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Do Any Of These Family Dollar Calls Belong To Phil Mickelson?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Just after the close today, Carl Icahn disclosed that through his investment vehicles, he has accumulated a 9.39% stake in the recently beaten down Family Dollar, buying the shares with the "belief that they were undervalued. The Reporting Persons see great long-term potential in the Issuer’s industry and believe the Issuer’s current situation is analogous to that recently faced by companies such as CVR Energy, Forest Laboratories, Chesapeake Energy and Biogen, as well as a number of other companies over the last two decades, where the Reporting Persons’ involvement helped to generate tremendous returns for all shareholders."

Icahn continues:

The Reporting Persons intend to seek to have conversations with members of the Issuer's senior management and board of directors to discuss the Issuer’s business and strategies to enhance shareholder value, which may include the pursuit of operating initiatives or the exploration of strategic alternatives. The Reporting Persons may also determine to seek shareholder board representation if appropriate.

What he means is that quite soon Family Dollar will be forced to lever up the wazoo, and the proceeds of the debt will be used to buyback its shares, also known as Icahn activism 101, thereby boosting Icahn's wealth and crushing the long-term prospects for the company which will certainly file for bankruptcy under its new and improved debt load during the next downturn.

That much is given.

It probably won't surprise many that the process of accumulating Icahn's stake was almost identical to his foray into Netflix: a tiny fraction in stock, with just over 1.3 million shares purchased between April 7 and 9, and the rest, or 9.4 million shares, 88% of the total, in the form of calls expiring April 8, 2016 with a $38 strike price, with the purchase price offset by the selling of 9.4 million Puts with identical characteristics to the calls.

This, one may call Icahn 102 in a creeping activist tactics.

 

Needless to say, the stock soared by 10% in the after hours.

But while none of the above is peculiar in itself, aside from Icahn's sudden interest in a dollar retailer, one question does arise. When looking at the total volume of calls purchased in FDO over the past month...

 

... and particularly that massive spike today alone, just after noon, just before the 13-D filing...

.... we can't help but wonder: which belong to Phil Mickelson?

 

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Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:42 | 4831466 knukles
knukles's picture

Man, this smells worse than an anchovy's snortch

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:44 | 4831471 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Wasn't Phil on the course at TPC Southwind in Memphis at that time?

 

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:03 | 4831494 knukles
knukles's picture

Musta made the call from the Port-a-Potty on #6

PM:  Hey, Lloyd, it's me, Phil.
LB:  Phil who.
PM:  Me, Phil the golfer
LB:  Why are you whispering Phil the gofer
PM:  No (Hissing) It's me Phil the GOLFER not gofer.
LB:  Fore!  (laughing, putting hand over mouthpiece)  Get the fuck out of my office, Carl. 
PM:  Listen I gotta tip that ... (interrupted)
LB:  What?  I can't hear you, Gofer.
PM:  (Hissing louder) Golfer, damnit.  Quit making light, I'm in a porta shitter so I can't talk loud and... (interrupted)
LB:  Flip, why are you calling me when you're taking a shit?
PM:  Damnit, quit kidding around, I got a tip.
LB:  Know what the leper said to the whore?  You can keep the tip.  (Laughing)
PM:  God damnit, I got a tip, listen to me (raising voice) we gotta do something.
LB:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  OK, whatchur mom's maiden name, date of birth and tattoo on her snortch?
PM:  (Port-a-Potty banging wiggling all over as he starts kicking walls and jumping up and down, hitting his head repeatedly on ceiling, blue goop spilling all over)  (Screaming) Listen you fucking cretin, I got a tip and wanna buy some calls or whatever they're called on (interrupted)
LB:  Know what Phil?  You're the only guy I know that can come in first and third in a jerk off contest. (click)  Mabel, tell Carl coffees ready, he can come back in now.. Carl, (shouting) Carl, getchur ass in here!...

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:29 | 4831553 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

+1 Would LOL again.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 20:23 | 4831646 max2205
max2205's picture

FOUR!

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 20:25 | 4831647 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

"Correct me if I'm wrong sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key"

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 20:57 | 4831691 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Yes, Mickelson was at TPC Southwind Memphis around that time. In fact, he was on the practice tee. I saw him. Play was suspended due to weather so he headed in to the clubhouse with all the other players. To the casual observer, me, he seemed fairly focused on golf.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:43 | 4831468 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

Buy. It all. http://hedge.ly/1kcTRqw

Gekko

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:45 | 4831473 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Soemone may look into this... in 2017?

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:49 | 4831477 Laughinggrizzley
Laughinggrizzley's picture

Phil should have kept his mouth shut about paying a 65% tax in California.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:49 | 4831478 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

Fore!

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:53 | 4831485 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Phillie3Jack needs to take more pain meds.

Carl Ichan needs to get Cuisinarted

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 18:53 | 4831486 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

Well, this is actually a brilliant way to retire the "Family Dollar" name, which - in these non-inflationary inflationary times - must be pretty hard to keep at a dollar now.

This upcoming bankrupty just shows how the creative-destruction of the invisible-hand-of-the-marketplace provides opportunity for new businesses and investors, like, for example:  Family Two Dollar.  

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:05 | 4831501 knukles
knukles's picture

That's what happened to Woolworths.
Went the way of the Nickel Bag and Dime

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:14 | 4831517 VAD
VAD's picture

Everything's going up except the price of my labor.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:14 | 4831514 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Wall Street acting like Wall Street again.

Best book on WWII is still "hey, buddy. Don't you know a war is going on?"

In the 80's it was called "Barbarians at the Gate."

RJR\Nabisco levered buyout.

I wonder how all those folks who got slammed with Apple debt last year are feeling. 

Or anyone with a heating or electrical bill.

Do your homework folks.  Sometimes the biggest money is not to be followed as "their risk is always your risk first."

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:33 | 4831565 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm guessing they'll skip the Two Dollar store, and go directly to the Tree-Fiddy Store, as it's both marketable, and has more longevity.

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 11:09 | 4832343 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

then on to the "Nuttin Over NineNinetyNine" store.

Mon, 06/09/2014 - 23:33 | 4839499 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

Had that happen at a grocery store in Atlanta once.  The cashier says to me "fitoo fitoo."  After I didn't understand the third time, she points to the display that reads $52.52

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:10 | 4831510 Peak Finance
Peak Finance's picture

Family dollar.

Unreal. They are the WORST offender of retail overbuliding in South Florida. At this point there are so many stores so close together they are ONLY be canibalizing each other's sales, and there is NO WAY there is going to any same-store sales growth next year, doubtful there will be any growt5h at all they are saturated.  

I have not looked at the balance sheet lately but I WOULD have expected that they are already levered out the ass from all of the constructions loans for the insane overbuilding. 

All Dollar stores are doomed. it's clearly a bubble. 

 

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:36 | 4831570 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Everybody knows that the future is thrift stores (and yard sales).

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 11:20 | 4832347 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

At the local 99 Cent store I got a 16 oz bottle of hydrogen peroxide for 99 cents.  At the local CVS a 24 oz bottle cost me $1.99 but the bottle label said, "50% MORE FREE" so I felt good for making such a good deal.

Yard sales, 99-cents and craigslist -- that's the way to do it.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:12 | 4831512 Whatta
Whatta's picture

da boyz on the teevee say the big call buyer was just rolling out and up from a previous month's position...nothing to see, move along.

Go Phil, I hope you make a zillion with Carl. Fvck 'em all.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:13 | 4831515 nosoeawe
nosoeawe's picture

phil.. shit. it was all our honorable and upright congressmen and senators

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 19:20 | 4831532 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So Family Dollar and Caesar's Entertainment are in debt up to their eyeballs but we have an economic recovery?

So the cheap store and the casino company aren't doing well, but the economy is?  Uh-huh.

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 23:12 | 4831886 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Heeehee.. iFamily dollars is so busy, it must be nigger rigged. Those cunts at walmart need a M&A merger. We need to expand EBT payments to balance out this free for Chinese Factory Shit.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/chinese-factory-worker-cant-believe-the-shit-he-ma,1343/

NewspoorproductschinaISSUE 41•24Jun 15, 2005

 

Fri, 06/06/2014 - 23:17 | 4831893 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Funny as shit

Sat, 06/07/2014 - 15:25 | 4832922 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Tiger goes for the hookers.

 

Mick goes for cash.

 

With cash, one can get as many hookers as one wants.

 

Good thinking Mick.

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