Thursday Humor: Did Amazon Just Unveil "The Magnifying Lens"?

Tyler Durden's picture

As the world waits with bated breath over the magic time-transporting baby unicorn that Jeff Bezos is teasing us with, we can't help but think the following commercial looks like the product is a magnifying lens and the testers just discovered their wedding-tackle... on the serious side, as long as this new "thing" is cashflow negative then it should be good for another 10-20% in AMZN stock - here's to hoping...


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chumbawamba's picture

Nope, Miley Cyrus' actually disembodied but still animated vagina.


1stepcloser's picture

Thanks for the vizual.  Animated cause it still squirts?

SafelyGraze's picture

I'm thinking, maybe, some sort of, like, a "virtual book" that you can read anytime, anywhere

that would be fantastic, especially with vacation coming up and everybody needing to read at the beach

Uncle Remus's picture

[sound of respirator]

Even the putz Palpatine, er Lord Sidious wouldn't go that low.

[sound of respirator]


rbg81's picture

My initial thought was some kind of motorized, sentient strap on penis.  The dead give-away was when the girl said: "It moved with me.". 

ebworthen's picture

And the guy actually reports it!

Bet the boys at the police station had some chuckles over that one.

SloMoe's picture

The boys at the police station already have a penis enlarger. It's the brass shield they wear on their chest...

ebworthen's picture

"Buy me a drink, sailor?" she asks as she leans over, exposing her Amazonian cleavage.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

How very invasive.  OTOH:



RacerX's picture

is it too late to call the top?

Stoploss's picture

The ladies were obviously holding something different.

Urban Redneck's picture

Fucking devolved hunchbacks who run their mouths without making eye contact...

Negative selection in action.

spacecadet's picture

It's a 

glasses-free 3D holographic smartphone 
Bagbalm's picture

face on screen looks right at you?


Sticky Wicket's picture

It's a mini money printer that you can take on the go.

LeisureSmith's picture

So unscripted and genuine, and not cheezy at all. I'm impressed.

adr's picture

We've just gone so far past peak lunacy that all of life has become a caricature of itself.

It's all bad Jewish comedy. You wait for the punchline until you realize the joke was that you actually sat there listening to it.

IndyPat's picture

Not true.
Exhibit A: Blazing Saddles
Sat through it at least 50 times.

Edit: the second part anyway.....first part was dead on.

tony wilson's picture

jeff i am not jewish bozo


new old stock


obarma strap on micro cock

comes in indonesian yellow or kenyan brown or jewish satanic  child blood sacrifice  red.

for the soccer mom in us all

williambanzai7's picture

Is it just me?

Does anyone else notice anything about these people?

kchrisc's picture

Probably Canadians, as they are cheaper to employ in film and TeeVee.

James Dandy's picture

Nah, too many had nose piercings to be Canadian. 

izzee's picture

Wait til Jack Ma ...Alibaba hits the USA Scene..the Chinese Bezos


all those Amazonian "Independent Sellers"...becauze Jeff, you destroyed my business...


Hey Jeff....Meet JACK MA


Brindle702's picture

I'll bite, what?  They are all thin?  They are all looking down?  They are all smiling like the Stepford Wives?

TheReplacement's picture

They are all Amazon employees working on the project projecting false enthusiasm for a gadget that won't really make anyone's life significantly better for an unjustifiably high price?  Nope, didn't notice anything.

Apostate2's picture

I do not want to 'notice' anything about these people. Mr WilliamB these people are not noticeable. Just more boring and sophistical smears on a glass plate parading as haute cusine du jour.

world_debt_slave's picture

I was going to say an ounce of gold, but the masses don't get it,except maybe the Chinese guy.

B2u's picture

Cool, something new that I am not going to buy.

cougar_w's picture

If you don't buy it then the trrists win.

Goldilocks's picture

Yo Ty, watch this (as punishment?)

US Dollar dominance will end - Chantelle Schieven Interview (10:37)

…and no, you’re not allowed to put your fingers in your ears and hum. Sorry.

Z_End's picture

Parallax for People?!

nosoeawe's picture

here's what amazons new device does.

it makes and receives calls and you can surf the net if so inclined.

fucking bleeding edge shit coming out of amazon!



palmereldritch's picture

Amazon's new smart phone does one better than the NSA!  Not only does it record all your conversations, it also tells you what to say!!

In keeping with Bezo's purchase of WaPo, it's called The Mockingbird.

kchrisc's picture

That was really a crisis-actor audition for the next DC US false-flag. They should have focused more on crying instead of surprise and joy. "Crying" seemed to be their week point the last two times.


"I cried when I saw Robbie Parker laugh, as it was then that I knew for sure."

orangegeek's picture

MOAR technology to do the same thing we did in 2005, but instead of a mouse, we use our fingers.




Dr. Gonzo's picture

It's probably the device to chip the entire world population with. 

NuYawkFrankie's picture

Amazon morons being shown how to tie shoelaces.

Postal's picture

I thought there was an app for that... /s