This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Today's Gartman Humor Is In A "Self-Embarrassing" Class Of Its Own
Surely humor like this (if not so much its accompanying forecasts on copper, China, the S&P, bonds, or anything else for that matter) is worth the $29.95 monthly subscription price alone. From today's "world-renowned" Gartman newsletter.
... we recall that last month the ADP reported that the US “created” 220,000 new jobs in April. This month, those who try to forecast the ADP report have it at +210,000. We’ve far too many ways to embarrass ourselves to put forth a forecast on today’s ADP report, so we shall simply await its release, but if we have to argue even slightly with the consensus we shall argue that the consensus is low and that there shall be more jobs created than the 210K guess-timate that is the consensus at the moment. Help-wanted signs are appearing in store fronts at a pace we’ve not seen in a very long while. The nation’s ports are busy; auto sales are high and rising; houses are being bought; airplanes are packed gunwale-to-gunwale and the nation’s cab drivers are busy and talkative. +230 thousand would not surprise us at all.
So would 179K, or the second lowest print since June 2013, surprise us ? That said, add one more to the ways with which we can "embarrass ourselves."
»
- 9984 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
this is the world we have allowed ourselves to accept...where a fukkin clueless carnie gets to be considered newsworthy...we are fukked, really fukked as a civilization!
Gartman is a momo trader that regurgitates the current trend to sell his newsletter - wont see the guy out on a ledge. if its up then he touts it, and if its down he doesnt - check out a chart and you can save yourself $29.95...
I'm jealous of Gartman- I wish I had so little self respect and was so brash, as to offer my opinions and thoughts- no matter how incorrect and bizarre.........for $29.95!!!
Is he still consulting with that chimp?
Whenever Gartman makes a 'prediction' on CNBS, they should immediately follow it with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo
The adjusted numbers will be coming out very soon ... and you guessed it ... 210K!
Don't humiliate him until he leaves; we all need a rock-solid contrarian indicator. The dude's money.
Agreed, he's a worth successor to Tom Stolper's crown for the most wrong person ever.
Peter Schiff is way better than Gartman
The problem with Schiff he is usually 5-10 years too early.
For fuck sakes stay away from framing nailers.
Who does he carry water for
We are not going to say anything....BUT.......
AKA the Lois Lerner Rejoinder.
Don't sell yourself short Dennis, you're a tremendous slouch.
Mr T: " SHUT UP FOOL" Mkts are fixed.
Hahahahahaha
Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public who will pay $29.95 for this idiot's 'newsletter'.
Fartman.....what a cunt.
all that needs to be said....
Never mind
i need this stupid fuck to give the all clear signal to buy stawks so i can finally go all in short.
The consensus is that you sir (Gartman) are an embarrassment to the human race, a festering pock mark on the face of humanity. Crawl back into your hole and just go away forever.
The fact that these assholes actually believe these "estimates" they give us, until the truth bitch slaps them is the real story.
Are tthey this incompetent in al they do?
Yep.
"Us", "We"
So Peter Schiff was right, AGAIN !!
Lucky for him none of it matters - as long as every newsletter ends with 'in conclusion, now is a good time to buy stocks' his subscribers will be happy.
"We are long the crude oil hedged with a trillion units of Zimbabwae dollar as well as long a straddle of we suck at life"
-Gartman
Anyone know the symbol for the Gartman Inverse ETF ?
ASS <equity> go
FUP?
Gartman: " We're long fudgesicles in Mexican peso terms."
another bloviating pile of goo
There should be 'help wanted' signs all over his trading unit.
Dennis the clown losing my Gartman? lol No wonder CNBC is losing viewers, when they constantly have clueless tard on talking BS.
Continue to be amazed by people who do not have a clue what's going on in the world... They're certainly not going to hear it from their local News. Our local news has doubled up on weather forecasters - most likely the only thing most people care about.
I don't recall ever meeting anyone who paid Gartman for his newsletter but if one were a freshly minted stockbroker that might be the finest prospecting list one could work. Talk about dummies!
Well,everybody so far has been dead wrong about the bond market and interest rates.Nobody wants to believe old Bernanke but he already has given his guidance.What's so hard?The U.S. is another basket case and the only thing Bernanke did was to copy Japans' model.He took the easy way out and helped all the banksters on Wall Street that have the biggest interests in controlling the White House,not the average American who has to work and pay bills to the same fiat controlled crooks.Gartman has some good funds and I'm invested for the long haul in the widow-maker trade (look at his gold trade funds),some are long gold in YEN and EUR.He knows the dangers that exist,that's why he's got those types of funds. Other than that,I just consider him to be another trader with his own opinions.
As many as %5 of the people in OPM bizzes actually have talent. That doesn't mean employing that talent is optimal strategy for themselves and associates at all times in all situations.
Too funny....
...and I have no idea what fucking planet this man is living on....
Holy shit, I went to bed last night and the US was a mess, I wake up this morning and everything's fixed!
WooHoo!
Can I get this guy Gartman's shit for free, like a free trial, with no credit card details?
Can I get this guy Gartman's shit for free, like a free trial, with no credit card details?
"Help-wanted signs are appearing in store fronts at a pace we’ve not seen in a very long while"
Really??? This guy has to be smoking some real dirty crack. I mean, what kind of person makes a statement like this? Really?
I wish that this ass clown would jump off the top of a very high building!! The guy just has no shame!
Somewhere on Youtube is a video of a monkey digging a finger into his own asshole, sniffing it and falling out of a tree a microsecond later.
Gartman is the human version of this.
"It's always nice to be Sean." - Dennis Gartman on Fast Money