• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Tepper Is Nervous... About His Prenup

Tyler Durden's picture


When David Tepper speaks, markets (especially those short) quake as the sheep blindly follow him into the breach; so when he said he "was nervous" recently, bulls got scared (briefly). As PageSix reports this morning, Tepper is nervous once again as the world's highest paid fund manager has split with his wife of nearly 30 years. The split could well be the most expensive hedge fund divorce ever and we suspect comments such as this did not help... "What do you think I should do with it? . . . I could buy an island. I could buy a private jet . . . I could get myself a 22-year-old!"

Via PageSix's Emily Smith,

David Tepper, the world’s highest paid fund manager for the past two years, has split with his wife of nearly 30 years, Page Six can exclusively reveal.


In what could be one of the most expensive hedge fund divorces yet, Tepper, 56, who runs $20 billion Appaloosa Management in Short Hills, NJ, and his wife Marlene have separated after 28 years of marriage, multiple sources confirmed.


We’re told David and Marlene, who married in 1986 and have three adult children, have yet to formally file for divorce. A source said, “They have separated and are telling friends the marriage has run its course. They hope to settle things quickly, quietly and amicably.”


But the split could prove extremely costly. Tepper, a minority owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, has an estimated net worth of $10 billion.


He is one of the most successful and respected managers in the hedge fund world, and after making a 2009 trade that netted his company $7.5 billion and himself a payday of nearly $4 billion, Tepper was quoted in New York Magazine saying: “What do you think I should do with it? . . . I could buy an island. I could buy a private jet . . . I could get myself a 22-year-old!”


The former Goldman Sachs exec was ranked the top-earning investor in 2012, earning a $4.4 billion paycheck. In 2013, Tepper — who famously has a pair of giant brass testicles on a plaque adorning the wall of his office — personally earned $3.5 billion.

As far as we know, Rupert Murdoch's split from his wife Anna in 1999 is the most expensive divorce ever at $1.7 billion... but at only half of what Tepper earned last year, we suspect this one could get ugly...

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Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:04 | 4840089 klinko
klinko's picture

I wish I was 22...

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:07 | 4840103 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

No thanks!  Been there, seen it, done that a LOT and nothing but problems after a while.

Now hookers on the other hand..

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:17 | 4840122 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

This muthafucka has been married to the Fed for the past few years and the wife is FED UP with it....if I were his wife, I would dump him right now before Appaloosa becomes Crappaloser and goes down in flames.


Btw, Tepper, you can buy a ton of shit...but one thing you can never buy....HONOR.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:49 | 4840256 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

You are correct.  His skill is riding the "Let it Ride" choice.  The FED earned him the money.  I hope she takes him for 50% exactly

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:53 | 4840530 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

"Btw, Tepper, you can buy a ton of shit...but one thing you can never buy....HONOR."  

Why would a sociopath worry about honor when he can just double down on douchebag and btw have you ever looked at this ugly muthrfkr......not even a mom could keep from barfing

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:18 | 4840397 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

aye, that Tepper's a charmer, heh.

those who place accumulation over all else, and see everything outside of self as something to be purchased/acquired, absolutely lack honour - integrity gets sold to the highest bidder early on in their game. . .

nothing to aspire to.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:03 | 4840323 eurogold
eurogold's picture

Headbanger, I'm with you ! Anything that flies, floats or F*+ks........you are better off renting !

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:32 | 4840467 Four chan
Four chan's picture

lol now thats a good one!

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:29 | 4840169 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

Boo HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SOB I will only have $5,000,000,000 and I am only going to double it next year! BOOO HOOO! Cry me an EFFING RIVER!

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:55 | 4840280 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

And what ... be in college ... paying the most ever for education ... while recieving less in knowledge than ever before ... going into a deflationary vortex run by elderly who can't afford to quit their jobs ... and the nations of the world on the brink of global war (again) ...


I genuninely feel almost a sadness for the shit sandwich young people are being handed, especially Americans. While it is true many of them are selfish douche bags, that most certainly does not apply to all.

What is so damn great about being young anyway?



Tue, 06/10/2014 - 14:33 | 4841459 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Conceptually, the young have more of life's most precious and basic commodity, time.  Fortunately or unfortunately, youth also suffers from a lack of experience, and thus generally a lack of wisdom.  The trick is that no one just wishes they were young again, they wish they knew then what they know now, but there's no going back.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:04 | 4840330 tradingdaze
tradingdaze's picture

I wish I was 65

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 12:20 | 4840883 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

He could hire the best hit man on the planet with that much $$$

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:05 | 4840096 Incubus
Incubus's picture

22yr olds cost an awful lot these days.



Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:13 | 4840112 Rainman
Rainman's picture

They swell, they tell and they're ungrateful as hell.

Tepper better watch out or he'll get Sterlinged .

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 12:12 | 4840843 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And she'd better stay away from Home Depot and its Nailgun section.  Or other dangerous places and faces.

His kind of money can buy/rent all kinds of... Solutions.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:18 | 4840136 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Initial outlay is minimal, but the upkeep will kill ya.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:29 | 4840171 Help Is Not Coming
Help Is Not Coming's picture

This isn't about the purchase price or the total cost of ownership. It is the 50% restocking fee that gets you.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 10:04 | 4840329 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

Better to rent.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 12:36 | 4840888 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Or, as the mother of a former girlfriend once said: "Why should he buy the cow, when he gets the milk for free?"

My advice to rich guys:  "Buy the fucking milk!  If you do want to own the cow, to conform with your cowboy friends, buy a whole fucking dairy."

My advice to poor guys (90% of ZHers who are not in the 1%): "Get a PRENUP, or you deserve everything you get."

Put another way:  "If you really love her, marry her. If she really loves you, she'll sign the prenup."  Make it your mantra when you start dating (in a joking, funny delivery, to help the medicine go down), and to plant the seed of that idea early.  If she's still opposed to it after some months, ditch the bitch.  She just might cave, or you have your answer: "Although you love her enough to want to marry her, clearly she does not love you enough to sign the prenup".

p.s. What's a prenup but a fashionable and acceptable deal for the rich & famous?  A deal, where both parties agree formally and legally what they bring into the "marriage" (a legal merger), what they are allowed and not allowed to do in the marriage, and what they get after its legal dissolution -- should that take place.  Note:  With a prenup, lawyers make a little bit of money up front.  W/o a prenup, their entire legal and marriage industry makes an absolute fortune at the rear end.  You want a Front-Loaded or Rear-Loaded Marriage Contract?  Pick one, or the Rear-Load one will be picked for you -- where you "play Ben Dover" and take it up the rear.  Think, plan and act accordingly.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 13:32 | 4841167 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

She can always claim she didn't understand the prenup especially if english isn't her native tongue. Many prenups have been broken this way.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 14:12 | 4841355 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

A Feminoozi judge can still throw the prenup out the window. Safest bet is rent locally, or own overseas.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:19 | 4840138 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

They're just not worth the drama at any age.  Why even bother committing anymore unless you want children and a stable home for them?

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:57 | 4840293 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I was always of the opinion that marriage is about family (i.e. kids) and taxes. The IRS pretty much scrapped the latter, particularly for higher income salaried couples.

But that is just me.



Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:06 | 4840100 Stackers
Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:57 | 4840298 Agent P
Agent P's picture

She could take 90% and he'd still be filthy rich.  

You know why divorce is so expensive?  Because it's worth it.

I say give her half and move on.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 11:10 | 4840588 Relentless101
Relentless101's picture

Completely agree. 30 years. Pay that lady.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 11:45 | 4840741 frankTHE COIN
frankTHE COIN's picture

Tep should be OK. Steven Spielberg gave Amy Irving half his 200 million dollar fortune and it looks like she bailed way too early. Tep got a little help, but he can make money with money.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:09 | 4840108 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

hopefully he spends the rest of his life in a viagra induced coma

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:32 | 4840166 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

I'm looking forward to watching his wife staple his balls to the wall.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:42 | 4840213 eurogold
eurogold's picture

Am I glad that my pre-nup held in court when I got divorced ! My advice ? Get a couple of 22 year olds and have fun for a while !


Tue, 06/10/2014 - 11:44 | 4840737 Bindar Dundat
Bindar Dundat's picture

The latin root of divorve means -- sucking your balls out through your wallet.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:10 | 4840111 Mrs. Cog
Mrs. Cog's picture

Hey David, how about buying a conscience?

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:18 | 4840117 Incubus
Incubus's picture

no point.


What does a conscience get you?  Go beat your tambourine & sing about conscience.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:27 | 4840164 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

What does the jungle get you, but jungle pleasures. For the civilized beasts have nothing worth having. As for what civility offers: nothing that a beast would understand or want.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 09:15 | 4844101 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Oh shush, you self-important buffoon.


I can be more civil than you ever could be.  I just don't entertain delusions of "objective abstracts" such as a conscience.


I am ultimately responsible for my actions and it is only up to me be responsible for it.  There are no fairies telling me to be good: I am good because I want to be.


You ficticious lot scare me.


If you're worried about me being ultimately aware and willing to be responsible for my own ethics, then allow me to create Uttuwallukkuumbukku.  He is my god.  He arbritrates ethics to me and makes sure I am good.


Can you rest easier now?

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:13 | 4840113 what's that smell
what's that smell's picture

a new low for zhedge....

....David Tepper's dirty laundry blog.

here's a link to a more important story: 


Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:17 | 4840133 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I'm fine with it and I call zh out often enough. Tepper will always be zh related whether it's biz or personal and at least it gets us shooting the shit about something else while we watch the markets drift higher.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:28 | 4840165 bobby02
Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:19 | 4840142 Patriot Eke
Patriot Eke's picture

Fuck off

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:13 | 4840115 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

These whackjob billionaires typically only buy islands, planes, cars, and obscene houses to attract 22 year old women anyway. Might as well cut out the middleman and go straight to the source...

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:29 | 4840168 max2205
max2205's picture

She dumped him..tiny weenie

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:34 | 4840182 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Wish I could be a billionaire whackjob, being a broke whackjob just ain't impressing the chicks !!!

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:13 | 4840120 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

i remember hearing something about Thailand and she-boys somewhere...

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:20 | 4840149 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

That's lady-boy to you, good sir.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:26 | 4840162 MasterOfTheMult...
MasterOfTheMultiverse's picture

Lady-boy or she-male? I'm confused...

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:37 | 4840198 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

i think the politically correct term is guy with tits!

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 12:06 | 4840826 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Calling Yen Cross...

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:14 | 4840124 Blano
Blano's picture

Marlene's not bad looking from what I can find.  I'd hit that.  She'll have a boy toy herself, no problem.

Tue, 06/10/2014 - 09:17 | 4840135 Divine
Divine's picture



Excellent point. Now where can I get her number? She can have a 25-year-old herself.

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