ, here is a sampler of the most grotesque examples:

Let’s take a look at some of the more notable deals of the Ballmer era:

 

aQuantive. In August 2007, Microsoft acquired aQuantive, a online ad agency, for $6.3 billion cash, and 85% premium. At the time, it was Microsoft’s largest deal. “This deal takes our advertising business to a new level,” the company’s COO, Kevin Johnson, said at the time. How’d it work out? Microsoft took a $6.2 billion write-off on the business in 2012. “The acquisition did not accelerate growth to the degree anticipated,” the company said.

 

Skype. In May 2011, Microsoft acquired Skype for $8.5 billion in an unsolicited bid “even though there were no signs of other serious bidders,” as we wrote at the time. The price tag was three times what the company had gone for just 18 months prior, as the company was scrambling to catch up in the mobile and Internet markets. How’d it work out? Microsoft doesn’t break out Skype revenue, so it’s hard to really know. But the service is popular, and they just unveiled a gee-whiz “Star Trek” like universal translator service.

 

Nokia. In September 2013, Microsoft acquired Nokia’s handset business, for $7.2 billion in cash. “It’s a bold step into the future – a win-win for employees, shareholders and consumers,” Mr. Ballmer said at the time. How’d it work out? You could argue, if you like, that it’s too soon to say; the deal closed only in April. But Microsoft controls less than 4% of the U.S. smartphone market. Moreover, whether it’s a win-win for employees, shareholders, and consumers, it was a definite loser for Mr. Ballmer: the Nokia deal was apparently the deal-breaker for him, and the internal fight over it led to his ouster.

 

Yahoo. Of all the deals Microsoft did do, it’s the one that it didn’t do that may be the most instructive. In February 2008, Microsoft offered $44.6 billion for Yahoo, a 62% premium to the company’s stock, in an attempt to merge two struggling search businesses. It was a huge deal in the high-tech world, and it was a huge, public, messy battle that Microsoft eventually lost in one way, and won in another. Yahoo ultimately rejected the deal, although angry shareholder would later boot founder Jerry Yang over it. Yahoo’s stock, which was in the $30 range when the deal was announced, would soon sink into the single digits, and would languish in the teens range for years after.

 

Not exactly a sterling record, no pun intended, and we didn’t even mention Microsoft’s stock, which went from $58 when Mr. Ballmer took over in 2000 to $40 and change today.

 

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Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:13 | 4810270 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Hookers and blow?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:18 | 4810298 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Touppees that he constantly loses

And of course Microsoft products that he overpays for LOL

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:35 | 4810387 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

New mascot:

http://i.imgur.com/PimPY0O.jpg

"Hello There! It looks like you're trying to play zone..."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:39 | 4810400 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

You got to price in 20% inflation for the next 7 years.  AKA a quadrupling of prices in that time.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:19 | 4810529 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture
What Else Has Steve Ballmer Overpaid For?

 

Did he purchase his own copy of Windows 8?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 17:02 | 4810929 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Are you kidding, they don't have time for the updates, executives use Apple.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 21:49 | 4811720 pakled
pakled's picture

Dr. Suess agrees:

.

.

 

I am Sam

Sam I am

Do you like

anti-malware and spam?

 

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

I do not like

anti-malware and spam.

 

Would you like them

Here or there?

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like anti-malware and spam.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am

 

Would you like them with your mouse?

Would you give them to your spouse?

I do not like them with my mouse.

I would not give them to my spouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like anti-malware and spam.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

 

Would you like them

with your windows-updates?

Certainly not

Win updates is what me hates

 

Not with updates.

They make me late.

Not with a mouse.

Not on my spouse.

I would not use them here or there.

I would not use them anywhere.

I would not use anti-malware and spam.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

 

Would you? Could you?

on your desktop?

Use them! Use them!

on your laptop.

 

I would not, could not,

on any top

You may like them.

You will see.

You may like them

on your smartphone?

Don’t make me groan!!

Insane you be?

Not on my phone. You let me be.

 

I do not like them with my mouse

I do not like them on my spouse

I do not like them on my phone

Doing any of this I cannot condone

 

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like anti-malware and spam.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:42 | 4810412 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

This whole saga is meant to drive nba playoff tv ratings.  Sterling's dying, so he can cash in and doesn't care if he's vilified.  If anything, the scandal increased interest in bidding for the team, there were celebs falling over themselves to proclaim they would buy the team.  Balmer claims he won't move it to Seattle, we'll see.  Heck, I haven't given the NBA any consideration since AirNike left the Bulls - so I suppose it has brought the league back to semi relevance.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:19 | 4810303 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Ballmer has joined a special club: that of billionaires owning a "focal point" item (notion made popular by FOFOA).  Billionaires like him know that another billionaire would likely buy the team in the future also at a very high price.  Owning a pro sports team counts (look at the Russian billionaires...).

Stevie Cohen bought one of scupltor Jeff Koons "Balloon Dogs" for $58 million.  High-end art is another focal point good.

So, of course, is gold.  But, at the billionaire level, you do not need too much more.  When you can have castles, vineyards and Picassos...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 18:51 | 4811229 chemystical
chemystical's picture

Ballmer's already in a special club: JEWS.  And it's so good to see the LAC remain in tribal hands...just like 53% of the NBA.  (1.7% of the pop owns 53% of the NBA teams).

ATL:  Bruce Levenson
BOS: Robert and David Epstein
BRK: Bruce Ratner
CHI: Jerry Reinsdorf
CLE: Dan Gilbert
DAL: Mark Cuban
GS: Peter Guber, Joe Lacob
HOU: Leslie Alexander
IND: Herbert Simon
LAC: STEVE BALLMER?
MIA: Micky Arison
MIL: Marc Lasry
PHI: Joshua Harris
PHO: Robert Sarver
POR: Paul Allen (whose Judaism is in dispute)
TOR: Larry Tanenbaum

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:35 | 4811375 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Must be part of a conspiracy plan.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:08 | 4811461 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

Warming up the ovens are we...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:50 | 4810429 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Developers? Developers? Developers? Developers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:52 | 4810437 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

If I make a bunch of public racist comments would someone buy my house for 500k?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:14 | 4810279 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Matzoh Balls?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:14 | 4810282 JRobby
JRobby's picture

His haircuts

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:20 | 4810314 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Damn, beat me to it...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:41 | 4810406 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I think him and Bill did each other's hair.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:57 | 4810676 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

I bet they did even more than that together.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY2j_GPIqRA

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:17 | 4810291 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

I've got a '97 Lincoln Town Car with just 142,000 miles on it that I need to unload. I'll take nothing less than $10,000 for this fine motorcar, Mr Ballmer.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:26 | 4810342 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Trade it for a boat. Oh, you already have one.

I got it! Pull the 460 out of it and put it in a boat.

Just leave it in the yard as the gas costs too much to take it out in the water.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:17 | 4810300 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

2B we offered to settle Ukraines debt for half that

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:17 | 4810301 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Steve Ballmer just didn't oversee Blue Screens of Death (otherwise known as Windows) all those years at Microsoft......

HE IS A BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIN0FO0fODQ

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:18 | 4810307 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

He has always just seemed strange to me. Maybe just the yelling at dev conferences and stuff like that. But still just akward I guess.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:39 | 4810399 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Makes me feel like a genius for refusing to learn dotnet, and going over to the open source world.

Hell, I've still got VB6 apps in production to this day (though Windows7 took out a couple).

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:19 | 4810310 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Who gives a fuck about Steve Ballmer who sold billions of his customers up the river by installing backdoors for the NSA in all of his software?  

Only idiots care about the worth of bank accounts instead of the worth of the man. Ballmer is not worth a wooden nickel with Putin's profile on it.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:28 | 4810353 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Oh no, that was all bill gates, you know, the guy who's father was a eugenicist?  

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:33 | 4810376 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

If Gates' father was a eugenicist based on ethics, his son would have been the first to be put down - with Ballmer a close second.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:35 | 4810386 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

Nice!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:39 | 4810396 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

At least Don Sterling had the balls to be candid.  Ballmer only knows lies:

NBA's Donald Sterling Tells Girlfriend, 'In Israel, Blacks Are Treated Like Dogs'

http://forward.com/articles/197191/nbas-donald-sterling-tells-girlfriend...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:12 | 4811474 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

Imagine rolling over in bed and seeing Donald Sterling staring at you. She is a very sick person

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:52 | 4810440 kurt
kurt's picture

Yes his father was Planned Parenthood. The son follows closely. I finally get it: all those upgrades, patches, blue screens, exception errors were meant to induce suicide. At the very least Windoze, I'm sure, shortened many a life.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:39 | 4811386 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Planned Parenthood destroying the youngest lives.

Microsoft destroying intelligent lives.

But Most likely the secret Backdoors are used for destroying lives.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:20 | 4810312 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"Not exactly a sterling record, no pun intended, and we didn’t even mention Microsoft’s stock, which went from $58 when Mr. Ballmer took over in 2000 to $40 and change today."

And that's not just a notational drop in price.....remember.....$40 bucks today ain't worth what it was in 2000 compared to $58 dollars in 2000 terms.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:21 | 4810324 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Didn't they split their stock?  Just checking.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:53 | 4810366 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

2 for 1 in 2003.

Edit:

$58.38 at peak 2000.

2 for 1 in 2003.

$40.82 today, but now twice the shares is equivalent to $81.70.

Using quick inflation calculator off of google, $58.38 in 2000 is today worth $80.37

So... Your up about a buck in real terms? Not great returns for a 14 year investment. Especially since this doesn't account for transactions cost.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:27 | 4811514 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

"So... Your up about a buck in real terms? Not great returns for a 14 year investment. Especially since this doesn't account for transactions cost."

Wait for it....wait for it.....annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd ......it's gone due to inflation 10 seconds ago.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:53 | 4810442 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture

ahhhhh a newbie.....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:52 | 4811581 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

You should fight her.  I'd fight Ghandi.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:20 | 4810313 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

In all likelihood, his haircuts....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:22 | 4810319 dot_bust
dot_bust's picture

His bad purchases are breaking Windows.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:32 | 4810372 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Paul Krugman is drooling.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:49 | 4810645 dot_bust
dot_bust's picture

Probably. Krugman never saw a bad investment he didn't like.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:23 | 4810327 BrosephStiglitz
BrosephStiglitz's picture

Oh well.  When this dude goes bankrupt and the economy is imploding, I'll buy the Clippers for $100.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:33 | 4810346 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

So lemme see....a purported 'racist asshole' (let's not talk about the other side of this who are extreme racists using their 'blackness' to try to obtain the team for their own benefits...uh uhmmm, Magic) says some 'hate speech' - this is debateable, he just said it was insulting for the money grubbing whore he was fucking to come parading around with black guys in his arena - and, they're going to 'punish' him by giving him 2 billion dollars.

Only in Obama's America....like paying what, 7 trillion so far for 'free medical care'. 

Thanks John Boehner

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:27 | 4810349 DIgnified
Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:31 | 4810368 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

As Boehner (as much as I hate him) said, what problems does his resignation acutally resolve?  

As everything with Washington, nothing, it's all show for the morons and the FSA.  

Kill your TeeVee - it's turning everyone, just like in the classic, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"!

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:32 | 4810369 AG BCN
AG BCN's picture

The man is a certified window licker. A loon that found himself in the right place at the right time.

An anomoly that confuses the rest of us as we search for his special ability.    

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:34 | 4810385 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

NBA is a biggest theater production known to the USA.....

 

Broadway? nah.......

 

NBA is a script-written, drama induced sham.

 

college, not so.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:35 | 4810388 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

All I know is that this prancing fat fuck's terrible product quality is the #1 enemy of my business.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:35 | 4810389 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

That's real money. The current owner will not complain.

How's his jumper?

"Fletch is the key for the Lakers here. 6'1....6'4 with the afro. Let's take a look at some of his work inside."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:48 | 4811406 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Breaking News:

Sterling's wife had husband declared mentally incompetent, in order to take control and sell the team.

Sterling did not agree, and filed 1 Billion dollar lawsuit against NBA, with lawsuit pending against wife.

Could go all the way to the Supreme Court.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:39 | 4810401 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

don't worry about ballmer, he got plenty

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:43 | 4810415 Jano
Jano's picture

I must say, I love him. Its just very good to take out MS from market. Hope, that MS vanishes soon. He should burn away even more physical money.
He destroyed MS WIndows and thats good.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:47 | 4810420 Döwnner
Döwnner's picture

At least Balmer is a fucking geek that got lucky in this life and gets to brag about it.

He eats the best food, fucks the best women, hides his small cock behind his collection of supercars and gay-rugby teams he owns.

 

While many ZeroHedgers are wanna-be "libertarians" that probably have problems paying the bills at the end of the week, and then blame the Los Mejicanos for it.

'murica, land of the 'muricans!

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:12 | 4810486 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

If your secret fantasy is to blow the corrupt, criminal Steve Ballmer, please don't let me stop you, downer.  How down do you go?  His tip may be the biggest payday of your life.

BTW, no beautiful woman will let Ballmer approach her - maybe whores will.  But apparently you cannot tell the difference as you seem to have confined your attention to whores.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:49 | 4810425 kurt
kurt's picture

Before I said he was assigned the property through his mafia. Now, looking at the list it can only be the "Intelligence" State which, I guess, is the same thing.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:50 | 4810426 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Who is this cunt anyway?

You think spreading 'Money' around thats printed from thin air, and backed by the sweat and graft of the population you parasite off will do you good in the long run son?  With interest?

I have a bridge you might like boy.  Its a'bout time you fucking suit wearing parasitical cunts came down to my level and prove you be worth the daily bread you 'PRODUCE', not skim son.

Call the NSA Steve Ballmer my filthy $2bn friend, tick fucking tock.

Tick, fucking, tock.

;-)

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:06 | 4810479 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Oh please you and I both know that these assholes couldn't shovel their way out of a shithouse if their life depended on it. If Ballmer worked on my farm I'd be scared shitless that he might give my sweet corn a motivational speech saying "Corn Corn Corn!" for hours while trampling them with his fat body.

Rich assholes like him cannot be retooled for useful labor.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:33 | 4810573 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

true, but a lifetime of no manual labor has made the meat on his bones quite tender.

eat the rich.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 17:08 | 4810945 Dr. Destructo
Dr. Destructo's picture

Plus that high quality food would make him quite nutritious.

Looks like I got a barbecue pit to dig.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 22:17 | 4811772 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

If you had Bill Gates on your farm, he'll switch your corn to Monsanto's variety...

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:53 | 4810441 DrunkMath
DrunkMath's picture

$2b is a small price to pay for a new hoard of 20-something supermodels to suddenly know who you are.  It relieves you of the awkward conversation of "How much would it require to do XYZ to you", and replaces it with them coming to you for just a CHANCE at possibly getting some return on investment.

PRICELESS.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:57 | 4810449 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Hmmm...Lebron is available next year. With Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and Lebron...Kobe might just retire.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 14:58 | 4810459 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

TimeWarner Sports will now turn around and pay him $2.1 billion for the Clipper TV rights.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:30 | 4810558 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

the money must stay within the tribe.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:00 | 4810461 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

Hookers?

It's hookers isn't it??

And why has he paid this much for a netball team? He could've got the womens UK champions for fucking nothing.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:16 | 4810517 zipit
zipit's picture

One of those more money than brains kind of things.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:39 | 4810601 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

always thought Ballmer was the meanest-lookest dude in business.  If you "looked him in the eye you would die" kind of mean.   and a douchebag.

 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:51 | 4810652 Seal
Seal's picture

Ballmer & The Sterlings are a purrfect pair

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 16:48 | 4810884 esum
esum's picture

DONT BADMOUTH   ..........  KEPT MR SOFTY ON A HORIZONTAL LINE FOR A DECADE.... NO MEAN FEAT .... lets listen to his phone and drive the price higher .... WHEN IS THE IPO.... fuck yeah

underwritters value  it at 10 billion... hey all you muppets get in on the ground floor and ride the plummeting elevator to the -50 floor garage in free fall.... right up there with breeding rights on cal chrome... 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 17:00 | 4810925 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

What if Balmer & MSFT "bad buys" weren't bad buys but just well disguised bribes, or necessary puzzle pieces for the NSA and their black bag revenue stream?

MSFT doesn't break out "revenues from privacy invasion sales to Israel & the NSA", those may even be legally hidden and undisclosed on NSA grounds. 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:53 | 4811418 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Money Laundering for US Government Spies and Drug Dealers?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 18:02 | 4811079 nje
nje's picture

i know what m$ overpaid for....

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 18:07 | 4811103 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Does the team come with a Latino with a face visor on skates?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 18:13 | 4811117 zeronero
zeronero's picture

Anyone mocking Ballmer is simply jealous of his incredible success. Self made multi billion overpays for sports team. Big fucking deal.

Best of luck with it Steve. Maybe you and Paul Allen can meet in the semis next year.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:55 | 4811421 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Not like he actually earned all that money he is spending.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 01:13 | 4812027 zeronero
zeronero's picture

IS THAT RIGHT?

He didn't earn those billions. Someone just gifted them to him altruistically I guess.

Tip: don't begrudge the success of others- aspire to it.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 20:14 | 4811477 prymythirdeye
prymythirdeye's picture

One week you've been here....one fucking week.  Do you really need to start yapping as soon as you get here?

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 18:21 | 4811140 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

So is Ballmer going to rename the team to the .NETs? 

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 19:22 | 4811334 Umh
Umh's picture

Sterling is just being rewarded for his part in the propaganda theatre.

Sat, 05/31/2014 - 00:30 | 4811990 cobra1650
cobra1650's picture

He should start webcamming with blaxican strippers.

Sun, 06/01/2014 - 01:11 | 4813826 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

most peopel assume that when major amounts of money move hands, that the deal is what it looks like at face value. 

 

this is not always the case. sometimes a single 'trade' is part of a much bigger set of agreements. 

 

this is in fact frequently how money laundering works on the front end, where things of value are exchanged on the back end. everyone winds off better off and gets what they want. pareto optimal bitches. 

 

of maybe steve ballmer is just a blind idiot billionaire always 'overpaying' for things. perhaps he's just very wealthy and his deals go on behind closed doors. 

Mon, 06/02/2014 - 09:13 | 4816492 The Pop In
The Pop In's picture

It is called money laundering

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