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The NSA Is Seeking To Fill A Cyber Intelligence Analyst Position In Its Hawaii Location
In a world in which the Twitter account of one secret government agency, the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, jokes about the topic of abuse of secrecy and personal privacy - something which back in the day resulted in the impeachment of a US president - in broad public daylight, a year after the US "turnkey totalitarian state" has been exposed for all to see...
Welcome to Twitter! Can't wait to work with you on [REDACTED] :-) RT @CIA: We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.
— NGA (@NGA_GEOINT) June 6, 2014
... it can be difficult to evaluate what in this banana republic is a grotesque farce and what is reality.
The following job posting from the NSA, however, seeking an experienced Cyber Intelligence Analyst for the Honolulu, Hawaii location, is all too real.
Which makes us wonder: is this merely an attempt by the NSA - whose every last secret is being slowly but surely revealed - to unburn bridges with the most infamous Hawaii-based NSA operative in history? Or, alternatively, is it time for another patriotic whistleblower to step in Edward's shoes?
Responsibilities
NSA Intelligence Analysts also support cyber! Intelligence Analysts seek creative solutions to answer cyber-related analytic questions, demonstrate a thorough understanding of the telecommunications environment and network trends of their targets, solve difficult technical problems, work independently and collaborate effectively in cyber analysis and research, apply new techniques to solve analytic problems, prepare written and oral assessments of foreign intelligence that provide unique insight into target cyber intentions unavailable from other intelligence disciplines.
NSA Intelligence Analysts perform a wide range of analytic tasks, including the following: maintain awareness of emerging cyber-related technologies; research relevant technical sources for information on foreign intelligence targets; develop query strategies to obtain relevant information; identify communication patterns; determine tactics, techniques, and procedures for intrusion sets; assess validity and relevance of foreign intelligence; profile foreign targets and their activities; report target research outcomes to customers; perform target discovery by developing strategies to obtain new information and sources for intelligence; and/or monitor target data for changes or anomalies. Additionally, NSA Intelligence Analysts are expected to take an inclusive approach to problem solving and mission accomplishments by frequently engaging with partners, enablers and customers across the Intelligence Community.
Skills
Applicants with 5 or more years of hands-on Intelligence Analysis cryptologic (SIGINT) experience will be reviewed against current open cyber-related Intelligence Analysis positions. Applicants should be well-rounded full performance SIGINT intelligence analysts with current knowledge about SIGINT tools, techniques and applications. In addition, familiarity with telecommunications, computer networks, quantitative analysis techniques and previous exposure to data analysis is highly desirable.
Qualifications
Entry is with a High School Diploma and 6 years experience, an Associate's Degree and 4 years of experience, a Bachelor's Degree and 2 years of experience, a Master's Degree and 1 year of experience, or a Doctoral Degree and no experience.
Degree can be in any field.
Experience performing cryptanalytic or cryptologic work.
Intelligence Analysis experience.
Experience with telecommunications or computer networks.
Technical work involving data analysis.
Data processing experience.
Academic Requirements:
Degree in areas listed below are preferred but not required.
Bachelors or Master's degree in areas such as:
Int'l Relations, Int'l Studies, Int'l Security, Int'l Affairs, Global Studies, Security & Intelligence Studies, Political Science, Regional Studies (such as Middle East, Russia, China, Korea, etc), Geospatial/Geography, Topical studies (such as cyber security, counter-proliferation, counterterrorism, international crime, , etc), or Finance/International Economics.
Coursework, knowledge or previous experience in the following areas is highly desirable: cyber security, computer forensics, computer science, computer networks, telecommunications, quantitative analysis, statistical analysis, data modeling, comparative analysis, data mining, data science, social networking analysis, and/or computational data analysis.
Desired overall GPA 3.0+ (Transcripts are reviewed for relevant coursework and grades).
Qualifications/Experience
Proven hands-on SIGINT Intelligence Analyst skills required. Applicants should be able to make an immediate positive impact on cyber mission with little-to-no training.
How To Apply - External
To apply for this position, please click the 'Apply Now' button located at the top or bottom of this page. After completing the application and clicking the 'Submit Final' button, you will receive a confirmation email. Emails regarding your application status will be sent periodically. Please ensure your spam filters are configured to accept emails from noreply@nsa.gov.
***PLEASE NOTE:
U.S. Citizenship is required for all applicants. Reasonable accommodations provided to applicants with disabilities during the application and hiring process where appropriate. NSA is an equal opportunity employer and abides by applicable employment laws and regulations. All applicants and employees are subject to random drug testing in accordance with Executive Order 12564. Employment is contingent upon successful completion of a security background investigation and polygraph.
This position is a Defense Civilian Intelligence Personnel System (DCIPS) position in the Excepted Service under 10 U.S.C. 1601. DoD Components with DCIPS positions apply Veterans' Preference to eligible candidates as defined by Section 2108 of Title 5 USC, in accordance with the procedures provided in DoD Instruction 1400.25, Volume 2005, DCIPS Employment and Placement. If you are a veteran claiming veterans' preference, as defined by Section 2108 of Title 5 U.S.C., you must submit documents verifying your eligibility with your application package.
DCIPS Disclaimer
The National Security Agency (NSA) is part of the DoD Intelligence Community Defense Civilian Intelligence Personnel System (DCIPS). All positions in the NSA are in the Excepted Services under 10 United States Codes (USC) 1601 appointment authority.
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probably to cover up the murder of obama sychophant loretta fuddy.
They must have been waiting thinking the last guy was going to come back.
A doctoral degree and no experience
Fuck me...
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson qualifications
Jesus Christ, the moment I got there I knew there'd be trouble to pay. Bats. The fucking place was full of bats. Hanging, beeping, gurgling. Pecking at their feet. Flying, swooping and diving all over the place, like a great kinetic kaleidoscope for one's head to feast upon, but scary, getting caught in the wool fabric of the chairs where we were supposed to sit. Tearing and biting to get free. I should a taken that as an omen. But it was only my first impression, like an overwhelming rush of adrenaline, suggesting that the flight syndrome should be kicking in high gear. But I snapped out of it when whomever it was supposed to be in charge asked me about my qualifications. God God, man, I was qualified to work in any madhouse they wanted. More than qualified, I was comfortable. Even in Barstow during the summer.
"Experience performing cryptanalytic or cryptologic work.
Intelligence Analysis experience.
Experience with telecommunications or computer networks.
Technical work involving data analysis.
Data processing experience."
Somewhere in a GRU safe house, there's a hipster who's a perfect match for these requirements.
US citizenship required, unlIke POTUS.
Can the person seeking the job in the interview ask what happened to the last person in this position?
FUCK YOU, NSA!!
Have a feelin my piss test is gonna be an issue....then again, they probably know that
Hey, that's MY job!
Oops
shit
Snowdon fits the bill.
Currently resides in Russia
LMFAO! Knuks, not everyone is "20-20" iF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
When the going gets weird the weird turn pro. A modern updated would insert full retard
If she resembled Jodie Foster, and had sailing experience....
I know a guy who knows a guy in Moscow.
Might be interested.
Says he once worked in Intel.
Name escapes me now; Ed-Something-or-Other.
Why would they? They got paid to fly to hawaii. Hawaii's got everything there. Beach, bbq, great hats and pretty girls. Why spend it in an office sink as a desk jockey in one of the most beautiful place on the planet?
Because if some fools flew you out. It would be the perfect time to quit as soon as you hit the tarmac and get slack on a beach somewhere. Put the whole project under Double fisted Electronic Intelligence field work while reviewing the latest in international bikini standards.
Remember. Apply once and apply often to see the world.
(And just cause you get the job doesn't mean you have to give a rats ass what the SOW is. Because some fools sent you to Hawaii on their dime and time. Win-win in that situation. Well, if you are a Coyote. If the employer, well they are SOL. But meh, what they pay wasn't going to stay worth anything anyways and loyality only lasts as long as the value of what is given stays valuable.)
Where do I send my resume? Oh yeah, you all probably harvested that from my computer already. Turn on my camera so you can see what I look like.
NSA thinks Snowden is stupid enough to apply for this job, again.
Yes, one must always bear this in mind:
No matter how many of "the best and the brightest" it lures into its service — i.e., no matter what it stuffs into a neocortex that it does not possess — the state, being an inherently predatory and parasitic entity, is completely under the control of its reptile brain.
It is, and always will be, the nature of this beast.
Which is why, until the day that it is rendered extinct, it can kiss my ass.
Search the recent murders and Obits for whom it might be:
http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/20140523_Friends_identify_vi...
http://www.businessinsider.com/ex-kgb-spy-the-russians-tricked-snowden-2...
The character assassination of Snowden never stops, just like with those jailhouse informants, they got some ex KGB spy who defected who supposedly is in touch with his old pals in the KGB (and they tell him everything) LOL, to try to taint Snowden.
They are trying to deflect the issue, all I know is he is just talking through his ass while Snowden has provided concrete proof of the illegal activities of the NSA.
Additional job requirements: Must have no morals, ethics, conscience, or any human qualities within them.
Must be willing to violate the US Constitution upon command
Must be able to keep their mouth shut
Must turn in their passport
Must be willing to be disavowed if discovered and accept their punishment from the Hague tribunal for crimes against humanity.
Other scumbaggery as required.
Dik suking "Ivy League" referrals welcome;
Obama must have slipped that one in there.
And....must be able to learn Russian.
No, no, no! "Can have morals, ethics, conscience - preferably several sets to choose from."
Must enjoy "Maui Wowie" and all things NSA PG 17.9. Also, and perhaps this is top secret "Your eyes wish they could see this", you just simply can't be "that guy".
Reference:
Edward Snowden. Somewhere between Siberia and Moscow Russia. Phone # Ask for Vladamir.
All others available upon request.
Viva Edward Snowden!
Coursework, knowledge or previous experience in the following areas is highly desirable: cyber security, computer forensics, computer science, computer networks, telecommunications, quantitative analysis, statistical analysis, data modeling, comparative analysis, data mining, data science, social networking analysis, and/or computational data analysis.
Yet they hired Snowden who was a community college drop-out. Nothing against ES but I always wondered how does a GED receipient get hired into a decently paid position (200K/yr) that lets him travel to places like Switzerland for work.
Someone in the system like a relative vouched for him. That is how John Perkins got in.
This is what comes to mind when I think about those employed at the NSA:
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair
The chick that vouched for Snowden @ Booze just got a new job in oil country. They're just looking to fill a space.
OK....the obvious response is
Shit....I didn't raise my hand up fast enuff...8^)
Please let them hire the "Doctorate with no experience."
applications can be submitted as follows:
NSA@ www. (any website)
In a sane world they'd rehire Snowden with a 10% pay raise and allow him to be a columnist for both The Guradian and the Washington Post.
I hate to see that poly interview.
So do you believe in the constitution.
Yes!
Next please!
Is this a smoking or non-smoking office?
I sure as hell will not bring down governments and/or destroy the lives of public and private individuals if I'm forced inhale second-hand smoke.
I have standards.
Requirements: As an 'asset', you may be required to appear publicly as a disinformation agent.
www.TopTheNews.com
Robo? I love your Avatar after almost (4) years. I laugh my ass off. Do you like these guys Robo?
Limp Bizkit! History Repeats Bitchez!
Fukushima projections are that Hawaii will be unliveable in five years due to continuing deposits of radiation on sea and shore. I can't imagine why they would have trouble filling that job. /sark
Fuck ME! I am qualified for $150,000 a year with full bennies in OAHU! Fuck, I promise I won't leak very much and I swear no whistle-blowing, you can give me a fucking lie detector test and a drug test and everything. And I can be pretty fucking stupid too if necessary -- I'm really good at looking the other way. All right, God damn it, ALL RIGHT!
Damn EW you are good for not just the hire but an INSTANT promotion. And you get a lifetime supply of Toilet Paper with the Constitution printed on it.
You're effin El Capitan "potus El' General".
Leaker of the year gets a free drive by wire Mercedes equiped with remote explosive device.
Other requirements: Hate your fellow human beings, be a sociopath and psychopath, be able to spot sarcasm.
That last one is the biggest one. If you can't detect sarcasm you might have an issue with knowing whether or not you're dealing with the real thing.
They will have a problem establishing if the candidate can detect sarcasm for they don't have that skill themselves. I can imagine that they have whole committees and working group working out what exactly sarcasm is.
Important requirement: must be willing to put the interst of Israel above all else, and be willing to see all raw data that you collect to the Mossad first.
I'll do it. Now how do I ship a guillotine to Hawaii?!
Hi, I'm Bob Spengler from the NSA. I'd like to let you all know that we're making big changes here at the NSA. For example, we're renaming our agency! The new name is the Barack Obama Harmless Intelligence Collection Agency. We'd like you to think of us as being like the IRS -- always here to serve YOU. While no agency is perfect, I'd like to point out that other agencies have their own problems with corruption. For example, the FCC and net neutrality -- don't blame us for that one! If only corporations dominate the internet, well, frankly it would be like an echo chamber for us. That's why we here at B.O.H.I.C.A. firmly support the existence of fringe lunatic websites like this one.
Have a great day!
... And our division chief is a great guy, Mr. Heywood Jablowme.
So, they'll take anyone from high school to a doctorate.
Hollywood couldnt make this shit up.
As dopey as they usually are, if a corporate HR-type posted this, they would be out on the street.
NSA Hawai looks for CIA ?
That the are asking for an experienced analyst and posting the position publicly instead of internally should tell you all you need to know.
Don't give these people too much credit. They are the government....
I got that the other day from your usual sniffing recruiter...HFT *Lol*
The Roles:
* Fulltime positions with superb perks
* Excellent Competition -Based and guaranteed bonus
* Full relocation
* H-1 transfer
The Infrastructure Applications team is seeking experienced Software Engineers to design and build software for their high performance systems. The successful candidates will join a team that is leading the design and development of Infrastructure systems. In this role engineers will participate in the design and implementation of various components and systems that are required to be highly efficient, robust, and scalable. In addition to developing high performance software, the candaidates will learn about the financial markets and the clients real-time pricing applications. The client's work environment is fast-paced, spirited and friendly. They are seeking technically capable, creative, and motivated software developers to join them in continuing their industry-leading success.