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The Single Best Commencement Speech Of 2014

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It’s commencement speech season again, when, as Bloomberg notes, lots of important people say lots of wise things to freshly minted graduates. While Michael Burry's "Brutal Hangover Is Inevitable" speech is among the best ever, this year has seen plenty of witty, inspiring speeches from the likes of President Obama, Steve Ballmer, Sean Combs, and Sarah Palin; but only Bloomberg has the one commencement speech you absolutely can’t miss: an epic supercut weaving all of 2014’s best speeches into one...

 

 

And then there's this... Welcome to the real world, debt serfs...

 

 

Source: Cagle

 

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Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:23 | 4824834 Duke Dog
Duke Dog's picture

Guys, I pay a lot of money to be on this blog everyday - where in the hell is the promised speech/video:)

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:31 | 4824855 I MISS KUDLOW
I MISS KUDLOW's picture

i just saw it onbloomberg you will learn more from it then watching cnbc all day long

 

p.s    steve liesman said today we need more personal debt and if we all do that everything will be fine

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 21:31 | 4825360 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Who in the mother fuck thought it was appropriate--let alone tasteful--let alone within the realm of rational human brain function--to designate Kanye Fucking West as a graduation commencement address speaker?

Ladies and Gentlemen: The shark as just jumped itself.

I am Chumbawamba.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 21:45 | 4825399 xtop23
xtop23's picture

I'm sad to say that mainstream media has been effective enough, despite my best efforts, to allow me to correct you and tell you that it wasn't Kanye West it was Sean "Puffy" Combs.

Almost, but not quite, as bad as having Kanye as a speaker.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 22:02 | 4825459 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Fuck, are you serious?  That's even worse.

They all look the same anyway.

-Chumbz.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 22:15 | 4825509 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Fuck you, downvoter!

I was talking about talentless music producers.

-Chumblez.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:50 | 4824919 xtop23
xtop23's picture

2014 has obviously been a horrific year for quality commencement speeches.

If you want to see what a good one looks like, watch Seth MacFarlane's at Stanford.

 

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:32 | 4824856 Number 156
Number 156's picture

The only thing the president has inspired me to do is to delete CNN and MSNBC from my channel listings.

However, Im still forced to endure it in the airport terminals.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:40 | 4824885 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

I might agree with the premise for this speech except for the part with the arrogant, narcissistic illegal indonesian kenyan muslim alien sociopathy dumber than a box of cat turds liar in chief sound bite....

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:52 | 4824928 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

But, did you like the President's speech?

Oh..., wait.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:47 | 4824883 JuliaS
Wed, 06/04/2014 - 18:40 | 4824884 kurt
kurt's picture

You are not meant to follow this link. The volume has been lowered. You will need some way to boost the audio. This may be paranoid but I think the audio has been filtered through a sibilence filter to make him sound gay. Nice work NSA you fuckin' assholes. Do you remember the Bradley Manning black and white photo in his drag wig? That. Manufactured and they know how to manipulate you.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 19:05 | 4824964 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  I long for a Kyle Bass / Jeff Gundlach "cage match"

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 19:11 | 4824980 sunny
sunny's picture

Well, that was a waste of my precious time.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 19:36 | 4825043 Frozen
Frozen's picture

Lot of cute little haha quips that mean zip. I wonder when we get back to parity on all the bullshit artistry

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 19:37 | 4825044 DannyTX
DannyTX's picture

As much as I like this site, there went a couple of minutes of my life I won't get back.  STUPID VIDEO!!!

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 19:58 | 4825104 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"You are Unicorn!  We are Unicorns!"

Skittles, Rainbows, and a pot o' debt!

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 20:41 | 4825243 hoyhoy
hoyhoy's picture

"If you make nonsense bets on non-paying debt, YOU CAN BE RICH LIKE ME!"  Seriously, this is a graduation speech?  I would just walk out of there laughing/crying-in-horror at the whole thing.  Why don't they just pay clowns to fight on stage?  At least that would be entertaining.

Wed, 06/04/2014 - 21:14 | 4825316 samsara
samsara's picture

Read this commencement speech.

Really good piece.  To the Internet Generation.

From an older person perspective. 

Tom Engelhardt: The Last Commencement Address

http://www.lewrockwell.com/2014/05/tom-engelhardt/you-swim-they-phish/

 

 

Thu, 06/05/2014 - 20:43 | 4828642 calltoaccount
calltoaccount's picture


William Boardman, Reader Supported News 
Boardman writes: "That CNN headline on May 30 typified news coverage of the Harvard College commencement speech offered by former New York Mayor and continuing media mogul Michael Bloomberg, but it's a headline that pretty much distorts the reality of Bloomberg's speech, while accurately focusing on Bloomberg's own political/ideological distortions." 
READ MORE

Thu, 06/19/2014 - 06:22 | 4872753 Melody7773
Melody7773's picture

I doubt that you can find a graduate who can believe in the wonderfully written speeches of people in charge. The only thing they can trust to is actions. Show that you can provide today’s graduates with enough jobs. Let them know that all those years were not a waste and that that chapter 5 professional legit dissertation writers actually meant something. Give a real food, don’t just tease with empty promises like you usually do.

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