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Caught On Tape: Obama And Putin Are Talking Again

Tyler Durden's picture


Rejoice: the second cold war appears to be over (after Russia skillfully annexed Crimea). How do we know? The following clip of Obama and Putin chatting has been released, by the official account of the French president no less. No blows were exchanged. Surely this in itself is enough to push the VIX to the upper (or middle, or lower) single digits and send the S&P to just about 20x 2014 GAAP P/E...


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Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:08 | 4830677 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Skillfully annexed???

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:14 | 4830697 Mark Carney
Mark Carney's picture

Putin's self restraint from clocking Oblama is such a demonstration of patience.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:16 | 4830702 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

Community organizer vs KGB agent. My money is on Putin.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:20 | 4830714 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Can anyone tell what Putin is saying?

Was it something like, "You're a fucking Muslim pussy, and I'll break you like a little twig."???

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:20 | 4830718 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

"Peace in our time."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:24 | 4830729 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Putin looks like the rotty that Cesar Milan tells us to show calm assertive energy or else he will latch on immediately and rip your fuckin' jaw off you mom jeans wearing panty ass.  Do it Vlad, do it!!  Kick his ass!!!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:27 | 4830736 Sofa King Confused
Sofa King Confused's picture

Putin tells Oblala that he saw his workout video and is now quite intimidated by him.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:46 | 4830804 max2205
max2205's picture

No darts?

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:48 | 4830817 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Putin is saying "No you can't have it back you fucking low life. Now get out of my face boy!"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:42 | 4831034 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Boy, how can he stomach talking to that commie thug?

(the predicate here of course, is Putin).

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 16:24 | 4831177 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

No, the predicate is, "can stomach talking to that commie thug."

"Putin" might be the SUBJECT, however. Or the object of the preposition "to."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 17:15 | 4831320 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

Choomboy chews gun and sits with his arms crossed during D-Day ceremony. Both are low class signs of disrespect.

Even the French are offended.

Le chewing-gum Obama merde

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 17:17 | 4831329 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Yeah, Reggie's love gun.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:42 | 4831461 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I stand corrected, teach.

But I still don't understand how he can stomach talking to the murdering commie.

Sun, 06/08/2014 - 00:21 | 4833726 MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture

You can tell by the body language almost exactly what putin is saying: 

"Now look, motherfucker...."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:44 | 4830800 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Park Ave

I take it that your poor attitude is due to being lied to by our government ...always?

Try Prozac if this persisits.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:54 | 4831072 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Try autospell if you can't manage "persists".

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:27 | 4830737 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

They look like buddies or comrades.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:52 | 4830827 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

They look like archrivals.

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 14:53 | 4832852 DYS
DYS's picture

Do you really believe that they are NOT on the same team?

Sun, 06/08/2014 - 01:44 | 4833805 pkea
pkea's picture

It sounds that putin is telling him something " regarding your last offer...."?

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830788 aardwolf
aardwolf's picture

It is common knowledge that Obama worked for a CIA front company called Business International Corporation:


In the late summer of 1983, future United States President Barack Obama interviewed for a job at Business International Corporation. He worked there for "little more than year."






FSB>CIA        (FSB haven't lost all their secrets to a bloody journalist...unless Snowden is a hilarious CIA psyop)

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:50 | 4830820 Kayman
Kayman's picture

I thought Cameron was working for the Pope.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:29 | 4830983 JRobby
JRobby's picture

The Pope is CIA, he launders money for them.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 16:20 | 4831158 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Close, they only use the Bank for that purpose. You think the Comex has a lot of gold in it's vaults.... It going to be some real interesting times when the time comes that they have to make the decision to put some of their ill gotten re-re-re-stolen gold into circulation to keep the paper gold system from collapsing including countries or go for the full global power grab at that point.

There is a reason why they are so active in the Philippines and even more so right after 9/11 happened......


Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:02 | 4830884 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Aardwolf has it correct. Everyone's "plucked off the street" bullshit story about Obama is laughable. Yea, the powers behind Cheney and Bush were going to let the NPR crowd "end the wars" with some unknown black kid. It's amazing how many people still follow the official version, also why doesn't ZH roll up their sleeves and get some posts out on what Aard just said.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:01 | 4830877 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Dont under estimate the Kenyan and his backers, he is President, they put a Kenyan Communist Muslim in the Presidency 8 years after 9/11.

I would have taken that bet a billion to 1 odds  

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:31 | 4830751 JJdog
JJdog's picture

I think Putin just congratz Obama for the 5 to 1 Terrorist to a weasel trade! lol

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:07 | 4830900 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Not just any five.  Five Taliban leaders for one plant.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:22 | 4830961 trader1
trader1's picture

why would putin clock obama?

they're playing an orchestrated game for your sick, silly entertainment.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:19 | 4830949 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

No shit... skillfully annexed? Again on zerohedge this canard is launched. Get your shit straight. Propagating a lie, especially THAT lie is not good. And make no mistake it is a lie. A Transparent lie.


Crimea has always been more russian than ukrainian anyways, which is exemplified by the fact that they overwhelmingly and democratically seceded from russia and aceded to the Russian federation.


The Western media likes throwing words like "annexed" and "regime" around when they talk about people who don't bow to them so that low IQ masses associate such people with automatically being evil, and illegitimate.


You guys are better than this.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:45 | 4831043 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The more accurate phrasing would be, "gracefully accepted Crimea's bloodless accession and reunification."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:09 | 4830678 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

"I'll have more flexibility in my third term." 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:17 | 4830705 813kml
813kml's picture

Barry is going to get bent over by Vlad so many times during the next two years that he'll become a contortionist.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:26 | 4830721 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Obama definitely has more flexibility in his second term.

He got bent over by Vlad and took it in the rear over Crimea.

And from the looks of it, Obama is hoping for sloppy seconds.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:52 | 4830831 Bindar Dundat
Bindar Dundat's picture

Putin is playing CHESS -- Barry is still wondering why the red and the black don't taste different!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:17 | 4830943 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

He likes getting bent over. Hence the mom jeans.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:09 | 4830681 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

you shutup, no you shutup

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:10 | 4830685 esum
esum's picture

" No blows were exchanged"  ..... but obama did have knee rash... 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:10 | 4830686 Shed Boy
Shed Boy's picture

Good game too comrade!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:18 | 4830712 813kml
813kml's picture

Barry:  "Hey, let's hit the showers."

Vlad:  "Ummm, nyet."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:12 | 4830691 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Putin looks like he wants to jack Zero with an uppercut to the chin...

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:12 | 4830694 LetsGetPhysical
LetsGetPhysical's picture

"all those suckers believe we're enemies"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:31 | 4830750 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Exactly. They are all on the same page. They're just jockeying for position at the seat of power. Make no mistake though..... The rest of humanity is fodder to them.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:15 | 4830700 wakablahh
wakablahh's picture

Id avoid eye contact too if i had to look up lol

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830784 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Looks like some people here are sensitive about Putin being a shorty.  I took it to mean Obama was on his knees looking up.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:20 | 4830717 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Body language is interesting.

Obozo's palms open facing forward and down.

Signifies surrender usually.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 16:01 | 4831100 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Hi, I'm Barry."

"Oh, yes. The luggage is over there."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:21 | 4830720 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If ever you needed proof that they are merely actors in a global political theater for the masses, there it is.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:25 | 4830732 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

You can see who is the lead though.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:51 | 4830824 random999
random999's picture

noone is in the lead. Obama is sucking the banksters cock and putin knows it aint worth fighting with a cocksucker, specially when his friends are kinda pumped up.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:05 | 4830722 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Obama is a puppet who sells pre-determined policy to the public, while pretending he's in control. Putin on the other hand wields actual power, but downplays his role, pretending he's a mere elected representative.

The reason Obama seems weak is because he comes from a lineup of interchangible puppets. Had someone else won in the last 2 elections it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. He's an empty shell of a man.

Putin is his own character - an identity so strong that when Medvedev was keeping the seat warm, Putin's presense completely overshadowed him. Anyone remembers Medvedev? I don't and neither do Russians.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:06 | 4830895 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

"pre determined policy" sometimes a simply phrase nails it! Now read the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and you actually have the policy blueprint in your hands, written a long time ago.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:24 | 4830964 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

U.S. embassy dubbed Putin, Medvedev ‘Batman and Robin’ - Wikileaks

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:31 | 4830996 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Right on!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 17:17 | 4831328 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Medvedev is old Russian power.  There is a bit of master blaster at play, with him and Putin. 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:22 | 4830724 discopimp
discopimp's picture

Please have fun with the comedy gold below, some fellow ZH put it up a while ago and unfortunately I copied only what was said not who said it, so apologies in advance, please claim it its yours, but it still make me LMFAO!!


"i understand Barry is claiming Putin took his Nobel Peace prize, though Putin claims Barry gave it to him as a gift. Barry says that when he showed the prize to Putin, some big mean looking guys from the KGB surrounded him, and Putin took the prize and said thank you.Barry's version has not been supported by people who were actually there, it is the first time he has told his version of events, in which Putin ended up with his peace prize. Putin has offered to buy Barry a new prize, if he will just get the hell out of Syria and stop arming Al Qaeda.the nobel prize committee has stated that the prize is not a piece of bling, but represents the collective efforts of the recipient to make the world a better place. in a separate poll, 95% of Americans think Putin is a thug, and would not let their children in the same room with him, and they also say they believe his account of the story is probably correct."

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:27 | 4830738 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I wouldn't leave my Son alone in a room with Obama, that's for sure.

Putin will give Obama a "Piece" prize, as in a piece of rock from the Crimean coastline.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830791 Joenobody12
Joenobody12's picture

I wouldn't leave my dog or sheep alone in a room with Obumpma. 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:48 | 4830813 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

He'd barbecue the dog and shear the sheep while blowing Reggie.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:22 | 4830726 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'll bet Obama wasn't speaking Russian.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830786 ndree
ndree's picture

Vlad is a true genius. All those woosies were hoping to sideline him...the biggest of them all was hoping to get his big break to start WW3 or the Cold War to stop the inevitable decline of the USD and the USE(Empire). Vlad knew that he'd be treated like small pox, but that to go there woud stop the momentum of the evil plot... maintain his ties with the blackmailed Europeans, corner the upstart chocloate Mafia King, and above all give Vlad the time needed to perfect his coup with the help of the Chinese and the Brics.  Coup de maitre..... poor Merkel...she'll finally get a couple hours sleep tonite!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:28 | 4830741 autofixer
autofixer's picture

"I will crush you"-Putin

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:30 | 4830747 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

if Putin ripped out his throat America would cheer 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:30 | 4830748 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

All according to plan.  It's long since been a global ponzi.  The oligarchs enjoy being oligarchs and will manipulte whatever they have to in order to maintain power and control.

Same as it ever was.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:33 | 4830755 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Barry looks like he's trying so hard to be noticed. What a faggot.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 16:00 | 4831096 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture


What a weiner.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:33 | 4830756 Joe A
Joe A's picture

It went something like this:

Putin: "let me tell you something"

Obama: "Let's be friends"

Putin: "STFU, I am talking here, sonny"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:46 | 4830808 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

No, the conversation went something like this...

Obama - Angela says we should talk...

Putin - Yeah, I know.

Obama - What do you want to talk about?

Putin - Nothing here.  The French are listening...

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:33 | 4830758 socalbeach
Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:57 | 4830840 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

the rabble seems to have Manpads and anti tank missiles. I wonder what the range is of Russia's newest manpads?

or are they Samsung?

Does the EU even know the Russians have access to all their latest military hardware adn communications through their always for sale Israeli friends?



Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:22 | 4830959 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

And if an Apache gunship happens to shit in the wrong neck of the woods someone will discover that the rednecks suddenly have manpads and atgws...

The population of Ukraine is over 40 million, even if only half of them are "easterners" knowing where to find shit and how to get stuff done is not that rare a trait (although the app for that - a good rolodex, is becoming rarer as the idiocracy grows).

In addition, oligarchs don't just feed on the little fish, the also feed on each other, so there is plenty of liquidity available to finance the protection or (re)capture of ill gotten gains.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:34 | 4830761 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Maybe now is the time to ask Putin about that Super Bowl ring....

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:39 | 4830775 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

"And would you mind filling AF1 for us or we may not make it Home"


Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830785 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

O: Holy fuck, what you been up to with this shit Vlad?  It's hard out here for a whimp. 

V: Would you cut it out with the histrionics? You know I like you just fine, don't take that invasion shit personally, I didn't with yours. I know you understand. Just because our proxies are at war with each other that does not mean I don't like you. We can talk later about this...

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:41 | 4830789 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Is "20x GAAP P/E" still a positive number?

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:43 | 4830796 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

This is all just so exciting. Every day, new entertainment, new things to view and hear - an unfolding story of trial and accomplishment. Truly a golden age.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:51 | 4830828 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Putin: Your father should have pulled out.

Prez. Camacho: ... I got nuthin'...

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 14:59 | 4830868 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

What did we give them now?  

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:19 | 4831528 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Alaska. They did promise to pay in gold over seven years.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:11 | 4830915 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

P. "About those sanctions, stop them or i make you eat your ears"

O. "Yes sir, thank you Sir".

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:14 | 4830929 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Actual translation...

Obozo: What up bro!

Putski: Look.  Listen up.  Whatever.  Your wife is a man.  

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:14 | 4830930 Jano
Jano's picture

Iraqi Hussein has been executed.

Kenyan-US Hussein should follow.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:18 | 4830942 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

On a reporters question what he thought about not being invited he just answered "I wish them bon appetit".

The hero.


Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:29 | 4830984 Ocean22
Ocean22's picture

Distractions. Meanwhile....

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:35 | 4831005 general ambivalent
general ambivalent's picture

Won't this crash the algorithms or something?

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:36 | 4831011 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Putin: How about our nations swap names? 

Obama: What do you mean by that?

Putin: Well we have people like Snowden seeking refuge in the USSR and we have nations voting to join us instead of fighting to conquer them like you have in Iraq and other places. On top of that we now have more gold in our vaults than you have. Plus you now have more surveillance on your people than the communists use to have.

Obama: You are starting to shit me.

Putin: You would not see it that way if you had any respect for your history.


Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:38 | 4831015 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Too bad we are no longer in that period of history where one could slap the other and ask for satisfaction with a duel.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:46 | 4831047 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

I'm not sure Obama is trained and capable of handling a pistol or revolver.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:55 | 4831077 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

That's why I said " too bad."  LOL.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:44 | 4831039 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

Looks to me like Putin was trying to ignore Obama and concentrating on someone he was shaking hands with on the right. Although he speaks excellent Russian IMHO, I believe he was addressing the unknown party in German saying (from mouth gestures) that he was glad to see him again. I don't know why Obama was smiling, maybe because he couldn't seem to get Putin's undivided attention. He should get accustomed to that.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:57 | 4831083 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Shoe shine, mistah Putin? I'ze set up right here!"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:46 | 4831045 the_magician
the_magician's picture

doesnt Obama says 'Talk to me...' or something?

so much comments and shitty jokes, but what exactly was said, nobody discusses. What the fuck did Obama said to Putin and what Putin replied.


Common' let me know, baby!


Fri, 06/06/2014 - 15:55 | 4831081 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"C'mon, Vlad, there's a men's room right down the hall. Just a quickie. Please!"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:56 | 4831488 Ser Bronn
Ser Bronn's picture

Punch Obama in the face this is the cry of your Russian Earth!

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 14:55 | 4832862 DYS
DYS's picture

You know... just allow your brain to consider for a moment that these guys are playing for the same team.   What would the implication of that be?

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 18:56 | 4833284 Runs-With_Toast
Runs-With_Toast's picture

Thats paranoid fat crap

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 20:41 | 4833430 royal
royal's picture

Interesting casual body language between those two.

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 22:56 | 4833629 swanpoint
swanpoint's picture

They're talking about Obama's workout video.

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